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Ryan Seacrest
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Blake Anderson
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Ryan Seacrest
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Adam Devine
PayPal lets you pay all your pals like your graduation gifters. Who's paying for the mattress topper?
Ders
You mean the beanbag chair?
Adam Devine
Aren't we getting a mini fridge?
Blake Anderson
Can we create a pool on PayPal?
Kyle
It lets us collect the money before we buy.
Adam Devine
Ooh, yes, that's smart. Glad we can agree on something easily. Pool split and Send Money with PayPal. Get started in the PayPal app, a PayPal account is required to send and receive money. A balance account is required to create a pool. I've never felt like this before. It's like you just get me. I feel like my true self with you.
Blake Anderson
Does that sound crazy?
Adam Devine
And it doesn't hurt that you're gorgeous. Okay, that's it. I'm taking you home with me. I mean, you can't find shoes this good just anywhere. Find a shoe for every you from brands you love like Birkenstock, Nike, Adidas and more at your DSW store or.
Kyle
Dsw.Com welcome to this Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's the most important bottom line, critical thing happening on this planet today on this Is Important.
Ders
I think this is my favorite episod we've ever done. I'm. I'm having a Great time.
Kyle
You. I won't do what you tell me.
Blake Anderson
Gobble, gobble, toil and trouble.
Kyle
Buckle up.
Ders
It dang, man, this sucks. I kind of really actually. And I hate to start it off this way. I hate to start off this way, guys. I have to poo poo. I do. That sucks.
Blake Anderson
So you want to stop the podcast or are we going to.
Ders
Oh, no, I'm going to fight. I'm going to grit my teeth and I'm going to fight through it, dude. But just know all the tii nation, this whole pod. I do have to poo poo.
Blake Anderson
This is all poopoo kaka.
Kyle
What a record. We just put.
Ders
Okay.
Kyle
Fastest mention of.
Blake Anderson
I need to shower. Apparently I'm looking like you guys were just kind of roasting me.
Kyle
Yeah, you look weird. Dude. I was saying you look like.
Blake Anderson
Oh, yeah, you guys were just roasting me, saying I look like Luka Donc.
Kyle
Mid game Austin Reeves. Like, scruffy beard, weirdly wet yet dry hair.
Ders
Yeah, I was saying Austin Reeves.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. I don't know what's happening. Yeah, it's not a good look.
Ders
Yeah, what's up with that? How come you got the little bangs hanging out the bottom of the snapback? That's a dude. I just put.
Blake Anderson
I put. I put my hat on. That's how they flopped. They could flop up. Should I readjust?
Ders
That's real Bieber core. You're going hardcore Justin Bieber.
Blake Anderson
I don't. That's not really what I was looking.
Kyle
Do you like how you look?
Blake Anderson
I don't.
Ders
Do you like the way you look?
Blake Anderson
I don't.
Kyle
What's the matter?
Ders
No, you're off of it.
Kyle
What do you want to look like?
Blake Anderson
Very sh. Psychedelic. Usually I don't like when I look in the mirror. I don't like it.
Ders
You usually.
Kyle
You don't like the way you look?
Blake Anderson
No, usually not.
Ders
No, usually really?
Blake Anderson
Oh, no.
Kyle
Get into it, dude.
Blake Anderson
It's mostly for me. I have body dysmorphia and I always look at myself even when I'm in great shape. I'm like, you're fat, ugly piece of. Dude, your boobs are huge. Rein it in. Get it together. And I never do. I never do.
Ders
That is true.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. I never do.
Ders
No, not that.
Kyle
As reined in as you've been rained in the last decade, I think you're more rained.
Blake Anderson
About as rained in as I. As I've been for the last few years. Yeah, but. But still. But still, I. You know, we started the podcast and it looked like this.
Ders
Hey, Adam. Be nice to my friend. Nice to my friend.
Blake Anderson
I will. Dude, should we say happy birthday to me?
Ders
That shit's important. Yeah, man. I'm kind of feeling it.
Blake Anderson
It was Blake's birthday yesterday.
Ders
Yeah, I'm kind of feeling it. I'm a little torchy. Have to poo poo.
Blake Anderson
Yes. So I expected you to come in looking real downtrodden.
Kyle
Worse than you.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, well, worse than me for sure. I did not even drink last night. I don't know.
Ders
Yeah, you're kind of worse.
Kyle
Is on inside.
Ders
Yeah, worst looking on the pot. Well, luckily, and they are a sponsor of the show, I popped one of these bad boys 5 hour energy, and it got me feeling good.
Kyle
When did you pop it?
Ders
About five hours ago. So it's my daddy. Might be ready for another one.
Kyle
So did you know what time you were scissor podcasting?
Ders
I did, but I needed it right out the gate.
Kyle
And you were like, I need energy right up until then.
Blake Anderson
Well, that was just to take care of his daughter. He needed a little boost.
Ders
Had to drive her to school.
Kyle
Sure.
Ders
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
Still drunk.
Ders
Has anybody ever made. And I hope I. Yeah, I hope I don't get as kicked off the project for this, but has anybody ever done a five Hour Energy? Hennessy?
Kyle
Like with Hennessy?
Ders
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
I mean, maybe that doesn't sound good. I bet it would be.
Kyle
Can you give me an Adam a few minutes?
Blake Anderson
It would be good mixed with like a soda and. And Red Bull and vodka.
Kyle
Mixed with a Red Bull.
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Ders
Mixed with. Here's my pitch.
Blake Anderson
Red Bull Vodka.
Kyle
Adam, you just. Adam yourself here.
Ders
I'm living in a nightmare.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, Red Bull Vodka, but you cut it with soda water.
Ders
Hour Energy.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, dude. Cuz you're trying to party all night, dude. You're trying to party online.
Ders
It look kind like a man.
Blake Anderson
And then you. And then you immediately look how I currently look and just sweaty the bangs one weird way. Weirdly red for no reason.
Ders
But you lose the. If it's not Hennessy, then you lose the five Hour Henergy. And that's like my branding I'm trying to brand here.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, you do like fun word play.
Ders
That is your.
Blake Anderson
Your thing. Yeah.
Ders
Yeah, that's my claim to fame. Better have my honey. You know, all that stuff.
Kyle
Yeah, I don't know if anyone's ever done that.
Blake Anderson
I'm sorry. I was bummed that I couldn't make it up to the. The friend's birthday party, dude.
Kyle
Yeah, it's a real banger.
Blake Anderson
But I am planning on crashing your family dinner.
Ders
Wait, you're coming to my family dinner tonight.
Blake Anderson
I am coming to your family.
Ders
Oh, my God.
Blake Anderson
We'll be there.
Ders
Okay. Okay. Well, that's cool. That'll be intimate.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, I already cleared. I already cleared it with Sam. It's all good.
Ders
Okay.
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Ders
Okay.
Blake Anderson
I'm not gonna sit right with you guys. I'm gonna sit kind of far away and wear sombreros. Send you guys.
Ders
Wait, what?
Blake Anderson
A lot of taquitos and Hennessy in five hour. Yeah.
Ders
Oh, another plate of taquitos from the man at the bar.
Blake Anderson
Just me tipping my hat towards you.
Kyle
Have we talked taquitos on this podcast?
Ders
Let's do it. Let's get into it. This is important, baby. What. What do you got to say about taquitos, my friend?
Kyle
I think that taquitos, they straddle a really interesting line where.
Ders
Okay.
Kyle
Oh, I'm never going to order them. Either you have diarrhea or you don't.
Ders
Sorry, go ahead.
Kyle
But when they're somewhere and I grab one, sometimes they're lifesavers, man. Sometimes I'm like, fuck, dude, I needed that taquito. Like on set when there's a fly around.
Ders
Oh, come on. There's a. There ain't nothing wrong with taquitos. I agree. I'm not one to order.
Kyle
Yeah, there is. They're really dry. They're really dry.
Ders
Yeah.
Kyle
You're not going to order them, but usually taquitos are dry. They're really kind of weirdly hard on the outside. Not crispy hard, like hardened.
Ders
Right.
Blake Anderson
I think you got a bad batch of.
Ders
Yeah, you had bad batch for, for 43 years.
Blake Anderson
Dude. I don't, I don't order taquitos, but I don't order shit like that.
Kyle
I. That's. I'm saying you might be thinking of. What does that even mean? You don't order shit?
Ders
Like, you might be thinking of flout?
Blake Anderson
Dude, I'm a. I'm a fajitas. I'm a fajitas all the way. And you guys know this about me?
Ders
Oh, yeah, we come sizzling.
