#656 - Fahim Anwar

Summary

This Past Weekend #656 – Fahim Anwar

Release Date: April 30, 2026
Host: Theo Von
Guest: Fahim Anwar

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Episode Overview

In this lively and wide-ranging conversation, comedian, actor, and dancer Fahim Anwar joins Theo Von to reflect on comedy, cultural changes, their touring experiences, technology, and the absurdities of modern life. The tone is candid, playful, and often irreverent, peppered with wild hypotheticals, behind-the-scenes tales, and philosophical musings about the nature of fame, community, and creativity.

Fahim promotes his new comedy special, "Intrusive Thoughts," available on YouTube, and shares stories from the road with Theo. Their camaraderie is palpable as they riff on everything from virtual reality orgies to immigrant parents, the past and future of the LA comedy scene, growing up with Michael Jackson, and much more.

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Key Discussion Points & Notable Moments

1. Comedy Specials, Branding & Behind-the-Scenes (03:41–07:00)

• Fahim's New Special:
  Fahim introduces his fourth stand-up special, Intrusive Thoughts, and describes his process of workshopping material in a weekly show, "Fahim Works on Stuff," at The Comedy Store, where audiences witness jokes evolve from rough ideas to polished bits.

  “It’s a weekly series... I work on material, and then eventually sometimes it makes it into the set.” (05:24, Fahim)
  “Nobody works on stuff more than you, bro... like a true comedianist does it.” (06:16, Theo)

• Theo Misreading the Show's Premise:
  Playful banter about confusing Fahim’s show title with fixing cars or appliances, touching on comedy branding.

• Touring Together:
  Fahim thanks Theo for bringing him on Midwest tour dates, offering insight into the scale and nerves of performing for massive crowds.

  “It’s like big wave surfing, for real... your heart kind of sinks a bit.” (22:01, Fahim)

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2. Absurd Modernity: Virtual Reality, Gooning & Outlandish Hypotheticals (08:00–21:20)

• Jumbotron Parachuter Incident:
  They riff on news of a parachutist hitting a stadium Jumbotron, blending into a discussion about the changing nature of sexual habits, technology, and generational disconnects.
• "Gooning" Explained:
  The duo uses AI tools to define "gooning"—a contemporary term for marathon, trance-like masturbation with multiple porn tabs.

  “Modern sexual meaning… marathon masturbation where someone stays aroused for a long time.” (17:06, Theo reading AI result)

• Virtual Reality Orgies in Inappropriate Locales:
  They imagine VR-sex games set in historical disasters or depressing locations, leading to hilarious pitch ideas for a movie called "Goonies" (but about gooning).

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3. Touring Stories & Small Town America (23:32–27:54)

• On the Road Anecdotes:
  They share stories from the tour, including a “wizardly” moment involving a fan’s hat repeatedly blowing away in the wind in Clear Lake, Iowa.

  “That hat’s going to be here all the time… this guy’s a bigger fan of this hat than he is of you.” (26:06, Fahim)

• Visiting the Surf Ballroom:
  Nostalgia for American musical history; touring the venue where Ritchie Valens and The Big Bopper played their last concert.

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4. The LA Comedy Scene: Past, Present & Future (51:52–57:56)

• Comedy Store’s Evolution:
  They reminisce about the pre-pandemic heyday, name-checking comics like Rogan, Segura, Schlesinger, and Burr, and how the scene changed after many stars moved to Austin or elsewhere.

  “We were in the heyday of the Comedy Store. We didn’t even know it before COVID happened...” (52:38, Fahim)

• New Opportunities for Up-and-Comers:
  Losses at the top cleared space for younger comics, reflecting the ever-renewing cycles of the scene.
• Rise of Digital Comedy:
  Fahim notes platforms like TikTok democratize access, making comedy less centralized around the big cities.

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5. The Drive to Create and Evolving as a Comic (44:49–50:59)

• Pushing Creative Boundaries:
  Fahim opens up about always wanting to try new material over repeating proven jokes, and how this is now an asset.

  “I loved new material more than crushing.” (44:14, Fahim)

• Physical Comedy & Dance Origin:
  Fahim attributes his comfort with act-outs and physicality in stand-up to solo dance sessions inspired by Michael Jackson during childhood.

  “I would just close the door, turn on Michael Jackson... and just dance in my room.” (48:30, Fahim)

• Using the Body as an Instrument:
  Theo relates how physical fitness and yoga help his comedy presence, discussing the non-verbal aspects of humor.

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6. Fame, Media, and the Nature of Success (86:22–94:28)

• MTV Past and Perspective on Fame:
  Theo shares how early MTV/road rules popularity offered fleeting benefits (“no money, no ownership of fans”) and eventual lessons about what real value there is in popularity.
• Generational Shifts:
  They riff on how younger people now see content made by other young people, while their own generation grew up with adults playing teenagers on TV.

  “We were watching balding 30-year-olds try to be in high school on TV shows...” (87:10, Fahim)

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7. Cultural Identity, Stereotypes & Media Narratives (124:12–129:22)

• Being Muslim/Afghan-American in Post-9/11 US:
  Theo invites Fahim to discuss negative branding of Middle Eastern people and Muslims, and the reality of being “painted with broad strokes.”

  “Being a minority is kind of like having an away jersey you can never take off.” (126:00, Fahim)

• Changing the Narrative:
  They note how social platforms help counteract stereotypes compared to legacy media’s narrowcasting.
• Empathy & Shared Humanity:
  Fahim expresses optimism about people’s kindness, despite media agendas.

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8. Technology, Culture, and the Surreal Present (112:50–123:35)

• Robot Dogs in Apartment Complexes:
  They react to videos of surveillance robots, associating their increasing presence with the absurdity of modern tech.
• Weed and the Evolution of the Drug War:
  A classic anti-drug PSA leads to musing on how culture went from demonizing marijuana to commodifying it.

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9. Memorable Quotes & Riffs

• On Modern Product Branding:

  “Mr. Beast has a chocolate. The Rock has a tequila. You know, Beyonce has a toothpaste. Now all our products are just faces. It’s interesting.” (41:12, Fahim)

• On Surviving/Thriving in Comedy:

  “Audience members get to be hip to you... they come for Burr, but then discovered these other comics. That happens now at the Store.” (53:00, Fahim)

• On Human Experience & Suffering:

  “Life is SimCity. There’s not a perfect system... something’s gotta give eventually. We can do our best.” (40:09, Fahim)

• On Immigrant Parents & Comedy:

  “We evaded the Russians for you to try this new bit?” (97:36, Fahim)

• On Resilience in the Face of Self-Doubt:

  “These guys (like Spade, Sandler) that I thought were titans of comedy... they were afraid of being fired week to week on SNL.” (67:55, Fahim)

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Timestamps for Select Segments

• Fahim's new special & working process: 03:41–07:00
• Touring stories: Midwest run & Clear Lake hat anecdote: 21:28–27:45
• LA Comedy Store reminiscence & current scene: 51:52–57:56
• Discussion on "gooning," VR, and group sessions: 15:46–21:20
• Growing up dancing & comedy origins: 47:03–50:14
• Discussing identity and post-9/11 stereotypes: 124:12–129:22
• AI, robot dogs, and weird technology: 112:50–118:17
• The perils and lessons of early fame/MTV: 86:22–92:27
• Behind-the-scenes moments with celebrity drop-ins at The Comedy Store: 57:56–66:29

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Episode Highlights & Takeaways

The Magic of Comedy:
This episode is a candid celebration of stand-up, creative risk, and the process of evolving as a performer. Both comics are honest about their insecurities, failures, and triumphs.

Modern Absurdity:
They tackle the bizarre realities of “late stage capitalism,” AI, and internet culture, all with sharp humor and skepticism.

Reflections on Fame & Community:
With stories from two nontraditional comedy backgrounds, they discuss what’s real vs. surface-level about attention, both past (MTV, touring) and present (social media, club hierarchies).

The Power of Human Connection:
Whether on stage, online, or with lifelong friends, both find purpose and joy in novelty, community, and shared moments—a vital theme throughout the episode.

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For Listeners: Where to Find More

• Fahim Anwar’s New Special: Intrusive Thoughts is now streaming free on his YouTube channel.
• Follow Fahim: On social platforms for more stand-up clips and his unique takes.
• Theo’s Podcasts & Live Dates: Visit theovon.com for upcoming live events and previous episodes.

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The Final Word

The episode is a rollercoaster of deep cuts, wild scenarios, and genuine insight into what it means to make people laugh—and think—in a world that's never been weirder. Both Theo and Fahim shine in their unfiltered element, leaving the listener with plenty to laugh (and ponder) about long after the show ends.

Transcript

[Theo Von]

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[Fahim Anwar]

R

[Theo Von]

Today's guest is a standup comedian. He's an actor, and he's a dancer. He's a dancer. We've been friends for a long time, and it's great to finally have him in. His new special, Intrusive Thoughts is right now available on YouTube. We've got a link in the description. Today's guest is my friend, Mr. Fahim Anwar.

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh,

[Theo Von]

I'm saying over. That doesn't even happen. Somebody just said there were some fires going on.

[Fahim Anwar]

Are there? Remember when everyone had that fire app for like, three weeks? Oh, and then we deleted it.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, right. Like, we just. We're all about that fire app, but, like, I deleted it.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Are you still trying to find out, like, what fires are going on in Oregon or something?

[Theo Von]

Oh, bro. When people had that app. Bring up that app. What was that?

[Fahim Anwar]

Was it called Fire?

[Theo Von]

I mean, I think it was called Something's Burning. Was it just an advertisement for Berkreicher's podcasts?

[Fahim Anwar]

It was cross pollination.

[Theo Von]

What was that app? Watch Duty. That was the app.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Remember, it was like, oh, there it is. Oh, it's on the fire. It's like, oh, it's on Venice Boulevard, you know?

[Fahim Anwar]

Well, it was like, you thought, you're going to die, so you just like, am I by the flames? Do I have to outrun it? It just says run. It just pops up, dude.

[Theo Von]

That. That was it right there. Remember? And the flames would get bigger and stuff. They had airplanes going by, and every now and then they would have this like. Like a burning emoji would just run across the screen.

[Fahim Anwar]

They would have an icon of a guy setting fires. You're like, somebody take care of him. Why is he. Cops. Get on it.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, dude, that app was crazy. And it was like, oh, leave your popcorn kernels out on your veranda.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's gonna be a hot one.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah, it's crazy. They're like, oh, it's gonna be. Yeah, definitely. It's a great day to make some. It's a great day to get some popcorn going.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. I mean, it was bittersweet. Like, the developers were probably stoked.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

That, you know, everyone's downloading the app. But it's a shame that, like, this has to happen for the downloads to go through the roof. Maybe they're starting it.

[Theo Von]

Dude. That's what I was saying. I wonder if they could find. Knowing what we know now, like, I wonder if they could find, like, a connection between the developers were the ones starting the fires. Because that's what you start to realize in the world. It's like. Yeah. If there's a crazy app that comes out that helps solve a problem, the other side of the makers of the app sometimes are. They're in conjunction with the people making the problem.

[Fahim Anwar]

You got to create the need. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

You got to create the need, dude. Fahim Amwar. Good to see you, dude.

[Fahim Anwar]

Thanks for having me, man. Oh, man.

[Theo Von]

Same.

[Fahim Anwar]

Thank you. This is great.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, it's been awesome, man. Thanks for your patience, too.

[Fahim Anwar]

Of course.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. I know you got. You have a new special that's coming out, right?

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Theo Von]

And what's the name of it?

[Fahim Anwar]

It's called. I'm blanking on it.

[Theo Von]

Oh, I'll help here. And this will help. The name of it.

[Fahim Anwar]

I should know what it's called.

[Theo Von]

Intrusive Thoughts, bro.

[Fahim Anwar]

There you go. I need some of them right now. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

It's almost like. Yeah, yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

You could use one that's just doing a promo run. This is good to get the kinks out. What's the name of the special? Let me just do the biggest podcast. And they go, what's the name of the special? Should I look? I want to hit every camera where I have a brain fart. Intrusive Thoughts. Yeah, There you go. I think I was thinking of my last special, and I. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And it's out now.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's out now. Yeah. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Oh, nice, man. Congratulations.

[Fahim Anwar]

Thank you, man.

[Theo Von]

And you're also. What's the show that you do? It's the fixing, the working.

[Fahim Anwar]

The Working on stuff.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

So it's in the belly room at the Comedy Store. That one's called Fahim Works on Stuff. And it's a weekly series. I do. I work on material, and then eventually sometimes it makes it into the set. So, like, this hour, I did a lot of those jokes, ended up making it. But if you, like, stand up and how it's crafted and stuff, that's a fun one to check out.

[Theo Von]

Oh, so. So for, like, from the stage all the way, and then they. How they ended up in.

[Fahim Anwar]

Well, it's just me trying jokes out. Like, I have paper and stuff, and there's, you know, the way we write material. You know, you get ideas and you try it out. I just. I film it and then I put it up. And I'd love to have you do it sometime, too. I'd love to have you on the show.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, man, if I'm in town, I'd love to do it, dude. Thank you.

[Fahim Anwar]

Of course.

[Theo Von]

I thought it was like, Fahim works on Stuff. It was like, you fixing, like, a motor or something.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. That's bad branding, I guess. Some people in the comments are like, I thought there'd be a carburetor, and that's on me, but I'm on the thumbnail. I have a. I'm doing this.

[Theo Von]

There you go, right there. But he works on stuff, and his friends drop by. That's great.

[Fahim Anwar]

So, yeah, it's a nice.

[Theo Von]

It's so you, dude. Nobody works on stuff more than you, bro. You are like, you're the guy that's always done, like, to me, that's always done it. Like a comedy, like a true comedianist does it. If people have an idea of what that is and everybody's Ideas can be different, but if you had, like, this idea of, like.

[Fahim Anwar]

Well, it's very flattering, man. Thank you, man.

[Theo Von]

But, yeah, I was expecting something like a car, but I was expecting something different or I just thought it was like, one of the, like, Bert Kreischer shows. Whatever. He. Like every other, you know, he always has something like Bert fights a mole or whatever, you know?

[Fahim Anwar]

Right.

[Theo Von]

It's like, you know, I'm just.

[Fahim Anwar]

I'm working on a different thing every show. Like, it's a skateboard one show, a bmx.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

And then maybe an Apollo.

[Theo Von]

He's giving.

[Fahim Anwar]

He's building in the comments. What do you want me to work on next? Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And then your. Your wife's like, why don't you work on this marriage or whatever, dude, Are you married?

[Fahim Anwar]

I don't know.

[Theo Von]

Okay, never mind.

[Fahim Anwar]

I don't work on that. I only work on jokes and.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah, because.

[Fahim Anwar]

What was that? You guys whipped that up just now? Yeah. Wow.

[Theo Von]

Fahiman were working under the hood. Always greasing, bro. That shit's dope, dude. You're kind of black arming there, but

[Fahim Anwar]

they've given me bigger forearms. I kind of like that.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, you look. It made me beefier, dude. That chassis grease right there, that can of.

[Fahim Anwar]

I like how they kept the apple watch. That's. AI is not cutting me a break at all,

[Theo Von]

bro. You got to. You got to have something on you to let you know when lunch is, bro.

[Fahim Anwar]

That's the thing. Should I do this? I look way happier doing this. I. I haven't smiled this much ever on stage, but I'm just looking. Well, it's like my child.

[Theo Von]

Oh, with that pride. That's great, dude. What was I gonna ask you about? Oh, you see that guy hit the Jumbotron or something that.

[Fahim Anwar]

No, I missed it. What was it?

[Theo Von]

I mean, this is way less important than your special, but let's. Let's veer off. Yeah. Another view of the parachuter who hits the Jumbotron at the Virginia Tech game. This is the problem now with dei, dude. It's like they can't even get a good parachuter.

[Fahim Anwar]

Do we know the race of the guy who was parachuting, though? He survived.

[Theo Von]

I mean, but that's crazy, bro. Just another Gooner getting too close to the screen, huh? Dude, you would think, what if the

[Fahim Anwar]

whole stadium just saw a guy die before a game? Do they continue the game?

[Theo Von]

That's a great question.

[Fahim Anwar]

Like, you do a half at least, right? You do a half, and then out of respect, you don't play the rest of the half. You play half a game when a guy dies.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. That'd be crazy. What would happen. Say that guy who obviously was. What was he doing? Where he got too occupied?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. Where he was on his phone.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

It was just like this. He was watching footage of him. He's like, well, I'm getting pretty close to that thing.

[Theo Von]

Oh, man. It's just sad, bro. That gooning. Dude, those guys want to get so close to the screen, dude. They want to be right there. It's not enough. We used to masturbate, like, in, like, almost what is considered now kind of archaic way pages. Yes.

[Fahim Anwar]

A 2D image.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Like, kids don't know what that's like to. That's like jerking off to a shadow at this point. You know what I mean?

