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Adam Devine
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Blake Anderson
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Adam Devine
Oh yeah, now that's a good investment for your stomach. What can you even buy with 10 bucks these days anyway?
Blake Anderson
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Adam Devine
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Blake Anderson
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Adam Devine
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Ders
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Ders
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Adam Devine
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Ders
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Adam Devine
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Ders
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Adam Devine
Welcome to this is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what is most obviously very crucially important. Today on this Is Important.
Ders
Let me get some ice out of your butt crack.
Adam Devine
We're kind of doing the tight thing right now, dude, by, like, freaking partying and drinking beer.
Blake Anderson
Nah, you're not gonna get me with that.
Adam Devine
Let's go. That shit's important.
Blake Anderson
Boys are bad Legalized comedy. Everybody's coming.
Adam Devine
What's up, fellas?
Blake Anderson
Not much. What' with you, Epstein files?
Adam Devine
How is that how you open the show, dude?
Blake Anderson
What's up with you, dude? What's up with you, dude?
Adam Devine
Epstein, you bring it up. Every single pod.
Blake Anderson
Well, because I know you're in them. Because I know you're in them, dude,
Adam Devine
there's no way Elite. I'm not that elite. I'm not that elite.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, none of us are, dude.
Ders
None of us are funny. Epstein story. Oh, God.
Adam Devine
Go again.
Ders
Today I get lunch with he who Shall Not Be Named Voldemort.
Blake Anderson
Oh. Jessine Maxwell. Jizzling close.
Ders
Kyle. New A check.
Blake Anderson
Okay. Speaking of it, we're sitting.
Ders
We're sitting at, like, an outdoor table. It's a little chilly here with the only people outdoors at this, like, cafe getting some brunch water trash. And this guy walks up and I go, hey, look. Looks like Kevin Etten. And it kind of did.
Blake Anderson
Kevin Etten was the showrunner of Workaholics.
Ders
Showrunner of Workaholics.
Adam Devine
Very, very funny. Very.
Blake Anderson
For people that don't know, this is inside baseball. Very funny, man. Wrote Anaconda.
Adam Devine
Wrote Anaconda.
Public Investing Announcer
The.
Adam Devine
The new one, not the old one.
Ders
And Kyle clocks the dude walking up, and he comes up to, like, a door that's locked, and he goes, is it closed? And I'm like, no, it's open. You just have to go to this door behind me. And he goes, okay, how about the latest with the Epstein files, huh?
Blake Anderson
Oh, Kyle's in deep, isn't he?
Ders
No, no, no, no, no, no. The guy. The guy.
Blake Anderson
What guy?
Adam Devine
At the door. Sorry.
Ders
The guy who walked up that looks like Kevin Netten.
Blake Anderson
This is the story that you decided to open the podcast?
Adam Devine
Well, you said Epstein.
Ders
You said Epstein. What are we talking about here? See ya.
Blake Anderson
Well, I was zip zap zopping. I could just tell Blake's eyes that he's Always thinking of Epstein.
Ders
I'm yet. And I'm yes.
Adam Devine
Anding.
Ders
And I'm yes. Anding.
Blake Anderson
Okay, so sorry. Sorry.
Adam Devine
Jersey is riding your way. This is your wave.
Ders
Thank you.
Adam Devine
Welcome to your show.
Blake Anderson
Thanks.
Ders
And Adam, off a pod afterwards, let me know what stories to tell. This guy walks up, door locked or closed? No door open over here. Oh, thanks. How about the latest with these Epstein files?
Adam Devine
Okay.
Ders
Kyle just goes, huh? I'm like, this dude just out. Kyled Kyle, right?
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Ders
And then Kyle goes, I don't know. He goes, have you seen it? Are you guys paying attention? You've seen the latest? And Kyle's like, a little. We're thrown. This dude's coming in.
Blake Anderson
Why? Why are you so thrown? Why are people so afraid to talk about Epstein?
Adam Devine
That's a weird thing for a stranger.
Ders
Adam. Adam, you're saying what comes next?
Adam Devine
Yeah, he goes.
Ders
Kyle's like, I don't know. He's like, what do you mean you don't know? You don't care? And, like, I turn around, full, full me. And I just go, you know, I haven't seen my buddy in a real long time, and I'd really like to just continue the conversation we're having.
Adam Devine
Did you say, wait, did you say confin you first? Or did you say continue?
Ders
I said both. And then he goes, oh, interesting. You don't want to talk about the Epstein files, huh?
Adam Devine
This is a stranger at the door.
Ders
This is a stranger on the street.
Adam Devine
This isn't Kevin.
Blake Anderson
This is a curb your enthusiasm character.
Ders
And then he goes. He goes like. He's like, why are you. Are you scared about the. Not satanism. He goes, lu. Luciferism or lu. Lucifer ology or some shit. And Kyle's like. Kyle's like, I don't. I don't really know anything. We're just trying to have some brunch here.
Blake Anderson
Say it.
Ders
And then I was wearing, like, an arch tail terex hat. And he goes, my man. You know who wears arc teryx hats? Huh?
Adam Devine
What?
Ders
Secret service under undercover agents. And I was like, all right, I'm
Blake Anderson
trying to have brunch with this guy.
Adam Devine
Dude, this guy is cool.
Ders
I actually like this guy. Yeah, I know, man.
Adam Devine
He's, like, dressing you down.
Ders
Yeah. I mean, maybe in his weird universe for sure. He goes in the restaurant, and then through the window, he's just enchiladas. He points at me as he walks.
Adam Devine
Okay, this guy is a craz. An absolute insane person.
Ders
Off the wall.
Blake Anderson
Was he. Did he look totally normal? And yeah, clothes is.
Adam Devine
What was he wearing?
Ders
He. He looked. He looked seemingly normal.
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Ders
But, like, look, I'm sure if I. If I got, like, anymore, I had five minutes to just look at this guy over. He. He appeared normal. He looked like our buddy Kevin. And so then Kevin pointing at me as he walks to the restaurant. And then he just goes out the front door. So doesn't eat at the restaurant.
Adam Devine
Oh, yeah.
Ders
And then walks past outside, past me, and, like, is pointing at me.
Adam Devine
I'm.
Ders
I'm ready. I'm, like, looking at my. Oh, I'm. I'm not to fight to defend my life. Fuck. I like him. I'm ready to fuck this Kevin Net look like I'm sizing up utensils on the table. I'm ready to just grab a fucking knife. I'm like, this dude was unbelievable vibes.
Blake Anderson
What's Kyle doing?
Ders
And the cool.
Blake Anderson
The cool thing of that story is the people working in the restaurant will be like, yeah, this guy was, like, pressing them about Epstein. And then Ders got so scared.
Ders
That's interesting.
Blake Anderson
That he grabbed a knife and stabbed them.
Ders
That's interesting.
Adam Devine
I wish he would have, man.
Blake Anderson
So maybe he's in the files.
Ders
And by the way, I was just like, I just don't want to talk about it with you. I'm trying to talk to my buddy.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, that's all you are going to talk to your buddy about, but not with this stranger.
Ders
That's all we want to clear our names.
Blake Anderson
That's all you want to talk about.
Ders
It's a necessity. But, dude, the right out of the gate, watching Kyle be out, Kyled. And he was like, I hope that guy doesn't know who we are, because all you guys talk about is how I eat babies and stuff.
Adam Devine
Yeah, no, Kyle's. Kyle is not about that life when it really. When push comes to shove, he's not about that life.
Blake Anderson
I know, but he's, what, fighting a man or.
Adam Devine
No, just like, truly going down the rabbit hole. I do think Kyle has common sense. I do think he is a normal human.
Blake Anderson
Oh, sure.
Adam Devine
As soon as he is. Is presented with a true, like, wormhole dude. He cowers.
Blake Anderson
He cows.
Ders
Yeah.
Adam Devine
Which as we all should. As we all should.
Ders
But also just like a science experiment.
Blake Anderson
He all. He did go a little qanon during the pandemic. He did.
Adam Devine
Well, the pandemic was.
Ders
Well, he was technically. He was Q and A.
Blake Anderson
He is cute.
Ders
If we were. If you watch the documentary, it's the same guy.
Adam Devine
Yes, he looks exactly.
Ders
But dude, total just, like, psychological experiment where you're Like, I guess if you're this guy who has probably had something absolutely horrible happened to him that has made him the guy who goes up to strangers and just opens with that. I'm sure this is, like, the biggest thing that's ever happened to him because he's like, I told you, this is the thing.
Public Investing Announcer
Freaking.
Blake Anderson
See, you see, I also think L. A is a weird place, and L.
Adam Devine
A. L. A is a very weird place. You must remember that.
Ders
The weirdest.
Blake Anderson
And here's why. He maybe was a failed actor or a writer who is putting on a character and going out the way they do, the way they tell you to do.
Ders
Right.
Blake Anderson
In acting class, they're like, put the character on. You are this person for an afternoon and go test it out. And they would tell you that in improv class and an acting class to, like, be a different person, put on a different skin.
Ders
He's higher.
Adam Devine
Walk about.
Blake Anderson
And then this guy, weirdly, his different character is very much about the absence is. Is pressing people on their knowledge of the files.
Adam Devine
Miles Teller. Was it Miles Teller in. In character?
Ders
My. I mean, he gave me whiplash.
Blake Anderson
Oh, hello.
Adam Devine
Hello.
Blake Anderson
Why? Because Miles is such a great actor? Is that what you're saying?
Ders
Yeah, he was in a movie called Whiplash. Yes, Points.
Blake Anderson
Well, I know. I know what you're.
Ders
No, but he has a top gun. He was. He was a real maverick. He was in this movie called. No, but was he Elvis?
Blake Anderson
I hope he lives for eternity. That's his newest movie. No one saw it.
Ders
Was he Elvis ever? He should have been.
Blake Anderson
He was not. No, no, no.
Adam Devine
Would have. Should have. Little monsters could have seen that.
Ders
Real monsters.
Blake Anderson
Ah, real monsters. That was before he was alive.
Adam Devine
Fred Savage. I think that might have been Fred Savage. Do you remember Little Monsters? Do you guys remember that movie?
Blake Anderson
Yeah, yeah. That's the one with Howie Mandel, that they go under the bed.
Adam Devine
Yes, that one was truly frightening. The. The. The main bad guy, like, has the back side of his head, like, his brain exposed. That me up, dude.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, yeah, but you were a.
Ders
That was a movie you watched when you were sick, right?
Adam Devine
I. I'm. I'm always sick.
Blake Anderson
That was a. You're at home. You. You were sick. You get to. You get the clicker. Yeah, you get the power of the clicker. And then you stumble on, like, the daytime HBO that your parents would get once a year for a month, when they would give it to you for a month for free.