Kyle
But what category are you thinking the taquitos are in? The shit, like that category. What else is in that category?
Ders
Flout.
Kyle
Is it in its own category? Because that's kind of cool.
Blake Anderson
Well, that's. That's a. That's like eating three hard shell tacos in one.
Kyle
Yeah, but it's not even as good as a hard shell taco.
Ders
Yeah, exactly.
Blake Anderson
That's right. So that's why I don't order them. But I'm saying.
Kyle
Well, because there's there's almost nothing inside of it.
Blake Anderson
Shut up.
Kyle
I know. And that's what I said. I don't order them, but when they fly around and I grab one, I'm like, that really hit the spot.
Ders
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
See, I like, we're talking to Hollywood stuff out the gate. We're talking fly arounds on set.
Kyle
Yeah, but if you go to a barbecue, you go to somebody's party and they got some taquitos.
Blake Anderson
Mm. They're flying around.
Kyle
Yeah, they're flying around. What was that?
Ders
What?
Kyle
I don't know. Soundboard just made a weird fart.
Ders
Did it?
Blake Anderson
I feel like Ders is chunking a little bit.
Ders
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, I feel like Ders is chunky.
Kyle
I guess when you're got a hundred thousand fans, sometimes you'd be chunky.
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Kyle
Subscribers, we can move on from shit like that, I guess. Isaac, what's on the list? What's next on the list? Sorry, I jumped the list with taquitos.
Ders
Isaac. Isaac has scripted our first episode. We're on script today. So he's.
Blake Anderson
He called me so excited. He called me about something else, but then he was. He was like, dude, today on the podcast, I'm going to do. I'm going to, like, write things down and put it in the chat of things that you guys can talk about. And I'm like, I think we've done like 400 episodes. I don't know if you have to, but yeah, okay. Yeah. Feel like you're doing anything punk rock, getting radical. He's like, yeah, I'm going to chime in with, like, a bunch of stuff. Like, have a whole list. That way you guys can just look at it. You could talk about if you want to. You don't have to. And I'm like, obviously, we don't have to. And then he only wrote the Oscars. That's the only thing on the list, dude.
Kyle
20 minutes ago, getting radical.
Blake Anderson
He had a whole fucking list.
Ders
And we appreciate it.
Blake Anderson
And then he just writes the Oscars. And by the way, we don't give a shit about the Oscars. Are we. Are we going to go in deep on the Oscars?
Kyle
And this episode comes out after everyone's talked about the.
Blake Anderson
The Oscars. The Oscars, dude.
Ders
Oscar, Oscar. Who gives a. I didn't watch them this year. I feel bad about that.
Kyle
Yeah. I was at your dinner.
Ders
Yeah. Well, thank you for showing up. I appreciate that Adam's gonna crash it tonight.
Blake Anderson
But I was not crashing. I cleared it with. I cleared it with your significant other.
Ders
Thank you. The streets the streets were quiet last night. There was nobody in la. They must have been at the Oscar parties. Not where I was because the streets were quiet.
Kyle
Yeah, you were on the east side. And everyone who matters in this town was in West Hollywood. Sorry.
Ders
Well, it didn't feel. It didn't feel great to not be invited to any Oscar parties, I will tell you that much.
Blake Anderson
Oh, you weren't.
Ders
What?
Blake Anderson
That sucks for you, were you?
Kyle
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
Dude.
Ders
What the hell?
Blake Anderson
Yeah. Sorry.
Ders
Which one?
Kyle
Hell yeah. That's where he was. He wasn't at the party.
Blake Anderson
The Elton John after party and the viewing party.
Ders
You got invited to the Elton John party?
Blake Anderson
Yeah, dude.
Ders
Yeah, man. And you went so pissed. Please tell me you went.
Blake Anderson
I did not go.
Ders
Why wouldn't you go to Elton John's party?
Blake Anderson
I was at home in Orange County. I can't. I could be up here.
Kyle
Yeah.
Ders
Oh, not even for Elton John. Make the fucking trip.
Blake Anderson
Not even for Elton John, dude.
Ders
Sir.
Blake Anderson
You know, I ran into. I saw Elton John at a Hamburger Hamlet one time. I was a good spotting.
Ders
What the hell?
Kyle
Yeah, he used to just hang out there because he lived in that apartment building across the street.
Blake Anderson
That's right. And it went straight.
Ders
Oh, okay. I like this. You guys are real Hollywood insiders.
Blake Anderson
Hollywood fat cats.
Ders
I can't believe you didn't go the Elton John party. I would do everything to go there.
Blake Anderson
You would go down on someone.
Ders
Yeah, I would. I would go down on. If you're at Elton John's party and starts to really turn up.
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Ders
And the. The. The five hour henergies are pouring.
Blake Anderson
Well, I've been before and I don't think anyone.
Kyle
Adam, let him finish this thought. Let him finish this thought, Adam.
Ders
Oh, if Sir. If sir. If Sir Elton John says, there's a way that I can make you a knight tonight. And all you have to do is fucking go down on me.
Kyle
He takes his dick and goes like this on your shoulders.
Ders
He puts the dick on each side and then right down the middle.
Kyle
I would do. I would let him do that to me. If it was filmed and like we could show it on the pod. Even if it didn't make me a night, I would love for him to go like this with his dick on my shoulders and then go, you've been knighted.
Blake Anderson
You would love that. You would love that.
Ders
Absolutely. I don't know if this is a rock legend and he's knighting you with his. Dude, that unreal. You're feeling the love tonight, baby.
Kyle
Not like alone at his house with no cameras on, but like, for the bit.
Ders
No, there's a circle of dudes around you. Yeah.
Blake Anderson
Okay. And what are the circle of dudes doing in this? They're just drinking. They got their dicks out too, are they?
Kyle
They're in and around you.
Ders
No, they're just watching with their hands in their pocket. Yeah. Okay, well, they're chanting, night him night.
Kyle
Their hands are in their pockets and they're in and around you. What? What is the big night in the pocket? Hands in the pocket Chance I've never seen. We've got to do this between the hands in pocket chant and the dick knighting night.
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Kyle
You know, someone's gonna steal it. SNL's gon.
Blake Anderson
Please don't destroy. Boys, we're going to have this bit next week.
Ders
Dude, I'm telling you, you should have gone to that party, dude. You missed out. It could have been really fun.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, I blew. I blew it. Yeah, those parties are usually very fun. I, I in, in fact, I pitched to Chloe that we go and she was like, you got a big week. It's the Gemstones premiere this week.
Ders
Oh, look forward to it.
Blake Anderson
So Wednesday night is the big bangarang.
Kyle
Isn't that a good reason to go? Yeah, to like, fold that in with all the press and whatnot.
Blake Anderson
No, no.
Ders
Still the flame. Nah, the Hollywood flame.
Blake Anderson
There's not much press. There's not much press at those parties. Yeah, you're not like, doing interviews. It's good. It's like just.
Kyle
No, no, but just to like, have, have your photos out there. Mingle. Yeah, I'm a tech avail.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, we just, you know, we chose not to go.
Ders
Hey, that's okay.
Blake Anderson
And it was a, it was an executive decision.
Ders
I wish you would have gave me your invite and I would have gone saying I was you.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, I wish that happened.
Kyle
And I just hung out with all your skater friends and stuff.
Blake Anderson
Those parties are fun. I think that was the time. I think it was after it was either the Golden Globes or the Oscars party that we went to. Blake, you went, you met up afterwards, and we went to the after, after party and we went and we were in the Chateau Marmont. And that is where I headlock Jude Law and Robert Pattinson.
Ders
I just want a party. Really. Way to go.
Blake Anderson
It was at the very end of.
Ders
That night, you, you took on the two strongest dudes for sure. Jude Law.
Blake Anderson
I don't even, I don't. It wasn't like a, it was like type of thing.
Ders
Oh, it was like an Irish kind.
Blake Anderson
Of chant sort of yeah, it was an Irish. I get real Irish. The drunkard.
Kyle
Hey, Adam Divine are.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, I'm looking Irish right now, dude. All red faced. Yeah, I'm looking some Irish as fuck.
Kyle
I'm drunk now, right? You fell asleep outside is what you just said. Am I chunking?
Ders
You're chunking, yeah, you're chunking, but you're all right. You're all right.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, I was sitting outside on the balcony and the sun was hitting just right and I just closed my eyes and I Woke up about 20 minutes later, maybe, maybe 30. And I had came inside and then it was time to podcast, so I'm gonna come.
Ders
That's what happened.
Blake Anderson
That's why I think I'm looking as red as I'm looking and kind of sweaty and looking like Austin Reeves slash Luka Don.