[Theo Von]

Yeah. The only volume was you had to quietly turn the page. Remember that?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. Sometimes you would, like, move it around and make it dance. Make it seem like she's really there.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Now they're like, Apple vision Pro. They're like, load me up. They're loading up different chicks. They're having threesome.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, they're having eightsomes. They're having a freaking other. Like, there's. They have one where an octopus will jerk you off. And if you guess the army's gonna do it with, like, you win more coins or whatever, I'm like, what is it?

[Fahim Anwar]

That'd be cool if there was an orgy with, like, everyone's wearing an apple vision pro, but it's just like, 12 people naked in a room. Like, y' all could be fucking each other. And they're like, yeah, the environment's better in this one. We're on the pyramids.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude, what are you talking about? We're on the Mayflower. Why would I in my living room like some. Like, some senior citizen when I could. On the challenger. But you only have 40 seconds to the challenger. Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

So it's like sort of like a bus contest. You have to do it under the clock or you blow up. You have to bust before you bust. Yeah, that's the name of the game.

[Theo Von]

And go.

[Fahim Anwar]

You died without busting. What game is this?

[Theo Von]

Oh, damn, dude. It's definitely getting.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's free. But then you have to pay for the tokens. That's where they get you. Yeah, game's free.

[Theo Von]

The game is free. But, yeah, you get different coins too. I know. There's like, the. There's that one. I know. Virtual reality sex thing where they could. They're Having sex on, like, famous, like, sad times that happened. I think there's one they're doing now. Palantir is doing one where you can just do it right in the Gaza rubble. They're offering that.

[Fahim Anwar]

That's a new service. Yeah, they're pivoting.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's sort of like allbirds. The shoe company went AI and everyone's like, okay, yeah, that's like Crocs getting into, like, biotech, you know, and that's just the loud.

[Theo Von]

Dude, that's so funny, bro. Imagine Palantir, actually. They would come out with something like that dude, that soulless group. Yeah. But there's. That's where it's going to get to. It's like, oh, well. Oh, sorry. I would love to work out today, but I'm like, I'm banging a couple chicks on the trail of tears later this afternoon. Like, I'm meeting up with a couple of friends. We have. We're meeting up in an opioid crisis basement from, like 2022. You know, it's just gonna get weirder and weirder.

[Fahim Anwar]

Why does it have to be like, busting to sad? It's just. It's a funny. Those are the only levels. It can't be a meadow. It has to be like, the worst.

[Theo Von]

What do you mean, like a meadow? Like a meadow from, like, the hills. Like, like the Sound of Music or Sound Music.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, that'd be nice.

[Theo Von]

Oh, that'd be beautiful. Like in Stockholm.

[Fahim Anwar]

Sure. Is that where it was?

[Theo Von]

Bring up a Stockholm meadow, please. What is it like there?

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, that's nice.

[Theo Von]

Oh, God, look at that.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's like XP screensaver right there.

[Theo Von]

And where. Yeah, that is. Remember that when the nicest thing, your house was your screensaver.

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, yeah.

[Theo Von]

But you looked out of your real windows and it was just like a bunch of like. It was like two black dudes fighting like a. Like a crow in Baltimore or whatever.

[Fahim Anwar]

What if that was the screensaver they sent to the hood? Like, you couldn't even have the rolling. It had to be like, what's outside your window?

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

So it couldn't even be that. It was just like, dilapidated cars.

[Theo Von]

What is that place? Oh, go back to the previous one. Nick, what have you clicked on right here? Green Meadow at Aronson Johagen. But yeah, dude, you're right. I'm thinking of, like, negative things.

[Fahim Anwar]

But it is funny. I do like that constraint that it's a pretty awesome video game, but it has to be in terrible places. Yeah, that's just the deal.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Maybe the Patch will let you do nice places, but until then, we're beta testing the terrible places.

[Theo Von]

Right. In the beginning, it's like a virtual reality sex thing.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Okay. But in the beginning, you only get to, like, like, do, like. You can have orgies and meetups. You're allowed to have, like, six or seven friends, but you can't have, like, 40 friends join you, Right? Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Then you have to pay. That's like a paid tier.

[Theo Von]

Yes. And you get, like. You unlock better places to be able to kind of basically jerk off in hypothetically that you would never be able to go to, because what do you

[Fahim Anwar]

think the ultimate unlock is?

[Theo Von]

Ooh. Well, what are some second tiers even? Let's, if you don't mind.

[Fahim Anwar]

You unlock movie theater, let's say, if you want to throwback, you know.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Movie theater may.

[Fahim Anwar]

Like a porn theater back in the day.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Jets game or whatever.

[Fahim Anwar]

Sure. Do you think there's a guy. I mean, that's terrible, Right? But kudos to the guy who can do that, who can bang it out to a Jets game, you know?

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Like, football's going on. There's peanuts and popcorn, and he can still, like. If there was a, like, a talent scout for adult films, it'd be like, that guy. He's going to do it on cue.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, he. We're looking at him for the second round. Yeah. We're drafting.

[Fahim Anwar]

Most people. Can't with, like, a few people watching. This guy does, like, a whole stadium.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. That's scary, dude. Imagine I would have dreams where I had imagined. Like, it was, like, a big thing and you had to jerk off a mountain or whatever. Like a village couldn't eat or whatever, and everybody's there cheering and shit.

[Fahim Anwar]

That's a lot of pressure. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And then it's like eight more weeks of winter for your stomachs, bro. Y' all ain't eating shit, dude. Because y' all made me too nervous up here.

[Fahim Anwar]

You blame it on them.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, we have to. They're cheering. Don't cheer.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's like golf.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

I need silence. I can't do this with you yapping in my. Have to start over. I have it, and then I lost it. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, that's it.

[Fahim Anwar]

Can you get in the other room?

[Theo Von]

Oh, but, yeah, that's just sad. Some guy jumps out. I guess he jumped out of a rocket or something. I mean, what was he even doing?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And then. Yeah. What would some of the. Yeah. What was some of the highest tiers be like? Okay. And you can't really tell your Parents. Unless they're like, also play the game.

[Fahim Anwar]

Then they already know.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Then they see you, like, because your gamer tag is on there.

[Theo Von]

Yes.

[Fahim Anwar]

And your dad sees that and you go, you play too.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, that's. That's sad, dude.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And when the power goes out of your place and both you and your dad, you just hear each other like, dang, God. Because both y' all just got shut down and you're freaking from the goonosphere or whatever. What do you bring up? Let's. I want to learn more about gooning. Do you know a lot about it?

[Fahim Anwar]

I don't know. These young kids, you know, they have all these terms and then I learned about it way too late. So gooning, is that just like pining? Is that the new version of pining?

[Theo Von]

I'm not good. I think it's just like, you're into something. Let's bring it up here on Perplexity. They help us.

[Fahim Anwar]

I feel like this is overkill for AI. This is like shooting a fly with a cannon. AI, what is gooning? You have like Tony Stark shit. Just to explain AI. What's two plus two? Perplexity is a sponsor. We're going to pull up two plus two. Perplexity. What color is the sky?

[Theo Von]

My Perplexity must think I am the fucking dumbest guy in the world, dude. We ask the most basic shit because we don't know it.

[Fahim Anwar]

This is the most Theo thing though, ever. This is like quintessential Theo. Like pull up a. Pull up Gooning. Just the most robust infrastructure for the silliest thing.

[Theo Von]

We built all of this just to look that up. Dude. They need to do a remake of Goonies. But it's gooey. But it's gooning, bro.

[Fahim Anwar]

You sold it in the room.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

You sold it on name alone, bro.

[Theo Von]

You telling me. And they all have to get to one magic spot and they all jerk off in like, a cup. From, like a senior citizen from like 2000 years ago.

[Fahim Anwar]

I just picture you in a suit at Paramount pitching this. Like, you're saying all the same things and you pitch it in a suit.

[Theo Von]

What does it say? Quick definition. Modern sexual meaning in current Internet slang is a form of marathon masturbation and porn consumption where someone stays aroused for a long time. So it's basically like trying to keep the party going. You. And also, I think it's trying to keep your wiener up. So it's trying. There's like a level of like, you know what?

[Fahim Anwar]

The.

[Theo Von]

They get the fish thing when they try to get the dolphin like stay on its tail for a little while.

[Fahim Anwar]

So gooning is the human equivalent of a dolphin staying on the water?

[Theo Von]

Yeah. When they.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yes, you have to make that sound when you're gooning.

[Theo Von]

Mine sounds like a broke down gay dude. Hold on.

[Fahim Anwar]

That's pretty good. Yours is like half and half human, half dolphin. Like the blade.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Mine sounds like an Asian car that won't start. Dude, just.

[Fahim Anwar]

So that's gooning pretty much. Huh.

[Theo Von]

Let's get a little more. Sorry.

[Fahim Anwar]

Is it like edging? Didn't. Wasn't that a thing before?

[Theo Von]

Well, someone stays aroused for a long time, often hours edging themselves into a trance, like zoned out state rather than just quickly getting off. That's crazy, bro. So I didn't know that. I thought it was just, I mean, I guess, I mean I knew that it was somebody like that was really locked in on seeing their, their penis and wanting to come or just being involved with pornographia, you know, or porno or whatever. I knew it was a lot of that, but I didn't know that this exists. Well, just the levels they're going to for it. Solo means non partnered porn driven off your multiple tabs, niche content things on loop. What are you doing? Are you like Reggie Watts or whatever?

[Fahim Anwar]

Like you have a loop machine. You're playing this thing. You're like a dj. What is the birth of hip hop? It's a new genre of porn where like people would just play the whole thing. But I started chopping it up and now people come to my porn DJ sets all the time. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Everyone's like, yeah, the Coachella main stage

[Theo Von]

and the beat drops, dude. And just like fakes like that's when

[Fahim Anwar]

the fog comes like, or the foam like in Ibiza.

[Theo Von]

Oh, that's gooning, man. Dang. It's entering long, long before anything to do with porn, goon meant things like fool, thug or a henchman. The history roughly looks like older English roots gone.

[Fahim Anwar]

Do you think old fashioned goons are upset that it's like their word has been taken away? They go, no, I don't do that. I'm a goon.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

I'm a real. I'm a muscle. I'm a goon for the mob. I'm not these Gen Z, Yeah, Gen Z are. I'm an OG goon.

[Theo Von]

I'm a real goon, brother.

[Fahim Anwar]

I'm a real goon.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. I'm not just jerking off or whatever somewhere. But it's just sad that like this is kind of like our military now. It's like there's enough of them doing it now where it's like they have, like, meetups and they have like, you know, they have almost like those dance a thons or whatever, where it's like.

[Fahim Anwar]

Like, it's like, what is it, Fonzie? Like a sock hop or something?

[Theo Von]

Yeah, it's like we're raising money for testicular cancer. Whatever. And how many kids are in the. Like, what's it called if people goon together? Is there a. There's got to be something that actually

[Fahim Anwar]

sounds, like, good for the community. Quit gooning by yourself. Goon together.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

The goon Off. Yeah. Down at the local gymnasium. Winner. Winner of the goon off gets a Hyundai Elantra.

[Theo Von]

When people say goon together, it's typically referred to as a group gooning or participating in a goon session. Communal gooning, often organized via online communities like Discord, Reddit, and adult platforms. Wow. Huh.

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, group sessions. Okay.

[Theo Von]

This must be. I think this is a younger person's thing, too. Like a teenage or adult. I mean, like, or college age. I don't really. I don't think I have the time to devote to that.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, it seems like a lot of time. I wonder if we're just out of touch. Like, do you think parents are like, I don't understand your goon. He's like, you don't get me, dad. Yeah, me and my friends are doing it. If we're just too old.

[Theo Von]

Richard, he's in there gooning right now.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's like that, that weed commercial. Like, where did you learn to goon? I learned it from you.

[Theo Von]

I'm watching you.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Oh, that shit hit me, dude. I didn't even have a kid. I was. I was a kid. I was a kid, and I just felt all the pain of it. Like, God. Oh, man, that's wild, dude. Anyway, bro, good to see you, dude.

[Fahim Anwar]

Same, man. Thank you for having me. And then I don't know if I told you officially, but thank you for having me on tour with you with those dates. Like, that was so fun to do. I'd never done something like that. So, like, I've been doing stand up a long time, but I haven't played venues like that before.

[Theo Von]

Where do we play in Seattle now?

[Fahim Anwar]

No, no, we did the Midwest run, so we did Iowa. We did Minnesota, we did North Dakota, South Dakota.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

But I've just never played venues that large before, so. I mean, the largest I've done before I came out with you is 7,000 at the Dolby 7,000 people. And then we did some of these were like 18,000. I just want to do that for me. Just like, what is that? Like, it's like big wave surfing, you know, for real. It's scary, man, because I met up with you guys in Iowa, I think at first, like, tour bus. There's the venue and all that. And then you look at the seats in the daytime and it's. It's like that scene in Interstellar where they see that giant wave. You know what I mean? Like, you're like. Your heart kind of sinks a bit. You're like, oh, man, these are going to be filled with people. But then you do one and you're like, I know what this is.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, it takes some. It's like. I mean, definitely navigating. Some of that is different. And thanks for coming, dude. I appreciate it, man. Thank you so much, dude. A lot of times it's, like, tough to get a lot of headliners to come out on the road because a lot of them are working different weekends or something like that. And, um, I know that was an off weekend for you, so thanks for coming out. Yeah. Dude, were we at the place where that. That place in North Dakota was, I think, the biggest building I'd ever been in.

[Fahim Anwar]

Fargo Dome.

[Theo Von]

Yes.

[Fahim Anwar]

That was insane.

[Theo Von]

The buses were, like, inside and they were. And then there was a whole nother inside where they had, like a basketball court.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, we were playing basketball before the show behind a curtain. It was like two stadiums almost. The place was divided in half. And it was. Even with it divided in half. It was huge.

[Theo Von]

It was unbelievable. And there was like. Yeah, they're like. They have. They sell animals in here. They do everything here. They churn it. They earn it, Whatever. Like, they had a whole shirt, like, churning urine or whatever. It was like their. It was like kind of an Amish thing. And then like. Like defeating, like sexual sin or whatever.

[Fahim Anwar]

Right. They do that. But do you remember? I don't know if you told the story. My favorite. There's like two moments from the tour that I like were my favorite. The. The guy's hat blown off. Have you told that on here?

[Theo Von]

No, I haven't told that.

[Fahim Anwar]

You remember, right?

[Theo Von]

Yeah, it was like wizard work.

[Fahim Anwar]

Well, we were in Clear Lake, right?

[Theo Von]

Yes.

[Fahim Anwar]

So what's cool about you? Like, you want to do stuff in the town? Back in the day, I would tour with Bobby, and he just. He's like a vampire. He just closes and he's in the darkness until it's time for the show. But you actually want to hang out. And so we got lunch. We're in the tour bus. Right.

[Theo Von]

He's like a Chinese vampire.

[Fahim Anwar]

I think he does Xbox or PlayStation till the show.

[Theo Von]

He's fucking gooning.

[Fahim Anwar]

He's really gooning.

[Theo Von]

He started it, dude. He's data from Goonies too.

[Fahim Anwar]

Like, he's patient zero for gooning.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Okay, so we. We get lunch before the shows, and we parked on the outskirts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then. So right before this even happened, we're gonna walk to the sandwich shop because you're like, oh, it's rated pretty high on Yelp. So we're in the middle of nowhere, pretty much. It's a beautiful town, right?

[Theo Von]

That. Unbelievable.

[Fahim Anwar]

So nice. Like a Spielberg movie or something. Small town, usa. We're just walking down the thoroughfare and it's blowing like you're not supposed to be there. It's so weird to these people. They're like. Then there's this guy, this heavyset guy, you know, he's like, what the.

[Theo Von]

What the fuck?

[Fahim Anwar]

The. Oh, man. Can I get a picture? And then he came up, but we were kind of running late. And he's like. You're like, sure thing, man. Just. We're running a little late. If you can, like, you know, keep up with us and we'll get. We'll get that selfie. He's like, you got it. And then it was really. It was like, really windy. So he, like, he gets up to you and the wind just blows his hat off.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Right when he got.

[Fahim Anwar]

Right when he got up to you, he's like, oh. Oh. So then. And it was. It was like, bad wind. It went like a block away.

[Theo Von]

It was bad when, like, it was like. That's one of the reasons why we were trying to get like. It was like, dude, we're going to be late where we're going. We would have been on time, but the wind was like. It was uphill when you were just flat. It was the worst winds that I'd ever been in. And it was beautiful day, insane winds. Cloud seeding Israel. Go on.

[Fahim Anwar]

So the hat blows up. The guy gets it, he puts it on. He catches up to you.

[Theo Von]

And it blew far.

[Fahim Anwar]

It blew far.

[Theo Von]

It blew probably.

[Fahim Anwar]

He was probably in zone two trying to catch it. Like, his heart. His heart rate was up.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, it blew. Yeah, it blew in probably 60ft, which is far on a windy day. And it kind of went around the edge of a truck. Like, it blew far.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

We're like, holy.

[Fahim Anwar]

He tracked it down Put it on, man. What are you doing here? I'm a huge blows again. He runs, he repeats. He goes. He gets it. We're still walking.

[Theo Von]

And my feelings are to get hurt a little bit at this point because it's like, dude, look, that hat's going to be here all the time.

