This Is History: A Dynasty to Die For

S8 E6 | The Gun Show

Host: Dan Jones
Date: October 21, 2025
Publisher: Sony Music Entertainment

Episode Overview

In this episode, acclaimed historian Dan Jones immerses listeners in the dramatic onset of Henry V’s invasion of France, focusing on the 1415 siege of Harfleur—the campaign’s explosive beginning, driven not just by dynastic ambition but also by personal insult. The episode explores Henry’s military acumen, his response to the infamous “tennis balls” insult from the French Dauphin, and his relentless drive to assert his claim over France. Jones vividly reconstructs the violence and logistics of medieval siege warfare while unpacking Henry’s psyche and leadership style as he embarks on his campaign of conquest.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Siege of Harfleur: An Explosive Introduction

• Scene-setting (03:30): Dan Jones brings listeners to the battered outskirts of Harfleur as English gunners load primitive cannons with stones, unleashing destruction on the city’s defenses.
  • “On the churned up smoky countryside outside the French town of Harfleur, a team of Englishmen stand around a fat bellied cannon and drop a huge stone into the gun's mouth... the cannon fires that hunk of stone through the air towards Harfleur's battered walls, clears the walls and destroys the roof of a house.” — Dan Jones [03:30]
• The importance of Harfleur as a strategic port at the Seine’s mouth.
• Henry V’s hands-on leadership—personally encouraging his gunners and reinforcing ruthlessness and discipline.

2. The Tennis Balls Insult: Personal Motivations for War

• Dan humorously segues into the tale of bad gifts, linking his own “traumatic” Secret Santa story with the tennis balls sent to Henry V.
  • “I'm not talking here about a pair of socks you suspected showed a lack of thought or an air fryer... I'm talking about a present deliberately intended to wind you up.” — Dan Jones [05:13]
• The tennis balls anecdote:
  • French Dauphin Louis sends Henry a box of tennis balls with a mocking note, implying Henry is a boy king, only fit to play games.
  • French diplomats spread that Henry is “never going to be a military threat… they ought to send him pillows to rest his dear little head on until he’s grown up.” [07:21]
  • Henry reportedly responds furiously: "...upon receiving his terrible gift, Henry stands up and bellows. That is horseshit." — Dan Jones [08:15]
  • The insult galvanizes Henry, who vows to “send London balls”—that is, cannonballs—back to France.

3. Henry’s Preparation and Reform

• On ascending in 1413, Henry cracks down on crime and royal spending. He secures funding from Parliament for his military campaign.
• He reasserts Plantagenet claims to the French crown, demanding Charles VI hand over the throne or face war.

4. A Divided France, a United England

• France is beset by civil war (Burgundians vs. Armagnacs), weakening their ability to respond.
  • “The mad King Charles VI has been taken to the Abbey of Saint Denis near Paris and made to raise the Sacred French battle flag known as the Oriflamme. But he may as well have been waving a cucumber.” — Dan Jones [22:43]
• English forces are unified, with Henry’s brothers and capable nobles supporting the campaign.

5. The Bloody Conclusion at Harfleur

• Harfleur’s defenders, worn down by weeks of cannon fire and disease, surrender to Henry on harsh terms:
  • Citizens must evacuate with nothing but a few pennies, the garrison surrenders as POWs, and the city is handed to English control.
• Henry enters the city triumphant, giving thanks and organizing its defense.
• The episode details the human cost—disease ravages the English camp; notable deaths (Richard Courtenay, Earl of Arundel), and depletion of forces.

6. Moments of Doubt and Reckless Determination

• After the costly siege, with his army exhausted and weakened by dysentery, Henry is advised to withdraw.
  • “Almost to a man they say, England. Now ski. So Henry nods, thinks a moment and gives his orders. Gather eight days food, he says. Send the ships home empty and make sure every man who's able is ready to march. Boys, we're going on an adventure.” — Dan Jones [30:59]
• Jones suggests the taunting French “voice”—especially the tennis balls—gnaws at Henry’s confidence, driving him to press on when caution would dictate retreat.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the siege’s brutality:
  “If they didn’t give in straight away and surrender on terms, then the English would wreak biblical vengeance, killing every man and taking all the women, children and property for themselves.” — Dan Jones [15:52]

• On the French civil conflict:
  “The French are on tax strike, so there's no money to pay for an army. And the Burgundians and other Armagnacs are still so mutually hostile and suspicious that neither side wants to leave Paris in case the other one carries out a coup while they're gone.” — Dan Jones [22:43]

• On Henry’s inner drive:
  “The only thing that can possibly get in Henry's way at the moment is his own self belief.” — Dan Jones [16:40]

• Summary of medieval gift-giving:
  “Well, there you go. That's how you return an unwanted present medieval style. You don't just take it back to the store, you blow the store to pieces with your cannon and make everyone working there homeless.” — Dan Jones [33:05]

Important Segment Timestamps

• 03:30 — Vivid depiction of English artillery at Harfleur; Henry’s arrival on the field
• 05:13 — Dan’s personal bad-gift story segueing into historical “gift” insult
• 07:21 — The tennis ball insult and Henry’s furious reaction
• 13:15 — Henry’s domestic reforms and war preparations
• 15:52 — Henry’s dire threats during the siege and invocation of “biblical vengeance”
• 19:50 — Details of English unity and noble leadership vs. French disunity
• 22:43 — Collapse of Harfleur’s resistance and French inaction
• 27:10 — Costs of victory: disease, death, and difficult decisions
• 30:59 — Henry’s fateful (and possibly reckless) decision to march on, spurning advice to retreat
• 33:05 — Humorous wrap-up with a modern analogy to medieval gift-giving

Bonus Content Preview: Tennis Balls in Shakespeare and History

• Dan and producer Al discuss how the tennis balls anecdote appears in Shakespeare's Henry V and contemporary chronicles.
  • “There are some pretty reasonable accounts from his reign… One that actually describes there being tennis balls. One that says diplomats in Paris are saying, ah, we should send him tennis balls and pillows to rest his head on because he is so childish.” — Dan Jones [33:55]
• Discussion of medieval tennis: origins in France, play style (handball-like, glove instead of racket), settings (monastic cloisters, streets, later real tennis courts).

Tone & Style

Throughout the episode, Dan Jones maintains his signature blend of irreverent humor, vivid storytelling, and scholarly analysis, making the dramatic military history of Henry V accessible and entertaining. He skillfully interweaves contemporary references and personal anecdotes to illuminate the motivations and personalities behind seismic historical events, inviting listeners not only to learn but to reflect and debate.

For Next Time

The episode closes on a cliffhanger: Henry, ignoring his counselors’ pleas, prepares to push deeper into France with a weakened, disease-ridden army—driven as much by stubborn pride and insult as by tactical ambition. The stage is set for the legendary Battle of Agincourt.

Discussion Starter:
“What do you think are some of the worst presents in history? Extra points to those of you who can one up my Christmas shiitake sandwich.” — Dan Jones [33:15]

(Ad sections, Patreon shoutouts, and non-content promotions have been omitted for focus on core historical discussion.)