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Transcript1,248 lines
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A
Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co founder of angie. When you use Angie for your home.
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Projects, you know all your jobs will be done well, from roof repair to.
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Emergency plumbing and more done well. So the next time you have a.
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Home project, leave it to the pros.
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Get started@angie.com Some new tour dates coming up. Sioux Falls, South Dakota, La Crosse and Green Bay, Wisconsin, Moline, Illinois, Colorado Springs, Colorado, Casper, Wyoming, Billings, Missoula, Bloomington, Indiana, Columbus, Ohio, Champaign, Illinois, Grand Rapids, Lafayette, Louisiana and Beaumont, Texas. Get all your tickets@theovaughn.com to and thank you so much for the support. Today's guest has been entertaining humans and taking care of dogs for most of his life. And we're lucky to have been on the receiving end of some of that. You know him from Impractical Jokers. He has a new standup comedy special out on YouTube called messing with People, as well as a new children's book called Where's Barry? I always enjoy my time and grateful to sit down with just a light of the world Today's guest is Mr. Joe Gatto.
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B
Shine that light on me I'll sit.
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A
And tell you my story.
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B
Shine on me and I will find a song I've been singing I've never seen this place. It was awesome.
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A
Oh, you haven't been here before?
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B
I've never been here before, yeah.
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A
Oh, wow.
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B
It's nice. Fantastic.
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A
Yeah, sometimes you just forget where you've been or where. Where you haven't even been, you know.
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B
You never know where you haven't been.
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A
Yeah, that's true, huh? Yeah, that's true. Good to see you today. You brought a little buddy, huh?
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B
Yes. Bomoni.
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A
Oh, wow.
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One of the ghetto pups.
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A
And how is. It's a man or woman?
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B
This is a woman.
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A
It's a woman.
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B
This is a woman.
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A
Okay.
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B
Yeah, this is spumoni.
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A
And how is she doing?
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B
She seems okay. Yeah, she's doing all right. Last time we spoke. She's fine. Yeah?
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A
Yeah. Okay.
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B
And she's good. She's one of my travel pups. She just comes on when I'm not flying a lot and I'm just on one or two and driving. She'll come with me, you know?
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A
Yeah, yeah.
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B
She's not a great flyer, but she.
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A
Loves to chill and, yeah, she seems very calm. In Japan, they were given pills to a lot of those dogs and so they could take good, cool photos of them. You seen the ones with their tongue hanging out?
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B
I know those. I have a lot of those kinds of dogs because I have A senior dog rescue and all that. All their teeth are out. So they just. Yeah, they just hang out. That's weird. I didn't know they do a pill induced tongue out.
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A
Yeah. Bring that up. If the Japanese were.
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B
They're taking. They wanted the tongue out, so it was like. It made them like really, like thirsty or just. Yeah, yeah. I think it just nicotine the mouth a little bit.
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A
It just like, you know, like that.
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B
Yeah, like just gives you the like.
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A
They lived in Baltimore kind of, you know, like some of these Baltimore hitchhikers, like bring. Bring that up.
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B
If they were dropping tongues out in.
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Japanese, pilling up the dogs.
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B
There's a supplement.
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A
No, no, no. We're the Japanese giving pills to the dogs.
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B
That's right. That's a pretty good prop.
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A
Yeah. You're just looking at medication. You're just looking at dog pills or some of. They hide a lot of the good stuff.
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B
Yeah, that's something. You got to dig deep. Sometimes they come back for it. That's not going to be on the first results.
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A
No. Yeah, that's true, man. We got to learn to go deep, dude.
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B
Sometimes the way that Google finishes you or do you ever find that like when you put in something and the way the search eng finishes what you started is more interesting than what you were looking for? He's a scroll. What is this? And you click that. Yeah. That's really weird.
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A
Yeah. And all of them. It's always like gay. It's like dead gay.
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B
Yeah, it's all that stuff. Yeah. Yeah, dude.
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A
It's all that. Shit's always ridiculous, man. Good to see you, bro.
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B
To see you. It's been a minute, man.
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A
Yeah, it has been a minute.
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B
Last time we saw each other, we were on. Both in the same city on tour. And we got some pizza.
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A
Yeah. In Milwaukee.
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B
Milwaukee.
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A
And a pizza took forever.
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Forever. I went back and got it. Yeah.
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A
I think. I think we left and you just went. Yeah. You went back later.
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B
I was like, let me get this. Later we ordered these pizzas and they gave it to us. Yeah, they owed us some pies, man.
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A
Yeah. Oh, those people were. They did not want to give it up. And I'm like, well, if you don't want to give out the food, then don't be a restaurant.
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B
Right, right, right. This is your thing. This is what you do.
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A
The guy was back there, he was eating. So he was back there eating too. The one guy. Yeah. Whenever we saw him. Congrats, man. You got a new special out.
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B
Special out? Yeah.
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A
Your first special.
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B
First special wow. Messing with people. Yeah. It's really excited about it. It's out on YouTube, and I was. It was great, man. I toured with it for two and a half years, and you know how it is. You don't want the content to just to go away. Super proud of it.
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A
Yeah.
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So I put it out there. It's great.
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A
Was it when you guys.
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Trouble. Come here, Simone. Come. Come on up. Good girl.
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A
When you guys taped it, how many tapings did you do?
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B
I did two. Yeah, Two in one night. I did the Paramount in Huntington, Long island. And it was. It was fun, man. Like, it was the first one. You know, you get a little nervous. Like, it's all. And I wasn't used. The jib almost knocked me out, like, four times. Cause I'm very physical on stage, running around, you know? So I ran to, like, the side and the jib was right there. I was, like, knocked out, but it was good. It was really cool.
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A
Yeah. And the jib is like the camera. That's the camera that's on the arm.
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B
Yeah.
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On the arm, yeah.
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B
Oh, you forget, right? That's for everybody at home.
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Yeah. Just because some people don't know, you know. Some people don't know what's going on. Yeah. There you go. Right there.
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B
That's it. Yeah.
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A
Did some of the other jokers come out?
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B
Yeah, they came to the taping. Sal came to the late taping, I think, and then the next. I was working that weekend, and then Q came out and stuff. But, yeah, it's good. They come and see me. I see them when they're on the road. It's.
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A
Yeah, it's fun.
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B
We try to give each other the support. You know how it is.
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A
Have you gone to one of their shows? Like, because. Because you don't. Do you still do the touring show with them or. No, no. Right.
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B
No. So I did. They just wrapped up their last tour, and I came out on stage there. And then when they did Radio City, I popped out. That was really fun.
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A
Yeah.
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B
When I came to Radio City, it was so cool. It was really great. The place exploded.
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A
Wow.
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It was really nice. Yeah.
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A
Yeah. Have you missed that aspect? Because they just came out with their last. Their. The 11th season, right. Of their show.
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B
Yeah.
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A
Of jokers.
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B
Yeah, they're doing that now. They just wrapped shooting that one. I think they got another one. But, yeah, I mean, you know, you miss it. You missing with your friends. The hardest part for me is, like, it's appointment friendship now. Right. Like, you got to think about, like, used to see each other all the time.
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A
Oh.
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B
And now it's like, you know, like, I feel like I, you know, I haven't seen you. Right. When you see them, it's like they're working together or doing something. You're trying to find a time together. So that gets a little tricky.
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A
Yeah.
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B
You know, so. But everybody always asks, you still friends? I always tell people, no, I hate those guys. Like, I'll just say stuff to mess with people. Like, do you like them? Like, no, we don't talk. I was saying for a while, that salad slept with my wife. That's why I left. It was so fun. He's like, dude, you gotta stop saying that. Someone's gonna believe you. Yeah. But, yeah, it's, it's good. We're still. We're still boys.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Just trying to see each other gets a little tricky.
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A
Yeah. I think that just gets trickier as you get older, too. Like, just being an adult, it's like everything gets, like, more appointment.
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B
Yeah.
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A
That's why I miss, like, I, I. It's like you never know when you're in like, high school and college and stuff like that, that those are going to be like the greatest times because everybody is just there.
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B
Yeah. Yeah, everybody's. You're gonna bump the bump into factor of a college campus. Right. You might just bump into somebody on the way to the caf? Or something. Yeah, that's totally different. Cause you're all enclosed, like a community. It's like a cult. Almost like you're living on this. You know, the stockade thing.
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A
Yeah, dude, that's one thing. It's like. But you don't realize that when you're there. Like, I remember whenever I was like, graduating high school, whatever, I was like, thank God I'm graduating. But then you don't realize that, like, 10 years later, you'd do anything to go back and have one big full day of high school.
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B
Yeah, for sure. But there were some people you were looking forward to getting rid of, too. That was the bad part. Right. That's the other side of it. Like, you're like, I cannot wait till I don't have to see this person again.
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A
Like, the ROTC guys were really at our school, were very. They kind of acted like they were like a gang sort of or whatever, you know, like those guys with the wooden guns, you'd see them after school or whatever, and they wouldn't even have like the part of the gun that, like, had the bullets in or something. They would just have, like, it's like a glorified stick.
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B
It was the right shape of a stick.
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A
Yeah, yeah. And they would be running through the halls, like. Yeah. Like, yelling different quadrants at each other and doing this stuff.
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B
Hand signaling. You're like, guys, I'm getting algebra. Get out of my way.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Yeah. I didn't. We didn't have ROTC at our school, but we definitely had different clicks because I went to all boy Catholic high school, so all boy school definitely had, like, a different type of, like, click setup kind of thing where you had your jocks and your mathletes, which I was a proud leader of.
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A
Were you?
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B
Yeah, yeah. Math guy. Yeah. So I was, like, geeky, but I was a bowler. We talked about this just quickly. I was on the bowling team and stuff, so it was like a different thing. But then humor, like, once. Once people found you were funny in high school and you're with all dudes, I think it's a different thing. I think it's like, oh, you know. And then people, like, want to be around you and having fun. So once my humor started coming out, it was a different animal.
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A
That was so much fun. Yeah, dude. Being funny, that was like the. Yeah, I think that's what it was, too, because you always had an audience around you. Always had, like, everybody was right there. So you could make so many jokes and references, and, like, you'd see each other in the hallway in between classes, and that was the weirdest thing, because you had, like, one second where you were passing your buddy in the hallway, and you got to.
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B
Just got a drive by. Yeah, dude. I was known for pratfalling in high school, so I used to pratt fall into my Spanish class every day. And Mrs. Lonzo, my teacher, always thought it was this guy Mike Irving that was tripping me, and she would always give him detention on it. He was like, dude, you have to stop. Stop. It wasn't me. And I was like, oh, he tripped me. You know, like that. So when I got my diploma, my mom knew that I was big. And my mom was always like, you know, you had to be respectful. So I'm getting my diploma, and everybody's like, trip, trip, trip. Like, they all want me to fall on stage. And my mother, like, threatened my life. She's like, if you trip on stage, you're done. You're done. I was like, all right. I can't make my mom mad. So I don't get it. Then I surprisingly get an award. I got an award. They were like. They were giving out these awards, and one of them was, you know, Some of the. And I look at my father and he goes. And I went up and I went. When I went to get the award on stage, I bit it and I, like, fell off the stage. A place went absolutely nuts. It was so funny. I was like, that's the reason why I won that award, so I could have my moment.
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A
Yeah. That's class, bro.
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B
Yeah, I love that.
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A
That shit was so much fun, man.
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B
Is. Yeah. You think about just. Do you have friends from high school anymore?
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A
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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B
That you keep in touch with?
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A
Yep. I still got. Actually a pretty decent amount. I've always done a good job of, like, trying to call and connect every now and then and just see what's up, you know, with folks, but. Or from. Definitely from high school. And. Yeah. So I keep in contact pretty decently with some of them.
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B
Who's your oldest friend? Do you have somebody, like, from my.
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A
Buddy Scott, from where we were is like, in second grade or whatever.
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B
Oh, wow.
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A
This went to his wedding. He had a destination wedding.
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B
Oh, yeah. We're on the same page. You mean a forced vacation for you?
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A
It is a. It was. Yeah.
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B
Yeah.
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A
And then some people can't be there. You know that. And then they feel bummed out about.
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B
It for sure because somebody had to miss it. And then both people feel bad. Yeah. There's. There's two different, you know, schools of thought about it, you know, but.
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A
Because the other school of thought is what?
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B
Like. It's like you're making a memory for everybody that can make it, and you're making it more of like an event, and you're spending your money. You might as well get this big memory out of it instead of being at a, you know, a hall, hitting the queens, you know, and spend all this money. But for me, we almost did it, but I just. At the end of the day, I feel like it's a lot. It's a big ask.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Yeah.
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A
Did you ever renew your vows?
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B
So after we got back together, my wife and I, we were thinking about doing that, and then we just.
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A
Did you guys get divorced or.
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B
No, no, we just got separated. You got separated for two years and then.
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A
Oh, wow. It's a long time.
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B
Yeah, It's a long time. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I had never lived alone, So I was 47 years old for my first time living alone.
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A
Did you get an apartment?
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B
An apartment?
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A
Yeah. No, if you. Look, if you and your wife get separated, you have to get an apartment.
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B
You gotta get an apartment.
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A
Get a house.
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B
You can't get a house, though.
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A
You're in the dog. You're in the dog.
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B
You're getting there. No, that's what that was, actually. The reason, kind of like why we got back together was I had put a bid bin in on a house because it was like, okay, this is not happening. And I was like, I'm a grown man. I'm not going to live in this apartment. I needed a yard. I had my dogs. I'm like, I just didn't want. There was a fire drill in my building. I'm outside 11:30 in my robe, and someone's like, are you Joe from Impractical? I'm like, get the hell. Like, this is my life right now. So I was like, yeah. So I put a bid on a house, and I didn't get it. Could you imagine? You got the fire drill of your. Or a building, and Joe is there in his bathrobe.
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A
I was like, with how many dogs?
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B
Two dogs of my own.
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A
Cruella Joville. You're just out there with a fucking million pups.
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B
So it was like, yeah. So it was rough. And then. So then I put a bid in on a house, and I didn't get it. And then I was like, oh, I had to look at another house. And I said to her, I was like, oh, what about? I was like, I'm looking at this house. It wasn't too far from the kids. And she just went, do you want to get back together? And I just instantly. I just went, yeah, do you? And she goes, yeah. And that was the first time we said it out loud. We both weren't thinking. We were going to. We reflected on it after, and it just that moment, and we just. We were in a. I was doing a dog event in the city, and we were waiting in a hotel room for the dogs to be ready. She was napping. I was working. And then we just started talking for, like, four hours. Wow. And I said, okay, let's give it a couple months. I'm not going to move back home. Let's make sure it sticks. Make sure we want to do it. And it did. All worked out. So then I came back home, but living alone was, like, so weird. I didn't even, like, hang stuff on the walls. It was so sad. It was like those white, freshly painted Sheetrock. Oh. You know? Yeah. Like, I hung, like, one picture, and then I was like, I don't even know if I like that there. You know, it's just like, felt like you had to. Went on Wayfair and I bought a bunch of, like, discount furniture. And I go to the house. There's all the nice furniture.
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A
You're like, hey, at least let me come back and shower.
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B
Yeah, you got that good loofah.
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A
Wow. And what did you. Right after you guys decided, okay, we're going to do that, did y'all go eat somewhere or something?
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B
We did. We had dinner. That next. That. Well, we always. I always went to the house for dinner. The kids didn't know of any sort of disruption, so that was always good. I was always at the house having dinner, family dinner. I was always still very involved. The kids didn't really know anything because at the time, they're nine and seven now, so they were between six and eight or whatever. And the next night we went to one of our favorite restaurants in town and we just had a nice date night, and it was nice. And then we went away, just the two of us, for a night up at this farm in upstate New York and just all worked out, you know, it was a lot of conversations.
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A
Yeah.
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B
A lot of hard stuff. You gotta talk through a lot of forgiveness and talking about, you know. I think the biggest thing always is in any relationship. You always, especially with your significant other, you always think it's your soulmate and you know what they're thinking. And you just don't like people as well as somebody. You just have to say it. So we just started talking and just opened up everything, you know?
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A
Dude, the craziest thing is how hard it is to say stuff. Even if, like, you're with the person, you're married, it's like. And they would rather you probably say it so you can get to the next part. But we just hold the fucking words.
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B
Yeah. And then you get mad that they don't know what you're thinking. That was the funniest thing. I used to say that all the time. I said, you get mad because I don't know what you're thinking. I have no. I'll admit, I don't know what you're thinking. I'll never know, you know? So that's like the biggest thing I found in relationship is really as we starting to, like, get through it again. It's like, just say what you're feeling. Life's too short, man. Just say what you're feeling.
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A
Yeah, just say, I wish your legs were longer.
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B
Longer. Just yet. Longer legs. How'd you know? Did she tell you that was the thing? She's like, joe, I wish you were five. I wish you were six foot, man. You had longer legs.
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A
No, I. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, that shit's. All that stuff's complicated, man. But that's awesome, then. Congrats. So that feels good then.
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B
Yeah.
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A
So you got the family back on track?
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B
Got back on track, baby. I'm a dad. I'm a real dad, like, which is nice. I feel really tight with the kids. Good partner. It's all. It all feels good now.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Yeah. And creatively, I'm doing everything that's good. You know, it feels nice to be able to dabble in different stuff. And did you.
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A
Oh, your kids came to the special because I saw them. You give them, like, a hug for you on stage.
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B
Yeah, they gave me the microphone before.
