EP 273: Live From Las Vegas: The Guys See A Hooker & F1

Summary

Podcast Episode Summary

Podcast: This Is Important

Hosts: Adam Devine, Anders Holm, Blake Anderson, Kyle Newacheck (Kyle is not present in this episode)
Episode: EP 273 - “Live From Las Vegas: The Guys See A Hooker & F1”
Date: December 2, 2025
Location: Live at the Chelsea Theatre, Las Vegas

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Episode Overview

The guys are live in Las Vegas—rowdy, unfiltered, and in full Vegas mode. From wild childhood Vegas memories and the spectacle of F1 weekend, to hookers, strip club culture, cringe gym stories, and potty humor, the Workaholics crew answer live audience questions, roast each other, and riff on all things both Sin City and “important.” Through it all, their signature bro chemistry and relentless banter keep the energy high and the laughs coming.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Sin City Revelations

• Growing Up Vegas-Style: Adam shares his childhood Vegas trips, collecting “naked lady” trading cards (07:00), with the group riffing on how much harder it was to find "porno" in the pre-internet era.
  • Quote (@07:12, Adam): "I went to the lobby and then sprinted to the street and collected every card I could find… then dead sprinted back to the Circus Circus."
• Vegas Then vs. Now: The guys reflect on how, in their youth, the riskiest thing in Vegas was "overdrawing your account." Now, as adults, “the stakes are really high—like, we could really fuck our lives up out here, dude.” (13:42-14:02, Blake)
• Thunder from Down Under & Back Injuries: They joke about Adam straining his back during a commercial shoot with Marshawn Lynch and being outdone backstage by the “Thunder from Down Under”—the famous male revue (05:00-05:53).

F1, Accents, and Vegas Strangeness

• F1 Mania in Vegas: The crew pokes fun at the Formula 1 crowd (09:22), cultural clashes, and international accents—from elegant to “French trailer park.”
  • Quote (@10:01, Adam): "It just goes to show, there's white trash everywhere. We're all out here.”
• F1/Hooker T-Shirt Bit: Blake pitches a racy merch idea riffing on F1 and sex work:
  • Front: “If I see a prostitute, I’m gonna F1.”
  • Back: “If there’s a couple, I’ll F2 at once.”
    (11:05-12:11)
  • Quote (@11:05, Blake): "If I see a prostitute, I'm gonna F1. And then if I see a couple, I'm gonna F2 at once."

Vegas Animal Attractions & Old School Shows

• Sad MGM Lions & Shows: Anders recounts a disturbing memory of a woman feeding raw hamburger to MGM lions and jokes about the demise of the sad animal shows (14:52).
• Shoutouts to Dads in the Audience: Blake and Adam give props to their dads—lightheartedly addressing parental embarrassment at the event’s raunchy humor (16:15-16:51).
• Magicians & Blue Man Group: Fond (and awkward) recollections of seeing David Copperfield and Blue Man Group in Vegas—pivots into jokes about silent actors and porno cameos by "Waymond," a local legend, and the strangely respectable art of being “in a porno” but doing nothing sexual (17:21-20:48).

Banter, Brands, and Running Gags

• "Feeling Good" Bit: A running joke is the Michael Bublé song “Feeling Good,” with the crew randomly breaking into it throughout the show to punctuate moments of absurdity or triumph (@24:55, 25:12, 31:52, 45:25, 77:11).
  • Quote (@24:55): "And I’m… feel…" (crowd sings along)
• Spelling Bee Debacle: A group struggle to spell "predominantly" devolves into self-roasting and audience participation (@31:28-34:14).

Gen-Z, Fighting, and Murder Law

• Modern Gym Culture: Adam recounts an interaction with a gym-savvy teenager who calls out his behavior, leading to a discussion about imagined altercations and whether you get more trouble for fighting (or murdering!) a minor compared to an adult (@36:00-38:30).
  • Quote (@37:48, Adam): "For the next 30 minutes, I was working out, just thinking about the legality of me murdering this 16 year old."
• Parents & Gamer Kids: Blake laughs about steering his own kids toward eSports rather than sports, with the group debating if it’s harder to go pro in gaming or athletics (40:34-43:01).

Audience Q&A Highlights

• Workaholics Movie Elevator Pitch: Audience asks about the canceled Paramount+ project—painful for the group; Adam blames the studio for "killing Waymond" (@56:33-57:20).
• Parenthood & Humor Changes: Does fatherhood change your sense of humor? Not really, says the crew. “Didn’t you just hear us talking about jerking off and 16 year olds for fifteen minutes?” (@57:40-58:04)
• Favorite Places to Masturbate: Classic TII: In the bathroom (Adam), alone in a hotel (Blake), airplane is suggested (@58:35-59:18).
• Running Gags on Merch: Reiterates the "F1 Hooker" shirt bit, adds “Daddy’s gonna crank it” for the back graphic (59:54-60:17).
• Secrets and Gatekeeping: Blake is accused of being a "gatekeeper" about his pets, deep, dark secrets, and being a “furry Juggalo… but predominantly Juggalo” (@61:25-62:05).
• Boners in Public: Adam jokes wind can give him a boner, Anders gets one when the plane lands, the others less sure (@62:19-63:17).
• If Your Mom Was in a Porno, What’s the Title? “Penny’s D” for the dental hygienist; “Raw Realtor” (for Anders’ mom). Riffs devolve into pornographic tropes. (@65:21-66:44).
• Who’s Best at F1 Racing? Not Blake. Adam says he’d win because he’s “more willing to die” (@67:02-68:01).
• Celebrity Hall Pass: Rihanna is a popular choice, with self-deprecating jokes about never having a chance (@68:08-68:59).

Las Vegas Vibes & Takebacks

• Biggest “Male Perspective” Quality in a Wife: Jokes about “titties, ass, blowjob skill” before Adam gets earnest about his wife Chloe’s loving, fun disposition. Chloe comes up on stage, decked out in a chunky sweater but “not shaking her butt cheeks for anybody” (@80:17-82:36).
• Classic Workaholics Story: G Money, the neighbor who got their stolen car subwoofer back, makes for a beloved callback (@70:02-73:43).
  • Quote (@70:53, Adam, recounting G Money): "Man, that sucks. I'll see y'all on Broadway."
• Living Together Again? A hypothetical “yes”—maybe for the next show or reality series (@73:50-74:01).

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

Timestamps & Attributions

• On hustling for porn in the ‘90s:
  "You used to have to work for it." — Adam (08:15)
• On F1 and hookers:
  "If I see a prostitute, I'm gonna F1. And if I see a couple, I'm gonna F2 at once." — Blake (11:05)
• Livin’ the Vegas Life:
  "The wind can gust just right and suddenly, I’m fully erect." — Adam (03:33, again in context @62:40)
• On Blue Man Group monetizing:
  "Then another guy’s gonna paint himself blue and I’m just gonna collect checks. It doesn’t have to be me." — Adam (18:44)
• On fighting kids:
  "Are you in more trouble legally by murdering an underage? ... Or is it the same amount of murder?" — Adam (37:48)
• On secrets:
  "There's a gate and he's got some deep, dark secrets that he's not letting us know about." — Adam to Blake (61:43)
• On embarrassing dads:
  "Anytime I started a story, I started with the word 'coming.' I feel like we're gonna have a discussion later tonight. I really am sorry, publicly embarrassing you." — Blake (85:48)
• Summing up Vegas:
  "What happened at F1 did not stay there, bro." — Blake (74:20)

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Q&A Segment (Selected)

• What would a Workaholics-themed restaurant be named?
  • "Juggahoes," "Rancho Humongous Tits," and "Rancho Cockamongus" are all floated as irreverent ideas (@47:49-50:50).
• Favorite Cocktail?
  • Blake: Margarita
  • Adam: Dirty martini, vodka
  • Anders: Jack and ginger ale, but enjoyed a Cosmopolitan tonight (@74:48-75:56).

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Notable Callbacks

• Thunder from Down Under — both in-person and as a butt of their jokes.
• G Money — their colorful neighbor from pre-fame days.
• Waymond — the “funniest silent actor of our time” and local legend (21:00).
• “Feeling Good” Song — Michael Bublé set as a punchline and running motif for triumph or closure.

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Closing & Tone

The show wraps with gratitude and love for Vegas, self-effacing apologies for their family members in the audience, and one last round of inside jokes. The hosts’ tone throughout is energetic, irreverent, cheerfully vulgar, and deeply bonded—classic “This Is Important.”

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For Those Who Haven’t Listened

This episode is a raucous, live celebration of bro culture, Vegas excess, childhood nostalgia, and shameless humor—totally off-the-cuff, peppered with personal stories and crowd banter. If you're a fan of Workaholics, expect exactly their brand of camaraderie, raunch, and meta-comedy, making the episode engaging even if you aren't physically there. It’s not about answers; it’s about the absurd journey.

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[End of episode content—ads and closing credits not included.]

Transcript

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Welcome to this Is Important, a production of iheartradio, the show where we only talk about what's the most important bottom line. Critical thing happening on this planet today on this is Important.

[A]

The wind can gust just right and suddenly I'm fully erect.

[F]

I only wore this shirt to jack off into it later.

[E]

Ow.

[B]

I just chipped my teeth on my dick.

[F]

Buckle up.

[B]

Oh, hell yeah.

[F]

You guys want to see something cool?

[A]

What's that?

[F]

Watch my body as soon as we sit down.

[E]

Yep.

[F]

It's kind of cool, right?

[A]

Yeah, that kind of just melts into the couch.

[F]

That's cool though, right?

[A]

Wake up. When you were running around, I was thinking that that was looking pretty good, but now it's. It's very much not looking good.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

CII Nation.

[A]

Good to be here. Las Vegas. Lots of dirty, nasty things are happening out there.

[B]

Lots.

[A]

And definitely in here. I sh. I shake my dick for you guys. Dude. I didn't want to do that, but you made me. My wife Chloe is off to the side of the stage right now looking very disappointed.