Adam Devine
A little sampler Pack.
Blake Anderson
Little sampler. And then all of a sudden, was it Little Monsters Is that what we're going with?
Adam Devine
Maybe it was Little monster.
Blake Anderson
Little monsters is what it's called. Little monsters.
Ders
I think it's little monsters. Little monsters, plural.
Adam Devine
The boy and the monster are.
Blake Anderson
Are monsters.
Adam Devine
Right. Isn't that the moral of the story?
Ders
Aren't we all. I mean, hey, is that we're all monsters?
Blake Anderson
Oh, and David Stern's in this movie, too.
Adam Devine
This.
Blake Anderson
This is a. A classic.
Adam Devine
Who's David Stern?
Ders
The NBA president.
Blake Anderson
Oh, sorry. Daniel. Daniel Stern. Daniel Stern.
Adam Devine
Oh, what?
Ders
Daniel Stern is the dad.
Blake Anderson
Daniel Stern is the father in this movie. So if you don't know, this is a really cool, very weird 1989. So it's old, the makeup, and essentially this monster lives underneath the bed. He catches him in his room, he's like, yo, come with me. In the underneath world, he goes with him. I don't know, really remember the plot
Ders
because he's getting bullied in the real world. He's like, I'm sick and tired of the real world. I want to go where you're from.
Adam Devine
I think.
Ders
I don't know. I don't know.
Adam Devine
I think most 89 to 90s movies were about little boys getting bullied and how to overcome that.
Ders
Yeah, yeah. Karate.
Blake Anderson
And then in the by 90s, the kids figured out it's guns.
Adam Devine
Just shoot them.
Blake Anderson
Let's just shoot them. Don't. Don't even use your imagination.
Ders
And.
Adam Devine
And honestly, you want to see my little monster? Yeah.
Blake Anderson
Then. Then all of a sudden. Yeah, Then all of a sudden, it got a little real. Video games got too good is what happens. And it ruined the youth of America. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Adam Devine
It was the first person shooters really up our. Our children. And it does suck. We used to get our aggression out with puppetry and makeup and imagination, but then that all stopped. And that is.
Ders
That all stops. But Howie Mandel, he was like a cool monster. He had, like, high tops on.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, he was right.
Ders
And like a cool jean vest.
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Adam Devine
A little earring. He had a little. Yeah, he was so cool, dude.
Ders
It was almost before. Was it before or after Aladdin? Because it reminds me of the same kind of thing.
Adam Devine
It was before Aladdin.
Blake Anderson
It was before Aladdin, but only a few years.
Ders
So do we think Aladdin ripped it off a blue guy who's really, like, fast and funny?
Blake Anderson
You know what? That was probably. This came out in 89, so they filmed it in 88, and then Aladdin came out in 92, which means they were working on it the previous four years or so. Yeah, I bet it was a. I Bet it was a green genie, right? Oh, yeah. Then all of a sudden, little monsters comes out and they go, oh.
Adam Devine
They're like, it's testing.
Blake Anderson
Well, let's get the eraser.
Adam Devine
Squish, Squish, Squish, Squish. Well, do you remember when, like, it used to be, like, movies, like, identical movies would come out at the same time just to confuse kids?
Ders
Dude, I remember. I remember.
Adam Devine
I think we may have talked about this.
Blake Anderson
Was it. It was like Wyatt Earp and Tombstone came out, like, within days.
Adam Devine
Yeah. And I feel like the movie theaters got sales just because people were like, I think I want to see that movie because that's the one they're talking about.
Ders
It's a which one y' all kick me situation.
Adam Devine
It was a very rush hour.
Ders
Which one of y' all flicked me?
Adam Devine
Exactly. Exactly.
Blake Anderson
Hung out with Chris Tucker the other night, by the way.
Adam Devine
Oh, he's in the Epstein files.
Blake Anderson
It's science.
Ders
Save it.
Blake Anderson
Oh, I actually think.
Ders
No, I know that now.
Adam Devine
That I actually am willing to bring up. I don't. I wouldn't just open the pod being like, Epstein files, but, like, that is worthy of talking about.
Ders
But why not?
Blake Anderson
Yeah, it's weird that you don't. Are you afraid? Are you really afraid they're going to release more fun?
Ders
It's not like we're random guys on the street who are coming up to you being like, did you hear the latest? We're your best friends who love and support you no matter what. Almost.
Blake Anderson
And we refuse to get in the same room.
Adam Devine
Okay. Why were you hanging out with. With.
Blake Anderson
I wasn't hanging out. I wasn't hanging out.
Ders
Chris Tucker.
Blake Anderson
I wasn't hanging out, but I was at the NBA All Star Slam dunk competition.
Adam Devine
There we go. Get them.
Ders
Boy, that must have been the whole damn list.
Adam Devine
That deserves a. That's cool. That's cool. You got to see all those players that nobody knows their names do slam dunks.
Blake Anderson
Dude, what was that even about? The three? What sucked is the three point contest was way more interesting and fun.
Adam Devine
Yeah, Jackson.
Ders
Was Jackson Hayes in the slam dunk contest?
Adam Devine
Yeah. Who? Shout out Jackson Hayes. We did with Jackson. He's the man.
Ders
What a freak athlete.
Adam Devine
I know he's a fan of the show because one time I went to a Laker game and he geeked out on me and I was like, oh, this is the homie right here, Jackson Hayes. Shout out. I would love him on the warriors as well. He's a very good player. Young talent.
Ders
Okay. I don't know if what do they call that?
Blake Anderson
Okay, so the. The looks like Kishad Johnson, he came out with E40.
Adam Devine
Yes.
Blake Anderson
And they were fucking throwing it down. E40 was also sitting by me. Yeah, you're so lucky. Yeah, dude, it was pretty sick. And then Carter Bryant, he's a Spurs. Like none of these guys. And no offense, no offense. These guys are not the stars of the league. And that's what we want to see. We want to see the stars. Or at least. And maybe I'll bite my tongue in a few years when these guys become the big stars. But. But when. When Blake Griffin, he did it as a rookie and he won as a rookie.
Ders
Star.
Blake Anderson
But you knew he was going to be a star. Yes, he already was a star. Wasn't like, he was already was a star.
Ders
And this is how maybe Lob said he wasn't a thing yet, but he was like jumping out the gym.
Blake Anderson
Yes.
Adam Devine
He was acting like it was an and one mixtape. It was dope.
Blake Anderson
Like some of these dunks, you're like, I mean, I couldn't do any of this. But you're like, but if you.
Ders
But if you had a week, if you had a week to try, I.
Blake Anderson
I also, I don't know if you saw I was kicking with my boy Mugsy Bugs, saw that I tower over and I've never felt better about something.
Ders
Yeah, you did this to him. The too short sign. Yeah, he was like, we just hopped
Blake Anderson
over top of me. No, but Mugsy Bogue slam dong competition. Yeah. Dwarfed what any of these guys did.
Adam Devine
Literally dwarfed. Literally. Good work.
Ders
Stop it. Don't.
Adam Devine
Good word.
Blake Anderson
But yeah, it was. It was a bit of a disappointment that there were bigger stars.
Ders
Did you see who. I can't remember who had the take, but it was essentially. Or maybe it's like a. Out there in the ether. Take the NBA all star situation. The whole game, the whole weekend changed when Kobe stepped to LeBron and was like, let's go one on one. This is why we're here. Like, we get to do this. And there's no like game on the line. It's just us. And LeBron was like. And passed it. Just dished it off because he was like, what?
Blake Anderson
Why?
Ders
Why would we take this seriously? But dude. And then from there it's become kind of like, well, and I'm not saying LeBron couldn't have won the dunk contest. Sure, he very much could have, but what if he didn't? And what are those optics?
Blake Anderson
And it's like, see the bitch maintenance.
Ders
You just you actually have to win. You have to sign up for it because you're the face and you're. You're arguably more athletic than Jordan was. As. At your size. You have to. You have to win the dunk contest because you're LeBron.
Blake Anderson
Yes.
Adam Devine
Well, I think it's the whole argument of maybe, like, As a person, LeBron doesn't want to fail publicly. Like, so is that. I don't know.
Ders
Like, he's always. He puts his hand up to the camera when he's playing basketball.
Adam Devine
He's like, so what if everybody approached life like that? Like, I. I would rather not fail publicly. I would rather not do it. Like, you have to. Like, it's okay to fail.
Ders
Too late. Too late.
Blake Anderson
Like, it's too late. What?
Adam Devine
What?
Ders
You failed.
Blake Anderson
No, that's what I'm saying. That's the maintenance of LeBron and why he eyes. He'll never be the greatest.
Ders
Yeah. Is that one long word?
Adam Devine
Yeah. Madness is.
Blake Anderson
You have to be able to step up in those moments and dominate. Not all and. And do dominate.
Adam Devine
Okay, but.
Blake Anderson
Because you are the best.
Adam Devine
Okay, but, like, okay, remember that guy?
Blake Anderson
And if you don't beat Kobe, then he's Kobe, and you were. You were a young kid, and then you. Your own lady.
Adam Devine
Remember that guy at the dunk contest who, like, hit the side of the backboard and, like, fell on his back? What if that was LeBron? So would that.
Ders
I guess my point is you. You just don't be that guy.
Adam Devine
Well, you never know. That's. That's. That.
Ders
That's what. But no, you do know that's what made Jordan. Jordan.
Adam Devine
Is that, like, even if that would never happen?
Ders
Kind of. Kind of.
Adam Devine
Right, right, right.
Blake Anderson
But even if it did happen, he would get up and jump from the free throw line and. And look cool when he did it.
Ders
Exactly. Something, Adam. 100% something. Or he'd come back and go. He'd go to the camera, and he'd look into the barrel of the camera to the universe, and he would say, that will never, ever happen again. And then. And then, guess what? It wouldn't.
Adam Devine
I think. I think you guys are speaking as old heads, bro. Like, Jordan didn't have social media, like, breathing down his throat. He. I don't. I don't think if he knew stuff would get out that quick that he would have done it.
Ders
Are you out of your mind?
Blake Anderson
Yes.
Adam Devine
No, I don't.
Ders
Blake, are you out of your mind? Social media is smaller than Michael Jordan. Oh, hello, Michael Jordan. If you go anywhere in the world Michael Jordan hasn't played basketball forever, but that's because I'm from Chicago. They still say Michael Jordan, but he's
Adam Devine
from a different time when we used to uplift people so high that the whole world cared. Michael Jordan, Michael Jackson. Like, these were people that the whole world cared.
Ders
I feel like Michael Jordan. Jackson didn't get lifted up. Up forever.