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A
One you gave a hug and one you gave a high five?
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B
Yeah, I gave the high five to my son. Super. He was super nervous, so he was like, yeah, he's cute. He's. She is like me, dude. She comes out for a bow. She loves it all. Like, she's all about it. My son is a little bit more of a wallflower, but he really likes to laugh and to make me laugh, and we do, like, fun. Oh, there. That's the. That was a thing. So, yeah, that's the kids. So the. Yeah, Mark. Yeah, he's my. He's my tour manager, so he's on tour with me. But then. Yeah, this is my. My. My daughter and my son there. He's really excited. I give him a little.
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A
Oh, you're sorry. Yeah, I mean, you didn't. Yeah, yeah.
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B
I love my son. Don't try to. I already see the clip show doesn't love his son.
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A
I'm sorry.
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B
Starting to start your drama.
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A
I was trying to remember that. Yeah, dude, Jiggy was there. That's awesome.
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B
Yeah, he's with me all the time. He's on my new tour with me.
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A
He.
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B
He's my feature. He comes with me the whole time. He's so funny.
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A
He has one of the best stories. I don't know if he turned it into a show into a stage, but it's like he met a girl on an airplane, right? So he's on an airplane. He's sitting next to, like, this beautiful Brazilian. Brazilian girl, he said. And, like, the plane kept getting delayed or whatever. Finally they get them all off the plane and it's like midnight. They're not going to leave till the next day. And the girl's like, you can come stay with me or whatever, you know? Or at least she says she could have said goodbye in Brazilian.
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B
That's what he meant.
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A
But that's how he took it.
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B
Yeah, yeah.
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A
He's like.
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B
She's like, why is this guy in my car?
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A
He's following her out of the airport. Her grandmother comes and picks her up, right? So now they are. All the. He and this girl he just met stay at the grandmother's house. And they just had. It was like a big studio. So they're sleep in one bed.
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B
Amazing.
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A
All together. And they watched. I can't. I think they watched Saving Private Rock.
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B
Which is a real warming, romantic story. It's like the house in, like, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, where everybody sleeps in the same room in the same bed. It's all the older kid and all the parents.
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A
Oh, yeah. But Grandpa Joe.
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B
Joe is there. Yeah.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Oh, that's hysterical.
- [18:12]
A
And then. Yeah, because I think he thought he was going to go to this kind of romantic night, and then he just stayed in there all. Yeah. And I guess something else occurred, but it was pretty unbelievable. But, yeah, that story is great.
- [18:23]
B
He met the family already, though.
- [18:24]
A
Oh, yeah.
- [18:25]
B
That's good. Yeah.
- [18:25]
A
And they. Oh, he said that they had popcorn and then. Yeah. And then I guess they all fell asleep.
- [18:33]
B
He. Oh, could you imagine being somebody who came home from work? And that's what you see. They like where they pick up this straggler. He came in. He's the best to go on tour. He's just a bundle of joy and, like, energy. He's just so positive and fun. Like, we click really well on that. But he gets like. We make fun of him because Steve burns on the road with us a lot, too, and we love to watch him eat when he's hungry because he literally, if you. He doesn't know you're watching him. I'm not even kidding. Theo. He'll go like, we, like, excited to eat, and it'll be like doing them. And he moves his hands and you just watch him. He's just like a little kid for the first time. I'm like, apple pie. Like, it's so funny. I'm like, dude, you're a grown adult, man. You have a child like, what are you doing? He gets so excited. Yeah.
- [19:15]
A
Yeah. He's classic, man. He's so funny. Yeah. His energy is some of the best energy to be around.
- [19:19]
B
Yeah, for sure. For sure.
- [19:23]
A
Yeah. What's going. Oh, Dikembe Mutombo died. You see that?
- [19:26]
B
No. Did he?
- [19:27]
A
Yeah.
- [19:27]
B
Oh, no. When?
- [19:29]
A
He just died. Brain cancer.
- [19:31]
B
58.
- [19:32]
A
That's young.
- [19:33]
B
That is young. 58.
- [19:35]
A
The kid maybe somebody. Hall of fame, finger wagging center. Yeah.
- [19:38]
B
He did that thing with the big finger. Yeah.
- [19:40]
A
He kind of gave. I wonder if after he did that, is that when they came out with those finger things or not? You know?
- [19:46]
B
No, I think those are. I think those were where. Number ones. I think that's where that comes from.
- [19:49]
A
Oh, I see.
- [19:49]
B
But I think people started using it and as it wasn't intended.
- [19:52]
A
Yeah.
- [19:53]
B
This is not for this. This was for.
- [19:54]
A
Yeah. Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, you're not.
- [19:59]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [20:00]
A
Duty. That was finger wag.
- [20:02]
B
Yeah. That's funny that that becomes, like, your thing.
- [20:04]
A
Yeah.
- [20:05]
B
Yeah.
- [20:05]
A
But then you have to do it all the time, right?
- [20:07]
B
People are waiting for it.
- [20:08]
A
Yeah. People always, like, taking photos and people like, can you do the.
- [20:11]
B
Could you do this? Yeah. It's like me getting yelled. Larry, what do you get asked the most, you think when people want to take a picture with you or like, when people see you, what is, like, the thing that they.
- [20:21]
A
What's Bobby Lee like?
- [20:23]
B
Yeah. So you get all time, right? Yeah.
- [20:25]
A
Tell me about Bob Real. Is it real? They'll say. They'll call him an it. And I'm like, that's crazy.
- [20:32]
B
Are they referring to Bobby?
- [20:33]
A
I don't know. Somebody don't believe in, like, people of the Orient, but. And also, look at the guy. I mean, there's.
- [20:40]
B
Yeah.
- [20:41]
A
You know, for sure. There's definitely 50 Shades of Shez 1 right here. So there's a lot going on then after we got to interview Trump, I get asked about that a lot.
- [20:50]
B
Yeah, for sure.
- [20:51]
A
Just what it was like to be there. Something. We got to go up to Bedminster, New Jersey. That was nice up there.
- [20:55]
B
Yeah. I think I talked to you. When I saw you, there was just the rumblings that you might have been able to sit with them. And I think you told me you were like, dude, it's crazy. I might be able to do it. So that had to be a wild experience.
- [21:04]
A
Yeah, it was crazy. Yeah.
- [21:05]
B
That took a long time to come together. I imagine it wasn't like a.
- [21:08]
A
It was kind of on and off, and then it was just on.
- [21:10]
B
Yeah.
- [21:11]
A
You know, but it was definitely interesting.
- [21:14]
B
Don't think I didn't notice you put on a suit jacket.
- [21:17]
A
Nice, dude.
- [21:18]
B
You threw on a jacket.
- [21:20]
A
Yeah. Appreciate it. I think it's been at two funerals and one presidential interview, brother.
- [21:25]
B
Dude, it's a famous jacket, so it's.
- [21:27]
A
On its way up.
- [21:29]
B
Here you go.
- [21:30]
A
Yeah, the kimbe had that thing, dude. Which finger. What finger is used for different stuff than most? You think this is for.
- [21:35]
B
Yeah, this is always good. And this Is always bad, right?
- [21:37]
A
This is good. This is bad. This one is so. Yeah, this is bad.
- [21:42]
B
This is. This is never good. This could be bad with a thumbs down.
- [21:44]
A
Yeah.
- [21:45]
B
I think every. Every finger has a personality kind of for sure. Yeah. Right. So you could use this for that. This is. This is kind of. This is probably the most useless, right? The ring finger.
- [21:53]
A
Well, unless you.
- [21:54]
B
When you were a little kid, this became a big. Because you'd be like, I'm not giving you the finger.
- [21:58]
A
Oh, that's true. You would hide it.
- [21:59]
B
You hide it like.
- [22:00]
A
Oh, but this one is also the ring finger. So it also is like, signifies. Yeah.
- [22:04]
B
Someone has claimed you.
- [22:06]
A
Yeah. You're locked.
- [22:07]
B
You've been claimed. Yeah.
- [22:07]
A
You're owned. Yeah. This. This is for hitchhiking too. Used to be hitchhike.
- [22:13]
B
The thumb is the most versatile. I think hitchhiking. You're the best. Kill them. Yeah, kill them. Right?
- [22:17]
A
Murder.
- [22:18]
B
This gives you. This is a murder indicator. Straight murder. What are we doing here?
- [22:21]
A
Yeah.
- [22:22]
B
Yeah. This is the first thing I taught my kids, by the way. That was a parenting hack I heard from somebody.
- [22:26]
A
Thumbs up.
- [22:26]
B
Teach your kids. Because a lot of times your kids are like far away. If they're scared or something, teach them to give you a thumbs up if they're okay or a thumbs down if they're not. Because if you can't see them or if you only see them, you can't hear them. So I had my daughter on top of this huge slide down where I was by a playground, and I was scared for her life. I'm like, who can she. And then she went. And I was like, okay. Crazy. Yeah.
- [22:45]
A
Oh.
- [22:46]
B
And then you do this thing, right? This thing that means help me. I'm being. I'm taking call. Liam Neeson. Right? That means, like, I need help.
- [22:50]
A
That's what that means. Yeah.
- [22:51]
B
This is like. This is the thing. Like, if somebody goes, yo, there's like the wink. Back in the day, like, something's up.
- [22:56]
A
If somebody does this to me, I'll wave it back.
- [22:58]
B
I'm like, you're so cute. It's like a puppet show.
- [23:02]
A
Yeah. I'm leaving, dude.
- [23:04]
B
Yeah.
- [23:04]
A
Dang, brother. Yeah. I can't believe that, man. I can't believe that we only get five fingers.
- [23:09]
B
Have you been. Have you ever been so mad that you double barreled somebody with a double, like, fu. Like, that's a. That's a different level of getting somebody angry, that they're like, I need both hands.
- [23:18]
A
Well, if you do this, this, and then you're erect too. It's a third. If you hit them with that.
- [23:23]
B
I've only done that one once. I like to talk about it.
- [23:26]
A
These are just predecessors, you know what I'm saying?
- [23:29]
B
That it's the big finale.
- [23:30]
A
Yeah, that is the big finale.
- [23:31]
B
The double guns, I call that. Right.
- [23:33]
A
I wonder if in every culture that means this. If every culture, people that's like world, like all over. Like, if you were in, like the jungles of Zimbabwe or something, and you saw it and you were angry at some dude, some guy popped out and surprised you. He thought you were a. Like a warthog. Yeah, a warthog or something tries to stab you with his stick or whatever.
- [23:51]
B
And you'd be like, ah, you didn't get me. And then he high fives it. You're like, wait, what is this means good. He's like, got you the high five and stuff, too. Like, all those gestures, they all come from somewhere, which is so weird, right?
- [24:02]
A
The high five is kind of crazy. If a dude was like, hey, man.
- [24:05]
B
Yeah, hit it.
- [24:07]
A
That was good.
- [24:08]
B
That was good. Yeah, just smack my hand.
- [24:11]
A
Smack my hand. That's because that feels. Not even that cool.
- [24:15]
B
Just when we did it now felt weird, right? Yeah.
- [24:17]
A
Because it was. It was very soft. You got to really do it.
- [24:20]
B
Yeah.
- [24:21]
A
Glenn Burke, a former outfielder for the Los Angeles Daughters, is accredited. Credited inventing the high five during a game against the Houston Astros, October 2, 1977.
- [24:31]
B
Wow. So I'm only one year older than the high five. Wow.
- [24:35]
A
When he ran toward home plate and raised his hand. Agreed. A teammate who had just rounded the base after home run.
- [24:40]
B
Wait, so why did I give it to him? Who's the teammate? Because he just had his hand up. He was just doing a hand in the air. The guy who high five Glenn Burke. Oh, is Glenn Burke the guy that did it? That's crazy.
- [24:49]
A
One guy was a white supremacist, and then he came by and told he.
- [24:53]
B
Was waving to his grandmother in the. In the stands. He's like, hey.
- [24:56]
A
He's like, hey, your wife are. So am I. Yeah, it's doing bad. Let's make it happen.
- [25:00]
B
That's crazy.
- [25:01]
A
That is crazy. The high five dude.
- [25:03]
B
Yeah, the fist bump, it seems. Do you ever get the aggressive fist bump where somebody just fights your fist? They don't know how. They just punch you in the hand because, like, you meet a lot of people, you don't always want to be touching people and stuff, Right. You're like, oh, fist bump.
- [25:13]
A
Sometimes you'll do fist bump. If it's a Lot of people coming.
- [25:16]
B
To you and hit you hard. Like, they just punch your hand or.
- [25:18]
A
Yeah, sometimes people will keep pushing against your hand.
- [25:21]
B
Push your back.
- [25:22]
A
Yeah.
- [25:22]
B
You trying to move me? What am I doing? Yeah, but.
- [25:24]
A
Yeah, and also, people have. A lot of people have sweaty, wet hands now.
- [25:28]
B
Yeah. It's a thing.
- [25:29]
A
Oh, it's gotten way worse. And when I was a kid, everybody's hands were dry. Right. Like, you know, sometimes you'd see, like, some facial sweat or somebody with, like, who never shaved their neck. They'd have, like, a lot of sweat and hair on their neck or whatever. But you didn't see people's hands just, you know, shopping. Yeah.
- [25:46]
B
The worst is when you're done with it. Now this is your sweat that I have on my hand. What am I going to do with it? Am I going to ruin my pants? Am I finding a piece of furniture? Like, you have to figure out where to put it.
- [25:55]
A
Yeah. They don't give you any direction. It's like, hey, here's some wet. Here's some wet.
- [25:59]
B
This is your problem now. This is some wet me that you have to deal with.
- [26:06]
A
One little wet me. Dude. Somebody said that Pharrell, the singer.
- [26:11]
B
Yeah.
- [26:12]
A
Had really dry hands.
- [26:15]
B
Dry.
- [26:15]
A
Somebody told me that once. I remember that.
- [26:17]
B
That he wasn't. Like. He wasn't sweaty or was it dry to the fact that it was like. You felt. It was like sandpaper.
- [26:22]
A
Yeah.
- [26:22]
B
Like, wow.
- [26:24]
A
Very dry hand.
- [26:25]
B
Yeah.
- [26:25]
A
It could be from mixing those albums or whatever.
- [26:28]
B
Gets calluses.
- [26:29]
A
Yeah, that could be it.
- [26:30]
B
He works with his hands.
- [26:31]
A
Yeah, that's a good point, man. This episode is sponsored by Prize Picks. Do you love firing on sports? Well, Prize Picks is the best daily fantasy sports app for you. Sign up today and get $50 instantly when you play $5, you don't even need to win to receive the $50 bonus. It's guaranteed you can fire on all your favorite sports, like the NBA, NFL, ufc, and many more. What I like about Prize Picks personally is that instead of choosing teams, you choose individual players. Each player has a set projection, and you either choose more or less than that set projection. If you're smart with sports and you know what players are going to perform on what nights, Prizepix is the best app for you. I played this weekend on some of the NFL games and I won. I won something. First time users download the Prizepix app, use code THEO and Prizepix will instantly give you $50 on your first lineup of $5 or more, no strings attached. Put in $5 and instantly get a free $50. This episode is sponsored by Prizepix, and we thank them. Today's episode is sponsored by Morgan and Morgan, America's largest personal injury law firm. For over 35 years, they've been fighting and winning for the people just like you and me. They've won so many cases, they've racked up more than $20 billion in recoveries for their clients. That's right. Billion with a B. And because they've got your back, I'm excited to announce that they're offering one lucky listener, $2,000 and two tickets to WWE's Royal Rumble. Entering the win is easy. Just text TPW to 4 the number 4 the people. That's TPW to 484-373-6742 or click the link in the description below if you're watching on YouTube. That's right. No purchase necessary. This sweepstakes is open only to natural persons who are legal Residents of the 48 contiguous United States, including the District of Columbia, who are 18 years of age or older. Sweepstakes ends 1031, 2024. For entry and official rules, visit morgan WWE.com void where prohibited. What a day, man. What else is going on? Those storms, dude, it's so heartbreaking.
- [29:13]
B
I know, I know. I had a show in Evans that I had to reschedule.
- [29:16]
A
Nuh. Did you?
- [29:17]
B
Yeah, I was. I went. I got my one off in Savannah and then went to the Evans. Won the place. You know, the power. They didn't have power in the theater.
- [29:25]
A
Evans, Georgia.
- [29:26]
B
Yeah. Evans, Georgia. Oh, yeah. It's been tough down there. And then they were like, you know, we don't have power. I was like, we're not gonna do comedy by candlelight. Like, what do we have to do? We have to reschedule it. So. But down there, the people are so, like, equipped to handle it and be like, it's such a community when stuff like that happens down there, it's crazy. Like, because we were there and there was people going, driving over to be like, oh, we're just going to go get. They had, like, family and whatnot. I was talking to somebody at a restaurant. They were like, yeah, we gotta go pick up my aunt. Like, they just, like, know what to do, and they're just ready for it. It was.
- [29:57]
A
Yeah. People in the south are really dialed in with their families. You know, being close with your family is like. It's one of the main things.
- [30:03]
B
Yeah.
- [30:04]
A
You know, and everybody has a truck. Everybody wants to help out.
- [30:07]
B
Everybody has a truck.
- [30:08]
A
Yeah.
- [30:08]
B
That's so different, you know, down there, everybody's. Yeah, Ken, he's got. Call Tim. He's got the, you know, cousin Tim's got it. He's got the truck.
- [30:14]
A
People are like, I don't know one.
