Tom Ford

Summary

Podcast Summary: This Life of Mine with James Corden

Episode: Tom Ford
Date: October 28, 2025
Host: James Corden (as James Naughtie)

---

Overview

In this deeply personal and engaging conversation, James Corden (hosting under his original name, James Naughtie, for this episode) sits down with iconic designer and filmmaker Tom Ford. Ford reflects on the defining places, people, objects, music, and memories that have shaped his extraordinary life—from Santa Fe roots and 70s New York, to transformative love and loss, and his recent pivot from fashion to filmmaking. Ford’s irreverent humor and candor shine through as he discusses beauty, perfection, grief, and fatherhood.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Voices, London, and Moving Through Cities

[02:14–04:50]

• Tom Ford opens with playful banter about voiceover work, sharing stories about recording fragrance ads and advice from Lauren Bacall on controlling her voice.
• Discussion of living in London, Milan, and Paris due to his career with Gucci, and how returning to LA was shaped by his late partner’s illness.
• Ford expresses love for London’s culture, humor, intelligence, and sophistication.

Notable Quote:

“The thing I love about London—the culture, irreverence, the humor, the intelligence, the sophistication.”
—Tom Ford [04:04]

2. The Place: Santa Fe, New Mexico

[05:07–06:40]

• Ford recalls his childhood home, a traditional adobe house with three-foot-thick walls, and the strong emotional connection he maintains to Santa Fe.
• Early signs of design genius: As a child, Ford would rearrange household furniture for aesthetic reasons.

Notable Quote:

“When I close my eyes and I think about where I want to spend the last years of my life, it’s generally there.”
—Tom Ford [05:14]

3. Early Obsession with Aesthetics and Perfection

[06:50–08:48]

• Describes his perfectionism and how being highly visual causes actual discomfort when things are out of place.
• Childhood experiences: Attended school carrying an attache case at age seven, often teased for his fashion sense.
• Perfection, Ford says, is fleeting and ultimately unsatisfying.

Notable Quote:

“For someone who's enormously visual...it actually causes me pain. Bad lighting causes me pain. It's painful for visual people to stare at things that don't fit into their aesthetic.”
—Tom Ford [07:00]

4. New York in the Glamorous Late 70s

[08:48–13:38]

• Arrived in late-1970s NYC at age 17. Attended Studio 54, met icons like Andy Warhol.
• Ford reflects on the sexual and social liberation of the era and its contrast to today’s standards in fashion and advertising.
• Critique of current beauty norms: Models now look sad and joyless compared to the vibrant, smiling faces of the past.

Notable Quotes:

“It was one of the most amazing places. When we talk today about, you know, transgender, transsexual or the kind of freedom that we're now starting to celebrate with being able to be who you are—it was, it was there, you could be anything.”
—Tom Ford [11:47]

“Today, our beauty standard is hard. It's off putting, it's angry, it's depressed. You look at ads today and everyone looks miserable in their $4,000, $5,000...dress.”
—Tom Ford [12:27]

5. The Music: “Slave to Love” by Bryan Ferry

[13:38–14:58]

• Ford chooses Bryan Ferry’s “Slave to Love” for its sensuality and personal significance, despite partner Richard’s distaste for it on repeat.
• Music as a vessel for memory and emotion.

6. Meeting and Loving Richard Buckley

[15:13–17:29]

• Ford narrates meeting Richard, their immediate connection, and their 35-year relationship.
• The pair, both in creative high points, navigated love during the AIDS crisis.

Notable Quote:

“In my head, it was just, click, click, click...Oh, my God, you’re the one. And that was it. By the time the elevator hit the ground...a month after meeting, we were living together.”
—Tom Ford [16:10]

7. Richard’s Impact and the Meaning of Critique

[17:29–19:18]

• Richard provided grounding, constructive criticism after fashion shows.
• Ford credits Richard with giving the crucial feedback that sparked his creative reinvention at Gucci.

Notable Quote:

“He said...the girls don't want to wear those clothes. That was all I had to say. And I immediately thought, okay...I’m going to make clothes that I think are sexy.”
—Tom Ford [18:14]

8. Sex, Fashion, and the Hairless Era

[19:18–22:47]

• Discussion turns playfully candid: Ford theorizes how he’d approach designing for Corden, and muses on shifting beauty standards—particularly body hair.
• Anecdotes about the current “hairless” fashion period and the time he commissioned merkins for a nude photo shoot because no models had body hair.

Notable Quote:

“So you are very in fashion, James. You don't have a hair on your body.”
—Tom Ford [22:36]

9. Beauty in All Forms

[22:47–23:40]

• Emphasizes his belief that beauty is everywhere, and much of what is considered beautiful is learned.

Notable Quote:

“There is beauty in everything. If you look at it...so much of what we consider beautiful is what we've been fed.”
—Tom Ford [23:26]

10. The Possession: Richard Neutra House

[23:48–25:09]

• Ford selects his former Neutra house in LA, treasuring its design and memories; it was where he brought his son home, celebrated with Richard, and lived some of his happiest moments.
• Reflection on nostalgia, outgrowing possessions, and embracing new beginnings.

