Podcast Summary: "This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von" — Episode E562 featuring Richard Reeves

Introduction

In Episode E562 of "This Past Weekend with Theo Von," released on February 14, 2025, host Theo Von engages in a profound and enlightening conversation with Richard Reeves, a social scientist, dual citizen, and the president of the American Institute for Boys and Men (AIBM). The episode delves deep into the challenges faced by men and boys in contemporary society, exploring themes such as male mental health, evolving gender roles, and the importance of male solidarity.

Guest Background: Richard Reeves

Richard Reeves brings a wealth of experience to the conversation, having been a journalist for the Guardian in the 1990s and later transitioning into social advocacy. As a dual citizen who became a U.S. citizen in 2016, Reeves offers a unique perspective on citizenship and immigration, alongside his commitment to addressing the struggles faced by men and boys today.

Key Discussion Points

1. Citizenship and Immigration Experiences

   • Dual Citizenship: Richard reveals, “I became a US citizen in 2016, so I'm very, very proud of this country” (01:16). He shares his emotional experience during his citizenship ceremony, emphasizing the profound gratitude immigrants feel upon becoming citizens.

   • Implications for Education: Reeves suggests, “every high schooler in the US should go to a citizenship ceremony” (04:28), to foster appreciation for citizenship among those born in the country.

2. Importance of Rituals and Social Cohesion

   • Rituals in Society: Both hosts discuss the declining importance of rituals like the Pledge of Allegiance, with Reeves noting, “We've come to undervalue ritual” (05:20). They highlight how rituals foster a sense of belonging and community.

   • Male Communication Styles: A significant portion of the conversation focuses on how men communicate differently, preferring “shoulder to shoulder” interactions over face-to-face conversations. Reeves explains, “men go shoulder to shoulder” (22:05), illustrating how this non-verbal communication style impacts male relationships and mental health support.

3. The American Institute for Boys and Men (AIBM)

   • Mission and Purpose: Reeves introduces AIBM as “a research and advocacy organization” aimed at highlighting the struggles of boys and men, which often go unnoticed in mainstream discourse (08:01).

   • Impact of COVID-19: He discusses how the pandemic disproportionately affected men, citing a “seven times more drop in college enrollment for men” and higher mortality rates from COVID-19 among men (09:00).

4. Male Mental Health and Suicide Rates

   • Rising Suicide Rates: A critical discussion point is the alarming increase in suicide rates among men under 30, which has risen by 40% since 2010. Reeves emphasizes, “the suicide rate among men under the age of 30 has risen by 40% since 2010” (30:56).

   • Feelings of Worthlessness: Referencing studies, Reeves shares that men who commit suicide often use terms like “I'm useless” and “I'm worthless,” highlighting the deep-seated feelings of inadequacy (31:20).

5. Changing Roles of Fatherhood

   • Evolution of Fatherhood: Reeves contrasts his father's traditional role as the breadwinner with his own experience as a stay-at-home dad. He reflects, “Fathers are doing so much more in the home” (14:14), illustrating the shifting dynamics in parenting roles.

   • Importance of Active Fatherhood: The conversation underscores the necessity for fathers to be present and engaged, regardless of marital status. Reeves asserts, “if you become a father, you have a moral responsibility to be there for that kid” (117:35).

6. Decline of Male-Dominated Institutions

   • Male Teachers and Coaches: Reeves points out the decreasing number of male teachers and coaches, stating, “we have to get more male teachers” (97:21). He argues that male role models in educational settings are crucial for boys' development.

   • Loss of Social Structures: The hosts lament the erosion of traditional male-centric institutions like the Boy Scouts, suggesting that “male spaces are where you can help men to learn some of the not traditionally male attributes like caring and nurturing” (71:54).

7. Strategies to Support Men and Boys

   • Creating Male Spaces: They discuss initiatives like the Men's Sheds movement, where men engage in activities like fixing things together to foster camaraderie and mutual support (94:11).

   • Mentorship and Community Involvement: Reeves advocates for programs that encourage men to mentor young boys, emphasizing, “there's no hall pass for fatherhood” (117:44). He also highlights the importance of volunteer programs like Big Brother.

   • Encouraging Male Participation in Education: Increasing the number of male teachers and incentivizing men to pursue careers in education and coaching are suggested as vital steps toward providing boys with positive role models.

8. Economic and Social Changes Impacting Men

   • Economic Shifts: Reeves discusses how the decline of traditionally male-dominated industries (e.g., manufacturing, mining) has left many men feeling purposeless and economically disenfranchised (35:08).

   • Class Over Race: Emphasizing the role of class, Reeves states, “those men are the ones who are suffering the most... that includes white men as well as black and Hispanic men. That's a class issue, not a race issue” (76:36).

9. Reimagining Masculinity

   • Reform vs. Restoration: The discussion shifts to redefining masculinity rather than reverting to outdated patriarchal norms. Reeves envisions a future where men embrace both traditional and nurturing roles, fostering a more balanced and fulfilling sense of self.

   • Positive Male Attributes: By valuing traits like care, connection, and emotional expression alongside ambition and resilience, the conversation promotes a holistic approach to masculinity.

Concluding Insights

The episode culminates with both hosts reflecting on the necessity of mutual understanding and collaboration between men and women to navigate the evolving societal landscape. Richard Reeves emphasizes the importance of “equal empathy and respect for men and women,” advocating for a collective effort to support and uplift each other without fostering antagonism (116:32).

He envisions a society where both genders can flourish simultaneously, leveraging their unique strengths and fostering environments where men feel valued, connected, and purposeful. Theo Von echoes this sentiment, highlighting the significance of authentic conversations and community support in addressing the challenges faced by men today.

Notable Quotes

• Richard Reeves on Think Tanks: “honestly, I was in another think tank ten years before that, the Brookings Institution... And I can assure you that if we'd existed then, we'd have been pushing out lots of information about how Covid was affecting boys' education and men's education” (02:37).

• On Male Communication: “the difference in communication style between men and women and boys and girls? Like, men, men go shoulder to shoulder, women go face to face” (22:25).

• On Suicide Rates: “we lose 40,000 men a year to suicide” (31:20).

• On Male Role Models: “we have to get more men into our schools... to have a lot more men in our schools” (97:21).

• On Reimagining Masculinity: “we have got to solve that problem as well” (36:33).

Conclusion

Episode E562 of "This Past Weekend with Theo Von" offers a compelling exploration of the multifaceted issues surrounding men's mental health, societal roles, and the urgent need for supportive structures. Through Richard Reeves' insights and personal experiences, listeners gain a deeper understanding of the challenges men face today and the pathways to fostering a more inclusive and supportive environment for all.