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This episode is brought to you by Dutch Bros. Big smiles, rocking tunes and epic drinks. Dutch Bros. Is all about. You choose from a variety of customizable handcrafted beverages like our Rebel energy drinks, coffees, teas and more. Download the Dutch Bros app for a free medium drink. Plus find your nearest shop, order ahead and start earning rewards offer valid for new app users only. Free medium drink Reward upon registration, 14 day expiration terms apply. See DutchBros.com oh, do you see that thing with the mayor? Do you say that thing with mayor. With the mayor of New York? No, it's. Oh yeah, this is it right here. Do you see this? So Eric Adams, he teaches. What is he saying? They're teaching kids how to. They're teaching parents how to Search your kid's room to find drugs and gun stuff. Get it? You see this? You can look at the jewelry box. A jewelry box of this nature. Maybe a simple jury box. But if you look through it closely, you don't know what your child may be hiding. For instance, that's from the state of New York government. Like make it scary as. Hold on, hold on. Start it over. Yeah, that music is crazy. It's like scare the out of these people. It's like. It almost seems like. Like the story before Castlevania starts it like on a video game box. A jewelry box. Yeah. This is the opening menu. But if you look through it closely, you don't know what your child may be hiding. For instance, a gun. Look at picture frames behind you cameras. Try to determine what's. What's taking place behind a picture frame. You can find bullets. You should always when your child. This is a video game. That's where you find bullets in video games. Look through it to see. Look through his napsack. You might find a grenade in addition to a book. Something simple as a crack pipe. Something similar as a base baby doll. What grade is a kid Baby doll. But also it could be a place where you can secrete or hide drugs. Bro, this is a mayor. That's unusual. Like a pillow like this with a button is a perfect invitation to hide something. And I've felt something bumpy. I would reach in, see what it is. God only knows. I'll tell you this, man. Those doordash people see some. Oh, can I do that? You know, in India they have a cast of people called the Untouch. Do they really? Yes. You just can't fuck with them. Wow. Go near them, you see them and you look away. That is kind of. And to note, don't take offense to this, but it is. When I encounter a food delivery person in the wild, I don't. I look away. No, I will look away, Tim. You don't feel like you're one of them? A food delivery person? No. Yeah. I just. There's so many other jobs. I just feel like if you're delivering doordash. I just inherently. Here's the thing. I. I love them as a person. They're a child of God. Yeah. But they're in so much pain. Are they? A lot of times you can see they're in pain. I can't see really. They're just listening to Scott Stapp usually. I don't feel like. I think some of them are in pain. They're just. It's tough. It's a hard. I just. It's hard for me to see and look at. It's just hard for me to look at and. We got a love fella in the house today. Riley. Ma. How are you, brother? Doing well. Have you blasted that corn stalk yet? You popped that corn stalk or what's going on with you? Daddy. How's it. How's your love life, bubba? Get us the latest, man. You. Well, I almost had something happen yesterday. No. Yep. It was during the Super Bowl. A friend of mine invited me. Okay. And we were hanging out and everything was great. And this. This other guy shows up. No. So you. You met up with the girl? No. Yeah. We were just at a bar. Okay, you're at a bar and. And a dude showed up. Yeah. No. Yeah, I. I saw him and I. I knew something was gonna happen. And what was he wearing? Was he dressed pretty well? He just had slacks on and nice jacket. Him. I mean, that's. Did he know that you were there with her? Yeah. Oh, so he rode in. Right. And. Okay, so he shows up. Now what do you do? Are you posturing a little or what happened? Are you. I'm just chilling. You know, I'm sitting next to her and everything's going great. And I get up to use the bathroom, and once I get back, he. That's normal, dude. Go make toilet. That's normal. Go on. And he's in my seat next to her. No. What the f. A white guy? No. Wow. Wow. A mixed guy. Yeah. More darker. Okay. A lot of the black girls in our town and stuff would get knocked up by the black eyes at a young age. Yeah. So all of our black girls disappeared at around 13 years old and got pregnant. Yeah. And then they come back and they're just different or they just like yeah, they have a child now or they have, like, baby milk on their shoulder or whatever. Like, they were just more advanced. Like, the black kids in our school were more sexually advanced. They just had sex earlier and stuff. So I think that was intimidating. The black girls were intimidating because they had more experience. Yeah. It's funny, sometimes you do talk to a black guy. It's like, I got head when I was 10. You're like, what? Like, for real? Sorry, dude. Sorry. It's okay. This place just went out of business. We're good. We were 16, 17 when we hooked up. Y'all met at a carnival? Yeah. She worked for somebody, and I was working out there, and she worked for a friend of mine, another family. Let me dart that balloon, huh? She was actually pregnant when we hooked up already, too. Really? Yeah. Wow. Seems legal. That's crazy. Thank God. But I don't know. And we're still friends that I still. I mean, Raekwon. Her son works for me now. Yeah. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Her son works for me. Like, was there drug use out there? A little bit. Yeah. Yeah, just a little bit. So most of the time, I'm the server. You're on the line. Yeah, I like to be on the line because I know how fast I could go. Even if I drop stuff, you know, I just keep on going. Oh, yeah, you know, just keep on going. Just like your lunch lady, Annie. Well, she was. We had a couple of good lunch ladies. We had this one lady we had named. Named Sarge, actually. And she was, I think, a. She loved ladies, I'll say that. Oh, yeah. We had this other lady, Ms. Moncrief. She. She'd always be like, make sure to get your spaghetti. That's what she called you. Spaghetti. Get your spaghetti. So she would yell at us. That's funny. She was like, get your spaghetti. And instead of saying cake, would say, like, this is crazy. But she would kind of say, like, cat, like, cac. So she'd be like. And get you a cut of coconut cack over there. See, I think we're all have to be a little nuts, you know, to be over there so long. You know, most think I am a little off, but it's okay because I've accepted that long time ago. Dude. Shoney's in, bro. I remember for $11, you could stay at the place, right? For $15, you could stay and eat, right? So with that $4 upcharge, you got that buffet. Sony's had an inn. And we would go, bro. And the. They had. They also had this like premier buffet for like