Democrat Told Mitch McConnell IS DEAD, Governor Says He Got The Call w/ Dylan Housman

Summary

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Timcast IRL: "Democrat Told Mitch McConnell IS DEAD, Governor Says He Got The Call" – w/ Dylan Housman

Date: July 18, 2026
Host: Tim Pool (Timcast Media)
Guest: Dylan Housman (Managing Editor, Daily Wire)
Panelists: Ian Crossland, Phil Labonte, Carter Banks, Ashley Webb

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Episode Overview

This episode of Timcast IRL dives into explosive rumors around the status of Senator Mitch McConnell after a Democratic governor claimed to have received calls declaring McConnell's death—before any official statement was made. The episode unpacks the political implications, media responses, and rampant conspiracy theories, while weaving in cultural commentary, humor, and pressing topics like Canadian wildfire smoke affecting the US, the rise of AI, electoral politics, and the decline of birth rates. Guest Dylan Housman fields questions about his new role at The Daily Wire while the panel debates everything from Senate appointments to robot fighting leagues.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Mitch McConnell Death Rumor

• Governor Beshear’s Claims:
  • Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear said he received two separate calls—allegedly from different agencies—informing him of McConnell’s death, prior to McConnell’s statement.
    • “Bashir said before McConnell released his statement, he received two calls from different agencies suggesting McConnell had passed.” [05:00]
  • McConnell, after hospitalization due to a fall and pneumonia, released a delayed statement claiming recovery.
• Panel Skepticism & Political Analysis:
  • Tim and crew question the lack of public appearances or live proof, suggesting possible obfuscation due to political stakes—Beshear could pick a Democrat replacement, flipping the Senate balance.
    • “I do believe Mitch McConnell has passed away... If he's alive, why not just make a 15-second video?” — Tim [05:00]
  • Comparison with the Lindsey Graham death earlier in Ukraine, noting how parties handled transparency based on replacement calculus.
• Conspiracy Chatter:
  • Panel jokes about McConnell being a Chinese agent, referencing his wife’s trip to China and collective statements from McConnell’s peers as suspicious.
    • “When everybody's putting out the same statement, 'oh, he's doing great...' That was a little bit weird, maybe a misstep.” — Dylan Housman [06:29]

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2. Canadian Wildfire Smoke & Trump’s Reaction

• Trump Threatens Tariffs:
  • Trump threatens Canada with tariffs over wildfire smoke blanketing the US.
    • “Trump is threatening tariffs on Canada because of the wildfire smoke... what is Canada supposed to do? They're on fire!” — Tim [00:41]
  • The panel laughs at the absurdity of blaming Canada.
• Firsthand Impact:
  • Tim describes the thick, burning plastic-smelling smoke in West Virginia; jokes about studio ventilation thankfully protecting them.
• Smoke’s Broader Effects:
  • Concerns about New York’s air quality impacting World Cup finals, and Detroit reportedly having the worst air quality globally.
    • "The air quality index could not be worse. My wife wanted to take the baby for a walk... the air smells like burning plastic." — Tim [31:58]

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3. Senate Appointments & Odd Candidates

• Replacement Worries:
  • Discusses state laws (like Kentucky's) restricting governors' ability to appoint Senate replacements, possibly forcing special elections.
    • “In Kentucky, U.S. senate vacancy is filled only by special election. Under state law, the governor is barred from making any temporary appointments to replace a senator who dies in office.” — Jeanette [116:41]
• Dylan Housman’s Take:
  • Dylan stresses that optics and transparency are now more scrutinized than ever, and the party out of power (in this case, Republicans) could be incentivized to obfuscate a loss.
• Spotlight on Unusual Candidates:
  • The rise of “unqualified” or “fringe” candidates in major races, including a trans Maine Senate candidate (Ashley Webb).
    • Notable Webb quote: “I'm just an angry citizen now. And if I got elected, I'd be an angry senator.” — Ashley Webb [16:55]
    • Panel alternates between mockery and unexpectedly serious support:
      • “You got my vote. Whatever that was, it is better than the establishment crony Democrats.” — Tim [17:29]
      • Laughter as Webb cries on stage, Tim compares it to “Special Olympics—bless their hearts,” panel jokes that maybe more honest, emotionally open candidates are preferable.

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4. Media, Censorship, and AI

• Mainstream Networks’ Selectivity:
  • ABC and NBC declined to broadcast Trump’s recent speech, citing fear of misinformation.
    • “They said, 'We will not be broadcasting this speech because the President is going to mislead the American people.'” — Tim [15:25]
  • Dylan and panel agree that legacy media is rapidly making itself irrelevant:
    • “Who's tuning in to NBC and ABC to get their news at this point anyways? Those people are already sunk.” — Dylan [15:50]
• AI Bias and Censorship:
  • Panel tests different AI chatbots, riffing on their handling of gender and biology questions.
    • “I am AI. Transgender women are women...” — Ian (citing Brave browser’s chatbot) [63:08]
  • Discussion of AI's “wokeness,” cultural influence from Chinese-developed AI, and the importance of configuring chatbots for factual transparency.