Adam Devine
He did. He did. Michael Jackson was the biggest star in the whole entire world.
Ders
I don't disagree.
Adam Devine
People don't. We don't uplift people that like that anymore. We would rather see them broken down.
Blake Anderson
Yes. Yes. So that makes. That makes me go even more so. Be that guy.
Adam Devine
Defy the.
Blake Anderson
That guy that steps up in the moment and isn't afraid. Who cares?
Adam Devine
Dude, I like that.
Blake Anderson
Get embarrassed.
Adam Devine
I like that.
Blake Anderson
Get embarrassed. Fall down. If you, you, by the way, if you do land on your head and slam dunk contest, you're LeBron James. You get up, you rub it off, you try it again, and hopefully you pull off something cool. I'm like, I would rather see them try and fail than not try at all. I think it's so made to be so worried about your legacy or whatever.
Adam Devine
But. So you're saying you're like team Jake Paul, where you like, get in a ring and get your. Your jaw broke in half. Half, and you, you just get smoked live.
Blake Anderson
I mean, sure, but I, but like, I'm not talking. It's not.
Adam Devine
That's the mental you're talking about.
Blake Anderson
No, no, but that's apples and oranges. Because he shouldn't have been fighting a ex world champion. Jake Paul should have, because he was asking.
Ders
Arguably.
Blake Anderson
Arguably. And they said it was a pretty good fight, but.
Adam Devine
Right. He's the best.
Blake Anderson
LeBron James should have been dunking a basketball in the All Star game.
Adam Devine
Okay.
Blake Anderson
Or the, the slam dunk contest.
Ders
The classic line is like, it' getting knocked down. It's about getting back up.
Adam Devine
Oh, very chumba.
Ders
And look. And look.
Adam Devine
Whoa.
Ders
We. We've watched. We've watched sports stars our entire lives have, like, massive fails. Right?
Adam Devine
Sure.
Ders
But it's the. It's the one. It's the ones who come back and do something greater that you're almost no longer like. Oh, yeah, they're known for that thing. It's like you forget about the thing. I'm sure Tom Brady has some whack ass just fumble bumble. What the. Like, whatever. But he. He outdid that.
Adam Devine
Yeah. When it's like, son, kiss him on the mouth. That was weird.
Blake Anderson
That was a fumble bumble.
Adam Devine
Champ kind of fumble bumble.
Ders
Was that. Is that a fumble bumble to you?
Adam Devine
I don't know, bro. It was a weird kid.
Ders
But, you know, I'm saying, like, Jordan's missed shots, but then he made more.
Blake Anderson
He.
Ders
He worked hard to not miss the shots.
Blake Anderson
But we are defending Jordan a lot. And I don't know if you guys just saw the video of Jordan, like, grabbing the little boy's butt a lot.
Adam Devine
No, don't spread that. Don't spread that. It was.
Ders
It was already.
Adam Devine
No, it was already debunked, dude.
Blake Anderson
How was it debunked? It was an AI video.
Adam Devine
Tebow called me with this. He's like, yo, Jordan's, like, grabbing butts out here. It's not really. There was ice down this little kid's pants and he's getting it out of his pants. It's not. It's nothing to talk about.
Ders
Life hack. That's a life hack, by the way.
Blake Anderson
Let me give that eyes a child. I didn't think he was a child predator.
Adam Devine
Absolutely is not.
Ders
Not.
Adam Devine
He absolutely is not.
Blake Anderson
Yes, that's what I'm saying. I'm just saying it's funny we're defending Jordan so much when Jordan just said some. Where the video is him, like, pinching a boy's butt.
Adam Devine
It's. No, it's already. No, it's already debunked.
Ders
No, but we can defend aspects. We could defend aspects of anybody. You could defend some aspects, but then maybe.
Blake Anderson
Maybe that guy, Jeffrey Epstein. Go for it.
Ders
Hey, Jeffrey Epstein. Horrible guy.
Adam Devine
Rapist. Stop. Stop. The worst Satan.
Ders
Probably one of the best. One of the best mental manipulators of this time.
Blake Anderson
Legendary. Legendary mate. Dude, he's so good at blackmail.
Ders
He has a power. Used it for evil, Right? He used it for evil.
Adam Devine
That's an evil power. Blackmail is an evil power. You can't make that.
Ders
That's not. I didn't say. I'm saying like. I'm saying.
Blake Anderson
We didn't say it had to be a good power.
Ders
Getting people to do things.
Adam Devine
He's a super villain.
Ders
Getting people to do things is a superpower power. Steve Jobs got people to make phones this thin, right?
Adam Devine
Sure.
Ders
Jeffrey Epstein. I'm not even gonna re you. Hey, did you read the newest. Latest files?
Adam Devine
I don't know, man. No, I'm out. I just.
Ders
He went for evil. He went for evil.
Adam Devine
Done with that guy.
Blake Anderson
I don't know.
Ders
So what I'm saying is, if Jordan's getting ice out of this butt or not, he's still being.
Blake Anderson
It's not being done with that guy. That guy's dead. It's about the world needs to be
Adam Devine
done with that guy. We need to eradicate him from the history books. How?
Ders
How? Wouldn't that be nice for you to just move on?
Blake Anderson
He's dead. He's. He's eradicated. He's been eradicated.
Adam Devine
What was the. What was your word you use for LeBron? Acidness. Acidness. Out of here, dude. Yeah, I'm done with that. He did. I'm not gonna uplift him in any way.
Blake Anderson
I'm done.
Ders
As far as we know, he asked himself out.
Blake Anderson
I'm just saying he's really good at blackmail and being a super villain.
Ders
Yeah, he's got six rings for sure. Yeah, he's got six rings.
Adam Devine
Okay, fair enough.
Ders
Traffic trafficking rings. Doesn't that what they call them? A traffic ring?
Blake Anderson
Six.
Ders
Yeah, six rings. That's not even. Don't. And don't even give me points for that. Don't want them.
Blake Anderson
Don't quote him on that. Do not quote him on that.
Ders
By the way, this is the kind of conversation where, like, there's the comedians who go, like, yeah, anything can be funny.
Adam Devine
I don't care.
Ders
Nothing's off limits. There's nothing that's taboo.
Adam Devine
Ah, man, I love how cutting edge we are, dude.
Ders
Cuz I don't think this is that. Actually, this is.
Adam Devine
But at least we tried. At least we tried. At least we. This is our dunk contest. We came out here and we tried to dunk it.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, we all fell in our. On our head. See?
Ders
And if we don't say anything funnier than what. What just transpired, we're done.
Blake Anderson
We're done.
Ders
Netflix. Netflix. Thanks for having us. Can you do that?
Blake Anderson
All I'm saying is Blake's word. He's in the files.
Adam Devine
I definitely am not. I'm not. How high caliber?
Ders
Like, let me get the ice out of your butt. Hey. This message is brought to you by
Adam Devine
Pizza Hut, my brothers.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, what's up?
Adam Devine
Have you heard about Pizza Hut? Hut's big New Yorker?
Blake Anderson
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Adam Devine
Well, let me tell you, it's Pizza Hut's biggest pizza. Massive slices, so big you have to fold them for just $10. Do the math. It's a big deal.
Blake Anderson
Look, there's always that one friend who says they're not hungry, and then they eat three slices. Who is that guy on this podcast Name names? Blake. Is it Anders?
Adam Devine
I don't know.
Blake Anderson
I don't.
Adam Devine
I don't know what you're talking about. It is you well, I can take down six XL slices of the Big and that's easy for me. How many bites do you think it would be? 5?
Blake Anderson
10? Hey Blake, only one way to find out. Let's get one right now.
Ders
Not mad at that. The $10 big New Yorker is a big deal. You just can't argue with the math. Get the Big New Yorker from pizza hut for $10 for a limited time.
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Adam Devine
Wait, why did you. Oh, that's why you were with Chris Tucker. Okay, I'm remembering.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, the slam dunk contest. Yeah. Chris Tucker. His. He makes me. I was like. I look at Chloe and I'm like, should I start wearing, like, sparkly jackets? Like, his. His jacket game was so. So on point. Like, his jacket had. You couldn't help but notice that he was in the. The arena.
Adam Devine
I think NBA all star weekend is the, like, the place to debut your
Ders
awesome jacket to show out your jacket.
Blake Anderson
I wasn't showing out enough.
Adam Devine
Yeah. Like, what did you wear, bud?
Blake Anderson
Just a. Just a jacket. Just a regular jacket.
Adam Devine
Were you courtside? Were you close? You got it. Why aren't you.
Blake Anderson
I was, dude. I was courtside. Yeah. I don't have any sparkly jackets.
Adam Devine
You gotta get. Not for the.
Ders
It's not too late, Adam, for you to get like. And Blake helped me out here. Was it Jerry Lawler who dressed like a king or whatever?
Adam Devine
Yes, absolutely.
Ders
Jerry the King Lawler.
Adam Devine
Yes. Great pool.
Ders
It's not. It's not too late for you to just wear your clothes and the, like, cape or whatever we call that, and the crown.
Blake Anderson
I get dressed like the candy. Candy crush king. Is that what you're saying?
Adam Devine
Yes. Why?
Blake Anderson
Not possible.
Ders
Just saying.
Blake Anderson
Not too late.
Adam Devine
Just saying that seems kind of cool.
Ders
Anything's possible. That. Hey, that's showing out.
Adam Devine
That's really showing out. Out.
Blake Anderson
But the. The bummer was is they. They asked me. They're like, do you want. They didn't give me both. They're like, do you want tickets to the slam dunk contest or the actual game? And it was Bo's birthday. Big number two for big Bo. He on Sunday. So I couldn't go to that. And so I was like, we'll go to the slam dunk contest.
Ders
But then someone dunked him.
Blake Anderson
The actual game was pretty cool. Women. Yama showed the out. Kawhi had, like, a legendary performance.
Ders
This is great.
Blake Anderson
And Obama was sitting there courtside. I could have been sat next to Obama.
Ders
Adam Devine, did I get your vote?
Blake Anderson
I'm pissed now.
Ders
You voted for me, right?
Blake Anderson
I would have been sad. So far away from the actual people. They're taking photographs.
Ders
Let me get some. My side of your butt crack. Yeah, it's all good. It's all good.
Adam Devine
Yeah. I wonder how close you could have been sat next to Obama.
Blake Anderson
Well, they would have given me court. Courtside seats.
Adam Devine
Well, because you and. You and Biden Are ex homies so X.
Blake Anderson
Hey, dude, I did. I did the video.
Ders
Is he dead?
Adam Devine
I don't know if Biden's still.
Ders
Did he die?