[F]

Chloe, she's gone. She left those guys.

[A]

Yeah, there she is.

[F]

They're carrying her away. Yeah, I guess that's what they do in Australia. I don't know.

[A]

Keep it going for the thunder from down under. Those guys are pretty cool, right?

[B]

Those guys were cool.

[F]

Those guys were cool backstage before. They were all like, stretching and I'm like, for sure, for sure. Wrecked my back doing all that.

[A]

I'm in a lot of pain right now. For sure, dude.

[B]

I was surprised at the amount of break dancing going on. That was pretty sick by me.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

The way your body moves, it's hypnotizing.

[G]

Thank you.

[A]

You know, I just. I recently re. Injured my back.

[F]

Nice.

[E]

I did.

[A]

I did another commercial with my boy, Marshawn Lynch.

[B]

Okay.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And dude, he. He was like, yo, chest bump me. Would jump up and chest bump me, like in the commercial. I'm like, all right. Yeah. And I did it. And then he's like, I'm going to give some juice to this one. I'm like, I don't know what that means.

[F]

It's steroids.

[A]

And then he hit me. I flew like 15ft and then threw out my back.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

And the rest of the commercial was trash, dude.

[F]

But you got up like, haha. Did they get that? Haha. That Was funny. Haha. Call 911.

[A]

Yeah, it was mostly. I'm injured.

[F]

Isaac, meet me in my trailer.

[A]

I. I do love Las Vegas, man. This is one of my favorite cities. I've got some.

[B]

It's pretty rad. It's pretty rad.

[A]

I have some form memories here. My, my. Did your families ever vacation here or did they take you on vacations that you would like as a child?

[B]

Disneyland. It was more Disneyland and stuff like that.

[A]

Yeah, My, my dad was always like, I'll take you someplace better than Disneyland. Circus Circus.

[F]

Oh yeah.

[A]

And it's not better than Disneyland, I'll tell you what. And, but, but we were staying at the Circus Circus and then I saw outside that there's just these guys handing out little cards with naked women on them.

[B]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[A]

Have you seen these naked women? Guards.

[F]

This the 90s?

[A]

These. Yeah, this was 19, what, 97 or something?

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

And they're handing out like naked women like trading cards and. Which is tits and ass. Your boobs are huge. And my God, I was like, my dad was in the bathroom and I'm like, oh my.

[B]

Oh no.

[A]

Dang, mom, this is gonna take forever. Dad's gonna be in there forever. And she's like, he's finishing up. He'll be done any minute. I'm like, I'm gonna go shit in the lobby. And she's like, you don't have to. You can just wait one minute and he'll be done. I'm like, I'm going right now. Got a turtle had broken out and so I went to the lobby and then sprinted to the street and collected every card I could find.

[B]

Oh hell yeah.

[A]

And then like went to the, the, like the little rack where they have the newspapers and pamphlets.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I'm taking those that are just like pamphlets for water parks, bookers, titties and.

[F]

No, different, different.

[A]

And then I would stuff them down my pants. And then I dead sprinted back to the circus. Circus.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I come back just sopping wet, just like drenched in sweat. Being like, I couldn't find the toilet.

[F]

So it was super far away.

[A]

And then I really had to strain to get it out. Okay, whatever.

[F]

And this is why it's a problem that we just have porno.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Let's talk about in our pockets, on our computers. We used to have to run around and work for it.

[A]

You used to have to work for it.

[B]

You know, you really had to grind for your porno. I almost said popcorn. What the.

[F]

That too, though. I don't want to get into it, but like that, too.

[B]

Yeah, man.

[A]

I would say if you were a kid that grew up in Las Vegas in the 90s.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

That's what's up.

[A]

Yeah. You were very fortunate. How close in proximity. You were, right. To porno. Yeah.

[E]

What is.

[A]

I'm sure you were riding your bike to the strip to get the. The local. To get that new trading card. You're trading it with your friends.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. What was it like? Was it cool?

[F]

Can we. Can we get, like, a. A show of applause or whatever? Of a show of applause, A sound of applause, Whatever. Who here is a local?

[A]

I like it.

[F]

Versus who's here visiting?

[B]

Okay. Very cool.

[F]

That sounds. That sounds like 5248.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. That almost sounded exactly like that.

[C]

You're right.

[A]

It almost sounded exactly like that.

[B]

Is everybody in town for F.1 or.

[F]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[B]

I haven't heard this reaction.

[F]

I like this. They're like, oh, they drive cars. So do I. I'm with you. I'm with you.

[A]

I. I do think the F1 stuff is cool. But then you'll be out there, and, I mean, there's some beautiful accents out there. And then you're, like, in the same area as the people that are. Have this beautiful accent, and you're like, oh, that's a beautiful French accent. And then the same French accent that you hear minutes later is horrific sounding.

[E]

It's like.

[A]

And it just goes to show, there's white trash everywhere. We're all out here.

[B]

You're saying it's like French trailer park sounding like, right?

[A]

Yeah, but, you know, it sounds like.

[B]

The Kyle of France.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

What do they call that? What is water in France? In French aqua? La puzine is a pool. You asking the wrong guy about that.

[B]

Damn.

[F]

You want to talk?

[B]

He got you.

[F]

You want to talk pools. Where's the sandpiper aquatics team at? It's a local swim team.

[E]

Damn.

[B]

She really tried to offer up some helpful information, and you said, shut up.

[D]

What's on your shirt?

[A]

Who cares?

[F]

It's Sailor Moon. But Game of Thrones? You don't like Formula One?

[B]

I think. I think F1 needs some better merch. Like, I really want to make a shirt that says, if I see a prostitute, I'm gonna f.1.

[F]

Is that. You saw that when I sell the.

[B]

Out of that, and then on the back, it says, and then if I see a couple, I'm gonna F2 at once.

[F]

This is what Adam and I. This is what we like and don't love about Blake Anderson.

[A]

See, Blake, if you just had this idea two months ago, you could have told Isaac. We could have sold that shirt. Everyone would have bought it.

[B]

Okay, well, check the website. In two years.

[A]

And my child could afford diapers.

[B]

I didn't think of it until I saw the car drive by. And then I saw a prostitute, and I'm like, I want to F1. And then I was like, that. That's actually a good shirt.

[A]

Wow. Yeah, dude.

[D]

What does it go?

[F]

How is it again? Because it's a long one.

[B]

Well, the front says if I see a prostitute, I'm gonna F1. The back says if there's a couple, I'll F2 at once. That the back I need to work on. But the front is solid.

[A]

Yeah, the front. In fact, it might only be the front. You might not even need that.

[B]

It might not need a back hit. I don't know. I'm workshopping it with you guys. We're gonna come out of here with the T shirt.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, dude.

[A]

I saw Isaac, and I flew here and. Yeah, via plane. Pretty crazy. And there was this, like, this guy who. Who is, like, kind of creepy, you know, he kept. He kept going.

[G]

Okay.

[A]

And. And I was like, that's a fun noise. And then yesterday, I see him walking to the. Baccarat. Is it baccarat? Baccarat.

[B]

Okay. Baccarat. Yeah. You said, like, you sound like a weird French guy, right?

[F]

French guy.

[A]

Bar at the. Where was. At the Wynn, and Chloe and I were there, and this guy comes walking in, and I'm like, oh, the guy found me. And then he's looking at his phone, and then these two scantily clad women that were alone at the bar, they're looking at their phone. They look up at him, and then it goes. And, like, grunted at them was this Mr. Bean. And then they got up and left with him.

[B]

That's how it works.

[A]

I guess so, dude.

[B]

Any locals know how I can F1?

[F]

Yeah, I guess. Yeah. Maybe that's like, the workaround so that you don't get, like, in a sting operation. You're like, I never said anything.

[A]

Yeah, I just grunted at them.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. You know, I was thinking, like, now that we're in Vegas, you know, we.

[A]

We.

[B]

We're we're older now. We used to come here as young bucks. And, like, through my back, you used to think back in the day, like, when we're in our young 20s, it's like, the most you could fuck up in Vegas was, like, you overdraw. You know, you overdraw your Account a little bit.

[F]

Right.

[B]

But now the stakes are really high. Like, we could really fuck our lives up out here, dude.

[F]

Right?

[A]

Yeah. You could F1.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

And then. And all I got was this lousy T shirt.

[F]

Right?

[B]

Maybe that's the back. I f.1 ruined my life. And all I got was this lousy T shirt. And herpes right on the sleeve. Yeah. Just kidding.

[A]

And then on the inside and herpes and stuff. And gonorrhea underwear.

[F]

There's, like, an ellipses. It goes down to the socks. Athlete's foot. Somehow showered at her place. She's actually a sweet lady who lives with her mom.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

It's a really complicated situation.

[B]

I'm moving in.

[F]

What happens in Vegas ends up pretty sad.

[B]

What happens in Vegas? I ended up staying in Vegas. I live here now.

[F]

I happened in Vegas.

[B]

That's cool. I'm into it.

[F]

That's cool. And now you're just, like, taking out some F1 daughter to the lions who were in that sad cages out there. Oh, that's. Last time I was in Vegas, I went and saw these lions. The MGM lion progeny.

[B]

Is that still around?

[A]

Okay, well, we all work.

[F]

We are working for.

[A]

For MGM currently.

[F]

So you guys said no. So it's gone. And are you guys happy about that or, like, kind of sad? Because it was kind of cool. I saw. It is.

[A]

I bet it was tight.

[F]

I saw a lady who feeding just ground beef out of, like, a beach bag through a fence to an actual lion.

[B]

Wait, this was not someone who, like, was a caretaker of the animals.

[F]

No, dude, this was sad. That's why everyone's like, no, it's gone, Anders.

[B]

Yeah, well, you can't softball pitch raw meat to lions. Dude, that's.

[F]

She was doing it.

[C]

She's.

