Mark Normand & The Confusion and Chaos

Summary

---

TigerBelly – "Mark Normand & The Confusion and Chaos"

Host: Bobby Lee, Khalyla, et al. (All Things Comedy)
Guest: Mark Normand
Air Date: April 1, 2026

---

Episode Overview

This episode features comedian Mark Normand joining Bobby Lee, Khalyla, and friends for a characteristically chaotic, playful, and no-holds-barred conversation. The episode weaves through comedic anecdotes, the intricacies of stand-up, memorable life lessons, celebrity relationships, and the quirks of pop culture—all under the loose banner of “confusion and chaos.” Topics range from struggles in comedy and personal growth to method acting, the dynamics of age-gap relationships, and the universality (and absurdity) of film references.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Life on the Comedy Circuit & Personal Growth

• Name-dropping and Credits: The show opens with playful ribbing around boasting about recent gigs, with Bobby teasing others for “name-dropping” (00:57).
• Handling Anxiety on Stage: Bobby describes “the holding method,” a Comedy Store tradition where a comedian purposely delays going on stage to build resilience against performance anxiety. He recounts lessons from his early days and notes, “It’s about handling anxiety... gives you a little bit more of a challenge on stage” (08:06).
• Learning Moments: The crew discusses what they've learned recently, leading to candid admissions about anxiety and life lessons, including “be quiet, be nice, and always listen” (06:34).

2. Mark Normand Joins the Chaos

• First Interactions: Mark and Bobby reminisce about their first meeting and comedy circuits, with Mark admitting he doesn't always remember who he's met ("I don't remember anybody. Have we met?" – Mark, 14:20).
• Forging Stand-up Specials: Mark promotes his Netflix special "Non To Please" (23:55), sharing insights into the production grind, such as the agony of editing oneself: “You see every dumb movement you make... It’s a nightmare. That’s why I don’t get these sex tape guys” (26:14).

3. Comedy, Humility, and Special Ed Stories

• Multiple hosts and guests share personal stories about being in special education as kids, poking fun at themselves and reflecting on childhood insecurities (11:43). Bobby, for example, shares, "I was in a... I was at an alternative school at one point" (11:58).

4. Physical Comedy & Body Quirks

• Conversations veer into the physical aspects of comedy and stage fright, including discomfort with audience attention, using the microwave at odd hours, and even airplane bathrooms.
• The group riffs on prosthetics and physical differences—faux pas are navigated with playful humor (prosthetic legs, bras, and “three-titted” movie characters like in Total Recall, 29:22).

5. Pop Culture, Movies, and Generational Gaps

• A fast-paced game of “name the movie quote” exposes generational gaps and unique pop-culture touchstones. References span from Forrest Gump to The Rock and Midnight Cowboy, often with comically misattributed guesses (58:07–59:42).
• Mark discusses the disconnect with younger people and classic film references: “My wife...has not seen anything before 1990” (57:49).

6. Celebrity Relationships & Age-Gap Debates

• The crew debates infamous celebrity age gaps, including Al Pacino’s relationship with a much-younger partner and Dick Van Dyke’s marriage (“That would mean...I’m 54, my wife’s being born,” – Bobby, 56:31).
• They explore the possible motivations: money vs. genuine fandom, landing on a playful consensus that fandom could sometimes play a role, but skepticism abounds.

7. Method Acting & Its Extremes

• An extended segment explores method acting tales: Daniel Day-Lewis (throwing axes for weeks!), Jared Leto (dead animals), Christian Bale’s physical transformations, and the meta-antics of Jim Carrey as Andy Kaufman (65:53–74:38).
• Mark and Bobby agree that while effective, such extremes would make for a nightmare friendship: “Brilliant actor, but he goes meta...Method nightmare” (64:48).

8. Diversity in Sports (Skateboarding, UFC)

• There are riffs on the diversity of athletes in skateboarding and UFC. Mark notes: “It’s the most diverse...guy from Korea, Brazil, a white guy, a Russian guy...” (37:40), and Bobby acknowledges his own skateboarding fandom, even sharing stories of dropping in on Tony Hawk’s ramp (43:33).

9. Female-Focused Films & Taste Divides

• The crew debates the appeal of "female movies" (e.g., Pride and Prejudice, The Notebook), with much laughter about which films resonate across genders, and the idea that disaster movies make for better male engagement (84:10–85:01).

10. Self-Perception in Comedy

• Bobby reflects on his place in podcasting: “I do believe that I'm in the top hundred...in terms of comedy hosting” (75:42), with Mark ribbing him and the group sharply self-parodying their own insecurities and quirks.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “It’s about handling anxiety... It gives you a little bit more of a challenge on stage.”
  — Bobby (08:06)

• “You see every dumb movement you make. You hear your... dumb voice. It’s a nightmare. That’s why I don’t get these sex tape guys.”
  — Mark Normand on editing a special (26:14)

• “My wife likes, like, me to make fun of her. She likes being insulted.” — Mark on his marriage (26:33)

• “With my eyes closed, just not moving. This is me having sex.”
  — Bobby (26:47)

• “There was a breast shot in it. Even as a kid, I...paused there too.” — Bobby on 80s B-horror movies (Reanimator) (30:33)

• “I think skaters are risk takers big time. You have to be. You’re jumping downstairs for [expletive]’s sake.” — Mark (37:30)

• “Al Pacino is...85. That’s a lot. That’s old, Trump and Biden put together.”
  — Bobby (67:08)

• “I heard Bill Burr say he should have done it 10 years earlier...and I was like, I better get on this [with having a kid].” — Mark (55:41)

• “You know what I love? Women that date old men, man. It's because they want them to die, right?”
  — Bobby (67:38)

• “Sometimes you don’t laugh when you go, I wish I had that.” — Bobby on jealousy in comedy (75:04)

---

Important Segments & Timestamps

• Comedy circuit stories, credits banter: 00:57–02:28
• Lessons & handling anxiety (holding method): 06:46–08:26
• Special ed, humility discussion: 11:43–13:12
• Mark Normand joins, memory games, Netflix special plug: 14:03–24:00
• The agony of self-editing a comedy special: 25:56–26:14
• Sex, relationships, and body talk: 26:33–29:00
• Celebrity age gaps, Pacino, Dick Van Dyke: 56:30–69:00
• Method acting deep dive: 66:03–74:38
• Generational divide, pop culture references: 57:49–60:12
• "Female films" debate (Pride & Prejudice, The Notebook): 84:00–85:01
• Podcasting rankings, what makes a good host: 75:29–76:12
• Mark on standup writing process: 86:29
• Closing positivity, all giggling together: 87:21–end

---

Tone & Style

Throughout the episode, the tone remains loose, playful, sometimes irreverent, and always self-deprecating. The hosts and Mark maintain a rapid-fire style, with quick asides, overlapping tangents, and sly one-liners. The banter shifts quickly between heartfelt, absurd, and mischievously inappropriate—in true TigerBelly spirit.

---

For New Listeners

This episode is an exemplar of TigerBelly’s wild energy: unpredictably hopping from sharp comedic insight to pop culture rabbit holes, always underpinned by a sense of camaraderie and emotional honesty. Beginner listeners will get a crash course in the group’s humor, neuroses, and affectionately ruthless ribbing—with Mark Normand as the perfect guest to match their tempo.

---

Transcript

[A]

The Bobby Lee the Finally tour is up for sale 2026. You know, I shot a special for Hulu and I'm going to go one strong tour before the special airs. I'll be in Detroit, Indianapolis, Montclair, Atlantic City, Medford, San Antonio, Houston, Dallas, et cetera, et cetera. Go to bobbylee Live to get your tick. Honestly, dude. Honestly, since you've been back, dude, there's an air of confidence I don't like.

[B]

I just opened for Dan Soder.

[A]

Yeah, I understand.

[C]

But.

[A]

But I have credits as well. I did so much this week. I would never tell you what I did.

[B]

Yeah, I just.

[D]

I opened for Kathy this week.

[A]

Yeah, but it's like, I wouldn't yell that stuff out.

[B]

I'm not yelling it out.

[A]

I'm just saying it's it. You're sort of like, name dropping.

[B]

Yeah, I open for Dan Soder. All right, shout out to Dan Soder. He's on tour.

[E]

Who else have you opened up for?

[C]

Yeah, whoever.

[B]

Amir K. Yes. I don't know. Ralph. My boy Ralph. Yeah, he's on tour right now also.

[A]

Who else?

[E]

Who else have you opened up for, man?

[B]

And the one and only Mr. Robert Ely. No, Bobby, I opened it for you, Bobby.

[C]

Yeah, Yeah.

[B]

I text you if I can open the Texas shows.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But it just went green. I was like, oh, he want to change his number.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I put you on block.

[B]

You did? Yeah, yeah, on the block. Like the cholos, you know, like the

[A]

comedy hasn't improved since.

[D]

Yeah, like the wall.

[B]

Yeah, the wall. Just the wall, man. Yeah, I do use a microwave.

[A]

Okay, so do we.

[B]

Yeah, but you're actually using.

[A]

Let me think about that. Let me think about it. I said that I use it, but do I actually use it?

[B]

Your people use it. But do you use it?

[A]

Have I used the microwave historically in my life?

[B]

Have you? In recent times?

[A]

In recent times, when's the last time

[B]

you Woke up at 2 in the morning?

[A]

Not 2. Well, no, there's a specific time.

[E]

He's adding different variants.

[A]

When's the last time?

[E]

April.

[A]

On April 12th, two in the morning. Half moon. Half moon. Half moon. Have you. No, I've probably. Two weeks ago I used a microwave.

[B]

For what?

[A]

I heated up a sandwich.

[B]

A sandwich from where?

[A]

From. From Patsy's.

[B]

What kind of sandwich was a grilled cheese.

[A]

I wanted the cheese to be melted more.

[F]

He's trying so hard to poke holes in this.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Position is this.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Like, why are you challenging me? You don't believe me?

[B]

It's like, I don't think you poop in the airplanes.

[A]

I do.

[D]

It's hard to poop on airplane.

[A]

Yeah, but I have.

[B]

Why have to take a. Can you just wait?

[A]

No, I can't. I have to take a.

[E]

You're a crazy lawyer, man.

[A]

Dude. You're a bad lawyer.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Hey, one of your.

[A]

I was.

[B]

I was talking about. I forgot who I was talking to. This about maybe Dan Soder. Oh, yeah, it was Dan.

[A]

Is it really? Is it really Dan?

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

I was like, would you trust your lawyer if he, like, was in the case and then he tells the judge, hey, he's innocent. Am I right?

[D]

I don't think I trust him.

[A]

I think a Yodel. I would. A lawyer. No, but.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

No, when you trust your lawyer, if he's. If he tells a judge. Am I right?

[D]

This is going to be a fun pod.

[A]

I. I think the rhythm is off.

[D]

It's all.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

Why?

[A]

You can't read rhythms?

[B]

No.

[A]

Are you rhythmless? Are you rhythmless Rim. Dude, what is going on with you? You can't even understand words anymore. I do.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Rhythmless.

[D]

I actually was.

[A]

Say it. One rhythmless rim. Rhythmless.

[B]

Rimless.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I can't say it.

[C]

Dude.

[A]

You can't say rhythm.

[E]

It's okay, though.

[B]

N. It's too fast for me.

[A]

Go slow.

[B]

Slow rhythm.

[F]

There you go.

[A]

There we go. So go. Rhythmless.

[B]

Rimless.

[A]

Okay. Like Romulus. Did you say Romulus?

[B]

Romulus. Alien. That was a good movie.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Yeah, it was. Oh, for Alien. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Your mind's going blank, too.

[A]

I'm not. Because Romulus is also a planet for Romulans. Right? From Star Trek.

[B]

You owe me a Coke.

[A]

I know. I don't.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

All right, well, I got. When you went there.

[B]

Thank you.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

See, I know stuff

[F]

we haven't seen. What else have you learned?

[E]

We haven't seen you in a while.

[A]

Yeah. I want to know what you've learned for, like, a month. It's been a month. Yeah.

[B]

Has it been a month?

[E]

I know, man.

[B]

I don't know. What have I learned?

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

Cat. What has high, Man.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Look at me. Look at me. What have you learned?

[B]

I don't know, man.

[A]

You have learned nothing this last month, Dan. What did Dan Soto teach you?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

What did Soda teach you?

[D]

Someone said I looked like Dan Soder. Is that true?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, a little bit.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

That's funny. She's a woman. That's what you learned, no.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Now what have you learned about life? About, like, you Know how to do. You have learned anything about, like, maintaining your anxiety?

[D]

And I learned a lot this weekend.

[A]

Okay, what'd you learn?

[D]

Oh, I learned about Israel. I learned about Iran.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I learned about a lot of news, history, history, Comedy Store history.