two more dollars you could go. They had like this kind of roped off area of the buffet and down there they had fucking salmon or whatever, you know, damn pick, you know, special pickles, salmon, honeydew pickles. Honeydew melon. Like I'd never. Shit you'd never seen fucking gay watermelon, you know what I'm saying? They had all the special shit. When you're a kid, all that shit's nice until you get old and you're like, why am I eating this shit? I'm going to fucking die. Look at the people around me. Look what they look like. And here I am with them, about to die. Now, Willie, what would it take to get you to cheer for another team? That is a question I would like to know. What amount of money would it take? Couldn't take no money. I'm a Die Harder time. Well, what amount of. What amount of. No, no, I'm a Die Harder Tide fan. Now, what if a woman came and I'm talking a lady came over from Texas A. M. I'm talking a lady rides up in a Corvette. Willie. What? The tits look with some of that. That real? That real? She got some titties. Look like two angry dogs trying to chew on your cock all the time. Tell me this, she got that cooter on her. That. That. Yeah, but I seen some of them at the porch. Yeah, baby. And what do you now? Oh, man. Did some of them have one. God, the body. Praise God, baby had one night at a choke of mu. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. It was a nice building. They did have a pool at the building. That was pretty cool. Okay. And I was learning to play guitar at the time. And so I would go in there, he'd have some every now and then he'd have a chick stay over and I'd go in there and play. Teasing. The song about Eric Clapton's son dying. Is that what it's about? Yeah, that's the song you would play while the guy was getting me. It's about his fucking son falling out of a window. What? Yeah. No way. How old was his son? Was he in the military? No, he was like a little ass kid. Dude. It's a tragic song. Oh, dude, I'm sorry. Eric alive? He's alive. Yeah, man. So. So your friend's dad who's giving you shelter is getting with one of his eight Viagras and he has to battle that Viagra is up against that old man's led and the saddest song. One of the saddest songs of the 90s. A poor rendition, by the way. There's no way you were good at it. You're butchering it. And it's sad as you. Bink, bink. Oh, sorry, sorry. Bink bing bink bink bong. Oh, so my bad. Would you know my name, Dude. But I would go in there and one time after a. They would request me to come back. Wow, you were the. You were the music for them. There used to be a show. It was like, Amish. Something Amish. Like, yeah, something Amish. And they good show. This one dude. Yeah, something. This one dude kept, like, mowing his grass. He had to use that old school cutter. This, like, this spinning wheel thing. And he's like, this sucks. I was adopted. I'm not even supposed to be Amish. He said, supposed to be. Jury dude is hilarious. It's like a flight that never takes off. You're just sitting there, man, I wish you could pick your cases. Like, I wish they had, like, a menu. Like, oh, here's the cases they're doing today. Because then I could see if I want to pretend like I'm racist or not to try and get out of it. Oh, yeah, you gotta. Yeah, I roll right in there and tell them I'm racist. What. What T shirt are you wearing? And last time, they're like, we have so many races here today. We still have to ask you guys a couple questions. We gotta. We gotta. We gotta filter through that, see how racist you are. Like, we just go and grab a random group of a hundred of America's dumbest people and be like, hey, sit in this room. We're using 10 of you to solve this murder. It blows my mind. Well, it's the craziest part about it is this bitch works at a Leslie's pool supply, and now they're fucking in charge of a murder. Now they're trying to figure out who killed Kennedy right here. Like. And some guy's like, I don't know the difference between a cucumber and a pickle. And you want me to decide on this jury? This is a Fuddruckers manager. You ever been in a pyramid scheme? No. I've been in a couple. My buddy won his family's football pool. It was like their ncaa, their college football pool they did every year. He won. It was like 600. Dude, he was so excited. He could have changed his life. And instead his mom convinced him to buy a Christmas village of, like, rare Christmas vil houses. Oh, yeah, they're back. They're back. They're coming around. They're happening right now. My buddy to this day is. He's big in the Christmas houses. No rent. Rent in much. The tenants don't make much noise and the. And the street lights are always on. Electric bill's low. Yeah. So, yeah, Running into a lot of issues, but, God, that just broke him, man. He never recovered from that. Dude. I met a dude yesterday in Tennessee. He said he took out a $800 life insurance policy on his wife. I'm like, $800? That's pretty insulting. Well, yeah, that's what I felt like when I say. I know that I was probably a kid and there was people that worked around where I live with my. And I think they did crack. That was a rumor. Wow. But I don't really. I don't really know what crack does. It's a functional. Like the. My pillow guy, he did it his whole building, the pillows, you know. Really? Yeah. Oh, so good things can come out of it. There are crack success stories, you know what I'm saying? Oh, wow. Is that what the secret is, is like crack in there? They dust a pillow with crack before they ship it. People like, yo, this is the best fucking pillow I've ever had in my life. This is my pillow. You can't have that. It's like crack bae. That guy like this, you know, he just. There's a guy on the assembly line just like, as they pass. I was gonna say probably I wish meth had like a birth control aspect to it. Oh, man. But I would go white claw. I think it does. I think when you smoke meth, just everything dries up. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Maybe that's true. I never smoked. I always wanted to smoke crack. I never got to smoke crack. It's. Do you ever smoke it? Oh, yeah. Really? Oh, yeah. No way, dude. You know, my body figured. I was tweaking and like, you know, and. And they showed me how to. They're like, you got a light bulb? And I'm like, yeah. And so they showed me how to take the little silver thing off the bulb. And you can take it out, and then you put some warm salt water in there and swish it around. You get all that white off the bulb. Then you got a nice clear bulb. So then you kind of just tap some down in there and you can burn it and smoke it. So whatever. I. I hit the. Whoa. All of a sudden, where's my guitar? I want to play guitar so bad. So for two Days I sat there and playing. Two days, I don't. I didn't eat. I don't even think I pissed. Yeah, it was insane. And then two days later, somebody finally snaps me out of it by knocking on my door. It was my friend Brendan. Brendan Lauer. And I hear the knock on the slider door, and I'm like, oh. And I put my guitar down on that. I'll