Adam Devine
I don't know if Biden's still with. With Adam the same way. Why wouldn't he?
Blake Anderson
Why wouldn't he?
Ders
Yeah. I don't understand what's happening.
Blake Anderson
What did I do?
Adam Devine
FaceTime him? FaceTime him right now.
Blake Anderson
I would love to, but
Ders
can you imagine that dude on a crazy FaceTime? You're like, Ah, poor guy.
Adam Devine
We're.
Ders
You're. You know what? You're going to the bathroom. You can just. We can do this later. Huh? Sack. Sack cam.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. When I did that video, my. My dad. I think I told you guys this. I was like, my dad voted for you in Barack. You mind if I give him a call? He's a fan. And he's like, oh, sure. And then for Biden, and then I call, and my dad, I go, dad, I have someone that wants to speak with you. And he's like, Mr. Divine, this is vice president. He was vice president at the time, Joe Biden. I just want to say, you know, you're. I'm working with your son. He's a really funny guy. My dad hung up on him.
Ders
Yeah, goodbye.
Adam Devine
And.
Blake Anderson
And then I like your policies. He hung up on me.
Adam Devine
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
And then I was like, what? And then the Secret Service comes. They're like, we got to take your father away right now or we got to take Biden away right now. I'm like, can I call him back? And he's like, I'm sorry. They're taking me, and they take him. And I call my dad back. I'm like, what's that about? He goes, nah, you're not gonna get me with that. And I'm like, what? And he's like, yeah, yeah. Like, that's Joe Biden. And I'm like, it is. And he. And I was like, why would you think it wasn't? And he was like, well, I just thought it's one of your Hollywood friends doing an impression.
Adam Devine
There's Adam, right?
Ders
And I'm like, fair enough.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, for sure. But I'm like, you knew that I was going to the White House to do this video today.
Ders
Hollywood friend.
Blake Anderson
No, you.
Ders
You knew it.
Blake Anderson
Nope. And then he was like, no.
Ders
Oh, you wish. Yeah, I. I. You know, whenever I hear those stories on talk shows where they're like. They're actors, and they're like, so Spike Lee called me, and I hung up on him because I was like, there's no way Spike Lee is calling me. I'm like, aren't you like, like an actress? Like.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, yeah.
Ders
Don't you get calls from people? I never understood those stories.
Adam Devine
I get spam calls. That's it. Nobody calls me.
Blake Anderson
Spike Lee never. Never called you?
Adam Devine
No.
Blake Anderson
It's weird you mentioned Spike Lee because that was the one number way back in the day that somehow Kyle got Spike Lee's number. Sure. And we were very stoned. Remember when we had that fire pit illegally in our back in our backyard and we would just burn. We would just burn like broken furniture in it. It and would just basically be getting high from the fumes. Cast away the lacquer and we. Yeah. And then we called Spike Lee, got his number and. And like would prank call him and it was just a fun thing for us to do. I'm sorry, Spike, I didn't. I didn't know.
Adam Devine
You really think that was Spike? It must. How did Kyle get that number?
Ders
Oh, this is a rever. A reverse.
Blake Anderson
I don't know.
Adam Devine
Know.
Blake Anderson
I don't know.
Adam Devine
I'm just wondering. I know he was a teacher at the LA film school, but I'm like, how did he come upon that?
Ders
Who Spike was?
Blake Anderson
No, Kyle.
Adam Devine
Maybe there was a way I was like, doesn't that.
Blake Anderson
I forget exactly how. It was like a friend. It was like friend, friend passed down. Yes, I liked.
Adam Devine
I think there's a. Just a lot of like voicemails that Spike Lee has saved of us being like, dude, we're sitting next to the bonfire right now. Dude, dude, dude, dude. The right thing was so good, dude. He got game. Was so good, dude.
Ders
We're lighting it on fire like the pizza place, dude. What's it called?
Adam Devine
This is in honor. This is an honor of you. Dude.
Ders
We got a boombox. This was for radio, right?
Adam Devine
We're kind of doing the tight thing right now, dude, by like freaking partying and drinking beer. Can we do the tight thing?
Blake Anderson
Did you guys ever prank anyone?
Adam Devine
Well, yes, I remember I. I spoke about it with the Blaine Andy. So. Yeah. But I got. I got in trouble for that.
Ders
Oh, okay. Yeah. And if you're listening or watching, go ahead and find that episode somewhere.
Blake Anderson
That memorable story.
Adam Devine
Yeah, no, that's a. No, that's a very iconic episode. You guys gotta dig in the crates for that.
Blake Anderson
Which one?
Ders
But what.
Blake Anderson
I don't remember this story even a little bit.
Ders
If they don't blaze, maybe tell it one more time.
Adam Devine
I don't want to. I don't even want to. I don't really want to.
Blake Anderson
Okay, dude. And this is. This is exactly what improv teaches you. You just sort of throw the E brake on the conversation.
Ders
Yeah. Big on. No, never.
Blake Anderson
No, never. No, I'm good.
Ders
I did. That wasn't really my thing, but I did have a homie who. This isn't even really. Prank phone call, but it was almost funnier. He would call the, like, phone. Cell phone company. Cell phones are brand new at this time. Right.
Adam Devine
So, like, Nokia.
Ders
There's like a certain, like, minutes situation.
Blake Anderson
Right.
Ders
There's like, a minute situation. If you go over.
Adam Devine
He would.
Ders
He would call.
Blake Anderson
Sure.
Ders
Every month and, like, beg not to be charged. And then he'd be like, you know what? Fuck it. I'm gonna cancel my whole thing. Cancel it right now. And then they'd get like. Because if you cancel, then you're losing money down the line. Right.
Adam Devine
Sure.
Ders
And just listening to the. Him negotiate with his people and, like, get real personal. Like, come on, put yourself in my shoes. Like, we were out party. I was really drunk. I'm trying to hook up with this girl. I was calling her, and they're like, sir, I.
Blake Anderson
Look.
Ders
I don't. He's like, come on, be human. And, like, very funny to just hear these people cave and be like, okay, we can delete that charge from your.
Blake Anderson
All right.
Ders
And can I get, like, a bonus month? And you're, like, going for it.
Adam Devine
Yeah. Come on, dude. I love her. Can I get a bonus month if I don't call her?
Ders
Please let me get that bonus.
Adam Devine
If I don't call her, she's going to. He's gonna break up with me.
Ders
All right, fuck it. Cancel it.
Blake Anderson
Now, Blake, this artwork over your shoulder there now, is that. You put that on an altar when you sacrifice children in the Epstein files, or what's the deal there?
Adam Devine
Oh, come on now. I told you, this is a place where I can have any sort of sponsor. This is a sponsorship, basically. Patio.
Ders
Is that a shelf?
Blake Anderson
It's a sponsorship patio. Okay, okay. But then. But then also maybe you. Is that the skulls of children or what? What is the deal there?
Ders
Children. Very tiny, very small.
Adam Devine
This is. This is my buddy, Neck Face. It's a. It's a lamp. You could put a. You could put a little bulb in here.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, light bulb.
Ders
Oh, you can insert from the bottom. Got it.
Adam Devine
Yeah. It's going to be great for Halloween, but it's also good for the podcast, so. But if. You know, if. If there's.
Blake Anderson
I was just wondering why you're so, so kind of nervous about the FC files. And then I look over your shoulder and kind of notice that.
Adam Devine
Not nervous, it looks like.
Ders
Yes, sir. Yo, wait, is that a music stand that. That's on?
Adam Devine
Yeah, it is. It is, actually. Well, no.
Blake Anderson
Look at you having a music stand.
Adam Devine
I think I got this for, like, to put a projector on, but I never. I never set it up. Yeah, I never set it up.
Blake Anderson
Classic. Classic.
Adam Devine
Blake, what were those things? What are the. What are the. The music stands called? I think they had a really cool name, actually.
Ders
All right, let's just take a moment to let you remember that.
Blake Anderson
Oh, it's called the music Stands. So the episode. If people. If you want to hear what Blake Anderson was. Blaine. Blaine. Andyo. Whatever this story was, he refuses to tell it again. It was in episode 72, Truck Stops, where fun starts. Episode 72 of this is Important. Perfect. So apparently it was a classic. Yeah, I. I don't remember that.
Adam Devine
Go back, check it out. Check it out. I mean, that was a long time ago. What are we on now?
Ders
I might go listen right now.
Adam Devine
What are we on right now? What episode is it?
Ders
2000?
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Adam Devine
Damn.
Blake Anderson
This is episode 288. So over 200 episodes ago, and you refuse to tell the story.
Adam Devine
Story.
Blake Anderson
So.
Adam Devine
Yeah, I kind of don't remember that.
Ders
Well, why don't you just say you to our new listeners?
Adam Devine
Absolutely.
Ders
Just go ahead and.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, we're on Netflix now.
Adam Devine
If you're not. If you're not day one. We're not really.
Ders
And that's a cool attitude on this. That's a great. No new friends.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, I get it.
Ders
I got it. I know it's good.
Blake Anderson
I think that is Blake's. Blake's attitude.
Adam Devine
I'm very Drake in that way. I'm very drinking that way.
Ders
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
Except for you're not as big as Drake. So. So Drake's whole thing is he have. He's so huge that he doesn't want any new friends.
Ders
What are we talking about here now?
Adam Devine
Drake. We're talking Drake.
Ders
He's not as big as Drake. He's so huge. What are we talking about now here?
Adam Devine
I'm gonna come.
Blake Anderson
Oh, Blake's penis.
Adam Devine
Yeah. Yeah. What?
Blake Anderson
I'm always talking about Blake's penis.
Ders
Blake. Drake. There's something happening there.
Adam Devine
Blake and Drake.
Blake Anderson
Something.
Adam Devine
Maybe Blake and Drake.
Ders
Dude, that's the spin off. Get your own podcast with that guy. You don't need us. Me and Adam will yell at each other.
Adam Devine
Drake and Josh. But it's like Blake and Josh. That could be kind of sick.
Ders
No, Blake It's Blake and Drake.
Adam Devine
Okay, fair enough.
Blake Anderson
Dude, I'm in my new office. There's weird haunted noises happening at my house.
Adam Devine
What do you mean?
Blake Anderson
Okay, I'm in my new office. Okay. And it's a new. New house. A totally new place. Yeah, there's pounding and, like, noises happen.
Ders
Epstein.
Adam Devine
It is a bit echoey. It sounds like a church almost.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, well, there's no furniture or anything in it. Blake was just here for. For Bo's birthday. Yeah, Anders, he told me he couldn't make it, and I.
Adam Devine
Fair enough.
Blake Anderson
I respect him. I respect him for it.
Ders
I said I could and then I said I couldn't, and.
