Throughline: History of the Self – Love
Release Date: December 26, 2024
Hosts: Rund Abdelfatah and Ramtin Arablouei, NPR
Introduction: Navigating Modern Love
In the episode titled "History of the Self: Love," NPR's Throughline delves deep into the complexities of modern romance, exploring how historical shifts and technological advancements have transformed the way we seek and experience love today. Hosts Rund Abdelfatah and Ramtin Arablouei blend personal anecdotes, historical analysis, and expert interviews to unravel the intricate tapestry of love's evolution.
Personal Struggles with Online Dating
The episode opens with Host Rund Abdelfatah sharing his personal journey back into the dating scene after years of singlehood. Struggling with the transition from traditional dating methods to the digital age, Rund reflects on the challenges of online dating:
"The search for a partner had been twisted and commodified into this detached consumer activity." ([00:52])
Rund's experience mirrors that of many listeners, highlighting feelings of alienation and the superficial nature of swiping through profiles, which often leaves meaningful connections elusive.
The Crisis of Connection
Delving into broader societal trends, the hosts cite research indicating that young people in America are experiencing unprecedented levels of singlehood and loneliness despite easy access to potential partners through dating apps. Niobe Way, a researcher from NYU, describes this phenomenon as a "crisis of connection."
"The number of young people in America who are single is the highest it's been in decades." ([02:16])
This paradox raises critical questions about the efficacy of technology in fostering genuine human connections.
Philosophical Perspectives on Love
Rund introduces the thoughts of philosopher Slavoj Žižek, who critiques the modern pursuit of love as a commodified and risk-averse endeavor:
"We want love without the fall, without falling in love." ([06:40])
Žižek argues that contemporary society seeks the benefits of love without embracing the inherent risks and sacrifices it entails. This perspective sets the stage for a deeper historical exploration of how love has been conceptualized over time.
The Birth of Romanticism in Jena
To understand the roots of modern romantic ideals, Rund journeys back to late 18th-century France, examining the rise of Romanticism—a movement emphasizing individualism and emotional depth. However, the true genesis of Romanticism as an international movement is traced to the small German town of Jena. Andrea Wolff's book, Magnificent the First Romantics and the Invention of the Self, serves as a key reference for this exploration.
Central to this narrative is Karoline Schlegel Schelling, a formidable intellectual who played a pivotal role in shaping Romantic thought. Rund highlights Karoline's influence:
"Her personality really determines the kind of rhythm and the tempo of their discussion. If they were an orchestra, she's really the conductor." ([12:39])
Under Karoline's leadership, the Jena Collective fostered a vibrant community dedicated to the exploration of the self, leading to groundbreaking ideas about personal freedom and emotional expression.
Romanticism’s Evolution and Its Impact on Love
The episode traces how the initial ideals of Romanticism—liberation, individualism, and emotional authenticity—have been reshaped over centuries. Andrea Wolff emphasizes that early Romanticism in Jena was fundamentally about liberation from societal constraints, particularly for women:
"If Romanticism is really based also on the idea that there's a free self, then you have to embrace the other." ([18:26])
However, as these ideas were exported to England and beyond, they evolved into the more simplified and commercially viable notions of love we recognize today, often depicted in media as grand gestures and idealized romances.
The Psychological Influence of Media on Romantic Ideals
Bringing in Dr. Veronica Hefner, an associate professor specializing in the psychological impacts of media on love, the hosts examine how films and books have shaped our expectations of romance. Dr. Hefner outlines four facets of the romantic ideal perpetuated by screen media:
- Love Conquers All: The belief that love can overcome any obstacle.
- Soulmate, One and Only: The idea that there is a single perfect match for everyone.
- Love at First Sight: Immediate and deep emotional connections upon first meeting.
- Idealization of the Partner: Viewing a partner as flawless and perfect.
"The romantic ideal consists of four different facets..." ([28:14])
These ideals, repeatedly reinforced through romantic comedies and other media, set unrealistic expectations that contribute to widespread feelings of dissatisfaction and loneliness in real-life relationships.
The Transformation of Dating Through Technology
The narrative transitions to the advent of online dating, highlighting how technological innovations have further complicated the pursuit of love. The shift from traditional courtship to mobile dating apps like Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble has introduced a new layer of disembodiment and commodification to romantic interactions.
"The economic incentives of a dating app are to keep users playing the app, not to get off the app." ([48:24])
Listeners share their experiences, echoing the hosts’ sentiments about the superficial and often exhausting nature of app-based dating. The constant availability and algorithm-driven matches create a paradox of choice, where the abundance of options leads to decision fatigue and reduced satisfaction with potential partners.
Historical Parallels and Moral Panics
Assistant Professor Maura Weigel provides a historical perspective, drawing parallels between the current landscape of online dating and past societal shifts. She discusses the moral panics surrounding dating practices, from the early 1900s' fears of women dating independently to the 1950s' anxieties about teenagers "going steady" amidst economic prosperity.
"There never has been a moment when there wasn't a kind of moral panic going on about dating." ([40:31])
These historical reactions underscore the persistent tensions between evolving social norms and established moral frameworks.
The Disembedding of Social Relationships
Maura Weigel further explores how dating apps have "disembedded" social relationships from traditional contexts like family, workplaces, and communal spaces. This separation intensifies feelings of isolation and undermines the community support systems that historically facilitated meaningful connections.
"Apps do is they disembed us further... There’s something sort of very disorienting about that." ([46:52])
The result is a hyper-individualistic approach to dating that prioritizes convenience over genuine emotional engagement, contributing to the pervasive loneliness observed today.
The Future of Love and Hope for Connection
Despite the challenges, the episode concludes on a hopeful note. The hosts and interviewed experts suggest that while current dating mechanisms may be flawed, the underlying human desire for passion and partnership remains strong. They posit that future innovations and shifts in societal attitudes could reclaim the depth and authenticity lost in the digital pursuit of love.
"We are constantly striving to break free from the traditions of the past and create new ones. And so I leave this story hopeful... finding love might just be a little bit better than it is today." ([53:06])
Conclusion
"History of the Self: Love" encapsulates a comprehensive examination of how love has been shaped by historical movements, cultural shifts, and technological advancements. By intertwining personal narratives with scholarly insights, Throughline offers a nuanced perspective on the enduring quest for meaningful human connection in an increasingly digital world.
Produced by Rund Abdelfatah, Ramtin Arablouei, and the Throughline Team.