- [30:15]
B
Person with a pickup truck in New York. Yeah, I don't know one person.
- [30:19]
A
People are like, I'll help out right now. What do you need me to do? Everybody knows CPR or knows a fireman that's says he knows cpr and then.
- [30:26]
B
When he has to prove it, it's a problem. He's just blown in this guy's face. I. I was in a situation where somebody was choking on. I had to. I. I jumped into action.
- [30:37]
A
Nuh.
- [30:38]
B
Yeah. Our tour manager. Our tour manager had this. We didn't know we had this.
- [30:42]
A
Where we all eatin at?
- [30:44]
B
We were. No, he was signing. We were doing the settlement down at the. We were in the hotel ballroom. One of the things at the hotel, like, we had a little room and he was signing the check to pay us for the weekend. And he had this condition. When he coughed, he would lose his breath and just like, pass out. But we didn't know that. So he started coughing and he was talking through it, right? So it's me, Sal and Murray. And he's coughing, he's like. And he just, Just goes. And he just shuts down. And so I'm sitting next on one side, Mer's on the other, and Mer just shaking goes. His guest name was Jeff. He's like, jeff, Jeff, Jeff. So I hopped up and I was like, all right, I gotta do something. But I didn't do the highlight. I did like an over the shoulder, like, seat belt, like. And I just started, like, shaking him, trying to wake him up. Sal ran over and it was at the Hoyt Sherman, near the Hoyt Sherman Theater. And he ran and grabbed the. The phone that was connected to the bell desk. And he was like, call 91 1. Instead of calling 91 1, he yelled at their phone. And I'm hugging him and like. And then all of a sudden, he just came back to life and he's like, oh. And I'm over his shoulder and he goes, did it happen again? And we're like, what are you talking about, dude? Yeah. So I have no skills. The only person that had any skills was Q because he was a fireman and he was in bed, so we couldn't even help.
- [31:54]
A
Hey, that's typical fireman. If there ain't a fire, dude, I'm asleep, put a hot dog in my jaw. And I'm going to sleep, dude.
- [32:02]
B
Done. Yeah, so I'm not equipped for any of that emergency stuff.
- [32:06]
A
Yeah, that's scary, dude. We had a one time, me and my buddy Scotty, the same guy I was talking about earlier. We'd eaten some lsd, right? And. And we were children, man. And so we went. We got to the Waffle House, you know, and we were so excited, you know, it was like 4am Worth. The waffle House House. And there was. And we were laughing so hard, dude. We. We had the giggles so hard. And they had a gay gentleman working there, right? And we never seen a gay gentleman. You'd heard about her. Seen drawings of like a guy, like grabbing somebody's wean or something. See somebody chisel that into like a tree or in like a side of a bridge or something. But we'd never seen like a gay gentleman in the wild. Yeah, yeah, in the wild, dude. And in the wildest place on earth, bro. The halfway house that has a waffle maker, you know. So we're in there, dude, and he's like being real. Like he had like as much gaze you could have inside of somebody, like in for his frame or whatever. And you could just see it kind of bubbling out of his shoulders every now and then, you know? And we were laughing so hard. My buddy Scott, like, he. When he laughs, he kind of does like this choking thing. So the guy thought that my buddy was choking, dude. So he comes around, save the day. Yeah, Starts doing that. My buddy Scott, a little guy, starts doing the homic on him, dude. And I am laughing so harder. Oh, dude, I'm laughing so hard. I remember I had to beat my feet against each other cuz like, just I needed to get more sound out.
- [33:44]
B
Of it, more energy.
- [33:45]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. He seen a gay guy do the ha maneuver.
- [33:50]
B
Bouncing your little friend around, thinking he's saving the day.
- [33:54]
A
Yeah, yeah. It was just like spumoni on your lap, brother. You know? So that was so. That was like a crazy thing that happened, like the first time anybody ever choked by us or something.
- [34:05]
B
I've seen. I've seen people successfully do it. And it's so weird that people don't know what to do.
- [34:09]
A
It's beautiful when people do it well.
- [34:10]
B
People do it for. Well when they do it well. And the piece of the chicken bone just comes flying out, whatever. And then everybody just starts clapping like it's like the plane landed. It's like everybody's like, yeah, that's so weird to take a lap because you just Saved this guy because he didn't chew his filet mignon. Yeah.
- [34:26]
A
Yeah, dude. We had. What was happening. Oh, dude, I was at a hotel in Hawaii, and a guy starts choking at the breakfast bar. And it was like. It was a nice breakfast bar. They had, like, cereal, fruit, assortment of.
- [34:41]
B
Different styles of eggs. Scrambled, hard boiled.
- [34:44]
A
Yeah, they had a couple of. They had those little. The big silver things. You have to open up and see what's in it.
- [34:49]
B
Oh, surprise. They want to keep you guessing. Yeah, it's like, aloha. What do we got here?
- [34:54]
A
And then there's, like, two of them that just have smoke coming out. There's just, like, warm water in it.
- [34:58]
B
They're like, oh, we're bringing it back out. We're bringing the ham out.
- [35:00]
A
Yeah. You're like, I think. I don't think that anything was ever in here. But they make it look like scooping.
- [35:04]
B
The water out, thinking it's something exotic. Like, I'm getting out of wine. Hot water.
- [35:10]
A
Oh, God. I'll have another. Honey, give me another.
- [35:13]
B
Give me a bowl of that pineapple hot water. That's great.
- [35:17]
A
So this guy starts choking, and they bring out one of those, like, divider things where you just, like, can divide a room, you know, with one of those. And they bring that out. Cause there's, like, all these tables right there just eating. And so they bring that out, and one guy keeps eating, and people are like, quit fucking eating, dude. You don't fucking.
- [35:35]
B
You don't eat in front of a possible death situation.
- [35:38]
A
Like, seven feet over. You can hear this guy, like, struggling for his life, dude. Right? And this guy's chomping on his corn flakes over here, and Magic Johnson was there, dude. So at a certain point, and this took a long time, they were trying to revive the guy and.
- [35:54]
B
Yeah.
- [35:54]
A
Yeah. And so at certain point, everybody starts looking at Magic Johnson, like, fucking do something. Magic Johnson.
- [35:59]
B
Your Magic. Yeah, it's in your name.
- [36:02]
A
Like, just. Yeah, go double dribble on his heart or something.
- [36:04]
B
Do that.
- [36:05]
A
Right?
- [36:05]
B
Yeah. If you cross over his arteries, do something.
- [36:09]
A
You can tell him you can't fucking pat him on the back in a special way.
- [36:12]
B
Yeah. At least give him a hug or something.
- [36:14]
A
One more assistant. And so it got so crazy, and then nobody would eat, dude, because they were really, like, boom, Raging into him and beating on his chest or whatever. And. And then finally they took him out of there. I don't. I. He didn't make it. I know that, but.
- [36:35]
B
So that was his last breakfast.
- [36:37]
A
It was last breakfast, but At a certain point, we'd all sat there and then somebody has to take the first bite.
- [36:45]
B
And the guy with the corn flakes is. Who's laughing now? I didn't miss a step. I'm ready to go. Yeah. Taking the first bite in that situation is rough. Yeah.
- [36:53]
A
It just broke my heart, man. Oh, and I was like, I told my day. I was like, we're not doing. Do not eat first. Yeah, yeah, Magic. Eat first. Like somebody.
- [37:02]
B
I think everybody looks at Magic Johnson in that situation, and I think ceremoniously, he should be like, let's eat. It's like your dad at Thanksgiving when he's like, okay, we could do like, I've done carving. We could eat. Yeah. Like anything.
- [37:13]
A
Yeah.
- [37:13]
B
He puts it out, out.
- [37:15]
A
But that was crazy, man. So. Yeah, I mean, you. It's crazy cuz you're in. The guy who can. Who is magic himself, and he could do nothing.
- [37:23]
B
Yeah.
- [37:24]
A
You know, I think it would be.
- [37:25]
B
Worse if there was a real magician there. Like, if David Blaine was there and they're like, dude, make the chicken bone and his throat disappear. Like, make it come out of behind his ear or something.
- [37:35]
A
You know, keep pulling those rags out until there's a piece of chicken that's.
- [37:38]
B
Right at the end. He's got the phone coming out, right? Yeah, I think that'd be tough.
- [37:44]
A
Yeah. Dude, that flooding stuff makes me so sad. And it doesn't seem like there's much you can do. You can donate. Right. Like, I reached out to a couple of friends to find ways to like, do a type of event or something because it looks like it's really bad.
- [37:56]
B
Yeah, yeah, they got. It came in hard. Came to the coast, the other side too. Right.
- [38:01]
A
It came in Asheville, North Carolina. I mean, look how beautiful that area is too. Yeah, man. And they had alligators too. Did you see those?
- [38:11]
B
I've seen an alligator.
- [38:12]
A
Yeah, you have. But did you see him at this.
- [38:14]
B
I haven't seen them there. No.
- [38:16]
A
Here we go. Alligator surprise.
- [38:17]
B
During, like, it's not bad enough now you're gonna have alligators rolling up to your porch.
- [38:22]
A
Yeah.
- [38:22]
B
Oh, that's tough, man. Wow.
- [38:31]
A
That's a damn gator, baby. Well, and they had two alligators at the mall, too. They found by like an arapastali or whatever.
- [38:40]
B
They make them into purses.
- [38:41]
A
I have no idea. But. But also, it's like, I guess alligators never the mall. You. If you're an animal, you never even get to go to the mall. So this is your one shot.
- [38:49]
B
Like, I'm Gonna go and see what's on the sail rack. I got these little arms. I gotta keep myself warm. The props to this guy for seeing. That's an alligator. I wouldn't have known that was an alligator. Right. That looks just like another piece of debris.
- [39:01]
A
I'd have just gone missing.
- [39:02]
B
Yeah, for sure.
- [39:03]
A
Yeah. An alligator at the mall. Like, do you have a really long medium? You know, I need.
- [39:07]
B
You gotta. You have a tailor. Because I'm gonna need it. Then they go into Lacoste and they think they get a discount. Like, my face is all over this place, man. Come on.
- [39:19]
A
Come on, guys.
- [39:21]
B
I did a.
- [39:21]
A
They can't even get up to the counter at, like, Panda Express, you know.
- [39:25]
B
Forgot his wallet. The car's got to go back.
- [39:27]
A
He forgot his wallet. But then he realizes that his tail's made out of one.
- [39:33]
B
See an alligator trying to get on the escalator? That'd be a good time. Wiggle it out. Takes. It takes up 16 steps. Yeah. Alligators are crazy.
- [39:42]
A
And we're joking, guys. Obviously, there's a lot of people that are struggling over there, but we're just trying to bring some laughter to it.
- [39:47]
B
For sure.
- [39:48]
A
That's the worst. Have you been involved in a big tr. Is like, a tragic environment like that, that, like, were. Did you guys. Were you guys in. In New York or. During 911?
- [39:56]
B
Yeah. Yeah. I live in Staten island during the time. But I was. You know, New York came together in a way that day there, for sure. Yeah. I think 911 is the closest I've come to some sort of tragedy like that. Yeah. It's always tough. But I. I do find always. And I. People always say this. You know, people come together when it's that, like. I find that so true. Don't you? About, like, human nature shines brightest when it's tragedy. When it's wrapped in tragedy, I think people just come together in a real way. Like, we gotta tackle this thing, you know?
- [40:26]
A
Yeah. Really help. Let me grill something. Let me help. I got a truck. I gotta.
- [40:30]
B
But even like you said, like, you could donate and all this stuff, I feel like people just really just, like, come and do stuff even if they're not there. You know what I mean? It's like, just. It's really cool that people do that and grill. It's cool I'll be able to grow for.
- [40:41]
A
Oh, yeah, let me get out there.
- [40:42]
B
Is that the thing, too? Like, it's always people send food. Right? Even, like, in a personal tragedy. Like, I remember when my. When my. My Father passed away, and they were like, people would send food to the house, and my mom was the one that cooked, and it was like. She's like, no, I still got this. But do you know how to, like, to pay the electric bill? So funny. But food is always such a thing of, like, we got to feed these people. Right. It's just the thing that people don't want people to have to worry about.
- [41:07]
A
Yeah, that's a good point.
- [41:08]
B
Yeah.
- [41:08]
A
Yeah. It is amazing that. The ways that people come together and help each other. Even like when you look at people donating or organs and stuff, you know?
- [41:15]
B
Oh, yeah. Are you an organ donor?
- [41:16]
A
Yep, I am, yeah. Yeah. I would definitely.
- [41:20]
B
I wouldn't do it to somebody. This is. These are not good.
- [41:22]
A
Really?
- [41:24]
B
This is a used car. This is. There's no lemon law. And it's like, we got you a kidney. And they're like, from who? Like, joke. I'm like, ah. Who else you got?
- [41:34]
A
Yeah, if you put it. If you. If you put your ear up to the kidney, they can hear myrrh. Just given what kidney, what to say.
- [41:40]
B
To the other kidney. Yeah, yeah. I think everything is just like. Like, I think if it's not my eyes, you don't want it. It's like, he's got a nice set of eyes. Give him his eyes.
- [41:48]
A
Get the eyes. Yeah, yeah.
- [41:50]
B
The organ donor thing is that's so selfless, too. But that's so smart if you think about it. Like, I mean, you're not gonna use them. What are you doing?
- [41:55]
A
Yeah, what are you gonna do? But then I think part of you wants to always feel whole. It's like, you want to be like, okay. I want to know that when I'm laying there dying, I'm still able to, like, chill or relax or think or whatever, Right?
- [42:06]
B
Because imagine that's the deal. Like you. That's how it all comes down to it. You're still thinking you're laying there and you don't realize it because we don't know what happens.
- [42:13]
A
You're just thinking that some guy just stole your leg in of a college you didn't go to.
- [42:20]
B
Get there. Yeah, it's crazy.
- [42:22]
A
That'd be pretty wild, man. Yeah. So with the new tour, will you go to? So now you have to start with building the new material and stuff.
- [42:31]
B
Yes, I got the new tour. Now let's get into it. It's been really fun. I head off for the summer to hang out with the fam and the kids and stuff, which is great. So I finished this In March, the Messing with People tour. And now this new one just started in September. And it's cool, it's real fun. You know, as a comic, it's. You're nervous about it, you're trying to build it and whatnot. But then when you get what your ideas are. I'm a storyteller, so I just like figure out what stories I want to tell. But I'd always talk about sitting alone. Like I was stuck with my thoughts so much where I was thinking about how you end up the person that you are. So my let's Get into it tour really is like, about how did you end up like this? Because I started as like a real. We were talking like a geeky kid. Like I used to make tests for my father, like open up the encyclopedias. He would come home and I would have a multiple choice exam from him after his 10 hour day trying, trying to sell life insurance door to door. I'd be like, pop quiz. Like, get out of here. You know, like that. And now I'm this. So I was always thinking about that. So I just like tell a lot of stories and think about your life and it's really, it's been really fun. I like this one a lot. I like this one. Yeah.
- [43:29]
A
Yeah. It's funny to see how you'll evolve too and like how your brain will start to think up things that are like a little bit more, you know, just more personal or, you know, like how you get out of just telling jokes and try to like share something, you know? Yeah, it's kind of fascinating, I think how that kind of works out.
- [43:46]
B
Do you feel like you share more? Well, I mean, you've talked, you talk so much. Right. You talk so much with the podcast and everything. Right. Do you feel like, do you think about after you. Because people get to know you in a real way on when you're. This is you talking. So do you feel like that you have people know you in a way different way than they would like 5 years ago if you were just doing standup, you know? Does this podcast open up a completely different part? Right.
- [44:09]
A
Yeah, I think so. Because we talk about a lot of. I mean, yeah, we. Because sometimes we talk about stuff that's personal or like, you know, I was kind of like a late bloomer, I think, in dealing with like a lot of stuff from when I was young. And so I didn't even know that I had still had to deal with, you know, I didn't even know what was going on. So I think I've learned about a lot of that stuff. Like even it's like in the past five years. And so we'll probably try to share kind of like candidly or sometimes you're talking and you just learn something as you're talking. So, like, things like that have happened a pretty good bit because a lot of times, times you get busy with work, and then one of the times that I would sit down and kind of be with myself was when I was podcasting. So you'd just be sitting there sharing and thinking, and then. Yeah. Sometimes you kind of get into some stuff that's pretty personal and then. Yeah. People will come up and say they, man, I could relate to this. Or.
- [44:57]
B
Yeah, that's a cool part. Right.
- [44:58]
A
Thanks for talking about this or that. You know that.
- [45:01]
B
Yeah, that's. That's what's really cool. Yeah. Too. But I've always been associated with a group, so. Right. So for the past four years is now just me by myself. So it's a little different where. Where you're not, you know, your opinions are like your own or your feelings are like your own or whatever. You're not like lumped into a category of just what everybody and you get to. They get to know me. People who started with fans of, like, jokers are like, fans of me, which is. It's really. It's a cool evolution. Which are. I really like. And you do that.
- [45:25]
A
Was it hard to make that? Was it hard to, like, were there moments where it was like, man, it's tough to do my own thing or. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [45:33]
B
I think the. Well, you're part of such a great legacy. I like being part.
- [45:37]
A
It's like playing with three Tom Brady's and then now you're like, I'm gonna go be my own Tom Brady.