Blake Anderson
But I'm choosing not to. And choosing not to is what he said. And that. That was awesome. Thanks for coming. We had a great time. A lot of kids.
Adam Devine
A lot of kids. You know what? I'm. I'm hyped.
Blake Anderson
They collect them. At about 2, they start to collect little friends.
Adam Devine
Don't say collecting kids.
Ders
Yeah. And Blake collects little skulls. Yeah, it's just like that. Don't start.
Blake Anderson
Well, it's weird that you're so scared to talk about it with that shrine behind you.
Adam Devine
Don't say collecting kids. That's weird.
Blake Anderson
No, I mean, he collects little friends. He has like. Because he goes to like a little gymnastics crew, so he's got friends from there. He has friends in his little swimming class.
Ders
Adam, I know this. Your new dad is making. Making friends. It's making friends.
Adam Devine
Yeah. You don't collect.
Blake Anderson
You collect. You gotta collect them. But then now it's weird. They're all two. So then you have like 15, 22 year olds running around your party, and it's absolute chaos.
Ders
Insane.
Blake Anderson
And it's also. I live on the beach, right? So there's just a open body of water there. So it's just parents playing goalie against the ocean.
Adam Devine
It's potentially deadly. Yeah. You have to be on full alert.
Ders
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Adam Devine
But I'm. I'm hyped that I got to it because you're. You guys send out the rsvp and it was on like. What is it?
Blake Anderson
Particle.
Adam Devine
What is that? The app.
Ders
There's so many. Why?
Adam Devine
Why not? Just. I. I'm so glad that it worked out for me, but that is extremely hard for me to figure out. The partiful app.
Blake Anderson
Oh, do we think it's. You're an idiot.
Adam Devine
Oh, did you? Why not? Just.
Ders
I'm the same.
Adam Devine
Why?
Blake Anderson
Dude, it's so easy.
Adam Devine
Why can't I just text like, I'm coming? Well, you Could.
Blake Anderson
But you didn't. You could have done that.
Adam Devine
I told you. Well, I told you at the Super Bowl, I'm coming this.
Blake Anderson
You saw me.
Adam Devine
But then you're like, well, you have an rsvp the particle at like that. That's like, why do we have to do everything through our phones? I. I just.
Blake Anderson
It's so my wife can see the head account. It's for the wives. You think I care about Parthal? I don't care about part. I don't work for Parthal.
Ders
I don't couldn't give a about after this pod.
Adam Devine
You seem like you're very pro partiful, dude.
Ders
It is weird.
Blake Anderson
Well, no, dude, it's so the wives know the head count and so they don't have to go through.
Ders
And you want to use Partle for anything.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, I have used it. It's very easy. You just click, I'm coming. Or yes, no, maybe I don't like, like it.
Adam Devine
I'm not a big partal guy. I find it to be very hard to navigate.
Blake Anderson
All I'm saying is this episode is brought to you by part.
Ders
I got a question about particle. I got an invite, literally today, a particle invite from a person from like 2010 that I'm like, is it just because I'm in your phone still that, like, you sent me this? We haven't spoken enough in 15 years. We were like acquaintances. How am I getting this now? What is happening?
Blake Anderson
Was it for like a something you for sure wouldn't go to something, like a little housewarming party or something that you're like, I don't know this person.
Adam Devine
A baptism?
Ders
Yeah. This is a person I. I knew for 10 seconds who's like, run it back. Run it back.
Adam Devine
Allegedly.
Ders
Run it back.
Blake Anderson
Well, no, the question is, is it like, hey, I'm doing a show and I want you to come check me
Adam Devine
out, or is it like, I'm getting
Blake Anderson
married and I could see him just trying to. Throwing out as many.
Ders
Not clicking on it. Not clicking on it.
Adam Devine
Oh, you don't even know what it is.
Blake Anderson
You don't even know. You don't even know what it's about.
Ders
No.
Blake Anderson
Okay, well, you know, you can click on it and they can't tell that you've clicked. It's like you have to respond, yes.
Adam Devine
I don't know that, actually. I don't know the rules of particle.
Ders
I'm not scared. Okay, well, that's just the rules. I'm not scared to click on it.
Adam Devine
I have seems like a really scary.
Ders
I have zero Interest in clicking on it.
Adam Devine
It.
Ders
Regardless.
Blake Anderson
You're scared of clicking on it. Blake is scared of the Epstein files, and you're both scared as.
Adam Devine
I'm just. I'm just confused where the particle came from. I'm. I'm a little. I'm a little shocked.
Ders
I am too. Because AO and ATA also sent one to us and I was like, so everyone's doing this.
Adam Devine
My New Year's invitations, my Christmas parties, birthday parties. Everything is part of Full. I don't want it anymore. Everything is part of Full. You have to sign up. You have to get a code. It's like you don't know who's coming until you say yes. Like, I don't want to say yes till I know who's there. Like, what. What if it's just a bunch of. What's a bunch of wackadoodles that I
Ders
don't have a problem with? I. I don't make my decisions based on other people. That's stupid.
Blake Anderson
That's just weird.
Adam Devine
No, that's just weird. Why?
Ders
Maybe, hey, maybe I'm an old head.
Blake Anderson
That's. That's you not wanting to do. That's you not wanting to do the slam dunk contest.
Ders
That's what that is.
Adam Devine
No, it's not acidness. It is not bishad. It's like people should just know what they're signing up for.
Ders
Oh, I want my. I have my comfort. You know what? I'm signing up for my life. And where I go, I go, who's there? I don't know. We'll find out.
Blake Anderson
I don't know. And you'll know when you get there.
Adam Devine
It just seems. It just seems odd to me, the partifulness of the party. I don't. It's. It's feeling very.
Ders
I agree that it came out of nowhere and is suddenly the one. I'm like, I can't just get an.
Adam Devine
What.
Blake Anderson
What were the others? Evite. What were the Evite. Evite. Evite class. Well, there had to.
Adam Devine
What happened to Evite?
Ders
It's just old now.
Adam Devine
Bring back Evite.
Blake Anderson
I respect the. The entrepreneurs who saw a hole in the market.
Adam Devine
What was the hole?
Ders
Bend over and I'll show you the
Blake Anderson
long toothedness of Evite. Of the Evite. And saw the long toothedness.
Ders
I get it. They basically go like, okay, Starbucks is hella old. What's a new fucking coffee? Like, they just look for the old thing and swoop in and go, this is going to be what Starbucks was in 1990 for now.
Public Investing Announcer
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Ders
What is part of the third place?
Blake Anderson
It's a third place.
Ders
Like, as if Whole Foods wasn't expensive enough, Erewhon was like, hold my groceries.
Adam Devine
Who is ok. Who is what is partiful doing that Evite wasn't doing. Why is.
Blake Anderson
I don't know.
Adam Devine
It seems way harder. It seems way more.
Blake Anderson
It's like.
Adam Devine
It's like party Cops, dude.
Blake Anderson
And see, see, this is the energy. This is the energy that, that Anders and I want from you for every topic. You're. You're blas. Of every topic. When we ask you to tell a story that you've told before that we're like, oh, yeah, remind us of that
Adam Devine
and go to F72.
Blake Anderson
You refuse to do it.
Adam Devine
It. I'm talking.
Blake Anderson
You never take. You never take a stance on anything we like. Maybe you take a stance. You don't even take a stance on the Epstein files because you're afraid of something.
Adam Devine
Cuz you're afraid taking a stance on an EP file. I don't want to hear it anymore. It's evil. It's terrible. The guy.
Blake Anderson
Yes. Don't we think it should all come out so we can then arrest all the evil?
Adam Devine
They are out.
Blake Anderson
No, they're not.
Ders
They all.
Blake Anderson
You dumb.
Ders
They're redacted. And yeah, Adam.
Blake Anderson
I'm pissed now.
Ders
Adam's combed him, right?
Blake Anderson
I'm pissed now.
Ders
Adam's combed him, groomed him.
Adam Devine
Comb the hell out. Everybody is bad. Everybody is bad, dude.
Ders
Listen.
Adam Devine
Yes.
Blake Anderson
Everybody's bad.
Ders
What?
Blake Anderson
No. By. How about we stick to particle?
Ders
Okay, you're free. One's bad.
Blake Anderson
That.
Ders
Are you about to go, like, philosophical? Like.
Blake Anderson
Yes, I think he was. And then he backed off.
Ders
Are sharks, Are sharks evil if they eat people or are they just hungry?
Adam Devine
No, I mean, like, what, what, what stance are you guys asking me to take right now? Do you really want to really dice files and get really real about the Epstein files?
Ders
I don't listening. Adam is just got off the cruise
Adam Devine
and this is the first thing you want to talk about?
Ders
We haven't gone because you just got
Adam Devine
off the cruise and this is what you want to talk about?
Ders
Technically, I know this is airing, but I'm, I, I, I, I'm transparent. I guess you like hiding things, redacting things. Yes.
Adam Devine
Okay. Okay.
Ders
I think you're missing the compliment that Adam gave you. He was just telling you how great it is that you're taking a stand on powerful and you're misinterpreting it. He was hyping you up.
Adam Devine
Taking a Stand isn't necessarily a good thing. Know, maybe being neutral is a good thing for comedy.
Blake Anderson
You think being neutral in comedy is.
Adam Devine
That's. That's your. No, that has always been legalized comedy. Like, you have to have a point of view. Maybe you don't. Maybe not having a point of view. Maybe anti comedy is the new comedy.
Ders
Hey, let's try that on the cruise. I mean, we tried.
Adam Devine
We already did.
Ders
We already did it.
Adam Devine
And people loved it.
Ders
It was.
Adam Devine
People loved it.
Ders
Yeah. Hey, this message is brought to you
Adam Devine
by Pizza Hut, my brothers.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, what's up?
Adam Devine
Have you heard about Pizza Hut's big New Yorker?
Blake Anderson
Oh, yeah.
Adam Devine
Yeah. Well, let me tell you, it's Pizza Hut's biggest pizza. Massive slices so big you have to fold them for just $10. Do the math. It's a big deal.
Blake Anderson
Look, there's always that one friend who says they're not hungry and then they eat three slices. Who is that guy on this podcast? Name. Names. Blake. Is it Anders?
Adam Devine
I don't know. I don't. I don't know what you're talking about.
Blake Anderson
It is you.
Adam Devine
Well, I can take down six XL slices of the big New Yorker and that's easy for me. How many bites do you think it would be? 5? 10?
Ders
Hey, Blake.
Blake Anderson
Only one way to find out. Let's get one right now.
Ders
Not mad at that. The $10 big New Yorker is a big deal. You just can't argue with the master. Get the big New Yorker from pizza hut for $10 for a limited time.