[Fahim Anwar]

That's what we were thinking. Like, like, yo, how often are you in Clear Lake? This guy's going, he's a bigger fan of this hat.

[Theo Von]

That's what it was. Than he is of you. Right. And he kept kind of. He's like, just wait. Just wait. And we're kind of waiting, but getting hit by the wind. And like, okay, go the third.

[Fahim Anwar]

So it happens three times. He catches it finally catches up with us. But it was just so funny. Like, that whole day, we were just laughing about the wind blowing that guy's hat. And then, like, how absurd it was.

[Theo Von]

Like, one of those moments, you're like, this cannot be real. Right. Like, it was just. Hold on.

[Fahim Anwar]

You know, it was a cartoon.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Literally, like a Looney Tune.

[Theo Von]

And we'd have to sit there. One point, we sat on a bench for, like, a little bit and waiting for him to go get his hat again. We're like. Because the hat, like, he just. I don't know. I think he also wore the lightest hats. It's like, dude, it was like, paper

[Fahim Anwar]

mache is made out of Kleenex, and it would just blow off. It was made out of Kleenex, and he just Sharpied New York on it.

[Theo Von]

It's like a repurposed kite that Tom's has made. And now they're making hats, you know.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yes. Designed to blow off your head.

[Theo Von]

And then we walked over to the Surf Ballroom. Remember that?

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, yeah.

[Theo Von]

Where the Richie Valens, where Richie Valance and the Big Bopper, where they played their last show. Dude. Before that plane crash. And it was still as intact as ever. It was like going back in the past. They were so happy we were there. They, like, gave us a tour of everything.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

You got to see the phone where they called, like, where he called his mom, and he's like, don't worry, Mom. I'll be home.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. So much history there. And then we got shirts. We got matching shirts.

[Theo Von]

We did. I thank you for that.

[Fahim Anwar]

I've worn mine, too. It's a good shirt we should wear on the same show sometime.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

We've been there.

[Theo Von]

We'll go there. You know what we'll do, dude? We will go there, and we got to go there. And do some shows.

[Fahim Anwar]

It was like. It was so nice. I filed it away. I'm like, I should vacation here one time.

[Theo Von]

That's exactly what I thought to be

[Fahim Anwar]

a cool vacation spot.

[Theo Von]

And I wish we. Honestly kind of wish we weren't even talking about. Because I don't want other people to know how great it is. But every yard there, everything, it was just kind of perfect.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. Yeah. And then I forgot what city this was in. But after the shows, you do meet and greets sometimes. You know, you're really good about that. And so you're meeting your fans and then talking to them and all that. And then there's this. This girl in a wheelchair. Very sweet. You're talking to her. And then. And then you have this rapport with her. And then you're very. You go, you know, if you don't mind me asking, like, may I ask what happened? And then.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, how'd you get all wheeled out? That's my big question. Because we don't know.

[Fahim Anwar]

Right? We gotta know. And then she's like, oh, yeah, yeah. I. You know, I was in a car accident. My car spun around and I got flung out of the car. And then. And then you go, now, now, what kind of car was it? And I just like. Like no other person on earth would drill down on what type of car it was. And then she's like, oh, I think. I think it was like a Oldsmobile or something. And then you're like, now, is that a nice vehicle?

[Theo Von]

Did I really. Oh, I'd like to try to add context just so I know.

[Fahim Anwar]

I know it's like, so you.

[Theo Von]

Though my imagination work if I don't know. Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

You wanted to paint the story, you know.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. And different cars. I could see your body leaving out of it a different way. Like.

[Fahim Anwar]

That's a good point.

[Theo Von]

If it's like a heavy, older model car, you probably slip out the window, side window. It was one of these new cars, these little bouncing baby buggies or whatever. He'd fucking fly right out of the front of that bitch.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. Just on a left turn, even.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah. Just a windy day in Kazir Lake.

[Fahim Anwar]

Recall.

[Theo Von]

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[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. One thing I noticed, too, about touring with you, because, I mean, we've been friends and I see you at the clubs all the time, but then hanging out with you outside of the clubs is a different thing because everyone is kind of famous at the club because those are comedy nerds and everyone knows someone.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

But then you're, like, famous famous. And I just hadn't experienced that firsthand because I always see you at the store or I see at the improv, you know, so we were. It would happen everywhere, like that sandwich shop. And then I remember DQ especially. We're at the Dairy Queen place. I wanted to get, like, a blizzard.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

And then you're like, I'll come if we saw Mount Rushmore or whatever.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's tinier than you think it'd be.

[Theo Von]

We did. We did like, a whole family worth of vacationing in one week.

[Fahim Anwar]

We're basically in an rv. It's like we were doing a family vacation and happened to do these shows.

[Theo Von]

Dude, you guys went in a helicopter, Didn't.

[Fahim Anwar]

I didn't, because I'm afraid of that.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah, you didn't. I didn't because I. I didn't pay. I got a deal out of those people. So I was like, they're. They're definitely.

[Fahim Anwar]

But Bizzle went. Lee went. I'm trying to think who else?

[Theo Von]

Yeah, Lee Kimbrell and. Yeah, there we are. Dude.

[Fahim Anwar]

I always. I mean, it was cool. It was definitely cool and impressive, but I thought it would be bigger.

[Theo Von]

There's a lot of, like, kind of. There's like. You park, you walk up. They do a good job of making it so you can't see it till you get there.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, yeah.

[Theo Von]

There is kind of the big reveal. They have all the flags along the side of different countries, which I don't even know why they have that. And then the craziest part about Mount Rushmore is there's another side to it where they were. They're making the face of a Native American, right?

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, that's right.

[Theo Von]

I think originally it was public, and then it got kind of privatized and there was a man who was trying to do it with his sons, just

[Fahim Anwar]

with the hammer by himself and an

[Theo Von]

exacto knife and a sonic hair out there.

[Fahim Anwar]

A sonic. Do you think that's how they sold it to them? Like, all right, we're going to do the present, and then we'll get to the, like, Ah, we ran out of dynamite.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

They just bait and switched them.

[Theo Von]

You're like, you mean the stuff you. You used to blow up all of our villages and lives in history you didn't have Just a little left over.

[Fahim Anwar]

Blew it all ironically. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Dude, this is so great. Why? While they're. While they're checking it out. Thank you, guys for checking. It's fun to see this picture because I just. Sometimes that you just forget, like, I like. You just go through so many places sometimes, and it's almost like it bums you out in a way, because you. I think it bums anybody out. When you're traveling or anything you're doing. It's like you can only hold on to it so much. Right. And then life gets going and life's so busy now for everybody. The way we interact and the way there's like always entertainment, always something to keep us. Like there's always like a, a seal with a ball on its nose, hypothetically, you know, and it's. We forget sometimes just like the moments that we've had.

[Fahim Anwar]

I'm trying to be better about taking pictures. We have a phone in our pocket all times and I forget to, you know, I'll be at the store, there'll be some great moments or I'll be on tour with you and I got to capture these moments or you, you kind of forget about them. It's nice to go through your phone, go through your Instagram, be like, oh, that was a fun time.

[Theo Von]

Oh yeah. Going through is the best. Yeah, I think this is it, right? Yeah. The Crazy Horse Memorial is a mountain monument under construction on privately held land in the Black Hills in Custer County, South Dakota.

[Fahim Anwar]

So that's a different mountain or whatever, right?

[Theo Von]

It's not right there. Henry Standing Bear, a Lakota chief and well known statesman and elder in the Native American community, recruited and commissioned Polish American sculptor Corkzak Ziolkowski to build the Crazy horse Memorial in 1939. November 7, Henry Standing Bear wrote to the Polish American sculptor who worked on Mount Rushmore under Gutzon Borglum. He informed the sculptor, my fellow chiefs and I would like the white man to know that the red man has great heroes too. Wow. So that's putting like that tweet out there. That's like tweeting back then, sending a letter, just talking, just being the Draymond Green of like the Lakota Nation. In June 3, 1948, Zkowski detonated the first blast on the mountain and the memorial was dedicated to the Native American people. Work continues slowly over the next few decades since the Alkowski refused to accept government grants. Ah, so he probably didn't want to accept them, I'm assuming because it was like this is the government trying to put money into pay, like just to make it look a little bit better for what they did Instead, as he stated on a 1961 guest appearance on a TV show, to tell the truth, he raised money for the project by charging $0.75 admission to the monument work area H The memorial celebrated 75th anniversary in 2023. Crazy Horse's left hand was finished by 2024.

[Fahim Anwar]

I wonder when it'll be done.

[Theo Von]

I don't know. Well, note here that the land is run by the U.S. forest Service and they were just defunded. So it's probably going to, I think

[Fahim Anwar]

that affects how long it takes. Well, we got the hand, though. It's kind of nice.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. I mean, it's like at this point, I would pivot. Yeah. To what? And I hate to say that, but you have the hand.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, right.

[Theo Von]

Do they have an updated what it looks like. Here we go. It looks like Bill Maher a little.

[Fahim Anwar]

Maybe that's the pivot.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, that's it. Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Just real time shoots there. Okay.

[Theo Von]

Oh, that's wild, dude.

[Fahim Anwar]

What if there's a huge mistake? They go, oh, we thought you wanted Bill Maher. Yeah. They go, no, it was this Native American. Oh, well, I opened up this attachment. It was. I thought it was Bill Maher. I must have had my tabs messed up.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, I must. Oh, I must had a different window open on my browser.

[Fahim Anwar]

Well, what do we do now? Well, I mean, we've blasted a lot of the mountain. Whose hand is it? I think. I think it's Bill Maher's. It might be the other. I don't know.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah. Maybe you go like Bill Maher with a Native American hand.

[Fahim Anwar]

That's a gomp. That's a good compromise because you got to do something.

[Theo Von]

Or you just open up a ring shop and chisel out the inside of the hand. I don't know what you do.

[Fahim Anwar]

That'd be kind of cool. Like, all they do is rings. Yeah. And it's inside of a hand.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, I've thought about that before, dude. Somebody had a great name for a ring shop. Dude. And every day I think about what it was, and I can't remember what it was was.

[Fahim Anwar]

But they'll come back to you. Yeah, yeah.

[Theo Von]

Thank you, dude.

[Fahim Anwar]

Of course.

[Theo Von]

But yeah, the Crazy Horse memorial started in 1948. Still not finished. Oh, there's a good video about it right there. Huh?

[Fahim Anwar]

He's ripped. Look at that. The horse and him are ripped.

[Theo Von]

That's pretty wild.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's kind of Centaur is a little though, the art.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Dude. Sometimes when you look at stuff that's, like, going on in the world today, like, it's kind of crazy. Like, you kind of look at things like you're like, oh, where there's like, people being abused, taken advantage of here, right. Like, there's a genocide here. There's this, this like senseless, like, propaganda ridden, bombing and attacking over here. Right. But then you look at also like that people like that, that. That that happened in Native Americans too. It's just like. It's kind of like a tale as

[Fahim Anwar]

old as time, which is so sad.

[Theo Von]

I know you Think like, yeah. Who opens for Spade right now?

[Fahim Anwar]

Matt. Matt Kershawn.

[Theo Von]

No, I love that guy, though. Oh, Patrick Keane. And he has this joke. It's like he goes, well, at one time there was like, Joseph, Mary, Cain and Abel, you know, and then Cain killed Abel. The cane.

[Fahim Anwar]

Kill Abel. Perplexity, load up. Perplexity. Who killed.

[Theo Von]

It's like a. It's like the religious clue, the board game. That one always has it. But he goes, at one point in history, 25 of the population were murderers, which is just. It's. For me, that was always like, one of the best jokes, dude. He's like, there were four people and they couldn't figure it out. And one of them killed one of the other ones.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's a hyper sa.

[Theo Von]

Just heartbreaking. Yeah, but it's just crazy. It's like sometimes you want to get at, like, that's one part where I, like, I'll get agitated about things, but then I'm like, but, you know, I don't know. Life, a lot of life is suffering. Do you think that's true?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. Yeah. And trying to make the best of what's in front of you and do what you can do and. But it's almost. I mean, I realized this later in life that a lot of life is like Sim City. It'll never be perfect, but you can get it as close to optimal as you can. Yeah, but nothing will be perfect. You do something, then drug abuse goes up, you know, then you do this other thing, then the wait for the bathroom and the roller coaster line goes up. You know, just. Life is SimCity and there's not a perfect system, but, like, we're all striving to get there, and that's kind of hard to come to terms with when you're young. You just think everything should be candy pop or, you know, you know, gumdrops and lollipops. But it's so hard to maximize utility for everyone because some. Something's got to give eventually. But we could do our best, you know, and it's nice that we have that drive to do so as humans. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Maybe we'll enter a new phase too, where we realize, like, oh, all this capitalism, all that bull, it's like, it's not. Nobody's winning with it, you know, all this, like, conquering. You would think that, like, I kind of thought we were over, like, some of the colonialism shit.

[Fahim Anwar]

Well, even just, like, untethered capitalism, we're seeing the cracks in it right now. We're like late stage capitalism right now, which is interesting. Like, it's just kind of funny. Like, oh, Mr. Beast has a chocolate. The Rock has a tequila. You know, Beyonce has a toothpaste. You have to be. Now, all our products are just faces. It's interesting.

[Theo Von]

Cavities. Yeah. Like, somebody the other day offered to come was, like, going door to door, like, we'll come and spray your bugs, you know? You have any bug, you're like, I don't know. You're like, oh, bugs always attack people who don't know if they have them. And I'm like, they're just using, like. They use, like, reverse psychology and stuff. And they're like, oh, be quiet. Be quiet. And they're like, oh, do you hear that? That's. And they'll make up, like, a bug or something, you know?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Like, that's like a wasp or whatever, you know? Or some bug. It's like. And I'll bleep that out. Sorry. But, yeah, you're like, that's like a. You know, they make something up. Like, oh, that's a wasp from Tijuana or something, you know?

[Fahim Anwar]

Are those worse than regular wasps? Yes.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, they are.

[Fahim Anwar]

They're south of the border. They.

[Theo Von]

They.

[Fahim Anwar]

They're smarter.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They're lost from home. They're angry. Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

You're like, if they made it all the way up here, they're angry.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

They want to go. They're lost.

[Theo Von]

And the guy's like, we have to come and just spray tequila in your yard. And you're like, what?

[Fahim Anwar]

It's got to be top shelf. They know.

[Theo Von]

They know the difference. Yeah. Oh, they know if they're getting the bunk. But, yeah, they're just like. Anyway, so that. And then that dude had merch. He's like, you want to get some of my merch?

[Fahim Anwar]

The exterminator had merch.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Like. And that's when I was like, oh, my God. We've hit this crazy place where it's like, you know, you could have, like, an. Like, somebody's bleeding to death, an EMT shows up, and neither one of them will help. Like. Like, an EMT won't help until you buy as much. Like. Or as he's setting up, doing cpr, he sets up a little merch thing by it.

[Fahim Anwar]

Right. Or like a wristband, like Coachella. Like, what tier coverage do you want?

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

All right, then the paddles are in this tent.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Like, how do you want to. Yeah, yeah. Do you want the full paddles? You just want to breathe in here and you just want the hand. You want the hopeful hand, right?

[Fahim Anwar]

Breathe this extra. Yeah, we don't. We don't. You know. Do you want one paddle or two? We give you, like, half a zap.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

But if you want the full zap, it'll cost you. And what's the voltage? It's a tiered program.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, this is tiered, man. We'll give you a trial zap.

[Fahim Anwar]

That's just a taste.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, just.

[Fahim Anwar]

Just give your heart a taste. Yeah, like, ooh, it like that. I would upgrade. Seems like your heart wants that.

[Theo Von]

Hey, the heart wants what the heart wants, you know? And that's what his Merce said on it. I'm like, that's cr. It's just like, man, it's just gotten to be a crazy world, dude. Dude, you're so funny, man. You're one of the funniest guys. Well, the fact ever existed, dude.

[Fahim Anwar]

I mean, I don't know about that, but you are.

[Theo Von]

You're the guy that everybody goes to see. That's kind of weird. I wonder if that feels. Does that feel like pressure? Because that's a real thing. People will be like, maybe at the

[Fahim Anwar]

Comedy Store or whatever. I'm kind of like, he's on.

[Theo Von]

Right? And you'll go watch. Because the rest of us are kind of like, slithering, hopeful, fucking, like, humor grifters, I think. No, but you're like. You always bring something new to the table every time.

[Fahim Anwar]

I guess I just. I like new bits. Maybe that's a detriment. I remember when I was a young comic, I just. I loved new material more than crushing. So there were certain shows where maybe I should have been trying to impress agents or managers or execs, but I had a new joke that I won. I was. I'm always itching to, like, throw out a new idea, and when you're young, you don't really know how to navigate that as well, so. But I've just always been wired that way. I just love new material. So it's kind of nice that now it's caught up with me and it's. It's an asset now where I know how to write a little faster. But, yeah, I've just always been that way. I just like new ideas.

[Theo Von]

Do you think, like, a lot of your ideas? Because you all, like, I'll say something to you like, man, I'm not feeling well. And you're like.