- [45:44]
B
I'll play flag football. I'll see how I can do. But I think it's the best part about. It was like, I was part of that. And I don't shy away from that because you find people, like, when they talk to you, like, oh, you know, I love Jon and they're like, afraid to talk to me about jokers, but I'm like, that's my, like, I mean, I'm so proud of that. You know, it was a decade of my life, 300 episodes. Like, it's not something. Something that I shy away from. And even in, like, my standup, the show, I was me. So if you watch the show and liked me, you're gonna like me when you see me, because it's the same Guy. I wasn't being a character. I wasn't playing an actor. So there's just like some benefits to it, which is cool. And it's part of my personality.
- [46:15]
A
Yeah.
- [46:16]
B
You know, so I don't mind it. But it is cool to be able to try different things, you know, Like, I want to write a kid's book. I wrote a kid's book. I wanted to do the standup thing, you know, I've been. Always wanted to be a filmmaker. So I've got some scripts, like, and I never had time. Time for any of that stuff.
- [46:28]
A
Right. That's cool. Is this their last season, is it?
- [46:32]
B
I think they are. They're going to go back into production to finish their last season as of now. But you never know. I think they'll. They might get renewed again. I don't know.
- [46:40]
A
Yeah.
- [46:41]
B
But I think they'll let them go till they don't want to anymore. Yeah. You know.
- [46:45]
A
Yeah.
- [46:46]
B
It's like, it's. It's just so good. Like, why?
- [46:48]
A
Oh, yeah. I mean, some of my first fans were you guys fans, you know, from going on the Journey, Joker's cruise and getting to meet people on there and then like. Yeah, fans that we'd have for years, you know, and that still are.
- [46:58]
B
Yeah.
- [46:58]
A
So thank you, man.
- [46:59]
B
You got it, man. You're a loyal fandom. They really are.
- [47:01]
A
It's cool, dude.
- [47:02]
B
Yeah, I get them come out to the shows. It's funny too because you see them, they see me by myself now and they're like, wow, you really funny. I'm like, thanks. Like, are you expecting me not to be like. Yeah, but it's interesting for people to see you in stand up. It's a totally different world by yourself. 60 Minutes talking.
- [47:15]
A
Oh, yeah.
- [47:16]
B
Dude, that was the biggest thing for me, not being on stage with other people.
- [47:19]
A
Oh, yeah, huh? You're like. You just like. Yeah. You take it for a second and there's nobody there.
- [47:25]
B
Like, just look.
- [47:27]
A
And sometimes people make you the craziest thing. Dude, this. Somebody made me this. They brought this this weekend. It's a real taxidermy rat.
- [47:36]
B
That is the record that is if.
- [47:38]
A
You open it up. Smith's very real. It was real.
- [47:41]
B
Yeah, at one point. That is. That's super cool, man. Man.
- [47:44]
A
Pretty cool, man.
- [47:45]
B
I got somebody who made me. It was very interesting. He made me and him this weekend. He made me. He made us Funko Pops and. But he made himself as well. And it was me with one of my biggest fan. He made himself and we're both holding Teddy bears, because my new kids book. Where's Barry? And he's like, hey, you don't have one of you with the bear. And I was like, how'd you know I had any? I was like in my Funko Pops and it was just like. Yeah, he made me see there's a Captain Fat Belly one there for me in the show that I had pretty famously. And he made me one, but he made one of himself and he gave me a two pack and he's like, now we could be together. We can be best friends. I'm like, all right. Yeah, but it was so cool. I love that.
- [48:19]
A
Yeah, that's funny, man. Yeah, it's funny. All the things, like just little things that people make that are like you talked about on a show or like moments that affected them or something like that, you know, it's pretty cool. But even like you're saying it's like when people get together, there's a sense of, you know, when people want to do something for one another, you know, like when people want to help out, whether it's a, a storm, whatever it is, you know.
- [48:40]
B
Yeah, for sure.
- [48:41]
A
People want to like kind of latch in, you know?
- [48:43]
B
Yeah.
- [48:43]
A
But yeah, they gave me that rat baby and that thing that is.
- [48:47]
B
That is insane to think first of all to think of it, then execute that. That's really cool.
- [48:52]
A
And if you can't see it at home, it is a. It's in a little like a little cot.
- [48:56]
B
Like a protective aquarium.
- [48:58]
A
Yeah, yeah, like a small like 8 inch diameter round aquarium that's about a foot high.
- [49:05]
B
Imagine like the brain that they kept for Frankenstein. They had that jar, the same thing.
- [49:08]
A
So it's got a rat and it's got a rat in it. And he's wearing like a fancy gown. He has a scepter, has some flowers. Dude, in New York they just put out they have a rat problem there. Yeah, you know, you're welcome. That's what they get. That's what they get for being know it all, dude. I'll send more.
- [49:28]
B
You'll send what? You think you got it under control.
- [49:30]
A
Look out here come more, I'll send more. So now they're trying a new tactic against me. The war on rats could soon shift from trash to a new target. Procreation. Rat birth control could soon roll out in New York City.
- [49:42]
B
Little rat condoms. Yeah, give me a minute, honey. Ladies.
- [49:48]
A
She's like, you got a dick like a mouse.
- [49:50]
B
He's like, shut up.
- [49:52]
A
I'm a rat.
- [49:53]
B
I'm a rat.
- [49:54]
A
New York City council on Thursday will vote on a bill that would introduce rat contraceptives to the city's rodent fighting ar. If the bill passes, city officials will choose two rat ridden zones to place the contraceptives and then monitor whether they reduce rat activity.
- [50:09]
B
How did you do that?
- [50:11]
A
The pilot program.
- [50:12]
B
Perverts setting up some voyage going on.
- [50:17]
A
It's just right outside of the Kraft cheese plant. The pilot program will last 12 months. Dude. Unbelievable. And now rats are going to be hearing that other rats are on birth control and go over there and trying to smash.
- [50:30]
B
Yeah. They're going to be like, yeah, it's no, no risk. Rat smashing. It's insane. Like I've walked down certain parts of the city and you just. It looks like the sidewalks moving. It's insane. There's just, just moving. It looks like an ocean. Like there's just like waves of. It's crazy.
- [50:48]
A
It's beautiful.
- [50:49]
B
Yeah.
- [50:50]
A
The build of Flacco's law is focusing on mitigating the risk of rodent side rodenticides. Rodenticides on other animal populations. Like birds. So what does that mean?
- [51:00]
B
Well, the birds are gonna be the bird. It has a reverse effect on birds. It's like Viagra. So the pigeons are just gonna be pounding away. Yeah. Because how do you know what's gonna eat it? Right. Because if it's just on the floor, like birds are gonna eat it. Right. Pigeons eat the same stuff rats do.
- [51:16]
A
Oh. So they can't poison them because they said other animals will eat them in those animals. Like if owls, it says.
- [51:21]
B
Oh, gotcha.
- [51:22]
A
So that way they can't poison them. So they have to try this. They have to try birth control. Unreal. Dude.
- [51:27]
B
They don't want to get rid of the owls.
- [51:28]
A
Yeah. Now they're going to be on. So now big pharma is basically animals are on. Is your animal in any drugs?
- [51:38]
B
No, no. She's. She's free and clear. We have some animals at home, the older ones that are on some sort of things and whatnot.
- [51:43]
A
And what do they get on blood thinners or whatever they give them.
- [51:46]
B
Depends what they have. Trazodone's a big one for dogs if they're nervous. Like a lot of dogs that. We have a couple dogs that get nervous. Tornado, thunderstorms and whatnot. It's like a calming thing. You could give it to them before they fly. She doesn't eat it. She's good. But like some dogs with trazodone is like a big one. They get that trazzy in Them I'll.
- [51:59]
A
Pop a little trazodone, dude.
- [52:01]
B
You get a little nervous. Yeah, just take some trazzy, man. They just all. It's so funny because they get it like, dehydrates them too. So they'll just be like laying there panting with their eyes half closed. And like, you clearly see. Yeah, that's. That's a big one for them. But they get some kidney medicines. The old one. All my old ones, it's just. So I have. So my rescue is all senior dogs. So I get them when they're all jacked up.
- [52:21]
A
Really?
- [52:22]
B
Yeah. So it's like.
- [52:22]
A
You ever get any of the ones that are in the wheelchair? Little chariots?
- [52:25]
B
Yeah, I got a couple Roman soldiers. Yeah, yeah, we said they're gonna live. Like, no, no, we're gonna. We're gonna make it. We had a couple of those. Yeah.
- [52:32]
A
Thumbs up.
- [52:33]
B
Yeah. So that's. Yeah, like Michigan. That was my first senior. The one on the fourth there. The one.
- [52:38]
A
One more.
- [52:38]
B
Yeah, that one. So that was my first senior dog and had no teeth that tongue hung out. That dog's not on that Japanese pill. That's just how it lives.
- [52:45]
A
Yeah, sure.
- [52:45]
B
Yeah.
- [52:46]
A
Looks like Biden, dude. That one. A little.
- [52:48]
B
A little bit. Yeah. So he. That's what was our first senior. But now we get these seniors and they were all jacked up and.
- [52:54]
A
And where do you get them? Do you go meet somebody? Do you guys meet at like a Howard Johnson's or something like that? How do you pick them up?
- [52:59]
B
Panera? Yeah, Grab some lunch. We get them from kill shelters in New York sometimes. Or we get owner surrenders. A lot of them have. When they're this old, like older people die and nobody could take care of the dog. It's like, you know, it's this. They've had this dog. So the dog is like 12, 13 years old. And they're like, could you take it? So we do a lot of owner surrender work we try to find new homes from.
- [53:21]
A
And your wife likes taking care of them too?
- [53:22]
B
Loves it. Yeah, she does her thing. She started. Really started it.
- [53:25]
A
Oh, really?
- [53:26]
B
That's her day to day kind of thing. She like runs. Runs it all. And, you know, we have come together to work it out now that it's our thing, which is fun, you know.
- [53:34]
A
And do y'all pet every dog every day, you think?
- [53:36]
B
We have volunteers too, that come in, pet them. They come pet them to come play with them. We have an adoption center in town where people come through. Yeah, right there. That's the adoption center we just opened up last year and people could come through and hang out with the dogs and pet them a little bit.
- [53:49]
A
Oh, yeah, yeah.
- [53:49]
B
If you ever want to see these. Yeah. These are some of our VIPs right here. So if you ever want to come through and pet a dog when you're in New York, buddy, I got you.
- [53:55]
A
Oh, I'll come one. I'll. I'll rub one out.
- [53:58]
B
They're fun, man.
- [53:59]
A
I mean, I'll pet the dog.
- [54:00]
B
No, well, no, we heard you.
- [54:02]
A
That's insane.
- [54:05]
B
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- [54:16]
A
You need to know in the business world.
- [54:18]
B
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A
Planning, and effective communication.
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B
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- [54:36]
A
Pornography causing a problem in your life? Do you find yourself watching porno for longer periods of time and having trouble stopping? Is porn affecting your relationship or dating life? Well, you're certainly not alone. Watching pornography has become so commonplace today and oftentimes men use porn to numb the pain of loneliness, boredom, anxiety and depression. Shame and stigma prevent men from talking about these issues and getting help for them. I want to introduce you to my friend Steve. Steve is the founder of Valor Recovery, a program to help men overcome porn abuse and sexual compulsivity. Steve is a long term Sexual Recovery member and has personally overcame the emotional and spiritual despair of abusing pornography and has dedicated his life life to empowering men to do the same. Steve is an amazing person and he is a close friend of mine. I mean that. Valor Recovery helps men to develop the tools necessary to have a healthier sex life. Their coaches are in long term recovery and will be your partner, mentor and spiritual guide to transcend these problematic behaviors. To learn more about Valor Recovery, please visit them them at ww valor recoverycoaching.com or email them at admin@valor recoverycoaching.com thank you. Dude, I remember the first time I ever saw a dog inside somebody's house, right? I was at my buddy Scott's house and they had a golden retriever came around the corner in his house, dude. And it was beautiful. It was one of like the. It had the most beautiful hair I'd ever seen on a man or woman or anything. That was it. But it was long haired.
- [56:31]
B
Yeah.
- [56:31]
A
Google long haired golden retrievers.
- [56:34]
B
Oh, like the wisps like it. Yeah, like it goes back when they, when they run. It bounces like those things. Yeah, Yep.
- [56:40]
A
It was like, it had like, it looked like Pam Anderson. Dude, it came out. Yeah. I was like just shaking its hair off. The droplets slowly flying off like damn.
- [56:51]
B
So you must have been inside the home. You're like, what the hell are they lost?
- [56:54]
A
I couldn't believe what was going on. I was like, where. How did this, what is this? First of all, this really beautiful pony. I thought it was, it was pretty big. And then how did they get it inside? Because in our neighborhood it was just dogs outdoors biting, you know, just like ruining your birthday because you had to get stitches or something.
- [57:12]
B
My next door neighbor had. So we had a little mutt, Midnight. Her name, when she was a mix between schnauzer, whatever and then my next door neighbors had a full Doberman pinscher. Her name was Ninja. And they kept her, they had to keep her outside. So she had an outdoor pen. And my dog was like, would go under the fence and they would like hang out and he was like afraid. Like there was this huge like. Yeah, like that, like one of those big, you know, like in the movies. Those big like German looking. Yeah, like those dogs. Right. Like big scare. And I had this little mutt and they would just hang out. It was the oddest couple. And they hung out, but they had to keep that dog outside. They didn't bring him inside. So when Jason came over my house and my dog was inside, he's like, oh, you get to play with it like on the couch. He's like, this is so weird because he played with his in the dirt like in the backyard, you know.
- [57:57]
A
Wow, dude. Yeah. I guess having that much dogs brings you a lot of joy. The other day I was sitting at a meeting and somebody's dog came up and I. Even when I petted it. It makes you feel good.
- [58:06]
B
Yeah, yeah, it's great. For sure. You don't, you don't have a dog?
- [58:09]
A
No, I'm going to get one as soon as I get. I think after this year. Coming up late in the year, I'll kind of take a break from touring for a while and then.
- [58:16]
B
Yeah, that's it.
- [58:17]
A
Get a nice pet you need.
- [58:18]
B
If you want a messed up one eyed one, you call your boy. Yeah, I'll take care of you. Yeah, I got some.
- [58:22]
A
And what are some of the tougher things about? Deal. Oh. Research has shown that simply petting a dog lowers the stress Hormone cortisol.
- [58:28]
B
That's for true. That's true. When I have her on the road with me, I sleep so much better.
- [58:32]
A
Really?
- [58:32]
B
Yeah. For sure. They said a new study just came out that I had just seen too, that it was if a dog. Hearing a dog breathe with you is like, kind of lowers your. Makes you go into a deeper REM cycle. Yeah. Which is cool. And I have eight dogs that sleep in my bed, so I'm in a coma.
- [58:48]
A
Wow, bro, you over like Joe od?
- [58:52]
B
Yeah.
- [58:52]
A
Yeah. I get.
- [58:53]
B
I get like three hours sleep, and I'm set for like two weeks.
- [58:57]
A
Wow. Yeah. They have a lot of people. Oh. Benefits of sleeping with your dog. Decreased sleep so you don't have to sleep as much. Eases insomnia. Amnia. Comfort.
- [59:06]
B
Yeah.
- [59:07]
A
Promotes theta brain waves. Wow.
- [59:10]
B
I get them thetas up.
- [59:11]
A
Do you? Yeah, yeah. Rush theta. And then lowers blood pressure. Sense of security.
- [59:17]
B
Yeah.
- [59:19]
A
Warmth. Come on. Now they're just.
- [59:21]
B
Now they're just thrown in buzzwords. It's like you decrease as lonely as this. Yeah. Because you're not alone. You can sleep with. A cat knows to decrease loneliness. That's nothing to do with a dog.
- [59:30]
A
Ah, that's beautiful, dude. Yeah. I wouldn't like to get me a couple puffs and do like a little Iditarod or something. That's something I'd always love to do.
- [59:36]
B
And I did a rod with dogs.
- [59:37]
A
Is being the Iditarod man.
- [59:39]
B
Yeah.
- [59:39]
A
Because there's a parade, I think, the day before the Iditarod. Look up Iditarod parades if you can. And all the dogs go through the town or whatever, and you get to see them all.
- [59:51]
B
That's cool. Yeah.
- [59:53]
A
And look at the ones with those blue shoes on. That's mine.
- [59:55]
B
Those are fancy. Yeah. I think they're sponsored by Nike or something.
- [59:58]
A
Oh, I'd have them. I'd have mine in some Yeezys out there, homie. You know what I'm saying?
- [60:03]
B
My. When we used to have the dog of the city, we used to put these little balloons on their feet because the city's gross, you know? And then you have these dogs, and they. And their paws are, like, porous, you know? So we. My dog used to walk around these little balloon shoes. They're literally like. Yeah, those. That's them. Exactly.
- [60:17]
A
Oh, that's it. Oh, look at those. What? Those fresh Paul belugas. Look at those right there. The third pitcher. Yeah, right there.
- [60:23]
B
That's it. Right.
- [60:24]
A
Let's zoom up on that a little bit.
- [60:26]
B
Something to those guys.
- [60:29]
A
Wow. New York Fashion Week.
- [60:30]
B
Oh, they did Yeezy inspired sneakers for dogs. Wow.
- [60:33]
A
Unreal. Some people have too much frickin money.
- [60:35]
B
Too much money. Yeah, yeah.
- [60:37]
A
We just have Mark Cuban on here. That guy has a crazy amount of money. Some people are billionaires. Isn't that crazy?