[B]

She seems like a legend to me.

[A]

That's like the sir the third, the.

[B]

Sister of Siegfried and Roy Helga. Helga the lion tamer with their beach bag of raw.

[F]

Sounds like it ground. They had a giraffe, too. It was a bad setup.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

I like that.

[A]

They do have a lot of sick shows besides that sad lion. They do have a lot of sick shows in Vegas.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I remember coming here, like, a long. I came with my. My dad is in the audience, by the way. Shout out to my dad.

[A]

What up? Where's. Where's our boy Tim? Where's our boy Tim?

[B]

Tim, put your hand up. Buy him a shot. Okay.

[F]

Timmy.

[A]

Timmy.

[B]

Love you, dad.

[A]

My dad. Stand up, Tim.

[B]

He's kind of short there. No, that's not you. That's you're not my dad. You're a woman.

[A]

You're a woman.

[F]

It's hella smoky in here.

[B]

My dad doesn't want to stand. My dad probably left when Thunder from down under came out. Yeah, he's like, God damn it. I knew it.

[A]

Yeah, he had to go to the bathroom to jerk off.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

I told him not to do that, but I got him. I think I came when I was 18 and I saw like, you what?

[D]

You what?

[A]

When you what?

[F]

That segue was.

[B]

Dad, I have something to tell you.

[A]

When I was 18, wild.

[B]

No, we went and we went and saw like David Copper.

[A]

Dude, I bet that is.

[B]

Does David Copperfield still run this city? Where my David Copperfield day one.

[G]

Chris.

[B]

Angel, bro. I'm kidding.

[F]

Angel seems cool. I think he's. I think he's gone. I think they, like, found a woman in a box.

[B]

Oh, is he like, cancelled? Oh, well, I'll tell you what. David Copperfield in the 90s, bro. He used to just. His magic trick was just.

[A]

He flew.

[B]

So he'd just be like talking and then he'd just be like, yeah, yeah. And then he'd fly around the.

[E]

The theater.

[B]

And I was like, well, I guess I wasn't that little, but I came. That's when I came.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

Then he made his career disappear.

[B]

He was. He was so cool. I know you got favorite Copperfield. Hey, you know what? Guess what? First points of the day goes.

[F]

Yes. Points Copperfield. If you guys didn't hear it, she said David Coppa feel. I believe.

[B]

Oh, I thought she said conquer field, which I like what you say. Did you say Coppa feel?

[F]

Oh, so I think I just kind of like improved it. Jk. JK Raling. JK Ralings.

[B]

That's a punch up team.

[F]

JK Raling.

[B]

I also saw Blue Man Group, which was cool.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Oh, that's one. Those guys were geniuses because there's one guy who was like, oh, what if I just painted myself blue and beat the drums, you know, and then get two friends that are like, this is a stupid ass idea. And then it became a hit and then he just goes. And then now another guy's going to paint himself blue and I'm just going to collect checks.

[B]

It doesn't have to be me.

[A]

And that's why I'm actually not Adam.

[E]

Oh.

[F]

He'S Adam. He's Adam, actually.

[A]

Adam. Yeah.

[B]

That would have been really cool.

[F]

Yeah. Those guys are crazy. It's like, get new friends or something.

[E]

Right?

[A]

Right.

[F]

It's like you do the same Thing with the same people all the time.

[B]

It's sad.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

Move on.

[A]

It's a little sad or something.

[F]

Yeah. How many more minutes? You know, I like the Blue Man Group.

[B]

Yeah, they're off the chain, dude.

[E]

Are you kidding me?

[B]

They got the fluorescent paint and.

[E]

And they don't.

[B]

Anytime people don't have to talk and they can entertain you.

[A]

I'm into it.

[B]

Right, Mr. Bean. Which we've already mentioned, weirdly twice already.

[F]

It's not even that weird. But do. But for me, will you name just one more?

[B]

One more person who doesn't talk and makes me laugh.

[F]

Yeah. Who.

[B]

Say Ron Jeremy.

[A]

That's.

[F]

That's what I heard.

[A]

The hedgehog himself.

[F]

I heard that.

[A]

Legend.

[B]

Great call.

[A]

Nailed it.

[B]

Wayman, Arguably the funniest silent actor of our time. RIP Way man. The legend, dude. Absolutely.

[F]

And for those of you who think we're kidding, he actually did pass away.

[A]

Yeah, he did.

[C]

He did.

[F]

This is real. Real moment.

[B]

Honestly, an awesome guy. Really, really good boners.

[F]

Back to Bon.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

You came when you were 18, though.

[A]

Great guy. And also my favorite porno star.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. He was in a porno.

[F]

He was in a porno.

[A]

And he was the best version of being in a porno possible because he did not have sex with anyone. Because if you're in a porno and you have sex with someone, then you're in a porno having sex with someone, but he just walks into a kitchen with two people on an industrial kitchen table, and he goes and walk out.

[F]

Said nothing. Got a laugh.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[F]

The best.

[A]

What was the name? I don't know. No, I'm asking you, Blake.

[B]

You know, I. I do not know the name.

[F]

I think you can. It'll. It's Googleable.

[B]

You want me to Google porno in front of all these people? Yeah.

[F]

Does anyone have the WI fi password?

[A]

Hey, when you type in P on your search bar, does it immediately come up pornhub?

[B]

I. I delete the search so it doesn't go there right away.

[A]

Yeah, because I'm looking at my search bar, and I'm like, as soon as my son is over, like, four years old, I've got to change this shit.

[B]

Okay?

[F]

So.

[A]

Because I even hover near the P, and it's like, I know what you want to look at.

[F]

Can I tell you something? You won't.

[A]

Yeah, you're right. I won't. Yeah.

[B]

So the first search is a Reddit post, and It's. It says 99.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And people are airdropping me. 99.

[F]

Sure.

[B]

Waymond. Is in this porno. And it's like, it's definitely a short, Asian type, man.

[A]

Type, Asian type.

[B]

Smells of wildly potent cologne. And then that.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

And then. Yeah, Yeah.

[F]

I don't think he smelled wildly anything.

[A]

No. Yeah, it wasn't that pretty normal smell.

[B]

Yeah. But other than that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then it's a pornhub link and I don't want to click that because Play. I.

[A]

Dude, we're in Vegas, man. Sin city.

[B]

Okay. And here we go. Doing it, man.

[F]

I'm not give your driver's license. Get over it.

[B]

No, I, I know, but I, I, I feel like this is.

[A]

I love doing these live shows because there's a huge portion of the crowd that are. This is important fans and thank you for being here.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

And then we love you. We love you. And then also some people that just were like, I don't know, what's the show at the Chelsea Theater?

[F]

Yeah. Hey, this is important. It sounds.

[A]

They're like 65 years old going, what the is this?

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

They're like, yeah.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[B]

They were male strippers. And then they started live googling porno on stage.

[F]

My wife came three times already and.

[B]

I got a, I got a buzz ball out of the deal.

[A]

Did anybody hit my tooth on a goddamn buzz ball?

[B]

He hit me square in the eye.

[A]

I like how we're doing 60 year old impressions as if they're 900 years old.

[B]

You know who's 60 is Isaac, dude.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

Damn near it. Damn near it.

[B]

Which actually I feel, I feel like Isaac, can we, can I get a beer up here?

[A]

Isaac, can we get cold beers? Because these are room temp.

[F]

Here he comes. And Isaac in the wild.

[B]

Come on, Isaac.

[A]

Hey, Isaac. Isaac, let's see it.

[B]

Isaac, take it off.

[A]

I took mine off. Isaac. I took mine off. Isaac.

[B]

Isaac, Get in the line.

[A]

Right?

[F]

So, so funny story. Adam likes to butt. Isaac.

[A]

I love butt. Isaac. It's a funny story, but that's the end of the story. But I butt Isaac.

[E]

Yeah. That.

[F]

It's a funny story. So I thought funny story short, funny podcast.

[B]

Tell funny story that that Michael Buble song hits so damn hard when you're freaking.

[A]

Dude, I thought that was like an old song, but that's just Michael buble from like 2004.

[C]

What?

[F]

Buble? Dude, there's no doubt in my mind.

[E]

Look.

[B]

Good.

[F]

And so you guys have been singing this song for the last 12 hours for some reason.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Anything, anytime, something kind of cool happens, we just look at each other and go.

[A]

And I'm Feel.

[B]

All the locals are.

[A]

Like a song that, like, the rat pack would sing to each other.

[E]

Dude.

[B]

All the locals are like, yeah. Literally every old white dude does that all the time.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

And here we are. We're old white guys.

[F]

Yes.

[B]

And I'm feeling good.

[E]

Hey, TII nation. You know what I hate about shopping for underwear? How you never know how it's going to fit until you take it home and try it on. But luckily, now that skims makes men's underwear, we can trust that it will be comfortable. I am always on the go, and I want underwear that works with me and not against me. I am personally constantly working out, either running or lifting weights, and I need underwear that moves with me. And skims stretch boxer briefs. They do just that. They allow me to move freely, and I don't feel like I'm wearing gym clothes all day. There's no restricting workout underwear here. We're living our best life in our skims. We're big skims underwear guys now, and you should be, too. Shop skimsmenskims.com let them know we sent you. And after you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. And if you're looking for the perfect gift this season, the skims holiday shop is [e-mail].

[D]

Hey, everyone. So let me ask, how's your holiday shopping going? I know it can be hard to find the perfect gift for someone. I mean, when you know someone really well, it's a lot easier, but when you don't, it's a lot harder.

[F]

Right, Adam?

[E]

Yep.

[D]

But I've got a tip to help you out there.

[A]

What's that?

[D]

Get to know them better.

[C]

Oh, yeah, that's it. And the best way to do that is on Facebook. You can learn more about them. You can discover their interests and hobbies through Facebook groups. Writers.

[E]

Yep.

[C]

Maybe they love dogs. Maybe they love crochet. Everybody's different. Writers.