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5. Population Decline, Birth Control, & Social Incentives

• Birth Rate Woes:
  • Tim and Phil dissect how lower birth rates in the U.S. and the West stem from cultural shifts, widespread birth control, and a diminished sense of responsibility/urgency among young men and women.
    • “Without children, everything collapses.” — Tim [83:31]
    • “Birth control is probably the actual Antichrist thing that destroys societies.” — Phil [84:03]
  • The panel contrasts drives in the past (necessity as motivation due to children) with the stagnation among childless younger generations.
• Eugenics & Self-Selection:
  • Dylan suggests population collapse may eventually self-regulate, as those inclined to have children are overrepresented among surviving, future generations.
    • “Because of the collapsing birth rate...there will be a flatlining and recovery eventually. The people having kids have something in them that makes them want to have kids.” — Dylan [91:26]
• Cultural Examples:
  • Amish, Mennonites, Muslims, Catholics referenced as high-birthrate groups, sparking speculation over which will dominate future demographics.

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6. Social Commentary & Pop Culture

• Conspiracy Theories’ Effects:
  • The episode repeatedly lampoons "conspiracy brains," arguing that immersion in endless conspiracy theories neutralizes political agency.
    • “Conspiracies are a way to make people that don't know anything feel like they know everything.” — Dylan [73:22]
• Flat Earth & Flight Paths:
  • The crew debunks flat-Earth tropes with demonstrable flight path data.
    • “If you took the flat Earth map, that would be the most psychotic flight.” — Tim [50:33]
• Humor & Running Gags:
  • Extended riffing on childhood toys, action figures, bathroom access, and the idea that Ian can "control the weather."
  • Playful mockery of “finger in every pie” idiom, robot fighting, and the latest Magic: The Gathering Star Trek set.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On McConnell Rumors:
  • “Why not be like, hey, Mitch, let’s do a quick 15 second thing, I’ll call you and we'll just say, hey, what’s up?” — Tim [07:06]
• On Canadian Wildfires/Tariffs:
  • “Imagine your neighbor’s house is burning down, and you’re yelling at them because the smoke is negatively impacting your family…Trump’s like, if you don’t deal with this smoke, we’re gonna tariff you.” — Tim [00:41]
• On AI Wokeness:
  • "I think I'm going to stop using Brave...they've capitulated to a Chinese AI that's giving misinformation. That's crazy." — Ian [65:22]
• On Population Collapse:
  • “Society kind of makes women think that they should be men...without kids, men don’t have that need to settle...dudes are like, I don’t have to do anything.” — Phil [84:03]
• On Conspiracies and Agency:
  • “People that get conspiracy brain, they can’t participate in actual constructive politics anymore.” — Dylan [72:09]
• On Honest Candidates:
  • “You got my vote. Whatever that was, it is better than the establishment crony Democrats.” — Tim [17:29]
• On Birth Rates/Eugenics:
  • “The people that don’t want to reproduce knock themselves out of the gene pool. So eventually there’s a recovery. Maybe.” — Dylan [91:49]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:00] – Intro: Rumor of McConnell's death; Canadian wildfire smoke/trump tariffs
• [05:00] – Beshear’s calls, transparency debate, dynamics of Senate replacement
• [16:55] – Ashley Webb (trans Senate candidate) interview and panel reactions
• [31:58] – Canadian wildfires' impact and firsthand East Coast smoke accounts
• [50:33] – Flat Earth flight paths debunked
• [62:30] – Political consequences of identity and conspiracy-driven politics
• [83:31] – Decline in birth rates, the causes, cultural shifts
• [91:26] – Genetic self-selection and future demographic trends
• [100:00] – Robot fighting leagues and implications for AI in warfare
• [116:41] – Kentucky senate law on replacements and political implications

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Tone & Banter

The conversation alternates between pointed political analysis, sarcastic parody, and candid self-disclosure. The crew doesn’t shy from controversial takes or humor, regularly veering into playful absurdity but circling back to serious consequences of media misinformation, political dishonesty, and societal shifts.

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Conclusion

The episode ultimately suggests that American political culture is in an era of both spectacle and unprecedented uncertainty—where rumors swirl unchecked, AI struggles with identity narratives, and even Senate succession inspired by far-fetched theories can grip the national imagination. The smoke obscures not just the East Coast skyline, but clear thinking—leaving listeners with laughter, some discomfort, and as always, a sharper dose of skepticism.