be right back. Like, don't. Like, I. I hate to leave you. Like, oh. You know, I wanted that guitar so bad. Still, after two days straight of playing it. And I'll go open the door and my friend Bren's there. He's like, what the fuck's all over your face? And I'm like, what? And I go in the bathroom and I look in the mirror and my face is all green. And I'm like, oh, fuck. Like, I thought it was, like, from the meth or something. It was like, oh, no, my skin's turning green. And it was from, like, the. I was playing my guitar for so long that the bronze on my strings had, like, gone to my fingers and I had touched my face. Wow. And so I had green shit on my face from my guitar strings. And I was so twacked out, you know, I didn't know what the fuck was going on. I took this girl home from the bar the other night. I just. Something caught me, you know? It was just different. Something different about her, you know? She was kind of shy, but I liked her. But I got her home, and when we pulled her pants off, she had nipples on her butt cheeks, man. It was so strange. I didn't know how to feel about it. Nipples on her butt cheeks. Wow. How to feel about it? Feel about it with them hands, baby. What are you talking about? Those are extra tits, bro. Now, I wouldn't motorboat them, or you, you, you. You're gonna end up in some dirty oil, you feel me? But those are extra tits, brother. It's great to challenge yourself and to push new limits and go to different heights, you know what I'm saying? And be tough on yourself, but you also gotta give yourself some. Some grace. Like, that's where that balance come in. Yeah. So if you down to you all the time, how's that gonna make you feel? Down? Depressed. Oh, my goodness. Now I gotta do this, now I gotta do that. Now I gotta revert to this. Versus, like, man, like, like, okay, I didn't fail, okay? I'm not the only person to fail. You know what I'm saying? Okay, How I get up out of this, you know what I'm saying? Who I need to talk to to get up out of this, you know what I'm saying? Like a lawyer usually. But hey, you're never supposed to say you're competitive. But I want, you know, there's been a lot of music biopics. Yeah. And I wanted to do a great fucking job, man. I love Bob Dylan. I love this artist. None of this is for granted. This little misconception about actors too. And acting. You can have a cushy job on a TV show if you don't give a fuck about your work. It could be a great lifestyle, right. You're making like high six figures, maybe low seven figures and you're just showing up when you want if you give a fuck about what you're doing. These are long ass days, you know what I mean? These are 14 hour days, six days a week, sometimes, you know, three months. Look, I know, I know people got it way harder, but I want to feel that grit, you know, I want to feel it, you know, I hope people don't laugh at it. I fucking really. I feel like I'm the hardest working man anyway. Maybe I shouldn't say that. But. But you respect what you do. Yeah. Because you got to. What else is the point? I talk about this with friends a lot. Like this is too weird a lifestyle to be nonchalant about. Yeah. Why do this? Yeah. If you're not going to go as hard as possible. What do you guys see on the cameras? And did you guys ever catch anybody having sex or anything like that? We've seen a lot on camera. I, I've seen people getting head. I've seen, I've seen it all. Oh yeah, that's one vote for Trump right there. Hell yeah. But we had a direct incident with one of our guards. Okay, so. And what rank was he? He was a no striper. No strike. He was a no stripe. He, he was a baggy pant dicky wearing guy like me. Good guy though. But he was messing around with the girl from Cinnabon. He was, yeah. So the girl from Cinnabon. We were watching her go from Cinnabon to the parking lot to her car. Okay. But she was walking with a guy. Oh, she's walking with a guy to her car. And he, I think he was, I think he was the employee. One of the employees from the movie theater goes in there. We could clearly tell they're doing some. He leaves. Within five minutes somebody else comes walking up into our guard. He gets in the car, they start doing their thing. Was it a Honda Accord? It was a Nissan Altima. Yeah. Yeah. Ultima for sure. So the company starts growing, right? And in addition to people helping each other get jobs, people were helping each other. People were starting relationships on there. I went on dates off of Craigslist before, you know. Good. I mean, I would use casual encounters too. You know, it's like that was sometimes. I met a girl one time and we watched a Nets game and made love honestly. And she let me sign our cast. Right. And I was like, you know, and it was. We had a great time. I think we. I think we dated. Well, there's. There's no accounting for taste. Yeah. But I'm glad. I'm glad. Yeah, I know. Who wants to be a Nets fan? I need Caleb Presley, biblically. And that's your best friend. I just texted with him today. Special guy. I have a. I have a crush on him. That's like really? It's bad because he's another SEC boy, right? He went to North Carolina. Yeah. He went to. Kidding. Why is he. He's like. But he is a volunteers fan. He says he played at North Carolina. He didn't. But he's a liar in the cheek. True. But he's handsome. It is true. And he is extremely unique. He's. You guys are similar. I think you guys, we do kind of like time. You think we look a little related? Oh, I think maybe it's true. He's Both have blue eyes. Yeah. You have blonde hair. Yeah. Yeah. I have the same facial hair as him. Have you been married before or. No? No. This first. It was your first marriage? Yeah. I was with. I've had three really long term relationships. I had already felt so fucking terrible about cheating on girls. I always got caught. Inevitably I got caught. And those were the. Like, I can remember those phone calls trying to explain why it didn't. You didn't care. Is there anything worse than that? Oh, my God. Well, it's tied with driving to someone's apartment to tell them that you're breaking up. I mean, those. Those two for me are like. I've had a lot of motorcycle injuries. I take them a million times before. I'd ever drive to someone's apartment and just say, like, I think we're in different places. Yeah. And they're like, no. Sometimes I have a tough time feeling proud of myself. Do you know what that. You know? And I think I've had other people call in our. Our show that have talked about that, you know, what do you think it is? I don't know. I feel like. I almost feel like it's just. There's a disconnect. Like it doesn't even land on me or I feel like maybe if I feel like I'm proud of myself. Like if I actually feel proud of myself, it'll go against some script that I've always had written or some thing that was always written inside of me, you know, it's like it. It's almost like it wouldn't. If I wrote on the wall of myself, I'm proud of you. It wouldn't even show up on the wall. What emotion would you feel if you saw that? Like, what emotion