Notable Quote:

“Living in this house was like living in a piece of sculpture...Good things happened in that house.”
—Tom Ford [24:02]

11. Mortality, Moving to Filmmaking, and Being Present

[25:09–27:07]

• Ford has long been conscious of mortality and the passage of time.
• Expresses gratitude for becoming a parent later in life, when he could be more present.
• On transitioning from fashion to film: film offers creative permanence and personal imprint, as with A Single Man.

Notable Quote:

“A film is permanent. It's a little world sealed in a bubble and it lasts forever and you are in control. It's the closest thing to being God that one can be, I think.”
—Tom Ford [26:43]

12. The Film: “The Women” (1939)

[28:19–29:23]

• Ford’s most-watched film: George Cukor’s “The Women.”
• Praises the wit, all-female cast, and dialogue—attributes he feels are missing in contemporary cinema.

13. The Memory: Richard’s Death

[29:23–33:03]

• Chosen memory is the sudden, startling loss of his husband, Richard Buckley.
• Shares the raw, vivid details of discovering Richard and how the image is “burned” into his mind.
• Moving from Los Angeles was prompted in part by the weight of those memories.

Notable Quote:

“There is not a day that goes by that I do not see his face at that particular moment in time...it is the most potent and pungent memory.”
—Tom Ford [30:56]

14. Letting Go of the Tom Ford Brand

[33:03–35:04]

• Reflects on selling his brand and the inevitable separation of self from business.
• Emphasizes the need to let go—both in life and in death—to enjoy the time that remains.
• Now focuses on directing films; embraces uncertainty and creativity afresh.

Notable Quote:

“Once you realize that, you realize also the important thing is to enjoy your time on the planet. And if those things are things you no longer enjoy, then let go of them.”
—Tom Ford [34:45]

15. The Person: His Son, Jack

[35:14–37:14]

• Ford’s greatest reason for living is his son, Jack. Ford describes feeling complete and ready for life’s next chapter only because he has Jack to care for and impart wisdom to.
• Quotes Jacqueline Kennedy’s acceptance at the end of her life, drawing parallels to his own sense of having “had a great run.”

Notable Quote:

“If I didn't have Jack, I don't really quite know what I would be living for right now...But because I have Jack, I have something new, something to live for.”
—Tom Ford [35:34]

---

Memorable Quotes

• “Bad lighting causes me pain. It’s painful for visual people to stare at things that don’t fit into their aesthetic.” —Tom Ford [07:00]
• “Perfection...can leave you feeling empty. Sometimes I wish it was an affliction I did not have.” —Tom Ford [08:28]
• “A film is permanent. It's the closest thing to being God that one can be, I think.” —Tom Ford [26:43]
• “There is beauty in everything. If you look at it, so much of what we consider beautiful is what we've been fed.” —Tom Ford [23:26]
• “When we die, we let go of everything...So once you realize that, you realize also the important thing is to enjoy your time on the planet.” —Tom Ford [34:22]

---

Key Timestamps

• 02:14–04:50: Voiceovers, Lauren Bacall story, cities
• 05:07–06:40: Childhood home in Santa Fe and early design inclinations
• 08:48–13:38: New York in the 70s, Studio 54, changing standards of beauty
• 14:00–14:58: Bryan Ferry’s “Slave to Love”
• 15:13–17:29: Meeting Richard Buckley
• 18:14–19:18: Richard's career-changing critique
• 19:18–22:47: Sex, hairlessness, cultural standards
• 22:47–23:40: On finding beauty in the unexpected
• 23:48–25:09: The importance and memories of his Neutra house
• 25:09–27:07: Mortality and the move into filmmaking
• 28:19–29:23: Choosing “The Women” as a formative film
• 29:36–33:03: Richard’s Death—a memory with ongoing impact
• 33:03–35:04: Selling the Tom Ford brand; cultivating impermanence
• 35:14–37:14: Son Jack as his ultimate reason for living

---

Tone and Style

Playful, sharp, deeply honest, and at times, raw—Ford moves easily between self-deprecation and profundity, with Corden offering warmth and gentle humor. The episode explores heavy topics with sensitivity and unexpected candor, interspersed with banter and reflection.

---

For Listeners Who Haven't Tuned In

This episode offers a rare, intimate portrait of Tom Ford’s journey—from the adobe houses of Santa Fe to the heights of fashion, and now to the world of film—anchored by his enduring love for Richard Buckley and devotion to his son, Jack. It's an inspiring meditation on creativity, beauty, grief, renewal, and the relentless quest for meaning and connection.

Transcript

[James Naughtie]

Lemonade. You can listen to every episode of this life of mine ad free. With Lemonada Premium. You'll get access to a quick fire round of questions with this week's guest. And I mean quick fire really quick. Like two minutes or less. Just tap that subscribe button on Apple podcasts or head to lemonadepremium.com to subscribe on any other app. That's lemonade premium dot com.

[Tom Ford]

Oh.