[E]

Yep.

[C]

But you'll never know how unless you.

[A]

Get to know them.

[D]

And not only can you use Facebook to get to know someone better, you can use Facebook Marketplace to find the perfect gift once you do.

[F]

Right, Adam?

[C]

Correct.

[D]

And by the perfect gift, I mean a thoughtful gift. One that shows you know the person even when you maybe didn't know them that well before.

[C]

That's how you connect with people. That's how Facebook helps you connect with people. And a little connection goes a long way. Let's reconnect this holiday season with Facebook.

[D]

Question for all the gamers out there are you seriously going to miss out on Alienware's biggest gaming sale of the year? These are Black Friday prices, so it's not just another sale. This is some pretty big bang for.

[E]

Your buck, you know, It's Alienware with some of the most advanced engineering out there with systems at the top of reviewers lists. And what about a gift for yourself? Gift yourself a new Alienware 16 Aurora gaming laptop. This thing's got performance at the absolute next level with Intel Core processors. And even better, you can get it during Black Friday starting at $899.99.

[C]

Plus you can save on all kinds of displays and accessories like Alienware 32.4K QD OLED gaming monitor for ultra Visual fidelity. These really are incredible deals on PCs with otherworldly performance. So visit alienware.com dealsoon and grab what you can before the biggest sale of the year goes dark.

[E]

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[A]

Dura's mustache is predominantly white at this point.

[F]

Isn't it crazy that. Thank you, Santa's in the house. Predominantly as a word was just kind of like, I'm a word. I'm predominantly. It means, like, mostly. And then we were like, predominantly white, predominantly black, and predominantly. It's like, what the. Yeah, I used to just be a word, and now I'm about, how many people of what race are here? What's happening?

[B]

Yeah, like, what if your cheeseburger is predominantly cheese? Does that mean it has more cheese than me? Yeah, I'm smart as hell, dude.

[F]

Yeah, that's. That's what it means.

[A]

Literally exactly what that means.

[F]

You dumb.

[C]

This is important.

[B]

I've just never heard it instituted that way.

[F]

I know, because we instituted races. And predominantly is like, bail me out, homie. From so from now on, when you guys. If you go to order any, like, in and out or what the ever be like. And I'd like that. And I would like that double, double, predominantly cheese.

[B]

Hey. And then.

[A]

And feel.

[F]

Blue or. Or ask if it's predominantly me. So is it double, double, predominantly meat.

[A]

Or is it predominantly bread? And this 16 year old behind the counter is like, look, man, I don't get paid enough for this bruh.

[F]

Order, dude.

[B]

Spell predominantly.

[A]

Actually, Blake, can you spell predominantly?

[E]

Absolutely.

[F]

Ain't no way.

[A]

100 do it, dude. Sure.

[F]

Manly.

[A]

Predominantly.

[E]

Hold on.

[B]

Pr. No, I can't.

[F]

I don't know if it's pre or pro, but I think it's pro.

[B]

I think it's pro.

[A]

It's not pro dominantly. It's predominantly.

[F]

You think it's free.

[A]

Like it's.

[F]

Before it was dominating. I think it's like a professional dominatingness.

[A]

We've written TV shows and movies. This goes to show. You can be so dumb.

[F]

I, I, I, I. I'm gonna. I'm gonna put the mic out like this.

[A]

It's pro. Correct.

[B]

You lose.

[F]

See, you are so dumb. Look up.

[A]

I, I also don't know how to spell predominantly.

[F]

I also think it might be per.

[A]

It's not predominantly. It's pre.

[F]

No, it's P, R, R. Like a cat. Like a sweet little kitty cat.

[A]

It's like, dude, the fact that people think you're the smart one of the group, and then they hear something like this. You can't tell time. You think it's pro. Dominantly. You're a stupid dumbass.

[B]

See, if I would have.

[F]

I got nothing.

[B]

If I would have gone with my initial thought.

[F]

Did you find it?

[B]

I would have spelled it correctly.

[A]

Yeah, it's.

[F]

But we've been over this.

[B]

Well, it's really actually pretty easy. It's exactly what you think it is. Piero, pre.

[A]

Dom.

[B]

Inatly.

[A]

That's not spelling.

[F]

You know that, right?

[B]

That's not how you spell it. The first letter is free.

[A]

Yeah, but that's not spelling that. You're just enunciating how to pronounce it. Predominantly. But that's not spelling.

[F]

Blake, I said that.

[A]

I just spelled predominantly.

[B]

That's not spelling.

[A]

Spelling is saying the letters, okay? In order.

[B]

P, R, E, D, O, M, I, N, A, N, T, L, Y.

[F]

Your goddamn hair growing.

[B]

I like that this dude just said.

[A]

No.

[B]

I've got it up on Google.

[F]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[B]

What if I got in a fight over spelling? No, this guy. Dude, I would have.

[A]

I would love that. I think the audience would, too.

[B]

My ass kicked, too. No, man, that's not how. I know. That's how you spell. Oh, Jesus.

[A]

I think that often, like, there's so many times throughout the day that I'm going throughout my day where I. I. Let me ask you guys, do you guys do this where you're going throughout your day? And then someone will say something that you're like, ah, I want to fight this guy. Or they might just do something.

[F]

Or like, they call you stupid and dumb in front of 800 people. Yeah, I'm pissed now.

[A]

Or they. Or they might just be doing something at the gym that you're like, this asshole, and you're like, I want to fight that guy. And how many times if you were to fight them, they would actually kick your ass. I think maybe 100% right.

[B]

Fucking thing sucks.

[F]

If you're like me, you've already, like, you're predominantly ready to. Okay, like, eye gouge. You're like, he's huge. But guess what? He's gonna lose an eye. And every time he looks in the mirror when I'm dead and he's still alive, Yep. He's gonna see that he's got one fucking eye because he fucked with the wrong dude.

[A]

That's actually a great idea. You go eyes, I go nuts. I'm like, how quickly could I.

[F]

You just need to get in there, huh?

[A]

Hit him in the nuts. Yeah, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, I think that's a.

[F]

Where do you go nuts or eyes?

[B]

I just. I just start kissing him furiously.

[A]

Yeah, I knew. I knew that's where that was going.

[B]

I think the other day.

[A]

The other day I was at the gym, and I talked about this on the podcast, but I'm at the gym, right? And this kid, he's like, probably 16 years old. And. And he has a tripod, and he's working out in front of a tripod and he's FaceTiming his friends and he's flexing for them.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

And I'm like, this kid, and I'm looking.

[F]

What I do. That's my.

[A]

I'm looking for a bar. And he. He turns around and goes, excuse me, can I help you?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And I go, no, I'm. I'm just looking for a bar. And he goes, well, maybe I can help. And I'm like, well, you're actually using the bar that I was going to use, but I can find my own bar. And he goes, you know what? I'm going to give you my bar here you go. And if you take it and go over there and you wait your turn, then you can use that piece of equipment and go about your day. And I'm like, all right. And then I had to say, hit.

[B]

You with the go about your day.

[F]

You gave him too much wiggle room. You gotta immediately go. And he says, can I help you? You breeze past saying, doubt it.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[F]

And then he goes. And he goes, that's my daddy. And then it's.

[D]

It's whatever.

[F]

Then you say, you go over there.

[A]

Side.

[F]

You bled the whole situation.

[A]

I did. I blaked the whole situation.

[C]

And.

[A]

But instead of doing that, he gave me the bar. So I felt like, ah, now I got to go over there and wait my turn. Like A. I'm 42 years old, he's 16. Your boobs are huge. And then he says to his friends who he's FaceTiming with, he goes, see, boys, I chose kindness today. And I'm like, no, I want to. And then for the next, like 30 minutes, I was working out, it was just me thinking of the legality of me murdering this 16 year old.

[F]

Right.

[A]

Like, are you in more trouble legally by murdering an underage?

[F]

I don't think. I don't think so.

[A]

Or is it that the same amount of murder?

[B]

Huh? Well, yeah, it's definitely the same amount of murder.

[A]

Same amount of murder.

[F]

It's.

[B]

It's one murder.

[A]

It's one murder. But are you in more murder trouble murdering like a. But then you like. But then the judge goes on his social media and he goes, right, right, right, right, right.

[F]

Look at this guy.

[A]

Look at this guy's a. Yeah.

[F]

We're not saying it's okay to kill kids.

[A]

No.

[F]

Until you check out, they're absolutely not.

[B]

Please don't take that away.

[F]

Please don't take that yeah.

[A]

And not we're. And we're also not saying never.

[F]

No, no, no.

[A]

We're not saying never. We're saying let's look at their social media and see how shitty they are.

[E]

Right.

[B]

And then judge accordingly accordingly.

[A]

Right. The legality of that.

[B]

Yes. If they, if they're predominantly pieces of.

[A]

See, then the judge looks right at me and goes and I'm feeling good.

[F]

Was he predominantly me?

[A]

Was he predominantly meat?

[F]

Yeah, you know what I'm asking?

[A]

No, he wasn't that swole of a. There's some swole 16 year old kids that work out of my gym, but he wasn't that swole. I'm. I'm more swole, I would say.

[F]

What's the story with this gym?

[A]

I live on the beach in Southern California and there's just some jacked ass kids. I mean kids were not this jacked when I was a kid. Right? Oh, yeah.

[F]

They're not even athletes. They're not even athletes. They're like, I don't want to play sports. That's too much bullshit. I'm just going to work out, get jacked. Probably by the time they're 18.

[E]

Come. Yep.

[B]

Is that what you were teen up?

[F]

Yes, I'm going to come.

[A]

Why'd you make him come?

[F]

Yeah, everybody's coming.

[A]

Yeah, a friend of mine, I saw a post on Facebook the other day. She was like, hey, does anyone know any bodybuilding specific trainers for my 15 year old son, he wants to get into bodybuilding. Last year he was into powerlifting at 14, but this year he wants to.