would I feel if I saw what. I'm proud of myself. Would you go. Would you say, be pissed off by it? Would you be annoyed? Would you just. No, I think I feel ashamed of myself for even thinking it. That's interesting. And it produced an emotion. And you just. Now, even when you just thought about it, I saw that flash in your eyes. It's just a little bit of water. Oh, yeah. Fluid. Oh, yeah. Dude, we cry on here every week. Sorry. That's beautiful. No, it's okay. But, yeah, we don't have any. We don't have any shame about that. No, you shouldn't. But I'm saying. Liquid. Leaving your body in a public place, as long as through your eyes is not a problem. That's what I'm talking about. Huh? Yeah. Yeah. Don't ask. Don't ask. All this diddy stuff going on, man. What do you. I'm sure glad that I didn't hang out with him. Right? You never got in. You never were in his. I've met him. Right. But never went out. Right. Is it scary when people get to a level of wealth that they can kind of have anything? Like, what is some of that. Like, I'll get invited to these parties, right. That are really nice house and stuff. Yeah. Right. But there'll be like 50 servants. Right? Five people to answer the door. Six people that just specialize in toast. Right. Just ridiculous shit. Right. And all over. I'm like, how do you live like this? You know, because it's bad enough. Like, I have too big a house, and so you have to have people there to clean it and stuff like that. And there's no privacy just with that. And there's people that'll have like 10 people in the house at all times. Yeah. And I don't see how they live. Right. Dude, I remember when I first got a clean lady to come once a week. I helped her. Like the first month. I felt horrible. Dude. Trump. Yeah, man. Insane. Took it. Took the hit, though. Oh, it was crazy, dude. Yeah, that image, him yelling, fight. Yeah, fight. My God. Within. I didn't know. Put that on the American flag. Yeah. You know, put that right where the stars are. This fucking dude. Now this could be easily an actor. That's me. That's. That is me. Me with one of those silicone masks on from. It's like the Guy Fieri hat that you buy at the store that comes with the hair. What he's. His face is going. Well, he was. He was up there. We was yelling. They didn't know, but we could hear him. So we walked up. Oh, it is a fake hat. Probably five to seven minutes of Trump speaking. I'm estimating here. I have no idea. He's got chewing too big old dip stuck in his. We noticed the guy crawling arm, you know, bear crawling up the roof of the building beside us, 50. 50ft away from us. So we're standing there, you know, we're pointing. We're pointing at the guy crawling up the roof. And he had a gun. Right? I'm gonna call this. You out. Go do something, dude. Yeah. What are you doing? You're pointing at him for two minutes. What are you just finishing a beer 50ft away. You have God gives you one chance to be a hero, and instead you pop open another bush light. Dude. Both of these gentlemen don't are just interesting creatures. These are actors, dude. This is a. The backup dude. They got this dude off of Teemu, this announcer. Look what he's even using to interview him. Yeah, it's a mop. It's not even a microphone. That's a Swiffer. Swiffer. What is the current immigration policy? Is that a fair question? As you. So it depends on. So again, it's so vast, like, are you coming over here as a tourist? Then you get a visa for six months, okay? So, you know, come here to work. You got to get a work. You got to have a passport and a worker visa. Now, there are so many types of visas from, you know, from entertainment to family to work. And it really just depends on what it is you're after. If you're coming here and you have a valid passport and you want to be a tourist for six months, you get a tourist visa and you get it stamped and you fly in or drive in, you come to the port of entry and you're free to move out the country for six months. If you overstay, then you could be deported. So why do people not want to use the pathways, the legal pathways to immigration? Takes too much time. The line's so long. You're my mother's absolute favorite, dude. Just because this is why she's probably never heard any of your music, but because you say what you want to say. Came out with little fingers on my CDs, like, running my mouth. It's like I. I always say, and I sound redundant probably, but I haven't changed. The times have changed. Yeah, I've been doing the same thing since day one, dude. You know what? I think that's really true about you. Because sometimes I think some things you say, I'm like. It seems like the. Sometimes I'll be like, that seems kind of outdated. But the truth is just that times have changed. I was talking cash money since I was broke when I was young. Yeah, I've talked cash money. That's. I probably came out of the womb talking cash money. Yeah. And they're like, it's a boy, it's a girl, it's. It's somebody talking. That's all we know. Crazy, dude. Just because, like, I mean, obviously, like so many people tell you all the time, just, you know, Dr. Feelgood, just so much of. Just like me. My brother would beat me, beat me to you guys's music. That's crazy. Yeah, I was the drum dude. I was a snare for my brother. And it was awesome, though. But it was loving, you know? Like, how bad was it, like, when addiction hit you guys band and stuff, Was that pretty crazy? When you're looking around and you're seeing the guys in your band, everybody's this close from not. Not waking up again, you know, you know that kind of shit. And, you know, and you've. You've reached a level of like doing crazy. Like when you're shooting Jack Daniels in your arm because you ran out of heroin, when you could just drink the fucking Jack and be like, oh, and just, we're out of heroin. But I may. If we shoot it, it'll be better. It's just alcohol. Like, when you're doing dumb like that, we're like, I think it's. Someone's gonna die here soon. Like, we should all. And we did it as a band. We were like, you know, we'd take handfuls of fucking Halcyons, they were called, and then we'd fucking and go out for the night. But those are all. These are all fucking, like downers and sleeping pills. So, like, who does that we're doing such dumb, dangerous shit that everybody was like, all right, that's it. Like, we're all gonna do this together. And we just. It was like 89. We all went to rehab together, different rehabs. But. But, yeah, for me, I was mixing so much stuff. So much. This kid was all over the place and down. But you could hear it in the music. Now, sometimes we go back for. For laughs and we'll listen to some of the. I made when I was, like, in psychosis. Would you say is the most up and it's you ever were for an album? I want to die in New Orleans. I think mine is. I was literally in psychosis from doing so much speed and. And downers, bro. I thought Southwest Airlines was trying to kill me. I thought you told me that story. Yeah, I thought Kyle took a life insurance policy out on me for 70 