[Fahim Anwar]

You make it sound like, what if you work like, I have some superpower, Like, I go into some fugue state. When you mention something and I go and the papers start turning, what if I'm perplexity? I should mention the guys. I've been perplexity the whole time.

[Theo Von]

Dude, you're like, yeah, I'm not feeling well. Like, dude, what if you weren't feeling well but like there was like a bunch of bad guys chasing you, but you have to not feel well and still get away from them? You know, I. That's kind of a horrible example.

[Fahim Anwar]

I know, but you capture the energy and I guess I'm kind of reserved generally if I don't know you. But like when something tickles me or I feel like I have a good idea, or like we have a rapport. I've known you forever and we're just having fun and there's. I just love a good idea. So I get excited and then I'm like doing it and I don't even know that I'm doing it. You know what I mean?

[Theo Von]

Like, yeah, that's what it seems like. It seems like this thing. It's almost when you pour a beer and it's somebody like pours it too fast and it's just going to come out of the glass no matter what, right? That's how it seems like with you. Whenever. That's like some like, it's like, it's almost like watching like an animal get excited kind of. It's like this. What about. What about this? And then it's like you try to slot it in and you always slot it in like the best places. And then you're. And you're not afraid to do act outs on stage either. Like, you are not like, I mean, I know for a while you were doing Lance can't stop.

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh yeah, can't stop the dance.

[Theo Von]

Like, the dancing was, was crazy, bro. The, the, the, the rat tail, all

[Fahim Anwar]

that was great, dude. I had this weave. I did the Mothership maybe like two years ago, but I don't do it as much anymore. What's funny is I booked this. I did a video game.

[Theo Von]

Adam Ray's doing it now though.

[Fahim Anwar]

Not, not Lance. He's doing a different thing.

[Theo Von]

Oh, I'm joking. I thought, would it be great if now he's doing Lance can't stop listening.

[Fahim Anwar]

You're doing Dr. Phil as Lance. Like, hey, what's your name? Are you, Are you two dating? Check out these dance moves.

[Theo Von]

Dude, that's so great. But yeah, bro, just your, your ability to like, not be like phys. I've always been physically fearful, right?

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, really?

[Theo Von]

Yeah, like, I don't mind, like, kind of like you move. You move around, you know, like, taking, like, ownership of the space, but to act out, like, something physically that, like, scares me, bro.

[Fahim Anwar]

I guess when I was a kid, I, like, dancing was my first thing. So when I would do talent shows and.

[Theo Von]

What do you mean, dancing? Like, who was.

[Fahim Anwar]

I just love dance.

[Theo Von]

Who was funding it? You mean Hezbollah or whatever?

[Fahim Anwar]

Like, what, even their dance? No, it was just. I mean, I grew up with Michael Jackson. I'm the generation that just, like, he was king and he was at his peak, like, the dancing and the singing and all the music videos. So I would try to mimic it. And that was my first kind of, like, entry into. This is so old.

[Theo Von]

It is.

[Fahim Anwar]

This is when I was working at Boeing at Long Beach. Look at those pants. It's so old. Those are in again.

[Theo Von]

You look a little like Ari Menace, bro. You fucking vibrate up on me.

[Fahim Anwar]

I mean, this dancing is not that great. I wouldn't. I wouldn't have this.

[Theo Von]

As we're keeping the wasps, they want to stay in the party. Homie, your shit is popping.

[Fahim Anwar]

I downloaded Sony Vegas, and I'm just, like, putting all these filters on it because it's free. I think it's like industrial light and magic. Like, check this out. George Lucas.

[Theo Von]

When was this? All the filters? Just like some hunter, like, looking through a scope.

[Fahim Anwar]

Really?

[Theo Von]

Yeah. That's the crazy part.

[Fahim Anwar]

Now he has glaucoma. The hunter.

[Theo Von]

Now he's envious.

[Fahim Anwar]

This song is a bop, though. If you watch it on real YouTube, that song's a bop.

[Theo Von]

When was that? How many years ago?

[Fahim Anwar]

I don't know. So many years ago.

[Theo Von]

18, bro. That's crazy, dude. That's wild.

[Fahim Anwar]

And then I would go to a cubicle and do engineering. Thank God they didn't see my YouTube channel. How embarrassing would that be?

[Theo Von]

So you were actually in organized dance?

[Fahim Anwar]

Not.

[Theo Von]

No.

[Fahim Anwar]

Or was it funny? I would just do it by myself. I'd be outgoon. I would dance. Goon.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

I would do it alone. I would just, like, close the door, turn on Michael Jackson or any dance music, and I would just dance in my room. I would dance in front of a mirror. And there was a currency to that when I was a kid, like, to be the best dancer at school. You'd have school dances, and then everyone knew who the good dances were, and then you'd kind of, like, battle. And there was social currency to dancing. I'm sure there still is.

[Theo Von]

That's a good point. But there was a lot of clout. To that. It was like, oh, that guy's the dancer.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's like being the fastest kid at school. Remember how that was such a thing? Like the hottest girl would be with the fastest kid in school.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah. But like, oh, shit. Damien fast, right?

[Fahim Anwar]

And then he loses one race and she's like, yeah, it's not working out.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Or Damien gets diabetes or whatever and he can't run as much.

[Fahim Anwar]

That's gonna affect his. His 50 time. Right.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. The sugar got him coming up short.

[Fahim Anwar]

So I was just into dance, so I guess that's my foundation. So I'm comfortable moving my body.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

And then when I got into stand up when I was like 18, and when I'm on stage, like, if I have the idea, I just, I just do it. I don't even think about it. I don't have a fear of moving.

[Theo Von]

That's crazy.

[Fahim Anwar]

And also it's an extension of the idea. If I have a bit and I'm in it, I don't even know that I'm doing it, honestly.

[Theo Von]

Right.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's second nature, dude.

[Theo Von]

That's pretty great because it kind of gives you two instruments. It gives you the verbal instrument and then it gives you this whole other instrument. I do notice if I do yoga a good bit, and the more that I do it, the more my body shows up in certain bits. And it's like sometimes your brain will be like, oh, you can do this because you've been flexible, you've been keeping active. Like your shit's like, you're keeping your, like your blood up, your vibes up. Do this, you know what I'm saying? And you're like, oh, that fits. And it, like, it is interesting when you can, your ideas can use your whole instrument for sure.

[Fahim Anwar]

And then you realize how much of comedy is non verbal even. It's really cool to have a great joke and people are laughing and then you can get another laugh on a movement. You haven't even opened your mouth. It's just a look or a walk and that's kind of exciting. Then it feels like, oh, I have new colors to. To paint with. With comedy, you know?

[Theo Von]

Yeah, dude, that's. I mean, that's. I don't know it as well. I know what you're talking about. And there's moments like, there's some moments in my comedy world that I feel that way.

[Fahim Anwar]

I've seen it. I'm trying to think. This older bit used to do the meeting Brad Pitt. Oh, you would do it with that. I mean, you still do you still do it?

[Theo Von]

There are bits act out the thing, but I'll be a fan. Like, I don't get into, like. I don't know. You get into this space where it's like. Yeah, you're just this kind of thing that's kind of happening.

[Fahim Anwar]

I would love that as an intro. Like, this next guy is. He's a. He's kind of a thing that's happening. Not, like in the trades or, like right now, energetically. Ladies and gentlemen, he manor. Yeah, I just come out.

[Theo Von]

Oh, it definitely. Dude. For one of your specials, you have to do. Somebody comes out, rubs a lamp three

[Fahim Anwar]

times, and then I come out. It's called my. The special is called Career Suicide.

[Theo Von]

Or you're just like the janitor that comes at night and cleans up around the lamp. But then you start to create this energy in this dream that. That would be more like you, bro.

[Fahim Anwar]

We have two movie ideas. This pod. We got the Goonies idea, and then we got this.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, dude, There it is. Gooners. Dude, that's so great. That's awesome. Yeah, dude. Yeah, man. Do you feel like. Because you've had. I mean, like. Yeah, I think if people picked out, like, some of their favorite comedians, especially at the Comedy Store, because that's really kind of your home base, would you say?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, because I'm an LA comic and that's sort of like the place to be. There's three showrooms. I like working out there, too.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Oh, it really is. There's no better if you can go to one spot in a night.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And especially once you're allowed to park in the back.

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, it's the best.

[Theo Von]

Oh, that changes every parking.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's like, I got in the stand up just for the parking on Sunset Strip.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Yeah. How you always hear, like, people say comedy in L. A has changed. L A is like, the scene is dead. The scene is different. Right. Maybe not dead. I think you just hear different. Yeah. How have you seen it change? Like, probably since COVID into now. And, like, what do you think of, like, just where things are.

[Fahim Anwar]

I mean, we were in the heyday of the Comedy Store. We didn't even know it before COVID happened, you know, like, Rogan was there.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

It was just juggernaut after Juggernaut. These lineups were insane.

[Theo Von]

Tom Segura.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Cummings, Eliza Schlesinger. I mean, and that was it. That was just like, kind of people that were just there, you. And then you'd have.

[Fahim Anwar]

But I was.

[Theo Von]

I was Smith.

[Fahim Anwar]

I was like, middle of the pack. Like, these guys are like. Like titans. I was just kind of. It was kind of cool just to share that space. I'm still an unknown, but comedically and artistically, it's cool to be in the mix. Like Louie drops in or Burr and then I go up after him. That's the thrill of the store that, like, at the end of the day, it still is. It's like being good at something, like a really good saxophone player. It's like jazz. You'll see somebody who's just like, huge, and then you get to take the stage and you're there for a reason, and you have to, like, survive. You have to learn how to survive when you're younger, but then you get to hold your own. And that's cool because, like, audience members get to be hip to you. They're like, I came for Burr. But then I discovered these other comments. And that happens now at the store, too. There's, like, young guys who are super funny.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

And then they come because, like, they come to see you, and then they get to see everybody else on the lineup. So we were in the heyday back then. Covet happened. People go to Austin, some people go to New York, some people just go to Vegas or Nashville even, you know, so it's not as big as it used to be. It's pared down a bit, but it's still an amazing club and the shows are still really good. It's just. That was insanity. And we didn't even know it at the time.

[Theo Von]

Right. We didn't know it. Do you think. What things do you feel like? Because you always hear, like, people denouncing it, kind of. Not denouncing. It's not a term. But you hear, like.

[Fahim Anwar]

Like, it's over. LA's over.

[Theo Von]

Right. Do you. Is that okay to say that? We hear that.

[Fahim Anwar]

We do hear it.

[Theo Von]

But what do you. But it's also. Every time something's over, whatever that is, there's always something new that's starting to. So, like, what do you see that's like, kind of the new things. Because I'm sure for, like, a lot of guys that couldn't get stage time.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Like, it was probably a hectic time for them. Guys and girls that couldn't get stage time. Like, you know, it's like, yeah, you have. All these guys were able to sell tickets and they get all the. All the, like, the top eight spots or whatever. And. And it's. I'm sure there was kind of like a clog in the system.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

I don't know if that's.

[Fahim Anwar]

But I think there's a life cycle for everything. It's. It's nature. What. I mean, these guys, I even saw it with you and some of them, like my other peers, like, we're kind of middling comics or whatever. And then you see everybody get really big and then they're on the road, and that's awesome because they're. They're getting popular, they're making money on the road, they're becoming more famous. And then that just naturally clears up stage time for this top tier at the Comedy Store, because, like, you're on the road, so, like, so and so's on the road, like, cigar or whatever. So now. Now these guys get to get those reps in and then they get really good and then they blast off. So there's this natural order of things. So when everybody went to, like, Austin and all that, it just kind of cleared space for the next tier. And now they're getting really good and stuff, and then hopefully they will flourish.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah. It's just like. Yeah, I think there's always something new that's starting. So I guess that's what I was kind of wondering since I. Because I moved away, I was wondering, like. Yeah, what kind of, like, do you feel like there's, like, a new thing that's happened there over the past few years?

[Fahim Anwar]

Just new shots for, like, younger guys? And also, LA will always be la. New York will always be New York. It'll ebb and flow from, like, how popping it is. But, like, you know, Dua Lipa's in the crowd.

[Theo Von]

Right.

[Fahim Anwar]

Or Sabrina Carpenter's in the. You know, like, these things happen. It's still la.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Same thing with New York. So you, like, can't take that away from it. And yeah, it's. Everything's cyclical. But then I also. The recent development, I think, is just as cool as that is. Digital is the most important place to be. Before, you had to be in New York and la. Now you just gotta be on phones. So it's kind of cool how it's open. It's democratized comedy. Now you can be a funny kid in Clear Lake, Iowa, or anywhere and just talk into camera and you have just as much of a shot as, like, me at the Comedy Store or some other person at the mothership. So it's really. Even the playing field, which is kind of cool. The most important place is digital. But if you're talking about just stand up the craft, I think LA New York Austin are still great.

[Theo Von]

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[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

I saw Tarantino night you were there. Remember? You got to talk to him, didn't you?

[Fahim Anwar]

He's. He's in. I shot that special hat trick at the Comedy Store, and then the person who was shooting me had the cameras rolling, so I have it on film, me and Tarantino talking. And then I was gonna clear it with him, but I go, I don't want him to say no, so I'll just put it out there. What if he was saying bad stuff? Like, you know, I'm eating babies, right? I'm eating them. I'm getting their life force. And I'm like, this is great. Keep rolling. No, just super nice. Super complimentary. It might have been the night you were there, too.

[Theo Von]

I think I was there. I tried to go up, and I kept getting pushed to a different room.

[Fahim Anwar]

So I think you brought me up in the or, and I had a good set, and it was just so surreal. Tarantino comes out and he's like, I want to talk to the cool guy. And he points to me.

[Theo Von]

What?

[Fahim Anwar]

And then we're just talking. Then all these other comedians come, and he's holding court. He's talking about Pam Greer and Jackie Brown. Because he's just a fan. He's a fan of comedy. He's a fan of cinema. He just has this childlike exuberance to him.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

So we're just talking, and he's in the thing. And we ended up keeping it in, but it was so surreal. That was probably one of the bigger ones. Tarantino. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

I just remember even the wake of that night, he's here. Oh, when Jim Carrey was there. That was a crazy night.

[Fahim Anwar]

Was that when they were trying to cast for I'm Dying Up Here? And. And that's how Santino got cast. And Eric Griffin, he saw. He saw them that day. Yep.

[Theo Von]

It's kind of crazy. Somebody could just see you, and then something like that happens, and they end up. Yeah, There you go, dude. Yeah, those were great. If I ever. If Chris Rock has ever come in. I remember when Louie came in years ago, and he was, like, in the hallway, and he was wearing. It was like, after, like, the m. The Academy Awards or whatever, and he had on a suit, and I was

[Fahim Anwar]

like, dang, Louie, that's so crazy. And it was like, I saw Travolta one time in the parking lot.

[Theo Von]

Really, dude.

[Fahim Anwar]

Just hanging with Tommy Lee. You know Tommy Lee. I. I've seen him a few times, you know, so it's cool. But I've been accustomed to it, so I'm jaded with Tommy Lee. But every now and then, Tommy Lee will, like, a reel of mine, and it's just so surreal.

[Theo Von]

Like, whoa, that's dope.

[Fahim Anwar]

What world is this?

[Theo Von]

He and I were just texting the other day. He's doing real well, and it's like. So we were talking about our recovery programs. He's. What a life. Some people are. What a just interesting existence. But the highs and lows of it all, too.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

You know Dre.

[Fahim Anwar]

I saw Dre one time in the parking lot. You saw Dr. Dre?

[Theo Von]

Who's the biggest you saw or you saw? Andre Iguodala.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, that. That's what I tell people. I go, I saw Dre to go, holy Iguodala. I'm the only person who calls him Dread other than his mom. Maybe I call him Dr. Dre just because I think he's a doctor of basketball.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Who's the biggest person you saw at the store?

[Theo Von]

I mean, John Mayer. When I would see him somewhere, that was always interesting because I've always, like, had such an esteem for his, like, word. Like, the way he does words, like,

[Fahim Anwar]

you know, I saw him walking down one time because he would go to Roast Battle a lot.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. And he'd be like, him and Jeff Ross are close and stuff. And so I know I'd see him over there.

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, I ate in front of John Stamos one time.

[Theo Von]

That would hurt.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. It was late at night. This is when I first got past. So I'm Getting super late spots at the Comedy Store. Probably going up at 1:30am I think Jeff Ross is hanging. So he comes with Jeff Ross sometimes. Jeff Ross and then Stamos. And maybe they tied one on. I think they had been like, maybe they came home. Yeah, yeah. So he's eating chicken fingers and it's his back. So I'm not even. I'm not even getting full Stamos. I'm getting. I'm getting back Stamos. Oh. And then I would get this every now and then. And then back to the finger. I'm like, hey, guys. Oh. You ever noticed.

[Theo Von]

Notice this,

[Fahim Anwar]

Bro?

[Theo Von]

That's crazy. Damn. At least he checked back in.

[Fahim Anwar]

That is nice.