[A]

A lot of Comedy Store history. Yeah.

[E]

What kind of comedy source?

[A]

I can't stuff that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I told her that it's over my dead body.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. He told me he would murder me

[A]

if I would murder me. Because I told her deep, dark secrets.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Of the Comedy Store.

[E]

Positive stuff, though, guys.

[D]

All good stuff.

[A]

All the good stuff. All the good stuff.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I learned about you can get Shake Shack ordered late.

[A]

Yeah, that's. That's a good thing to learn.

[D]

And I learned that you should always listen and.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Be quiet.

[C]

Yes.

[F]

Real advice.

[A]

Real advice.

[D]

And be nice.

[A]

And also the. The holding method.

[D]

Which one? The holding. Oh, the holding method.

[A]

Did you hear it here? I told you. I taught you about the holding method. Holding method of not going on stage.

[D]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The holding method where you just sit in your chair and then Bobby holds you down.

[A]

No, I don't hold you down.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I'll hug you.

[D]

He hugs you.

[F]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Hugs you down.

[A]

Yeah, I don't hold you down.

[D]

And then.

[A]

What are you talking about?

[D]

And then you go, I really gotta go. And he goes, no, no, no, no, no.

[E]

Oh, that method.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But then what did I teach?

[D]

And then you stayed there.

[B]

So.

[A]

So they said my name and how long did I stay. Sit down for? Before.

[D]

Too long.

[E]

I'm like, I've seen you do this before.

[F]

How long did you do this?

[D]

It was wild. Like. No, his to cool, calm, collected. Could have gone. Gone away, Come back. You were just in your zone. Probably maybe three minutes. Three or four.

[E]

And who was hosting?

[A]

Kathy.

[E]

Oh, you. Oh, my God.

[A]

He goes, bobby, we. Right. And then I just sat there and I just talked to people to teach you a lesson. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

So cool.

[F]

And what was that lesson, Cat?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I don't think you got the lesson, but try to explain the lesson, though.

[D]

I think it's about being in control and showing, like, resilience and. Right. Or just like, not letting it overcome you stress and saying, this is my show. Right?

[A]

No. Oh, no, It's. It's about handling anxiety.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And also the panic.

[D]

Panic.

[A]

And it also teaches you. It gives you a little bit more of a challenge on stage, you know, just a little.

[D]

Did they do that to you when you were.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

All the time.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

How. How long would Someone like five minutes. Five minutes.

[E]

Five minutes where you went up?

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Who?

[A]

I can't tell you that. It's.

[E]

Well, it's either. But you or.

[D]

You must have been squirming, right? You could have.

[A]

No, I learned it.

[D]

Do you. You just.

[A]

So I just sit there instead of struggled.

[E]

What would be your opener when you walked out?

[A]

I go, they made me.

[C]

Just tell the truth.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. They locked me in a room. They locked me in a room, and they wouldn't let me come out for five minutes. I swear to God.

[D]

Did they really lock you in a room?

[A]

Lock me, but, like, you know, teaching me patience.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

So what did you do when you were.

[A]

I didn't do it to her.

[D]

You didn't do it?

[A]

I don't do two women.

[D]

Yeah. Not yet. I don't.

[A]

No. No, no. No women.

[D]

But I would like to. I'd like you to do that.

[A]

Are you sure?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

I want to try it.

[A]

Try it.

[D]

I want to see what that feels like.

[A]

Yeah, because you feel good.

[D]

I know it doesn't feel good, but maybe that's part of it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Actually, when I did it over the weekend, it felt pretty good.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I didn't want to go up.

[D]

I know.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I did not wanna. I mean, I got in the rhythm of being there, but it's. I had the busiest week of my lifetime, so it was like. And I'm so tired, and I. I'll be honest with you. I don't know how I'm gonna get through this podcast, but.

[E]

How many places you travel to?

[A]

Saturday.

[E]

That was so good, brother.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah, I like that.

[A]

Yeah. Do you like that?

[E]

Sounded good.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Saturday. What happened? You flew in, dude.

[A]

Don't talk to me like that.

[E]

That energy I love, though.

[A]

I love it like that. To be like, that high.

[E]

Mate's great, but that's good rhythm, Jaime. I love that rhythm.

[A]

That's really good.

[B]

I don't.

[E]

He doesn't know what he's doing.

[A]

You don't even know. You didn't feel the rhythm there, you know? I learned. Yeah. Okay. It took me that long to learn. Figure out what you learned. Go ahead.

[B]

I did a couple shows, and, like, people come up to me and, like, they're like, bro, you're like, the funniest guy I've seen. I'm like, I don't know.

[E]

He's learned.

[F]

Hey, hey, Bobby, wait.

[A]

Bobby, like, let him go.

[B]

I don't get it.

[F]

Cook.

[A]

Let him cook.

[B]

I don't get why. I don't.

[A]

I don't Sorry. That's the same thing he did with the S dance odor thing. Is that what you learned? You got recognized and complimented. Complimented. And then what happened?

[B]

I'm like, oh, thank you. But, like, I, I think to myself, like, I don't get what I have. Like, I don't.

[A]

Oh, my God. It's the grossest thing you've ever said. Oh, I love it. That.

[B]

Oh, that's the grossest thing I ever said.

[A]

It's not the.

[B]

I'm coming. Remember that one?

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

That was the second thing. Grossest thing you've ever said.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

That love. Really?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That was bad.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

That's not. You learn that about yourself. Humility, humidity. You learned humility?

[B]

Humidity? Yeah.

[A]

Humidity.

[B]

No, I don't know. I don't know what I have. You know?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Can I guess what you have?

[B]

I can tell you.

[A]

Tell me what?

[B]

Well, in special ed, that's how you can't laugh.

[A]

I bet my bat. Matt. I don't know was. No, you were in special ed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[B]

That's the same response. Whenever my PE teacher found out I

[D]

was in special ed, too.

[A]

Are you really?

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

Is it a. Is it special ed or a different type of class?

[B]

It's a department.

[D]

I was just slow.

[E]

I was in a class, too.

[A]

Yeah, I was in a class, too, with two people.

[D]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah, Yeah, I was in a. I was at an alternative school at one point.

[D]

Really?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

For what?

[A]

For being, for, like, being slow?

[D]

Yeah, I was slow.

[A]

I couldn't read very fast. Yeah, I couldn't. I couldn't read backwards either.

[D]

I couldn't. I still can't.

[A]

Couldn't read.

[E]

Japanese makeup.

[A]

Yeah, Japanese or Latin or anything.

[D]

Yeah, me neither.

[B]

On my last day, sixth grade, my special ed teacher, one of them, she

[A]

was like, why you smiling, Gilbert?

[E]

I'm not, bro.

[A]

Yeah, you want.

[B]

Why you smiling, Gilbert?

[F]

Dude.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

You are happy to see everyone here.

[A]

I, I, I know you're happy to see us, bud, but don't smile at that. Sorry. Sorry.

[E]

One more time.

[A]

Yeah, you're smiling now.

[B]

On the last day of school. Six, sixth grade, my sp.

[A]

What kind of school?

[D]

Especially at school.

[B]

No, it was a regular school. They had a different building. My special ed teacher told me.

[A]

They have special ed teachers at regular school.

[B]

Yes. You know, how much a waste would that be to have two different schools?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Just put everybody in one.

[A]

Oh, oh, I see. They're saving money and you're down. All types of teachers comes in. Yeah. Yeah, you're fizz ad. You're doing biology.

[B]

That's what it is. Mesquite, Texas. Fix yourself.

[A]

I want to sit there and talk to these people,

[B]

cuz we're in special ed day.

[C]

Dude.

[A]

What are you even talking about?

[F]

Dude.

[B]

Manwood.

[E]

Hey.

[F]

How cute are you?

[B]

Hey, what's up?

[F]

Hey, Mark.

[A]

Great.

[B]

Mark.

[F]

All right. Just messing with you.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What's.

[F]

What's his name? Hey, it's Umberto. Jimmy Kimmel. Right.

[A]

Do you ever remember meeting him at the.

[F]

What? The last one.

[A]

No, no, no. And anywhere outside of this place.

[B]

Can I refresh his memory?

[A]

No, no, no, no. You can't refresh. You can't refresh.

[E]

You were very confident that Mark Norman would know who you are, bro.

[F]

Oh, God, you've already started. Yeah. Oh, wait a minute.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Let's see.

[F]

Carnies. Yeah.

[A]

With who?

[E]

What does that mean?

[F]

I thought you were working the grill. Not that night, no. What's up? Give it to. I don't remember anybody. Have we met? Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Can you guess? Can you guess?

[E]

She wasn't confident.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. She wasn't that confident, though. Can you guess?

[F]

The comedy club.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Which one, though?

[B]

She doesn't have headphones in.

[A]

Oh, he doesn't. Oh, he already heard it.

[F]

Yeah, I didn't hear anything.

[A]

Did you really?

[F]

Wait, I saw it.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

Oh, I met you with ice.

[D]

Yes.

[F]

We got rid of a guy.

[A]

Yeah, we got rid of a guy together.

[F]

And you're Jimmy. Oh, yeah.

[D]

That's gonna be back.

[F]

You've never heard that, I'm sure.

[A]

You do headphones or.

[F]

No, no, I never touched.

[A]

No, you never touched them. Okay, let's.

[F]

Do we do calls or anything?

[A]

No, we don't do calls.

[F]

All right, great.

[A]

Yeah, no, we're not doing calls. No, no, we don't do calls.

[F]

Hey, you changed it up.

[A]

We did, yeah. Yeah. I change it up every couple years, you know, a little bit.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's funny because before you got here, Mark, Jaime was saying like. Yeah, no, we go way back. You know what I mean?

[B]

I was not saying that.

[A]

He'll definitely know me. We've hung out this and that.

[E]

I opened up for Dan Soder.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[F]

Oh, nice.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

So what are. He's a dance, so. And I. I made a bet that he wouldn't remember and I. I won that bet.

[F]

There you go.

[A]

I. Cat wasn't as confident.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

So Cat was like. I don't think he'll remember. But you. She opened for you at the Ice House.

[F]

Okay.

[A]

Right.

[F]

Oh, I Do remember that?

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Do you really?

[F]

I remember that. Yes.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's a very funny new comic. And sorry, I'm so apologize.

[F]

Oh, go nuts. I'm the burp king.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Far too a lot, huh?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

I already farted on this guy. H. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

See, we already said it.

[F]

Oh, did you say it?

[B]

I don't remember.

[A]

Oh, oh, really? You do remember Jaime, then.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And do you know the comic that he's best friends with?

[F]

Soder?

[A]

No, no,

[C]

no, It's.

[B]

Tell him you know my boy, Ralph Barboza.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

That's how he said, what's up?

[F]

Hey, Ralph.

[A]

No, no, he doesn't.

[F]

No, he doesn't.

[A]

No, he doesn't.

[E]

What's up?

[F]

Wait.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

He said, what's up? And congrats on your new special.

[F]

Thank you.

[A]

He really did say that.

[F]

Yeah. Thank you.

[A]

No, I believe you now.

[B]

Can't call him.

[A]

No, no, no, no. Don't call him. Please don't call.

[F]

Okay. All right.

[A]

I don't want.

[B]

He wants to talk to Mark.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, but then have book. Book a thing.

[B]

I call him right now.

[A]

No, no, don't.

[B]

Because last time you didn't believe me.

[A]

No, I believe. I just said I believed you. I just said I believed you.

[B]

Mark. Him.

[F]

No, no.

[A]

If you call him, dude, you're leaving.

[F]

Whoa. Please call him. Is he doing all right? Yeah. Young and rich. I'm worried about him.

[A]

Call him.

[B]

Call him, Luke.

[F]

All right,

[A]

You guys, I'm 54 years old, sir. Yes, ma'. Am. And I love. Dude, I love Bluetooth. Because, you know, a lot of time when you get older, it's. It. It's harder to get the party going.

[D]

I understand.

[A]

Right. And something. What?

[B]

You can say that again.

[A]

It's hard to get the party going. And you know, I'm telling you right now, dude, I'm on a date, right? I know. We're gonna hook up, right? She comes over the house, right? About 20 minutes. 30 minutes before you take. You chew on. You can even chew it.

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's why they call it Blue chill.

[D]

Oh.

[A]

It's chewy, right? I chew. Chew one down, dude. And I am on. And it's party time. USA Blue Chew gold dissolves under your tongue. They're Blue Chew gold now, right? And it works in as little as 15 minutes.

[E]

So fast.

[A]

Yeah. That means you can get it on Jaime quicker and stay in the game longer. Elevation without hesitation.

[D]

This is peak passion and peak performance in a single tablet.