grand. This. Yes, bro. That's the most New Orleans ever, bro. Somebody takes a life insurance policy out for 700, bro, just for. Want to make it their true truck payment. That's the most New Orleans, bro. I remember that we were. We were in New Zealand when he told me that you thought that they were putting a hit out on us. Yeah, he thought, like, what do you say when he sits you down? Put them through hell. At one point, I was starting to get really impatient with it because, like, I was tired of explaining outside of explaining that, like, this insane theory wasn't actually happening. I would. One time, I thought he had my phone tapped. This was one time where he quit. Suicide boys on Twitter. I don't know if you remember that. Oh, I remember. And he. I remember where I was at the time. He had just bought a condo in Bradenton, Florida, outside of Sarasota. And I can't get in touch with them. Kyle can't get in touch with them. And we decide, let's. Let's go out there. Let's just press him. Let's be in person. So, long story short, we fly down there, rent a car, drive to his apartment, and he doesn't expect us. He doesn't know we're coming. We go upstairs, and I knock on the door, and he's like, one second. I think to myself, like, man, I just flew out here and fucked. I'm not waiting a second. I was like, bro, I'm here. What's up? Like, what's the problem? And he was like, give me a second. He had to go to the bathroom, do his little thing. Catch my drift? And then we came outside. He was ready to talk and this long story to say. I was trying to, like, see. I was like, is he fucking with me? Is he lying to me? Is he thinking I'm. Does he think I'm stupid or does he actually believe this shit? And is he. Is he fucking crazy? Yeah. So I had to sit him down, and I was like, bro, this Southwest thing, Do you think that the board, like. Of like, the people on the board of Southwest sit in a boardroom. Southwest Airlines. Southwest Airlines. And they. They discuss how we're gonna assassinate scrim from Suicide Boys. And he looked at me dead in the eyes, the most serious look on his face, and he goes, yes. And I lost my mind, bro. I took my phone and I threw it on the. I was trying to hit the grass, but I hit the sidewalk. The sparked. Yeah. And that piss you off even more? Yeah, yeah. I thought they were trying to kill me because my brother had bootlegged one of our tracks and. And because he was bad off on dope and sold it to this person for like, 800 bucks, but actually didn't give him the song and just scammed them. And I thought the person he scammed was the son of somebody on the board of Southwest. And they were. So it's going to take me out to speak on the other. To speak on the other side of things. I'm thinking, what is coming out of his mouth? Is it real or not? Come to find out. The story of his brother stealing a song and selling it is true. So it's like. And I'm sitting there, and I feel bad because I'm, like, been calling him a liar in my head and all this shit, and then I find out it's true. So then I'm like, all right, so is all of this true? I still refuse to believe that the board of Southwest is meeting to discuss his assassination. But I had my. My brother and my family time, bro. I was very convincing. There's a guy living at our. At our house at the moment, and he was, like, trying to get off work to just come down and just say hi. Oh, and just mill around. Like a. Loitering, they call it. Yeah, Yeah. I think you guys loitering must be a British thing, huh? Because we wouldn't say that. Loitering. What would you say we do? Like. Oh, yeah, Stalking. Yeah, well, stalking is more like once you've loitered and you see something in the window, you know, you see something. You see a bit of tits in the distance or something. Yeah. But. Yeah, that's stalking. Yeah, yeah. And then it's breaking and entering, you know, and then it's marriage, usually, if you have a way with words. I think here's a couple of Viettes right here. Bring them up. And this is Yonmare. Damn. This kid is ripping, bro. Full allowance this week. God damn. Yeah. Yes. Look at his face. His. How does he even know how to feel all this? I got a game on tour right now. This kid could also be 40 years old, dude. We don't know what's going on, bro. Unreal. If that's a real person and not a guy, no one's gonna know. The kids aren't gonna remember this guy. Dude, most people can't even see that far. How. How far can people see usually? What do you mean? I'm just saying, like, how far can somebody see? What is. What is. The average sight distance for a person with normal vision is about three miles. Get. Dude. When standing on a flat surface with their eyes about five feet above the ground, that is. I thought it was like 70ft or something. Why are you asking this question? I'm not sure exactly, I guess. What were you. We were just talking about David Spade. Average read. I just got a cyber truck, too. Oh, you were telling me that. Yeah. You got it. Yeah. How is it? It's wild, bro. I mean, for one, you feel like you kind of work at Lowe's kind of a little. Because it feels like you're supposed to be, like, delivering something to somebody, but you never drop it off. What do you put back there? I don't. It. Well, no, it's just the whole car feels a little bit like appliance. Yeah. So it. That. It feels like. It feels like sometimes somebody's just going to open up the back and just put a TV dinner in it, you know, it just has this like, kind of. Or just put a load of laundry in there. Just press a button. You know, it has an appliance. He kind of feel. But then it makes this sound when you go fast, and it literally feels like you're going into the future. Nice. And some people don't know what it is. Like. There was a guy who, like. I don't know if he was homeless or not, but he just. He just seemed really homeless. And he. He was like, what is it? What is it? You know? And then he just kind of started yelling at it and just cracked a beer open. And I was like, God, being married to a gay man would be fun because there's a feminine energy to him that would be like, almost like having a Girlfriend. Oh, it's the largest Pomeranian you can have if you're a woman. Son is a gay husband. Yeah, I like that's what I said. I feel like that would be your type if you dated black girls. I'm willing to date a nice black girl. Yeah. Yeah. What is. I mean, a black girl. That's nice. What does she look like? Like describe. Just tall, kind of. Yeah, that's some booty on her, bro. Yeah, I knew that. I knew that. And the. Some of the titty went into the booty. I was like, damn, this is a whole. I'm trying to imagine that. It was just, God, like coke bottle shape. I mean, she looked like the letter S, bro. Yeah. And she was really pretty eyes. Yeah. Nice, soft spoken. Looked at me twice. Yeah, yeah. One time I hung around for a long time for the second look. Yeah, but still count weird at that point. It still counts, but yeah, it was a little weird. And I waved and I walked out, bro. And the wave was what fucking fucked me up. What type of fucking guy waves. See, that's going to turn black women off. I know you don't do that shit. You got to be a little bit gangster. You got to be straight up. They want straightforward. Especially coming from you, you know what I'm saying? One of our white brothers in the community. I think more black women want you to be. You got to be more assertive. Not too much because you know how y'all. Y'all get. But yeah, yeah, none of that. Y'all gotta meet. None of that. Turn back the clock. I'm a modern day soldier brother. You get what I'm saying? Oh, yeah. Like, yeah, 100%, buddy. None of that going back to the 1800s bullshit. I'm saying like. Like be assertive as if like 2012 and up. Yeah, 2012 and up. Assert. Right. You're fine as hell. You are beautiful. Yeah. And I would like to see you soon. That works. But you got to be. You got to give them a little get. They want to. They want to feel that umph. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. I'm colonel of this tank. Y'all have to be. You get what I'm saying? Yeah. What's your kiddo like? I don't know if I. She's a stud. Oh, it's a baby. It's a girl. Were you there when she was born? I pulled her out of the coochie. No, you did. They let me bring my katana in. What kind of shoes did you wear? Close toed, obviously. Anybody close toed shoes. I think that's what God wants. Yeah, you have to. Anybody that wears open toed shoes to their child's birth is obviously first of all a Jimmy Buffett fan. Well, fuck. Yeah. Well, that's the one exception. I think Jimmy Buffett could wear thongs to the child's birth, I think. Well, what are you supposed to wear? Like. Oh, I was saying I pulled her right out. No way. You did. By the head. I did. I got gloved up. And they let you do it? There's not somebody there? Is there a lifeguard or something? Well, I don't know. My doctor was such a baller. And is the mom awake during this? Yes, sir. Okay. She's full awake. She's not on her phone or anything, is she? She's on Clash of Clans. Oh, that's amazing. The child has filed emancipation papers. You can see him right there begging for a sip. Yeah, he's in. That's deep Roy, isn't it? That's not. That's not a child. And Roy's getting. Look at her. She's just beyond. This is a new headshot, by the way. Deep Roy has pretended to be an infant. Yeah, there's going to be a newspaper article with actually deploy. I wouldn't be surprised. There's a lot of. Look, things are getting so tough out there. Little people are going undercover. They just had the Russian girl who faked the family to be able to eat and survive. So they're just going to have to, you know. And Whitney, because Whitney is. Is she busy? She's busy, yeah. This thing with Winnie, a great mom and everything, but she's busy. She's got a lot going on. So she. She might not notice if her son is deep Roy. She might notice if she's got deep Roy. Oh, you got a young baby who's just in Elvis outfit. She might like how quickly he's growing and like, she might be like, well, my baby's so impressive. He's speaking. He's speaking Hindu. He's dressed like Elvis. Yeah, he's doing great. Like, I've done a great job. I mean, how would you approach that? I was a kid. Your wife is allergic to the fucking, you know, I mean, cat. And I'm your kid. Be real. Don't do comedy. Don't do comedy right now. Okay. I would probably get a shot. I'm your dad. I'm your son. Okay. Hey, Dan. Booby. No, no, you don't have to do it. Sorry. Just do it like me. I don't know, you don't have to have an Asian accent. I don't know what. I don't know what country. No, no, no. You're. You. Okay, got it. I didn't know. I don't know where you could have an Asian accent. I don't know what country we're in. No, we're in America. Who gives a. Well, give me a setting there. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have to be that specific. Yeah. You're just. Okay, you live in Nashville. Okay. Your wife is white. You're my son. Yeah. I'm so. I'm not Asian. All right. Make believe that I'm your biological son. Okay. Right. Yeah. Hey, Daddy. Hey, Chucky. What's up? I don't know. The people don't even get thought of anymore. It feels like a lot of times. And here's the toughest part, I think Bernie is as a person who, you know, has felt like in their life, maybe their father died in a war, their grandfather died in a war, and they've been tried to pay their taxes and be a, you know, considerate person in their town or their country. After a while, those good people start. It starts to erode a little because they don't feel like. And they lose their sense of purpose. Man. When you're. You lose the fabric of your society. A lot of people, that's how they. They didn't even realize that. A lot of us don't even realize that's. We identify as an American. And when you realize, well, America, it's nothing, but it's a. It's a shell LLC for big corporations, then what am I? I'm just a. I'm just a idiot. You know, you almost feel ashamed of yourself, you know, or you can, you know, anyway, just. I don't know a lot of that stuff just. I just don't see how people think that that's good or how you're going to still be able to get people to buy in. Theo, I think you said it better than I did. I mean, I agree with you. I think a lot of people are ashamed. They're giving up. They're hurting. Yeah. Many of these people have fought and died or their families have fought and died in wars, and they're good people. And maybe they are, you know, nurses and, you know, business people. Yeah. Anything. Crossing guard mail. Exactly. They believe in their community. Yeah. And meanwhile, they're getting ripped off by people on top, politically and economically. Well, even the radio, like, you're saying it's like you used to have, like, a Newspaper and you. You ran. It meant something. Your community meant something. It used to be that your grandpa worked at the factory and they made the table that you have in your home. And so everything had a story to it. There's some connection. And now it's like we're buying stuff from. From countries that they're making it, they don't care. We're using it. We don't care. There's no story. Nobody has any. Like, there's no. There's no thread. You know, the thread just gets thin. That's a very profound point you just made. And so how do we get it back? You know, it ain't easy. Yeah, but I think it's. But I think you hit the nail on the head. And you don't drink or smoke, right? I don't drink or smoke. You never have? No, I never have. I've. I had a great brother who taught me a lesson. Don't drink. What was his name? Donald. His name was Fred. Fred Trump. So I never had a cigarette, and I've never had a glass of alcohol. And my brother was incredible. He would tell me because he knew he had a problem, and it say, don't ever drink. Don't ever smoke. He'd always add smoking, because he did smoke a lot. Did you guys ever do anything fun together? Like one nice memory that you have with him, he had a great talent for flying. He was a pilot. Oh, sweet. And he loved it. And you ever fly with him? I did. I flew