Kyle
Got a little sizzle. But I kind of want to know, was it 20 or was it 30?
Blake Anderson
Yeah, I don't know. There's no way to tell. I don't know exactly when those eyes.
Ders
How long was this nap, brother? Did you dream? Did you dream?
Blake Anderson
I.
Ders
No, no, no, no dream, no.
Kyle
Adam, have you ever had a dream?
Blake Anderson
My dreams, every time I start to go to sleep, they're wildly, they're wildly sexual. That's the only way I can fall asleep.
Ders
That shit's important. You have super sexy sexual dreams always.
Blake Anderson
To get to go to sleep. To go to sleep.
Ders
Oh, oh, okay. Yeah. Okay, well that's nice.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, that's nice. It's a good, it's a good headspace to be in.
Kyle
Do you ever like say. Do you have like a mantra you say before sleep to like get you into that mood? Like boner, blowjob, boner, blowjob. Do you ever say that to yourself?
Blake Anderson
Gobble, gobble, toil and trouble.
Ders
Yeah, something like that.
Kyle
Did you ever say something like that?
Blake Anderson
Yeah, yeah, I'm always saying, gobble, gobble, toil and trouble. Gobble, gobble, toil and trouble.
Ders
This is while you're in bed.
Kyle
I gotta see that.
Blake Anderson
Meanwhile. Meanwhile, Kyle. Chloe is like. I said Kyle, but I meant to say Chloe.
Kyle
Yeah, I kind of was like.
Blake Anderson
I did.
Ders
Chloe is like, wait, that's a crazy slip up, bro.
Kyle
Yeah.
Ders
You're sleeping with Kyle.
Blake Anderson
I did.
Ders
Is there some. Is there something happening?
Kyle
Should we.
Blake Anderson
No, dude, no. And he's not allowed to back up the podcast.
Ders
Yeah, dude, that's weird. Oh, he's not allowed. It's a bad breakup. I just want to know if it's just you and Kyle or if it's you. Kyle. And Chloe sleeping in bed.
Blake Anderson
Yes. Little threesome action. Hot threesome action. Yes, sir. Chloe's like, quit saying that on the podcast. What are you doing?
Kyle
Dude?
Blake Anderson
I love it. Gobble gobble, toilet travel.
Ders
Okay, what else is on the list? Isaac.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, Isaac, give us a list.
Ders
Yeah, he. He said Blake's birthday.
Kyle
We kind of covered that, which is Adam's in his dream.
Ders
So. No.
Blake Anderson
So what. What did you guys do?
Ders
You.
Blake Anderson
You. You really tied one on Blakey.
Ders
It was. My last two birthdays were totally like total burnt down, like went insane. But I think I'm still sort of like a little partied out from the super bowl that week in New Orleans. Just like, I just didn't have the gusto to charge.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, well, that was only a couple weeks ago. And we're getting older. We're in our now. To really bang it out. To really bang it out. That's a lot. That's a lot.
Kyle
What is this? The Isaac says the Coops.
Ders
Isaac saying the cops came to my. The coops came to my house at 3am they did not. That's. Oh, righty. Then I did get a text from my neighbors because I was listening to music very loudly at 3am last night.
Kyle
Last night.
Ders
But it wasn't. It. Yes, but it wasn't the police.
Kyle
What's your family doing when you're rocking out? Are you in the back house? Just dick out screaming, I'm 41.
Ders
I'm in the back house.
Kyle
Some 41. Come 41.
Ders
Some 41. Hey, hold on.
Blake Anderson
Yes points. So, but.
Ders
But it's.
Blake Anderson
If you're playing music really loud, that. And your neighbors are complaining. Your family. But you're rocking out in the back house. You're so loudly that your neighbors are texting you and complaining. What is your family doing? You have a 2 year old daughter, an 11 year old. That is over quite often. And then your girlfriend, what are they up to?
Kyle
They're probably rocking out.
Ders
The kids are heavy sleepers. Sam did text me.
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Ders
She did say, come on, man, turn it down. And I said, I responded. I looked this morning and I responded with, it's my birthday, so I'm in the doghouse. I am in the dog.
Kyle
That's high tea. That's high tea.
Ders
Yeah. I'm definitely in the doghouse.
Kyle
We might have to test this guy again.
Blake Anderson
We got to retest.
Ders
Remind me, remind me to apologize at.
Blake Anderson
The end because by the way, I never would say that. I would say I'm so sorry. Absolutely.
Ders
I came back with like, I'm not turning it down. I feel pretty bad you were turned.
Blake Anderson
Well, that's an insane move because I bet you, you do listen to music obscenely loud and at. I bet it was wild.
Ders
Dude, it was loud. Here's my saving grace.
Kyle
What did you tell the neighbor? Did you say, did you know it's my birthday?
Ders
No, I said, it's Oscar night. Bully.
Kyle
Fair enough. Very cool.
Ders
Step into the world of power, loyalty and luck. I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse. With fingers. Family, cannolis and spins mean everything.
Blake Anderson
Now you want to get mixed up.
Ders
In the family business. Introducing the godfather@champacasino.com test your luck in the shadowy world of the Godfather slots.
Blake Anderson
Someday I will call upon you to.
Ders
Do a service for me. Play the Godfather now@Champacasino.com Welcome to the family.
Blake Anderson
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Ders
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Blake Anderson
I don't know if you knew this.
Ders
But anyone can get the same premium.
Blake Anderson
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Ders
It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to do.
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Ryan Seacrest
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway with the Stock up sale at Safeway and Albertsons. Stock up and earn four times points at your local store when you purchase participating products. Save now on your favorite beverages, from Red Bull to Coke, Monster 7Up, body armor, and Pepsi. Clip the offer in the app for event savings and look for participating items throughout the store. Shop in store or online. Plus, you can even have your groceries delivered or use Drive up and go to have your groceries brought to your car at the store. Restrictions and exclusions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.
Blake Anderson
Atiba was telling me that you hid the. The power cord to your speaker.
Ders
Yes.
Blake Anderson
Because you get drunk and you play music super loudly and the neighbors complain. And he told me this like, a week ago.
Ders
Yes. I have a huge JBL party box that I love to play at a very unreasonable volume. And when I do have one of my nights, I tend to go back and. And crank it. The volume on the box. So I unplugged it and I hid the cord.
Kyle
Continue.
Ders
I unplugged it and I hid the cord. But.
Blake Anderson
So you hid the cord from yourself and thinking, like, my drunk self won't be able to find this.
Ders
No, no, no, no. It's not hiding it. It's like, I'm not gonna, like, make sure I go through it. It's like, yeah, there's many times when my brain could go like, this is stupid. But it was Oscar night. It was my birthday and your birthday, so I. But here's my saving grace. I was cranking freaking Steely Dan. So I wasn't like. Wasn't like, a total throwdown. It's just like, people are like, why is Steely Dan coming through my window.
Kyle
At 3am What's a steely Dan song?
Ders
Like, freaking Peg.
Kyle
Thank you.
Blake Anderson
You're playing Freaking peg.
Ders
Hey, 19.
Kyle
So. So you're in the back house cranking down de.
Ders
Hell, yeah.
Blake Anderson
What?
Ders
To yacht rock.
Blake Anderson
Basically, the. The. The steely dance song that you were playing at right now. Like, let's hear what was blasting through your Neighbor's windows at 3am I only.
Kyle
Know the one that goes.
Ders
Okay.
Blake Anderson
That Sam. That Sam was like, come on, man. What are you doing? Turn it down. And you were like, ready? My birthday. I want to listen to your song.
Kyle
Is the.
Blake Anderson
Dude.
Ders
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
Such a dab. Hey, I take it back. You gotta blast this one, dude.
Ders
Come on, bro. It's Oscar night. Come with me. 3am you didn't watch the Oscars Nor.
Blake Anderson
Do we care about.
Kyle
If you really listen. You can hear Chevy Chase on the drums.
Ders
It's 3am I'm cranking it. There you go. I'm cranking it, bro. Sorry, neighbor. Sorry. It's Oscar night. Let's go.
Kyle
And so that song on repeat?
Ders
Yeah, pretty much. Well, no, I went through the whole gamut.
Blake Anderson
I wonder if your neighbors. I know that the. The, like, everyone to your face loves you because you're like, oh, Blake, man, he's got the crate. Blake's crazy. You know, they say stuff like that. Ah, Blake's crazy. Look at that hair, right? Oh, man, he's crazy. I wonder if they secretly hate you, like, secretly, like, when they're in their house and they're, like, talking to each other.