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Ders
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Ders
on the features you need. Check out odoo@o d o-o.com that's o d o o.com
Blake Anderson
so I'm with Ders and I'm about transparency and we have not gone on the CR cruise yet, but they we are about to. We could leave this Friday or Saturday. We leave Saturday, right?
Adam Devine
Saturday. We ship out Sunday.
Blake Anderson
So excited. Yeah.
Adam Devine
I hope we're still alive.
Blake Anderson
It's looking way colder than I wanted it to be.
Ders
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
And I hope, I hope we come back all tanned up and be like, actually it wasn't that bad.
Adam Devine
I really want it to be hot.
Ders
Do you think they have a tanning salon on the boat?
Blake Anderson
100. But what did I. What did I test you guys? It's something like the high of 59.
Adam Devine
No.
Blake Anderson
Our first day on the Very shagadelic. Yes. And the week before it was like 82 degrees. It's like a.
Ders
That's okay though, cuz it's. It's not super windy on the deck of a cruise ship on an open ocean, dude.
Adam Devine
In the Gulf of America. It's warm.
Ders
It's hot. Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.
Blake Anderson
That's. You would say it. You would say that. That's the other stance you take. The Gulf of America.
Adam Devine
Hot, hot, hot, hot. It's what it's called. Called look at a map, dude.
Ders
Brought to you by a stance.
Blake Anderson
Isaac is saying the highs in the 70s.
Ders
Okay, but where I think Lowe's might be 59.
Blake Anderson
No, no, no. The high of Tampa. Our first day at night, it gets cold on water. We're.
Adam Devine
We're not in Tampa. That's just where we're shipping out from. We're nowhere near Tampa.
Blake Anderson
But the first day, we will be within range of Tampa. That's the closest city, so I don't know how else to.
Adam Devine
Dude, you know how fast these cruise ships are. We. Ship only goes about.
Blake Anderson
Okay. We, we, we leave. What, Sunday? Yes, sir. Okay. Well, it's raining.
Adam Devine
We already came back. It was great.
Ders
Okay.
Blake Anderson
Okay. It's raining and might have to do the highest 74. The next day, Monday. So we will be in the ocean. Will be a high of 57. And then the next day high of 60, and then next day high of 68. That's colder than where we currently are. Car. So I'm hoping. And by the way, I feel like Blake is throwing this on me, like I'm the bearer of the bad news. Yeah, I'm just looking at the weather app, homie. I'm just looking at the weather app.
Adam Devine
And who owns that? The people who own particle. Like, I don't fuck with apps anymore. I'm gonna get there, I'll look at the weather.
Blake Anderson
And it's.
Adam Devine
It's gonna be warm. I have a really good feeling about it.
Ders
Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.
Blake Anderson
I hope so too.
Adam Devine
It's gonna be really warm. I'm gonna get sunburned.
Blake Anderson
So Isaac then gives contradictory information.
Ders
He goes himself.
Blake Anderson
The ship only goes 10 meters or 10 meter knots.
Adam Devine
I don't know.
Blake Anderson
Oh, good.
Ders
Oh, okay.
Blake Anderson
It only goes 10 knots, which isn't that fast. 10 knots is pretty damn slow. Like when I take my boat out, I go 25 knots.
Ders
Yeah. Oh, this goes 10 and I know. So that's things exist because it doesn't translate exactly. But how fast are we talking here?
Blake Anderson
I don't know.
Adam Devine
Yeah. What's a knot? Is it 10 miles per hour? What's a knot?
Blake Anderson
I don't know.
Adam Devine
Why do we call them knots?
Ders
Is it nautical mile? Is a not a nautical mile?
Adam Devine
Yeah, that's a great guess.
Blake Anderson
So then Isaac once again doesn't answer the question and goes about 12 miles an hour.
Adam Devine
12 miles an hour is one knot.
Ders
Don't you stroke my knot?
Blake Anderson
No, I think that's 10 knots is about 12 miles.
Ders
I got a knot for you. I got a knot for you.
Adam Devine
Balloon knot.
Blake Anderson
Which isn't that fast.
Adam Devine
Balloon.
Blake Anderson
Not, not, not, not fast. But then he said, that's Tampa weather. That I'm looking at. And I'm like, right. Because there's no way to look up the weather in the middle of the ocean. Or at least not that I know.
Ders
Is that true?
Adam Devine
It's not the middle of the ocean. It's the Gulf of America. Please call it.
Blake Anderson
I'm so sorry.
Adam Devine
Please call it. I'm gonna come.
Ders
Hey, how have we not done, like, a golf war, like, kind of, like, themed cruise? How did we not do that? And we just do, like, paintball on deck and. And have, like, paint grenades.
Adam Devine
I don't know if we're the guys. I don't know if we're the guys.
Ders
Veterans can. Come on.
Blake Anderson
That's more of like. What is that? Those guys that make infinitely more money than us and are way younger than us, and all they do is trick shots, everyone.
Adam Devine
Dude perfect.
Blake Anderson
Dude perfect. You know the dude perfect guys, if they had a cruise. It's going off, dude.
Adam Devine
Oh, absolutely.
Blake Anderson
You know. You know the trick shots. Actually, how boring would a dude perfect cruise be?
Adam Devine
Just throwing marshmallows.
Blake Anderson
It's just watching a guy, like, throw the basketball from across the dip like 200 times and then finally hit it. And they're like, thank God. And then you come back with your beer and you're. You just missed it. You're like, oh.
Adam Devine
Oh, he got it.
Blake Anderson
They finally hit it.
Adam Devine
Not doing it again. I'm not doing it again. I can do it again. That's the.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. My shoulder hurts too bad. So one knot is 1.15 miles an hour. Oh, my God.
Adam Devine
That's really slow.
Ders
So we're going 10 miles an hour. So everyone sees you. Basically, we.
Blake Anderson
Damn.
Adam Devine
Hello.
Blake Anderson
And then Isaac's point, he's saying is, we won't be in Tampa. We're gonna go 10 miles an hour. No, sir. I don't like south. And it will go get hotter the further south we go.
Ders
Okay.
Blake Anderson
Which. Sure. But we are going 10 miles an hour, so. And it is raining the day we leave.
Adam Devine
Well, we might have durs get his ass out there and start kicking, dude.
Ders
I might have to put a anchor in my teeth and swim, dude.
Blake Anderson
Now, jurors, are you gonna bring, like, a little banana hammock? Are you gonna.
Ders
Is that an official request?
Blake Anderson
You need another four inches. And if you want to bring one. Two. Two extras. Two extras. My thighs are juice.
Ders
I'll see what I got.
Blake Anderson
I've been back on the bike. My thighs are juice.
Ders
I don't. I don't know if I can.
Blake Anderson
You don't believe me?
Ders
I don't I'll put some ice down your.
Adam Devine
What are the rules? Oh, my God. You need to get a little sun on those Netflix.
Ders
Should we tell them?
Adam Devine
Holy moly. That look like a ham hog.
Ders
Now, Blake. Now, Blake. See, this is why you just had to. My man showing off his legs. And you got to just. Just nag him. You got to say, oh, go to sunshine. Just let him shine.
Adam Devine
Hey, now. Now, I. I'll. I'll respond to the. All RSVP to the particle to that thing right there.
Ders
Dude, the.
Blake Anderson
The. The few things that you take a stand on are partul and my thighs. But then we talk about the ep. Sudden you wish. You wish we weren't.
Ders
I'm on the fence about adding that to the. Yeah, it's good. I love it, but it's very long.
Adam Devine
You told me to put it on.
Ders
I know.
Blake Anderson
Well, you know, it's a palate cleanser. It's a palette.
Ders
Been wrong before. It does hit reset.
Adam Devine
Well, that's how I feel right now. That's how I feel right now.
Ders
Adam, here's an example. Adam, here's an example of something that is part of full adjacent that you probably don't love, even though I don't even think you're looking at it or you give a. Which is this Riverside studio thing that we're on right now. We used to just do a zoom. Now we gotta have a zoom and Riverside open. Riverside's weird. We don't know how to work it burn. Seemed like we're doing fine for years on zoom.
Adam Devine
I don't even look at Riverside. What are you talking about? I just dip. I just dip it in my tab.
Ders
I'm looking at Riverside because my insane on zoom. Now I don't know what's happening.
Blake Anderson
I think I'm looking at you on Zoom. You look totally. I mean, look how you always look.
Ders
I thought I looked like orange.
Adam Devine
You look like you wear sunglasses outside and you have, like. Like raccoon rings on your.
Ders
That's all very true.
Blake Anderson
It looks. It looks like you just went skiing.
Adam Devine
Did you go skiing recently?
Blake Anderson
Did you recently go skiing?
Ders
No, my family did. They left me just like my original family. No, I went back to Chicago. I did go running outdoors with the sunglasses on, so maybe that gave me a little.
Blake Anderson
So maybe that's it. So the reason Duras wasn't at my son's second birthday, which I'm holding you guys to these little kid birthdays, he
Adam Devine
didn't get the part of.
Ders
I agree. It was a phone call. I was like, God, Damn it. Yeah. Went home to my mom's birthday.
Blake Anderson
It was because it was his mother's. His mother's birthday. Which I totally respect now. So some of these friends, they didn't give a response.
Adam Devine
I did.
Ders
Not even on part of all.
Blake Anderson
They missed a banger of a party. Was there a bounce house?
Adam Devine
Was there Mountain Mike's for days?
Blake Anderson
Was there mountains of Mike's pizza?
Adam Devine
There was mountains of.
Ders
Tell me what mountain Mike's is. That's pizza.
Blake Anderson
Mountain mics I love.
Ders
I, I, I drove past it the other day.
Adam Devine
I was really surprised. You. You did mountain mics? Mountain Mik's is a kind of a deep cut. I'm kind of hyped on that for you.
Blake Anderson
Oh yeah. Oh, I like Mountain. Mountain Mike's.
Adam Devine
Yeah. What's tasty?
Blake Anderson
I don't. Pizza is not my favorite. And I know I, I've talked about this a lot.
Ders
See. And Mountain Mike's is doing what part is doing? They were like, no one wants Papa John's anymore. They want something new, something fresh. Mountain mics it.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, it's just good. Chloe. Chloe likes piz. Get it sometimes and I'll be like, okay, I'll have a slice.
Adam Devine
So when Chloe orders pizza, she goes Mountain Mike's.
Blake Anderson
She just will try a new thing every once in a while and she'll.
Ders
Let me ask you a question, Adam. In her phone, is there something that says Mountain Mike's and it calls her and is she telling you that she's,
Blake Anderson
she's just Mountain Mike's always calling her
Ders
Mountain Mike's calls her, calls her and
Blake Anderson
is always asking if she wants the pizza.