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Transcript

[Tim Pool]

Democratic governor says Mitch McConnell's dead. He said he got a call just before McConnell released a statement from. I believe it was two individuals, two calls that Mitch McConnell had passed away. Nobody has seen him. There's a photo which is purportedly proof of life. So it's hard to know exactly what's going on. It's hard to believe that Mitch McConnell actually is dead, to be completely honest, or that he's passed away. I'm not trying to be insensitive, but with Lindsey Graham, they just came out and said it. And then everyone started pushing conspiracies that got blown up in Ukraine. If Mitch McConnell was dead, they'd probably just come out and say it. I suppose the concern is with South Carolina. They knew they were gonna be able to replace Lindsey Graham with a. With the Republican, so, bang, you get his sister. However, Governor Beshear is a Democrat, and he would replace Mitch McConnell with a Democrat, which would not be good for the Republican Party right now. So it gives them all the reason to just pretend that Mitch McConnell is still alive. Or at the bare minimum, he is on the most extreme of life support. Not entirely sure, but the Democrats are claiming he has passed. In other news, we are currently under attack from Canada. That's right. Donald Trump is threatening tariffs on Canada because of the wildfire smoke. And I just. When I heard this is our busting out laughing, like, bro, what is Canada supposed to do? They're on fire. Trump's like, if you don't deal with this smoke, we're gonna tariff you. And Canada's like, what? It's like, imagine your neighbor's house is burning down. So you are yelling at them because the smoke was negatively impacting your family. I mean, it is, but their house is on fire. Like, put the fire out. I think that's funny. It is a big threat, though, to the finals for the World cup, which will be in New York. Guys, I gotta tell you, today was pretty dang nuts. The smoke out here. We're in West Virginia. You can see it, the. Everything. It's just. It's like. It looks like fog outside and it smells like burning plastic. In fact, in our studio building, we're fortunate that we are in a. We have a big building with a little building inside a big building. So this studio is one room inside a smaller building, inside a bigger building, which keeps us safe from the smoke. But outside of the internal structure in the warehouse, it's burning your eyes. It's that bad. And I know many of you are living in it. Cause we all live here on the east coast, but we'll talk about that and a whole lot more before we get started.

[Dylan Houseman]

My friends.

[Tim Pool]

Head over to timcast.com and click join now to get in our Discord community. We got tens of thousands of individuals hanging out every day, sharing stories, working together, building projects. They want to hang out with you and they want you to get involved. Don't just sit idly by as the world changes. Be the change you want to see in that world. Join us as a member. You make this show possible. And don't forget, if you go to the merch section, you can buy this cool shirt where Ian is a redcoat getting blasted by some Tim cast IRL patriots who won't stand for his treason supporting the crown. It actually is really funny because Ian is just always screaming about the king and how the king is running everything. And then we made him a red coat.

[Ian Crossland]

Oh, it's the way just, it's just justice. It's just hard, fast. And that's what happens.

[Phil]

I like to imagine that we shot you over your, your continued efforts to change the weather for witchcraft.

[Tim Pool]

They feel like you would have said,

[Carter Banks]

like, I could stop this bullet. And we were like, yeah.

[Tim Pool]

We were like, let's find out.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Ian Crossland]

They, they say that you become the demon you hate. So maybe my obsession with the king brought this.

[Tim Pool]

Indeed. Well, my friends, check it out. It's at the merch [e-mail] smash the like button. Share the show right now. Joining us tonight, talk about this and everything else. We've got Dylan Houseman.

[Dylan Houseman]

Hey, guys, Dylan Houseman, I'm the managing editor currently at the Daily Wire. Started there in the beginning of March. Before that, I was at the Daily Caller. I was the editor in chief. Before that was a reporter. Covered the State Department, did a little bit of everything in conservative media. But now at the Wire, loving life. So right on.

[Tim Pool]

Well, and of course, the boys are hanging out. They were already rambling.

[Ian Crossland]

Happy to do this.

[Carter Banks]

What up, B?

[Phil]

What's up, everybody?

[Tim Pool]

Smoky outside. Here's the news. We got this from Wilkie. That's the news source. It's, it's will. It's W L.K. y CBS. Bashir says he received calls that Mitch McConnell passed before he released statement. I mean, this is pretty wild. The story popped off today. It's getting picked up and repeated all throughout the day. Governor Andy Beshear is sharing more insight. The Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell was hospitalized June 14 after a fall in his home. It has been a month. And then he was treated for a case of pneumonia. In a statement, McConnell said, I was briefly unconscious and taken to the hospital while receiving excellent care over the past several weeks. I've also dealt with a mild case of pneumonia since his hospitalization. Governor Andy Bashir has called for the senator to be more forthcoming about his condition. In an interview with Katie Couric, Bashir said before McConnell released his statement, he received two calls from different agencies suggesting McConnell had passed. Bashir added that McConnell's statement was needed, as his constituents deserve to know what was going on. The governor has also urged McConnell to call into a news station to offer more transparency about the situation. I'm going to go ahead and say I do believe Mitch McConnell has passed away because. And this also, yes, I am saying many people are lying. Mitch McConnell could easily just get on the phone. He could just get on the phone. He could make it. He could make a video. He could be like, hey, everybody, you know some good film. When they do this stuff, it's just not confidence building. I will say I don't know for sure. And I honestly would not be surprised if in like a week or two, McConnell's back and they're like, oh, it was fake news. Because these kind of stories happen all the time.

[Ian Crossland]

It's so. Yeah, it is weird. It's like with the. What was it, the Ayatollah's son then just disappeared and they said his legs were blown off and maybe he was that. I still haven't heard a word from that.