[F]

Adam get into bodybuilding.

[A]

And I was like, I wish my parents because God damn, I'd be such a, a hunk if I started at 15. That's. And that's why I'm just the regular man I used to see before you.

[F]

Yeah, I am. But you fort more.

[A]

You are.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

I feel like parents are way ahead of with, ahead of it with their kids now. They know to train them really young.

[F]

Blake, you're a parent.

[B]

And I'm telling my kids to play more Modern Warfare and first person shooters. Like you got to get in there. You got to put in the time when my kids are like, I want to play outside. Outside I'm safe. You can play outside. When you play your video games for.

[F]

Two hours right after you save the.

[B]

World, I need you in there in the battlefield and accurately.

[F]

Right.

[B]

I'm talking Mountain Dew deals, dude.

[F]

I didn't realize we were about to get real tonight.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is it harder to become a professional like athlete or Is it harder to become a professional gamer?

[B]

E. Gamer.

[F]

Well, everyone can play a video game. If you have thumbs, you can play a video game, right?

[A]

Yeah, but it doesn't mean you're gonna be good at, like, everyone can hold.

[B]

Honestly, that's not what I'm saying. I remember with my father in the audience, him coming and, like, into my room and being, like, coming. Why do I keep saying.

[A]

Yeah, you keep. This is in front of your father. You keep coming over and over in.

[B]

My room, like, hey, son. Like, what are you doing playing your video games? Hey, let me play a.

[A]

And you're like, I can't stop coming.

[B]

But, like, it was kind of one of the first times where it's like, oh, like, I can kick my dad's ass in video games easily. Like, I start to feel bad, like.

[A]

I don't want to beat him, but never in real life.

[F]

Cool, dude.

[B]

Oh, no, he could still beat the. He's an Iowa wrestler.

[A]

What's up, Tim? That's right.

[B]

That got a small cheer.

[G]

But.

[B]

But I'm sorry.

[F]

Everyone who has thumbs can play video games. Yes. They can't play them well, but they can't. It's not like flipping over a pommel horse or some.

[B]

Right, Right.

[A]

What kind of dumbass sport do you choose? Dude, you always pick the most obscure thing, like a pommel horse.

[F]

Who can do that? Not everybody.

[A]

Well, sure, but I'm talking about, like, a baseball costs, like, $2.

[F]

I know, but everyone can. I'm trying to think of something that's very difficult to do. Catching a football is harder than having thumbs up. Correct. Is it harder to have thumbs, or is it harder to catch a football?

[B]

Gotcha.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

You guys see what I'm dealing with?

[A]

Okay, Anders. I guess it's easier to have thumbs.

[F]

So I'm saying the pool of video gamers is everybody with thumbs, and therefore, it's probably harder to become a professional gamer than a professional athlete.

[A]

And I'm feeling.

[F]

Either you have diarrhea or you don't.

[A]

I don't.

[F]

I do you.

[B]

I also bet, like, you keep saying, like, thumbs. Like, that's the. You have to have to play video games. You don't necessarily need thumbs to play video games.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

There's people who use their feet, which I didn't know about, so.

[F]

Oh, people use feet. Can I tell you thing? Let me tell you one thing. Let me tell you one thing about people using feet to play video games.

[D]

They're not going pro.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[F]

Yeah. You also have to have vision.

[B]

Okay, but say. Say Like, I'm playing an arcade, like, mortal. And I'm just gonna. I'm gonna put the mic here just as a placeholder.

[C]

What?

[F]

I don't even know what's happening.

[A]

Why are you putting the mic there? Place holder.

[F]

Blake, are you good?

[B]

I'm just putting it here as a placeholder.

[F]

Yeah, I bet. Should we go?

[B]

But I don't need thumbs to grip the. The joystick. Like, say, I'm playing. Playing Mortal Kombat.

[F]

Are you at a standup arcade?

[B]

Yeah. So I'm at a standup arcade.

[C]

Boo.

[A]

Party file.

[B]

Blake, that was Coke Zero from earlier. Don't worry, the beer is fine. Don't interrupt my demonstration.

[F]

Fair enough.

[C]

Fair enough.

[B]

So if I'm playing like this, no thumb.

[A]

Yeah, it's still good.

[B]

I can still go. Ow. I just chipped my teeth on my dick.

[F]

I guess I'm talking about video games with the controller, not standing at an arcade like, it's 1988.

[A]

Yeah, but a lot of professional video gamers play with a computer, right?

[B]

That's true. And you don't need a thumb for a mouse.

[A]

No. No thumb necessary. I'm with. Who cares? Yeah, I'm with you. You like how you suck your own dick so quickly? I just saw.

[F]

Is this.

[A]

Does this work?

[F]

You guys are pretending like people don't play with their thumbs for some reason?

[A]

No, no, no. They play with their thumbs.

[B]

No, it's just weird.

[F]

What are we doing here? What are we doing here?

[B]

No, it's just your argument. All of a sudden, you're like, oh, like, dudes could be on pommel horses and that already. I'm already like, where the am I? And then you're like, keep talking about thumbs.

[F]

You still thinking about those guys in the pummel horse, Huh?

[B]

I am thinking about that. Absolutely.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And I'm feeling good.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

You are so dumb. Thanks, man.

[B]

What was it?

[F]

That means the world to us, bro.

[A]

Yeah. That is from My Stand Up 2019 World famous Netflix special, Adam Devine. Best time of our lives.

[B]

Yeah. Let's go.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Shout out. Netflix.

[A]

That exact same thing has happened to me no less than three times since being in Vegas.

[B]

Oh, what?

[A]

Where random strangers go, you got a tight butthole, manhole. And I love it every time. So thanks for doing it, dog. I love you, dog. Thank you, man.

[B]

Damn. I really believe him. That's what's crazy.

[F]

Blake, that's your dad.

[A]

What the hell? Wait, Tim.

[F]

He, like, really loves Adam. This is so interesting.

[A]

Yeah, well, me and. Me and Tim have a.

[F]

He's. But he's not calling to Blake.

[A]

It's okay.

[C]

Weird.

[B]

Wow.

[F]

That's a deep cut.

[B]

It's a deep cut.

[F]

Deep cut.

[A]

Unfortunately, Kyle's dead to us, so he's not here.

[F]

Yeah, unfortunately, I. I only wore this shirt to jack off into it later.

[B]

Yeah, there you go.

[A]

Yeah. To wipe our asses with it.

[F]

F1.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

If Kyle was here, I would F1. That doesn't work. Yeah, yeah, that doesn't work.

[A]

You would not F1. No. No.

[F]

You get any Q and A questions?

[G]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

Isaac.

[A]

Isaac Horn. Your time to shine, buddy. Where's those Q and A's?

[B]

Isaac, stop talking to Thunder from down under and get the up here, man.

[F]

I'm drunk now.

[B]

All right, pick it up, Isaac. They want.

[F]

It doesn't hit.

[A]

Isaac, show us your butthole.

[F]

I don't like you guys telling me.

[A]

To show my tits. Punk rock getting radical. So dumb.

[B]

Okay, we got some. Some questions.

[A]

Hot Q and A. You guys have the hot cues. We got some sweet, sensual A's.

[F]

Let me just do this real quick.

[A]

If you opened a workaholic slash TII restaurant. Yeah. What would you call it? Oh.

[F]

Yeah, it's just a honey and, like, bread restaurant.

[B]

You said, better have my restaurant.

[A]

A restaurant. Yeah. We recently on the podcast realized that Hooters is going out of business and that it. That made us all very sad. Specifically Blake. He started to cry. It got weird.

[F]

It was weird.

[B]

I feel like we could do. Since we did, like, a Juggalos episode, maybe something about, like, jugs. Like, maybe it could be just straight up juggaho. Like juggahoes.

[F]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Juggahoes could be a cool brush, dude.

[A]

I told you guys that I saw a Juggalo in the wild the other day. Yeah. I was back in Nebraska, and I was at a steakhouse in the middle of nowhere in, like, the. The corn fields between Omaha and Lincoln, Nebraska.

[F]

That's.

[A]

And I see him. He's probably, like, 14, 15, and he's with his, like, farm parents wearing, like, overalls and. But he's full makeup on, like, on an off day.

[B]

It's.

[C]

It's a.

[A]

It's a Friday, right? It's a Friday. He full Juggalo's makeup. And as I leave, I go, whoa, whoop, whoop. Some Juggalo fans in the audience. And he did not give it back to me. He looked at me and goes, what?

[F]

What's cool? Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

What's cool is you thought it was a Juggalo, but it was just, like, a farm mime, right?

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

And he was feeling good.

[F]

You know, I feel like they're ahead of the curve. We see all these people wearing, like, the. The animal ears and, like, the tails now.

[B]

Furries.

[F]

And for some reason, we're told to, like, treat those people normally when really we are. Right. Like, they get a pass. And Juggalos are freaks of nature when really they all sit at the same lunch table, right?

[B]

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[F]

So what's the deal?

[A]

I don't think the furries are really treated that normally.

[F]

They are.

[B]

No, no, dude.

[F]

They walk amongst us. Us way more easily than.

[A]

Well, it's because they don't wear makeup and spray soda all over each other, like.

[F]

But isn't that the good stuff? What do they do?

[A]

They just each other in furry costumes?

[F]

No, no, no, no.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

We're in Las Vegas. There's like. There's like a thousand people here. 200 of these people are furries.

[F]

That's true. We need to head.

[A]

They're here for the furry convention, which starts just after F1 ends. They're like. It's only F1 would end.

[F]

Where are these cat ears coming from? What's the thing?

[E]

Anime.

[F]

Just anime?

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

No soda involved. Okay. The name of the restaurant. I mean, there's got to be like, a Rancho C. Humongous Tits.

[B]

That's pretty good.

[F]

That ain't Rancho Cucumbers hung.

[A]

It would have to be Rancho Cockamongus. Yeah, Rancho Cockamongous. And it's just. We get the guys from Thunder from Down under, which is big old Floppy. Yeah.