Kyle
Oh, he parked his wrangler on my lawn last night. Oh.
Blake Anderson
Oh, here he is walking drunk again.
Kyle
Look at this ring footage.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, look at this ring footage of him stumbling into our bush alone.
Kyle
He's juggling a chainsaw in his head.
Ders
He spiked a bottle of beer on my driveway.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. Do you. Do you think they hate you?
Ders
No, dude, I'm a good neighbor. I'm a good neighbor. Okay. Other than last night, it's Oscar night, though, so.
Kyle
But you said they've texted you before.
Blake Anderson
Tebow told me that. That this has happened multiple times.
Ders
Look, it's only really special occasions, all right? Okay, really special. And I've. And I've hit the court since, and it's back in the drawer.
Kyle
What was the last occasion?
Ders
On, like, a 49er game.
Blake Anderson
But you know, this. You know the special occasion that. That Blake was drinking with his neighbor. Yeah. What? Last Tuesday, by the way, we pitched the next day. We went and picked the next day we had it. You were drinking with your neighbor, and then at 3am you sent Atiba a text of that speaker. And he goes, and the next morning, I had breakfast with Atiba. And he goes. Blake must have really tied one on last night. I guess he hid the. The power cord to this, and he must have dug it out at 3am.
Ders
I sent that picture because he knows the whole backstory. I didn't listen to music that night. I was joshing you guys.
Blake Anderson
That was a later. Oh, okay.
Ders
I was joshing, you guys. I wanted to send him on a wild goose chase. Oh, epic. Get. Dude.
Blake Anderson
We were fooled at breakfast. We were floo by that epic. I'm lol.
Ders
Shout out to JBL party box. That thing thumps.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, I would like one. Send us someone our way.
Kyle
Is that what it's Called the party box.
Ders
The party box, baby. It's off the chain.
Blake Anderson
That's a good gift. That's something that you would like to receive. But I don't know if I would ever go buy a party box.
Ders
Yes.
Blake Anderson
Because immediately you're like, I'm gonna play this too loudly.
Ders
It's the taquitos of speakers for sure.
Kyle
It's like, it's a electronics.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. Because you.
Kyle
You're, like, kind of firm on the outside.
Blake Anderson
It seems dumb. Just a box that lights up and, you know, seems stupid. But then you have one, someone gifted it to you as a birthday present or something, and then you're. Bet you're alone in your back house. 3:00am Steely Dan comes a calling. I get it.
Ryan Seacrest
I get it.
Ders
My guy. Hey. I mean, yeah, thank you. Thank you for seeing me.
Kyle
What's cool is you're like. Like, my daughter's a deep sleeper. But, like, how do you know that she wasn't awake the whole time?
Ders
Because if. If the girls were up, they would have come banging on the back door. Like, Sam would kick my ass.
Kyle
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
And has that happened?
Ders
No.
Blake Anderson
Okay. All right.
Ders
No. Come on, man. I'm a good neighbor. I'm a good dad.
Blake Anderson
I'm gonna have a lot of questions. I'm gonna have a lot of questions tonight at family dinner that I'm crushing.
Kyle
Thank you.
Ders
Please. Maybe you just lost your invite, man.
Kyle
And, Isaac, if you could add Adam. If you could add Adam's, like, interrogation to the list for next podcast, that'd be great.
Ders
Yeah. Oh, yeah, that'd be great.
Kyle
I'm gonna need a little five hour energy drink.
Ders
Hell, man, I got mine. Anything is possible. 5 hour energy.
Blake Anderson
Why do you. You. Why does it. Why is yours. Cooler packaging there, Ders?
Kyle
Me, I'm a fucking G like that, dude.
Ders
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
Seems like Blake has the classic and you. You have, like, the Baja Blast version.
Kyle
I had to go to the store. We needed it for a commercial, and then it didn't get to me somehow.
Blake Anderson
Right.
Kyle
So when I was at the hardware store the other day, I just grabbed some.
Ders
Oh, weird. You know, while we're. While we're talking. Talking about pod sponsors, we did get a box full of.
Kyle
Is this on the list?
Blake Anderson
No more list.
Ders
Well, Isaac should have put this on the list.
Kyle
Go ahead. Yeah, I feel weird about it, but go ahead. I'm sorry. Go ahead.
Ders
We did get a box of sex toys.
Kyle
Oh, yeah, I got them right here. Hang on. I got them right here.
Ders
Let's see him, brother.
Blake Anderson
What was. There were. I mean, they Were kind of strange, though. I mean, kind of. They're very strange.
Kyle
Hey, don't knock it till you try it.
Ders
Yes. There you go. Derek.
Blake Anderson
If that's anything like. It was. It was actually a factory. They sent it to me because.
Ders
Is that the one, brother?
Kyle
It's called the Trifecta. It's made by a company called.
Ders
Wait, what does it say? Masturbator. What?
Blake Anderson
Yeah, let's dig that one out.
Kyle
Masturbator. Take it out. Break.
Blake Anderson
The one that. The one that I got was a. Was a dildo. That.
Kyle
Okay, I'm a dude.
Blake Anderson
It wasn't just a regular dildo. You know, it was a dildo that you slide your dick inside of.
Ders
Go on.
Kyle
What? You normally.
Blake Anderson
This is the way. And you tie the back part around your balls.
Ders
Oh, my God.
Kyle
Wait, you stick your dick inside of it.
Ders
What?
Kyle
And then what?
Blake Anderson
And then the. The. The. There's like a. A back loop that you tuck your balls through. So it's harnessed on.
Kyle
Yeah.
Ders
Friendship.
Blake Anderson
Right. And then you, obviously, apparently. I mean, it's for guys with really small digs.
Kyle
Yeah. Because. What.
Blake Anderson
Okay, well, then it's for guys with really small dicks.
Ders
Hey.
Blake Anderson
And it was like. I'm a little offended that they sent that one to me.
Kyle
How big is the dick, though?
Blake Anderson
It's not even that big. It's seven and a half inches. It's not like a nine inch dick or anything. It was.
Ders
Okay, you. If.
Kyle
Yeah. If you're gonna do it, go nine.
Ders
And I'm doing quick math here.
Kyle
Right.
Ders
I just want to party.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. If you have the type of girl that wants you to put your dick inside of a bigger dick and fuck her with that. That dick has to be 9 inches long. She wants the hog. I told you, dude.
Kyle
So maybe it's.
Ders
Is it.
Kyle
Look, I'm gonna give this company the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they're just like, hey, it's thicker now. It's not about length. It's thicker.
Ders
Thicker.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. Yeah. Well, by the way, it would be. I mean, it was thick. It would be thick.
Kyle
Adam is drooling.
Ryan Seacrest
Okay, I'm gonna come.
Ders
He said it twice.
Kyle
He wants to read.
Ders
And the second time was very serious.
Kyle
I'm choking.
Ders
Are we talking like.
Blake Anderson
Well, dig out yours. Dig out yours. See? See if. If it's the same one that we got.
Ders
Jersey, open the pack. Dirt. Did he freeze?
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Ders
Oh, he's gone.
Blake Anderson
He's been struggling this whole podcast.
Ders
Look, he froze right on the dildo reveal.
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Ders
The worst time to freeze left us hanging. Oh, Wait, there he is.
Blake Anderson
There he is.
Ders
Wait a second. You're back.
Kyle
I'm sitting here going, well, I guess I'm chunking. Just a little chunk.
Blake Anderson
It was hard chunking. Do a dildo reveal for us. Let's bust yours open. Let's see.
Ders
Dude, can you do a dildo?
Blake Anderson
Let's see.
Kyle
It is it.
Ders
And, folks, this is how we get that plaque in back at dirt.
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Ders
This is how we get 100, 000 fans on YouTube. All right.
Blake Anderson
They're subscribers. They're not fans necessarily.
Ders
Okay, here we go.
Kyle
By the way. By the way, how great would it be if I was like, oh, that's weird. It's already open. Okay, break the seal.
Ders
Yeah. For some reason, he's like, miming package.
Kyle
See, I go. I go, hey, we're filming.
Ders
It's really, really stuck. Oh, it's got my hand. Okay, we'll do it live. What do we got, baby? Oh, this is. Oh, it's. It's well packaged. It's sealed, so.
Blake Anderson
Okay.
Kyle
It's like a big gummy bear.
Blake Anderson
Oh, dude, I got this. I got this one too.
Kyle
Oh, my God.
Blake Anderson
There's three holes. There's three different holes.
Kyle
So, Adam, you did break the seal.
Ders
Yes, sir.