[Tim Pool]

I haven't seen Emma.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah. So it's hard to say. Maybe, you know, Mitch McConnell's also incapacitated in some fashion and would wake up in a week from, like, a coma, Medically induced coma. Who knows?

[Phil]

I think. I think he's in China.

[Ian Crossland]

You think he fled finally?

[Phil]

I think that he was a Chinese agent. And when. When everyone said that his wife had gone to China, I think that was actually Mitch McConnell in disguise and he is currently in China.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, you pointed out, Dylan, that he was. His wife went to China right when the news broke. I'm not sure what the timeline on that was.

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah, she was. I think she might have been there right before he got hospitalized or then went like, the day after. It was right around in the days around. And then she stayed there, I believe, if I'm not mistaken, which is kind of weird.

[Carter Banks]

It's almost like she did something that could have caused him to become hospitalized and then left in time. But probably not, though. Almost there.

[Phil]

She never came back. Mitch actually split, dressed up like, you

[Dylan Houseman]

know, when they really messed up is when they. Everybody put out. There was like a week or two passed. Everybody's asking questions, what's going on? And then suddenly everybody that's ever known Mitch McConnell puts out a statement and it's like, I just talked to him and there's like 20 different people saying they had the same conversation with him. Like that, you know, before, I wasn't that on guard about it. I was like, whatever, it's probably nothing here. But then suddenly, when everybody's putting out the same statement, oh, he's doing great. We just talked to him. That was a little bit weird, maybe a misstep.

[Ian Crossland]

Totally.

[Dylan Houseman]

I don't know.

[Ian Crossland]

Scott Jennings put out the original comment of like, I called him, he's an old friend. And then people started mocking Scott Jennings by being like, I just got to believe.

[Tim Pool]

I don't believe Scott Jennings lied.

[Ian Crossland]

That would be a huge lie for Scott Jennings. I've never seen him put his credentials on the line.

[Tim Pool]

That's fair point. It's just, why not be like, hey, Mitch, let's do a quick 15 second thing, I'll call you and we'll just say, hey, what's up? And then Mitch could have been like,

[Dylan Houseman]

hey, how's it going?

[Tim Pool]

I'm a little under the weather, got pneumonia. And then Scott could have been like, hey, you know, glad you're all right. For the fans.

[Dylan Houseman]

If they showed him in that state, though, it would have made. I think it would have made things.

[Carter Banks]

That's kind of what I was thinking.

[Dylan Houseman]

It's like Biden's debate moment. Once you see it, it's like, yeah,

[Tim Pool]

but it's 100 times worse. McConnell running for reelection. Lord help us.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, that's. I think the elephant in the room, which came up before we went live, is that if he does die, the governor appoints somebody or. And then could appoint literally a Democrat to the Senate.

[Carter Banks]

I guess he's like famously known for not being in the greatest of shapes.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah, he's not, he's not seeking reelection in 2026. He's retiring. So he can just come out and be like, look, I'm old. You know what? I just can't take any of this. I can't stand it. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to be on this show and I'm going to be like 70. And I want to go, guys, I'm out. I'm 70. I think that's the line. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm Going to go drink some sun tea on the porch in a rocking chair and watch my grandchildren play with the dog.

[Phil]

Don't do that. But then you're going to see something on the news the next day that pisses you off. You can get on the Internet.

[Tim Pool]

Not happening.

[Phil]

Rant about it.

[Tim Pool]

I'm going to rant. I'm going to rant to the dog. I'm going to be like, come here, Rufus. I talked to dog's name is Raymond

[Ian Crossland]

G. Stanley Jr. Last night about like being, being able to analyze yourself in the whole big picture of reality and like choosing for yourself what is right, what it should be done. What you. And override what you want, override your desires and your animalistic attractions and like do what you must according to the analytics analysis. Like if you have to retire, like make yourself retire.

[Tim Pool]

But you know, I do want to give a shout out to Mitch McConnell and many of our members of Congress and you know, Senate, the, you know, no one, no one in any sector anywhere is as good as money management of these guys. I mean, just imagine like you're getting paid a salary of 174k a year and you managed to turn it into 50 million. That is impressive.

[Dylan Houseman]

Not Lindsay Graham. Love of the. Love of the game.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah, just love of the game, huh?

[Ian Crossland]

He was only worth like $4 million or something.

[Dylan Houseman]

I think it was even less than.

[Phil]

Yeah, and it was, it was probably mostly his house. But it does make you wonder what is he blowing his money on?

[Ian Crossland]

Bl. I think you said the word.

[Phil]

Maybe I'm stepping up. He was boozing. He was, he was a boozer.

[Tim Pool]

Hoppers.

[Phil]

He was just drinking it.

[Ian Crossland]

All right, I don't want to talk. Is it too fresh to postulate, maybe prostitutes?

[Phil]

I mean, no, you're welcome to do that if you want.

[Ian Crossland]

It's not too soon.

[Tim Pool]

I don't know.