[Theo Von]

Sometimes they'll sit a blind. Gotta say money, they'll sit a blind guy by the side of the stage, just facing away from the stage. And like, sometimes they do that.

[Fahim Anwar]

Point him towards you. Let. Let me believe. Yeah, dude, let me believe. He's checking me out.

[Theo Von]

He's just sitting over here like a broken compass over here, dude. I'm trying to think of who else that I saw there. Oh, dude, I remember they said the guy. Remember that show Family Matters?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Remember the cop?

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, Winslow.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Carl Winslow.

[Theo Von]

Carl Winslow.

[Fahim Anwar]

That's not his real name, right? That's his character name.

[Theo Von]

Carl Winslow. They said that his grandson, like, his. Reginald Vale Johnson, they said his grandson was in the audience one time, and people were, like, losing their shit. Like. And I was so nervous. I hadn't. I had like, that's so funny, bro.

[Fahim Anwar]

I had not nervous over the Family Matters cop being in the crowd.

[Theo Von]

His grandson.

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, his grandson.

[Theo Von]

And so. But it was like the first time I was in LA, dude, fucking RVJ's grandson is in the crowd. At first I was like, who the. Yeah, I couldn't figure out rvj, you know, I thought it was just somebody who's dumb, who was, like, trying to talk about a politician or whatever. And then they're like, no, Reginald Johnson, dude, the cop from Family Matters. His grandson is here. And I was like, f. I'm in a fucking. And I remember pacing backstage being so Just like. I just couldn't handle that there was, like, somebody who, like, knew somebody from TV that was in the fucking crowd, and I fucking blew it.

[Fahim Anwar]

You go, no.

[Theo Von]

Oh, I bombed it. My favorite moment that ever happened. One of. Anyway, Spade telling me that he thought something was really funny. One time was awesome. But one time, Damon Wayans was there.

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, wow.

[Theo Von]

And Senior.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

From In Living Color. And I grew up.

[Fahim Anwar]

Same here, man.

[Theo Von]

Just like, he has this one. Like it's a laugh sound that he makes. It's like only he makes it. And it's not even a laugh. It's just like a. Oh, something like that. Dude, it sounds like a. A bird that's like semi interested, right? Like a beautiful bird that's semi interested. But during my set, I heard him make that laugh that I had. I'd heard him use as a character from when I was a kid. And, bro, it was just so. It was crazy to me. Like, at one thing I said, yeah, he laughed at. Or he made that sound at it and that was enough.

[Fahim Anwar]

I was like, it's such validation.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Because we grew up with these guys and they were everything to us. Even just being on a show with Spade or just talking to Spade. That was my era of snl. Spade, Sandler, Farley. That's why I got into stand up comedy. For real. I love that show so much. Snl, everyone could make it on social media now. Everything's fractured so much. But back in the day, if you wanted to do anything in comedy, you had to touch snl.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

So that was everything. That was TikTok, that was Instagram. Anything comedy was snl, that was Mount Rushmore. And I go, I want to do this. I want to work in the space. How do you get on snl? I fired up my modem.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

And I unspooled it like fucking dynamite to plug into the wall. Yeah. It was a controlled demolition to get on the Internet.

[Theo Von]

And you applied to Boeing.

[Fahim Anwar]

Right.

[Theo Von]

You're like, I'll show them.

[Fahim Anwar]

Well, pretty much, though, because I researched. I go, how do people get on snl? And I saw that they came from one of two camps. They came from improv comedy. So Second City, ucb, Groundlings, you know. Yes. And in creating these scenes, or they were stand up comedians like Kevin Nealon, Sandler, Schneider, Spade, Eddie Murphy. They were all standups. So then I researched all the improv schools, like UCB and Second City. I'm some kid in Seattle. I'm like, what are these schools? Okay. They're all in la, New York, Chicago. I'm not there. I can't do that. You have to pay money to do it. My parents already don't want me to be doing comedy. It's like clown college. They're already against it. I can't say I'm going to pay money to go to clown college. And then stand up. I go, oh, I'll do that. Because I just got to show up and I get as much as I get out of it, or I get as much as I put into it and I can count on me. I don't need improv partners. I can just. Yeah, yeah, you. You get everything as a standup. Whatever you put in, you get out if you have the aptitude for it. So that's why I got into stand up, because I wanted to get on snl. So it's so crazy to be at the store and then just talking to Spade.

[Theo Von]

I know.

[Fahim Anwar]

I remember being a little kid sitting cross legged, watching the TV and thinking, spade lived in a box. Spade lived in a magic box.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

And now he's writing down notes before going on stage and then bringing me up in the or. And it's not lost on me. It's. It's, it's crazy, this timeline that we're on.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, I know it's hard to cons, it's hard to like. It's such a. Just a good reminder to think about. Yeah. Like, just also that all the humor that's come before you, all the or whatever line of work are you in, all the things that have come before you. Like, like whether you're a mechanic, you're using like a new type of like, wrench or some sort of new piece of equipment or something. Like people were mechanics for years doing that and got to that place. Or like some machine that makes your job easier or some new way of doing it or like, I don't know. Yeah, just you forget that, like all these people have gone up over time on stage to try and say something or whatever, to try and get somebody to feel something or you or them to feel something or you to feel something.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

I don't know if any of that

[Fahim Anwar]

makes sense now that you're all part of this timeline, you're all part of this and they happen to be a generation or so above. And then you don't know at the time when you're a kid, but then you do the same thing for long enough and then you become a part of that fabric. And they were just people like you were at the beginning, but at a different phase of their becoming a butterfly or whatever it is. And what's mind blowing too, is these guys that I just thought were titans of comedy and could do no wrong and were blowing my mind to learn as you get older that they were afraid of being fired week to week on snl to hear Spade talk about that or Norm would talk about, oh, yeah, we thought we're gonna get. Or even Sandler. They thought about firing Sandler. You go, what

[Theo Von]

you heard Chris Farley mean? Yeah, yeah. Just that any of them sat in

[Fahim Anwar]

that place like that they were having self doubt like that during what I thought was just the pinnacle and peak of comedy. I thought they were crushing it so hard and, and they were worried. That's mind blowing. And then almost validating for the feelings you have because I have that sometimes. And I go, oh, that's just a human experience. Sometimes you think that they're celebrities and everything's gravy because that's the packaging, that's what you portray that gets jobs. But then everyone is having a human experience inside of it and it makes you feel less alone. Like, okay, even Spade and Sandler felt what I'm feeling right now, right?

[Theo Von]

Even they were taking a breath like, what do I do next? Or what's going to happen now?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. You know, am I going to get fired? Was that good? I hope people will like it. Oh yeah.

[Theo Von]

Same exact three things. It's like, yeah, those are questions I've asked myself since I really joined the workforce at 14.

[Fahim Anwar]

Really? What was your first job?

[Theo Von]

My first job, I saw hamsters. My. But my adult first job was working in, in Italian pizza.

[Fahim Anwar]

Ah, worked at pizza.

[Theo Von]

Worked in pizza for a while was

[Fahim Anwar]

the name of it, huh?

[Theo Von]

You know Jays BJ's. Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Wait, the chain?

[Theo Von]

No, this is different.

[Fahim Anwar]

BJ.

[Theo Von]

That's the crazy part. We were like an outlier. BJ's and it's supposed to, is supposed to serve for blackjacks, but people would get drunk in there and just start yelling blowjobs at us kids who are working the counter, right? And we'd make up fake orders for pizza deliveries like Danny Glover wants a pizza. Because our guy who delivered was a born again Christian. He didn't watch television or any movies, so he didn't know any celebrities at all. So we'd make up like Danny Glover wants a pizza out an old military road. So he'd go deliver that while he was gone. Just try. There's no way for him to connect to this while he's gone. So for 30 minutes he's gone. We'd be deep frying beer, dude. We would pour beer, deep fry it, eat it. We'd get hammered, dude. And he'd come back and be like, couldn't find the address, you know, oh well.

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh well.

[Theo Von]

But anyway, we're rambling. Here's an old lineup from the Comedy Store. Oh yeah, here's just a great lineup right here. Thank you. There's Fang Chow, Adam Ray, Argus, Hamilton, Owen Smith, Jeff Ross, who is.

[Fahim Anwar]

Should we be given. Maybe we should black that out because she. It's a super famous person who doesn't use their real name. So let's maybe black that out when we. Yeah. Air it.

[Theo Von]

And if you black it out and if you, if you, if you do black it out and want to put a name over it, you could put Ali Wong. Who else we got? Rick Ingram, Andrew Santino, you and me right there. Dude, is there anything like kind of scary or funny or like just all of it. Whenever, like you get to bring you like, like when you're set over, it's kind of like a relief moment and then you get to bring somebody else up. It's like, it's like getting out of the pool and drying off and knowing

[Fahim Anwar]

you peed in it. Uh huh.

[Theo Von]

You know.

[Fahim Anwar]

Well, that's a skill you have to learn because not a lot of places do tag team like this. So when you first, when you get past there, you have to get used to it because most shows have an MC and you do your time and the MC comes up and then brings up the next person. This is all you go up, bring somebody else up, they bring the next person up. So you have to get in that mode of like, my set's over now. I've got to turn into host mode. It's like Agent Smith. Like, all right, this next guy, you know, you do, you do your last joke and you go, how's everybody doing? Fantastic. The show keeps getting better. And you don't know how to do that when you're young. Yeah, but then you've been there so long. Now you finish upset, you're like, all right, this next guy is hilarious. You're going to love him for he man war. And then it's just very cool to go up after each other.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah, dude, it is magic. And just to get to be in a place where you see other people and stuff like that, you know, where you see a lot of people and see what's going on. Yeah, it was like a place to be too. At night. It was like, it was like, okay, I don't need to be at a nightclub. I never knew any of the nightclubs that were popping or any of that stuff.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Because I just didn't know. It was like, now that that's where I'll be, you know?

[Fahim Anwar]

It's so weird. I know, like the nightclub scene, I never went. And it's weird because I dance. So people think like, you must go to nightclubs all the time. Like, I Don't. It's so weird being good at dancing and then hating going to a nightclub. I have a private relationship with dance. I want to. I want to dance in my room. I don't want to go to some, like, laser place.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

And, like, dance. That's not fun for me. Yeah. I like dancing by myself.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. While some trans mailman's over there trying to fucking drop something in your drink. You know, he's like, oh, I got an overnight for you. Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. I mean, that looks like fun, but I don't. I don't want to do that. Yeah, good for Jon Hamm. But that's not really my speed, dude,

[Theo Von]

so I don't forget. How much. How great was it, though? Michael Jackson, bro. Growing up during the Michael Jackson area.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. It took me a while to realize what song you were singing. I'm like, this is a Theo remix.

[Theo Von]

Me too, because I don't remember. I remember, like, a little bit of all of them, though. It's like.

[Fahim Anwar]

Black or White, bro?

[Theo Von]

When Black or white came, that was

[Fahim Anwar]

like, early AI with the black is why.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, bro. That was so good, dude.

[Fahim Anwar]

Remember those videos coming out, too? It would be like a movie coming out. The world premiere of Black or White sitting down from the tv. Was it Macaulay Culkin? He, like, got it going like.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah, bro. Black or White? When did it premiere? Let's look at it. Michael Jackson biopic Michael first reactions. That's. Oh, that's coming out on April 22nd.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, that just came out.

[Theo Von]

Oh, it just came out. Did we do better than it at the movie theater this week?

[Fahim Anwar]

It wasn't for this week. It says Bus Boys crushes memorized, though.

[Theo Von]

Respect. We did best for, like.

[Fahim Anwar]

Dude, I saw. Congrats, man. I saw the. The week.

[Theo Von]

Put that out there to people. Or is it kind of like put out like, this is how much we did for the week or whatever?

[Fahim Anwar]

I think just showing what it is and being, like, blessed, like, I mean, it is really cool that the fans showed up like that.

[Theo Von]

Never make our money back.

[Fahim Anwar]

No, I think you will on streaming and stuff because that's pretty good. I read it was pretty good for an independent, like, per screen.

[Theo Von]

It was fourth highest of all movies really. Last weekend. Per screen. Let's go, dude. I didn't even know that. Michael Jackson's Black or White music video premiered November 14, 1991, as a massive global event. Directed by John Landis, the 11 minute short film aired simultaneously in 27 to 69 countries with an estimated 500 million viewers, bro. Man, people for that was when 500. We were all like. It felt like every. You could meet somebody from another language, even somebody that was in a coma. And you could. At least you both knew.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, you knew Michael. Like you couldn't speak the language. But then you like grab your dick and he goes, oh, me too, me too. You, me. And then he would lean.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, you, you do.

[Fahim Anwar]

I love watching old Michael Jackson tour footage because it's just, it's just so fun to watch and because he was the biggest thing on earth. And you'll see like European 35 year old men fainting. Like. Yeah, my God, my God. You know, literally getting gurneyed out. Did this guy, this guy went by himself. He went with his bro. Like, I would have to get a new job or something.

[Theo Von]

His brother's waiting in the car probably.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, like, yes.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, there it is right there.

[Fahim Anwar]

Who's doing this to people today?

[Theo Von]

Nobody. Maybe Bieber.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, but. But I mean, not to this degree. Not like no one's doing that. And look how old they are. Bieber is. They're younger. These are like 40 year old. They have a family.

[Theo Von]

This is someone.

[Fahim Anwar]

This is someone's grandpa.

[Theo Von]

This is.

[Fahim Anwar]

And he's just standing there. He's just standing there and they're fainting. Like they imagine paying all this money to go see Michael Jackson and he's standing like a statue. And you wake up in the hospital, you spent all that money and they go, where's Michael? They go, michael left. He's in Barcelona now. I saw him remove his glasses and that's all I remember. Well, he did all his songs and he glided. I miss it.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, you miss it again.

[Fahim Anwar]

Every time he's like, I swear I won't faint this time.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. He promises his whole family won't faint. He wears something like, like a neck brace. Yeah. Something just to keep his blood like in the.

[Fahim Anwar]

Like Clockwork Orange.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. He tapes his eyes open. He's like, not this time.

[Fahim Anwar]

He has like three mortgages to pay for these Michael Jackson tickets that he always faints through.

[Theo Von]

Dude. God. Michael Jackson was a thing. And that was one thing at school that all the kids could do. Like.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yes. It was more about the dancing. Kids weren't trying to like out Michael sing each other. We weren't like, yeah, it was more about the moonwalk.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

We didn't come to like resets, like,

[Theo Von]

dude, yeah, the moonwalk. My shit was a little bit more like the Pluto Shuffle, boy. My shit. My shit had a limp and hell, but a Swag in it. I got to remember this story. I just heard this story. Actually. It was just like a secondhand story that one time Mike Tyson and Michael Jackson, they went out together, like, just all. They were going out on the town, and Michael had a bunch of chicks with him. Michael Jackson, a bunch of chicks with him. And Tyson was like, hey, which one of these girls is with you? Just so in case I'm flirting with one or whatever. And Michael Jackson told him, they're all with me. Get your own bitches. That's what he told.

[Fahim Anwar]

For real.

[Theo Von]

That's what I heard. And I really heard that.

[Fahim Anwar]

Wow.

[Theo Von]

I heard that. I actually heard it today.

[Fahim Anwar]

I just love hearing that story, like, through the filter of his voice. They're all with me. Get your own. It is funny. They both kind of have similar falsetto voices.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Hey, Michael, how many of these can I. I don't want to step on any toes. They're all my. Get your own. Iron Mike. That's on call for Mike. That's on call for Mike. Whatever, Mike. This is the battle of falsetto mics fro.

[Theo Von]

You didn't even have to have any friends. I bet when you're a kid, dude, you're just fucking doing your own thing.

[Fahim Anwar]

Well, if I get the idea. But I mean, I don't. I don't eat breakfast and I'm just like, talking to myself in the. Like, this is fun because we're just like riffing and shit, but I'm not eating Cheerios. And like, what if. What if instead of Cheerios, I'm eating?

[Theo Von]

Do you notice so you, like. See you. So your imagination must be pretty active. You probably have an active imagination. I think that's the same thing.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Do you notice there's things that kind of. Damn it. Kind of. Or do you notice you've ever noticed certain times in your life or like, kind of periods like that you've gone through or even like things you've like or activities, something you've engaged in? Every time you're like that, I noticed that that takes away, like, it kind of dims, like my brain's ability or medication even. I'm just asking. Is curious because we never think about, like, what we do and how it affects our imagination.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm very personality and energy based. Like, if I feel comfortable and safe, I can have fun and be. These ideas will come to me and I feel comfortable sharing them. But if I don't know someone as well, I just find it's happened enough times where I'm kind of reserved and I go in and I'm not so forthcoming with ideas or whatever. I'm just kind of like in myself. So I have to have. Because I think at the end of the day I am an introvert, even though I do stand up. So it's kind of weird if you're at a party and they're like, you're a stand up and I'm not really talking or anything.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

But in my mind I'm like, I don't. I don't know you. You know, it's just I. Maybe some people have a stereotype of what a standup comedian is, where they're at a party and they're like, how much does a polar bear weigh? Weight enough to break the ice. I behemoth. I do. Oh, got your nose. You know, I just kind of lay in the cut because I don't know anybody.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

And I'll latch on to whoever I know. But I'm not like a social butterfly and I'll observe and all that. But I can't have real fun unless I am accustomed to you and I know you and we have history.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. There's some comfortability.