[B]

Honestly, I would go to Rancho Humongous for.

[A]

For wings.

[D]

That's it.

[B]

Actually, no, they have really good mozzarella sticks. Yeah, it's crazy. And jalapeno poppers, which is pretty wild.

[A]

Juicy poppers.

[G]

This is an advertisement by betterhelp. The holidays are a time of traditions. And some people have a lot of those in their family. Some have none at all. For some people, holiday traditions and memories of the past can be a time of joy. And for some people, they can be very difficult, complicated, whatever the case is for you. Therapy can help you take the time for yourself during what can be a joyful but also hectic and lonely time of the year. BetterHelp can be a good option if you are looking to explore therapy. BetterHelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully qualified. BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences and their 12 plus years of experience and industry leading match fulfillment rate means they typically get it right the first time. With over 30,000 therapists worldwide, BetterHelp is one of the leading online therapy platforms, having served over 5 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on based on over 1.7 million client reviews. So this December, start a new tradition by taking care of you. Our listeners get 10% [e-mail] behind that's betterhelp.com behind hey, everyone.

[D]

So let me ask, how's your holiday shopping going? I know it can be hard to find the perfect gift for someone. I mean, when you know someone really well, it's a lot easier. But when you don't, it's a lot harder.

[F]

Right, Adam?

[E]

Yep.

[D]

But I've got a tip to help you out there.

[C]

What's that?

[D]

Get to know them better.

[C]

Oh, yeah, that's it. And the best way to do that is on Facebook. You can learn more about them. You can discover their interests and hobbies through Facebook groups. Right, Ders?

[E]

Yep.

[C]

Maybe they love dogs. Maybe they love crochet. Everybody's different, right, Ders?

[E]

Yep.

[C]

But you'll never know how unless you.

[A]

Get to know them.

[D]

And not only can you use Facebook to get to know someone better, you can use Facebook Marketplace to find the perfect gift once you do.

[F]

Right, Adam?

[C]

Correct.

[D]

And by the perfect gift, I mean a thoughtful gift, one that shows you know the person even when you maybe didn't know them that well before.

[C]

That's how you connect with people. That's how Facebook helps you connect with people. And a little connection goes a long way. Let's reconnect this holiday season with Facebook.

[D]

Question for all the gamers out there, are you seriously going to miss out on Alienware's biggest gaming sale of the year? These are Black Friday prices, so it's not just another sale. This is some pretty big bang for your buck.

[E]

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[C]

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[E]

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[F]

What else?

[A]

What's the elevator pitch for the abandoned Paramount plus project?

[E]

Well.

[A]

And that's just Megs from Canada. Megs, you know, that's the Workaholics movie.

[B]

And you got a hooter shirt.

[E]

Hell yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And the elevator pitch was. It's the Workaholics movie. And nothing. Nothing makes us more sad than for you to bring it up.

[B]

Meg.

[A]

My God. Imagine if we had the Workaholics movie and before. Before Waylon passed away. My God, Wayland. A lot of people are saying you said Waylon. Oh, that's my neighbor. He also passed away. He just.

[B]

God damn it.

[F]

I'll be right over here.

[A]

No, my. I blew that.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

No, if. I think Paramount plus killed Waymond. Honestly. Goodbye. That's cool.

[B]

That's what you were leading up to.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

That's a cool thing to say about a real guy.

[B]

Dark.

[A]

Has your sense of humor changed after fatherhood or n. Has what? Your sense of humor changed after fatherhood. Yeah.

[B]

Didn't you just hear us talking about Jack? 16 year olds for 15 minutes? Yeah, now I just observe. I was going to say young boys.

[F]

What the.

[A]

Yeah, you said it, dude.

[F]

You were going to say. Then you just said.

[E]

I did.

[B]

I think I got to stop.

[A]

If you're.

[F]

Hey, by the way, if you're ever going to say something, you don't have to.

[B]

Yeah, that's true. That's true.

[F]

I don't think so. But, like, you, you, you, you, like, you have, like, compartmentalize it, right? You got your around the house humor, then you got your podcast humor.

[A]

Yeah, well, my son's so young that I'm like, no, not at all, but. Right. You know, maybe when he's.

[F]

12, 4.

[A]

Yeah, 12, 13.

[F]

It'll start before that. Trust me.

[A]

Not me. I'm a bad guy.

[F]

Duh.

[A]

Favorite place to spank it from Jeremy.

[B]

Favorite place to spank it.

[A]

Well, like I said, I'm a new father and a husband, so it's always the toilet. Why do you think I take 45 minute long shits?

[F]

Nice.

[A]

Three times a day, honey.

[F]

Nice.

[B]

That's a great question. I like that I really have to think of this one.

[F]

Airplane.

[B]

No airplane. It's scenarios like this. Like, honestly. Like, honestly, guys. Like being in a hotel away from the fam. It's like, finally, Daddy.

[F]

Real treat.

[B]

I shouldn't say daddy, but, like, it's like, finally, I got. I got a room to myself, man.

[E]

I can.

[B]

I can really.

[F]

Work on yourself.

[B]

I can really. I can really send it back to high school.

[F]

Did you say it's weird to say Daddy?

[B]

Well, like, because I.

[A]

Because I.

[F]

If anything, I would be. I'm an advocate for fathers.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Who want to get one off.

[B]

I know, but it was weird that I was about to be like, daddy, Daddy's got time off. He can really crack.

[G]

Crank it.

[A]

Yes.

[F]

Like, we have to. That's exactly ourselves. No one else is going to.

[A]

That's the exact right way to say daddy has time off. He can crank it.

[B]

And that's the back of the F1 shirt. Yeah. This merch is over.

[A]

Well, the front is. The front is. There's a prostitute, so I want to see.

[B]

If I see a prostitute, I'm gonna F1 in.

[A]

The back of the shipment is, Daddy's gonna crank it. But you just F1. You don't need to crank it or do you. After you F1, you immediately have to crank it to think about effing one.

[F]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude.

[A]

All right.

[F]

It's gonna sell with, like, some disinfectant, maybe even.

[B]

It's just in case it's gonna sell. We're having them print.

[A]

Okay, so no one knew Blake has a dog.

[B]

Okay. It's not my dog.

[F]

What's the question, Adam?

[C]

Pizza.

[G]

Pizza.

[A]

What's something the other two don't know about you don't know about me?

[B]

I feel like you guys don't listen to me or talk to me. So you do. You truly don't know much.

[F]

Well, I feel like we play. I feel like we know a lot. Oh, I feel like.

[B]

Thank you.

[F]

What do you think we don't know about you?

[A]

We know so much about you. But.

[F]

Well, see, the. The fact that. Go ahead.

[E]

Go ahead.

[F]

But the fact that you have to think about something we don't know about you tells me we know about you.

[B]

That you know a lot about me. Yeah, Well, I. I mean, I don't keep a lot of secrets, but, like, the dog thing is kind of weird because I definitely mentioned that a dog lives in my.

[A]

You definitely did not mentioned a dog. So Blake is a weirdly. Well, he's a gatekeeper, and he.

[B]

Wait a minute.

[A]

You're very secret. Okay. And there's a lot of secrets. I just know that there's some deep, dark secrets.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And I know you're probably not going to reveal it because your father, Tim, is here, but there's. Tim. Your son's a freak. There's a gate, and he's got some deep, dark secrets that he's not letting us know about.

[B]

Furry Juggalo.

[A]

I knew it. I knew it.

[B]

But I'm predominantly Juggalo.

[F]

Okay, there it is.

[C]

There it is.

[F]

There it is. So we know everything.

[A]

My boy Alex with three X's, wants to know when was the last boner you had in public.

[B]

Guys, these questions.

[A]

But also. Alex, what do you mean? Like, the last one we had in public? I had one when I saw the thunder from down under. Yeah, rip it off, all that. I told you.

[F]

Dude, is that a boomerang in your pants? I'm still gonna send it.

[A]

I mean, no, I, I. I mean, I don't know.

[F]

Know.

[A]

I was speaking for myself. I get boners all the time. Like, the wind. Like, the wind can gust just right, and suddenly I'm fully erect. Sure. I'm a dude.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Good for you, man. I'm hyped for you.

[A]

The.

[F]

When the wind blows, so to speak. Yeah, I'm just trying to remember the last direction I had at 44. Oh.

[E]

Oh.

[A]

And you're that old. Dude, you're old as. And that's old.

[B]

I don't know.

[F]

I don't think I get public erections.

[A]

You don't?

[D]

I guess.

[F]

You know. You know what it is when I fly, when they're like, boom, we've landed. Everyone stand up. Now. Then I have one that's like a weird. Doesn't that happen to everybody? Wait, what is it? It's like when you're playing hide and seek, and as soon as you hide, you're like, I got a.

[A]

Sure, I like.

[F]

It's like, I like dirt.

[A]

Brings up a thing. Have you played hide and seek recently?

[F]

Yeah, I have three children.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

All right.

[F]

I'm constantly hiding from them. They're scaring me. They're bigger than me now.

[B]

Wait, are you saying maybe it's an altitude thing? You're saying you get a boner as soon as you land?

[F]

No. Yes.

[B]

Maybe it's the air when you land.

[F]

And then you're like, boom. Get your bag.

[A]

Yeah, it's Pavlovian. Maybe.

[F]

I don't know.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then you reach for the bag.

[F]

And you're like, sorry, lady.

[A]

Hey.

[B]

And then she's like.

[A]

Damn it.

[F]

I'm feeling wood.

[B]

Yes. And I'm feeling.

[E]

What?

[B]

I'll give you some points for that.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Points. Okay. Michael and Tiff Hefner.

[C]

They.

[A]

They.

[F]

The Hefner. We're the Hefner's.

[B]

Half them if you got them, baby.

[A]

They ask if your moms were in a porno.

[B]

What more.