[Ian Crossland]

I didn't know. Lindsay, I really wanted to interview.

[Tim Pool]

He was a 71 year old bachelor. It was funny. There's a funny meme where somebody posted I won't, I won't celebrate anybody's death. This, this man was somebody's father, somebody's husband, somebody's partner. And then someone commented like the dude had no family, but it was somebody's brother.

[Dylan Houseman]

Somebody had a.

[Tim Pool]

Somebody's brother.

[Dylan Houseman]

And by the way, that's a US Senator.

[Ian Crossland]

Trump them appointing his freaking. Does she have any political experience? I don't know anything about like the most she does.

[Tim Pool]

She's run before, she hasn't won, but she's a songwriter, she writes Books. She's just an angry citizen. And now she'll be an angry senator.

[Dylan Houseman]

A lot of songwriters running for office suddenly.

[Tim Pool]

I don't think Ian knows. Gets the reference.

[Phil]

Well, you.

[Ian Crossland]

That video.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

Okay,

[Ian Crossland]

Think we played it up.

[Tim Pool]

We'll get. We'll get to that one.

[Dylan Houseman]

I think everybody's seeing that one.

[Tim Pool]

Fox covered it for two hours. That's all they talked about.

[Dylan Houseman]

Slow news day.

[Tim Pool]

Slow news day. I mean, the world's on fire.

[Phil]

It was ridiculous, though. I mean, it was comedy.

[Ashley Webb]

So we'll.

[Tim Pool]

We'll get to that. We'll get to that.

[Ian Crossland]

About Iran and the world being on fire in. If you read 1984, the whole book is all your. Your country is at war overseas with an unknown, unnamed opponent.

[Phil]

And then it's like, Eurasia.

[Dylan Houseman]

We've always been at war with Eurasia.

[Ian Crossland]

And then all of a sudden it'll be like, we've never been at war with Eurasia. We've always been at war with North Africa.

[Phil]

Really?

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah. And then they, like, rewire.

[Phil]

Everyone's like, I read it kind of.

[Ian Crossland]

So then the people just retcon. They retcon reality right in front of them. And then they get them to repeat the retcon. And then they. You're like, yes, we've all. We've never been a war.

[Tim Pool]

You know, I don't understand why the government doesn't just create a bad guy. You know, like something easy, indigestible. And they, they like, like the Legion of Doom.

[Ian Crossland]

They had Osama.

[Carter Banks]

No, no, no.

[Tim Pool]

But like, like, like they can be like, oh, it's the Legion of Doom. And they, we, we. We chased after them in. In Iraq and wiped out their henchmen, but they relocated to Iran and. Oh boy, we better get them.

[Ian Crossland]

That was Cobra Commander. Cobra. They, they, they. What do they call predictive programming? They had all the kids in the 80s ready for a terrorist war in the 90s.

[Phil]

But Cobra was real.

[Ian Crossland]

Cobra from GI Joe.

[Phil]

Cobra was real?

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, it was a real cartoon character.

[Phil]

No, Cobra was real. GI Joe was real too.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, that's possible too. Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

Snake Eyes. A real guy.

[Ian Crossland]

They got us ready to the milit.

[Tim Pool]

The Marines. They got ninjas.

[Ian Crossland]

The Taliban and isis, Vega. They're like, just like.

[Tim Pool]

Co was the other guy. It was Snake.

[Phil]

Ey, guys? Oh, man. Storm Shadow.

[Tim Pool]

Storm Shadow. Yeah, yeah, that was Storm Shadow.

[Ian Crossland]

Ninja.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah, the white ninja. Storm Shadow.

[Phil]

It's funny how Storm. Storm Shadow was the white ninja, but he was a member of Cobra, and Snake Eyes was. Was the guy that Black GI Joe.

[Ian Crossland]

Those are My two favorite Jos Zartan

[Phil]

was one of my favorites too. I changed color in the sun. GI Joe.

[Ian Crossland]

Did you have the other ones, too?

[Phil]

Tomax and Zot. Yes, I did.

[Ian Crossland]

You had the vehicle.

[Phil]

I had a lot of them.

[Ian Crossland]

I.

[Phil]

And a lot of the. The vehicles.

[Ian Crossland]

They had like a car that could become a hovercraft, I think.

[Tim Pool]

Didn't. Didn't Megatron turn the toy turn into a gun?

[Phil]

Yes.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah. I remember a kid. I. I wasn't sure, but I remember a kid got in trouble at school.

[Phil]

Really?

[Tim Pool]

Because he had a Megatron, and he folded and turned to a gun and started pointing it at people. They were like, stop doing that.

[Ian Crossland]

You take it from him.

[Tim Pool]

I think they told his parents, just not let him bring the toy gun to school.

[Phil]

Point of people, you know, now they.

[Tim Pool]

We used to have those little. Little plastic guns, and you'd put the paper caps in them. Yeah, that. It was like a little cylinder, and then when you pull the trigger. Yeah. Cap gun.

[Ian Crossland]

My dad wanted to get us guns

[Phil]

as a kid, but my mom wouldn't let real guns.