[A]

Thank you, Catherine. For saying that.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options. @bluechew.com we've got a special deal for our listeners. Get 10% off your first month of Bluechew gold with Code Belly. That's promo code belly. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. We thank Bluechew for sponsoring the podcast.

[A]

Lola right now. Dude, I have a Lola blanket on me. You look cute. I got this as a gift, dude. It's it. Honestly, do so touch it.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Soft and also. What?

[F]

Cool.

[D]

Oh.

[A]

Lola is the world's number one blanket. I'm telling you right now. I sleep with Lola, dude. Crafted with ultra soft luxury faux fur and a signature four way stretch. The kind of quality that instantly feels gift worthy. Great gift. It's. It's machine washable, Catherine. Double hemmed and built to last for years. Making it truly meaningful. It's a long term gift actually, is what I'm trying to say.

[D]

Yes. And it stays flawless. No shedding, no pilling, no delicate care worries. Which makes it a gift people can actually enjoy every day.

[B]

It works for everyone. Family, friends, partners, co workers, host, new parents and even those.

[A]

I have no idea what to get to people. Right. Because sometimes you don't know what to get. I don't know. Is that what you're saying?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And Lola isn't just a blanket. Jaime. Look at me right now. It's a home upgrade gift. It instantly elevates any space, making it feel warm, cozy and stylized.

[B]

You look cute.

[A]

Lola Blancas has collabed with a number of amazing designers. They've done limited editions with Tezza Harmony bios. Oh, Rachel.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

But you've got to move fast. These drops always sell out.

[D]

Yeah. Lola also makes weighted blankets for calming and therapeutic vibes.

[A]

Dude, I feel so therapeutic right now.

[D]

You look therapy.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. Don't miss the matching pillows. They look amazing. And you save when bundling.

[F]

Ah.

[B]

I have the large. It is perfect for cozying up. Solo or someone else.

[E]

Is it solo or you with someone else?

[B]

Oh, with someone else.

[D]

Nice.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

With Bobby?

[A]

I don't think so.

[E]

For a limited time, our listeners can get 40% off select Lola blanket products with Code Belly at checkout. Just head to lolablankets.com and use code Belly. After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard them. Please support our show and let them know we sent you.

[F]

Wrap yourself in luxury with Lola blankets.

[D]

Lola.

[F]

All right.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

Caffeine just got a flavor upgrade. Five hour energy shots bring you tasty caffeine and not one, not two, but 17 flavors. There are so many to choose from. You got Fruity Rainbow five Hour Energy. You got Confetti Craze, five Hour Energy. You got Cotton Candy five Hour Energy. These are all amazing flavors, but my favorite is Cotton Candy five Hour Energy Shots. It's a delicious swirl of sugary clouds. And guess what? I like my caffeine with a little fruitful twist with a hint of vanilla. It's a little. How do you say, Carnival magic, little Ferris wheel action. A little fun in your bottle. Enjoy a variety of bold flavors with as much caffeine as a 12 oz premium cup of coffee, but with zero sugar and zero sugar. Crash big flavor in a tiny bottle. 5 hour energy shots. Pack the flavors of the season in a portable 2oz shot. Give your caffeine a flavor upgrade with 5 Hour Energy Shots. Get yours in store and online at www.5hourenergy.com or Amazon today.

[A]

But you get one shot at this if he doesn't pick up.

[F]

Dude.

[B]

Yeah. Louder.

[A]

Louder.

[B]

Hey, yo, I'm here with Bobby and guess who else?

[C]

Wait, wait, no.

[B]

Guess who else?

[F]

Wow. How'd you do that?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then. Did you want to say something to Mark? Norman Ralph.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Congrats on the special.

[F]

Thank you, man. I miss you.

[A]

I'll miss you, too. I haven't paid you 50 bucks to say this.

[B]

Bye.

[A]

All right, all right, all right. Jaime.

[C]

You got it.

[A]

You got it.

[F]

Thank you.

[A]

Thank you, Heim. We believe you, Heimman. Yeah. So I think. I believe this to be true. That Mark probably will not forget about you ever again.

[F]

Never again.

[A]

Never again.

[F]

Not that face.

[A]

Not that face. And I think Cat probably not either.

[D]

Really?

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

No, I remember the teeth. Oh, yeah, yeah. Great teeth.

[C]

Big teeth.

[F]

Not a nice teeth. Good teeth.

[A]

But do you think they can be smaller?

[F]

No.

[A]

Okay.

[F]

What are you doing to me here? What is this? You. Are you on the ones and twos these days?

[A]

No. You know, sometimes I. Sometimes I. You can't hear because. But it's okay. We'll play later.

[F]

All right. All right.

[A]

I did, but you don't have the headphones on.

[F]

Oh, all right, well, I'll put them on if you're gonna play.

[A]

I'm not gonna play.

[F]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

So this is just a weird setup. I've never.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, so funny. Sometimes I don't play it. And why is it there?

[E]

I don't know.

[C]

It's a thing now. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Is there. Is there a thing where it could Be off to the side.

[E]

Pretty difficult.

[A]

It's a difficult apparatus.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

All right. So, yeah, this is it.

[F]

Just. Just in case.

[A]

I mean, you know, I can't get. Anyway, he has a new special called Non To Please. Where is that at?

[F]

Shot it in Boulder. It's on Netflix.

[A]

It's on Netflix. And when does it come. Is that already out?

[F]

It's out, man.

[A]

Oh, it's out.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Wow.

[F]

We're in the top 10. So we're trying to keep it that way. That's why I'm here.

[A]

Wow. It's nice and tan as well.

[F]

That's all photo. It is, yeah. Look at me.

[A]

I know, but is that a shot from your special? Did you take another photo?

[F]

That's from the special.

[A]

All right.

[F]

And then they cleaned it all up with stuff.

[A]

Yeah. Because I have a special coming out and I. I don't know how that works. You know, I mean, Hulu. Hulu.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, do you. So they. They gave me a thousand photos or whatever.

[F]

Yeah, right.

[A]

And then you go, which ones do you want?

[F]

I know, right?

[A]

So then you pick out the ones you like.

[F]

Yeah, right.

[A]

But are there ones on there that are just so bad? I mean, of course. Oh, my God. There's something. There's like, why would you even shoot it from that angle?

[F]

And they. They sent me a bunch. They said, pick three or whatever. I picked three. And they didn't even use the three I picked, so I had to go back in and redo it. They don't even listen.

[A]

They don't even listen.

[F]

No.

[A]

And then go back to the poster real quick.

[F]

There it is.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Now, do you. I had a problem with fonts.

[B]

Ah.

[A]

You know what I mean? That was a whole two week thing of like, what fonts? I go, I don't know.

[F]

So you're particular.

[A]

You're. You don't care.

[F]

I care a little, but I'm not going. Two weeks on a phone.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You don't do two weeks on a font.

[F]

No.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Did you pick that font?

[F]

No, I picked the colors, but they sent me a couple and I just went with that one.

[A]

Oh, so that's what I should do.

[F]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Let them do the work and then I'll pick five. One of five.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

I just wanted to hear you pronounce Hulu. That's why I'm here today.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, that's it.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

I'm so proud of you for doing this.

[A]

Oh, thanks, man.

[F]

This is exciting.

[A]

Yeah, I guess it is.

[F]

Oh, what, are you kidding?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

Oh, it's good.

[A]

I saw it the first time.

[F]

Okay.

[A]

Right. The first cut. And I was sat back and I. And I was just taking it all in. I was like. That was okay. The second time, oh, my God. I said, I can never come back in here again.

[F]

Whoa.

[A]

I could not watch it again. Oh, watching it, the whole thing from beginning to end.

[F]

It's a nightmare.

[A]

It's. Well, why are we going. Whoa.

[F]

I thought you meant doing a second set. That was.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about one, you know, in the editing.

[F]

Oh, it's hell on earth.

[A]

It's. Is it not?

[F]

It's brutal.

[A]

It's brutal. Why now tell me why it's brutal.

[F]

Because you don't want to see yourself. You see every dumb movement you make. You hear your. My dumb voice. It's a nightmare. That's why I don't get these sex tape guys. I'm like, are you kidding? Like, watching my stand up is bad enough.

[A]

I'm noiseless.

[F]

Same.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

You don't want this voice.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. No, but are you quiet and sex?

[F]

Oh, yeah. My wife likes, like, me to make fun of her. She likes being insulted.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

So I'm like, ah, you're retard. You know?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I've been told that. Are you dead? That's how quiet I've been.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

I mean. Yeah.

[A]

With my eyes closed, just not moving. Yeah. This is me having sex.

[F]

Top or bottom?

[A]

Yeah. Every position.

[F]

All right.

[A]

On the side with the carrying.

[C]

Yeah, the leg.

[F]

Okay.

[A]

You know that move?

[F]

Oh, I love that move.

[A]

What do you call that move?

[D]

Wait, the legs up here.

[B]

One leg?

[F]

Yeah. One leg.

[A]

Yeah. Not both legs.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[A]

I've done both legs. I'm not a lumberjack. It's just harder, you know? I mean, it makes me feel like I'm in North Korea.

[F]

So who is this guy?

[A]

But. But the one leg. You. I have made, but it's more of like, I'm exercising.

[F]

I used to sleep with a woman who had one leg.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

She had a fake and.

[A]

Oh, crazy.

[F]

So she had the legs up?

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

She was laying down, I was standing up.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

And I went to. We finished. I went to pee and the leg was still on me. They call her Peg.

[A]

Are you really? That was a true story.

[F]

That's a true story. Years and years.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Did you purposely carry it as a joke?

[F]

No, I was just. So we were drunk and in the moment bathroom, and I had a leg on Eileen.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So you had the leg on it. Are they heavy?

[F]

No, they're very light.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

They're. What is it? They're hollow.

[A]

Yeah, they're hollow like silicone. Yeah. And imagine the new legs now are probably lighter, even probably titanium. Titanium. And very light and durable, I expect.

[F]

Yeah, yeah, you'd imagine.

[A]

And realistic, almost.

[F]

Sure. Pull them up. I'm sure we can get them.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Oh, you don't have to.

[F]

You're gonna need a foot at some point.

[A]

Wait, say that again. I. I'll repeat it.

[F]

Okay.

[A]

If I may, you might need a foot one day because you have your diabetes.

[F]

Thank you.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

How do you know how I don't have diabetes?

[F]

I'm just joking.

[A]

Comedy show.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

We're talking about the rhythm.

[E]

Pretty realistic.

[F]

Whoa.

[E]

Actually realistic.

[A]

Dude, if the white wasn't exp. I would not know that. That's the favorite 100.

[D]

I'd like to get some of those boobs. Do you think they do those?

[A]

Oh, just get them done.

[D]

No, no, no. But I don't want them to go inside. I would just like to have them outside.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah. So you can take them off.

[A]

Don't bras do that?

[D]

Yeah, I guess so. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because if. If I'm with you, like, you know, me and you had the fake ones on, I would be able to see the line.

[D]

Well, maybe they. Maybe they blend them in now. I don't know. Maybe they can be part of the next make.

[A]

Like, make up them in.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

[A]

Like, you're gonna Star Trek it. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna. And get makeup and hair and the whole thing.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

Remember the three tits from Total Recall?

[A]

Oh, I do. How do I remember?

[F]

Come on.

[A]

Did you ever pause on that?

[F]

Of course.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

What'd you do when you paused on it?

[F]

Well, you've rubbed one out. The three title.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

If they can do that, then they can do yours.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

But that. That's Hollywood magic, too.

[F]

That's true.

[A]

Yeah. There's editing, I think there's post.

[F]

Wow.

[A]

That's the new one.

[D]

That kind of looks like me.

[F]

No, that's not new.

[A]

Yeah, no, because there's two total recalls.

[F]

I know that.

[A]

Yeah. So that's the second total recall.

[F]

So they read this one. That's the new one.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no.

[F]

That's old.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

That is old.

[A]

Yeah, you're right. That's the old one. That's the old one.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

There's a new and old. And that's the. That's the old one.

[F]

Looking back, they're a little ball baggy.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Actually, I don't.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Care for them as much as I remember.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

But it was pre Internet form.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Wow. Yeah, I remember that. I remember pausing that. There was another movie called oh my God.

[F]

I bet she gets stopped in the street all day long of what as like. Oh, you're the three title. I'm sure she could stop.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

What a claim to fame.

[A]

There was another movie that. This is pre porn called Reanimator. And there was a quick brush shot there. I used to pause there too.

[F]

Oh, I don't know. Reanimated.

[A]

Yeah, it was a horror movie. Very B movie. A horror movie in the early 80s.

[F]

Okay.

[A]

It was called Reanimator and there was a breast shot in it.

[F]

Who did it first?

[A]

I think Reanimator did it first and it was still an R rated movie. That was the movie.