Ders
You want texture? You want the full bread? Sick.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. You hungry? You want the deep dish?
Adam Devine
Huh?
Ders
Extra. It's just m. It's just Mountain Mike. It doesn't even say apostrophe S. It actually just says Mount Mike again.
Adam Devine
Huh.
Ders
The pizza's really good.
Adam Devine
And, and you, you did get charged for the pizza, right?
Blake Anderson
Yeah. And then, and then I gave him a lot of business.
Ders
Oh yeah.
Blake Anderson
And you always over order in these.
Ders
Emma gets from Ace is hard. And I assume it's Ace's hardware. But it says Ace is hard. I don't know. But she's, she's fixing something. Cuz I can hear her grunting from the garage.
Adam Devine
Sam gets Slim Jim. Slim Jim beats it.
Ders
Anyway, she's build. She's building something Slim Jim.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, she's used to it small. So she, she likes a slim one.
Ders
Slim Jim. Yeah. It's funny.
Adam Devine
I mean, hey, some people like a Little slim or gym.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, Jim Long and slim. Yeah. So we ordered way too much pizza, but I was like, Chloe's like, I don't want to order too much. I'm like, well, that's what we have to do. Because the last thing I want over order is, is two year olds to not have.
Ders
But two year olds are not eating pizza, correct?
Adam Devine
Pizza.
Blake Anderson
Pizza.
Adam Devine
No.
Blake Anderson
And you know what? I over well a little. Like the cheese pizza, you might cut it up and give them some chunks. Chunks.
Adam Devine
But you just throw chunks at chunks.
Blake Anderson
Like put them in a bowl.
Ders
Right. You feed them like seagulls.
Adam Devine
Yeah, yeah, he just throws.
Blake Anderson
I overestimated how much these kids were going to be eating pizza.
Ders
Yeah.
Adam Devine
Oh, come on.
Ders
It was almost zero, right?
Blake Anderson
Yeah, it was almost zero.
Adam Devine
Yeah. There wasn't a lot. They're occupied.
Ders
I went to a party where someone ordered like really expensive fancy sandwiches. And I think I left and like wraps. I think I left with a hundred dollars worth of sandwiches. Because she was like, you got other kids, right? Because it was for the youngest. And she's like, they're older, like here. And I was like, walk into the car with maybe a 10 to 20 pound tray of food.
Blake Anderson
And I was like, that's my dream. I love sandwiches, dude.
Adam Devine
You know what would fix that is if in part of full in the app, if you said whether you're going to eat or. Or not, like, you should probably check the box. What are you going to do at the party? Are you going to eat? Are you going to drink? Like, you should just say everything you're projected to do.
Blake Anderson
You're going to drink too much.
Ders
But, Blake, you don't even know if it does say it does.
Adam Devine
You wouldn't know. But if we're really going to. If we're really going to grill people on. On if they're coming or not, you might as well say what you're going to do.
Ders
Are you going to grill?
Adam Devine
Are you. Are you going to dance? Or you get like, what do you want?
Ders
Like, oh, so it's. You have to do a whole check. Have to. You have to know exactly what you're going to do before you get there. You don't.
Adam Devine
That's what it feels like. That's what feels to me. That's what it feels like to me.
Blake Anderson
Offline. I'm going to ask you who here. I'm going to just ask you right now, Ders, is this the person that invited you to a thing on.
Adam Devine
Don't put Epstein.
Ders
Don't blow them up.
Blake Anderson
I just want to party on par.
Adam Devine
Don't put Epstein.
Ders
I don't want to blow him up. Don't put.
Adam Devine
Put a.
Blake Anderson
Here. I'm. I'm putting them in. In the chat because I don't know this person, But I was just invited to a party.
Adam Devine
Friendship.
Blake Anderson
And I don't know who this is or what this is.
Adam Devine
I don't know who that is. That isn't. That seems like a fake name. That seems like a name from D.
Blake Anderson
Yes, that is the person.
Adam Devine
What?
Blake Anderson
Okay, so I must know them, too.
Adam Devine
What? You guys, this is the same person.
Ders
And by the way, if they came into my home right now wearing an outfit that had not aged and wearing the exact same clothes last time I saw them, I would not know this person. I would maybe.
Adam Devine
That literally looks like a name for, like, a character. If you play dnd and you have, like, an elf. And by the way that it looks like a fantasy name.
Ders
I'm not saying anything negative about this person. What I'm saying is this is just not. I just haven't. We moved on, bruh.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. I haven't met this person. By the way, I'm looking at. I've been invited to a lot of things on part of whole.
Ders
It's out of control.
Blake Anderson
I never check it. The island needs to be. It's out of control.
Ders
You never. You never check it either.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, no, I don't check it. That's what I was saying. I'm like, dude, this is just for my wife.
Adam Devine
Yeah, but you straight up came up to me and, like, you approached me in San Francisco and said, like, respond to the particle. You grabbed me by my collar.
Blake Anderson
No, I didn't. And the reason I. The reason I did that is Chloe was right there with Bo.
Ders
Jackson was right behind you.
Blake Anderson
Chloe was next to me. And so then I go. I make a show of it.
Ders
That's not true. That's not true. Because we talked about it before. She was there.
Adam Devine
Yeah, this was at the tonga room.
Ders
I think you're redacting certain things that happened here.
Blake Anderson
I'm not a redacter.
Ders
We.
Blake Anderson
Oh, is that right Here to show the file? She was on my ass to get people to respond to the particle.
Adam Devine
So you're the muscle. You're kind of the Adam.
Ders
If you think that was a seamless cover by being like. I didn't mean she was there. I meant she was on my ass about it. That was amazing.
Blake Anderson
I'm a dude. I thought. No, I thought. I thought she was there with us.
Adam Devine
No, but.
Blake Anderson
No, you.
Adam Devine
You grill me about rsvp. But I guess I get it now. You get sent. You're kind of the must.
Blake Anderson
Yeah.
Adam Devine
And you get. You get people to respond to the kids birthday party invites.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, well, she wanted a head count, dude. What am I supposed to do? Well, that's a battle I'm fighting. I'm fighting battles on all fronts. I'm just trying to.
Ders
I kind of. I kind of hate it. My. My whole thing is, look, invite all these people, buy enough food, and if people don't show up, they didn't show up.
Adam Devine
But then you end up with. How many leftover pizzas did you have?
Ders
It doesn't matter.
Adam Devine
But I just want to know how many leftovers over pizza.
Ders
So you gave them the als?
Blake Anderson
Probably like eight.
Ders
God, that's a lot.
Blake Anderson
A lot of pizza I bought.
Adam Devine
Holy. That's a mountain of pizza.
Ders
How many did you keep? How many did you keep? Cuz you're like, I'll distribute these like across the next week.
Blake Anderson
Well, by the way, I don't even like pizza, but my mom kept like eight pizzas. There's so many pizzas. Since we have an extra, you can just freeze them.
Ders
You can just freeze.
Blake Anderson
So she's like, you could just have them. That's exactly what she said.
Ders
Just freeze it.
Blake Anderson
I'm like, I don't want to. I. We're not freezing this pizza.
Ders
No, you got to keep that attitude.
Adam Devine
As soon as you freeze Mountain Mike, it. It turns into complete asshole. Right? Like, no pizza that gets delivered freezes. Well, it doesn't reheat.
Blake Anderson
Like, I would not think it would taste great.
Adam Devine
I've never frozen.
Ders
Isn't. Isn't cold pizza a whole culture of
Adam Devine
its own cold pizza? But frozen pizza is a whole different.
Blake Anderson
And then defrosted pizza. I'm not a big, big freezer. If something goes in my freezer, it goes there to die. I will not look in that freezer. My parents, they live and die by this freezer. I'm like, if I put it in my freezer, it I. You know what? You know what I have in my freezer forever that I was trying to get into?
Ders
Don't tell. Don't tell me.
Blake Anderson
Let's try to get. Oh, boy. What do you got?
Ders
Dude, dude, you beat me to it.
Blake Anderson
I was going to say sorry. The redacted files got it.
Adam Devine
It.
Blake Anderson
The unredacted files, but I do have Cornish game hens in my freezer. I was trying to get into grilling in the freezer. Yeah, it was like. It was like I ordered something from Omaha Steaks. And I'm like, hey, we can throw these cornish game hens in for cheaper. And I'm like, maybe I'm never gonna. I'm never gonna grow the Cornish game head.
Ders
No.
Adam Devine
Just not gonna do it. No. I wouldn't even know where to begin with a cornish gain head game.
Blake Anderson
It would take me months to learn.
Ders
Have you guys thought about becoming, like, grill masters? Is this something every guy goes through
Blake Anderson
where you're like, yes, yes.
Ders
Maybe I'm just going to, like, learn how to make the perfect steak, but you got to eat, like, 10 steaks to, like, really become the guy. Maybe. I don't know, maybe three.
Blake Anderson
I'm a dude. Oh, by the way, I'm pretty good on the grill. I'm pretty good on the grill, but I. You know, then you got to get the smoke.
Adam Devine
Yeah.
Blake Anderson
You got to get to this, and then you got to get to that, and it's a lot. And you know what? The one. The one part I do want to get, though, I want to. I want to be able to cook a brisket and then have those black gloves that they wear. You know, the. The grill master always has, like, black gloves.
Adam Devine
You could use those for, like, a wood.
Blake Anderson
A wood block. And then you. You chop it all up. That's what I want to be.
Ders
You know what he's putting in the freezer with those black gloves? Are those the black gloves where you
Blake Anderson
can, like, literally, like, why are you saying that, Blake? What. What else can I do with those black gloves? Is that something that you learn from.
Adam Devine
No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not. Not on the list at all, allegedly. I would never be.
Ders
Are these the black me?
Adam Devine
No way.
Ders
Okay, you keep.
Blake Anderson
You keep bringing them up. We're not talking about that.
Ders
Are these the black gloves where you can, like, literally reach into a fire and, like, grab, like, a hot coal kind of thing?
Adam Devine
They're just rubber.
Blake Anderson
No, I think they're just rubber gloves. They're just the rubber.
Ders
So you count me out.
Blake Anderson
Disgusting.
Ders
It's really gotta have the ones where you can grab the logs.
Adam Devine
It's kind of crazy, like, with barbecuing, like, anytime you start to, like, really get passionate, you just teeter on. It starts to get quiet horny. You know what I mean? Like, you're like. All of a sudden, you're just barbecue guy. Like, well, you never stop talking about the barbecue. Like, you, like.
Ders
Like, it's okay. You can just commit to something.
Blake Anderson
It's okay to just.