[Fahim Anwar]

Then my creativity can. Think can come out. So I've just noticed that. Yeah. So it's kind of like energy based. Even doing Rogan, like Rogan's so awesome. He's afforded me a career like you.

[Theo Von]

Same here for me.

[Fahim Anwar]

So many of our peers owe so much to him. Like, I'm able to tour and like you make a living and stuff and it's awesome. But I, I just, I don't know him as well as I know you. And that show is so big and stuff. And I feel like I can't be as me as. As I can with you. You know what I mean? Because he's also an elder. He's. He's a few generations above me in stand up, so I feel like I can't be as silly as maybe. But then you're a silly guy too.

[Theo Von]

Well, yeah. And I mean, Joe's probably. He's probably only one generation ahead of us and maybe that.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

But he likes information and he's like.

[Fahim Anwar]

Wants to figure things out.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Joe's like a learner.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

You know, like the rest of us are out here. The rest of us are most of the time out here kind of gooning around.

[Fahim Anwar]

What about South American wasps?

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

What's your take on that?

[Theo Von]

And. But Joe's like a. He's generally like a curious dude. Like he's like, super cure. And he really is. And this guy, he remembers everything. That's got to be almost. I wonder if that's almost hectic sometimes

[Fahim Anwar]

to retain all that information. I'm so envious of guys like, like Rogan, who knows so much, or Dave Smith or Tim Dillon. They're so well read and worldly too. And I'm like, it'd be funny if some guy fainted under Michael Jackson. It's just. I feel so dumb.

[Theo Von]

But it's just different, you know, we need Joe to, like, you need somebody that was just gonna interview everybody. Like, I'm gonna talk to every single person. I'm not gonna have too much say so in it or anything. You know, I always think he's done a pretty good job of staying unbiased about stuff. Like, and then sometimes he steps in when he feels like, you know, he tries to, like. Like we all do. Like, say, this is really how I feel about something. I was on a show a couple weeks ago and people were giving him a hard time online about him, like, not being supportive, like about antidepressants or something. And. And people take a clip and make it like a big deal. But I didn't feel that way at all, like, in our conversation, you know, so sometimes it's so weird, the things that people clip.

[Fahim Anwar]

I think it's so big and it's so singular that people like adding their spin to whatever it is. You can take any clip and add text to it, and then you're funneling people's viewpoint into that. So much of what we do is just the clipped version of it. Yeah, people have so much agendas. I think that's what's great about the show is that it breathes for three hours and have all these different people and then people kind of decide for themselves. But the whole clipping on X is kind of. That's like a game genie is cheating.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, it feels a little cheating sometimes. Yeah. But people were like, yeah, he's not supportive and stuff. And I've never felt anything. In fact, as I've gotten to know him better over the years, which is. Which is he's such a busy dude. I think, like, imagine, like, I look at my phone, it's like my mom's texting me. You know, she's. She's like, also send me some emojis that aren't always most positive. And some of them, I think, means things that she doesn't even know they mean. So a couple of veggies she sent me.

[Fahim Anwar]

I'm like, yeah, Eggplants, mom, you should never be. Don't tell me you're making eggplant plant. Just say eggplant.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just make it. Dude, just make it.

[Fahim Anwar]

Don't even bring it up.

[Theo Von]

Or she uses, like, that open mouth emoji all the time. And I'm like, what are the. Tongue out. She's like, it's kind of crazy. She's like, it's so hot today.

[Fahim Anwar]

And she'll squirt, squirt, it's so hot today. Squirt, squirt.

[Theo Von]

So hot today. I'm gonna make a couple eggplants. And I'm like, dude, what are you. God. She's just. She loves gardening. So it's just like, you know, it's just navigating like that. But imagine you're Joe Rogan. You open your phone up, it's like. Like, Elon Musk has probably texted you, you know, like the. Some guy. Like, some guy whose name you can't even read from, like, another country who wants to come on your podcast. They're like, beg, you know, and then your wife also wants stuff. You have kids or asking. Just like, he's like a thoroughfare for humanity.

[Fahim Anwar]

Sure. You know, he'll still text us back. It's crazy. Like, that's all I text them. And then even to book his show, he's like, how does he does it? I know he doesn't. I mean, not to call. Yeah. I mean, you have a producer. I love you, but, like, it's fine to get a everybody else. That's producers. Rogan is like, hey, how's. How's this day sound?

[Theo Von]

I know.

[Fahim Anwar]

That's bananas.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, dude. But songs, it's like we don't watch the whole episode and people don't know things.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. Well, we live in a hot take society. We do.

[Theo Von]

It's kind of crazy.

[Fahim Anwar]

Well, there's money in it, so. There's money, there's attention, there's views. So, yeah, you just have to pull back and try not to be so susceptible to it. Like, as you get older, just realize. Okay.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, I think sometimes it's like. I don't know. But, yeah, I felt. Yeah. I mean, in that instance or with that specific thing with Joe, it just felt like, man, I wish this isn't what I felt like happened, you know?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And. Yeah. And he's just. He's been super supportive. Always kind of checks in over the years, like, he's gotten a little bit more real check in or invite me out to dinner with his wife and his kids like little things like that. It's like. Well, I know it's hard. It's probably hard for him to even be around a lot of people a lot because it's just a lot of energy you give out.

[Fahim Anwar]

I remember we went to dinner in Austin one time. It was, it was him, Tony Lex Friedman. I'm trying to think, who else? Who else? It was like a bizarre. You're like, what is this life? You know, we're at some Italian restaurant and then he changes the gravity of a. He's so big, you forget. It's again, it's one of those things of like, I see him at the Comedy Store all the time and I just see him as a comedian. I know him as that. But then you enter the real world and you kind of see how everyone else reacts to the same person.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

So we're just eating dinner and then this pasta would hit the table every now and then. And then we look up and there's like a 45 year old woman just like throwing pasta to get his attention. She's like, hi. And he's like, yeah, yeah. I just, you know, I just want to say hello. And he's like, why don't you come downstairs and say hi like a normal person? Like, okay, I didn't want to bother you. Well, throwing pasta is way worse than just. I don't know what was going through the lady's head, but she was just throwing pasta on the table.

[Theo Von]

That's Italian emails, brother. That's all. That's all it is. Wrote his humming warm pasta at Joe Rogan's table.

[Fahim Anwar]

That's crazy email.

[Theo Von]

But yeah, anyway, I think it, Yeah, I think it's got to be. I don't know. Sometimes you think of what is it like to be him because he's an interesting guy.

[Fahim Anwar]

There's a question I want to ask you. Can I do that?

[Theo Von]

Yeah, sure.

[Fahim Anwar]

So, okay, we were doing one of the shows and then I don't know if you even heard it. You're on stage and then some random person was like, talk about road rules.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

And to me it's just so absurd because you've done so much past beyond that.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

You're kind of like, you're like, does anybody even remember that? How do you take it, that part of your life? And then what was that kind of fame? Because that was. MTV was huge. That's sort of like what Tick Tock is now or being a streamer. That's a good point.

[Theo Von]

I never thought about it in a correlation like what? That's what Tick Tock is now.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. Think about any young person who's famous. Mtv, was that for us that was like the vessel.

[Theo Von]

Well, it's probably where Michael Jackson premiered on. I'm guessing that probably one of the networks that it premiered on because I think MTV was semi universal at the time.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. That was our Tick Tock pretty much. If you wanted anything young, it was that.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

And I also had this thought too. Like young people today have it so nice that the entertainment they watch is made by young people. When we were growing up, we were watching like Balding 30 year olds try to be in high school on TV shows.

[Theo Von]

Some of them were probably touching the kids they were working with. Maybe we don't know. But all the.

[Fahim Anwar]

There's a pretty good chance that that was happening. But we were watching an approximation of youth.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

You know, like that's because that's all we had. We're watching Yo Mama. We were watching Wilmer Valderrama host different factions of Yo Mama groups.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Now if you're 10, you can find a 10 year old. Like or now if you're 20, you can find it. You can find like.

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, somebody who speaks to you.

[Theo Von]

Right. That's a good point. And everything about that. Exactly.

[Fahim Anwar]

Because even like I'm trying to think like yeah, mtv, it was like older people that was people who were watching though were 12 or 13. It slanted younger. But you had to watch. These are the youngest people I see on TV but they happen to be 20 or 25. Like 90210. How old were they during shooting that

[Theo Von]

they were probably 26ish.

[Fahim Anwar]

I would bet he'd be like one of them was full on like balding.

[Theo Von]

He was in high school.

[Fahim Anwar]

Like this isn't the teacher. They gave a teacher a backpack, bro.

[Theo Von]

Remember that? Yeah. Those were the shows you would sit and watch us. Oh. Do 90210 was like, it was the show with. For my family. And then I'll get back and answer your question too because I don't want you to think I was trying not to answer. Was that was the show for my family where like we were all at a. Shannon Doherty, Jenny Garth, Tori Spelling, Brian Austin Green, Jason Priestley, Luke Perry, I N Zer and Gabrielle Carteris. 29 years old.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. I mean, I mean some of them are young. Yeah. Some of them make sense. But some of them are a stretch.

[Theo Von]

And this is when it started too. So by the end they were all mid-20s. Right. But dude, yeah, that like that show Was the show where, like, our. Like, probably I'd watch with three of my siblings, and we were all, like, two years apart, so we all had, like, different. Like, one of us was watching me. It was, like, cool about school. One, because it was cool. It was at a high school. And one of us was watching because, like, you know, we hadn't gotten to hear about things that, like, older kids do or anything like that. And then one of us was just watching to see, like, if there was any leg shown or anything like that, or a little bit of sexy time or something, you know? But, yeah, dude, that was a juggernaut. How many people watch that show, I wonder?

[Fahim Anwar]

So many, I'm sure.

[Theo Von]

It was unbelievable. Luke Perry passed away a few years ago, didn't he?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And Shannon Doherty.

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, yeah.

[Theo Von]

That show was wild, dude. Yeah. For the Road Rule stuff, the crazy thing for me was sometimes I can't even remember it.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's that long ago.

[Theo Von]

It's that long ago, I think. And I think I've just had, like, you know, we get busier, and, like, with comedy, you're doing a lot of stuff. Like, you're performing in a lot of, like, you know, you get up almost every night. And so. So I think that starts to take. You know, that starts to take over a lot of space. One thing that was, I think, in. In hindsight, a blessing about that experience was that I kind of got to be like, you got a level of popularity there, but you didn't. Like, with doing Road Rules, being on mtv, but you didn't have any money, right? So you had no. And you had no. The only way you could get, like, any like, kind of. You had to keep going back to them to. If you wanted something else, you know, you just had to be in their world. And. And part of it was a blessing and stuff like that. You got to do cool stuff. I'm not complaining. But. But. But one thing was I. I realized at that time that, like, there wasn't a. Like, being popular was cool, but there wasn't, like, a ton of value to it. Like, for years, I kind of thought, like, oh, is this cool thing? But then I was like, well, what is it for? Like, where does it really. You know, like, you know, I'd end up having long conversations with drunk dudes at a bar or something, or some monster that corners you and you're, like, trying to look over his shoulder for, like, hopefully. Hopefully some woman's giving you eye contact. You're sitting there just. Just stuck inches away from some dude's. Non deodorant, you know. But yeah, I think I realized that there wasn't a lot of that fame had, like, there wasn't a ton of value to it.

[Fahim Anwar]

Well, especially monetarily. It wasn't there. Right. So you just had fame, but you didn't have. You didn't really own your fans kind of.

[Theo Von]

Right. You're like, everybody like, oh, look at that. Damn, he's up, you know, or he's at the, you know, he'd be at the bus stop at school. Just normal. That's totally normal.

[Fahim Anwar]

You're in college, so just gave you a bunch of conversations you didn't want to have to be in or.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, well, like maybe look at the values of popularity. Like, well, what value is this? Like, yeah, it's valuable to me in the sense of like if I'm going to be out and I'll. Or if I want to get help getting into a nightclub or something. But I don't really have a voice for myself. I didn't really have anything to show for it. You didn't make any money, so it was, you know, you had some fun experiences. But then you were also left with a lot of people who knew you, who you were and no way to hide from it, you know, Like, I remember I was. Even after that I was sleeping on my buddy's floor for like probably a year, you know, So I don't know, it just, it almost felt like, I don't know, it just gave you a look at what popularity was and the values of it and the non values of it. I think. So then like I started comedy and then 10 years later I had this whole other experience and most people don't even know about the first one or they just didn't put it together. I don't know what happened.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Because I so rarely hear about it.

[Fahim Anwar]

Such a deep cut.

[Theo Von]

Yes. Sometimes I wish I remember. Like, I think I was just at a young place. Like I was just at a place where you just energetic and frenetic and shit. You're just trying to get laid and trying to just jerk yourself off or whatever and tell and lie to people, say you got laid or something.

[Fahim Anwar]

Well, I guess now people, because you were glomming onto this other thing that was kind of bigger than the pieces who are part of that show. So it almost feels like you're renting that fame or you're just a part of the assembly line.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, I felt like I didn't have any. It didn't represent me. Like none of the and it felt like I didn't. They can edit things the way they want, which are fine, but it's not my. I don't get to be the. I don't get to be the be all. End all of me. Right?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Like, I. I don't get to say exactly how this is. This is for me.

[Fahim Anwar]

Right.

[Theo Von]

But I don't know, it was cool that I got this. One thing I think I'm so much kind of grateful to God about it is that I got this, like, trial run at what it was like to have some popularity. And so then whenever it happened again, I think I've been able to navigate it differently for myself. Yeah, not always great, but I've definitely had a different perception of it and. And a different understanding of the potential values of it in some spaces.

[Fahim Anwar]

Right.

[Theo Von]

Maybe. Does that make any sense?

[Fahim Anwar]

No, it does, because even people have an idea of what fame is and. But there's, like, levels to it as well. And you think you want it. I think especially when you're young, just because the things that you want, fame will unlock immediately. But those are kind of primal wants. Once you get past it, you realize, okay, it's not as great, but it's great. When you're 18 or 20.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. If you're just trying to be common or whatever. Getting meals or whatever. Yeah, yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Coming in meals is great. You know, coming or meals. Fame is great for that. But, like, why am I here? It's harder. If you want to bust and have, like, Pad Thai, fame is awesome. You'll do those for free. But if you, like, you know, what are these relationships? Are they built on lies? It's harder for that. Yeah, it's harder.

[Theo Von]

So I don't know. But. But yeah, sometime left to. Next time we do an episode, we'll have to go down some of those roads or even just roads of, like, shows that we used to watch and thinking about something that's fun. So you started out in business. You worked at Boeing. What were you doing over there?

[Fahim Anwar]

I was doing engineering, so I was doing stress analysis at Long Beach. So the Boeing out in Long beach, that's what I went to school for. I did mechanical engineering and. But I knew I wanted to do stand up when I was 18, I was very young, and. And then I just applied to jobs in SoCal and then I got a job at Boeing in Long beach, so.

[Theo Von]

And what is a mechanical engineer? Just so people know.

[Fahim Anwar]

There's different facets of it you can go into. You can do like H Vac. That's an industry you can go into. Just like heating and cooling you can go into. Some people work at Toyota or with cars. And then aerospace is a big employer of mechanical. Just think about anything mechanical. There's going to be mechanical engineers like Tesla. Just, you know, anything mechanical. So then, yeah, I got my degree and then I knew I wanted to do stand up. And as a stand up. Back then there was no Internet, really. I mean, or social media. You had to go to New York or la. And then I'm like, my parents are in Seattle. I kind of want to do entertainment as well, tv, movies. So I chose la. So then I just applied to jobs in la and then I got a job at Boeing in Long Beach.

[Theo Von]

And you hadn't started doing stand up yet?

[Fahim Anwar]

No, I did. I was the summer after I graduated high school, I was 18 and then I just started going to the comedy clubs in Seattle.

[Theo Von]

Did you see Adam Ray? Was he there?

[Fahim Anwar]

He didn't start yet.

[Theo Von]

Oh.

[Fahim Anwar]

So I think I met Adam Ray.

[Theo Von]

Brian Moot.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, Moot. Moot was there. Jeff Dye actually started a few years after me. Maybe like two, two or three years after me. So there was some funny people coming out of Seattle, but Adam, Adam didn't. I met him, but he didn't start in the scene there. He started out here in la. He went to usc, but he wasn't at the mics or anything like that.

[Theo Von]

Oh God. Adam Ray.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, Adam. Yeah. So that's how I ended up in LA and working at Boeing. I was there for like four years and then I quit.

[Theo Von]

Was it cool over there? Like, is there like a nice space where you guys have like a lunch or like a community area? Like, what's that?

[Fahim Anwar]

It was so quintessential like office Spacey at least. I was envious because tech was having this boom with Microsoft, Google. People are on razor scooters jumping the ball pits and shit. You know what I mean? Like, tech looked so fun and then that's great. It did.