- [60:41]
B
Dude, so nuts. That's so nuts.
- [60:43]
A
Can't even imagine. Like, yeah, what would. And then how do you even.
- [60:47]
B
5.7 billion. He's is what Google's telling us. That's. That's a lot of money.
- [60:51]
A
Well, you would think at some point you wouldn't need want to try and make any more money, right? Yes.
- [60:55]
B
Right. Yeah, but, but is it that like, you're just like so good at it that your money's making money?
- [61:00]
A
Right?
- [61:00]
B
Because people say, like, why wouldn't you stop? He's like, I did stop. I'm just. My money's making money. Like, what do you want me to do? You know, it's like out there, like Musk is like, you think he's out there being like, let me clock in. Like his money is just making money. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.
- [61:12]
A
It's not like he just like has to drive over to work in the morning.
- [61:15]
B
Bye, honey. I got to get to the office. Like, you are the office. You can do whatever you want. Yeah.
- [61:20]
A
Wow.
- [61:21]
B
Yeah, I think that's a big part of it. That's one of the problems. Well, I'll never have to worry about.
- [61:25]
A
Yeah, I think I felt like you think at a certain point you would just want to do helpful stuff and not make any more money. But then I guess if you want to do helpful stuff, you still have to keep making money to do it. Maybe that's part of the thing.
- [61:36]
B
Yeah, I think, I think Bill Gates talked about that right. When they were talking about like the Bill Gates foundation, whatever. And he was like, people are like, oh, you could just give all your money away. He's like, yeah, but what do I do when all my money's given away? I need to make money to give away the money. Like it's part of it all, you know, it's just cyclical. You got to keep putting money back in the bank to give it out.
- [61:51]
A
Yeah, yeah.
- [61:53]
B
You charitable fella?
- [61:55]
A
Yeah, I think so, man. Yeah, we do. So trying to start a foundation and start doing more charity stuff.
- [62:01]
B
Oh, cool.
- [62:02]
A
So did you ever do something like that?
- [62:03]
B
Yeah, well, I started my, for my, my, my nonprofit for the dog. It's like a real non profit. We last year. Last year we did it.
- [62:09]
A
Oh, sweet.
- [62:09]
B
So gather pops and friends, like a registered one now. So that. That was our thing. But I give to, like, we. We do a lot of analysis. Animal. Mostly animal stuff, I think I do. But I also work with a couple other foundations in New York. But I. I like it. But you get tapped a lot to be, like, the celebrity, like, at the events. Like, you have to. I've hosted so many, like, things like, you ended up hosting and, like, doing, you know, the charity drives, like the auctioneer and stuff like that, which is.
- [62:33]
A
Like Guam runners for Narcoleps or whatever. It's always crazy.
- [62:37]
B
You're like, you're trying to get out there and you have to auction off this, like, you know, this trip to Hawaii for these people. And you run around, like, auctioning, trying to pit people against each other. So it's fun. But I could see that being a cool. That's a cool part of it. I do a lot with Howard Stern, does the North Shore Animal League. That's. The big North Shore Animal League is on Long Island. It's a big dog foundation there, and they do their cat rescue with them. So I've done a couple events with the dog with them. And it's so funny just to be at these big events. Yeah, that's.
- [63:05]
A
Oh, yeah.
- [63:05]
B
And they're.
- [63:06]
A
And see as many dogs as you can.
- [63:07]
B
So many. Yeah. I try not to take them home.
- [63:10]
A
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I think I have a goal. I want to, like, start, like, I want to. Well, we want to like, make, like, kind of like a half house, but I don't know what it's going to be for really. Like an addiction place, you know? So we started a group that meets online on. On Tuesday afternoons. That's a zoom meeting. And it's like. Like intimacy disorder, sex and love addiction, all kind of stuff like that. But then it's on.
- [63:38]
B
It meets online. Online.
- [63:39]
A
Yeah.
- [63:39]
B
Once a week.
- [63:40]
A
Yeah. That's pretty good. And then, I mean, it's awesome. What am I saying? It's pretty good. It's cool. You see guys start to turn their lives around and stuff.
- [63:46]
B
That is awesome.
- [63:47]
A
Yeah. But then we want to get, like, eventually make, like, a center, you know? But we'll see. One step at a time.
- [63:53]
B
For sure. For sure. Like, right now, all the dogs live my. Like, at my house. Like, I want to eventually have, like, a place. Yeah, I want to. It's definitely like a Motel 6 bed and breakfast.
- [64:03]
A
Dude, take over that one in Seattle. Did you see that? There's a. Somebody made a white house. Homeless people are just making their. Making Houses. They're like, literally, a lot of them aren't even homeless anymore. They're making houses, making their own homes just in parks. Yeah. Just like, okay, building. We're building a home. Yeah. Look at this guy. Built a freaking white house somewhere.
- [64:26]
B
Oh, my. Look at that.
- [64:28]
A
Near downtown Seattle. The Sodo white house. That's it.
- [64:34]
B
He built. He made that.
- [64:36]
A
Built a. With the fence and everything in there. So it's crazy that.
- [64:43]
B
Get out there and build it, and they will come, man. You just do it. You solve your own problem.
- [64:46]
A
This guy built his own. Look.
- [64:48]
B
He's like, stop filming my house. He came out to get the mail or something.
- [64:51]
A
It even has an address on it, number 12. Go back and look at it again.
- [64:55]
B
He gave himself his own. If he gets mail there, that'd be amazing. He's like, what? That is amazing.
- [65:02]
A
Yeah.
- [65:02]
B
That's pretty impressive, actually.
- [65:03]
A
Oh, it's unbelievable. A lot of stuff people are doing. There's so many great. A lot of homeless people are just taking on ways or like, they're. They're in between homeless and not homeless, you know, I'm saying. But they're finding, like, a way to make it work. I mean, there's people building all kinds of, like, small businesses and stuff. They're just out on the street. You know, there's a lot of.
- [65:21]
B
The barter ends up. Right. It's going back. It's taking, like, a step back inside that community where it's like, you know, help each other out.
- [65:26]
A
Yeah. I'll trade you soap for nails or whatever like that.
- [65:28]
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's getting human ones. No, I'm good. Even got some nails. I'm trying to build this white house.
- [65:35]
A
Yeah, that's changed a little bit.
- [65:37]
B
Yeah. But I. It's. It's interesting to see how that community.
- [65:39]
A
Like, starts sticking together.
- [65:41]
B
Yeah, the same thing, man. Yeah.
- [65:42]
A
Oh, yeah. Because you see how much people. They're usually, like, in big groups. Like, if you go down to, like, some of those areas, we. We're just in Vancouver and they have a street there. I can't remember the hatching or something. Hastings.
- [65:59]
B
Hastings. Yeah.
- [66:00]
A
And, man, we went down there at night, but they're still, like, all in group. Somebody's got the grill out, and somebody's like.
- [66:05]
B
It's like a tailgate.
- [66:05]
A
Somebody's a Jets fan or whatever, you know, and it's like.
- [66:08]
B
Yeah, yeah, But. Yeah, yeah.
- [66:10]
A
But it was just like, out there, everybody working together, somebody's cooking up a drug. Somebody's, you know, Know.
- [66:17]
B
Yeah. They're all There, that, that's, that's like a sense of like, people are busking, they're trying to make some money.
- [66:23]
A
You know, I. I watched somebody the other day play tears and having on a vacuum cleaner down there. So.
- [66:30]
B
It'S a real talent is what I'm saying. Get down to Hastings in Vancouver. You want the next Justin Bieber?
- [66:36]
A
You got a tear coming outta your eye and the carpet's clean. Dude, it's. How can you lose, bro?
- [66:41]
B
Can't lose.
- [66:42]
A
But that's what I'm saying. There's so much skill out there in a lot of these communities and they're working together, you know?
- [66:47]
B
Yeah.
- [66:47]
A
You want to cut the AC on a little bit? It's a little warm in here. Do you think or. No, you. Fine.
- [66:51]
B
I'll take some AC if you got it.
- [66:52]
A
Okay. I was in the ice bath.
- [66:55]
B
Oh, really?
- [66:56]
A
Earlier. Yeah, I was in an ice tub or something. Yeah, it gets. And then you're so cold, you don't know what's going on.
- [67:03]
B
How long do you do it for?
- [67:04]
A
I stand for 10 minutes.
- [67:05]
B
10?
- [67:06]
A
Yeah.
- [67:06]
B
I never done it. I did a cold plunge in a. In a spa one once and I was like, this is not for me. Yeah, but people love it.
- [67:15]
A
You're more that warm, boy.
- [67:16]
B
I'm more than one boy. I love a good sauna.
- [67:18]
A
Steam room at night. Do you sleep in bed with your dogs or not?
- [67:20]
B
Yeah, yeah, I got eight of them in the bed with us.
- [67:23]
A
Oh my God. Hold on. There has to be like an Amy's Law or something. What is it? There has to be some sort of.
- [67:31]
B
Yeah, this is. This is pretty close to it, actually. Yeah, those are my.
- [67:36]
A
And do they all. Do they get like.
- [67:38]
B
Oh, no, no. Spon is on this picture actually. There's. That's biscotti. My. My favorite. The top.
- [67:42]
A
Do they all have to pee at the same time? Kind of like a basketball team or whatever.
- [67:45]
B
They hold it. They hold it for 10 hours.
- [67:47]
A
Nuh.
- [67:47]
B
They go to. Yeah, they go to the bathroom at like 7:00. We take them out and then 5:30 they're up and we take them down. Wow.
- [67:53]
A
So 5:30 you got to take them down?
- [67:54]
B
Yeah.
- [67:55]
A
Wow.
- [67:55]
B
Yeah. Yeah.
- [67:56]
A
Even in the winter.
- [67:57]
B
That's why I sleep so good. I get that. Four hours. I'm ready to go, baby. Yeah. Even in the winter in the rain. Oh, the rain's rough when it rains. Rain's worse than winter in the rain. But we have a run so they could go and, you know, by themselves. I had to like walk Them, thank goodness. But, yeah, that's tough when it's in the rain. They don't want to go outside. Yeah. Yeah.
- [68:16]
A
What's. What's some. What's a crazy gift that somebody brought you guys one time? Did anybody get more of.
- [68:21]
B
It's the tattoos. Like, you get this, too, right? People tattoo themselves. I saw this. This woman just tattooing our faces on themselves and stuff. This woman on her upper thigh gave, like, the. A caricature version of the Joker. Like, of each of us, like, around her thigh. And it just said. And I was like, that's for life. Like, that's great. Like, that. You sign people. Like, they put their tattoos on you. That's crazy. I started doing this thing where I started. People asked me, oh, could you sign me so I. Could you make a tattoo? I said, can I just draw you something instead? I said, Cause I feel like that'd be weird. With, like, a paw. That's a heart. I was like, this is important to me. It'll be cool that you do that. So. But, yeah, like, see, this woman has her name all written on all of us.
- [68:57]
A
Wow.
- [68:57]
B
That's all of us. She finally got all of our signatures. Yeah, she got Sal, who held out. I think the last one was. I think she had to meet Q. I think it was. You could tell by the placement. Like, she met Sal early. Sal's right in the middle of the arm, you know. Yeah. Salvador. Sal's got the. Sal.
- [69:12]
A
Look at.
- [69:12]
B
Murray's always in the back, creeping. But, yeah, people, like, get our signatures a lot. But then people get, like, interpretive stuff, too, where they'll just be like a bowl of mashed potatoes. Of mashed potatoes. Like, look, I got scoops on me. I'm like, dude, like, thank you. I guess that's very odd. All because of a joke you made, you know, so that's really weird. But we've gotten, like. I get a lot of fan art of, like, drawings. Like, I see you notice you have some drawings and stuff, too. I get some drawings, and some of them are just, like, really, really well done. And it's like, wow. And then you just get some that are like. That's really bad.
- [69:44]
A
Oh, yeah. Like horrendous or interesting. A lady this week gave us a painting, and it had a rat and open vagina on it. The rat. It was very. Like a vaginatum or whatever. It was. Yeah. Something in heat or whatever.
- [69:59]
B
Yeah. Gotcha, gotcha. And, well, you gotta send that thing to New York. Solve that problem real quick.
- [70:04]
A
It was crazy. Dude, it was just like. It was a really neat painting too, but it was definitely wild, man. Yeah. I'll have to put the picture on the YouTube if we can. I don't even know if we can put it up.
- [70:16]
B
I had this woman who took a picture off my Instagram of me and my daughter. It was a jewel and she made a jeweled painting of it. So she used, like, jewels, just different colored jewels. And she made me and my son and my daughter.
- [70:27]
A
Oh, it's beautiful.
- [70:28]
B
And it was. I framed it and I put it in my office. It was really cool. I get some really cool stuff. My. It's so funny because they're so talented and I can't. Could you draw? I can't draw. I'm so unartistic. So I'm like, taken aback by. I'm like, wow, this is really, really nice. So.
- [70:40]
A
Oh, yeah. If our teacher tried to get me to draw, I'd accuse the teacher of touching me or something. Like, we're shutting this down.
- [70:46]
B
I didn't have. We had art history.
- [70:48]
A
Oh.
- [70:48]
B
Which is so. In high school. Like, we didn't even have, like, our art classes. Art history history, bro.
- [70:53]
A
Is there anything worse when you think it's going to be art dude, and it's art history dude. You get in there and you're like, where's the audit?
- [71:01]
B
Yeah.
- [71:02]
A
And they just give you a book about stone you gotta read.
- [71:07]
B
And you're just out here reading about art. Reading about art is the worst. It's the worst thing. Let me read about art instead of doing it.
- [71:16]
A
Yeah, dude. Even if when you're at the gallery or something, you see the little thing with the name. Name. Like, I'll read only like a third of that little card. That is a guy's name.
- [71:23]
B
It's like, tell me what his inspiration was.
- [71:25]
A
Oh, God.
- [71:27]
B
I do like. I do like going and sitting amongst art. I feel inspired by it. Yeah. I like taking a look, but I don't read the things about. I don't know anything about artists.
- [71:36]
A
Yeah. I don't know a lot. You know, I could pretend about some stuff, but I don't know that much of, you know, it's like. Yeah, some stuff. I know a little bit.
- [71:43]
B
Do you have any. Do you have any art?
- [71:45]
A
Yeah, I got a nice piece of art. Art. This lady.
- [71:48]
B
Tell me the history of it.
- [71:50]
A
Yeah, this lady is an artist out of Louisiana, and I saw her in Hawaii and I bought a piece of art that she had.
- [72:00]
B
Oh, that's cool.
- [72:00]
A
Yeah. Cor. Corkowski. Korpowski. Can you look it up. Korpowski. Laura Kropowski. Maybe Maui artist. L A U R. Ray.
- [72:15]
B
Koprowski. Wow.
- [72:16]
A
Yeah.
- [72:17]
B
Yeah.
- [72:17]
A
She has some really cool art, man.
- [72:20]
B
I like that. So you saw it at a gallery and you got him.
- [72:22]
A
Yeah, yeah, I got it. And it spoke to you, as they say. Yeah. It just makes me feel like. I don't know, you can feel when somebody puts something into something, you know?
- [72:31]
B
For sure.
- [72:32]
A
Yeah. Yeah. But she had some really neat things, and she was from Louisiana, and we met each other in Hawaii. And so I was like, oh, this is, like, cool sign, or whatever.
- [72:39]
B
Yeah, there's a. I did. I was in San Diego for Comic Con, and. Who's the guy that drew Bugs Bunny? Mel.
- [72:48]
A
Mel Blanc.
- [72:48]
B
Mel Blanc, right. So they did. They did. The old Warner Brothers lot used to have a Bugs Bunny stop sign. So Bugs Bunny would be standing there with a stop sign when you pulled into the lot, and he did 50 versions of it, and I bought one of those, but it's huge. It's a size of, like, this. So I actually mounted it inside a sliding door in my house.
- [73:09]
A
Oh, that's what stays in there.
- [73:10]
B
Yeah, it stays in there. I was like, that's a really cool thing. It's signed by him and stuff. He only made, like, 50 of them, and it wasn't that expensive. And then I went back a couple years later, this Comic Con again. The guy was like, you set up that Bugs Bunny, right? I said, yeah. And he's like, it had gone up, like, exponentially.
- [73:23]
A
No.
- [73:23]
B
And I was like, really? He's like, yes. So some things, like, I. I didn't get in for the game. I just love Bugs Bunny.
- [73:28]
A
Yeah.
- [73:28]
B
Grew up with it, you know? So I was like. I was like, oh, that's really cool. That actually, it is something. But now it's a door in my house. So, like, I can't. If I wanted to sell, I have to sell the door. Yeah, it's that stop sign right there. Bugs Bunny. Stop it a lot.
- [73:38]
A
Yeah, I remember seeing that on the shows a lot.
- [73:40]
B
That's it. Yeah. So Chuck Jones. That's it. Chuck Jones. Not Mel.
- [73:43]
A
Chuck Jones. I'm trying to think of other things that. Anything else. I got another piece of art. I don't know if it's a piece of art or whatever. It's just like, there's some other nice things that people have drawn us that. That are up in the studio in the. In Los Angeles. Yeah, some other stuff. Yeah. But, yeah, it's amazing, man. People, like, the other night, Two kids gave me these little bracelets that they made love that.
- [74:06]
B
Yeah, they make the bracelets stuff.
- [74:09]
A
Yeah, just like that bracelet culture.