[F]

Look at how old that looks. Cool.

[A]

You can't find a breast shot in there.

[E]

I'll look for breast shots.

[A]

Please, please. Look shot.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

It was a terrifying movie.

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And I think in the movie she had no head.

[F]

Whoa. Even better.

[A]

And I still paused.

[F]

All right. It's like my wife, no head. Hey, I gotta hide me.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

How is that going?

[F]

It's going great. We got a little baby now.

[A]

Wow.

[F]

One years old. He's walking. He's cute.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Is it worth is?

[F]

The first four months are hell on earth. It's like boot camp. He's just, he's crying, you get no sleep, you want to kill yourself. And now he's cute. When you walk in, he goes, hey, what's shaking?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Oh, really?

[F]

Yeah. Now it's fun.

[A]

It's fun now.

[F]

I didn't realize how much of a kid is ego because you walk in, the kid's like, oh, you're like, hey, that feels good.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[F]

Kind of hit your ego. Which no one, no one confesses to.

[A]

Well, do you think it's because were you like that as a little baby? You think?

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Confident.

[F]

Not confident. But I was very happy to see people. I was always jumping up and down.

[A]

Oh, really?

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

So it's hereditary.

[F]

Maybe. Yeah, sure. You're a happy girl.

[A]

No, I was. I've always had a thought. This is the thought I've always had. Like, why am I here?

[D]

As a baby?

[A]

Even as a kid. Oh. The longest I can remember is like,

[F]

what is this sad Asian baby? Yeah. What? Korea. Were you north or south? Oh, there you are. Well, that makes sense. You're under a dictatorship.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

It was terrible. My dad worked at a meth lab. It was terrible.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Meth is the meth lab.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

What do you mean?

[D]

Remember you had that funny joke about the meth lab and how they pay them?

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. So, Well, I mean, I just deep web. I went and they have meth labs in North Korea, and the way they pay the North Koreans is with more meth.

[F]

Oh, wow.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? I'm gonna work for more hour. And they're like, you know what I mean? It's to 86 hours, right?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

So it's a really good way to pay your workers, I think.

[F]

Sure. But I mean, I used to work at a pizza shop, and after a while, you get sick of pizza. You think you get sick of meth.

[A]

Yeah, but. But pizza doesn't, like, make you addiction.

[F]

Yeah, good point. Good point. Oh, I'll tell that to Fluffy. I love you, Fluff.

[A]

We love you, Fluff.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Lose some. You know,

[F]

if he loses something, he'll lose his career, I guess.

[A]

I don't know. I think he has a big enough audience where people. You're like, oh, he's gonna live.

[F]

Yeah, It's a good point.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

Because big. Now everybody's on it.

[A]

Yeah, but I can't imagine. I mean, I don't want to. I don't. You know me on this podcast, you know, I don't like shaming anybody.

[F]

No.

[C]

Yeah, no.

[F]

Except Jaime.

[A]

Except. I mean.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fair.

[A]

That's fair.

[F]

And you getting on the hosimp.

[B]

Never.

[A]

Come on.

[F]

Really?

[B]

Afford it.

[F]

It is expensive.

[A]

It is expensive. You're right. You're right. But if you could afford it, would you get on it?

[B]

No.

[F]

Good for you.

[A]

Good for you.

[F]

Write it out.

[A]

You think you could lose it? Oh, you like being hefty?

[B]

No, I'm gonna. I'm trying to lose it.

[A]

Oh, you are.

[F]

The real way.

[B]

The real way.

[F]

Yeah. I respect that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What are you doing? One less to keep.

[B]

Not like these gas prices.

[D]

I think they're going up.

[A]

That didn't make any sense.

[F]

I didn't get it.

[A]

Yeah, I didn't get it.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I understand. Okay, explain the joke.

[B]

There's no joke.

[A]

No, I'm due to comedy.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I know, but can you explain the joke? Economy.

[B]

Hey, these guys presses.

[F]

Yeah, okay. In this economy, you know, I get it.

[B]

Am I right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Am I right?

[F]

All right, okay.

[A]

Really good stuff.

[B]

Okay. But, yeah, I'm trying to lose weight. I don't drink anymore, so.

[F]

That's good. That helps.

[A]

That helps a lot. It helps a lot.

[B]

But I pick up food now, so.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[B]

I eat when I'm bored and I eat when I'm not bored, so.

[A]

I thought you were losing weight.

[D]

It.

[B]

I'm trying to lose weight, but I

[A]

can't by eating more.

[D]

Are you eating salads?

[B]

No.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

He's very particular. Like, he. The first time he ever eats sushi was here.

[F]

Hey. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I hated it.

[F]

What?

[A]

Yeah, he didn't like it. You're a sushi guy, right?

[F]

Loves. I like all those foods.

[C]

Yeah, you do.

[F]

Bring them on.

[A]

You're a skater.

[F]

Sure. Not anymore, but. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

What does that have to do with food?

[D]

Well, yeah. How? What?

[A]

Well, may I explain? Yeah, you know, I mean, I'm not like him. Where. I don't have explanation. I mean, I.

[B]

If you get it, you get it, right?

[F]

You just have a catchphrase. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[B]

You can say that again.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

You know what I'm talking about?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

When you talked about the gas prices, though, Mark did a thing where. I've never seen Mark do this, where he actually scratched his head a little.

[F]

Oh, wow.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I've never seen you scratch your head.

[F]

I was trying to figure out the joke.

[A]

There is no figuring out. That's the thing.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

It makes no sense.

[F]

All right.

[C]

Yeah, Yeah.

[F]

I thought if you were on this pod, you were good. That's what I was assuming. So I was like, maybe it's me, but now I know.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know. You know why he's here?

[F]

I don't.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

Why are you. What's going on?

[A]

It's this.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

You mean the confusion.

[F]

Oh, you like the confusion.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I like.

[F]

All right.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

You want the chaos.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Oh, the skater thing. Back to the skater thing.

[F]

Sure.

[A]

My belief is, is that they're world traveled.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, they go to Brazil. Right. They go to Japan probably a lot now.

[F]

I think back when. Back in our day, it was a bunch of white trash.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. But still there was, like, really good black skaters that. You have. Daewon song. You have. You have.

[F]

Is he black?

[A]

No, but he's Filipino.

[F]

Y. Asian. Oh. We had, like, diversity.

[A]

You had diversity. Right. And it's also. Some Asian food's probably cheaper. Let's go get Chinese food. I mean, that's what I. I always think that, like, you know, in my Mind skaters are more liberal.

[F]

I could see that. What were punky.

[A]

It's punky. It's. You know what I mean? I knew a lot of skaters that were like, even anti drug, you know.

[F]

Yeah. It's very artsy fartsy.

[A]

Artsy farts.

[F]

We were drawing a lot. Spray painting shit.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Ed Templet and his.

[F]

Yes.

[A]

Am I not right?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And what?

[B]

You're right.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

So to me, it's like, you know, I mean, I. I wouldn't. I couldn't hear myself, a skater say, I don't like sushi.

[F]

Right.

[A]

What I meant by it.

[D]

But maybe they would be vegan. Do you think that.

[A]

So I. Yeah, I believe that some even skaters would be even vegan. I mean, we could talk about right now the pros and cons of what skaters are like, if you want. If you want to. But it's like, I think that skaters are risk takers big time.

[F]

You have to be. You jumping downstairs for sake. You know who I would say is the kind of. And this is going to. Not. You're not going to agree with me.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

But I think ufc. I don't know if you watch it.

[A]

I do.

[F]

It's similar. It's the most diverse. It's like a guy from Korea and then a guy from Brazil, then a white guy, then a Russian guy that.

[A]

Yeah, we know. We know all of them.

[E]

Okay. Those are all the races you want to go through.

[A]

All of them.

[F]

Keep going.

[A]

But there's no Eskimo.

[F]

It's also weird because it's like the most bright Eskimo there might be. There might be.

[A]

Yeah. I've never seen. Let's talk about the ones that we haven't seen.

[F]

Okay. There's a lot of Eskimo.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Have you seen a Samoan?

[F]

Yeah, there's Samoan, Fijian. Nobody lives there, you know about.

[A]

You. You know about ufc, right?

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

Mark Hunt, he's got that, like, you know.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

Polynesian or something.

[A]

Okay. I guess that's the same umbrella.

[D]

Trans.

[F]

Yeah, there was a trans.

[A]

There was a trans. There was a trans.

[F]

Beat the out of a lady, broke her orbital soccer.

[A]

Are you being real?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

So that guy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

There was also a guy with no chest.

[F]

Huh?

[D]

What?

[A]

Do you remember that guy? He had like one chest missing.

[F]

You talking about cat?

[A]

All right. Do you remember what was his name?

[E]

Oh, he was missing.

[A]

There was like the old UFC where he had a complete chest. Missing.

[E]

Missing a pet.

[A]

He was. Yeah. Missing a pack. Look that dude up.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Whoa.

[A]

You have that. Of that.

[F]

Gregory. No, Peck. Whoa.

[C]

Yes.

[F]

What was his name?

[A]

Yeah, so he had. Yeah. So we've had Chessless.

[F]

Chestless.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

Michael Bisbeck has a fake eye.

[A]

So blind. Half.

[F]

Blind disability.

[C]

Yeah, Yeah, I guess.

[A]

Yeah. So we have the disabilities.

[F]

Yep.

[A]

No midget, dwarf. I mean, little people, and I think.

[F]

What? That's true.

[A]

Yeah. No little people.

[F]

There's a guy called Mighty Mouse who's very little, but.

[A]

Demetrius Johnson.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[F]

You know your stuff.

[A]

Well, I know at ufc.

[F]

Okay.

[A]

You asked me.

[F]

All right. But then the women ufc, I. I feel like, almost at par with the men's, where, like, WNBA and other stuff, people don't take it seriously. Whereas ufc, they do one of the few.

[A]

Well, I think, you know, Joanna Yanjiangch, when she first came around, the precision of her punching was, like, very accurate and. Yeah, that's always a huge fan.

[F]

Oh, yeah, yeah. The Stranger Things lady with the shaved head.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And then Cyborg Shevchenko with her kicks.

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

They'll break any man's ribs, don't you think, Shenko?

[E]

Now Rhonda Rousey's fighting.

[F]

Oh.

[A]

Oh, she's. She's coming back. Yeah. But there was one fighter that to me, and I'm. I'm. She's very skillful, but she seemed a little clumsy. Is Holly Holm.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[F]

She did knock out Rousey, though.

[A]

She did not. Got Rousey with a kick.

[F]

Oh, is it a kick?

[A]

I think it was a kick to the face when Rousey was doing a little turnaround.

[F]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Yeah. She was, like, a little confused. And then it was like. It was sort of like, I see Stephen Thompson.

[E]

You.

[F]

I mean, Wonder Boy.

[A]

Yes, Wonder Boy, Stephen Thompson. You know, invisible kick.

[F]

Got it.

[A]

You know what I mean? Well, you can't see it coming. Almost.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, do you. Are you impressed that I know what I know, or. No?

[E]

You remember a lot of this stuff, huh?

[A]

What do you even remember? I'm still now caught up now.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I'm caught up now. Ask me now, who's the current heavyweight champion? Exactly, dude. That's exactly what I'm saying.

[F]

Right.

[E]

My bad dog.

[A]

I mean, technically, Jon Jones should be.

[F]

He should be, but he's. He likes the coke.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But technically, he's the heavyweight champion.

[F]

He's very good.

[A]

He's not.

[E]

No, technically, he's not anymore, but.

[A]

But. Well, he hasn't lost. Did he lose his belt?

[E]

No, he just would not fight the new interim champion.

[A]

Who is that?

[E]

Tom Aspinall.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

He's a British guy.

[A]

Okay. Why wouldn't he fight Tom?

[E]

Tom's good.

[A]

Oh, oh, so you think that if Tom Espinal fought Jon Jones that.

[E]

I think you should go to deep dive. I think you'll.

[A]

You think. You think Tom ESP with win.

[E]

He's pretty good the go, but Tom's, like, in his early 30s. John's, like, close to 40 now.

[F]

And John's put on a couple lbs. You know what I'm talking? Doing your move.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Am I right?

[A]

Yeah. In terms of skating, you two. You think that the Japanese now have.

[F]

Unbelievable.

[A]

I think they have. You know, there's a kid. Is it Junwo June Woo. The girl, Jin Woo. He's a boy. He wears socks up to his ankles.

[F]

Oh, I've seen him.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Jin Woo.

[F]

Does he have long hair?

[A]

He has long hair.

[F]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

This kid.

[F]

Dude, I think they have smaller. They have, like, hollow bones, like Japanese. They're just lighter somehow.

[A]

Oh, you think it's light.

[F]

Something's going on.