Blake Anderson
I opened them all. I wanted to see what. What I was working with.
Kyle
Oh, there's. There's three different.
Blake Anderson
There's three different.
Ders
Oh, my God.
Kyle
There's, like, little remixes.
Ders
Look at that thing. It's like something from Indiana Jones.
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Ders
Holy.
Blake Anderson
See, the thing about. I don't like. I don't. I don't need all this when I'm. When I'm jerking off. I'm pretty good at just regular jerking off. That seems like a. Too much of a thing.
Kyle
You think so? Wow, dude.
Ders
You don't need it, but when you have it, it's a. It's a good session. It's a good session. Do not put that on your eye.
Kyle
It's like a kaleidoscope.
Blake Anderson
Would use it, Blake. I mean, you got one. Have you used it?
Ders
I have not used it, but I would. I would give it a. I'd give it a go.
Blake Anderson
Okay.
Ders
See what it's all about.
Blake Anderson
Well, next. Next podcast, we want to hear your review.
Kyle
If he got the invite to the.
Ders
Vanity Fair part, you want to hear.
Kyle
Me doing it on the list, Isaac?
Blake Anderson
No, I want to hear the review of how you felt post the Masturbator.
Ders
By whatever that company.
Blake Anderson
I love it.
Kyle
We see the other one.
Ders
That's cool. So wait, can you hit it from the front and the Back. What is that?
Kyle
That I guess you could, but then you don't know where your dick's going to go.
Ders
Or is your dick supposed to be like busting out the backside? That's cool, man.
Blake Anderson
I think if your dick is large enough to bust out the backside, that's what that's for. You won't have to worry about that.
Kyle
Wow.
Ders
Dude. Honestly. And I'm going to go on record. I think this is my favorite episode we've ever done. I'm having a great time. I don't know if it's the 3am steely. Damn.
Kyle
It's got to be the 5 hour.
Ders
Or if it's the. The 5 hour henergy. Woo.
Blake Anderson
Or it's the bud light. The probably three bud lights you've had so far.
Ders
Or the bud light. Right. Right to the right.
Kyle
Is this the one you got here? Glow job.
Ders
What is a glow job? Busted open.
Blake Anderson
I don't know. I don't know if I got that busted open, baby.
Ders
Let me just see if the seal.
Blake Anderson
Seals steel's already busted. That's kind of weird.
Ders
Weird. All righty then. Isaac, thank you for the list, man. Yeah, thank you for the list, brother.
Blake Anderson
Isaac's two things on the list were the Oscars and the coups. Came to house at 3am what's really.
Ders
Cool about the coops?
Kyle
This just looks like the same thing.
Ders
Is it. So you're not going to open it?
Kyle
Not exactly the same, but like a. A thing you. Yeah, but it's got a mouth on it.
Ders
Well, what did you think it was going to be?
Kyle
I don't know. One of those cool dicks.
Blake Anderson
Well, remember. Remember when we used to get all the fleshlights?
Ders
Yeah, that was rad.
Kyle
Those are not cheap.
Blake Anderson
No, I didn't like them. I tried it once. It was not for me.
Ders
I'm not into the whole production reus stuff. That's weird, man. They're not weird if that's your thing. Whatever.
Kyle
Blake likes a relationship with his torch.
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Ders
Nah. See when once you have to like put it in. In the dishwasher or whatever, that's when it starts to. It gets a little too heck.
Blake Anderson
Well I. I was given so many of them and so I. You know, they're expensive so I didn't want to throw them away. I kept a bunch of them and they're just in like a. A tub. Like big tub that I have. And when I first started to date Chloe, she was like, oh, there we go. She was looking through. Through stuff like organizing my house for me and she Just found like a tub of things to. She thought I was like a secret undercover freak. And they were the weird ones that were like, alien. Do you remember those that were like green and purple?
Kyle
Oh, yeah.
Ders
Those things are now, see.
Kyle
Yeah.
Ders
That I might.
Kyle
Weird.
Ders
I might break code for that. That I. That I would just have as a decoration. That thing is cool enough just to kind of have on the dining table as a centerpiece. Sure.
Kyle
Some roses coming out of it.
Blake Anderson
Sam's gonna text you. Come on, man.
Ders
Dude, I'm done. This might be it.
Blake Anderson
I'm done. Dude.
Ders
I might live in the back house. I might not be allowed back in. I blew it, brother.
Kyle
So we don't even know what company this is. That's kind of the bummer.
Ders
It's Isaac. Isaac made them.
Kyle
Oh, pure. Pure romance.
Blake Anderson
Okay, sorry.
Kyle
Hey, I'm not like. I just need that a little bigger so that. I know.
Blake Anderson
Loose butthole.
Ders
Dude, that's the question about Virginia. That's the thing about pure romance is it's not about them. It's about you. And that's what I really love about the company. They don't stamp it everywhere.
Kyle
Hey, fair enough, fair enough.
Ders
They're just really about your satisfaction.
Kyle
Just reseal this.
Ders
That's weird.
Kyle
Yeah, it is nice that I opened it for the podcast so that if it's found and it's open and anyone asks why it's open, I go, hey, I'm putting food on the table.
Blake Anderson
Okay, for the podcast? Yes, for the podcast.
Kyle
What do you want me to do? Yeah, I'd open it for the podcast. I have dinner.
Ders
It's work. I didn't use the thing.
Kyle
That being said.
Blake Anderson
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Ders
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Kyle
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Ryan Seacrest
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway with the Stock up sale at Safeway and Albertsons. Stock up and earn four times points at your local store when you purchase participating products. Save now on your favorite beverages from Red Bull to Coke, Monster 7Up body armor and Pepsi. Clip the offer in the app for event savings and look for participating items throughout the store. Shop in store or online. Plus plus you can even have your groceries delivered or use drive up and go to have your groceries brought to your car at the store. Restrictions and exclusions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details. Ryan Seacrest here. When you have a busy schedule, it's important to maximize your downtime. One of the best ways to do that is by going to chumbacasino.com Chumba Casino has all your favorite social casino games like spin slots, bingo and solitaire that you can play for free for a chance to redeem some serious prizes. So hop on to chumbacasino.com now and live the Chumba life. Sponsored by Chumba Casino.
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Blake Anderson
So made it on TMZ from when they remember the last podcast, right? Naked Grandma where the the cop fell. They're saying 20ft. TMZ's reporting fell down a 20 foot embankment. It's not 20ft.
Ders
Yeah, dude, it was.
Blake Anderson
It was eight feet, but still it was a solid fall.
Kyle
I don't want to fall 8ft.
Ders
That footage is so funny in a bad way.
Blake Anderson
But you know the crazy part? The footage didn't make it on tmz. Oh, at least that's I haven't seen it. I think it was just for whatever reason, just the an article about it and it wasn't. I didn't see any actual footage so I thought my neighbor ratted me out, sent the footage. So what happened was the cop was trying to he climbed up the side of my house and then one cop went inside to check to see if there was. So what happened was the alarm was going off, the cops were checking the perimeter. They climbed up to check the door. The door was unlocked. Cop called me at the very end of the last podcast and was like, hey, I'm gonna walk through your house if that's okay, see if there's anyone hiding in the house. I'm like, yeah, absolutely. But. And so he goes I was like, don't check the upstairs closet. You're gonna find a bunch of alien alien pods.
Ders
Don't Worry about that.
Blake Anderson
Don't worry about that.
Ders
Don't wake up my friend Kyle in bed.
Kyle
The cops like. Like those are gone. They took them.
Blake Anderson
And then a few days later, a few days later, my publicist emails me and say, says, hey, TMZ is going to run a article about the cop falling at your house. And I'm like, what? And then my neighbor sent me a video that I showed you guys of the cop falling off of. He. One cop tried to. To scale back down where he climbed up and straight up ate on a solid like 8 to 10ft drop. And yeah, his gun went flying, his baton went flying, and he. Guess he fully broke his arm. He had to go to the hospital. Poor guy.
Kyle
Perfect. Blake, why is. Why is he climbing up there?
Blake Anderson
Well, I'm happy they did because the door was unlocked and that is where someone broke in a couple weeks prior.
Kyle
But like, I guess I'm like, do they have to climb up there? Like if someone broke into the second, third story window of a house, like, do they have to climb the house?
Blake Anderson
I guess I. Yeah, you know what? I guess cops are doing all kinds of cool dope that we don't even know about.
Kyle
But this is what happened.
Ders
He was going above and beyond.
Blake Anderson
Well, he could have. The crazy part is they could have just locked the door, walked through the house, came out the garage, closed it behind them. I don't know why he tried to scale back down. That was him just going like, I can get. I came up. I can go back down.