[James Naughtie]

Hello and welcome to this life of mine, the show where our incredible guests pick the places, people, possessions, music, and memories that have made them who they are. Joining me today is a giant of the fashion world, known for transforming the fortunes of Gucci in the 90s. Before setting up its own eponymous fashion brand in the 2000s, that label became hugely successful not only financially, but also in terms of its impact on popular culture. Daniel Craig insisted on getting 007 suits made by him. Michelle Obama wore one of his designs to meet the queen, while Jay Z titled a track in his honor. Not content with his achievements in fashion alone, he began an incredible career as a filmmaker, writing, directing and producing not one, but two Oscar nominated movies, A Single man and Nocturnal Animals. He joins us today at what can only be described as an intriguing point in his life, having recently sold his fashion empire to be a full time filmmaker. I cannot wait to talk about his selections today. He is very much like myself, regularly described as the king of sex. Are you ready to start?

[Tom Ford]

I am. And I love sitting across from the king of sex.

[James Naughtie]

Well, then let's go.

[Tom Ford]

I've always thought of you as the king of sweet sex.

[James Naughtie]

Take us away.

[Tom Ford]

I'm Tom Ford and welcome to this Life of Mine.

[James Naughtie]

That was very good.

[Tom Ford]

Why, yes, that was a. I can do a voice. Jack is always like whenever he hears a commercial or an ad or something, because I've always done them for my own fragrance. He's like, why is your voice like that? And I said, well, because we all have our regular life voice and then we have our. Our voice that we use sometimes when we're doing a voiceover.

[James Naughtie]

See, mine goes the other way. See, I think I become more. Mine gets.

[Tom Ford]

Yours goes higher.

[James Naughtie]

I go higher. Because I do. I do. Mine gets. I get to a point where I get so sort of nervous, I can say, hi and welcome to the show.

[Tom Ford]

I'm gonna. No, you don't.

[James Naughtie]

Well, I'm gonna.

[Tom Ford]

You know, I was qu. I guess towards the end of her life, maybe the last 10 years with Lauren Bacall, and she had such a great voice and she told me that she did that. And, you know, she immediately at dinner, broke into those Fancy Feast cat food commercials. And so she had a great voice, but she also told me that she worked hard to always listen to herself when she spoke on camera and lower her voice.

[James Naughtie]

Well, it's good to know that you've got something to fall back on.

[Tom Ford]

Yes. Voiceover.

[James Naughtie]

Voiceover.

[Tom Ford]

Cat food, for sure. Cat food.

[James Naughtie]

You could do the whole thing. Absolutely. Now we're here in London.

[Tom Ford]

In London. James, you're back in London.

[James Naughtie]

I'm back in London. How long did you live in London before you moved to Los Angeles?

[Tom Ford]

22 years. But I also simultaneously, I moved to the Gucci offices here in maybe 1996, 97. But I had been living in Milan for four years, from 90 to 94. And at the same time I was living in Paris. And so I shuttled back and forth between Paris, Milan and. And London, but really lived primarily in London once I moved to the Gucci offices here.

[James Naughtie]

And how do you feel being here now, just in such a town?

[Tom Ford]

I love London. I love the thing I love about London, the culture, the irreverence, the humor, the intelligence, the sophistication. I mean, LA took on a totally different feel for us. Well, for Jack, you know, when Richard died and he was sick, so we went back to Los Angeles because Richard, my partner of 35 years and husband of nine, was so ill and all of his doctors were in la, and that's why we moved back. And so the whole last five years of our time in Los Angeles was just Cedars Sinai and hospitals. And so we had to escape, we had to get out.

[James Naughtie]

We'll talk more about the impact of Richard's death on you and your son Jack later in the show. But whilst we're talking about places, why don't we start with the place that you've selected for us? Tell us the place that you've selected which is significant in your life.

[Tom Ford]

Well, the place is Santa Fe, New Mexico, which is where I was born, in Texas. But I really grew up in Santa Fe. When I close my eyes and I think about where I want to spend the last years of my life, it's generally there. It's something about the smell, the feeling of the air, the familiarity.

[James Naughtie]

Describe the house for me. What was the house that you grew up in? What was the house?

[Tom Ford]

It was an adobe house, which is very traditional. Santa Fe is one of the few places in America that has a unified architectural style. It's a law. I mean, you can only build your house certain colors, and it's pueblo style architecture. So our house in Santa Fe is a very traditional three foot thick wall adobe house built around a courtyard. And it's, it's, it's beautiful.

[James Naughtie]

Is it true that when you were six, your parents used to leave the house and you would rearrange the furniture?

[Tom Ford]

Yes. 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. I still do it, you know, my father's no longer around, but my mother, if she leaves the house. Yeah, I move things. No, I did it as a kid.

[James Naughtie]

But as a six year old, see.

[Tom Ford]

So I have a six year old push and shove. I could get a sofa down a hall and into another room. I don't know how I did it, but I could. And I think they realized that when I did it, it looked better. So they let me, you know, I'd.

[James Naughtie]

Be like, I can't get my 6 year old to put her shoes on the right feet. Let alone the idea of her being.

[Tom Ford]

Like, well, she's not going to grow up.

[James Naughtie]

This coffee table near the chaise.