[A]

I. I think it has to do with, like, they're dying. No, we have to be precise.

[F]

Oh, that makes sense.

[A]

You know. You know what I mean?

[F]

Yeah. Well, they kill the daughters.

[A]

What?

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

Isn't that Japanese?

[D]

Chinese.

[F]

Chinese.

[A]

The Chinese. Chinese. I can't think of a Chinese skater.

[D]

The one child policy.

[F]

It's got to be a Chinese.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

But you. You have. Who do you have?

[D]

Steve Aoki.

[A]

Steve Aoka is a dj.

[D]

Okay.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

Sorry.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You two. Horomi.

[F]

That's the one.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Hor.

[F]

He's incredible. Air Jordan.

[B]

Jordans.

[A]

What?

[F]

He wears the Jordans?

[A]

Yeah, he wears the Georgia.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Utah. Horagomi. You know what I mean? With that hurricane flip.

[F]

Crazy.

[A]

Crazy.

[F]

And he's little. They're all little.

[A]

They're all little. Yeah. You think size has something to do with it then?

[F]

I think so. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

With you.

[A]

I know, I know, but there are bigger skaters. Like, Jamie Foy is kind of.

[F]

Yeah, he's. She's shorter, but. Yeah, he's. He's thick.

[A]

He's thick, you know, I mean, so it's not. It's not against. You know, you could still do it.

[D]

It.

[F]

That's true. Tony Hawk. 65.

[A]

Yeah, 65. And not street guy, though.

[F]

That's true.

[A]

Yeah, that's true. Not a street guy.

[F]

You met him?

[D]

What do you mean?

[A]

Oh, yeah, he's been here.

[F]

Whoa.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You never met him?

[F]

No, I did his pod and he let me go on his ramp.

[A]

I did his ramp, too.

[F]

Oh, it's Huge.

[A]

Not the. The little one.

[F]

Oh, okay.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

You.

[A]

Wait. You dropped in on that big birdhouse ramp?

[F]

Oh, yeah. I was terrified. I couldn't let him down. I had to do it in front of. It was. It was Tony.

[A]

Wait, wait. You can drop in on that gigantic ramp.

[D]

Ramp, Yeah.

[F]

I could drop in. I can't do anything else.

[A]

Yeah. Can you go around?

[F]

What do you mean?

[A]

Like, drop in, hit the other lip and come back around.

[F]

I went up and then came. I didn't hit the lip.

[C]

You didn't hit the lip, but you

[A]

did come back around?

[F]

I came back around.

[A]

Standing?

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, that's huge.

[F]

Well, it's just.

[A]

It's huge.

[D]

That's awesome.

[A]

That's amazing.

[F]

Thanks.

[A]

I did the tiny ramp and he just told me to go up it and down. Oh, yeah. But for me, it. I slipped a couple of times, but I finally did it, and then he taught me how to ollie.

[F]

Whoa.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's on tape.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So he taught me how to ollie. But I'm a huge skate fan, though.

[F]

Same, same. It's getting crazy. Kids are unreal.

[A]

Unreal. Yeah. I think Japan, Brazil. That one French guy I like. Oh, what's his name?

[F]

A. Rolio.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

He's so. Hot dog.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[F]

Great.

[A]

Suck his dick.

[F]

I mean. Yeah. Sexy. Not after a session, maybe.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Well.

[F]

Whitney Cummings. Is that Chris Cole? Chris Cole.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, they're engaged. I heard.

[F]

I heard that, too.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[F]

Good for them.

[A]

I've been to her house and it was like, what am I at? And they were all in a pool. I go, shouldn't this pool be empty?

[F]

You know what I mean?

[A]

It was a P Rod. You know what I mean?

[F]

Really?

[A]

Oh, yeah. They were all just swimming in the pool.

[B]

And I was.

[A]

And I was like, oh, all the ledges are here, dude. All the.

[F]

Like, the mom, she comes out with orange slices, Capri, sun.

[A]

I don't know, but it's. It's kind of cool.

[F]

Very cool.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

To see all, you know, my faves, you know, in the water, you know, I mean, I was like, you know, I was like, wow, that's crazy. Yeah. I want my. Like, I want my friends to date somebody that. A sport that I like.

[F]

Right.

[A]

Wouldn't that be cool, like, if, Like, I don't know if. Are you a soccer fan?

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

But if, like, Cat started dating Thierry

[D]

Henri, that would be great.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean. And all of a sudden, I go to Cat's house and it's like, all the legends.

[E]

Ronaldo, Messi, Ye.

[A]

They're all just swimming.

[F]

Wow, that's. Now let me ask you. You're a lady.

[D]

Yes.

[F]

What is the hottest sport for a guy?

[D]

For me it's skateboarding. I dated skateboard.

[A]

I don't skate.

[F]

Well, we don't.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

I think skateboarding or. I like track and field.

[F]

Track and field?

[D]

Yeah. I don't know. The 100 meter dash is cut off.

[A]

No, she loves those Nigerian guys. That 3,000 miles.

[F]

Go, go, go, go. Whatever.

[A]

What's a good goat?

[F]

That's the guy.

[A]

I had that two years on my nutsack. Yeah, that was good.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

He's just the fastest guy ever.

[A]

Yeah, because remember that guy that just won who was like a teacher or something and.

[F]

What? What teacher?

[A]

Yeah, he was.

[D]

Oh, the marathon runner.

[A]

Yeah, the marathon.

[D]

Oh, this was really cool.

[F]

Oh, the other guy fell. Yeah, yeah.

[D]

And he came up from behind him, right?

[A]

Yeah, he came up from behind him. Yeah, but he wasn't like ranked or anything.

[D]

Yeah, he did.

[A]

Just through determination.

[F]

Ah, there you go. What means you got it out your determination? Wait, what is. Do you win anything? Oh, look out.

[A]

Yeah. Who's Gao Cow? Tell me about Gao Cow.

[F]

He's the f. Fastest man on the world. On the planet.

[A]

Yeah. Who has bigger teeth? Cat or Gao Cow?

[D]

Who's blacker? Cat or Cat?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think probably even.

[D]

Come on. Those are great teeth.

[A]

I did not. I'm not making fun of your teeth or Gao Gout's teeth.

[D]

You called me the Mask for a long time.

[C]

Oh yeah.

[A]

What do you mean the Mask? Mask.

[D]

The Mask. Cuz I have my teeth like the Mask. Jim Carrey.

[A]

Oh no, that. Wrong movie. Oh, the Eric.

[F]

Oh, that's hilarious.

[A]

Yeah, the Eric Stoltz movie. No, I think it.

[E]

Max.

[A]

No, no go Eric Stoltz. Max.

[F]

But your teeth are great.

[A]

No go Eric Stoltz.

[F]

Max. That's what I was saying. I don't want you to think I'm saying.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

The Rock.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I was thinking about you.

[E]

That's what you meant.

[A]

That's what I meant.

[E]

I'm so sorry.

[D]

Cat even see his teeth in this one.

[A]

It's not about the teeth. I'll tell you that right now. Facial structure, etc. Etc. So that's what I meant.

[D]

Okay, great.

[A]

Thank you so much.

[E]

That's what I meant.

[A]

Can we go back to Gao Cow, please?

[F]

Look at that. Oh, he's looking.

[A]

He's. He's the great. Is he greatest of all time?

[F]

I think so. I think he. He passed Bolt.

[A]

Oh, wow. So he'll be in the Olympics for sure.

[F]

Oh, he's going to win everything.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[F]

Is. Yeah.

[A]

Gout.

[F]

Yeah, Gout. Gout.

[A]

And is Gout. Gout his first name?

[F]

Good question.

[D]

I think it's first and last, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It can't look.

[E]

Just says go.

[F]

It's like Duran Duran. Two of the same.

[A]

Your name is Mark.

[F]

Mark.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

They couldn't change it.

[F]

Yeah, right.

[A]

As a kid. Is it laziness or you think it's funny?

[F]

His mom's name is Dinka. I mean, this just keeps getting better.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

Oh, it's an ethnic group.

[A]

Mark.

[F]

Huh?

[E]

Dinka is.

[F]

Oh, sorry. Dinka. Thank you.

[A]

His mom's name is Australia.

[E]

I love Orlando.

[C]

Yeah. Wow.

[A]

So Dinka. But do you think that's a laziness on the parents fault or you think it's a funny thing? I think it's just like the baby is coming out. Right. They haven't named it yet. Right. And they're like, okay, day. The doctor goes, Mr. Gout. Mrs. Gout. What? Would you like the name that Mr.

[F]

Mrs. Maybe the doctor was giving someone else. Sir, you have the gout. I like that.

[C]

All right.

[F]

Yeah, I like that.

[A]

The thing that Bobby Lee has.

[F]

Yeah. You have gout.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

No, no.

[F]

Oh, okay. I didn't know.

[A]

What is gout?

[G]

This is Ayo Akimwaleere from the Athletic FC podcast. Buying a car should be exciting, not exhausting. And if you're looking for a gleaming SUV to replace your old banger, or you're taking the plunge and going electric, the good news is you can buy your car completely online on Autotrader.

[F]

Really?

[G]

Just go to autotrader.com and get picky. Search through dealer listings for the make, model, color, and the features that matter to you. Then just drop in your info and you'll see all the cars that fit your budget.

[F]

Really?

[G]

Once you've found the car of your dreams, you can have it delivered to your driveway way, or you can pick it up at the dealership. Really? So buy your next car entirely online on autotrader. Head to autotrader.com or search the Autotrader app.

[F]

That's the king's disease. Kyle Kanane has it, I believe.

[A]

Oh, he does?

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

What does it do?

[F]

It's from drinking a lot of booze and eating a lot of meat.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

And I think it makes your legs hurt or your extremities tingle.

[A]

Oh, yes, I see.

[F]

It's not good.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Would you rather have that or spinal Biff. Bifida.

[D]

What is spinal bifida? Exactly.

[A]

Google, please.

[F]

Is that the Stephen Hawking?

[A]

No, I don't think. Yeah, I don't think Stephen. He had ms, did he? Multiple sclerosis.

[F]

Oh, did he?

[A]

I don't know.

[D]

I don't think so.

[F]

That's what Prior had.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Then what did Stephen Hawking had? I'm not a doctor. I don't know.

[D]

I don't know.

[A]

Yeah, I don't want it.

[F]

Yeah, no.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I don't want it.

[F]

Yeah, yeah, but you gotta handle that guy. Lived till he was on Epstein's Island.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

And wasn't he having a lot of sex? I feel like he was getting.

[A]

I don't think I googled it.

[F]

It works.

[D]

Yeah, it works.

[A]

I checked.

[F]

It worked.

[D]

Why would he go to Epstein's Island?

[A]

What?

[D]

Why else would he go to Epstein's Island?

[A]

Maybe it's like. What it's like, you know, when people. Let me. Let me try to. Let me try to defend it. All right, all right. So it's like, you know, when you have a married couple, right? And the. And the what? Like yourself, right? And the husband gets in a. A terrible motorcycle accident where he's paralyzed from the neck down, where his penis doesn't work anymore, but the woman stays, you know, I mean, out of empathy and love. Right?

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

But also he can still go down on her.

[D]

Oh, that's nice.

[F]

That's true.

[A]

Right? So he could. And. And the. And probably the thrill of her orgasm is good enough. Like, because I'm on Lexapro and I can't come anymore.

[F]

Really?

[A]

I haven't come in months.

[F]

What? Wait a minute. Patreon. Let's do it. We're gonna get it to happen.

[A]

So it's like I can get a wreck. You know, me through Bluetooth.

[F]

Yeah, Bluetooth gold.

[A]

Really good product.

[E]

Use promo code Belly.

[A]

You use promo code Belly. But I can't get there. But the whole idea of her getting there still turns me on.

[F]

Of course.

[A]

Right. So maybe there's something like that going on. So that's on. I don't know why I went down this rabbit hole, but.

[E]

Got got, huh?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Great runner. Yeah. But. So that's why I asked about Stephen Hawking. That I thought, you know, cuz he was married before that too.

[F]

Right? That's right.

[A]

So in my mind, I was like. I assumed that it didn't work, but he was like. He liked to get girls off maybe.

[F]

You know what I mean?

[A]

But then when you Google that, he Does. That's very interesting to me.

[D]

Yeah, well, he had a lot of kids. I think he had a few kids.

[F]

Oh, did he?

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[A]

Oh, he did.

[D]

Yeah. He had some kids.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Is there any way I'm not a doctor again? You know what I mean? I want everyone on the Internet. If I could know that I'm.

[F]

We know you're not a duck.

[A]

Okay. Is there any way. Let's suppose I was paralyzed from the neck down. Right. But does your. Does your. Sorry about that.

[F]

No, you're good.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. That was weird.

[F]

A little bit.