Kyle
Down, right. Going down. Always harder.
Ders
Oops. Winning.
Kyle
Always harder.
Blake Anderson
It is, it.
Ders
It is.
Blake Anderson
And. And he slipped and fell, like, you.
Kyle
Know, about going down.
Blake Anderson
I felt bad for the poor guy. It sucks because you don't want the cops to hate you and your house, right? You know?
Ders
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They might be over you. That's why we can't really post the foot. The funny footage.
Blake Anderson
No, we're not post.
Ders
Kind of. But it's kind of humiliating.
Blake Anderson
Oh, yeah.
Kyle
So here's my question. If he gets in the house and he finds the guy or woman.
Ders
The guy. They rob houses too.
Kyle
And he shoots the titties off this person in your house.
Ders
Yeah.
Kyle
Are you moving if there's just titty all over the wall, you out.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. I feel if a cop shot the titties off a person in the home, after everything that's been happening, I feel like we gotta get. We gotta sell the house. Chloe would not allow. Well, one, she would just never come.
Kyle
Here because imagine they clean. They do a deep clean I don't.
Blake Anderson
Think they do a deep clean six.
Kyle
Months later, but I'm just saying. Let's say you get one done. Six months later, an earthquake, okay. It kind of shakes one of your, like, lamps that are hanging, right. And from on top of the lamp, a shriveled up, dry, full nipple.
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Kyle
Falls down.
Blake Anderson
That would suck.
Kyle
Your child eats it.
Ders
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
No, sir, I don't like it, cuz.
Ders
Bo. Yeah.
Blake Anderson
His favorite food is beef jerky, so.
Ders
Oh, way to raise him, right.
Kyle
Really long, really thick, really?
Ders
Hell yeah.
Blake Anderson
Tough.
Ders
That a boy. That a boy.
Blake Anderson
He's a jerky boy. Out the gate, dude.
Ders
Hell yeah.
Kyle
Oh, he's got his shoes in his glasses.
Ders
Hell yeah.
Kyle
Five, five, five, six, seven, eight. Five.
Ders
I love that.
Blake Anderson
You're a monster.
Kyle
Nobody knows what junkie boys are.
Blake Anderson
So, yeah. No, that would. That would suck. So, yeah, I for sure would have to move. Move. And I don't want to damn well.
Ders
You know, shout out to that guy. He tried to make something look cool, and then he ended up taking a bit of a nose dive, but.
Kyle
Right.
Blake Anderson
I don't even know if he was trying to make it look cool.
Kyle
Yeah. Go through and open the front door.
Ders
I have a feeling he's like, yo, check this out. I'm gonna fucking, like, do a karate flip off the side of the.
Kyle
It was a whoop. Wap. That was like a total kook slam.
Blake Anderson
It was a whoop.
Ders
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
And when he gets up, you see his arm is, like, all bent and you're like. Like, oh, that's.
Ders
That's broken.
Blake Anderson
Ouch. And then his. His homie, the other cop, was like, oh, my God, are you okay?
Ders
You okay?
Blake Anderson
And he doesn't answer.
Ders
He's just, like, walks. He just walks off, shocked. Pull back. It's embarrassing.
Blake Anderson
You know you're really hurt when you don't answer. Yeah. When you don't even say, like, I'm good. Like, if you can say I'm good, you do this.
Kyle
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
You're just. Yeah.
Ders
You don't even have to be good. Just say, I'm good. But if you're that hurt that you don't.
Blake Anderson
If you're that hurt, you say nothing.
Ders
Nothing. You just. Yeah.
Blake Anderson
You walk off. You're in your own world of pain.
Kyle
Right. And. And guys know. Let him go.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, let him go.
Kyle
Let him walk this one off.
Ders
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
The crazy part is the gun fell. The gun is laying in the street.
Kyle
That's classic.
Blake Anderson
There was no rush to pick up the gun. It was the guns just laying there. Imagine if the gun were to go off.
Kyle
Goodbye.
Blake Anderson
And it shoots a bird. If. If the gun went off and then.
Ders
Shoots the tits off your neighbor, it.
Blake Anderson
Shuts the tits off my neighbor. Or the gun goes off. It shoots in the air. You're like, whoa, that's crazy. And then. Enter frame. Just a bird falls.
Kyle
Right. A rare condo.
Ders
You would have the most viral video of all time.
Blake Anderson
But I can't release it, dude. I couldn't release it.
Ders
I know. Damn it.
Kyle
Alternatively, it shoots a. Into a dry bush, and that hot bullet just sits there. Burns down Hollywood.
Blake Anderson
Sizzling. Yeah. Oh, burn the new sunset fires.
Ders
Not again.
Blake Anderson
Don't like it. No, sir. I don't like it.
Ders
Adam started him.
Kyle
Adam might have started them.
Ders
Let's go to Isaac's list real quick.
Blake Anderson
Please consult the list.
Ders
I like this. Isaac. It's kind of fun.
Kyle
Isaac, what is it? No more list.
Blake Anderson
He says no more list.
Ders
Why? I like it.
Blake Anderson
Cool. He's. His feelings were hurt.
Kyle
I'll talk about something. Blazer, you're just living my dreams, man. These New Balances commercial. These New Balance commercials, very cool, right?
Ders
Yeah. Liking them.
Blake Anderson
Very cool.
Kyle
Yeah. They're sick.
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Ders
I'm hoping I get the. The purple pair that just dropped, because those are tight.
Blake Anderson
Well, what do you mean? You have to, right? What do you. You did the commercial. They got to send you the damn shoes.
Ders
I don't have to. I hope so.
Kyle
He's a man of honor.
Blake Anderson
I think they have to.
Kyle
He should be united.
Blake Anderson
I think, contractually, you should have had that in your contract, that you get a pair of the damn shoes. Did you get paid money for this commercial, Blake?
Kyle
And do you want to explain what.
Ders
It is or what I did. I did get paid money.
Blake Anderson
Okay, good, good, good, good. What is it because you do stuff for free that I'm like, what are you doing? You get paid for this?
Kyle
The first three seasons of Workaholics, it was serving taquitos.
Ders
Yeah, it's just. Just a little Instagram campaign for New Balance.
Kyle
Yeah.
Ders
Right.
Blake Anderson
That's tight. The footage was pretty cool.
Ders
They did a good job with it. Yeah, I was. They had. Because I'm, like, skydiving in a squirrel suit and the whole thing, but I was up on, like, a rig all day, dude. It was like. Like on some Iron man, bro. I felt like Robert Downey Jr. Usually with, like, the.
Kyle
The hair. Your. Any long hair, and like, a green screen situation. It looks whack, but it looks good.
Ders
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Blake Anderson
They did a good job with it.
Ders
It's starting to be these green screens. They're getting really good. Getting really good with this stuff.
Kyle
Remember blue screens? They were blue. They used to be blue.
Ders
They did. They really did.
Blake Anderson
I was surprised it looked as good because we did a thing in the Outlaws where we're skydiving and Pierce Brosnan is strapped to my back. And it looks remarkably bad. So bad that I. At one point, I was like, do we cut this? And we didn't. They're like, no, it'll. It'll end up looking better. It'll end up looking better. And it just did not.
Ders
Oh, I'm gonna have to go back and watch that scene again. But you don't remember it jumping out at me.
Kyle
I think I remember what Adam's talking about.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. It just. It wasn't the best.
Kyle
It seemed unfortunate at the moment.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, it wasn't the best. And you know what?
Ders
It was.
Blake Anderson
I think we should have hung up there a little longer to maybe get some alternate angles, because we went up there, and I think Pierce hated it so much that he was like, we got it. We got it.
Ders
Oh, it sucks. It's not fun.
Blake Anderson
We were like, yeah, yep, we got it. Do we get it? We didn't get it.
Kyle
Pierce under the bus.
Ders
It's a whole core workout that, like, I was sore.
Kyle
So Pierce has no core is what we're saying.
Blake Anderson
I would never say, well, he's 70 or horrible.
Kyle
Okay.
Ders
Looks good, dude.
Blake Anderson
I had to. I did the same thing for Gemstones this season. We're in, like, jet packs for.
Kyle
Oh, yeah.
Blake Anderson
Some episodes. So they. They premiere. Will be out by the time this is out. So we're in jetpacks and, dude, we're in jet packs for several days of. Yeah. And it's just us and rigs hanging with these. Like, I think there were £70. So you're. When you land, you're just holding up 70 pounds, dude. The spasms that I was having having from being in that tight ass ass. You know, the tight ass gear that you have to wear underneath. Yeah. Were crazy. It looked like an alien was inside of my body or like a baby was. Was trying to smash through.