[Tom Ford]

Well, she's not going to grow up and go to architecture school and become a designer. Objects, objects. You know, I was explaining to Jack the other day, I walked in and I said, that's driving me crazy. And he said, dad, it doesn't have to be perfect. And I said, jack, it does have to be perfect. For someone who's enormously visual. It is as though you are sticking something into my chest that's. It's pain. It actually causes me bad lighting causes me pain. It's painful for visual people to stare at things that don't fit into their aesthetic.

[James Naughtie]

But this has always been the case. There wasn't a course. When did you start, how old were you when you started wearing a suit?

[Tom Ford]

Oh my God. I was tortured, taunted, teased, beat up as a little kid because I dressed. I didn't have a book bag. I carried an attache case at age seven.

[James Naughtie]

Stop.

[Tom Ford]

No.

[James Naughtie]

What's in and what's in the case?

[Tom Ford]

Like my partner, my pencils, my whatever. But it was an attache case. It wasn't a suit bag. Certainly a jacket, very trim pair of pants. You know, it was the 60s, monk strap shoes. I mean everyone dressed in a much more, you know, you didn't go to shoes and tennis shoes, trainers, sneakers, whatever we call them. You went to school in hard shoes. So I was incredibly visual and I'm still tortured by it. It's something that tortures you because you're never happy. Because perfection, when you achieve it, a. There's no such thing. And when you Achieve it. You achieve it for just seconds because the flower dies. You know, somebody moves the table. It's something that it really can't be achieved. And when it is achieved, it's so fleeting that I think in a lot of ways, it can leave you feeling empty. And so sometimes I wish that it was an affliction that I did not have.

[James Naughtie]

Let's talk about New York in the 70s, because if I could go back to any time in history, I think that's where I'd go.

[Tom Ford]

I would recommend it.

[James Naughtie]

I mean, arguably, it's New York's most glamorous decade, I think. And you went into the.

[Tom Ford]

I caught the tail end of it, and it shaped my life. And I feel so incredibly lucky that I managed to do that. I mean, I was 17, 18, 19 years old. So, you know, leaving Santa Fe, New Mexico, and going anywhere would have seemed exciting, but I caught the tail end of all of that, of Studio 54. And Diane von Furstenberg asked me the other day, she said, I'm not going to do our accent, but, you know, how long have we known each other? And I said, well, Dion, I met you in 1979. I said, you don't remember me. I was dating Fred Hughes, and I remember you, but you don't remember me. So I was exposed to all of these people that, you know, that I'd idolized for so long, and it was an incredible time.

[James Naughtie]

So how did you get yourself into the center of that action, into Studio?

[Tom Ford]

It was really, literally like something from a film. There was a guy in my art history class who was always coming up to me, talking to me, chatting to me, hanging on to me. And I just thought, poor guy has no friends. I had no idea that he was gay. I had no idea gay people really existed. Right. I had, you know, had many girlfriends up until that point, throughout school. And I just thought he had no friends. I was sitting in my dorm room, and I literally. I mean it literally. It was like a film. I said, please, God, let something happen. And I went to the door, and there was this guy in a jacket and tie, and he said, hi. Do you want to go to Studio? And I said, yes. And I put on. I was very, what you call in America, preppy at the time. I put on my jacket, went to a friend's house. Do you want to hear this whole story?

[James Naughtie]

Yes, absolutely.

[Tom Ford]

I went to a friend's house of his. He said, we've got to stop by a friend's house. When they greeted each other at the door, they Kissed on the mouth, I thought. And I thought, oh, God, I think all of these guys are gay, huh? And it was something that I guess deep down I had always been curious about and maybe pushed back. And then somebody said, oh, you know, Andy's coming by and we're all going up to studio and Andy Warhol came by and came in for a split second and we all went out and got in those great Cadillacs that used to have the jump seats. And we went to Studio 54 and we jumped out of the thing and somebody put their hand up. And the crowds, they actually literally pushed people away and. And in we went. They needed 18 year old, attractive, you know, gay boys some nights to sort of fill out, round out. If you had too many socialites and too many people in dinner jackets or you had Princess Grace or you had so and so, it was one of the most amazing places. I mean, when we talk today about, you know, transgender, transsexual or the kind of freedom that we're now starting to celebrate with being able to be who you are, it was, it was there, you could be anything. There would be two guys having sex on the floor in front of a man and a woman in evening dress. You know, it was a completely free environment. And women then were kissable, people were kissable looking, and that was the beauty standard. Today, our beauty standard is hard. It's off putting, it's angry, it's depressed. You look at ads today and everyone looks miserable in their $4,000, $5,000, 20,000 DOL dress. They look miserable and sad. Then they were spinning around, they were happy, they were smiling. You look at old ads from that period, people are smiling and they're classically beautiful. Today, if you're too classically beautiful as either a man or a woman, as a model, you look commercial. Everyone wants people that look sad.

[James Naughtie]

Why is that, you think? Why is that?

[Tom Ford]

I don't know. I don't know. I mean, it must say something about maybe the general sort of dystopian vibe that younger people have today that really, truly do believe the world's going to be a worse place when they grow up than now. Now, I think if you're smiling, people think you're an idiot. They think.