- [74:10]
B
Because Taylor Swift, she did something right there with that. I mean, everybody's giving out bracelets. I love that. You get them all the time. So I get bracelets from the kids and I actually bring them home and my daughter loves them. My daughter will, like, keep it.
- [74:20]
A
Says, yeah, yeah, I have a. I have a pretty good collection or like different, like rocks or something. People give you rocks. But then somebody brought me their molars one time. They'd gotten taken out. Somebody brought me.
- [74:31]
B
What's the story behind For a reason or just wanted to give it to you?
- [74:35]
A
I can't even remember what it was. Yeah, I. Oh, it was crazy. People have brought me like a box that smelled so bad, dude opened it up and it just. There was nothing in it. And it just smelled horrible.
- [74:50]
B
Like it's hot soup water from Hawaii.
- [74:54]
A
Just. What?
- [74:55]
B
Yeah.
- [74:55]
A
You know, terrible.
- [74:56]
B
Yeah, I've gotten. I've gotten some like, weird stuff to. But a lot of people just like to bring me food.
- [75:01]
A
Yeah.
- [75:01]
B
Because I'm known for being like a sweet tooth kind of, you know, kind of guy. So I'll get paid. People bring me in canolies and like pastries and like donuts and stuff.
- [75:08]
A
That's awesome.
- [75:08]
B
You know, But I'll never eat. Like, I made you these cookies at home. I'm like, I'm not eating these. It's like in a Saran Wrap. Like, it's still like, greasy. I'm like, I'm good. Like, they're like, eat one. I'm like, I'll eat it later. Like, make sure you do. Yeah. Like, it's so weird. It's like tracking devices in it.
- [75:23]
A
Oh, I had a guy bring me 10 hits of LSD one time. He's like, I know you're server, but here's 10 hits of LSD. And I was like, so could go.
- [75:30]
B
Do you know how sober means any direct.
- [75:32]
A
This could go. This couldn't go. This could go poorly. But yeah, a lot of times just some super neat stuff. And yeah, it's crazy sometimes. And then just people like adding to your world of like, of your podcast or of your show, you know, or of you guys podcast or. Which is kind of fascinating. Yeah. What else is going on, dude? Oh, I saw that. The SpaceX, they're going to pick up the. Those. The astronauts that got stranded. You see that?
- [76:02]
B
Oh, I did not.
- [76:03]
A
So two astronauts got stranded. Right.
- [76:05]
B
Knew that part on the International Space station.
- [76:08]
A
And for the stranded astronauts, the arrival.
- [76:10]
B
Of their ride home perhaps an additional.
- [76:13]
A
Reason for Butch and Sunny to celebrate. The SpaceX rescue mission was launched from Florida with just two astronauts on board. The other two seats kept free for the extra passengers when it returns to Earth in February. It is a coup for the company, but an embarrassment for Boeing, which is still trying to work out why thrusters on its own Starliner capsule failed as it docked in June, leaving the test pilots marooned. Lots of cheering here in the room. There you go. So.
- [76:47]
B
So they called it. Called an Uber. They called an Uber. They're like, can you come get us?
- [76:53]
A
They called Uber X, dude. They. So, yeah, Elon, SpaceX is going to pick up these two stranded astronauts, bro. Imagine being just stranded out there.
- [77:04]
B
That's insane.
- [77:05]
A
Imagine you think you're going home, you're supposed to go home, and then they're like, no, it's going to be from June to February. It's going to be seven more months. Eight more months, dude.
- [77:14]
B
I mean, there's got to be nine more months. Nine months. They have enough. Do they have enough food? Packets of oatmeal, do they? They kind of have enough.
- [77:21]
A
I bet they pack, like, a head, but, like, surely seven, nine months more.
- [77:25]
B
Yeah, that's a full baby being born.
- [77:28]
A
And even the person who packed it up was probably like, they're not going.
- [77:30]
B
To be out there that long. Let's take some of this oatmeal home.
- [77:34]
A
100%.
- [77:36]
B
They don't need this much as oatmeal. Not.
- [77:38]
A
Yeah. You think they need 80 jars of applesauce?
- [77:41]
B
Give them 68. They'll never know the difference. Meanwhile, they're up there, like, licking the spoon. We just had 12 more jars.
- [77:50]
A
God, dude. But yeah, Elon's going to get him. I actually tweeted at him the other day to see if they would let me. I wanted to interview the. Oh, God.
- [77:59]
B
They sending Theo to go pick him up.
- [78:01]
A
Would you take that risk, you think, if they said you could go.
- [78:04]
B
No, definitely not. Definitely not.
- [78:06]
A
That's a big risk if I feel.
- [78:07]
B
Yeah, but that would be. That's a one in a bajillion thing. Nobody else would ever say they did that, you know, picked them up. Who'd they send? Did they send people that were equipped to do it, or was it.
- [78:17]
A
I don't know. I. Hopefully they sent Ben Affleck because.
- [78:20]
B
He'S working on the drill.
- [78:21]
A
Well, I think he could just.
- [78:22]
B
Him and Bruce Willis is what I want to send. Right. They. They got. They got that work. Work experience.
- [78:27]
A
Willis is already. He's out to space currently.
- [78:28]
B
I think he's true.
- [78:29]
A
He has dementia right now.
- [78:31]
B
Yeah.
- [78:31]
A
Which is basically free outer space, you know what I'm saying? He just there and I'm just joking. Bruce Willis, yes, but no. Sunita Williams and Barry Wilmore have been stranded on the ISS since June after the Boeing spacecraft suffered thruster failures. SpaceX rescue flight will not return until February.
- [78:49]
B
Oh, wait, it arrived already though.
- [78:51]
A
But arrived.
- [78:51]
B
So they already picked him up.
- [78:52]
A
No way.
- [78:53]
B
But arrived just after 10:30pm on Sunday.
- [78:55]
A
Oh, so they are there. That was really them picking them up.
- [78:58]
B
They're in today. They're in, but the ride back they're gonna. They're hitting some truck traffic. It looks like the ways map is telling them that they're going to be hitting some traffic.
- [79:07]
A
Okay.
- [79:07]
B
So they got them so halfway there.
- [79:09]
A
So coming back must take so much longer than.
- [79:12]
B
Yeah, yeah. How'd they get there so quick? That doesn't make sense. I guess.
- [79:17]
A
So let me see.
- [79:18]
B
When did they leave to go get them?
- [79:20]
A
NASA confirmed in August that the two will return to Earth and will not return until 2025, with SpaceX now in charge of rescuing the astronauts on a crew Dragon.
- [79:28]
B
But what, what's the plan if they don't send SpaceX, what's the plan? How do they get these guys home? They put their homes out the side. A crew situation like, come on, stroke, stroke to the river, right? What is the plan? What is Boeing's plan?
- [79:45]
A
Oh, that's crazy.
- [79:46]
B
If Elon doesn't bail him out like that.
- [79:48]
A
That's crazy that there's a late. Yeah, but everybody's flights are getting delayed now. That's the crazy thing.
- [79:52]
B
It's like you're equating a Southern Southwest flight being delayed.
- [79:57]
A
It's still a flight.
- [79:59]
B
It's true. I guess. I guess I favor.
- [80:01]
A
Everybody's having trouble, dude.
- [80:03]
B
Nobody's above it, man. Yeah, we're all just human at the end of the day.
- [80:09]
A
But yeah, I wanted to get to interview the two astronauts, podcast with them.
- [80:12]
B
Yeah, but they'll come. You think so?
- [80:16]
A
I mean it would be interesting.
- [80:17]
B
Yeah. If they're fans. Yeah, sure.
- [80:19]
A
If they're just. They don't have anything. If they don't have anything. Anything to do also, you know, I.
- [80:23]
B
Mean their job's done. They never have to work a day again in their life. Right. They're done. They get some sort of pension. You kidding? Your name a bigger hero. You went and saved two people from space. That's. That's a movie plot, a real life movie plot.
- [80:37]
A
But that's working for NASA. That's working for the government, man. Dude, you work at the post office, they barely give you a fucking. You know.
- [80:43]
B
Some guy who's guy was stalled over on McDougall. I couldn't pick him up for three weeks. Where's Jim? Always. Car broke down on McDougal. We'll see him in March.
- [80:55]
A
Yeah, so let's don't put it past the government. First of all, if the government said, hey, I want to take you and a buddy to space, I'd be like, fuck no, dude. You guys can't even decide on a correct price of stamps.
- [81:07]
B
Dude, all, all expense paid. You guys are going to space. Thanks.
- [81:11]
A
I'm like, dear girl, no, but everything's become privatized now. That's just how everything is, you know?
- [81:17]
B
Yeah. Yeah. Even rescue missions apparently. Yeah, yeah. It's crazy.
- [81:21]
A
It's like it used to be everything was kind of like the public, things were rocking, you know, and then now it's like not.
- [81:27]
B
They just go home.
- [81:28]
A
It used to be the post system, now it's Amazon. You know, it's just like everything's kind of.
- [81:32]
B
Yeah.
- [81:33]
A
Or a lot of things have become more that way.
- [81:36]
B
Hmm.
- [81:38]
A
What else is going on with you, man? Sorry, I feel kind of tired today. I seem tired?
- [81:41]
B
No, you're doing great.
- [81:42]
A
Really?
- [81:42]
B
Am I boring?
- [81:43]
A
No.
- [81:44]
B
Good.
- [81:45]
A
You're doing great, dude. I've been trying to fast a lot and so I think it's slowing my energy down.
- [81:50]
B
Yeah, you look good though.
- [81:51]
A
I feel pretty good.
- [81:52]
B
Where are you in your weight when your weight loss journey or your weight gain journey? Are you like trying to do something?
- [81:57]
A
No, I've just been trying to fast just to like see if it helps my brain get like more like sharp. Yeah, just sharp and just like they say it can like reduce inflammation and stuff like that.
- [82:06]
B
Gotcha. Yeah.
- [82:07]
A
But then you find yourself like suddenly you can't think or anything, right?
- [82:10]
B
Get cloud. Cloudy.
- [82:11]
A
Yeah, but maybe it's just part of the process.
- [82:13]
B
Do you, do you do. Do you drink caffeine? Do you drink like coffee and stuff or.
- [82:16]
A
No, I've been off of it for a little bit.
- [82:18]
B
Yeah. Yeah. So I do a cup of coffee.
- [82:20]
A
You do?
- [82:21]
B
Yeah, I do coffee. I. I had a cup before I came here. That's why I'm so bright eyed. I normally have one early in the. Earlier in the morning, but I didn't get get one. I was, I was kind of late getting it, but I got one in the afternoon. And I realized, like, it woke me up a little bit. So it's good? Yeah.
- [82:35]
A
Oh, yeah, dude. One time I took 30 days off a coffee, man, and I felt wide awake, dude.
- [82:39]
B
Did you?
- [82:40]
A
Yeah, I felt like rocking, bro.
- [82:43]
B
Really? Yeah, I. I think for sure. Like, I also like the taste of it. There's some people that don't even like the taste of it, but I enjoy a cup of coffee. Yeah, there's something like, oh, I need my coffee when I wake up, because it's got to wake me up. I never drink it to wake me up. I drink it just because I wanted to. Like, I enjoy a cup of coffee, a nice warm beverage. Yeah, it's nice, you know?
- [83:01]
A
Yeah, there's something nice about it. Something kind of romantic about it.
- [83:03]
B
A little bit by the fire. Cozy up.
- [83:08]
A
What else is happening, dude? What else is going on, Joe?
- [83:11]
B
I got lots, man. You know, I got my kids. Book came out. Whereas Barry is really fun.
- [83:15]
A
Yeah. And what's it about?
- [83:16]
B
So you didn't.
- [83:17]
A
You had another kid's book? A few years ago, I had a book, a cookbook.
- [83:21]
B
It was a photo book.
- [83:22]
A
Photo book.
- [83:23]
B
The dog father, my love of dogs, desserts, and growing up Italian.
- [83:26]
A
Yeah.
- [83:27]
B
And I was during COVID I had taken pictures of my dogs because I'm a photographer, amateur photography. And I had done a bunch. But my Where's Barry? Book just came out, and it's like a legit book, which is cool. Got published by Penguin.
- [83:38]
A
No way, dude. Congratulations.
- [83:41]
B
And that's Spumoni's actually in the book, too. But that's my son and my childhood bear. He animated for me, so that's really cool to see that happen, you know?
- [83:50]
A
And what happens with Barry? What's he dealing with? What is it?
- [83:53]
B
So my son in it, Remo, he lost his bearing. It's bedtime. So he's having a little bit of a meltdown, and that's like the worst catastrophe for any parent. So he has to go find it. But in reality, it's based on a story. My son is beside himself at night, and he's like, I can't find any. Blah, blah, blah. And I was like, all right, well, where'd you put it? And I had to teach him how to calm down and trace your steps. But he was decided in real life to play hide and seek with it. And he hid it under a pot in the kitchen in a cabinet. I never would have found it, ever. So I had to calm him down, and he went and found it. So I wrote this book up and I sent it over, and the guy that did it, Luke Flowers, is awesome. He's a huge joker's fan. He put a bunch of jokers, like Easter eggs in it, which is really cool when I got the first things. But it's a really good book. I mean, I like being a part of bedtime. I think it's pretty fun. You know, I read it to my kids, my kid, my son. I went to their school, got to read it to the school, which was fun. Yeah. So my. My son's like. He's like, I'm in a book. You know, it's really cool.
- [84:46]
A
Was he excited when his dad came to school or not?
- [84:48]
B
Yeah, yeah, he's super excited when they love when I get to come to school and do stuff. But they come on the road with me too, which is cool. They're gonna come on the road with me next week, actually. They're gonna be. In two weeks, they'll be with me and they're gonna come hang out on the road, which I love. I love to get to take them out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fun. They, you know, they love coming on stage at the end and bowing like they did at the end of the special. It's really fun. But they just like to be like room service. You know, it's like, can we get pancakes? Like, you know, it's like. Feels like a king, which is fun. They get to see these towns, which I like too. They get to go to different places, you know, I like to not be, you know, sheltered. I want them to see the world and stuff.
- [85:24]
A
Yeah. We were just in Milwaukee. Milwaukee was a really amazing city that I didn't know it was like that.
- [85:30]
B
Oh, yeah. Milwaukee is great, bro.
- [85:31]
A
I had no idea. And then there was another city that we were just in.
- [85:36]
B
Springfield, Missouri.
- [85:37]
A
Springfield, Missouri.
- [85:38]
B
Yeah.
- [85:39]
A
Yeah.
- [85:39]
B
It's a sleeper.
- [85:40]
A
Yeah.
- [85:41]
B
Yeah. It's funny.
- [85:42]
A
Yeah. And yeah, I don't even. Where else. Jesus.
- [85:46]
B
Yeah, but it's not. That's like my favorite part about it is like, when you go to these little towns. Two years ago, I wanted to perform live comedy. I want to perform live in all 50 states. So I did it. I got. I checked off all of them. My last one was Fargo, North Dakota. You ever been through there? Yeah. What's a cool. Such a cool little town, you know? And then you get to all these little towns. I love that about going down Main street, you see all their little stores.
- [86:08]
A
Oh, yeah. Little mom and pops.
- [86:09]
B
Every store, every street's got like a candles and, you know, kind of store and they got their coffees. You just walk around. I love that. That's so cool.
- [86:16]
A
Yeah, that is awesome. Oh, yeah. Just a simple fact of getting to see certain places, man. Like we got to go through like eastern Oregon. And that was just.
- [86:25]
B
Do you ever do the coast drive? Did you ever do that drive on like the Pacific Coast Highway?
- [86:28]
A
I've never done it.
- [86:29]
B
Oh, no. Yeah, that's really fun.
- [86:30]
A
Oh, wait, I've done it down by California, but I've never done it all the way up.
- [86:33]
B
Yeah, so my wife, when she was. When I. She was still my girlfriend, I picked her up. She lived in. Off near Seattle, this town in Seattle. So we took her from Seattle and I drove her down to her parents in San Francisco. So that was such a pretty drive. And then when I lived in la, I never did it all the way, but I've connected each piece, you know. But it's really cool. It's. It's like movie sets. It's unreal, you know, it's pictures of it. That's so pretty.
- [86:53]
A
Yeah. America is a beautiful country, man.
- [86:54]
B
Yeah.
- [86:54]
A
There's so many cool spots. Yeah, we just saw some Mennonites too. We were in Little Rock, I think, and they. We saw some Mennonites outside of there. Bring up a Mennonite. There you go.
- [87:07]
B
Was it creepy?
- [87:08]
A
No, they were cool. It was just.
- [87:09]
B
Did you see them at night? No, they disappear. Right. I don't know what they're up to.
- [87:14]
A
At night, but we saw some. Yeah. Lit up ones. We saw some daytime ones.
- [87:19]
B
Daytime men and nights. Yeah, it's my favorite type of midnight. That's kind of creepy. Yeah, that's like a. That's like a major, like, trope in horror films. Right? It's like that type of life.
- [87:30]
A
Yeah.
- [87:31]
B
Yeah. That's crazy. I could never do that.
- [87:34]
A
What are people feeling? Is there a lot of. Do you see a lot of political stuff up in Staten Island? Is it like a long island?
- [87:40]
B
Yeah, not really. I mean, I feel like it's polarized everywhere.
- [87:44]
A
Yeah.
- [87:44]
B
You know, but I kind of steer clear of that stuff. I don't. I don't really try to put my opinions on people because I don't know much about anything, you know, their own thing. Do you find yourself getting in the mix a lot?