Kyle
Oh. Because it was like a little shake. Like a. Like a horse muscle shaking.
Blake Anderson
Yes, exactly. And it was just.
Kyle
But it was like, dude, I would pay to see that on you, dude.
Blake Anderson
Show you.
Ders
No matter how they, like, hang you, it always crushes your nuts, though. It feels like it's always riding right up in my groin when they harness.
Blake Anderson
You gotta tighten it down, baby. You gotta tighten it down, dude.
Ders
I was tight. The other thing is Is I was in like a squirrel suit, but I had an actual. A real parachute on my back. Those are heavy, dude.
Kyle
To you?
Ders
Yeah, they're heavy. I think they're somewhere like £60 or something. Wild. Yeah.
Blake Anderson
So 10, 10 less than my thing. Okay.
Ders
Actually, now that I think about it, maybe it was.
Kyle
No spasms for you, Blake.
Ders
No, I was actually now that's that I. Now that I think about it, I was. I was gt.
Kyle
You had a little stanky leg.
Ders
Yeah, I was just hitting the wobbles. I was hitting the wobbles a little bit.
Kyle
I'm so proud of you guys, you know.
Ders
Thanks, man.
Kyle
Putting these things on your backs. Cool.
Blake Anderson
Well, wait, Blake, you never got into. What did you do after dinner for your birthday? Then you went out. Where did you guys go?
Kyle
You know?
Ders
Well, we went to none other than the best.
Blake Anderson
The Cha Cha.
Ders
Best bar in the world, the Cha Cha Lounge. They were playing some sick ass punk.
Kyle
Dude, did you feel the earthquake?
Ders
I didn't. I mean, if I did, I didn't feel it either.
Kyle
I walked outside and Akka was like, there was an earthquake.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. People said I didn't feel anything down south.
Ders
Well, the coolest thing about the whole night we buried the lead is I was co birthing with Zach De La Roca.
Kyle
Yeah.
Ders
Rage against the Machine, lead singer. He's the fucking coolest dude. He's a straight up nice guy, great dude.
Kyle
Well, you say that, but at dinner.
Ders
I go, did he kick you under the table?
Kyle
I go, hey, pass me those french fries. And he goes, fuck you. I won't do what you tell me.
Blake Anderson
And I was like putting himself.
Kyle
I was like, please pass him. And he says it again. Fuck you.
Ders
Kept saying it.
Kyle
And I'm like, this is kind of catchy.
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Ders
He's like, I'm about to rally around your family with a fucking pocket full of shell.
Kyle
Yeah, he did say that.
Ders
That dude, it was crazy cuz he just wanted to play foosball. That was like. The whole thing is like, we're going to play foosball tonight. And why I was on his team.
Blake Anderson
Is he a good foosball player?
Ders
Dude, he's. He's. He was rocky at first, but towards the end of night he found it again and he really good.
Blake Anderson
Do you think he's better than me?
Ders
I haven't seen you play in a while. He has a crazy shot, dude. Like, it comes off hot. He's one of those dudes that knows how to like, like, you know, like roll it up your wrist so it gets like Hella speed behind it. I'm a straight. Just torque boy.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, you're not. You're not very good. No crank.
Ders
I'm definitely the worst of the four guys I was playing with, but I was holding my own. Me and Zach got a dub, though.
Kyle
Nudes too legit to quit.
Blake Anderson
Oh, nudes. Unreal.
Ders
Yeah, Nudes. Nude is the real deal.
Kyle
He was telling me he grew up in a pool hall, and I was.
Ders
Like, yeah, in Oklahoma.
Kyle
Next level.
Ders
Yeah. So tight. Imagine growing up in a pool hall.
Kyle
That's a lifestyle.
Blake Anderson
So that.
Ders
So that's.
Blake Anderson
So you're good. So he's good at every bargain.
Kyle
When you're seven, you have to be.
Ders
Yeah. That's why he can shred a skateboard. He's just hella good at pool.
Kyle
That's why he can shred a skateboard. It's because he grew up in a pool hall.
Ders
Yeah, he grew up the coolest guy ever.
Kyle
Okay, fair enough.
Blake Anderson
I guess if you grow up in a pool hall, your parents don't care if you're out skateboarding. They're not worried about you getting hurt.
Ders
You know, dude, he rolls the best joints.
Blake Anderson
You're smoking parliam and drinking Bud Ices when you're like seven years old.
Ders
Yeah.
Kyle
Yep. And there's no other scenario.
Ders
He's the coolest guy. Yeah. Honestly, now that I think about it, between N and Zach.
Blake Anderson
Did you go to the Cha Cha's? Well, Ders or you. You went home?
Ders
Yeah. D pulled up. D pulled up. I like it, dude.
Kyle
I went out.
Ders
No, it was cool. We missed you, brother.
Kyle
Out by 10:30.
Blake Anderson
Nice.
Ders
Yeah, you. You dipped quick, but that was understandable.
Kyle
I'm sick. Sick. I went. I. I'm like. I don't know if you can hear me coughing every five seconds, but.
Ders
Oh, maybe that's why I feel.
Kyle
I'm feeling good. And the beard.
Ders
This is the way.
Kyle
Beer didn't help, which was fucking weird.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, that is weird. Usually when you're drunk getting. Or when you're sick, getting drunk really.
Ders
Helps drunk right now. Osmosis Jones.
Kyle
What are you gonna do?
Ders
Well, it was a blast.
Kyle
It was a good time.
Blake Anderson
Is there any takebacks, any apologies, any epic slams?
Ders
I would love to take back my 3am Steely Dan last night. I want to apologize to any of my neighbors who do listen to the pod. It was me. The sounds were coming from my house. Yeah. And I apologize, but it. It was Hollywood. It was Hollywood.
Blake Anderson
They talk. They talk behind your back. They talk.
Ders
It was Hollywood's biggest night. It Was the Oscars. It won't happen again. Don't worry.
Kyle
I hope Blake is like, the topic of discussion. You know how, like, sometimes you see your neighbor and it's like, whether it's like, oh, the new mailman or whatever, they discuss him. That's how they connect.
Ders
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Ders
Hey. So I bring the block together.
Kyle
Fair enough.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. You're like the guy at work that no one likes, so that it kind of. It makes all the other employees sort of rally around. Like, you become friends with people you probably wouldn't be friends with just because you have a communal hate towards one person.
Kyle
What was the Rage Against Machine lyric? You almost just said rally around the family.
Ders
Friendship.
Kyle
Railing around the family. Yeah.
Blake Anderson
The pocket full of shells.
Ders
Legendary.
Kyle
I'm gonna take back that little segue.
Ders
Also special, shout out to Rage against the Machine. One of the most sickest bands of all time. Super formative.
Blake Anderson
They're one of my favorite bands. They rip.
Ders
Oh, they're the best.
Kyle
Like, that was it their first album. I don't know. Sometimes, like, people are like, it's not the first album. The first album was the one with the dude on fire. The famous picture of the dude.
Blake Anderson
That's the first one came out the gate. Hot.
Kyle
That album is unreal. And as a 12 year old with that as your album cover, dude, you got questions. You're like, what is this?
Ders
That was like, one of the albums I don't think I was allowed to get purely off, like, the violence of the COVID My mom's like, I don't think you can have this one.
Kyle
Yeah, it was a protest.
Ders
It's cool.
Kyle
I mean, I understand where she's coming from. It's gory, but, like, it's. It's a statement.
Ders
Hell, yeah.
Kyle
It's not like, just somebody chopping somebody's head off.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. I don't think I had that one until high school. I think when I was in middle school, that was a N for. For my mama.
Kyle
Yeah.
Ders
As soon as I was a legal age, I bought every rage.
Blake Anderson
And then also, fuck you. I don't do what you tell me. That anthem. I feel like my mom was like, we're not gonna listen to this one.
Kyle
Hey. Heard you jamming in the shower.
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Kyle
How about I take the tape? That's how old I am.
Ders
This is the way. Evil Empire. Also. Great album. They're all great.
Kyle
Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah, they don't fuck around, but just. I think it's like an opening baseline on that. That first album that you're just Like. Like immediately in. I could be wrong.
Ders
The base is great.
Blake Anderson
I feel like to take us out of this pod. You got to play some rage there, Blake.
Ders
Yeah, I guess you're right. I will. I will. I was going to queue up Steely D, but. You're right.
Blake Anderson
Well, Blake, I would like to apologize for not being able to make it up last night. I am going to buy you taquitos. I'm bringing Bo so your family will get to see Bo.
