Podcast Episode Summary

This Is History: A Dynasty to Die For

Episode 3: A Nativity to Die For — Gold, Frankincense... and Murder

Released: December 23, 2025 | Host: Dan Jones | Guest (in bonus content): Prof. Helen Bond

Overview of the Episode

In this high-spirited, irreverent, and historical mini-season finale, Dan Jones gives the classic Nativity story “the full This Is History treatment.” Through the lens of the Gospel of Matthew, Jones retells the tale of the Magi, King Herod, and the holy family's fraught escape to Egypt—infusing deep historical analysis, cheeky humor, and a sharp eye for the politics behind the Christmas story. The episode investigates why the Nativity narrative is the way it is, explores the cast of characters, especially Herod, and dives into the roots of beloved Christmas traditions and carols.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the (Midwinter) Scene: The Magi’s Arrival

[02:23]

• Imaginative Reconstruction: Dan paints a vivid picture of the Persian astrologers (the Magi) encamping by night, following a mysterious star believed to signal the birth of a new King of the Jews.
• Historical Context: The Magi are “constellation botherers” from Persia, akin to Zoroastrian priests, interpreting omens in the stars and, according to old prophecies, seeking a momentous king.

Quote:
"They come very much in peace to offer him gifts and give him their formal respects. Little do they know they're getting themselves into way more than they bargained for, because there is indeed a king of the Jews in Jerusalem. But it's not the one they're looking for." — Dan Jones [04:10]

2. ‘We Three Kings’ and the Making of a Legend

[04:53]

• Song Origins & Humor: A comic retelling of “We Three Kings” and its 19th-century roots in American pageantry. Dan shares a childhood memory of his dad’s parody version.
• Gospel Differences: Contrasts Matthew’s dramatic, royal-flavored Nativity with Luke’s humbler shepherd-manger story:
  • Matthew presents Jesus as a lineal descendant of King David and eventual King of Heaven.
  • Luke emphasizes Jesus’s humility and outreach to the poor.
• Magi Myth-making:
  • The number “three” is inferred from the gifts, not specified by Matthew.
  • The wise men’s names (Caspar, Melchior, Balthazar) and “kings” status are medieval inventions.

Quote:
"What he says is, in the time of King Herod, after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem, asking, where is the child who has been born King of the Jews? For we observed his star in the east and have come to pay him homage. Now, one word in that should leap out at us. Magi." — Dan Jones, reading Matthew [07:38]

3. King Herod: Builder, Butcher, and Bogeyman

[10:56]

• Profile of Herod:
  • Herod as the “very definition of mad, bad and dangerous to know.”
  • Notably paranoid and brutal—he killed his wife, her brother, and three of his sons on suspicion alone.
  • Herod’s ambitious temple renovations are still visible in Jerusalem (the Western Wall).
  • He reacts with predictably deadly intent upon hearing the Magi’s inquiries.

Quote:
"He's also an utterly ruthless, maniacally jealous sociopath... Not surprisingly, Herod goes about with an army of 2,000 bodyguards. And even less surprisingly, this turns out not to be the guy to give the big reveal..." — Dan Jones [11:49]

4. The Magi Bring Their Gifts: Symbolism & Art

[16:03]

• Arrival in Bethlehem:
  • The Magi arrive at a house (not a stable), welcomed by Mary and Joseph, and present Jesus with gold, frankincense, and myrrh—each highly symbolic.
  • There is “mild foreshadowing”: Christ’s fate is hinted at via the gift of myrrh (used in embalming).
• Artists Throughout History: The scene has inspired works by painters from Giotto to Bosch and Rubens.

Quote:
"Gold recognizes that Jesus is born to a royal line... Frankincense is a sign that Jesus has a sacred ministry... And then there's myrrh... associated with embalming the dead. Mer's inclusion in the gifts... is another good example of the Nativity story being retrofitted around the circumstances of Christ's ministry and passion." — Dan Jones [18:24]

• Medieval Relics:
  • A digression on the “holy foreskin” relic, believed in the Middle Ages to aid women in childbirth, including an anecdote about Henry V shipping one to England for Catherine de Valois.

5. Divine Warnings and Escape Plots

[24:03]

• The Magi’s Dream:
  • The Magi, warned in a dream, avoid returning to Herod—expert dream-interpretation being their specialty.
• Joseph’s Dream:
  • Joseph is likewise warned by an angel in a dream to take the family to Egypt.
  • Dan humorously notes, “You’ve got to hand it to the angels. They really micromanage old Joseph.”

Quote:
"But Joseph is nothing if not suggestible. As soon as he wakes up, he grabs Mary and Jesus and tells them they're leaving Bethlehem not for Nazareth, but for Egypt, where Herod's writ does not run.” — Dan Jones [25:38]

6. The Massacre of the Innocents: Gospel Divergences

[26:09]

• Herod’s Wrath:
  • Herod, feeling tricked, responds with the “Massacre of the Innocents”—killing all boys under two in Bethlehem. Matthew alone recounts this; Luke does not.
  • No independent historical evidence for this slaughter outside Matthew’s gospel, and Dan notes the divergence from Luke’s account, which lacks both the massacre and the escape to Egypt.

Quote:
"For once. It's quite comforting to say that there's no other corroborating evidence for what becomes known as the Massacre of the innocents. Luke says nothing about it." — Dan Jones [26:48]

• Reconciling the Gospels:
  • Matthew and Luke arrive at the same endpoint—Jesus grows up in Nazareth—but their routes, motivations, and emphases differ widely.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dan’s humor about his father’s “super mild blasphemy” parody of We Three Kings [05:45]
• On the gifts of the Magi:
  “To any kids listening, I want to make it plain that this is all happening in the era before Lego, Death Stars, and iPhone 17s.” [18:12]
• On Joseph’s dreams:
  “You've got to hand it to the angels. They really micromanage old Joseph.” [25:15]
• On the “holy foreskin”:
  “Quite a few alleged holy foreskins survived. Obviously, not all, if any, the real thing…” [17:08]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:23]—Opening narrative on the Magi’s journey and the “new king of the Jews”
• [04:53]—“We Three Kings” parody, Matthew vs. Luke, and the myth-making around the Magi
• [10:56]—Introducing King Herod: politics and villainy
• [16:03]—The Magi visit the holy family, presentation of gifts, and their meaning
• [18:12]—Medieval relics and the role of the “holy foreskin”
• [24:03]—Dreams: The Magi and Joseph warned to escape Herod’s plan
• [26:09]—“Massacre of the Innocents”; reconciling Matthew and Luke’s stories
• [End]—Dan wraps up the miniseries and invites listeners to further discussion and bonus content

Additional Insights

• Role of Tradition: The episode underscores how details we “know” about the Nativity are shaped as much (or more) by centuries of tradition, medieval imagination, and artistic license as by the biblical text.
• Uncertainty and Storytelling: Dan is refreshingly candid about the gaps, contradictions, and narrative devices (like the “moving star” and Joseph’s dreams) in the biblical account, emphasizing that many details are "macguffins" to keep the story moving and meaningful for its original audience.
• Modern Resonance: The tale’s enduring magnetism—whether in song, art, or school Nativity plays—owes much to its blend of political drama, mythic symbolism, and adaptability.

Final Thoughts & Community Call

Dan Jones concludes by encouraging listeners to join the discussion on Patreon and share their favorite Christmas films, teasing more in-depth historical discussions in the bonus episodes with Professor Helen Bond.

For listeners new or old, the episode offers a rollicking ride through the politics, legends, and mysteries of the Nativity, with Dan Jones’s trademark irreverence and eye for historical color.