[A]

I know, but that was. I understand. But that was literally by accident.

[F]

I know.

[A]

Yeah. But you did a reaction.

[F]

Well, I didn't want to be in the way.

[A]

It was like this.

[F]

I know. I thought I was going.

[A]

It wasn't like we touched for like, a two seconds and drifted away way. It was a quick. Like that.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

And then you had, like, a really weird reaction.

[F]

Well, you're talking about Stephen Hawking's dick. I'm hard. I didn't know what that was.

[A]

Okay.

[F]

All right.

[A]

It's this way then. All right.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

You have ocd?

[F]

No. Okay, keep going. What are you talking about?

[E]

You were Stephen Hawking.

[D]

You're saying paralyzed from the neck down.

[F]

Yes.

[B]

Kids.

[D]

Yes.

[F]

He can't drive, but he loves trafficking.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Yeah. That's a good one.

[A]

No.

[B]

So that's a good.

[A]

No, no, no, no. That's not what I was saying. What I'm saying is, is that if. That's not what I was saying.

[F]

Okay.

[A]

All right. My next thought.

[F]

Well, he has kids.

[A]

No, no. I already know what it is.

[F]

All right.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

What? So I'm saying, if you're paralyzed from the neck down, does your sperm count. Yes. Still generate.

[C]

Know that?

[F]

Oh, I would assume so.

[A]

Is there any way that you can extract that? Not through the orgasm, but through needles or whatever, and then, like, impregnate somebody? Is what I want.

[F]

I think so.

[D]

I think so.

[A]

I think we have the technology to do that.

[F]

Artificial insemination, Totally.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But not through the tip.

[B]

No.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

There's got to be a way to do it.

[F]

Isn't that what IDF is?

[D]

Idf?

[F]

IDF is the Israelite.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

IVF I. What am I thinking?

[D]

No.

[A]

Yeah. No. Let's try to guess. I know what you're talking about. The Iranian thing, right?

[D]

No.

[A]

What's that, baby? What's the Iranian irgc? I, R, A, G, C. Okay.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's hd. Hd.

[F]

No, that's tv.

[A]

High definition. Oh, yeah.

[D]

Intervenous.

[A]

Intravenous.

[F]

So it's ivf. Ivf. Okay. Okay. Ivf. Fertilization.

[D]

Vitro. In vitro.

[A]

In vitro, yeah.

[F]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

That's what Schultz did.

[A]

Why?

[F]

He couldn't get a. Couldn't get his wife pregnant, so they did ivf.

[A]

Oh, really?

[F]

Yeah. A lot of people doing it.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

I think white people wait a while to have kids and it's them up.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, I think.

[F]

Yeah, that's my theory.

[A]

That's your theory.

[F]

Yeah. Because every other group is fornicating immediately.

[A]

Yeah. They do it. Yeah. Young.

[F]

Young.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, are you glad that you did it? How old were you when you had the baby?

[F]

39, 40?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Are you glad you did it then?

[F]

Yeah, you know, I wish I would have done it. I heard Bill Burr say he should have done it 10 years earlier. And when I heard that, it got in my head, and I was like, I better get on this.

[A]

Oh, because he had it when he was 50?

[F]

Something like that.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

And my wife is younger, so it worked out.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

So, well, I'm too late for me, then.

[F]

No, no, no. You could be. I mean, Al Pacino just had a kid.

[A]

I know, but he's not doing much waddling.

[F]

What are you doing?

[A]

You seen the photo? He's just waddling. You know?

[F]

That's true.

[A]

They're getting frozen yogurt and he waddles back. You know, I don't know if that's a good life experience for the kid.

[F]

That's true.

[A]

30 years later, I used to waddle with my dad to the frozen yogurt. You know what I mean? I don't know if that's a good. Poor memory.

[F]

Well, it's better than your dad beating the out.

[A]

That is true.

[F]

It's something.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

It is something.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

Froyo with your dad.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

People go, hey, Al Pacino.

[A]

Have we talked about the age difference between Al Pacino and his girlfriend?

[F]

Pull it up.

[A]

It's. What's 54 years?

[F]

Whoa.

[A]

That would mean. I told you this. That would mean that if I was going to the hospital, and you're like, where you going, Bobby? Oh, my wife's about to be born. I'm 54.

[E]

Wow.

[A]

Wow. That's how crazy that age difference is.

[F]

Wow.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Think about that.

[F]

That is wild.

[A]

That's insane.

[F]

So you think she's attracted to him or

[D]

the baby?

[F]

No.

[A]

I mean, she could. Here's my theory, okay? She could be a Huge, like, film fan.

[F]

Sure.

[A]

Right. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Cat, let me just finish.

[F]

It's called cinephilia, Cat.

[A]

All right. So there he is with his.

[F]

Oh, he's hanging in there.

[A]

He's hanging in there, right?

[D]

He's kind of cute in a way.

[A]

He's cute in a way, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Look at his shoes.

[A]

In a deathly way.

[D]

On the shoes.

[A]

Cute in a deathly way, but almost.

[F]

Ayatollah. He's like getting there.

[E]

Almost 70%.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

Ayatollah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes, I totally. But that's so funny. But so what if. Cat, just hear me out, okay? And see if you can back me up on this.

[F]

All right? I got you.

[A]

All right. That she grew up, right? Watching Dog Day Afternoon.

[F]

Sure.

[A]

Sero serpo.

[F]

All that.

[A]

Right. And that's all her dad as a kid. You're only going to watch Pacino movies.

[F]

Yeah. How old is she? The problem is younger ladies. I know.

[A]

She's 32.

[F]

My wife is 35. She has not seen anything before 1990.

[A]

I know, I know.

[F]

It's fresh out there.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

Gonna need a bigger boat. She's like, what do you mean? I'm like, you know Jaws. I'll even go like, I'll be back. And she's like, what do you. Haven't left yet? And I'm like, oh, it's a movie return.

[A]

Hard. What about Life is like a box of chocolate.

[F]

Nothing.

[A]

Nothing.

[F]

Nothing. Wow.

[A]

Wow.

[F]

So it's like we went back and watched Wilson.

[A]

Wilson.

[F]

Wilson, she knows because it's on Netflix now.

[A]

Oh, Wilson, she knows. Wilson.

[F]

She knows. Actually, Forest Gump is too. So I think she might know Forest Gump because it's on Netflix.

[A]

Right.

[F]

But.

[A]

But I'll be back. Nothing, huh?

[F]

Nothing.

[D]

How about Mike Slowski? Mike Slowski?

[F]

This.

[B]

Monsters, Inc. Yeah.

[D]

Monsters.

[A]

Think that's not one. That's a cartoon.

[F]

Great film. 80s that is a good movie. Pixar is very good.

[A]

Yeah. Pixar. No, we're not making fun of Pixar, but I wouldn't say that that was an ever story. I don't think that's. That's an evergreen I'm walking here.

[F]

Yeah, there you go. There you go. Midnight Cowboy.

[A]

Midnight Cowboy.

[F]

Now we're talking.

[A]

You understand what saying. I'm know what I'm saying.

[F]

I'm your father, Luke. I'm your father. You know? Yeah.

[A]

That's a good one.

[F]

Yeah. That would do that.

[A]

Yeah. I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

[F]

Apocalypse Now. Yeah. Yeah. Of course.

[C]

Now you.

[D]

Okay. I'm getting into Harvard, I think.

[B]

What, honey?

[F]

Is that Legally Blonde? Yeah.

[A]

Definitely is that one. I mean, you do. You got one. You are a toy.

[F]

Why?

[E]

Keep going.

[A]

Yeah. You don't know Pixar?

[F]

No.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Try to do a movie. A movie.

[F]

Here's a harder one.

[A]

All right, let me see.

[B]

I got one.

[F]

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

[D]

Oh, dodgeball.

[F]

No. Oh, you thought he was playing dodgeball.

[D]

You know, he's like, damn, duck, dodge.

[A]

I know this one.

[F]

I don't know. This is old. Yeah, this is old. But it's a great.

[A]

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

[D]

Is it an army movie?

[F]

No, it's. Southern accent.

[B]

Tober sky guy.

[A]

Oh, Red. What is it?

[F]

Cool Hand Luke? Paul Newman.

[B]

Yeah, I got one.

[C]

Go ahead.

[B]

How you like them apples?

[F]

There we go.

[A]

There we go.

[F]

That's a good.

[A]

All right.

[F]

Okay. All right. I'll give you an easy one. Cat.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Here we go. Welcome to the Rock.

[E]

He even did the accent.

[D]

Welcome to the Rock.

[F]

Oh, man, if you don't get this one, you're. You're fired. You're off the show.

[D]

Yeah. Welcome to the Rock.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Okay. Jumanji.

[A]

Is it the Rock?

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

The Michael Bay movie.

[F]

Yeah, yeah. Put the title.

[A]

I went. So, Mike, I went to his Thanksgiving note to his house.

[F]

Michael Bay.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Yeah. Whoa. Ridiculous story.

[A]

It's a story. So he goes, hey, come down. You bored? I go, I'm just sitting in this. Yeah, no, I'm not. I'm not bored. I'm excited. It.

[F]

Yeah, come down.

[A]

We're gonna show you some stuff. Right. And he showed me really quick.

[E]

Just for the record, he denied going to Michael Bay's house the year before. The year before. He invited him to his house.

[A]

I never showed up.

[F]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Because you understand. You understand.

[F]

I get it. I get it.

[A]

Well, what is it?

[F]

Well, it's. You're an introvert. It's gonna be a lot with celebrity. We have low self esteem. Yeah, I get it.

[A]

Yeah. But this one, it was just me and his family.

[E]

Whoa.

[F]

It's even weirder.

[A]

Great guy. I love him. Right?

[F]

Okay.

[A]

And so. And I. He goes, check that out.

[E]

Out.

[A]

And he has the green bald thing from the Rock. Wow. Right? So I held it, you know, with the green, like.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Chemical Warfield balls.

[F]

Yeah. That. It made you sick and die.

[A]

Yeah, it made you sick and die, dude. I held it.

[F]

That's.

[A]

It was so cool. Dude, he has a bumblebee in there.

[F]

Oh, the Transformer.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

That he has literally that.

[F]

Wow.

[A]

Right? And I held that.

[F]

Dude, that's wild.

[E]

Crazy.

[A]

Isn't that crazy? The green wasn't in it.

[F]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Oh, so what was it?

[A]

It was just empty glass balls.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[C]

Yeah, Yeah.

[A]

I think maybe they put that in post.

[F]

Oh, really?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I don't know. But the green. I don't remember the green being in it. Yeah, but the cylinder and the whole thing. That whole thing that he's picking up there. I picked up.

[D]

It's kind of like a butt plug a little bit.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Oh, yeah, I could see that. Can you really, though it's not brown? Later. It will be.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I was gonna ask that before the. The. Before the sayings. There was another thing that we were talking about that I forgot.

[F]

It was a segue Hawking movie.

[B]

Stephen Hawking.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Let's go back to that or real quick. Very good.

[F]

He got you.

[A]

That was really good. Right?

[B]

That was really good.

[A]

So. So, Cat, could it be that she's just a gigantic Pacino fan and that's why she's with.

[C]

With him?

[D]

No.

[A]

Okay, tell me why.

[D]

Because we just. We. I mean, I'm 34. I don't know all the Alacino movies.

[A]

Yeah, I know that's why you wouldn't date him.

[D]

But do you think that. Okay, you. You think that she could be. Can I see a picture of her?

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

She's pretty attractive.

[A]

Very attractive.

[D]

So I don't think she's a big.

[E]

You like Monsters, Inc. Right? What if you met the head animator of all Pixar films and he's 75?

[F]

Oh, no.

[A]

Or that gigantic blue monster. Monster. That furry blue monster.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

I think it's John Goodman.

[E]

Yeah, it is John Goodman.

[D]

All right.

[A]

Yeah. Billy Crystal was a little one, right?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

All right.

[E]

So back in the day.

[A]

Yeah, that's her. She's 30. What?

[E]

32.

[A]

32. Wow.

[F]

But he's holding up. I'm telling you.

[A]

He looks standing up.

[F]

Yeah, that's a good. Looks like a designer outfit.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Got some hair.

[A]

She could be a gigantic Pacino fan.

[F]

Sure.

[A]

I can't. I'm.

[D]

It does have, like a mob wife kind of vibe, maybe. That could be a vibe. Yeah.

[A]

Here's also a reason why I say this is because you're not a fan of anything.

[D]

What?

[A]

Yeah. Because I asked you, have you seen Lord of the Rings? You haven't seen it. You don't. You. You told me over the week. Because she Just opened for me in San Jose.

[F]

Okay.

[A]

Right. And she's like. She hasn't seen anything. You don't. You're not fans of things.