[James Naughtie]

I also think people think you're lying. I think people think you're lying and you're fake.

[Tom Ford]

People think you're an idiot. I think, you know, only an idiot could be happy with everything going on in the world. And by the way, you know, horrible things are going on in the world.

[James Naughtie]

Let's turn a corner. Now let's move on to your next pick, which is music. I was. I was intrigued as to what you choose. I don't know because I didn't know what it would be. I was really interested. I didn't know whether it would be a piece of classical music, you know, a pop song, an opera. I didn't know. So tell us the. The piece of music that's significant to you.

[Tom Ford]

Slave to Love by Bryan Ferry.

[James Naughtie]

Why?

[Tom Ford]

Why? Oh, my God. Just that it's the sexiest song. His voice, the lyrics, I mean, hello. Slave to love. The time that it came out is stuck in my mind. I can feel. It was in the summer that I really became attached to it. I just. I don't know. How do you explain why you love a song?

[James Naughtie]

I can't. Slave to love. I can't escape. I. Slave to love.

[Tom Ford]

I could not tire of listening to that. Is this a slave? Richard hated it. I would constantly be like, oh, God, is a slave to love again. And, you know, yeah, I love it.

[James Naughtie]

But was it a song that Richard liked, but he just didn't want it on repeat?

[Tom Ford]

I mean, Richard loved Adele. Well, you know, towards the end of his life, we both, you know, we. We all love Adele, but. But he didn't really like anything on repeat. I like things on repeat.

[James Naughtie]

Same. Tell me about when you first met Richard.

[Tom Ford]

It was interesting because we. We'd seen each other at a fashion show earlier. I was a young assistant, and he was at the time the. The fashion editor of Women's Wear Daily. And he was at a real career high. Know this. I just looked up and this man with the most piercing blue eyes, they were really the color of water, was staring at me. And it was like he was looking right through me. And it freaked me out. So I bolted. And about a week later, the woman I worked for said, you need to take these clothes up to womenswear Daily. And. And they're photographing them, etc, and they were shooting up on the roof. I took the elevator up, I got out, there was Richard. And Richard was busy telling a friend of his, that's the guy that I saw at the show. I'll go with him. And he got in the lift with me and he was chattering away, batting his eyelashes, acting kind of silly. I was standing completely calmly, just looking at him. But in my head it was just, click, click, click, click, click, click, click. Oh, my God, you're the one. And that was it. By the time the elevator hit the ground, we went out on Three or four dates. Both of our friends were sadly dying of AIDS at the time. So we would have a date. I would go to one hospital, he would go to another hospital. We would spend the night with them. So we were very cautious about sleeping together because at that moment in time, it was very dangerous to do so. And so we had quite a few dates before that happened. But a month after meeting, we were living together, and we were together 35 years until he died.

[James Naughtie]

I feel like from when you met to what was about to happen in your life, you know, it wasn't long after that that you, you know, moved to Gucci, like you say you're moving to Milan, London, all those things. Was having such a stable influence in your life as Richard at that point. How integral do you think that was to your success?

[Tom Ford]

Oh, it was incredibly integral to use your accent. Integral to use mine, although I like yours better. Integral. Because he wouldn't let you know. He felt it was his job to sort of take me down. So it was rough. I would come home and, boy, I got sort of, you know, taken down. He would watch a fashion show and come backstage and everyone was congratulating me, kissing me. They were crying. And he would say, those blacks didn't match. And look, number three, there were two different blacks. You know, it was his job to just pull me down.

[James Naughtie]

Didn't he once say to you. Didn't he once say to you, the women, they don't want to wear the clothes?

[Tom Ford]

Well, Richard was, you know, instrumental in. He said one sentence to me that absolutely redirected my career. My first show at Gucci without as creative director, when Maurizio Gucci was gone and Don Melo, who hired me, had left, it was my first show. I had complete control of it. My brain was still a little bit in Maurizio's concept of what the brand should be, which was an Italian Hermes. The clothes were not remotely sexy at all. And I had worked so hard on it. I didn't understand why it wasn't a hit. And we were in Milan and Richard just said to me, somehow you've got to figure out how to make it sexy. The girls have to want to wear those clothes, and the girls don't want to wear those clothes. That was all I had to say. And I immediately thought, okay, I'm just going to forget about, you know, Maurizio's vision, and I'm going to make clothes that I think are sexy and that people want to wear and, you know, that I want to see people in and so that's what I did.

[James Naughtie]

Talk me through how you do that when suddenly. So it's women's wear. How do you go?

[Tom Ford]

Right.

[James Naughtie]

But. Yeah, but how I would say, what are.

[Tom Ford]

Well, I'm looking at you right now, James gone.

[James Naughtie]

Okay.

[Tom Ford]

And I think, okay, I want to see his pecs. Well, how are they going to look?

[James Naughtie]

I would, too.

[Tom Ford]

Best.

[James Naughtie]

Okay, I'll have to come back in about 18.

[Tom Ford]

How are they gonna look their best? And then I would say, okay, how are we gonna make James's waist look its best? Turn around. Let's look at your ass.

[James Naughtie]

You've really picked a bat subject.