with him. He was a great pilot and a very talented. Other pilots would come to his house to study with him, watch him block. And he was really talented. That. But ultimately he had to give that because of the alcohol. He had to give that up, which was a hard thing for him to do, but he had to give that up. I saw where you had. Your mom was out and you congratulated her on. She almost has 10 years of sobriety, you said. That's right. Yeah. She's in January. January of 2025, she will be 10 years clean and sober. What was it like growing up like with an alcoholic mother? Like, no judgment against your mother. This is just to look at it, right? Yeah, sure. I appreciate that. Yeah. What. What is that like? Like, is it hard to make a connection with your mom? Like, what are some of the side effects of that on a child? Even as a young kid, I sort of very neatly divided the world into, like, three categories of people, right. There were the helpless people, the victims, the people who needed to be helped. There were the bad guys who were preying on the victims. And then there were the strong people who sort of stood up for everybody else and stood up to the bad guys. And that's like, you know, that's overly simplistic, but definitely, you know, I saw my mom growing up very much as this person who was, who was kind of a victim and was being preyed on by bad people. Right. And then the person who was sort of looking up for us and standing up for me especially was my grandmother. And I think that attitude of, you know, some people are just not as strong as we wish them to be. And I probably went into the Marine Corps. I was pretty whiny, pretty resentful kid, was pissed off at my mom, was pissed off at all these other people because I didn't have the things that I thought I should have. And then eventually, yeah, there's me when I was much, much skinnier, much better looking. Oh yeah, the Marines, dude. That was the original Ozempic. That's right. There's a lot of Asians for Trump out there. Do you know that? Or how do Asians feel about Trump? Let's say it, man. Can I say something to you? Yeah. I'm not the president of Asians. I seem to think that. You seem to think that I'm their leader. Like every month there's a gathering, right. And I get all this information from people. Yeah, right. And then I go out to the world. I'm their spokesperson or something. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. You're like Kim Jong Un. I'm not Kim Jong Un. You're like a smaller, like scam. Jong Un. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was, there was one lady that covered the Trump thing. It was think this was an Asian lady. Do you see the thing covered the. That time that we interviewed Trump. This is kind of self aggrandizing or whatever. Oh, here we go. But that's not even all. Trump has wooed this hyper masculine online culture deeply. During a recent podcast with the comedian Theo Warne. Instead of talking about economy or immigration or health care or the global conflicts, they discussed cocaine addiction. No. Did you really? Cocaine addiction? Some people are just food, just real creeps when it comes to eating. You know, I've had owl. My. And you know, I don't know if we can say it or not, but. No, you can't. Well, I didn't. You just did. I didn't have it. You ate an owl. You just said you did though. Huh? You just said you had out did he not just say at owl? I didn't do it. Wait a minute. I think. I think he said eagle. Yeah. No, I didn't say eagle, dude. And if I did, it wasn't. It was a wigged eagle. I don't eat bald eagle. No, but I did have. We had Al. My. My sister grilled up two owls. You just said you. Was it fried. I thought we could. Ronnie did it. No, I ate anything. A bald eater. I didn't have a lot. I didn't have a lot. There's not a lot lot to them. That's the trick. You didn't swallow. I didn't inhale. Oh. You know, Thanksgiving, it's. It's interesting that even time says, hey, hold on. I need you to give some thanks. I need you to. You have to have some gratitude here, you know, And I think that. That. To me, that's pretty fascinating. That. That is a speed bump that's been put into our calendar. It's just built in there. You know, it's a comma that says, hey, care. Right? Care about the things that have happened to you. You know, find things to have gratitude for. And see, I want to think about those today and just things that I'm thankful for. I'm thankful. Yeah. Being able to whisper. That's a big one. I'm so thankful for that, because otherwise, everybody in your family would just wouldn't know how you felt about them. You're asking me what I've been up to. I. I've been visiting schools. I. Now I have to, like, look at real schools because my. My. You know, my. My oldest daughter's, like, gonna turn five, so that's like kindergarten. So. Yes. She has to get, like, the real school system. And we were looking at this one place, and they have plain clothes just, like, guards now with guns. So it's kind of sick. I was like, dude, I really want to retire and become plain clothes. Just walk around a school, just grow, like, a ponytail and just be a teacher. That's all you do all day. You carry a gun. You just wait for, like, some nerd to pop off and you just blast them. Dude, that'd be. That would be honorable, man. What if you. What if you start tripping in your head and thinking that somebody's, like, some kid is, like, plotting like, I'm, like, the true detective. I'm Russ Cole of School School Scooter Security. I. I'd have to wait till they pop. They'd have to pull out first. I think you would set a kid off okay. No, I'm sad. You're saying, like, get, like, all tripped out. Like, damn is this kid get paranoid. Like, I know these Damien's up to. I know he's packing. No, I would just wait. I would chill. I'd do my thing in the moment one of those pulled out the steel, I would just be there ready to die and just walk them down. That's your job. So Beast Games. That's the show. Yeah. So before this, we were. I was showing them episode one of a show I have coming out December 19th. Yeah. You said there's a lot of world records that were broken in the. In the shooting of the. Of this series. Yeah. 40 Guinness World Records. Wow. Yeah. We have, like, so many plaques now that we have up on our wall. I'm basically making a wall out of Guinness plaques just from the show. What. What are some of the records you guys broke? Most contestants ever in a show. Largest cash prize in a show. Most cameras recording at once in a show. Most people. Which you saw. Yeah. And show, like, most money given away in the first episode of a show. Just like, stuff like that. Yeah. Oh, that's the most people, probably since 9 11, I would think. Oh, my gosh. And we might have to take that out. Yeah. And I shouldn't have said that. I'll say something else. Yeah. I haven't seen that many people at the same time. Why was there a cut? Before you say what you're saying right now, there's this. We needed something. He had to use the bathroom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just