[D]

I am fans of things.

[A]

I'm f. Okay, give me your favorite actor that you grew up with.

[D]

Okay. Probably the Daniel Day Lewis.

[E]

Oh.

[F]

Oh, that's.

[A]

Oh, that's a very good one. Right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

If he asked you out, would you date him?

[D]

Yes.

[F]

Okay.

[A]

What are we doing here?

[F]

There you go.

[A]

What are we doing here?

[E]

He's 68 years old. He's 70 years old.

[A]

He's 70 years Old.

[F]

All right, all right.

[A]

Here we go.

[F]

Like, I drank your milkshake.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

There he is.

[A]

Look at him.

[F]

You go down on that guy.

[A]

Yeah, he's pre aola right there.

[D]

He's not bad.

[A]

He's like two years away from Ayatollah, dude.

[F]

He's got to be a nightmare to hang out with.

[A]

Oh, my God. So particular.

[F]

Oh, he's brilliant actor, but he goes meta or whatever. Method nightmare.

[A]

Well, you couldn't hang out with him when he's preparing for a movie.

[F]

No.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

No way.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Like when he did the Gangs in New York. There's no way, Right?

[F]

Yes, yes. You're like, should we get the takeout?

[A]

He's like, I do not want take out.

[F]

You're like, all right. Try to get some Shake Shack, you psycho Last Mohicans.

[A]

He's running around at dinner. He has an axe for some reason. Dad, you pass the manes?

[C]

Yeah, Yeah.

[D]

I actually liked him in Gangs of New York. I thought he was really hot.

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Bill the Butcher, he was great. But you heard about you. I don't know if this is a true story, but this is what I heard, that Liam Neeson, right, went to a hotel and he goes, hey, where's Daniel? Because he's friends with Daniel.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

And somebody said he's up there. They converted the gym into something and he's like. They're like, I wouldn't go up there. And Daniel, d' you do was throwing axes against a wooden board, preparing for the Butcher. Yeah. But this is like weeks before production. And also. So he was in character.

[F]

Wow.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like when. It's like when Jared Leto threw the pit pig on the table of the table read.

[E]

Oh, for.

[A]

For Suicide Squad.

[F]

What?

[A]

Yeah, apparently he brought some dead animal and threw it onto the table.

[E]

Mailed cast members, I think. Dead rats.

[A]

Dead rats or something like. Like, they become methods. So you can't date a method.

[F]

No, you cannot.

[D]

It might be fun because then you get like different characters every time you have sex.

[A]

Oh, really?

[D]

Come on. You get butcher.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

You get Lincoln.

[A]

Hey, honey, what are you going to play next? Hannibal Ler. You would like that.

[F]

Okay, yeah. You know, you don't hear doing that as porn stars. They're not like, I'm going to deliver pizza for a while to get ready for my role.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

You don't see that.

[F]

No, no.

[A]

There's no method and.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

Learn to clean a pool.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Be a real estate agent.

[F]

Right, right, exactly.

[A]

So Daniel Day Lewis is your. The. The older guy that you would probably.

[D]

I think so. Yeah.

[A]

Right. So now do you better understand the Alpacino debate?

[D]

Yeah. So 70. Okay. And then alucino, what was his age again?

[E]

It was like a 54 year. 85. 85.

[F]

85.

[A]

That's a lot old.

[F]

That's old.

[A]

That's old Trump and Biden put together.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

I mean, do you think it's a money thing? Is that the other argument, that she's just in it for the money?

[B]

I think so.

[A]

I think. I think that's what you were kind of getting at before. And you could be right as well.

[D]

Yeah, I mean, I. But if she's a fan, then I guess I. Yeah, I would. I would have sex with him.

[F]

Okay. Yeah, you do work. I mean, look at. There will be blow with the stash. He's looking. Looking all right on the right side.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

That's what your special kind of.

[F]

He's a handsome man.

[A]

Oh, yeah. You know what?

[C]

I.

[A]

You know what? I love women that date old men, man. It's because they want them to die. Right?

[F]

Sure.

[A]

You know who I feel? So I said, I think over the weekend, off, off, off stage I go, I feel bad for Dick Van Dyke's wife because he won't die. I feel like every photo, sort of like, you know, he's.

[F]

Is he a.

[E]

He's 100.

[A]

He's 100. How. What's the age difference between Dick Van Dyk and his wife?

[F]

Good question.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Bobby's not dead yet.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, he's not dead yet.

[E]

She's 54.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

So what I'm saying is, is that. And then how long have they been married?

[E]

2012.

[A]

See, that smile is like. It's not a real smile.

[E]

No.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

He doesn't know where he is.

[A]

No, hers.

[F]

Oh, her.

[A]

Yeah. She's like. He's not.

[F]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Who's breathing behind me?

[D]

Great teeth, though. Yeah, his teeth are pretty good.

[A]

He could be a great guy.

[F]

Yeah, I'm sure he's fun.

[A]

Yeah, he's fun.

[F]

Yeah, he's a lot of fun.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

But if she did marry him for money. Right. In 2012. Right. Maybe there is, like, what's up? Right. True.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

But. So this is a less scary age gap than the Al Pacino age gap, though, because older.

[A]

Right. What is this age gap?

[E]

Well, he's 100 and she's 54.

[A]

I can't do that. I can't do the math.

[F]

46.

[E]

46.

[A]

46.

[D]

But we're. But society says that's okay. Versus the Al Pacino one, right?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

Why?

[A]

Because she's 32, too?

[D]

Yeah, I think so.

[E]

Okay, I see.

[A]

I see.

[F]

And she could have watched the Dick Van Dyke show growing up. Yeah. Yes.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Do you think she's that big of a dick fan of the Dyke Man?

[F]

Wait a minute. Look at his nails. He's got pointing.

[A]

That's what always happens.

[D]

Oh, scary.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I was gonna say,

[A]

I have a. I don't know if we should cut this up, but I have a very pointy nail. Nail story. It's not even funny.

[E]

It was, like, weird then.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, we're good.

[F]

Yeah, we're good.

[E]

It's not funny. It's disgusting.

[F]

It's scary. We're okay.

[B]

We're good.

[F]

We're good.

[A]

We're good. We're good. I'm gonna say it anyway.

[F]

We're talking about going meta. Did you see the Jim Carrey doc where he was Andy Kaufman? Yeah, that was freaky.

[A]

That was freaky. In terms of, like.

[F]

Yeah, he wouldn't turn it off.

[A]

Yeah, he wouldn't turn it off.

[F]

And everybody on set hated him.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Now, what do you think of methadone acting?

[F]

I mean, look, Daniel Day Lewis is amazing. He's great. So we get the. The perks, but I wouldn't want to hang out with a guy like that.

[A]

Yeah, but there are great actors that like that don't do it.

[F]

Yeah, of course.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So is it necessary to, you know, I mean, to win an Oscar, to do this? I don't think so, but I think

[F]

everybody's got a different process.

[D]

Everyone's got their processes.

[A]

These are all method people there.

[F]

The.

[E]

It says some of the stuff they did. For example, Leonardo DiCaprio slept in an animal car. Kiss for the Revenue.

[D]

Oh, I heard about that.

[A]

Oh, okay. So that's a big. That's huge.

[E]

Like, Adrian Brody lost 30 pounds and gave up his home for the Pianist.

[A]

Gave up home yeah, Keith Ledger died.

[F]

Yeah, that's right.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

Joaquin Phoenix. We need Weird.

[A]

Wait, wait. That was supposed to be a joke. No, we're not cutting it out. We're not cutting it out. We're not cutting out. We're not cutting out.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

He died for the movie the Joker. I mean. I mean, for the Dark Knight.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

That's a good one. Okay.

[C]

That's a good one. What?

[A]

What did CH Do?

[E]

Oh, yeah, and he pulled his tooth out for a fury.

[F]

Whoa.

[D]

Brad Pit in real. A real tooth he pulled out.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

I think Brad Pit was, like, so confused. He's like, why did you do that? And he's like, I want to pull my tooth out.

[D]

Whoa.

[E]

Whoa.

[F]

Well, what's he preparing for now? A drunk guy on purpose? He's. He's really slipping, that guy.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

He's a friend.

[F]

Oh, sorry.

[A]

Yeah, it's okay.

[F]

I mean, he's. He's a great actor and he's seems

[A]

like a good party. I feel just so much empathy for him.

[F]

Same, same.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Something's going on. But I think Christian Bale's transformation is the worst for the machinist. Oh, you remember that? Yeah, have you seen that? Christian Bale in the Machinist?

[F]

Wow.

[A]

Oh, you gotta look at the photo. Look at. Look at the photo.

[D]

But it's kind of crazy that you just have to lose weight and that's considered being a method act this.

[F]

Don't let the j. I me.

[A]

They're doing Machinist Mark 2. Hi, man.

[B]

What is the machine?

[A]

Yeah, get off the churros.

[F]

Wow. That's full Holocaust.

[E]

And then he played Batman right after this.

[F]

Wow.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Jeez. And that. That's not like makeup or anything?

[A]

No, no, no. He watched the movie.

[F]

He's playing Ally McBeal. That's an old reference.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

Thank you.

[A]

Karen Carpenter.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Older. Let's go older.

[D]

Harrison Ford, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

There he is again.

[F]

What did he do?

[D]

Holly McBeal and Harrison.

[F]

Oh, yeah, they dated. Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Or got married.

[E]

Jeez, man.

[A]

Jesus Christ, man.

[F]

That's wild. Is that Kirk Fox? Three people get that old head.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Wow.

[A]

Do you have a joke or.

[F]

Huh?

[B]

No, I just said old head.

[F]

It's just. I mean that you just made fun of old heads.

[D]

That kind of looks like Kevin Federline a little bit.

[F]

Do you guys remember?

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

Where's he now, I wonder?

[F]

I have no idea. He got her. He got a lot of her money.

[D]

Oh, really?

[F]

Yeah. She just got a dui, I believe.

[A]

Whoa.

[F]

Britney.

[B]

Woman, am I right?

[F]

What is it?

[B]

Woman, am I right?

[F]

Ah, there you go.

[C]

Dude, if you.

[A]

If you do the MRI thing again, I'm gonna lose my mind.

[C]

What?

[A]

Never mind.

[B]

What's the machinist about?

[A]

I do. I don't remember.

[F]

I don't remember either. Because you're just so blown away by the weight loss.

[A]

That's all you're watching is the weight loss.

[F]

Right.

[A]

I. I don't even have to eat. Read the Robert Dairo thing. I know that one. That the taxi driver he wrote. Drove taxi.

[F]

Got a license.

[A]

Got a license and drove around.

[F]

That's not so bad.

[A]

I know that's. I don't think that's bad.

[D]

He's just an Uber driver, basically.

[E]

Remember Walking Phoenix? I'm still here when you. He did. No, it's that, like, fake documentary. Said he was going to become a rapper, but he stayed in character for a year and a half.

[F]

Spot. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And what was he for? That was for a documentary, right?

[E]

Like some kind of. Yeah, doc. Like, I'm capturing my life becoming a rapper.

[D]

It was like a faux documentary, Right.

[E]

Just never broke it for a year and a half.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And it didn't do well. The documentary did it.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

People thought he was losing his mind

[D]

because he had all the beard.

[A]

You can't do that if you're too good of an actor.

[E]

Scary.

[A]

I think that's the point.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

If you're too good of an actor, you can't do a prank like that because people start believing you.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, Shia could really pull out of this, you know?

[D]

I mean, New Orleans, not an alcoholic.

[A]

And go. I'm preparing for this movie.

[F]

Right, Right.

[A]

And we're all like, I don't. I think it was real.

[F]

Yeah, right. Yeah, sure.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[F]

Now, where did Leo get the carcass? What are we talking here?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

How do you acquire a animal carcass that you can get inside?

[D]

Jared Leto, I guess. Right.

[F]

Oh, you brought one. Hey. Okay. I like it.

[E]

Bobby hates all.

[B]

Well, he's not on there, so.

[A]

Yeah, I know. I like that.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

It was. Because it's jealousy.

[D]

Really?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Wow.

[F]

You're very open.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Very open.

[F]

I respect it.

[A]

It was. Sometimes you don't laugh when you go, I wish I had that.

[F]

Do you do that sometime? But I like to laugh.

[A]

Laugh. Me too.

[F]

You're a good laughter.

[A]

I'm a laugh. I'm a laugh.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

Oh, man.

[C]

What do you do?

[A]

Are you Googling anything?

[E]

No. You want me to?

[A]

No, no. I just know what you were doing.

[E]

You're having a full conversation. You keep Googling.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, here's the thing. I'm hyper aware of my surroundings.

[F]

You are the best podcaster, I've always said.

[C]

Yeah, I'm.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[F]

Are you hypervigilant?