[Tom Ford]

How are we gonna make that ass look a little bit tighter and higher? Not that your ass isn't tight and high. How are we gonna make James look taller? Well, first of all, I want to cut your sweater open. I've seen you. We were just talking about it when you and I shared a plane flight one night, and you were very relaxed and had had a drink, and I saw a really sexy, sensual side of you that you do not show the world.

[James Naughtie]

Oh, God.

[Tom Ford]

So, you know, this is really sexy. Does James have hair on his chest?

[James Naughtie]

He does not.

[Tom Ford]

I. Okay, well, let's see that. Because, by the way, then you're very in fashion.

[James Naughtie]

I'm not very hirsute.

[Tom Ford]

Every time I use that, people say, what the hell does he say?

[James Naughtie]

I'm really not hirsute at all.

[Tom Ford]

Okay. So you don't have to wax because. Right. No one has hair. They don't have pubic hair. They don't have no one straight or gay. We're living in a hairless culture. You can have a beard, but, boy, there's no body hair.

[James Naughtie]

Is it ever coming back?

[Tom Ford]

The bush, you think? Once I personally have to say, I think the bush is the way to go. When about six months after Richard died, maybe a little bit longer, my driver in Los Angeles decided to give me some advice. And he gave me a little trimmer called the bauber.

[James Naughtie]

Oh.

[Tom Ford]

And he said, sir, you've got to get it together. He said, you're on the market now. Now, he had never seen my testicles, but he said, sir, you gotta get it together.

[James Naughtie]

He said, this is amazing.

[Tom Ford]

This leaves no nicks. You can shave anywhere. You don't have to worry that anything's gonna get caught, that anything's gonna get clipped. Here it is. And it's called the ball burr. Or there was another one called happy balls. I'm not joking.

[James Naughtie]

I just love that your driver felt like he could talk about. I Love this.

[Tom Ford]

It's today you've got to have no hair. About seven or eight years ago, I did a shoot for a magazine and I wanted to talk about our fear of male nudity. You know, we use women that are almost nude to sell everything. Microwaves, washers and dryers, everything. But yet in our culture we have this fear of male nudity. And so I did this issue of a magazine where they promised they weren't going to cover anything up and I shot real people and nude. In the end, they didn't have the guts to do it and they stuck censored all over everything. But I had to make merkins for some of these guys because there was not a hair to be found on anyone's crotch. Straight, gay truck driver. Everything was groomed. So you are very in fashion, James. You don't have a hair on your body.

[James Naughtie]

This is splendid.

[Tom Ford]

We don't have to do the sack to crack wax. No, you're done.

[James Naughtie]

You have always had, and I've always loved this about you, a love of. I would say all. But if I think. I'm thinking now about just as you're talking, it suddenly jolted me back to the opening sequence of Nocturnal Animals, which, if for anyone who hasn't seen it, are these incredibly voluptuous women dancing. I think, looking to the camera, there was.

[Tom Ford]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[James Naughtie]

And it's incredibly sexy. But I don't think many, when they think of Tom Ford and they think of Gucci and they think of fashion, would think of a designer who embraces having to embrace such style.

[Tom Ford]

There is beauty in everything. If you look at it, so much of what we consider beautiful is what we've been fed, you know, and you can find beauty everywhere.

[James Naughtie]

Well, let's talk about a possession. Yeah, let's talk about a possession that you've chosen as significant in your life. What is the possession that you've chosen?

[Tom Ford]

My friendship with you.

[James Naughtie]

Stop. What is the possession that you've chosen?

[Tom Ford]

Well, I chose a house. Now, that sounds very spoiled. And, yes, I am very, very lucky in life. Yeah. It was a house that I owned in Los Angeles. It was designed by an architect called Richard Neutra. My degree from university is in architecture. I love architecture. And living in this house was like living in a piece of sculpture. There was never a day, there was never a moment that I didn't walk through this and feel something. It was also a happy house. Good things happened in that house. We brought Jack home from the hospital in that house. Richard was healthy in that house. We had great Parties in that house. I was always happy when I would, you know, come from cold Paris and land in Los Angeles for a few weeks. And it was sunny and it was beautiful and there were palm trees and there was a swimming pool and, you know, we had this killer view. It was. It was a. A possession that in a way, I'm sad I let go of. But that was the past and it's important to move on and create new memories. And so, on the other hand, I guess I'm happy that I don't have it, but I'm happy that I was able to experience it. I look back at things now and can feel them more than I felt them when I was living them.

[James Naughtie]

I mean, do you think now in this moment of your life, you are able to be more present than you were perhaps in your 40s?

[Tom Ford]

I'm trying to be. But I remember someone saying to me when I was younger that time just goes faster and faster as you get older. And it does decades fly by. In fact, people often tell me I have an obsession with death because I have, ever since I was a tiny kid, been very aware of it and aware of a clock ticking and aware of time and where I wanted to be at a particular time in my life.

[James Naughtie]

Oh, really? You? You.