- [87:56]
A
No, I think so. Like, it's like. It's hard for me to talk. Think about it and talk about it at the same time sometimes. It's like. And I don't know when to like, kind of put my thoughts in. Like this year we started having just different people on. Like, like we had some politicians on and then we had like, like even last week we had Mark Cuban on and we talked about some political stuff. But sometimes it's hard for me to like, think and just share what I want at the same time. You know, just some of those conversations, it's not as fun, you know, it's just. It's not as fun.
- [88:26]
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [88:27]
A
And then you.
- [88:28]
B
People don't really talk about politics, you know, because it's like. Yeah, it's a divisive in nature. Yeah, you got to pick a side.
- [88:33]
A
So, yeah, you want to be respectful too, of what somebody thinks. But at the same time, sometimes it's like you don't want to get into like a rebuttal and then it's like, you know, so it's just some of. That's kind of like a learning curve, even with doing podcasts. And it's like, how do you get into conversations with people also when they have more knowledge than you do too, about stuff, or they.
- [88:51]
B
Because you're learning and contributing, or they.
- [88:53]
A
Think they have more knowledge, you know, because then you feel like, well, I think something, but I may not know a fact on it, but it is how I feel, you know, and like, when to speak up.
- [89:03]
B
When people try to talk you out of feelings, that's like the worst thing ever. When you feel a certain way about anything, you know, and they try to like disprove how you feel about something. Like, I feel like that's wrong. Well, blah, blah, blah. And I hit you with all these like, facts, which some were probably made up. You don't even know. And it's like, okay, but I still feel that way.
- [89:18]
A
Yeah. Yeah.
- [89:19]
B
What are you trying to talk me out of? You know?
- [89:20]
A
Exactly, dude.
- [89:21]
B
Yeah. That's an interesting thing to.
- [89:24]
A
What else is happening in the news? What else is going on, man?
- [89:27]
B
You read the news when you wake up. How do you get your. How do you get your news?
- [89:33]
A
That's a good question. Yeah, probably Tick tock. Yeah, Websites. That's it. Really?
- [89:43]
B
Stuff that comes across your radar.
- [89:45]
A
Yeah, kind of like that. Or things that I'll see kind of over and over again. Did you see that snake? That's head got bit off and it still bit itself.
- [89:53]
B
Bring it up.
- [89:55]
A
Watch this. They cut the snake's head off, right? Yeah, that's its head at the bottom.
- [90:02]
B
That is insane.
- [90:05]
A
And so. Yeah, that's from Satan, dude.
- [90:07]
B
You think he's having a bad day and then it just gets.
- [90:13]
A
Oh, bro, look at that, it bit its head, was a foot away from the end of its body.
- [90:19]
B
It taps it, and then there you go.
- [90:21]
A
And then the other end of the snake curls over and touches the head just reflexively, and it just opens its.
- [90:28]
B
Mouth and instinctually just chomps down on itself. And now the snake is like, not only have I lost my head, but now it's biting me.
- [90:35]
A
Look, I've tried to do some things to myself, but you know what I'm.
- [90:39]
B
Saying, That's the talent right there.
- [90:40]
A
Junior high or whatever. But this is kind of crazy, bro.
- [90:43]
B
Did you. Did you. Do. Do you have a fear of anything? Are you afraid of, like, snakes?
- [90:48]
A
Snakes make me very nervous.
- [90:49]
B
That makes me ner. I'm not really afraid of snakes. That. That clip changes my.
- [90:53]
A
Well, it makes me feel like they're directly from Satan. Also. Huge corporations make me very nervous.
- [91:00]
B
Snakes and huge corporations.
- [91:02]
A
Evil.
- [91:03]
B
Yeah, those are tough. Those are tough.
- [91:05]
A
Yeah. And Genesis also makes me nervous, too, a little bit.
- [91:08]
B
And we're talking in no particular order.
- [91:12]
A
All three of those things make me pretty nervous.
- [91:13]
B
Yeah.
- [91:14]
A
Yeah.
- [91:15]
B
Sometimes you see animals pull off some stuff and you just can't believe, like, that they're real with stuff. You ever see, like, when you see these falcons, they're like 100ft out of the water, and they see a fish and they just dive, get it out of the water and just come up and have lunch. I missed a turn on the way here, and I have gps, you know what I mean? It's, like, crazy. It's crazy with. Some of these animals could do, but biting yourself with your head off, that's. Oh, yeah, that's bonkers.
- [91:40]
A
That's some diddy, dude. Look at.
- [91:43]
B
Those are nuts. They just die and they go underwater. They can't. And they can't breathe them. They just dive in and go in. He's like, boom. I'm just gonna grab this fish right out of the water.
- [91:51]
A
Oh, if you could train a falcon to do that. And you showed up, like, at a bass tournament.
- [91:58]
B
Everybody's there with their rods. You're just there with a little helmet on it. Go ahead, Maximus.
- [92:04]
A
Time to eat. Yeah, in 30 minutes. You got your done.
- [92:07]
B
I love birds.
- [92:08]
A
You're done for the day. You do.
- [92:09]
B
I love birds, man. If I could have a falcon, I'd have a falcon. I had a. I had a. I had a African gray parrot for me.
- [92:16]
A
No way.
- [92:16]
B
The best. Maximus, his name was this little. Little bird I had. He was so fun. Yeah, those guys are super smart and can.
- [92:24]
A
Are these the ones that can read and write or no?
- [92:26]
B
Yeah, they're. They're the most intelligent of the parrot. Yeah, they got that red tail. They're really fun. But I didn't teach it how to talk because I only taught to go like that because they live to 80 years old. I don't want 80 years old of like, hello. Like, I don't want 80 years of saying hello to this bird. So I didn't teach it how to.
- [92:42]
A
Say, dude, come on.
- [92:43]
B
So, like, what am I going to do? I'm going to be answering questions.
- [92:45]
A
That's like having a toddler, whatever. You don't teach him anything.
- [92:48]
B
It's a bird, though. He liked his life for a while. It was great.
- [92:51]
A
And what happened in the end?
- [92:53]
B
I moved. I ended up moving to la and I didn't have an apartment or anything and I was living with a friend, so I couldn't bring a bird in a bird cage with me. So I ended up. There was this, this bird rescuer that worked at, with the Bronx Zoo and she, she came over, took it and interviewed her and she was really nice.
- [93:09]
A
So they got a good zoo in the Bronx. A lot of union work. A lot of union animals.
- [93:12]
B
A lot of union animals up there. It's clean. A lot of union animals. Yeah. The Bronx Zoo is like one of the biggest ones.
- [93:16]
A
Wow.
- [93:17]
B
It's. They do a big thing at the holidays too. I think all the zoos do it where they light up like, and do that, like, at night thing.
- [93:22]
A
Oh, yeah. It's really, really cool. Animals at night or whatever. Like. Yeah, I saw.
- [93:26]
B
When I went to Australia, I did the weirdest thing. They had the, the nocturnal animals, they change their clock on them. So they make. They're all indoors in this facility. Right. There's like these mice and whatnot. And they change their clock because they are supposed to be asleep at night, that. They make it sun at night inside this building, it's sun up. And then during the day they make it night in this building.
- [93:50]
A
Isn't that a war crime?
- [93:51]
B
I think it is. I think these mice are like, hey, if they ever get out in the wild, it's not going to do it. But it's green. You walk in, it's like you're walking through the prairies at night. I think it was in Sydney, the Sydney Zoo or wherever I was. And it was crazy. Like, you walked in and it was like you were walking through and I had all these mice running around, all these different owls, bats. It's crazy. Yeah.
- [94:08]
A
I wouldn't be able to Be a night animal, dude.
- [94:10]
B
No, you're too lazy.
- [94:12]
A
Well, it's just too risky out there. Something, like, attacks you in the dark.
- [94:16]
B
Something always sees better than you.
- [94:18]
A
Yes.
- [94:18]
B
That's tough.
- [94:19]
A
Yeah, dude. And if you can't see that good, and it's nighttime or whatever, and you're like, I'm an animal or whatever, whatever, you're. You're done.
- [94:26]
B
These scary movies, too, where people, like, run through the woods at night. No, I'm going to stay here till the sun comes up, and then I'll figure it out. Yeah, like, trying to run through and stuff. I can't do that.
- [94:34]
A
Yeah, like they said, Those Friday the 13th movies, they were like that.
- [94:36]
B
Yeah.
- [94:36]
A
Did you ever watch those?
- [94:38]
B
Yeah, yeah, I did. I did. I like some horrors and stuff. Yeah, that's it. Nocturnal house.
- [94:42]
A
The Taronga Zoo, Upper nocturnal house. Australia.
- [94:45]
B
So see that? That's the indoor. So they totally change it. It's. It's broad daylight outside. You walk into tonight. It's super. These crazy squirrel things. And all the Australian animals are all batshit crazy. They got some weirdest animals over there.
- [94:58]
A
Well, even if you think about, like, it's funny because if you looked at, like, say if you walked into the forest or whatever, and they had. You saw a bear in there, right. But he was drinking. You know, he's sitting there drinking, like, 20 cups of coffee and smoking cigarettes, and it's like on his computer all day. You. But like, something's wrong with this fucking bear. The other bears are just having fun scratching their backs on trees, dude. You know, eating berries or whatever. And he's over there, like, you know.
- [95:30]
B
Gotta get this report to corporate.
- [95:32]
A
Yeah.
- [95:34]
B
Like, this bear's got something wrong with him, Right.
- [95:36]
A
Shows you what sick animals we are. Just like humans. We've gotten kind of sick, you know? Bear appears to carry a laptop computer at Montana Roadside. Never mind this guy, he was like, dude, I.
- [95:47]
B
To give Theo a story.
- [95:51]
A
Wow.
- [95:52]
B
People get stupid around bears, though. They always want to pet them.
- [95:55]
A
Yeah.
- [95:55]
B
Like, that's. It's got to be the number one attack.
- [95:57]
A
There's always a video in the background. The kids, like, touch him, and people.
- [96:00]
B
Think they're scarier than them.
- [96:01]
A
They're going, oh.
- [96:03]
B
Meanwhile, the bear ripped the head off. Like, it's so dumb.
- [96:05]
A
Don't be a wimp, Dot.
- [96:06]
B
Yeah, go get him.
- [96:08]
A
Dot is a dad, puts a bike helmet on and goes to talk to the bear.
- [96:12]
B
Like, it's okay. And he puts his hand out. It's like, oh, like, what are you doing? The bears, like, I'm going to eat you, you dumb human. It's so stupid. People get so ballsy or so scared of bears. It's unbelievable. Yeah. I don't know why people think bears are friendly. Because the one because they look cute, right? But the people like, oh, they're friendly, but, like, nobody goes up to, like, lions and tries to pet them. Lions are cute too, right?
- [96:33]
A
But they're not as they Bears have been, like, commercialized as being so cute. The Berenstain bears, right?
- [96:40]
B
The teddy bear.
- [96:41]
A
Yeah, the teddy bear. Yes.
- [96:44]
B
Bear grills.
- [96:45]
A
Yeah. People approach him like that, it's got to fight. People just bear spray him all the time.
- [96:56]
B
He's like, you're not going to eat me today, dude.
- [96:59]
A
That'd be the best. You see a bear, like, in a Hakeem Olajuwon jersey somewhere or in a Nuggets jersey.
- [97:07]
B
And the bears, the bears going.
- [97:13]
A
Yeah, dude. Nature's crazy, man. Do you think that we are, we're, like, divinely separate, or do you think that we're just part of nature, do you think.
- [97:23]
B
I think there's a. I think we're, I think we're part. Yeah, it's, it's hard. I, I, I think we are part of it, but I'm not sure if I think we fit in in a different way. We think we fit in a different way than we do. I think it's like we're supposed to be part of the mix way more. We're not in charge of half this shit.
- [97:39]
A
Yeah. We're supposed to be part of the mix way more.
- [97:41]
B
100%. Like, we have to put these animals in cages to control them. And someone, like, where the Domin speeches like, yeah, really let him out of the zoo and see what happens. I think it's crazy that way.
- [97:52]
A
Yeah.
- [97:53]
B
I love animals, though.
- [97:54]
A
Yeah, man. I think I wish I would spend more time around in my. We had a, this neuroscientist on, and she was saying that, yeah, being around animals, being around horses, Horses even just if you have a big family and you all sleep together in the same house. House. That it creates more like feelings of, like, low stress, you know?
- [98:12]
B
Yeah. Horses are used a lot in therapy, right? Equine therapy, what they call it, where you, like, hug a horse. You go to a ranch for, like a month.
- [98:18]
A
Yeah, those are big.
- [98:18]
B
They think it's like a horse hugging. That's the thing. I didn't make that up. That's weird.
- [98:22]
A
It can escalate too, because this horse.
- [98:25]
B
I found love in Arizona.
- [98:28]
A
You'll end up in one of those donkey shows or whatever. How does equine therapy help trauma victims? That's a good question. Equine therapy is an excellent option for trauma victims who have a hard time opening up about their experiences or who feel overwhelmed, anxiety or panic. Equine therapy provides a unique environment in which individuals are able to heal their invisible wounds in a way that is intuitive and fun.
- [98:52]
B
It's fun. Therapy could be fun, man.
- [98:54]
A
This is a website, I think, trying to sell us something. Is there actually, can you find something that's a little bit more information, just like the actual information? Please. I'm curious about that.
- [99:03]
B
Yeah, there's a.
- [99:04]
A
Because how do you do it?
- [99:06]
B
You know, so it's basically just kind of like you're around because they're low stress animals or like, you know, you. That you have to be calm around a horse, so you have to calm yourself down. I think that's part of it. So I think that's. That, that does it. But it's. It's weird. Like, you see these people, like they're laying down with the horses and just petting them and they're. You see what the problems they were dealing with. It's crazy.
- [99:24]
A
Oh, yeah. I met two alpacas outside of a Lowe's, outside of parks, outside of Park City.
- [99:32]
B
What were they picking up some. They're picking up some two by fours.
- [99:37]
A
No, I don't know what they were doing. One of them named Macaroni. I remember that. That's great.
- [99:42]
B
Love that.
- [99:42]
A
Love to put that video in of it. The movement of horses can improve motor function and core strength. No. The psychological effects of equin assisted therapy come from the horse's ability to recognize human emotions and provide an intentional response.
- [99:56]
B
Okay. So if, like you're freaking out, they'll just come over and be like, look, it's okay. I'm a horse. Improve self esteem. Okay?
- [100:06]
A
Yeah, man. I think my brain just feels slow today. Do you ever have slow days? Do you take days off? Sometimes? I just got off the road too, for a few days and it was just.
- [100:14]
B
That's always the hard one. Yeah.
- [100:15]
A
You think?
- [100:16]
B
Yeah, I think when you get back to settle in, it's nice. You're trying to readjust because your clock's off too, right? Because, like, you're having that high of doing a show at night, meeting all those people and doing everything right. So it's a little different. You're not, you're not. You don't get that at home. Yeah, yeah. What time you normally go to Bed if you're at home.
- [100:33]
A
If I'm at home by 11.
- [100:34]
B
Oh, really? Yeah.
- [100:35]
A
What about you?
- [100:36]
B
I go bed probably around 1.
- [100:38]
A
No way. 1am 12.
- [100:41]
B
1. Yeah.
- [100:42]
A
Joe, that's late.
- [100:44]
B
I probably should get more sleep, but like I said, I sleep hard with these dogs. I get a good five hours. I'm raring to go. I'm a napper though. Sometimes I'll shut it down for 20. I like a good cat nap. Oh, yeah, I'll grab a nap. You nap?
- [100:55]
A
Yeah, dude, I like nap the best.
- [100:57]
B
I think they're the best. Could you. Could you nap for longer, though? Like if I go over like 25 minutes, half hour, I'm like, I slept. Like I need to go to sleep, you know?
- [101:06]
A
My dream is to take an alarmless nap, dude.
- [101:10]
B
Wake up when the body says it's time.
- [101:12]
A
Yeah, dude. Before God starts pulling on your strings again. That's right.
- [101:15]
B
Yeah. Blacked out curtains.
- [101:17]
A
Yeah.
- [101:17]
B
Maybe the AC is on.
- [101:19]
A
I like AC on. On earplugs in fan, on one of those Vietnamese water fountains playing in the back or whatever.
- [101:26]
B
You got it. Of course.
- [101:27]
A
Water dripping directly on my forehead in the center. Like I like all. I like to be like a pow.
- [101:32]
B
That's it getting out, right?
- [101:33]
A
Oh, I want.
- [101:33]
B
Yeah, you do. Do you do ear.
- [101:35]
A
I want somebody that's just me. A small tin of beans around 8pm.
- [101:40]
B
Maybe little paper cuts on your foot. Did you do ear. Do you do like.
- [101:45]
A
I'll do earplugs. Yeah.
- [101:46]
B
Earplugs.
- [101:46]
A
Yeah, dude, I'll wear earplugs now. So now it's till like 11am it's like there's just too much noise in the world. I don't want any of it. I don't care. I've heard so much of it. Put the earplugs in. See people they don't know.
- [101:58]
B
Yeah.
- [101:59]
A
Talk loud to them. I got neighbors loud.
- [102:02]
B
Yeah, Theo's got his ear. Do you have them in now?
- [102:08]
A
No, I don't.
- [102:08]
B
All right, good.
- [102:09]
A
But I'll put them. Yeah, I'll put them in a lot, dude.