[A]

No, I'm very hypervigilant. Also. Can I say something right now? I don't believe that I'm the best podcaster, but I do.

[B]

I am not laughing.

[A]

I know, but I do believe that I'm in the top hundred. Okay. I. Okay. I believe in terms of comedy posting. I think I'm in the top hundred.

[E]

Maybe shorten that.

[A]

No, no, no, no.

[F]

According to Forbes, you're the 17th biggest podcast guest.

[E]

Yes. So you.

[F]

Anyone?

[E]

Any podcast you go on.

[F]

What about host? I'm talking skill, though. No, but as a guest, he's a. This is a verifiable. Oh, okay. Who's one?

[D]

Jaime.

[F]

He's pretty good.

[A]

Big numbers. Big numbers.

[D]

Does Trump go on podcast?

[E]

Pass.

[A]

Yeah. Not a lot.

[F]

Heard that he went on color.

[E]

Not here.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Npr.

[A]

Not here. Yeah. We couldn't get him.

[C]

Yeah, we got.

[A]

What? Who did we get?

[F]

RFK Jr. There you go.

[A]

We really did.

[D]

Did you really?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

We got RFK Jr. And Cheryl Hines.

[F]

Oh, I like her.

[A]

Yeah, I do, too.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

When. When it was reversed. Right. Oh, we were in that room.

[E]

No, different.

[A]

It was a different position.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[F]

How is this perform? He's the voice of a generation.

[A]

I know. Yeah. It was when he was running for Democratic office.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

For president even.

[E]

Bobby wore the hat.

[A]

Even.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Kennedy, 2024.

[F]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Yeah. Look how fat I was. But I did it because you look like Stavros.

[E]

Gross.

[D]

Holy.

[E]

I didn't really lose. How much weight you lost?

[F]

Yeah, you look good. Lose weight.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Based on that photo. What the.

[F]

Yeah, this guy looks like. Let's post a photo of Jaime now and maybe he'll lose it.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

So when he came here, he was running for, you know, president.

[D]

Was RFK Fund funny other than his voice?

[A]

Well, Cheryl. Okay, okay.

[E]

It was pretty funny.

[A]

It was pretty funny. Number one. And number two, it's like, I'm a huge Curve fan.

[F]

Same.

[A]

Right. And Cheryl's a comedian.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So I thought having both on at the same time would probably work. And it did.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, cool. Can I ask you a question?

[B]

Blow me.

[D]

So would you. Who was an actress growing up that with the same age gap that you would.

[A]

Oh, that's a really good question.

[F]

Good one. Good one. I was a Big Marisa Tomei. That was like my childhood crush.

[A]

Really?

[F]

Yeah. Do you know who that is?

[D]

I don't know.

[F]

Okay.

[E]

Spider man's aunt.

[D]

Oh yeah.

[F]

Pull her up. Oh, wow. She was in my cousin Vinny and I had a huge crush on her.

[A]

Oh, she's great. Marisa Tomei is great.

[F]

Oh yeah. And she's still hanging in there, by the way. She looks great now.

[D]

That's amazing.

[E]

She's 61.

[F]

Oh, I thought she was older. All right.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Wow me.

[D]

She's gorgeous.

[A]

I. I'm going to say Judy Dench. It's not joke. It's not. Not a joke.

[F]

Really?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[F]

In what?

[A]

In the seven. In the what era?

[E]

Like Felix, James Bond, Pierce Brosnan.

[A]

I think in the 70s I saw Judy Dention something and I went, oh, that's a beautiful lady.

[F]

Wow.

[D]

Pre dame.

[A]

Yeah. Look up Judy J.

[E]

She's pretty.

[F]

Oh, she looks like Tiana Taylor.

[A]

She's white.

[F]

She's white.

[E]

Tiana Taylor.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Yeah. Wow.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

Oh yeah.

[B]

Then she does.

[D]

She looks like one battle after another.

[A]

Wait, wait, that's the first one. Is that with Gandalf? The very first.

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Let me look at that photo.

[F]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Yeah, that's her and Gandalf.

[F]

Damn.

[A]

I was kidding with Judi Dench. Let me think of though, who did I have a crush on?

[D]

Why is it all black and white for her pictures?

[B]

Cuz she died.

[E]

She's very old.

[A]

She was old. No. And she's old. She's not dead.

[B]

She's not dead.

[F]

No, she's going.

[A]

She's still going, dude.

[B]

Oh, sorry about that.

[A]

It's okay.

[F]

I think they're both kned. By the way, they're both knighted.

[D]

Yeah, she's a dam.

[A]

I got to think of who I like growing up.

[E]

Do you guys know Renee Russo?

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

I remember as a kid watching this

[F]

up the entire.

[E]

Oh, just like heist.

[D]

Pierce Bron. He's pretty too.

[F]

He's a handsome guy.

[E]

You know who's the new Thomas Crown? Michael Jordan.

[F]

Oh, there you go.

[A]

I didn't know he's directing and being Thomas Crown. Really? I don't even know what a Thomas Crown is. Oh, that's the movie.

[E]

You ever seen this movie?

[A]

No.

[F]

Yeah, I don't want to.

[A]

You watch.

[C]

Oh yeah.

[A]

That's another thing one of the girls asked me. Did I see? It's a real European female movie. It's called two girls, one

[F]

hostile.

[A]

No, it's a famous. All women like it. You know, I mean, it's European.

[E]

What era House of Wax.

[A]

No, not House of wax. It's probably 90s and it's. What's it called?

[E]

Oh, you're. This was.

[A]

I'm gonna have to call this girl that. I'm saying.

[F]

No, we can find it. Unless you want to.

[A]

No, I don't want to call her.

[F]

Oh, you're dating her.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

O.

[F]

How about that? You're still not. Nothing. No, come. Oh, poor lady. She, like, down there for hours.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ah, let's just move on from it, all right? Let's move on from it.

[F]

All at work and no kimchi. Going to give her something.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

No gong. You know what that is, or.

[B]

No,

[F]

funny. Sounded funny.

[A]

Sounded funny.

[E]

Bob, is this.

[C]

What?

[A]

No, it's that. It's, it's. No, it's even. I, I, I. Listen, let me do it. Let's just.

[B]

Ocean.

[F]

She's not a comic.

[E]

Ocean.

[A]

She's not comic. She's a regular person.

[F]

Great, great.

[A]

And she.

[F]

Antonia's line. Queen Margot under the skin.

[A]

No, no, no. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

[F]

Three colors.

[A]

No, and there's. And there's beauty, honestly. What? Stealing beauty. No, no. And there's probably no comedy to be gained for this either.

[F]

Is it French?

[D]

British Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

[A]

No.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Cat up. Hold on.

[E]

Moana, too.

[A]

Hopefully she's gonna pick out.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You like her? No, It's a question, right?

[F]

He likes her.

[B]

You like your wife?

[F]

Yeah, sure. She's listing.

[C]

It's.

[A]

It's like, there. There are women there. There are movies that women really gravitate.

[F]

Sure.

[A]

They really like, but I just, I watch them. But, like, you know, like, for instance. Heated rivalry.

[F]

Yes.

[A]

I saw a couple episodes because this girl that I'm dating is like. I mean. Yeah, you really got in. My manager was like, you gotta watch it. And I try to watch it, but I just can't get into it.

[F]

It's not great. It's not. The writing sucks.

[D]

Oh, that's.

[F]

You know. And people go, what are you homophobic? I'm like, no, that's a bad show. Yeah, it's like, yeah, y Porn with little hockey.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Yeah, that's all.

[A]

Did you see it?

[F]

I've seen a few episodes.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[F]

It's boring as hell.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Did you see. Did you like it?

[D]

No, I didn't watch it.

[A]

Oh, you didn't watch it?

[D]

Because I also heard the writing was bad and it kind of takes me out.

[A]

All right, but is there a. A movie that that's like, that females like The Notebook, for instance.

[F]

There you go.

[A]

Okay. So do you like it?

[F]

The Notebook? Yeah, it's okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Not for me, but I can see what they like.

[A]

Oh, so we. You can do that?

[F]

Yeah, it's like comedy. I don't like that comic, but I can see why you would, like, like them.

[C]

Not for me.

[A]

It's not for me. It's not my cup of tea. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I can see that. Oh, you know, I mean, there's a story structure. I understand you.

[B]

I mean, kind of like Ocean 8. That was.

[F]

Yeah, I never saw that. That's a reason.

[A]

That's not what we're talking about. Oh, yeah.

[B]

I think. Talking about female movies. Oh, Ghostbusters. That one. That was.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. You're not getting it.

[B]

You're not getting it. Ocean's 8 was horrible.

[F]

It sounds like you adopted a kid and yet you regret it.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

What the hell's going on here?

[A]

Like from Russia or something?

[F]

Yeah, here.

[E]

Notebook was number one, but this is like.

[F]

Oh, yeah, hold on.

[A]

Oh, wait, she just texted me.

[B]

I go.

[C]

Hold on.

[A]

I go, what's that movie? What's that?

[D]

Did you ever watch Pride and Prejudice?

[F]

I've seen.

[A]

That's it.

[F]

Original.

[A]

That's it. Oh, that's it.

[D]

Oh, there it is.

[F]

And they just remade it, I think.

[A]

Yeah. Pride and Prejudice.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

It's not a European.

[A]

It's not European.

[F]

No, no, it's British.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Oh, it's British. Okay. Okay.

[A]

It is.

[E]

That's.

[F]

Thank you. Okay.

[E]

Sound like it was. It is, like, avant garde. Like, European.

[A]

No, no, no. It's a British movie that women really love. They're like, you. Have you seen Pride and Prejudice? And she's wanting me to watch Pride and Pred. Prejudice, and I. And I can't get myself to do it. Have you seen it?

[F]

I've seen the original. There's a one before that.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But you saw the original one.

[F]

Yes.

[A]

Now tell me about it. You like. Like it? Not your cup of tea.

[F]

Not my cup, but it's a good movie.

[A]

It's a good movie. Okay. All right, all right. So that's all I was getting at.

[F]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah, Yeah, I liked it.

[E]

Gone with the Wind.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Another popular female.

[A]

Female movie. Yeah,

[C]

yeah.

[E]

You guys like Titanic?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, because there's. I'll tell you why. Because there's a disaster movie element to it, and I love disaster movies. So, yeah, I really did like Titanic

[F]

and it really happened, you know?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And also, there's a historical value right so in Pride and Prejudice, if there was some sort of hurricane or like a twister in the middle of it. Right? And British people up in the air here.

[F]

You know what we need? We need a 911 love story.

[E]

Wait, there is one?

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

There is Robert Pattinson.

[A]

Oh, really?

[F]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[A]

So I'll watch it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

There has to be some sort of, like, you know, I mean, disaster. Yeah. Like in Shakespeare in Love, there's also an alien invasion.

[F]

Whoa. Right?

[A]

So you have the same story. Right. But also beep, beep, bop, bop. You know what I mean?

[F]

All that stuff. Yeah, that's a good call.

[D]

So, like, the Notebook would have a school shooting or something.

[F]

Yeah, there you go.

[A]

No, no, that's not what I was saying. Yeah, I was saying a natural disaster.

[E]

Talk about incel.

[D]

But you said 911. 911 was natural disaster.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Twister.

[F]

Twist.

[A]

I already said that. Hold on.

[B]

No, you didn't.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

All right, all right. How about this? How about this?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

Love story during the Malibu fires.

[A]

That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

I'm shooting a podcast in the hills.

[A]

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

[F]

Two lovers and then the house.

[A]

Two different podcasts.

[F]

Yeah, There we go.

[A]

Anyway, so watch Mark's special on Netflix. He's one of the funniest guys on planet Earth. My opinion and top 100.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Non too pleased. How long does it take you to write? Another hour.

[F]

It's. I write short jokes, so it's going to be a while. I'm talking two and a half years.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[F]

Like that.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[F]

You know, watching Bobby Lee time is a week. Well, how long you been doing stand up?

[A]

30 years.

[F]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's the opposite, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And Bobby Lee's time is 3,000 years. That's what the joke was.

[F]

Thank you.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, go ahead.

[D]

I was going to say, I saw you workshopping at all at the Black Cat. Cat. Was it the black cat in New York or the. The pussycat?

[F]

Oh, Black cat.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

Oh, fat black pussycat. Yeah. At the Comedy Cellar. Oh, wow, thanks.

[D]

That's really cool.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And when you're trying out new stuff. And are you good at silence?

[F]

No, it's bad. It's really bad. So that fear kind of motivates me to work harder. Oh, I scared of bomb. I did the store last night. I'm eating. Yeah, but you got to do it.

[D]

Totally.

[A]

You got to do it. All right. Give Mark a round of applause.

[F]

Thank you. Thank you. You.