[F]

Adam picks these questions out of the bunch, by the way.

[A]

No, I did not. Yes, he does. Anna did. This is weird today.

[F]

It's weird what's happening right now.

[A]

And you had to name it. What would the title be?

[B]

Sorry, what was the question? One more time.

[A]

If your mom.

[B]

Wait, I gotta hear this. Church, please.

[A]

If your moms were in a porno and you had to name it, what would the title be?

[B]

Wait, so we're saying. We're saying all of our moms are in a porno?

[C]

Porno.

[F]

Blake, just.

[A]

Yes, that's right.

[F]

These people want to go watch.

[B]

I didn't know if it's, like, the name of my mom's porno. The name of your mom's porno, or if it's all of our.

[A]

Together predominantly your scissor sisters, Penny D. Penny's D. That's a good one. Okay, well, no, this is a Good. No, let's think about this. Okay. So your mother was a dental hygienist.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, dude, you do. Listen, open wide's great.

[A]

Yes. Pennies D. Pennies D. Mine would be.

[F]

I'm sorry. I can't think. You're sitting that way, so I can't think about anything. I saw. I said. I said raw Realtor, because I don't want to think about anything other than, like, her job and then, like, some.

[E]

Some.

[F]

Very.

[A]

Well, you know, we've said this before on the podcast. It must suck to be a realtor right now because there's, like, very specific realtor porn.

[F]

It's almost all realtors and sister brothers.

[B]

Yeah, well, step, step, step.

[F]

I would hate to. To be a stepsister right now. Must be a nightmare, because every kid's like, I guess we're doing this.

[B]

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were stuck under the table.

[A]

Oh, wait, you're not stuck in the laundry machine.

[E]

My bad.

[A]

Honestly, I'll say it. Hornos have gotten disgusting.

[B]

Yeah, it used to be art.

[F]

You're over.

[B]

Back when Mr. Bean was making them.

[A]

So who can drive an F1 race car? The best slash fastest. Fastest. Not Blake.

[B]

No, I know.

[A]

Notoriously bad driver. Slow and bad, too.

[B]

Slow and bad. Just slow and I don't know where I'm going. That's not bad.

[F]

Yeah, I remember. Would you drive past him on the way to work?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

You'd be driving to work, and then you would just see Blake, like, in the, like, shoulder lane cruiser.

[A]

And also, sometimes. Sometimes he'd be smoking a cigarette.

[B]

That was, like, after a day of.

[A]

Work, and he doesn't smoke cigarettes. And then I. We'd live together, and I'd be like, yo, were you smoking cigarettes? And he's like, yeah. I'm like, I'm trying it out. And by the way, we were 32 years old.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm like, what do you mean you're trying it out? He's like, yeah, I don't know. I just thought maybe I'd give it a shot. And I'm like, this is not the time. You try it out, dude.

[E]

Right.

[A]

So it's between durs and I, and, I mean, I think I'm more willing to die to win, so I think I would be.

[F]

Yeah, I go with that.

[A]

Better at it. Because you have to be crazy in order to do it.

[B]

See, you being pretty good.

[A]

Who was your celebrity hall pass the last time you were single? Well, Kevin L. The way hall passes work.

[F]

Yeah, but we know you're not single.

[A]

When you have one.

[F]

The last time I said it was Laura Winslow.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

When you're single from Family Matters, and it was 1997.

[E]

Wow.

[A]

Good year, Laura Winslow.

[B]

Did I do that?

[F]

I wish.

[A]

I wish. I wish you.

[F]

Dude, I predominantly would have.

[B]

I think. I think mine is always Rihanna, and I don't think it's ever gonna happen.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

Please don't drop the music.

[E]

God.

[F]

Is that her?

[A]

That is her. Please don't stop the music.

[F]

Do you have it?

[A]

Yeah. No. I would say mine was also Rihanna, and Chloe very much likes that choice because she's like, rihanna's not you.

[F]

Right.

[B]

You're the exact opposite of ASAP, Rocky.

[A]

There's not even a small part of me that's like, asap, Rocky.

[F]

You know what's cool is, like, I used to be like, oh, Eve for sure. And then she, like, married some dork, and I was like, damn.

[D]

My God.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[F]

Woulda, could have, should have.

[A]

Damn.

[E]

I'll.

[F]

I'll hide her apple juice.

[A]

That could have.

[E]

Actually.

[B]

Always. One of my favorite parts about the Workaholics episode Temptress, where we're like, she takes nerds. Oh, we had a shot, dude.

[F]

I don't remember the show, but.

[A]

Yeah, that's cool that you remember episodes of the show. Dude, I don't remember.

[E]

Really.

[F]

True to life.

[A]

People will sometimes, like, say, like, a quote to me, like, if we're at a bar, whatever, and they'll come up and say some very specific. And I just think they're trying. They. They. That they've had some sort of stroke, Right. And they've wandered off from their table, and they just said something to someone, and I'm like, oh, buddy, we got to find your. Your wife. You seem like you're in trouble right now. We got to call the. Are you smelling burnt toast? What's going on?

[B]

Loose butth.

[A]

Sophie Kramer says, anybody heard from G Money lately?

[B]

Oh, that's a reference to.

[A]

Yeah. G Money was a guy that lived across the street from us, from Blake and I when we lived together before we lived in the Workaholics, and he was this very cool black gentleman.

[F]

Predominantly.

[A]

Predominantly black gentleman. And he had a chain that had. That was it. It was a diamond chain that. With a G. And then the money signs that go through it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And he went by G Money. And when we decided that we were moving on and we're going to move into the Workaholics house, he. We're packing up our stuff, and he comes over and he's like, yo, you All y' all moving out? And this is a good impression. I'm not being racist. He's like, yeah, yeah, it's a good impression. He's like, y' all moving out? And I'm like, yeah, we're moving out.

[B]

You.

[A]

And he goes, man, that sucks. I'll see y' all on Broadway.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

And then you did, like, a little kiss.

[B]

Like a. Yeah, it's cool that he thought we were Broadway actors, because we were definitely filming skits.

[A]

Yeah, we were filming skits in the alleyway.

[B]

And he's like. Like Guitar Hero videos.

[E]

He's like, yeah, you're gonna end up.

[F]

In Broadway, G Money. I mean, what a lifeline for you guys, because you guys had your car broken into. Subwoofer woofer stolen.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

And he got it back.

[E]

He did.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

He was like.

[B]

He ran the.

[F]

I'll get it back.

[B]

He ran the block, rang the alarm. Give it up for G. G Money was the man.

[A]

No, he literally goes. We're, like, looking at the broken glass the next morning, by the way, I slept through all of this.

[F]

The.

[A]

The window is, like, right against the driveway where all this happened. Big sleeper had woken up, and instead of going outside or yelling or being like, get away from my car, he held on to a samurai sword and looked out of a window as they stole his subwoofers.

[B]

It's true.

[F]

That's.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Well, I need.

[F]

He lit the house on fire. Hoping the fire department.

[B]

Can you imagine how poorly that could have gone if I challenged the guy with the samurai?

[F]

Just a circle back to you.

[A]

You just turn the lights on and, like, scream out the window and be like. You, like, lower your voice and be like, get out of here. You know, you say, I've got huge balls. I'll come after you. Yeah, I'm holding a samurai sword or something. Because if you use your voice, he's going to continue robbing.

[B]

Stop it. He's like, oh, my God. Elmo's mad.

[F]

Yeah, right?

[B]

Oh, my God. Hey, drop it, buddy.

[A]

I actually went back maybe a year ago, and I'm showing Chloe the old neighborhood, and I'm like, yeah, we lived right here.

[C]

G Money.

[A]

And I'm telling her all the stories. And then we pull up, and G was sitting outside.

[B]

G. Now we call him G, right?

[A]

Yeah, it was short.

[F]

He lost all the money.

[A]

All the money. And he's sitting there, and. And I pull up, and I'm talking to Chloe, and I go, hey. Oh, my God, there's G Money. And I go, yo, G Money. And he Goes, what? And I drove away so quick, dude.

[F]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

So I think he's doing well, but Broadway. Yeah.

[F]

I do love that he would just be washing Rolls Royces.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

In the driveway of his house across from your guys.

[A]

Yeah. He was very cool. He would. He'd pull up and be like, what size. What size shoes you is? And I'm like 10. And he'd be like, coming to my garage. And then you go to his garage.

[F]

Accurate impression.

[A]

It's a good impression. Not really impression. And you go in, and he just has, like, a wall of Nikes, and he's like, pick out a few shoes, and there were $20 a pair, and he got him legitimately. So.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

There was nothing illegal about it, I don't think.

[F]

Good, dude.

[B]

Gotcha.

[A]

Would you ever move in together again? Says M.W. upland in a heartbeat. We have to.

[B]

Yeah. At some point, we're gonna have.

[D]

Dude.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's cool. I mean, that's. The next show we do is we build a house.

[F]

It's got urinals and everything.

[A]

Our wives leave us and take the kids, take our money.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

We just do naked.

[B]

What happened to at F1? Did not stay there, bro.

[F]

We're naked in the woods in those shirts just. Just tied around.

[A]

We're naked in our studio apartment and.

[B]

Afraid naked, and we're gay.

[A]

Sup, boys? Faith. Cocktail.

[B]

What is it?

[F]

Favorite cocktail. Favorite? I want to hear Blake's.

[A]

So. So fave is short for favorite.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

Spell favorite.

[B]

That's easy. Margarita all day.

[E]

Come on.

[A]

I love a margarita.

[G]

That.

[F]

That's a good one. God damn it. You know, tonight I had a good time here at the Cosmopolitan, and I drank a Cosmopolitan.

[E]

Hey.

[A]

Really? What is a Cosmopolitan? I heard you order that.

[F]

It's a wet, pink one.

[A]

Fair enough. A wet, pink one.

[F]

I don't know what it is.

[A]

Vodka based.