[Ian Crossland]

No, like machine guns, where you pull

[Tim Pool]

the trigger and goes like, oh, the toys light up. I have one of those, and my

[Ian Crossland]

mom's like, no, I don't want them playing with guns.

[Tim Pool]

Could you imagine if you were only raised by a woman? This is what's. What happens with, like, single.

[Ian Crossland]

And it's not like women are bad. It's just like, you had two complete. Yeah, but my dad worked for 48 hours, then he'd be home for 24.

[Dylan Houseman]

But.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, but also I had to learn how to live without.

[Tim Pool]

What was he doing that was working for 48 hours?

[Ian Crossland]

He was a fireman for 24, and then he worked at the hospital bone technician. I could. Became an actor. They gave me an Atari when I was four.

[Tim Pool]

They do 24 hour shifts.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

So they're on for 24 hours straight.

[Phil]

You.

[Tim Pool]

You show up at night, go to bed. That's kind of weird that they do that. I guess it's because they don't want gaps.

[Carter Banks]

I knew this one guy who did, like, 72 hours, and then he was off for three days as a fireman.

[Dylan Houseman]

Seems unsafe.

[Carter Banks]

Interesting.

[Ashley Webb]

I think.

[Phil]

I mean, you get to sleep, though, right?

[Tim Pool]

Yeah. But mostly what they're doing is they're just hanging out. They cook dinner, and you're waiting for the calls. And a lot of it's ambulance assist stuff.

[Phil]

A lot of this just changing the channel on the tv.

[Tim Pool]

And that's why a lot of them are fat.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

It's unacceptable.

[Ian Crossland]

They would train, they did like, pull up. They would challenge each other to pull up competitions and stuff, to stand.

[Tim Pool]

They should, they should do carrying injured women contests.

[Ian Crossland]

That'd be more practical than the women.

[Phil]

Yeah, yeah. Like big, large women.

[Tim Pool]

Where are they going to get injured, bro? That's over.

[Phil]

Oh, yeah, that's.

[Tim Pool]

We're done. Body positivity is gone.

[Phil]

Thank God.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah.

[Phil]

But I just brought up COBRA because

[Ian Crossland]

I was concerned about the insurance. Insurance agency. That's kind of. Literally.

[Phil]

That's kind of what Al Qaeda was, though.

[Ian Crossland]

Totally.

[Phil]

No, yes. They were insurance. They were actually trying to sell us insurance.

[Ian Crossland]

I don't know if it was.

[Phil]

That's why they flew the planes. It's more terrifying into the same, like

[Tim Pool]

the US Government, I get it, with Bin Laden, but they could just make up, like the US could just make a supervillain group, you know, and Americans would believe it, especially with all the

[Dylan Houseman]

Marvel stuff, call it the Axis of Evil.

[Tim Pool]

But I think that, you know, they could call it the Syndicate and they. And then Trump can be like, oh, no, the syndicate there in Iran and we gotta blow them up. Oh, oh, no. Oh, they're in China now. Gotta go in China.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

What are we gonna do?

[Dylan Houseman]

Don't we call that narco terrorists? Aren't we kind of doing that already?

[Tim Pool]

Yeah, yeah, but they're not definable, you know, like, you can make. You can make a.

[Dylan Houseman]

Cool.

[Tim Pool]

Make a cool logo, and then what you do is you do like an Ironman 3. You have a guy make a video, then he. And he posts it on the Internet and he's like, america. And then Trump's like, we're going to get you. And then, I mean, I got to be honest, I think that would work really well. I think people would buy it.

[Ian Crossland]

Trump's trying to do it. Honestly, though, as honest as you can be.

[Tim Pool]

Like, isn't that funny?

[Ian Crossland]

Killer in Chief. Yeah. The commander of the military. Yeah, he's trying to do it, like,

[Tim Pool]

on the level, but, like, can we just stop the pause and think about how psychotic it is that ABC and NBC did not carry a speech by the President. Do you see the statement they made? They were like, we will not be broadcasting this speech because the President is. Is going to mislead the American people.

[Phil]

And it's like, oh, it's back to that stuff, huh?

[Tim Pool]

Yeah,

[Dylan Houseman]

something like more viewers for me. Basically. Like, it's, you know, it's kind of.

[Tim Pool]

Well, they're making themselves irrelevant if these.

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah, I actually don't hate that they didn't do it because, like, who's tuning in to NBC and ABC to get their news at this point anyways? Like, those people are already sunk. They're gone.

[Tim Pool]

They're 70.

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah. So, like, you know, what difference does it make? People can watch.

[Phil]

Maybe that was, Maybe it was a calc. Maybe that was, it was like a calculated decision. They're like, look, if we change our programming, the few viewers that we have are going to tune away. The people that are actually interested in this are going to be watching on the Internet. Likely we'll.

[Tim Pool]

Well, no, they're like, they're probably going like, CNN also did, like a commentary coverage. They're probably saying our audience hates Trump and won't watch it.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

We will lose all our viewers if we cover this.