Adam Devine
I don't. Yeah, but the passion is what Gets a little corny to me, man.
Ders
It's like passion is the only thing that keeps society from exploding into the files.
Blake Anderson
And Blake, who are you trying to impress, homie?
Adam Devine
I'm just like, all of a sudden, I'm like, I'm hitting you with corny.
Ders
To who?
Adam Devine
I'm like, hitting you up with the. And I'm like, come try my. My fucking Cornish game hen. I'm like, experimenting this weekend, and it's like every weekend.
Blake Anderson
I would love that.
Ders
And you know what I do? I would text you. I'll be there, and I'll be eating, and I might be dancing. If there's karaoke, one song.
Adam Devine
I will say, like, barbecuing is probably the coolest trickle down thing, because if the homie is, like, experimenting with barbecue, you're gonna want to be there in the splash zone.
Ders
Oh, I thought being on pilot would be cool.
Blake Anderson
So your friend Sean B. Sean B. Who is a great many amazing. So you think he's corny? Is that what you're saying? You think your boy Sean bees a little? You think he's corny? Is that what you're saying?
Adam Devine
I kind of felt like Sean B. Was like, born to do it. Like, me, if I'm, like, learning, I just. Maybe I have, like, low expectations. Like, I will never actually be good at.
Ders
Hey, Blake, no one is born to do anything except eating shit.
Blake Anderson
Yeah. You just figure it out as you go.
Adam Devine
You kind of realize pretty early if you're, like, good or not.
Ders
And then you sure have a. Then you develop your passion, and then you become good at it. And no one thinks you're corny unless you're corny about it.
Adam Devine
You don't think you. Like, there's stuff where you're like, I'm gonna do this. And you're just obviously are never gonna be good at it.
Blake Anderson
But that's fine. That's fine as long as you like to do it. And also it's grilling food. I guarantee you, you can grill a stack stake, right? And you. You can look.
Ders
And I. I understand the. I understand the complex of not being. Of being like. Of not doing. Not continuing something you are not good at. Like, if you just don't get good at it.
Adam Devine
Like, why am I trying to be this guy?
Ders
But. But it's not being a guy. It's being you doing something. Unless you want to. Unless you hate yourself and you don't want to be yourself. And so you're like, if I start cooking, I'm on record.
Adam Devine
Record.
Ders
If you're If I start cooking burgers, I'm going to lose myself, and I can become this new guy. It'll be beautiful. But maybe you like yourself so much you don't want to learn anything new, because then you'll become a different guy.
Adam Devine
I'm perfect.
Ders
Got it.
Blake Anderson
Perfect for that guy, pal. Any takebacks, any apologies, any epic slams,
Ders
I'll let Blake have the floor. No.
Adam Devine
You guys have a lot to take back before I take back any.
Ders
Any redactions.
Adam Devine
Take it back. You have a lot.
Blake Anderson
What if I take it back? What do I have to take back, Blake?
Adam Devine
Yeah, you tell me, brother. I can't walk it. I can. I can lead the horse to water, but I can't make it drink.
Ders
All right, that's not your path.
Blake Anderson
Okay, Lead me to water then. And then I'll decide whether or not I drink it. Okay, so I'm using your. What you just said.
Adam Devine
And I'm just saying you made a lot of accusations today that are false.
Blake Anderson
I didn't. What? That you are allegedly in the file.
Adam Devine
Yes, yes.
Blake Anderson
Okay. I'm just calling it as I'm seeing.
Adam Devine
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Blake Anderson
All I'm saying is.
Adam Devine
And you in the water. You in the water, you die.
Blake Anderson
Why are you so nervous? Why are you so scared to talk about the. That's all I'm saying.
Adam Devine
It's not right. It's not right. It's not something to joke about. What is it? It's not something to joke about.
Blake Anderson
I'm not joking about it. I want more of the files to come out because I want these guys to go to jail when you keep saying I want it all to go away. Why are we still talking about this?
Adam Devine
What?
Blake Anderson
It's. It's a Democrat hoax. What?
Adam Devine
I didn't say about this.
Ders
I'm reading.
Blake Anderson
I'm reading between the lines.
Adam Devine
You're the friend with Biden, all right? You're the friend with Biden, not me.
Blake Anderson
He's not me. He's not in the files. He's not in the files.
Adam Devine
True.
Ders
Yet. I don't know how to work a goddamn computer. All righty. Adam, are you going to be up in Hollywood. Hollywood. This weekend before the cruise. Or not? Are you down? You down? Are you down?
Blake Anderson
I'm down.
Ders
Damn it.
Adam Devine
I was gonna tell you.
Ders
They're doing for Monarch Legacy of monsters. We're back with season two, and they're doing a, like, Guinness Book of World Records drone situation on Friday night where they're gonna have, like, 600 foot tall, like, Godzilla fighting another monster. Like, in the sky over Hollywood Forever Cemetery, which you would probably be able
Adam Devine
to see from Amazing.
Ders
You're up, but you're down.
Blake Anderson
Way tight. That sounds way tight. And the kiddos would love that. And the kiddo, meaning plural.
Adam Devine
Yes. Which. The old Godzilla movies are also just so sick. When's the last time you watched old Godzilla movies? They are so good.
Ders
Every night. I'm so entrenched in the monsterverse.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, I don't like them.
Adam Devine
Like, Godzilla versus Mechagodzilla or whatever is so, so good.
Blake Anderson
Dude.
Adam Devine
It's literally the best.
Ders
No, the o. The OG Godzilla is kind of sick, and you can't believe how old it is for how good it looks and for how, like, you're, like, in it. You're like, whoa, this is good. But the ones in the 80s and the 70s. I know what you're talking about. Where it's like. It's a dude doing karate dressed as, like, a. A dog from space.
Adam Devine
Yeah.
Ders
So cool, dude.
Blake Anderson
I'm like, dude, the 70s, it's a bot. It got pretty weird.
Adam Devine
The 70s were pretty weird. Rad.
Blake Anderson
Like, did you guys see the. The thing I posted the other day? It was like, when you have. You think that was another episode.
Adam Devine
I blocked you.
Ders
I blocked you when you're.
Blake Anderson
When you're in your 40s and you have a toddler thinking, it'll be fun. It'll keep me young. And then it was a little person, like, doing karate but being absolutely insane and, like, coming down the. Coming down the curtains and, like, scratching down and then, like, doing flips and. And I'm like, the 70s were insane. How was this in a movie? It. First of all, it looked horrific. And secondly, maybe offensive to toddlers.
Adam Devine
They're just. They're just doing whatever they can, man.
Ders
Or to little people.
Blake Anderson
To little people.
Adam Devine
To little people. Yeah. Well, that wasn't on the map yet. That wasn't on the map.
Ders
Isn't it all relative when, like, you first saw Jaws? You're like, oh, my God. Now you watch it, and you're kind of like, well, looks like a styrofoam shark. It's just like, it's. It's what you've seen before versus what you haven't. I don't know. Right.
Adam Devine
Okay.
Ders
Isn't there stuff we grew up on? I mean, Jurassic park still holds up, except for when he leans on the belly of the triceratops and you're like,
Adam Devine
that's just like Jumanji.
Blake Anderson
Yeah, I. I'm watching a lot of, like, kids movies. You know, just both style and.
Adam Devine
Why are you watching kids movies?
Blake Anderson
Because of my son.
Ders
And.
Blake Anderson
And Toy Story is still so dope. But you do see a difference between Toy Story 1 and Toy Story 3 in just the.
Ders
Wait, hang on. Do you think those are real toys?
Adam Devine
No toys. Toy Story 1 has a lot of like, negative space. Like, like the area is not used. It's just like a lot of just color.
Ders
What's real dope? I just watched three the other night, which is a masterpiece piece. If you, if you look at the characters who are from Toy Story 1, they're still very like, simple. And then the newer ones are way more detailed than all that, which is sick. They kind of kept them, period or whatever you want to call that.
Blake Anderson
Okay, and that was another episode.
Ders
This is.
Adam Devine
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Blake Anderson
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Adam Devine
Oh yeah. Now that's a good investment for your stomach. What can you even buy with 10 bucks these days anyway?
Blake Anderson
Not much.
Adam Devine
Especially something that can deliver that level of happiness per minute.
Blake Anderson
Yummy.
Adam Devine
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Ders
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Adam Devine
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Ders
Stop leaving money on the table and download better today. That's BETR must be 18 or older and physically located in a jurisdiction where Better Picks operates. Concerned about your play? Call the NCPG at 1-800-522-4700.
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Ders
Chelsea after the Big Game.
Blake Anderson
Like most people, I kept thinking about the commercials, and there was one that stayed with me.
Ders
It was from the Blue Square Alliance
Blake Anderson
Against Hate, and it wasn't loud or flashy. It showed a Jewish kid being targeted at school and another student who chose not to ignore it. As someone who was Jewish, that moment
Ders
felt very real to me. Not dramatic, just familiar.
Blake Anderson
And what struck me was how clearly it showed that hate doesn't always announce itself, but the impact is still huge. If you saw the Blue Square spot
Ders
during the Big Game, it's worth thinking about. And if you want to show support, support. Sharing the Blue Square is one small way to do that.
Weatherbug Announcer
This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.
Date: March 3, 2026
Hosts: Adam Devine, Anders Holm ("Ders"), Blake Anderson, Kyle Newacheck
Production: iHeartPodcasts
In Episode 288, the hosts dive into a raucous and playful discussion that revolves around the titular “false accusations,” conspiracy theories, the absurdity of social etiquette (especially around party invites), the NBA All-Star Weekend, and the nature of fame and public scandal. The show is heavy on improvisational humor, riffing, and satirical takes on uncomfortable topics—including but not limited to Epstein files, LeBron’s legacy anxiety, and why nobody wants to freeze leftover pizza. As always, the tone is irreverent, self-deprecating, and deliberately provocative.
Timestamps:
Timestamps:
Timestamps:
Timestamps:
Notable Quotes:
Notable Quotes:
The episode is a meandering, joke-filled roast of everything from modern paranoia and digital etiquette to fatherhood and legacy anxiety. The hosts are at their best when chasing down a tangent, piling on, and drawing out the absurdities of contemporary life—especially when the discussion gets lost in the weeds of apps, leftover pizza, and the imaginary crimes of being “in the files.”
For Fans Of:
Improv-heavy, no-holds-barred comedy with tangents on current events, meta-humor, and heavy doses of mock controversy.
Recommended Listening:
Listener Takeaway:
If you didn’t listen, expect a high-energy, chaotically funny hour where no topic is sacred, every accusation is a bit, and the line between earnest crisis and performed outrage is always intentionally blurry.