had to use the. Yeah. I had already. I'd already soiled the conversation. Oh. That's the most people at once that I'd seen since. Oh. Since I was in the parking lot of a Widespread Panic concert. You know, but that was lsd. That kind of works a little. Yeah, I think that's. Honestly, you should keep the first one. There we go, dude. But if I've done one thing well, it's what I call failure, and that is I ran for sophomore, junior, and senior class presidents. I lost three times. And based on my track record, I decided to run for student body president, where I went on to. Wait for it. Lose. I've started nine businesses. Seven have failed. I can't tell you how many women in Whole Foods and other places and other retail establishments I've been rejected by. But the reason I get to live the life I lead, the reason I'm with a very high character, attractive person, is because I have always been able to endure rejection. And that is the key, that is the skill. Because one of the great things about America is we don't embrace failure. That's bullshit. But we tolerate it. If your business fails but you're a good person, usually your investors will back you again. And if you approach a woman and express interest and she's not interested, you're both going to be fine. Yeah, and show me a guy. Show me a guy you know. We all know that guy. You think, okay, he's a nice guy, he's modestly successful, he's not that attractive, and he's with just such a high quality woman. That guy is not afraid of rejection. That guy cycled through nine women who said, get the fuck away from me before he found that one woman who gave him a chance to be funny, kind. She was drawn to his smell. She liked the way he treated his parents. The key to success in America is what Winston Churchill said, and that is the willingness to fail or your ability to fail and not lose your sense of enthusiasm. There was a study done in Australia. I used to work in palliative care as a doctor looking after dying people. You know what the top regret of dying people was? That they didn't have the courage to be themselves. And the third top regret was that they didn't have the courage to express their emotions. They pretended to be happy when they were not, and so on. So the question for the rest of us is, do we want to wait till some terminal illness wakes us up or should we just confront the fact that in so many ways we're afraid to be authentic because we're so afraid of being rejected? You've really taken over America. Do you kind of become like us? Like a stitch in the American flag? I feel like you're like this thing that everybody feels like they can believe in. You know, There was a time last year and I just, like, had a prayer where I was like, I want to be happy, I want to travel and I want to meet people. And God answered me like crazy, like, really? Yeah. Wow. And you really were praying that? Yeah. No, he humbled me for sure. Wow. Man, that's powerful, huh? Yeah. No power and prayer. You're gonna pay me to go relive my life. Like, if you said, hey, Sean, you want to go hit the restart button? Like, you really. No. The school system's like, oh, Sean, like, he's just a bad kid. They don't realize him up till 3 o'clock in the morning. Like, you know, late. I mean, dude, I remember it's hard to stay up late. And learn, dude. I remember like laying in bed. Like I remember I stopped believing in God, man. Like. Like I had. Yeah, it's crazy, dude. Crazy, man. Yeah, it's okay, man. It's a lot of that. Sad. Dude. I used to be scared at night. Like I used to stand up. Like I heard when I was a kid that like, if you peed around your, like animals could pee somewhere that other animals wouldn't come. You know what I'm talking about? You know what I'm talking about? Huh? Have you ever heard that? Yeah. I'm sorry, bud. So. Ah, man, I'm sorry, buddy. It's all good, dude. We don't have to talk, man. I can just sit here with you for a minute. Oh, six seconds. I can just sit here. We can just. No, it's all good. You take a second. I just process it. I think some hard things that people don't understand, like trauma, you know? Yeah. Sometimes it just comes out. Oh, no, dude. Like, I remember I have a hole in my gum. Yeah. When I was a kid, I used to scratch my gum and I have a hole in my gum, you know, just from being nervous and stuff. Just anxiety, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Even to this day? Yeah. I mean, the day, dude. Like I'm a grown ass man. I don't give a. I mean, you could post this. I don't care. Oh, dude, I don't have any. No, it's all good, dude. I mean it's. It is what it is, dude. Like, it is. What it is, is. Like people understand. Like when I talk about like, oh, I kill a man. It's like you don't understand. You're like. When you go through that level of trauma, like you just view the world differently. Anything new in the Dayton world? Kinda, yeah. What you got, you little squirrel buddy? What happened? Well, back in March, I had a little. Little incident with a. With the girl. You had an incident? I met her at a bar and then went home with her that night. And now, Riley, at this point you've never. You still in your ejaculatory promissory note with. The Lord is still intact, right? Correct. Okay, so what happened? Did you end up. I mean, like, how did it end, dude? You know what I'm saying? Like, did you end up, you know, cream in that little nugget or. What happened? I did. No. What? Riley. Ma. God. Baby. Congratulations, dude. I don't see a lot of that. Come over here and shake my hand real quick. I just want to shake the hand of a man. That's Come recently this year Congratulations, man. Thank you. Good to see you, brother. All right, go back. Well, sniffing that cocaine all over town Honey, don't let my deal go down hey, hey, hey, buddy let the cocaine be it was meant for horses, not for men Doctor said he came but he didn't know when hey, hey, buddy let the cocaine be yeah, tell it to me, tell it to me Drink corn liquor Let the cocaine be hey, hey, buddy Let the cocaine be yeah, tell it to me, tell it to me Drink corn liquor Let the cocaine be hey, hey, buddy Let the cocaine be wow. I'm walking up the fields going down main Trying to find a nickel for to buy cocaine hey, hey, buddy, let cocaine be It'll burn out your nose just to rid the goddamn cocaine of kill your dead hey, hey, buddy let the cocaine be yeah, tell it to me, tell it to me Drink corn liquor Let the cocaine be hey, hey, buddy Let the cocaine be yeah, tell it to me, tell it to me Drink corn liquor Let the cocaine be hey, hey, buddy let cocaine be Come on well, I don't know what I'm gonna do it's killed my friends it's gonna kill me too hey, hey but let cocaine be Some of you people, you think you're tough Sniffing that cocaine just like snuff hey, hey but let cocaine be well, tell it to me, tell it to me Drink corn liquor Let the cocaine be hey, hey, buddy Let the cocaine be yeah, tell it to me, tell it to me Drink corn liquor Let the cocaine be hey, hey, buddy Let the cocaine be wow. Hell yeah, man Sa.