[Theo Von]

But just to hear somebody say that, it just shows you how people are so different in different places where they grow up.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, yeah.

[Theo Von]

I mean like nobody ever where I'm from has ever said, tech look, Tech looks so fun.

[Fahim Anwar]

Dude, you're saying no one in the Louisiana said tech looks so fun to you?

[Theo Von]

I don't think so.

[Fahim Anwar]

You were getting a lot of kids saying that.

[Theo Von]

No, it's okay though. But it's cool though. It's just. Yeah, places are different. And did was your parents like a lot of pressure? Do you have a lot of pressure. What is your. What ethnicity? Where are your parents from?

[Fahim Anwar]

Afghanistan.

[Theo Von]

From Afghanistan.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. So they came here from there, and so, yeah, there is that stereotype.

[Theo Von]

What is that stereotype? Like, is it a real stereotype? And is it just for Afghanistan or is it from a lot of immigrants?

[Fahim Anwar]

Just like, you know, oh, it's immigrants. It's an immigrant thing. If you leave your country and you come to America, you don't want to hear your kid is hitting the mics.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

You know what I mean? Like, we evaded the Russians for you to try this new bit. You know?

[Theo Von]

That's true.

[Fahim Anwar]

I'm like, you don't understand. This joke has legs. Just let me do it three times, and if it bombs, I won't do it anymore.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, mom, it's about Waymos, dude.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's about.

[Theo Von]

We just got waymos in Nashville, too.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And people are. You can see people out.

[Fahim Anwar]

They don't like them.

[Theo Von]

Well, they're calling. I'm not saying they're out there yelling, you know, at.

[Fahim Anwar]

Right, right. They call them momos or just, we don't like you momos.

[Theo Von]

Get the out of here. Or wagers. They're calling. I'm like, that's insane to be what's happening.

[Fahim Anwar]

You know, it doesn't even know a slur is being thrown at it. It's just trying to get it's people to where it's got to go.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, Dude. What? I saw you. Dude, this reminds me now, you had something on you, like, the drive. The car started complaining. It was having a bad day. Was that you saying that?

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, yeah. It was like a waymo. I forgot how it went. You know, it's fun. I mean, maybe I have it on my Instagram somewhere, but, like, I think you had some tech guy on because my buddy hit me up because you mentioned me anytime you name check me. I've, you know, huge friends who are huge fans of the pod, and they're like, oh, Theo talked about you and. And I saw the clip and you're talking to some tech guy. He's like, you know, fan or. And he has no idea, and you're telling him the Waymo joke, and he's just, like, staring at you like, paint drying. But you're just telling him my joke, and he's like, yeah, that's great.

[Theo Von]

Maybe it was Alexander Wang.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Theo Von]

Was it? Oh, that's great, dude.

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, yeah. Maybe this is the one.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Let me see this, bro. This is.

[Fahim Anwar]

I forgot how it goes. I got to take one recently. I Get in. There's no driver. And the Waymo goes, this isn't my main thing. I rap. Then it was quiet for a while. The ride was pretty quiet. And then out of nowhere, the Waymo went, we need to build a wall. It was like a maga. Waymo, I guess. Then we hit a guy. We hit a person. Just flew over the car. And then the Waymo went, oh, f. You gotta help me. What do you mean, I gotta help you? It's like, you're a part of this now. I want to even help you. He's like, chop it up into smaller pieces. Draw the cards in the back. This has happened. Waymo. He goes, you have any coke?

[Theo Von]

What?

[Fahim Anwar]

Waymo, you're a car. How do you even do coke? He's like, put it in my charge port. Hell, yeah. Let's go in the car wash. Strip clubs for Waymo.

[Theo Von]

Strip clubs.

[Fahim Anwar]

He's like, doing a screenplay for a Pixar movie about a Wayo.

[Theo Von]

Dude, that's great, bro. Everything you. But that. That's like. I feel like you do, like, a million of those every single time. It's just like, what about this? And it's like some new thing, man. It's always so novel. You're one of the people that, when I see you or, like, it just makes me, like. I don't know. It's just like. It's like the purest thing. It's like, this is something funny. Let me see how it goes.

[Fahim Anwar]

That's so cool that you, like, notice that or appreciate it. Because that's honestly, the whole reason I do stand up is I think of something and I think it's funny, and I want to share it. And I hope that people validate this idea. Like, does this idea work? Does it have legs? And when they do, it's the best feeling in the world. Whenever I do stand up, it's just. I hope you think this is funny, too. I don't need them to laugh or whatever, but I'm like, I thought this was novel. Do you guys find it novel? And there's just such joy in that. And when it works, I'm the happiest in the world, so I'm chasing that.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Why is that, you think? What is it? I mean, obviously we want to make people, like, it's fun to make somebody laugh or something like that. Like, there's something so perfect about it. I get it. It's like there was nothing here a moment ago, and now, like, you're laughing or we're both laughing like that. Shit's pretty dope, really, for me.

[Fahim Anwar]

When I have a bit that, like, I know works, I get less of a rush because I know it works. I know the joke works. So it almost feels like there's a. It serves its purpose. Like when you do the road and you're celebrating those bits that you got to that place. But if I'm just working out in town, I'm like, I already know. I already know the joke works, so it doesn't scratch the comic itch in me. But if I can get something that's mediocre or a brand new thought to work, that's when I get all the, like, dopamine and stuff. I'm like, what a rush. That's like catching a big wave for me. So I'm just. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

As a mechanical engineer, do you think that. Because we've been talking about things that are black and white, we've been talking about Waymos, Michael Jackson, but yeah. In the spirit of continuing to talk about things that are black and white, do you think that we went to the moon?

[Fahim Anwar]

I just caught it right now. Jesus, that's so funny. You just like kept on drilling down on it and I finally got the black or white thing.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Do you think that we went to the moon? You're a mechanical engineer, dude.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, yeah.

[Theo Von]

And you left the business because you're like, oh, these, they don't. Why did you leave?

[Fahim Anwar]

I was finally doing well enough in comedy where I could. So that was the goal the whole time. But I mean, most of us had to double life it until you got to the point where the art was doing well enough to abandon ship.

[Theo Von]

Did you have a last day? Do you remember?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, kind of. Oddly enough, I had. I had booked this MTV show and they needed me for three months and I didn't even want to leave. I didn't even want to quit. I just. I wanted to do a leave of absence because I planned on returning after shooting this MTV show. I'm like, yeah, I, you know, can I come back after three months? I have to take this leave. And they're like, no, you can't do that. You can't take that much time off. And then I read that you can only collect unemployment if they fire you. So then, yeah, so then I sent an email. I go, I will be leaving on this day. And I plan on returning this day just to let them know that I plan on returning. And then I just, I left the office, you know, and then I wouldn't answer their calls or emails or anything. I Was just waiting for them to terminate me. Right, right. Then I get unemployment.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

I'm playing 40 chess. There's levels to this thing. So enough time, I'm dodging them, I'm dodging them. Then finally I get a voicemail like, well, okay, well, we've terminated you. I'm in my shitty apartment that you just saw where I'm dancing with Jinko jeans.

[Theo Von]

I'm like, yes, free at last. You gotta put on Amistad the soundtrack and just put on your favorite ballet boots.

[Fahim Anwar]

So that's why I left. I. I finally was able to. It was still dicey, though. Even. Even though I left. I wasn't making tons of money or anything, but it was too big of an opportunity. I'm like, oh, this is an MTV show. I. I should do it. Disaster Date, of all things.

[Theo Von]

Oh, that show was.

[Fahim Anwar]

You remember that?

[Theo Von]

No, I remember Eliminate. Remember that?

[Fahim Anwar]

I remember that too. Remember Third Wheel? Remember the theme song for Eliminate? Be like, eliminate, Eliminate. They would have time cards. I think it was. Was that a limit date? Was he like, why don't you have a 30 minute timeout?

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

They'd be like, that gave me a timeout, dude. And then she'd be with her man.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, the best one of them. Whatever. The one was that they had a dude who slipped off and did a bunch of yay. And came back.

[Fahim Anwar]

Really?

[Theo Von]

Yeah, that dude was bagged up when he came back. And that was the best, bro. And when they had like three or four people and they had to pick who to let go, and sometimes you'd be shocked. That was good. That was eliminating.

[Fahim Anwar]

Okay, okay.

[Theo Von]

When they had like three or four of them or. Yeah, I think four or three. And then each time they would let somebody go and then they had to make the last one or whatever.

[Fahim Anwar]

Then there was one called Fifth Wheel. There was on the bus or whatever. And then.

[Theo Von]

Did you get to be the datee?

[Fahim Anwar]

So the premise of the show. Oh, my God, I'm so young.

[Theo Von]

Disaster date.

[Fahim Anwar]

You're just. You would just be a terrible dater. So friends would set their friends up on the date, and then they would see how long they could last on the date. And you're just acting wild. And however many minutes they last, they got a dollar a minute, which is like nothing. Why would anybody do this? So if they sat, we could just

[Theo Von]

be Somalian and make millions, dude. You know what I'm saying?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. So not worth it. Remember Jeff? Keith was on it. Oh, I think I remember this. Yeah. It was like boiling points for dating.

[Theo Von]

I remember this was this. With Sally.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yes. 495 Productions. Their big show was Jersey Shore.

[Theo Von]

Yes.

[Fahim Anwar]

And this was the redheaded stepchild that nobody watched.

[Theo Von]

Got it.

[Fahim Anwar]

Because Jersey Shore was, like, huge. And I remember there was a rap party for. I did two seasons of this. Like, we did a rap party. 495. And Jersey Shore was there, and then we were there too. But, like, nobody gave a. We were like the. The Teemu show. So disaster. Snooki was there. Mike the situation was there in the heyday.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh. So I have an old picture of, like, me and Snooki and me with the situation, and he's doing this, like, very on brand. He's like, dude, he has aviators. And he's like.

[Theo Von]

And I'm like, bro, that shit's so great, though.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

What I was gonna ask you about. Oh, do you think my. Oh, yeah. But on the engineer side, do you think we went to the moon, like, does. Because a lot of comedians have a good sense, I think, sometimes of like, huh. Because they're making a lot of bullshit. So it's like they know, you know, how much is on the scale at times. What do you think happened, Man, I'm

[Fahim Anwar]

not as smart as people think I am. Just because of the title I think we did. It's tough because, like, yeah, I worked at Boeing and I was an engineer. But then people think that I'm way. I just did a bunch of school. I was good at these formulas, and I did it, but I really don't know a ton of stuff, but I think we do. We did go there. You did well. Look at the footage of the iPhone. That was kind of cool.

[Theo Von]

That just came out.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, the astronaut was in there. It was pretty cool.

[Theo Von]

Let's get. Yeah, let's take a peek at that. Who's the first wigger in space, do you think?

[Fahim Anwar]

Have they done it, like, test their blood to see? Just like.

[Theo Von]

Just like bonafide. Send a real fucking Jason Williams up there. You know what I'm saying?

[Fahim Anwar]

Just for science. Like, we want to see how their body reacts to space. So we're sending Jason Williams up and he's. He's elbow passing to other astronauts, dude. Imagine the passes he could do in zero GS, bro. But that. That looks. Come on.

[Theo Von]

If we get to unlock Jason Williams on the moon, that'd be so sick. That looks like a sperm going to an egg kind of.

[Fahim Anwar]

That's true. That is true.

[Theo Von]

Dude, this is crazy. So that's a picture some guys took

[Fahim Anwar]

on his iPhone one of the female astronauts took that.

[Theo Von]

Probably her man being like, where are you? And he's like, yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

She goes, space, I told you.

[Theo Von]

And then she sends that back.

[Fahim Anwar]

Huh? Prove it. Yeah, it's a nightclub. I've been there.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah, didn't. Speaking of space and wiggas and everything. That's a crazy statement.

[Fahim Anwar]

That sounds like a comics unleashed segue. Speaking of wiggers in space, dude, that's so Byron Allen.

[Theo Von]

You're like, tell me about that. Like, oh, sorry your mother died. What else is going on with you, Tommy? And it was just like, keep it moving.

[Fahim Anwar]

There's an art to it. Congrats to Byron Allen. They got that new time slot, so. Yeah, good. Comics unleashed. They give a lot of, you know, screen time to younger comics and stuff. And more people. Established one, too.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, they've done. They've done a lot of that for people.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And since we're on the subject of space and wigas, let's. They just had a marriage proposal. It's a gender reveal. Oh, I'm sorry, it's. Yeah, this is a gender reveal. No matter what gender that baby's going to be mixed. That's just Wiganomics, homie.

[Fahim Anwar]

What if they do an ultrasound and the baby's like. He's just like his dad.

[Theo Von]

He's like, pop lock and drop it.

[Fahim Anwar]

You see, walking in the womb,

[Theo Von]

dude. Yeah, they don't. Wiggas was everything when I was a kid, man.

[Fahim Anwar]

I mean, I feel you used to be able to say it freely. Some people get tense about, like, are you allowed to say wiggas? Is it still? Can we. Is it back?

[Theo Von]

Yeah, it's bad.

[Fahim Anwar]

It never left, dude.

[Theo Von]

Half the NBA, I feel like they're Euro, though.

[Fahim Anwar]

We used to have.

[Theo Von]

Well, bring up a couple Euro wiggers, if you can.

[Fahim Anwar]

Is that the new term?

[Theo Von]

I guess it is. I mean, that's a great question. Who is kind of a Euro? A euro?

[Fahim Anwar]

They're mostly Euro dubs.

[Theo Von]

You think?

[Fahim Anwar]

We used to have homegrown dubs.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Now we have these foreigners.

[Theo Von]

Did they have a lot of dubs up there in Seattle?

[Fahim Anwar]

There's every middle school has some dubs, but they're not real dubs.

[Theo Von]

We thought that rain up there. A lot of damp dubs, huh?

[Fahim Anwar]

There's some damp dubs. You know, it's funny. University I went to U Dub University of Washington.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Dub nation, dude panics, bro. How could. If you're a wigga, how can you even get married? Like, you're already married to the streets.

[Fahim Anwar]

I feel like it's a good Point. Maybe it's like polyamory. Like, are you. Are you open to an open relationship? It'll be you in the streets. Will you share me with the streets? Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

That's an open minded gal.

[Theo Von]

Oh, I left the trenches to get you and let's go back together.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Oh, I love that idea. It's almost like that movie with Robin Williams.

[Fahim Anwar]

Which one?

[Theo Von]

What dreams may come.

[Fahim Anwar]

You say wet dreams.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

What dreams?

[Theo Von]

Wet dreams may come, dude. Of course they may. Yeah, dude. Bro, there's nothing kind of shadier though in like. Like there's nothing kind of shady or when you get wet dreamed or whatever, by God, or whatever. Because it's like, it's like sometimes you. Like if you. Especially if you're going through a time period where you do not want to be ejaculating or whatever, right? And then God, like wet dreams you or whatever, and you're like, oh, damn.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's kind of a gift. It's like, thank you kind of dude.

[Theo Von]

Oh, we are one of our previous producers, his kid Riley Mao, he used to pray that God would touch him in his sleep so he'd be able to. Because he didn't have any. He'd never ejaculated.

[Fahim Anwar]

And. And would God answer?

[Theo Von]

Yeah, he said he would. I bet that was just. Damn.

[Fahim Anwar]

Like, you ever have it happen where you're like, not at home and like now this is tricky. That's not ideal. Like an away game, like sleeping somewhere when you're a kid and like you're at somebody else's house, you're like, this is no. Now you're like, dexter only. How do I get rid of this? Or am I just crusty? Do I just have drywall?

[Theo Von]

I don't. I only come local, bro. That's me.

[Fahim Anwar]

But you're. You have no control over your brain. Sometimes it does it. You would never have it happen.

[Theo Von]

I don't think so. I wet the bed in a lot of people's homes.

[Fahim Anwar]

I almost feel like that's more acceptable.

[Theo Von]

It kind of is, which is crazy.

[Fahim Anwar]

And it's way more liquid. It's. Yeah, yeah.

[Theo Von]

It's kind of crazy how if you wet the bed at somebody's house, they're like, that's fine, let's help you out, you know? But you ejaculate in your sleep at somebody's house and they're like, oh, get out.

[Fahim Anwar]

You go. I could have wet the bed.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah. Damn. That's different, dude. What else we got? What's popping, guys? Some of the robots I Love that robot dog in the Atlanta apartment complex. Oh, yeah, let's see that, dude. Yeah. Especially since you worked in tech, bro. Let's. I want to get. Let's get your viewpoint on some of this tech, dude. Oh, did you ever get to meet Bill Gates?

[Fahim Anwar]

No. What if I was. Like, I was at Epstein island and I got to meet him briefly. I was trying to ask him about Windows, but he said he had to get to a room. I thought that was odd. I was trying to troubleshoot my. My Dell. My Dell PC.

[Theo Von]

Do you ever hear rumors about him or anything? Like, what was he like?

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, I mean, I had no idea. I feel like a lot of those five, like, what this person. Who would think that Bill Gates is doing? You know what I mean?

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Did you have any idea?