[Tom Ford]

And I am exactly where I thought I would be and wanted to be as a kid. In my life, I wanted a child desperately. Thank God that I had him at the time of my life that I did. Because when I was younger, I was too obsessed with myself and my career and my. And now I'm not, you know, bored with myself, so I can really focus on another human being and creature in a way that I couldn't when I was younger.

[James Naughtie]

But did your decision to start making films, that must have been that.

[Tom Ford]

Was they always there really?

[James Naughtie]

You always wanted to make? You always wanted to direct?

[Tom Ford]

Well, when I was very young, I thought I wanted to act, but I was too self conscious. So I'm much happier on the other side of the camera. So. Yeah, but it's storytelling. Fashion is a way of telling a story. But I feel that after 35 years I've told that story, it's also permanent. A film is permanent. It's a little world sealed in a bubble and it lasts forever and you are in control. It's the closest thing to being God that one can be, I think. And I remember when I was making A Single man, it was a very emotional experience for me. I put a lot of myself into that film.

[James Naughtie]

Jane, let's be honest, what you and.

[Tom Ford]

Jim had together was wonderful, but wasn't.

[James Naughtie]

It really just a substitute for something else?

[Tom Ford]

So is that what you really think after all these years? Hmm? You think Jim was just some kind of substitute for real love? I grafted my own personality onto the character that Colin plays, George. And Julianne Moore's character was very much based on my grandmother. I altered Christopher Isherwood's book quite a bit. However, I cast kept the central theme, which is about living in the present and being present. And I remember thinking while I was making that film and after I made that film, I thought, if anyone even ever needs to know anything about me or what I was like as a human being or what I cared about, watch that film, because everything about me is in that film. Jim was not a substitute for anything to understand, and there is no substitute for Jim anywhere.

[James Naughtie]

It's a brilliant, brilliant piece of work, and it's so assured for a first movie. It's.

[Tom Ford]

Thank you.

[James Naughtie]

It's incredibly accomplished. We've asked you for a film, a film that is significant in your life. Tell us about the movie. I mean, if we're talking about movies that last forever, tell us about the movie that you've chosen.

[Tom Ford]

Well, it was hard to choose because I have a favorite film in every genre from every. Every decade. So it was hard. So I had to really think, what film have I watched the most in my life? And it would be George Cukor's version of the Women, which I believe was 1939. And it was based on a play by Claire Booth Luce, which was from the 20s. And it's an incredible film. There are 125 women in this film and not a single man. And the dialogue, something we've lost in film. Dialogue is so quick. Every time you watch this film, you pick up on a line that maybe you didn't quite catch the first time.

[James Naughtie]

How fucking.

[Tom Ford]

I are tickled to death to be rid of the lotter. The ingrained. Cheer up, Flora.

[James Naughtie]

This is a new kind of lesson in our mood.

[Tom Ford]

That's right, Flora. And see to it that your next.

[James Naughtie]

Husband doesn't become financially independent. Let's move on to a memory that you wanted to share with us, which I know won't be easy to talk about us, but tell us the memory that you've chosen for the show today.

[Tom Ford]

The memory that I've chosen. And maybe, I don't know, I was hesitant to choose it, but the reason I've chosen it is because it's burned so clearly in my head, and it's the Death of Richard. And it's because he died very suddenly and unexpectedly. We were watching television. He walked out of the room, he went upstairs, he collapsed. And I walked into the bathroom, and he had fainted quite a lot at this time because he was really. He had been ill for so long. And I heard the crash, and I thought, oh, God, he's fainted again. Okay, what are we gonna have to do? And I went up, and his eyes were open, and there was an expression on his face, absolutely frozen. And at first I thought, okay, this is some sort of different fainting. Has he had a stroke? Has he? And then I immediately realized he was dead. And I tried to revive him. And I don't want to get too graphic, but that was not successful. And there is not a day that goes by that I do not see his face at that particular moment in time. So clearly I see it more when I'm in Los Angeles, living in the same house where it happened, walking through the same bathroom where it happened, you know, seeing where he lay next to the bed where it happened, which is one reason I've left Los Angeles and moved. It's just so. I don't know that that's the kind of memory that you necessarily wanted or that people really want to hear about, but it is the most potent and pungent memory that maybe will fade a bit, but it was the most startling thing I've ever experienced in my life.

[James Naughtie]

He was an extraordinary man, Richard, and I.

[Tom Ford]

Thank you. But he was.

[James Naughtie]

I always felt lucky anytime I got to spend time with him. And I. I had and still have. And I remember spending time with you and Richard and having such admiration for you as a couple, because I think what you were going through. Richard was unwell for a long time.

[Tom Ford]

Yeah. I was gonna say, I don't think you ever knew him when he wasn't unwell.

[James Naughtie]

I didn't. But I saw him in stages of better health and stages of worse. And then there'd be other times where I'd perhaps just see you on your own. And I would be clear that Richard, I'm sure, would have been longing to be wherever that. But you as a couple, I marveled at you as a couple. I thought you were. These are two people who, I think, for me and for Julia, have been married for 10 years. We would look at you and think, well, that is the embodiment of how you grow with someone. I felt like you were never, ever standing still as a couple. Does that seem right? Absolutely. I felt like you were always evolving individually and Collectively, as a couple. And I think lots of relationships don't do that.