Ders
Okay. I love that we've got a family friendly dinner.
Blake Anderson
Family friendly. And like I said, I don't have to sit near you guys. I could sit far away, you know? I know.
Ders
I.
Blake Anderson
You're. He prefers your family hates me, so I don't want to get too close.
Ders
Oh, come on. Come say hi. Come touch table.
Kyle
I'm going to say this once. Careful with those fajitas near the newborn.
Ders
Okay, That's a good. That's a good call. They'd be sizzling. They'd be really jumping out the plate.
Blake Anderson
Oh, that is. That is true. Yeah, that's true.
Kyle
Careful. Please be careful.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, that is so true.
Ders
I look forward to seeing you tonight.
Blake Anderson
That's going to be fun in like 45 minutes. Yeah.
Ders
Oh, yeah. We got to go.
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Kyle
Yeah.
Ders
Holy shit.
Blake Anderson
Oh, my.
Kyle
Okay, the song.
Ders
Oh, my God. I. We. We gotta say that. That this is important thing and then I'll play well.
Blake Anderson
Yes. And boys, I think this was another episode of this is important. Oh, dude, I can lift weights way heavier than normal when this song is on Here.
Ders
This is my foosball partner.
Kyle
Yeah, little bas lick.
Blake Anderson
Now, do you put this song on when you're playing foosball with him?
Ders
No, we were this song play at all.
Kyle
He was actually singing it the whole time?
Ders
No, they were playing lots of Cha cha rules. The DJs always rock. There was lots of deep cut punk rock. The dude was killing it. I meant to tell him he did a great job, you know.
Blake Anderson
That's my steez right there.
Ders
Yeah, that was. That was lit.
Kyle
Deep cut punk. Punk rock.
Ders
Punk rock. Thanks for the list, Isaac. Honestly, it was nice. Let's just. Punk rock.
Blake Anderson
Okay, everyone. All right, we're done.
Ders
Bye. All right.
Blake Anderson
Bye, guys.
Ders
Bye, guys.
Ryan Seacrest
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway with the stock up sale at Safeway and Albertsons. Stock up and earn four times points at your local store when you purchase participating products. Save now on your favorite beverages from Red Bull to Coke, Monster 7Up body armor and Pepsi Clip the offer in the app for event savings and look for participating items throughout the store. Shop in store or online. Plus you can even have your groceries delivered or use. Drive up and go to have your groceries brought to your car at the store. Restrictions and exclusions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details. It is Ryan Seacrest here. There was a recent social media trend which consisted of flying on a plane with no music, no movies, no entertainment. But a better trend would be going to chumbacasino.com it's like having a mini social casino in your pocket. Chumba casino has over 100 online casino style games all absolutely free. It's the most fun you can have online and on a plane. So grab your free welcome bonus now@chumbacasino.com sponsored by Chumba Casino.
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Ders
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Blake Anderson
Licensed as a money transmitter by the New York State Department of Financial Services.
Podcast Summary: This Is Important – Ep 239: Blake Anderson: Loudest Neighbor
Release Date: March 11, 2025
Host/Author: iHeartPodcasts
Description: Adam Devine, Anders Holm, Blake Anderson, and Kyle Newacheck seriously discuss some very important topics.
The episode begins with the hosts warmly welcoming listeners to "This Is Important," emphasizing their focus on discussing the most critical matters happening globally. Ders expresses his enthusiasm, stating, “I think this is my favorite episode we've ever done. I'm having a great time” ([02:19]).
Adam Devine introduces a practical topic by highlighting PayPal's capability to create pools for collective spending. He jokes about using PayPal to manage expenses for shared purchases like a mattress topper or a mini fridge. Ders humorously retorts, “You mean the beanbag chair?” ([01:07]), leading to a consensus on the usefulness of pooling funds.
Blake Anderson adds, “Does that sound crazy?” ([01:39]), to which Adam replies, “I've never felt like this before. It's like you just get me” ([01:35]). The conversation underscores the ease of coordinating group expenses using modern financial tools, blending practicality with their signature humor.
The hosts segue into discussing Blake Anderson's recent birthday. Ders shares his experience of celebrating while managing personal mishaps, including needing to "poo poo” ([02:40]). Blake quips, “This is all poopoo kaka” ([03:02]), reflecting the group's ability to infuse humor into everyday situations.
As the conversation unfolds, Blake reveals his struggles with body dysmorphia, admitting, “It's mostly for me. I have body dysmorphia and I always look at myself even when I'm in great shape” ([04:01]). The candid discussion highlights the importance of mental health and self-perception, providing depth to the otherwise light-hearted banter.
A spirited debate ensues over the quality and appeal of taquitos. Kyle remarks, “They're really dry. They're really dry” ([07:58]), criticizing their texture and taste. Ders counters, “There ain't nothing wrong with taquitos. I agree. I'm not one to order” ([07:58]), defending their presence despite personal preferences.
Blake adds to the discourse, “I think you got a bad batch of” ([08:12]), humorously attributing flavor issues to production inconsistencies. The debate showcases the group's dynamic interaction and ability to turn a simple topic into engaging discussion.
The focus shifts to the Oscars, with Ders expressing indifference: “Oscar, Oscar. Who gives a” ([10:43]). The hosts discuss the social dynamics surrounding Hollywood parties, debating attendance and the allure of exclusive gatherings. Blake shares, “I did not go” ([11:40]), lamenting missed opportunities to mingle at high-profile events.
A particularly memorable segment involves a story about a local cop who fell while investigating Ders's home during the Oscars night:
“The cop was trying to scale back down and slipped, falling about eight feet. His gun went flying, his baton went flying, and he fully broke his arm” ([42:43]).
This anecdote blends humor with unexpected drama, illustrating the unpredictable nature of neighborhood interactions. The hosts humorously speculate on the aftermath, imagining scenarios where the incident could lead to viral fame or further complications.
Ders discusses efforts to manage noise levels to prevent neighbor complaints, sharing his tactic of hiding the power cord to his speaker:
“I unplugged it and I hid the cord. But it wasn't like, I'm not gonna make sure I go through it” ([24:13]).
Blake empathizes, saying, “I’m telling you, you should have gone to that party, dude. You missed out” ([14:16]), blending concern with comedic teasing.
The conversation delves into the challenges of maintaining peace while enjoying loud music, especially during special occasions like the Oscars. They joke about using Steely Dan to mask noise, with Blake humorously reflecting on his appearance post-party: “I think I'm looking as red as I'm looking and kind of sweaty” ([16:39]).
While advertisements and sponsorships are interspersed throughout the episode, the hosts occasionally reference sponsored products within their discussions. Notably, Ders mentions, “I popped one of these bad boys 5-hour energy, and it got me feeling good” ([05:08]), integrating sponsor products into the natural flow of conversation.
As the episode winds down, the hosts continue their humorous interactions, discussing various personal stories and mishaps. They explore topics ranging from sex toys to sponsorships, maintaining a balance between humor and candidness.
Ders reflects on the night's events, apologizing to neighbors for the noise caused by his celebratory activities: “I want to apologize to any of my neighbors who do listen to the pod” ([57:14]). The episode concludes with light-hearted remarks and plans for upcoming events, encapsulating the camaraderie and playful dynamic of the group.
Ders: “I think this is my favorite episode we've ever done. I'm having a great time” ([02:19]).
Adam: “I've never felt like this before. It's like you just get me” ([01:35]).
Blake: “Does that sound crazy?” ([01:39]).
Ders: “There ain't nothing wrong with taquitos. I agree. I'm not one to order” ([07:58]).
Ders: “I want to apologize to any of my neighbors who do listen to the pod” ([57:14]).
Friendship and Support: The hosts demonstrate strong camaraderie, supporting each other through personal challenges like body dysmorphia and neighborhood disputes.
Humor in Everyday Life: The episode effectively uses humor to discuss mundane topics, making the conversation engaging and relatable.
Balancing Light-Heartedness with Depth: While the discussion is predominantly humorous, moments of vulnerability, such as Blake's struggle with self-image, add depth to the conversation.
Navigating Social Dynamics: Stories about Hollywood parties and neighbor complaints highlight the complexities of social interactions in high-profile environments.
This episode of "This Is Important" blends humor, personal anecdotes, and candid discussions to create an entertaining and insightful listening experience. Whether debating the merits of taquitos or sharing laugh-out-loud stories about neighborhood antics, Adam Devine, Anders Holm, Blake Anderson, and Kyle Newacheck deliver a memorable and engaging podcast session.