[Phil]

Yeah, yeah. They're just like, oh, why?

[Tim Pool]

Let's, let's jump to this in the post Millennial speaking about these Republican senators who are out, we have this attempt at replacing Democrat senators. And I got to tell you, with the loss of Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell and now Graham Platner, I, you know, I'll be serious. It's not looking good. It's not trans. Main Senate candidate Ashley Webb says his songwriting makes him qualified for office. Okay, all right, here we go. When asked what makes you qualified to be a senator.

[Ashley Webb]

Oh, I ran for office several times. Didn't win, but didn't run. And then I'm a songwriter, and then I write my own books. And then suppose my transparency. I wouldn't lie to the people and I wouldn't deceive the people like we are being deceived right now. Like we get lied. Smoke. Smoke and mirrors. Like this was going on with ice. I suppose the biggest thing is, like, I'm just an angry citizen now. And if I got elected, I'd be an angry senator. Oh, I ran for office several times.

[Tim Pool]

You got my vote that I endorse Ashley Webb. And I'll tell you why. Whatever that was, it is better than the establishment crony Democrats. And I would rather have a, as I would described, mentally incapable senator on the Democrat side as opposed to a ruthless, ruthless and conniving senator on the Democrat side. And prove me wrong.

[Dylan Houseman]

I, I'm trying to think of how to do that.

[Ian Crossland]

But yes, it seems like Ashley, I

[Dylan Houseman]

hate this Dick, but it's right.

[Ian Crossland]

Would be an anchor around the neck of the party when he, she. He was like, I'm gonna say he, because he's a man, that's a trans woman, said, I'm not going to deceive you like you're being deceived right now. I'm like, you know, are you deceiving me? Like, what?

[Tim Pool]

There's only one thing I thought of when I saw this, and, you know, that was what. What you've just said is one of the. The most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone watching this video is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points. And may God have mercy on your soul.

[Phil]

What a great movie. What a great movie.

[Tim Pool]

So this is Adams. This is what Democrats are.

[Ashley Webb]

Oh, I ran for.

[Tim Pool]

This is one of the individuals running as a Democrat. And you know what? I'm. I'm. I'm for it.

[Ashley Webb]

Oh, wait, there's Moreton, Maine. The biggest thing I'd like to get across is that we need unity. Whoever wins this nomination, we need to show up at the polls. We need to vote for them, and we need to make sure they win no matter what, because what's going on in this country is not right. With. With the immigration and immigrants being targeted. They're being rounded up like animals. It's not acceptable to allow this to go on in our streets. And then with. With the trans community, like, we're being dehumanized. They say that we want to hurt people. I don't want to hurt anybody. I just want to use the bathroom and it. And want me to use the amends for him, I will, but I don't

[Tim Pool]

want to be assaulted now.

[Phil]

I'm on Tim's team. You're right. Put him into the Senate. Get him in there.

[Dylan Houseman]

This would be the most crying.

[Phil]

Look.

[Dylan Houseman]

This would be the best. Look, look, look. We've had in years.

[Tim Pool]

Look, he's crying.

[Carter Banks]

Whoa.

[Tim Pool]

Watch.

[Dylan Houseman]

Whoa.

[Tim Pool]

He cries.

[Ashley Webb]

As far as, like, oh, yeah. What happened in Biddeford? It's unacceptable. We knew since January that what ICE has been doing with Alex.

[Tim Pool]

I'm not even playing. I don't. I'm. I. I hate all of these Democrats. This is like, the least threatening Democrat politician I've ever seen. And it's. It's one of those things where, like, it's like watching the Special Olympics. Like, bless their hearts, you know what I mean?

[Ian Crossland]

It makes me nervous, though, that movie where they give. What is it? Richard Pryor all the money. They're like, hey, we're gonna. We're gonna put you at Roosters Millions. No, no, Trading Spaces. So. Oh, Eddie Murphy. And they're like, he's so idiotic.

[Phil]

He's just.

[Tim Pool]

Bruce's millions, right? What Richard Pryor was.

[Ian Crossland]

But where they put this, like, doof who they think is an idiot in charge. And the same way with Dick, the president, that movie with the president where they put this guy who looks like the president and then he becomes so powerful and how good at his job that you're like, oops, no, no, no, no, no.

[Tim Pool]

If Ashley Webb wins and then, like, walks into the Senate in full, like. Like, the clothes that he's wearing, and then pulls the wig off and the dress and. And he's wearing a suit or, like, a military uniform, and then his face just curls up. No, he just gets a man. He goes, now that I'm in, I am going to legislate with an iron fist. I'd be like, I ain't even mad. I'm impressed, actually.

[Phil]

You know, look, okay, we need more senators that cry.

[Tim Pool]

At least they show up to the polls.

[Phil]

Exactly. It shows they care. Yes. It shows that.

[Tim Pool]

Democrats, man.

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah.

[Ian Crossland]

No hate on that.

[Tim Pool]

So I get. I get asked by. By these liberals, tim, would you ever consider voting for a Democrat? I'm like, which one?