[F]

It might. Yeah, I think it is.

[A]

It is. Yeah.

[C]

Seems real.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

I go. I like to go. I like to go. Give me a dirty martini.

[B]

There we go.

[A]

Okie doy. Vodka. And then they go, jin or vodka? And then I'm always like, vodka.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I go, make it sloppy. O. I like it extra dirty. And then we. And then we have a laugh, right? Me and the waiter, like, sloppy. Coming up. It. It's fun.

[F]

It's fun.

[A]

Hey, Matt, Good question.

[F]

I think. I don't know. It's definitely not a Cosmopolitan for me, but it has tonight. I think I'm such trash.

[A]

Yeah, you are.

[F]

I'll just do, like, Jack and ginger ale.

[A]

Solid choice. Yeah, it's a party starter, you know.

[F]

I don't want to be up all night, you know.

[A]

Yeah, that's a solid choice.

[F]

You know, I gotta wake up early.

[A]

I do find myself, like, the older I get, the more like, old fashioned. Whenever they come around with it. Old fashioned where, like the smoke comes out of it. I, I like sit up in my chair.

[F]

Yeah. It's almost that season.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Where I'm, I'm, I'm putting a little.

[A]

The older you get, the more like the, the Woodford oldfashion. You're like, yeah, I just want to party. And my chin drooped three sizes that day.

[E]

There we go.

[A]

Do you take a. Every morning? What the hell? Yeah, you sick?

[F]

You guys, don't make us do this. This is, Is this what we're doing? Yes. Every morning, hopefully two. I take one. Fifteen minutes later, I do another one.

[B]

What the hell you're asking?

[F]

You're asking, I'm telling.

[E]

2.

[F]

And you know what happens? You know, after the second one, I'm feel.

[E]

Good.

[A]

I joked earlier about how I take every time I'm in the bathroom taking a 45 minute, I'm jerking off, but honestly. Yeah, I'm. Guys, I so often. I, I like five times a day.

[F]

And this is the. So yes, in the morning and then later. And then later.

[A]

Yes, I'm very regular. Almost too regular.

[F]

Blake, do you have an answer?

[B]

I don't.

[A]

I believe that.

[F]

Okay.

[A]

Because he doesn't eat and it's a problem.

[G]

Thank you.

[A]

So this goes. This person did not write their name, but they said, has the pinky ever tasted bad?

[B]

I don't know what that means.

[F]

When we do our handshake, you.

[A]

Friendship. Nope. Friendship.

[F]

Tastes like even. Not even a little.

[A]

Yeah. Tastes like his every time.

[F]

By the way, this is the way. And by the way, I, I, I really pulled one on that one just now. Did that feel different?

[A]

Yeah, you really slurped that one down.

[C]

Pizza.

[F]

Pizza.

[A]

That's the exact size of my. What's that? Isabel K. Says, did baby Nooch ever new a check ever give you all your bags of weed? So here's a backstory. Kyle's brother, Kyle Newicheck is our. Our ex friend.

[F]

Hold up.

[A]

Who used to sit here. Who we used to love and appreciate. Now he's dead to us. Freaking see us his break dance. Yeah. Where's Carl, his brother? We were in at the Bay Area, right.

[B]

San Jose.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And someone gave us a truckload of weed. Like duffel bags full of weed.

[F]

A Bag this big.

[A]

And. And, yes. Like, multiple bags. And he goes, I'm going to take these home and I'm going to give these to you. And we're like, thank you.

[D]

Thank you.

[A]

And then he did, because he is of the new check variety. And they are betrayers and backstabbers.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

Freaking see you. They just. If there's an angle, they're gonna find it.

[E]

They are. They are.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[F]

Thank you.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

There you go. Thank you.

[B]

Thank you for standing up for us.

[A]

That person said Kyle.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

And I hope he listens to the podcast and cries when he hears this. From a male's perspective, what is the best quality in a future wife? Yeah.

[F]

All right. From a male perspective.

[E]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Of our wives.

[A]

Yeah. No, a best quality in a future wife.

[B]

In a future wife. Sense of humor.

[D]

Titties.

[B]

Titties.

[F]

I can't argue that. From a male perspective, you gotta have a perspective, predominantly male.

[B]

Got to have a good sense of humor.

[A]

Yeah. Ass. Titties. From a male perspective. Blowjob game strong. From a male perspective.

[F]

Let me call my wife. I need you guys to. A good quality.

[A]

Well, I would say being loving and caring and kind are all. And a good sense of humor, but that's not funny. But my wife, last night, we. We go. We go out and we go to some nightclub, and five minutes before this, she was like, adam, I don't want to go. I'm just so tired. It's 10:30. She's like, I'm so tired. I just want to go to bed. And I'm like, we have to go out.

[C]

It's 10:30.

[A]

We're not going to go to bed right now. We're going out and, like. And then we go to the club, and she's like, drop it low. And it got wild to where people are, like, looking at me, being like, you. You want. You want to handle your wife?

[B]

Get your girl.

[A]

And I'm like, you're free. Go fly in the wind. Because I love it. I love when you just let it shake.

[E]

Chloe.

[A]

Chloe, come up here and show them. Come up here and show them. Come up here. Come on, come on, come on, come on.

[B]

I just want to party.

[F]

Come on and join the now, boy.

[A]

Come on, come on. Okay. Come on out.

[B]

They're calling for you.

[A]

I was intoxicating.

[B]

Please don't stop the.

[A]

This is Chloe Divine, everybody.

[B]

Please don't stop the music.

[A]

Chloe Divine, everyone. Look at her. Doesn't she look like girl? Like perfect wife material?

[B]

Absolutely. She's beautiful.

[A]

Perfect wife material. She's wearing a chunky sweater.

[E]

Y.

[A]

She's not shaking her butt cheeks for anybody until.

[B]

What? What?

[E]

What?

[B]

You're going to have to really wait.

[A]

She's not going to shake her ass for anyone.

[B]

Sorry, Chloe.

[A]

She's not going to dance. She's not. She's not going to drop it low.

[F]

Right. This will be worth it.

[A]

She definitely isn't.

[F]

This will be worth.

[A]

Right.

[C]

All right.

[B]

That was awesome, Chloe. That was really awesome.

[A]

That was very, very sweet.

[B]

I've never been more proud.

[F]

That was awesome.

[A]

That was nice.

[B]

Hello, dog.

[A]

And you know when your wife doesn't want to do something in front of a large crowd and you make her do it?

[E]

Adam.

[A]

Yeah, that usually bodes well.

[B]

Adam, any takebacks?

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Thank you. Did you know Vegas did it like this?

[B]

Oh, I didn't know Vegas did it like this.

[F]

The damn.

[A]

Did you know Vegas did it like this?

[B]

But I'm starting to learn. I had no clue. And that's definitely what I'm gonna say for the next three months.

[A]

No, I cannot wait until we get drunk after the show and Blake's gonna be like, I didn't know Vegas did it like this.

[B]

We are all getting drunk after the show, right? Yeah.

[F]

But he'll be alone, just on the street, talking to himself, looking around.

[A]

Know.

[F]

I didn't know.

[A]

He's just in. He's just in, like, a shitty Vegas kiosk buying sunglasses drunk to him. So, like, I don't know Vegas did it like this.

[F]

The guy working there's like, I don't know, man. You buy or you go, go.

[A]

Not racist. Good impression.

[B]

I just get. I just get hit by an F1 car.

[F]

Just mister.

[B]

What was he turning the spray into?

[E]

Red spray.

[A]

Now this is a good one from Kevin B. Was Kyle always water trash or did he used to be normal water trash?

[B]

Born and raised, nor cal baby trash.

[F]

You know, we say he's water trash. Then I went to his house and I was like, this dude had a normal ass, nice upbringing.

[B]

He is cleaning up. He directed Happy Gilmore, too. And now he said, yeah, right? Pretty crazy. Pretty crazy.

[F]

He was playing golf today.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Not very trashy. Not very trashy. Are there any takebacks, any apologies, any epic slams here, boys? These people have some drinking to go do.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

[F]

Yeah. Like, I want to take back. Trying to do a handstand, throwing out my back fully.

[B]

That really messed you up?

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

And then I just have one slam. I just slammed about three and a half ounces.

[C]

Yeah, dude.

[A]

Wow, dude, that's wild, man.

[F]

No no, but it's Bud Light. But. But it's Bud Light.

[A]

Yeah, that's true. That's the superior drinkability.

[F]

Crazier.

[A]

Yeah. No. I would say the only bummer that I had tonight. I stand by everything, including forcing my wife to come on stage, which she didn't want to, would be. I kind of thought we were gonna see the Thunder from Down under his dicks jiggle.

[B]

You did.

[A]

And that's why I kind of whipped my dick out and jiggled it. And you would think I'd be ashamed, but nah. Yeah, you saw all five and a half inches. Did you whip your dick out and I wiggled.

[F]

I didn't even see that.

[E]

Hey. Yeah.

[B]

Special shout out to Thunder from Down Under. That was pretty cool. That's pretty hyped on that.

[A]

That was pretty cool.

[B]

And I guess I'd like to apologize anytime I. To my father. Anytime I started a story, I started with their word coming.

[E]

And it.

[B]

I feel like we're gonna have a discussion later tonight. And I. I really am sorry. You're embarrassing you publicly.

[A]

Poor Tim. He's left. He's gambling here. Yeah. He's left this place.

[F]

People are like, oh, you. Blake's dad. He's like, no, no, Allegedly, not me.

[A]

Well, Las Vegas, it seems like we did it.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

We want to say thank you all for coming out.

[F]

Yes.

[A]

This was an absolute blast.

[F]

Absolutely. This was another episode of this is Important.

[B]

Oh, hell yeah, baby. Las Vegas. Let me hear you scream. Las Vegas, Nevada. Good night.

[F]

We love you.

[B]

We love you, Las Vegas.

[F]

Thank you, Vegas.

[E]

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