- [102:12]
B
That's good though. Shut you down.
- [102:14]
A
What else do I do? What's something else that I like to do a lot? Oh, I used to sleep in a neck brace when I was young to try to make my neck longer. Do you ever do anything like that?
- [102:23]
B
Stretch it out?
- [102:24]
A
Yeah.
- [102:25]
B
No, I didn't sleep in a neck brace, but I had a.
- [102:29]
A
It's pretty hard to do.
- [102:31]
B
Did you ever have braces growing up?
- [102:33]
A
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- [102:33]
B
So I had braces I was the last one that. I get it some. My doctor was totally through this thing where, you know, he had the headgear thing and like, he. Cause I was the last one in the family. He was like milking it. He didn't want the gaddles to be out of that orthodontic game, you know. So I had to wear a head gear for like. For five braces for five years. And he was like, you had to wear the headgear, you know, when you sleep. And I was like, you know what? I don't want to wear it for five years. I was going to wear them all the time. So I just used to wear it like 24 7. Yeah. I'd have the headgear on like an air traffic controller. I would just have the like peace thing. Yeah. Similar to that. That's a little. That's a little bit. Yeah. Could you Google like 1980s? Like that. That's like keep your mouth open thing. Yeah, that thing. Yeah, like the headband thing.
- [103:18]
A
The same thing, basically. So, bro, early braces was crazy. When you saw somebody with that on you, like, what are you a part of?
- [103:27]
B
I know. I go to school like that.
- [103:28]
A
Yeah. What?
- [103:29]
B
Because I didn't want to wear braces for so long. Oh, yeah, it's. It was weird. That's what I. That's one thing I really did. But that was because I wanted to get be done with it sooner. That might be me, actually.
- [103:38]
A
That picture right there, that third one, that guy.
- [103:41]
B
Third one there. That guy.
- [103:42]
A
Rubble dude.
- [103:43]
B
Yeah. He's like, I don't want to do this. Yeah.
- [103:46]
A
Those things were crazy, dude. All. Yeah. Like, what were the first braces ever, I wonder? What did they look like? The first teeth braces?
- [103:53]
B
I don't know any before this. Besides the silver things they would glue to your teeth. Right. They put it on with the adhesive to the front of your teeth. That's what I had. The exposed ones, kind of like 2D has right there.
- [104:01]
A
Yeah. And then they put the ones with the little rubber bands.
- [104:07]
B
Rubber bands underneath. You have to bring back the overbite. But then the big one was when they went to a clear front. Clear one. So they were trying to fool you that it was clear.
- [104:15]
A
Egyptian mummies were found with metal bands around their teeth. And archaeologists believe they used cat gut to tie the bands together to move them. Primitive orthodontic appliances were also found with early Greek and Roman artifacts.
- [104:27]
B
Really? They were getting in that straight.
- [104:29]
A
Your teeth came early, but imagine using cat gut. Cat gut, your tongue that's probably where it comes from. Oh my.
- [104:38]
B
We thought it was God. It's cat gut your tongue. And we solving. We're solving mysteries here.
- [104:43]
A
Shut your tongue, dude.
- [104:45]
B
You got cat gut tongue.
- [104:47]
A
Look at this, bro. Oh. Oh my God.
- [104:50]
B
Oh, they like drilled through the teeth though. That's not right. They shouldn't have done that. That doesn't seem correct.
- [104:54]
A
Horrible ideas. This is also. Who knows if this is a reliable website? It's 1, 2, 3. Dentist.com.
- [105:00]
B
So they might have put this up together in canva in the back. It's like thr together a graphic.
- [105:08]
A
That's the crazy thing about news nowadays. You don't know what's news and what isn't. I mean, it's crazy. You don't know what is real, what isn't. You can go down a rabbit hole. You could.
- [105:16]
B
And even the find something gets disproved on the next page.
- [105:19]
A
And the real news channels, they're not even serving you news.
- [105:22]
B
No.
- [105:22]
A
So it's like what the.
- [105:23]
B
Are they their opinions? Yeah, yeah. That's why I asked you where you get your news from and you said TikTok.
- [105:30]
A
Yeah.
- [105:31]
B
Which is an insane answer if you think about it.
- [105:33]
A
TikTok rumors.
- [105:35]
B
What my neighbor says. Oh, for whispers at the Coffee Bean.
- [105:41]
A
People things. Yell out during sex or whatever.
- [105:43]
B
Anything. Did you hear about that? Yeah, I heard it from Doreen, my neighbor.
- [105:47]
A
Yeah, dude, trust me, every now and then when Hank's home early, she leaves her window open and you'll get the real scoop.
- [105:53]
B
Oh, she. She's yelling. SpaceX is saving the astronauts.
- [105:58]
A
Like God. Well, one of you guys come already, please. Sick of hearing this earpods in. Dude, you. What about all that Diddy stuff, man? He's going to go down, huh? Did you ever meet him?
- [106:12]
B
I never met him. Never met him? No.
- [106:14]
A
We're asking everybody now.
- [106:15]
B
In New York, he was always around, but I never, I. I never met. I mean that was. You know, I'm only in the public eye for a decade now. He's been around forever. I never really ran into him.
- [106:24]
A
Now seeing him though is kind of crazy. Seeing that all that happened, you know, I. To me, it's crazy. I wonder if say he does have tapes or information on like other people.
- [106:36]
B
Yeah.
- [106:37]
A
I wonder if they are gonna use that to get people to support different. Like I wonder if the government is gonna use that to get people to support different agendas. Agendas. Political agendas. Like that's what I wonder. It's like, okay, this tape won't come out. We need you to support this candidate or we need you to. To support this bill or bill or policy or something.
- [107:00]
B
Yeah. I mean, it's not beyond comprehension, right?
- [107:04]
A
I don't think so.
- [107:04]
B
Yeah. I mean, there's definitely stuff that people are afraid to have out there, for sure. I mean, you know, he famously said that he's got tapes and stuff and everybody knows, so.
- [107:15]
A
And then imagine if you were ever even there.
- [107:17]
B
Yeah.
- [107:18]
A
Even if you were just eating an.
- [107:19]
B
Hors d'oeuvre really hard before you realize what's going on. You're just having some deviled eggs. You turn to your left and you're like. Like, I should leave. But they already got you on camera. Deviled eggs. You know, that's rough.
- [107:29]
A
A couple four eggs and a baguette in your mouth or something, and people are like, this guy's involved. I don't know. That would be.
- [107:36]
B
Oh, yeah, that's right. I mean, it's gonna be interesting how it shakes out. For sure. I think it's gonna be. That's gonna be a long time coming out, though, right? That's not gonna be like a. I think it's gonna go on for a while.
- [107:45]
A
Yeah. They got to drag that out.
- [107:46]
B
Drag that out, for sure.
- [107:47]
A
Yeah.
- [107:47]
B
Yeah.
- [107:50]
A
What else is going on?
- [107:54]
B
This is a. You're such an interesting fella.
- [107:57]
A
I am.
- [107:57]
B
You are. Yeah. Do you feel that? Because you are one of the most interesting people to sit down with. I love it.
- [108:02]
A
No.
- [108:02]
B
Every time we sit down, dude, I love it.
- [108:04]
A
Really? I just feel like I. Yeah. I feel like my brain is a little bit off today, kind of. It's actually. It's been good. I just sometimes feel a little bit, like. I don't know, like, you got too much sleep. You didn't get enough sleep. I don't know.
- [108:15]
B
Yeah.
- [108:16]
A
You know, it's a mixture of both.
- [108:17]
B
You need a nap, and we got. We got to tie you up and drop some water on you. Okay. Get you in some sleep.
- [108:23]
A
Yeah. Did you ever go do one of those military shows abroad, like, military tours?
- [108:29]
B
No. No, I didn't. I wanted to. I've never did that. Have you?
- [108:32]
A
Yeah. Those are pretty cool. Yeah.
- [108:34]
B
Yeah.
- [108:34]
A
Yeah. Just because you get to go to places, you never would even think that we have, like, military presence, and you're like, oh, my gosh, we're in this place, and, like, suddenly you're performing and there's this, like, people. You know.
- [108:44]
B
Do you get, like, the military escorts and all that stuff, too? Is that, like, when you get. When you're going on the way There.
- [108:48]
A
I had a girl offered a BJ to me once in a black.
- [108:52]
B
That's not. Not that kind of escort. I meant like they take you, not like a girl who's in the military offering.
- [109:01]
A
Yeah, I know what you're talking about now. No, this girl. But she had like. Oh, my God. Yeah, I just remember in a Blackhawk. Yeah, she's like, there's Blackhawk Down.
- [109:12]
B
Yeah, she was Blackhawk down, man.
- [109:17]
A
Well, I don't know what she was into. She was white hog now, but she. Yeah, and I. I just. I didn't do it. I think I got too nervous. She also had a big, huge pimple on her neck and it made me nervous too.
- [109:31]
B
Yeah, that's a.
- [109:33]
A
That's.
- [109:34]
B
That's not going to do it for you.
- [109:36]
A
It just made me so nervous. I was like, I don't. You know, does she have one neck?
- [109:39]
B
Her pieces.
- [109:40]
A
I don't know.
- [109:41]
B
Yeah, some weird.
- [109:42]
A
She hadn't heard, so I don't know that, man. But then, oh, one time. There was another time on a military. I think it was at Air Force base. They were doing like, runs in the morning and some girl came by my room in the morning and I don't remember what it. You know, I don't exactly remember what happened, but it was all above board or whatever.
- [110:04]
B
Yeah, yeah, but they love too. On the. On the basis.
- [110:10]
A
Oh, yeah, she was. She. She was probably a little late. Late for work. Two minutes late for work. But still.
- [110:15]
B
Yeah, just a couple minutes. I'm not gonna brag.
- [110:20]
A
Yeah. 80 seconds late for work.
- [110:22]
B
A minute 30 at most. Yeah, I hear that.
- [110:26]
A
What's been something that you didn't expect about heading off in a standup comedy? Like, did you expect it would be different? Do you expect it would be, like, the challenge of it? Like, I know you've always been on stage and been a performer.
- [110:37]
B
Yeah. The challenge of it, for sure. Like, you have to. To talk for 65 minutes, like, you know, and do all that and just put it together that way. That was really, like, the crafting of the hour was such a. It's such a really cool thing to do, you know, and being aware enough to be like, this isn't as funny as the other stuff. This has to go. That was such a weird thing. Like the editing of the hour, you know, is like where you think this is gonna be a great part of it. And then you go and just some other stupid thing that happened. And you're like, oh, wow, this is so much funnier than that. And it becomes a Big piece of it. Like, a year into the tour, I found a different story and I just was like, oh, I gotta pull this out. This is not as funny as the other stuff. And that, that was pretty cool. I never really experienced that. Because you think you have it, you're like, oh, this is a great hour. And then you have something like, no, this is a great hour, you know? Yeah, I just have my son and I had a story about my. In the new special, Messing with People, I had a story about my son going on a Star wars ride. And he didn't. He didn't really. He never been on a ride and he never saw Star Wars. He's five years old and he thought he got abducted by aliens. So he legit. He starts screaming, I want to go back to Earth. And it was so funny. And like, I saw and I was told Steve Byrne that story as we were driving, and he's like, dude, you got to try that in the hour. He's like, that's funny. He's like, I tell that story. And I was like, what? And that night, we were driving that night, he's like, just tell it. Just start telling it. And I told it. And then I just started, like working it out and, you know, figuring out what the punches were. And it was. It's such a cool part, but I had never really talked about my kids at all. And that was like. That's a really cool piece to add.
- [112:01]
A
To the puzzle and a really cool way to do it. Yeah, let's see. Just a. Just a bit of it.
- [112:06]
B
Big Star wars ride. Any other Star wars fans up in here? I got to go on that Star wars ride that they built. And if you don't know about it, they spent like hundreds of millions of dollars on this ride. It's basically a movie set. It's unbelievable, but it's also an immersive experience, which means everybody who works on the ride is in character. They play a character. So when the ride starts, you're in the woods with all the rebels and they're moving you down the line. Thanks for joining the fight. You go through the woods, a big alarm sounds and they go, the first order's coming. We got to get you out of here. You turn the corner, there's this humongous spaceship, the doors open, you get in with these big LED monitors all around you, these 90 inch TVs, and you take off into outer space. A battle begins. You get sucked onto the Death Star, and the next time the doors open, you're on the Death Star face to face with 100 animatronic human sized stormtroopers with their guns pointed at you. And I was like, this is the coolest thing ever. Are you kidding me?
- [112:56]
A
This is so cool.
- [112:57]
B
What a cool experience for me. Not for my 5 year old son who's never seen a Star wars film or been on a ride.
- [113:10]
A
That's good, dude. Wow, that's hilarious, dude. Yeah. When you take it back and think about that.
- [113:17]
B
Yeah, I think, I think like he's going to think he was abducted. Like he's gonna be on like a Netflix documentary. Like I got sucked in his face.
- [113:26]
A
And they sucked him up. Why is it that everybody is taking a space?
- [113:30]
B
Everybody gets there and probed everybody. What is so interesting about our assholes?
- [113:35]
A
I don't know, because. And we can't even see them, dude. That's the scariest part, right? If all the information is there and you can't even see it, that's the to just like, what are we doing?
- [113:47]
B
That's why, that's why they're the higher, higher intelligence. They got all the secrets we keep in our ass.
- [113:52]
A
Yeah, dude. Meanwhile, we look at dogs like, look at these idiots.
- [113:56]
B
They're all like reading each other's QR codes.
- [114:01]
A
Oh, that's the devil's QR code right there, dude. That's true. Huh? And you know, no two are the same. It's just like your fingerprints.
- [114:09]
B
Same exact thing. I don't know if that's true.
- [114:11]
A
Really.
- [114:11]
B
I.
- [114:12]
A
It's the 11th fingerprint. Yeah. Maybe Google the 11th fingerprint, see what it says.
- [114:21]
B
I think I. You know what, it seems possible, but I don't know if that's a fact. But also, how do you prove that? You got to know everybody's asshole print.
- [114:29]
A
Yeah. What is the rarest fingerprint type? Well, that's not it.
- [114:34]
B
Arch.
- [114:35]
A
That. Yeah, Arch holes. Yeah, yeah. 11th fingerprint. I use the numbers. I think you have to write it out. E, L, E, V, N, T H.
- [114:45]
B
Yeah, it's gonna be 1, 2, 3. Dentist is gonna tell us which one.
- [114:51]
A
Oh, they're hiding the truth.
- [114:53]
B
That's it. Here it is, man. We gotta ask your neighbor. Get the real news.
- [114:58]
A
Yeah. Wake up, Spamoni.
- [115:00]
B
Yeah. Come on. She did great, man. Thanks.
- [115:02]
A
Oh, she's doing great. Joe got her. You got the new special, Messing with People people.
- [115:06]
B
Yep.
- [115:06]
A
It's out now on YouTube. It came out September 17th.
- [115:09]
B
Yeah, September 17th.
- [115:11]
A
September 17th. Yeah. You have your new children's book. Barry.
- [115:16]
B
Where's Barry?
- [115:16]
A
Where's Barry?
- [115:17]
B
Barry came out and then I got. I'm on tour now with my new hour. Let's get into a tour.
- [115:21]
A
And where is the. Where's Barry? What ages is it for?
- [115:25]
B
It's four to eight. It's a picture book. Yeah.
- [115:28]
A
Beautiful, man.
- [115:28]
B
Or people who just one day want to have children. You know, if they don't have kids now, it guarantees that you'll procreate, actually.
- [115:34]
A
Really?
- [115:34]
B
Yeah, it reads. It's in the. It's on the back flap. It's the opposite of the thing for the rats. So that's why the rats can't read.
- [115:41]
A
It if you play it backwards on a record player. Yeah. Thanks so much, man. I appreciate you guys. Shows coming up in Memphis, St. Louis, Indiana.
- [115:53]
B
Yeah.
- [115:54]
A
Akron, Oklahoma, Texas.
- [115:56]
B
Yeah. I'm in Atlantic City. October, I think. 19th.
- [116:00]
A
Wow. You're doing a lot of shows.
- [116:01]
B
Yeah, yeah, I've been, you know, so I just kicked off the new tour, so you know how it is. You know, you get out there and do it. Yeah, I'm excited.
- [116:07]
A
Yeah. Well, dude, thanks so much for all the entertainment over the years, man.
- [116:11]
B
You're the best.
- [116:12]
A
Yeah.
- [116:12]
B
Always so great to see.
- [116:13]
A
It's been awesome. And thanks for the nice gift you gave me. A nice, like, it's like a. It's almost like this. It's like a counter puzzle thing that you had sent to my room and whenever we're in Milwaukee. Yeah, it was just thoughtful. Had like a funny note on it. But, yeah, thanks for all the thoughtful humor over the years. Congrats on the new special, man. And. Yeah, and you have also the podcast.
- [116:34]
B
Yep.
- [116:35]
A
Mom.
- [116:35]
B
Two cool Moms.
- [116:36]
A
Two Cool Moms. With Steve Byrne.
- [116:37]
B
With Steve Byrne. Yeah. You find out wherever you get here.
- [116:39]
A
Thanks so much, dude, for hanging out.
- [116:41]
B
You're the best.
- [116:41]
A
I appreciate it. Love you, buddy.
- [116:42]
B
Love you, man. Now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone but when I reach that ground I'll share this piece of my life out I can feel it in my bones but it's gonna take a little.