[Theo Von]

Yeah, I think money, you know, get so much power.

[Fahim Anwar]

I could understand why these people. But, like, nobody would throw a dart and think it would hit Bill Gates,

[Theo Von]

that he would be involved in some of that.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. When I was a kid in the 90s, this guy talking about Windows think he's gonna be on a Epstein island.

[Theo Von]

And it's crazy to think how they are. Like, they made everybody else. They're like, Michael Jackson is a pedophile or whatever. Right. And he may or may not have been. We don't know. But there's also evidence out there that he was getting with a lot of women.

[Fahim Anwar]

Right. Adult Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson will attest.

[Theo Von]

Here's Bill Gates right here. Let's see what happens.

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, yeah, we jumped over a chair.

[Theo Von]

Why did he do it?

[Fahim Anwar]

Just to show that he could do it. This is, like, impressive. Back in the 90s, he's hitting on Connie Chung. She's married to Maury Povich, Right?

[Theo Von]

This Chung jumper. Jump for Chung, dude. That'd be a good. That'd be a good Asian Olympic thing, wouldn't it be? Jump for Chung. And it's a fundraiser, right.

[Fahim Anwar]

For the family.

[Theo Von]

People jump as far as they can for Connie Chung.

[Fahim Anwar]

I would. Yeah. I would. Jump.

[Theo Von]

Jump for Chung.

[Fahim Anwar]

How much money you think we could raise for that?

[Theo Von]

Oh, dude. Have you seen some of this tech? Since you're a tech guy, dude, and since you worked there for so long, it's so funny.

[Fahim Anwar]

I'm the resident expert, and I just. You just anointed me as the resident expert, and I'm kind of dumb.

[Theo Von]

Let's take a gander at this, dude.

[Fahim Anwar]

Not. They got the robot dog in the hood patrolling apartment.

[Theo Von]

What the type of AI it is.

[Fahim Anwar]

What the heck? Look like he f. To Bite your ass.

[Theo Von]

Hello?

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, baby, they. How are you? Where are you at?

[Theo Von]

I'm good. This a person on it, so. Well, what y' all got the robot dog in here for? To watch the people so they don't take. So. All right, so we're actually like.

[Fahim Anwar]

Like, the robotic security dog here. So what y' all got to tell us,

[Theo Von]

Alien? Everything is being monitored and recorded. A lot of black boy. They didn't want you to say what's up to them, bro. Once they. They said, hi, bro, everybody was chill.

[Fahim Anwar]

You know, what if the robot dapped him up and stuff?

[Theo Von]

Oh, the robot's wearing, like, a couple chains. And next week, dude, they're gonna fix that thing up popping, bro. They're gonna get that thing in a little suit. It's gonna look like Lavelle Crawford in a month. That gonna be dope as hell, bro. They gonna get that thing popping, bro. It's gonna be beautiful. That's crazy. What do you think? I don't know if I could be a cop, man. I don't know if I could be. I could be a dog.

[Fahim Anwar]

Like a cop dog or.

[Theo Von]

I want to be a dog that lives outdoors, though. The old school dogs, like, when I was growing up, they had dogs that lived outdoors. And I remember the first time I ever saw a dog that lived indoors. I went to my buddy's house, and a dog came around the corner. Didn't. We were inside, and I was like, whoa. And it was like a blonde dog. It was, like, beautiful. It looked like Susan. Suzanne Sommers.

[Fahim Anwar]

Remember her? Oh, yeah.

[Theo Von]

Beautiful.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

I mean, just fucking beautiful. This thing came around, and it lived inside, and I could not even believe it. I could. It blew my mind. I was like, you got to be kidding me. But it was so beautiful. It deserved to live inside, right? Like, I'd seen a lot of dogs that hadn't had missing teeth, missing eyebrows or whatever. Missing all kinds of, you know, just dogs that. We had a dog that couldn't go forward or whatever. That was always. So he'd. He was something. His. His shoulders. His front shoulders were calcified or whatever. And so he had a. So we had to go backwards. It was like, damn this. But he would still get you. You know what I'm saying? So that'd be crazy at first. You like, this ain't get me. But then, bro, two minutes later, he'd have you cornered somewhere, bro, with his. He'd have you cornered with his. Dang. And he's. You still hear his voice, but it's going the other way, bro. And that's the kind of. I grew up around, bro. But. Yeah. What do you think, man? You think he could be a dog? You think he could be a cop?

[Fahim Anwar]

I don't. I don't know if I could be a cop.

[Theo Von]

If you were a dancing cop, though,

[Fahim Anwar]

and, well, now you've sweetened the deal.

[Theo Von]

You.

[Fahim Anwar]

You buried the lead, man. Maybe that could be a way to recruit a lot of people who normally wouldn't be cops. You lead with dancing.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

You might get some Broadway folk in there. You might get me. Can I, like, twirl when I apprehend you?

[Theo Von]

Do you. Whatever you want. I think if there's a cool way of hit the cops, hit to hit the cuffs on them, you know?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Like, what song you want to listen to while you get arrested. That sort of thing, you know?

[Fahim Anwar]

Do they choose, or do I get to choose?

[Theo Von]

I think you guys each get one.

[Fahim Anwar]

It could be like Miranda. Right. So you could choose whatever song you want played while I arrest you. Yeah. And they go to their Spotify, and then while they're slammed against the car, it's like a Kendrick track.

[Theo Von]

She's like, daniela.

[Fahim Anwar]

It makes the experience better, right?

[Theo Von]

Yeah. It's just a mystical. Keep bumping me against the wall Watch yourself. I came here with a knife in my hand. Be cool.

[Fahim Anwar]

What was his biggest song? Mystical.

[Theo Von]

Did I do that? No, that was.

[Fahim Anwar]

That was Urkel Danger.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, but mystical. I think he sampled that in his song.

[Fahim Anwar]

Dang.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, He was one of a kind, bro.

[Fahim Anwar]

What, he was cousins with Master P?

[Theo Von]

Yeah, they was something. Black people love to be cousins, bro.

[Fahim Anwar]

This is true.

[Theo Von]

I'm talking about.

[Fahim Anwar]

They do brothers as well and sisters.

[Theo Von]

White people don't love it as much to be cousins. Black people.

[Fahim Anwar]

That's a good point. Yeah. Cousin is an umbrella term.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

But I feel like even, like, Afghans will use cousin loosely, really. Because sometimes there's a family friend that's so close that just saying friend doesn't quite describe it. And then cousin is almost like honorary cousin.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. That's fair. And your family changes as you get older. It's like people become in your life, and they really represent a law, like something that's very meaningful, like a meaningful connection, you know?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

So sometimes friend isn't really. Doesn't really do it justice. And then sometimes those people kind of leave, you know?

[Fahim Anwar]

Right. If you grew up with someone from the age of four and you still know them, I almost feel like they feel more like a cousin than. Than just a friend.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. That's kind of cool. Tell them, like, you've been upgraded to cuz.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, they get like a. Like a text. An automatic text. Yo, what was I going to ask? What is this about?

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, yeah, the weed thing. It's yours. No, my mother said she found it in your closet. I don't know.

[Theo Von]

One of the guys must.

[Fahim Anwar]

Must have what, looked at it. Where did you get it? Answer me. Who taught you how to do this stuff?

[Theo Von]

You all right?

[Fahim Anwar]

I learned it by watching you.

[Theo Von]

Parents who use drugs have children who use drugs. And to think, years later, our own country would be forcing us into drug use, you know, and profiting off of it, like, just kind of crazy.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. It's got to be in a pill form, though. It's kind of. You got to bottle it up.

[Theo Von]

But, dude, that was crazy. That was hard hitting.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Back in the day or when they had the thing. Your high school remember when they had the don't die like this. And it'd be like if they got like. They always did it around Halloween, said extra, like blood in the area or whatever, and they would. Somebody like hanging out of a burning car and they'd set the back of the car on fire and it would all happen, like, out on the football field. You have to go watch it.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. Just sort of like a scared straight. Yeah. They would make an accident scene and be like, this could be you. It's kind of gruesome.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

We should probably should have been seeing that. That young.

[Theo Von]

Of course, dead people, like, it was crazy. And then they'd always hide a bag of coke on a kid or something. Let that drug dog go find it. And people like, oh, shit, William got coke on him. And then for the rest of his life, he'll be like, damn, William got coke on him, bro.

[Fahim Anwar]

Just to make an example out of a kid, even though he never did it. Just ruin his life. Like, you don't want to be like, Daniel, huh?

[Theo Von]

No, Daniel. Got that.

[Fahim Anwar]

Bae. It's so sad watching these videos because our childhood is in 360p. That was two pixels.

[Theo Von]

I know.

[Fahim Anwar]

That was just two blocks. It's so sad if you're. If you're dating a younger chick or whatever, you go, oh, check out these highlights of Sean Kemp dunking. And it's 360p. It's so grainy. Our childhood isn't in high def like these. These kids today.

[Theo Von]

But it was clear to us back then. That's what's crazy, bro.

[Fahim Anwar]

I feel like it was just hard to get the fidelity of it didn't look this bad back then. Did.

[Theo Von]

Had to have. What do you think happened?

[Fahim Anwar]

VHS isn't great, but I feel like it's better than.

[Theo Von]

I think broadcast TV is a higher resolution and they can't. They couldn't translate it to digital. Yeah. Your new special is coming out. Intrusive thoughts of thoughts.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

This is your third special.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's my fourth. I think that's my fourth special. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Damn.

[Fahim Anwar]

Well, I'm at the point now where you kind of tour for a year and then you got to hang the painting somewhere. You kind of get it tight from city to city and then you gotta. I'm done with these jokes. You gotta film it and then put it out there and then move on. So it's less about putting a special out. And like, I'm huge. That used to be the thing back in the day.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. It made you feel some type of way. Now it's like almost just like, like closing the diary.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's a picture. It's a stand up picture. This was me for the past year when I was on tour. Here are the jokes. Because everything's so clip based. Because everything is. Sorry, can I like fix this? I'm like garbling.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, dude, you're fine. Also, everybody's retarded.

[Fahim Anwar]

Thank you.

[Theo Von]

Thank you. The fact you've put together like 11 sentences is way better than most of us in the world are doing, dude.

[Fahim Anwar]

Because everything is so clip based. And that's great. But it's nice to show that you can do a cohesive 45 to an hour. It's sort of the difference between breaking a vase into a million pieces. But I'd like to see the whole vase. This is what I was doing on the road. Here it is. And hopefully people like it. I want them to watch it. But now I get to move on. And that's kind of nice. You just dump all those jokes from your head and then who am I now? And let's talk about that.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, dude. Intrusive thoughts. That's awesome. And where can people watch it right now? Is it gonna be on YouTube?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, it'll be on my YouTube channel.

[Theo Von]

And will people be able to pay there for it too?

[Fahim Anwar]

If they want, you know? But honestly, just a super thanks, a thumbs up comment. Share it with a friend. I just want people to see it. That'd be the best.

[Theo Von]

Awesome, dude. Yeah, send me a few. Send me. Send me a clip that you really like or something that you want. If there's someone that I can help reshare something or if there's some stuff on Tick Tock, let me know, okay?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, definitely don't.

[Theo Von]

You will let me. Will you let me know?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, I'll let you know. Yeah. And thanks for being so supportive, man. Like, taking me on the road, having me on this pod to get the word out on the special, it means a lot to me, man.

[Theo Von]

Oh, thanks, dude. I appreciate it, man. I had one other question I want to ask you. Like, I feel like in my lifetime, like, a lot of people that are from the Middle east have gotten, like, a bad rap, like, in. Or they've gotten negatively, possibly negatively. Like, branded by media kind of when I say that does that. Because you always hear stuff like, you know, these people are jihadists, or these people are. Like. Even the term Muslim to some people makes it seem like that that person is, like, a person with a bomb. Or, like, do you think that that's a real thing that's happened? And then. And then what can you say, like, about, like, people from that. Like, do you think people from some of those areas, like, hate America or, like, maybe you don't have to go that far, but just, like, can you take me if I say that kind of stuff, does it make you think anything?

[Fahim Anwar]

I mean, you're not far off in terms of the branding of Muslims over the past couple years, especially post 9 11. You felt it if you were that.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Y' all took the L for that, huh?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, for a while.

[Theo Von]

Did y' all do it?

[Fahim Anwar]

I think we took the L inadvertently. Just Muslims in America.

[Theo Von]

But did you guys do it, do you think, or. But didn't. Sorry.

[Fahim Anwar]

That'd be funny. Just the whole podcast is leading up to, did you do 9 11? I'm like, yo, you know me. You brought me up on the store. You know, I didn't do 9 11, Theo.

[Theo Von]

You're right. My bad, dude.

[Fahim Anwar]

This has just been like a honey trap the whole time just to get to this.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, sorry, dude. I gave Candace someone's my, like, remote control. She's got me today. No, no, but do you. But do you. Yeah. What is that? Like, like, just, like, even having any. Like, your parents are from, like, the Middle east, right? Your parents are from Afghanistan?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

What is it like, what is that like? I don't know.

[Fahim Anwar]

You know what? It's like, it's kind of. I mean, I had this joke about.

[Theo Von]

Because how can we change it if it's not true? Like, if some of that's like. I don't know. I feel like it's not.

[Fahim Anwar]

I don't know, I think it is changing with the Internet and social media. You can't paint people with these broad strokes that you used to back in the day because there was only certain channels that you can get information from and it could be controlled very easily. And people would just buy into a narrative that like, be scared of Muslims, be scared of Latinos, be scared of. But then there's TikTok and there's all these. There's so much information now that people can form their own opinions. But yeah, it was dicey for a while because every time there was a, you know, post 9 11, the temperature was. If you happen to be that you felt it. You know, when I would fly, I would be secondary search and I grew up at Boy Meets World in tgif. I'm just as American. I watched Saved by the Bell. But you just happen to look a certain way or. And there's nothing you could do about it. I always say it's. I used to have this joke where it's being a minority is kind of like having an away jersey you can never take off. That's kind of what it feels like because I'm sure people, American, white Americans have been to say, you're a Rams fan and then you go to. I don't know who their rival is.

[Theo Von]

Probably Seahawks.

[Fahim Anwar]

All right. Yeah. Then you go to a Seahawks game in your Rams jersey, you're going to get some flack. But you're still you. You're. You're still Doug. You're a nice guy. You're Doug from accounting. And they're spitting on you and you go, no, I like. I just happen to be wearing this Ray. I can't take it off. It's bolted on. It should be a Saw movie. Just. You can't take the Rams jersey off at your rival team and they just beat the shit out of you. So you're just a human in a pure soul and all that. But you happen to have this coding that gets taken a certain way. So I don't know. Maybe. Maybe that's how I perceive it.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm just curious about that sometimes. And then. Yeah. Did them. Does it feel like the media like made it like these people are bad people? Kind of.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's definitely a tool. I think it's leverage for some agenda sometimes. But I don't automatically just knee jerk go to.

[Theo Von]

Go to that.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, you're right.

[Fahim Anwar]

I think people have. Are generally pretty nice people and. But yeah, for sure.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. I'm just kind of curious because sometimes you just, like, you start to think, like, I think you look back at the world, like, your lifetime. You're like, what things are like, did we land on the moon? What things really happen? I think a lot of people are in, like, a serious. The most space I've ever seen in my life. Like, people are coming up to me and, like, movie theaters and. And, like, asking me about. About Nepal or, like, Tibet or whatever. It's like, what?

[Fahim Anwar]

Well, we all have to be experts now. It's crazy. There's just so much information, and then we're learning we've been lied to in so many instances. And then you go, if the. You'll go down a rabbit hole, right?

[Theo Von]

It's like, if this.

[Fahim Anwar]

Then what? And then you keep on you. You hear, you see this tweet, you see this video. You see this TikTok. And then the Epstein stuff is still going. And then allbirds going, AI. And then this shorting the stock and all that stuff. What's going on? These time. These time things with the stock market, your brain gets overloaded. There's so much. How can I know? You get paralyzed, but yeah, and then

[Theo Von]

you try to calm down, and then you. It's hard to get away from. From the intrusive thoughts, dude.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's true, man. Well, full circle, full circle.

[Theo Von]

Fahim. Dude, thanks so much, bro. Yeah, I hope you just continue to obviously do what you were obviously built to do, bro. There's nobody that does it like you. And, yeah, I hope people love the new, special intrusive thoughts. And we'll make sure to share stuff about it. And yeah, just thanks for your patience, dude. I appreciate it.

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, of course, man. Yeah. Anytime. Thank you for having me.

[Theo Von]

I'm glad we got to do it. This is fun, dude. Sorry if I talked about too much. Serious.

[Fahim Anwar]

No, not at all.

[Theo Von]

You know, just trying to be alive for sure.

[Fahim Anwar]

Doing our best, you know?

[Theo Von]

Yeah. While they let us, bro. Blm, dude.

[Fahim Anwar]

Now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone oh but

[Theo Von]

when I reach that ground I'll share

[Fahim Anwar]

this peace of mind I found I

[Theo Von]

can feel it it in my bones

[Fahim Anwar]

but it's gonna take.