[Tom Ford]

Absolutely.

[James Naughtie]

Yeah.

[Tom Ford]

No, we had an amazing 35 years together. And again, it flew by. It flew by.

[James Naughtie]

I mean, obviously his passing led to then you making some very big changes in your life. Tom Ford, this incredible brand, which you've now sold. So that part of your life has. Has gone. How did that feel? I'm interested to know how it felt when you.

[Tom Ford]

Oh, God, I don't know if I can even tell you how that felt, because, my God, it felt great.

[James Naughtie]

But did it not feel incredibly. Because it. No, really, Because I think, well, it's your name.

[Tom Ford]

It's really no go on at all.

[James Naughtie]

Tell me.

[Tom Ford]

So there's a moment in time where a brand, it separates from you. You know, I often would find myself saying, oh, yeah, well, am I wearing Tom Ford? Yeah, I'm wearing Tom Ford. Meaning, you know, I'm wearing the brand. Not me. I know who I am, but am I wearing the brand? So once it gets to that point and I felt I said everything I had to say in fashion, I thought, well, why not let that change in the brand happen now while I'm alive and have enough money to do whatever I want to do, which is make films? Clock is ticking. I'm 62. I've got 20 more years of hopefully being together mentally, maybe more, maybe less. And I won't want to do something new and something that I feel excited about creatively. So I've detached myself from that. When you sell your company, you have to realize that you no longer have any control over it at all. Things will be generated. You may not like. You might not like the advertising. You might not like what happens to the store design. Maybe you will, if you're lucky. But that you have to let go of it. You know, when we die, we let go of everything. We let go of our houses, we let go of our friends, we let go of our children. We let go of all of it. We leave everything. So once you realize that, you realize also the important thing is to enjoy your time on the planet. And if those things are things you no longer enjoy, then let go of them. Let go of them now while you're alive, and enjoy the rest of the time that you have.

[James Naughtie]

Let's move on to your last selection. And I thought this was just wonderful. Let's talk about the person. Who is the person that you've chosen today and why.

[Tom Ford]

Oh, that's so easy. It's my son, Jack. And I think most parents would say that I Mean, if I didn't have Jack, I don't really quite know what I would be living for right now. I've had an incredibly full life. I remember a quote from Jacqueline Kennedy. In fact, I have many quotes in my head from Jacqueline Kennedy. But one quote was that when she realized she had cancer. And Caroline, if I'm misquoting this, I'm sorry about your mother. But she said, you know, I've had a great, as though she'd been a horse because of course she, you know, was very into horses. And I've had a great run. If I left now the planet. I've had a great run. I've done so many things. I've had a terrific life. I've been incredibly lucky. I've been healthy. I've been in love with someone. I've had people in my life I loved. I've, you know, been able to be creative. I've, I've, I, I've had a great run. So if I didn't have Jack, I don't know that I would even feel the need to live because it's not going to get any better. I could only hope that things might stay at the level that they already had been. But I've had enough. It was wonderful. But because I have Jack, I have something new, something to live for. I have something to look forward to, someone to impart, hopefully a lot of knowledge and things, you know, that I have learned over my life and, you know, so I live for Jack and I think most parents feel that way hopefully about their kids. And he brings me so much joy and I'm sure he will continue to bring me joy and frustration as you know, it's an adventure. And so. So Jack is definitely the most important person in my life.

[James Naughtie]

That is wonderful. It really is. Tom Ford, your place is your house in Santa Fe in New Mexico. Your music is Slave to Love by Brian Ferry. Your possession was the Richard Neutra designed house that you once owned in Los Angeles. Your film was the Women. Your memory was the passing of your partner, Richard Buckley. And your person and is your son Jack. Thank you so much for sharing this life of yours. It was an absolute thrill.

[Tom Ford]

Thank you, James.

[James Naughtie]

Next up is this.

[Mark Duplass]

I'm Mark Duplass and welcome to this life of mine. Our love is deep and we're very sensitive brothers. But if you need me to kill somebody for you and drag them away in a white van, I will do that. I am here for you with some rope. $350 in cash and a shovel if required. I can see myself in my early 20s, driving myself so hard, pushing through the depression, pushing through the anxiety. And I look back, I'm just like, oh, God, I wish somebody had just put their hand on my shoulder and been like, I think what's happening here is you need to go see someone. When I get into a dinner party, what I do is I'm like a computer.

[James Naughtie]

Yay.

[Mark Duplass]

I assess the rhythm scanning, and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna figure out, boop.

[Tom Ford]

Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.

[Mark Duplass]

Here's the assimilation. Here's the version of Mark Duplass who shows up tonight in a dinner party.

[James Naughtie]

That's me in a cab. Yeah. If you haven't subscribed to Lemonada Premium yet, now is the perfect time. You can listen to this life of mine completely ad free. Plus you'll unlock exclusive quickfire rounds of questions with all of my guests. They're all in two minutes or less. Just tap that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts or head to lemonade premium.com to subscribe on any other app. Or you can listen ad free on Amazon Music with your prime membership. That's Lemonade premium dot com. Don't miss out.