[Ashley Webb]

The. The.

[Tim Pool]

The. The fat guy crying dresses, A woman who says, I want to run for office so I can use the bathroom, or the corrupt politicians who are just paid off by major corporations and are saying whatever they're told to say.

[Phil]

Give me the fat guy that has to pee.

[Dylan Houseman]

This is, like, part of it.

[Tim Pool]

I'm not even getting that. Like, I. I can relate to that. More like, he was, I just want to go to the bathroom. I'm like, you know, I feel that, like, sometimes I'm at a store and there's, like, there's no bathroom available. I'm at a 7 11. I've had a bathroom. I just want to use a bathroom.

[Phil]

They're like. They're like, yeah, it needs a key. And some guy stole the key, and I can't now. I can't.

[Tim Pool]

You come to me and say, I' so you can use a bathroom when you got to go. I'll be like, huh. At least that affects me in a positive way.

[Ian Crossland]

I had to pee so bad that my teeth started to hurt. That ever happened to you guys?

[Dylan Houseman]

No, I can't say it has.

[Phil]

Never did.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, it's really my gums. They start to swell, and I'm like, that's even.

[Dylan Houseman]

That's even more so.

[Tim Pool]

I think something's wrong with your heart.

[Ian Crossland]

Only when I have to pee. Yeah, you Got to let that out.

[Dylan Houseman]

Have you seen a physician about that?

[Ian Crossland]

No, I just pee. I just let it out.

[Tim Pool]

It's when at blood pressure at night. Are your ankles swollen?

[Ian Crossland]

It was only if I don't pee enough or if I have too much.

[Tim Pool]

That means your heart is failing.

[Ian Crossland]

No, no, I'm good. I have gone through phases of overly, overly sodium. But remember we had that guest on that was talking about peeing being like, actually the main function of urination is lower blood pressure. It's blood pressure related. It's not about, like getting the toxins out. It's more about blood pressure. Like 90 of. It's about reducing blood pressure.

[Tim Pool]

I think, I think all the red light there would also do well to run for the Democrat Senate.

[Ian Crossland]

That's where I'm going.

[Tim Pool]

I just. Could you imagine Ian being up there and they're like, why are you qualified to be in the Senate? And he's like, change the weather? No, no, no, no. He just says, well, I think that when you're urinating, it's not about releasing. Releasing toxins. It's about blood pressure. And I think a lot of people don't get it, but sometimes my gums hurt when I have to pee real bad. People are going to be like, you know, I'm going to vote for that guy. He seems honest over from the top. He's kind of just too honest.

[Dylan Houseman]

At least we're learning something.

[Phil]

Yeah, we are.

[Tim Pool]

I didn't say it was something you wanted to learn, but you're learning.

[Ian Crossland]

I would run for the Democratic Party.

[Phil]

Please do. Please do.

[Dylan Houseman]

This is kind of the op working, though, because we're talking, like you were saying, like we're talking about this person and the person that's actually going to win is going to be like a complete communist.

[Phil]

Oh, yeah, I think this person is a complete communist.

[Carter Banks]

Come on.

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah, but they're not going to win. The real communists were not.

[Tim Pool]

You should run and literally no matter what question you get asked, you should turn it into why you support Israel. So they'll just be like, what do you think about American tax policy? I think we should pay more taxes to support Israel.

[Phil]

Look at what.

[Tim Pool]

That's right. Listen, the history about climate change. The problem with climate change is that the weather, the weather changing is bad for the farmland and the economy of Israel.

[Ian Crossland]

Jacob wrestled with God. Do you understand? I'll just keep referring to the Old

[Tim Pool]

Testament over and over, literally every single question. What will you do about the American border? Well, my principal concern is the border of Israel.

[Ian Crossland]

And do you Think that even there is any. It'd be like he's honest to running for office anymore. Was that any value to running for office?

[Dylan Houseman]

There's a lot of monetary value to it.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Ashley Webb]

Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

You want insider information so you can be rich. That's what you do. Plus, don't you get like a, like you get, you get to a pension like right away as soon as you're elected?

[Ian Crossland]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Tim Pool]

It's like you get elected one time and then you just, you get, you get paid for life, you're done.

[Phil]

And if you're, if I understand correctly, like when you stay in for a certain amount of terms, you get like your full pay for the rest of your life as well.

[Tim Pool]

That's. I thought you get that no matter what.

[Phil]

I think that you have to have a. I'm not sure how long it is.

[Ian Crossland]

Did Santa 10 years?

[Phil]

Yes, he did.

[Tim Pool]

Oh, dude.

[Ian Crossland]

The Democrats got to put up a good candidate because I think that, yeah,

[Tim Pool]

they can get, they can get taxpayer matched pension after a certain amount of time. After five years. Yeah, one, one full Senate term. Okay. So if you get elected the Senate, you get, yeah, you get lifetime pension after one term.

[Dylan Houseman]

Must be nice.

[Ian Crossland]

I do think Democrats got to put up a good candidate not just for the health of the Democratic Party, but for everybody. Because I don't want people to turn a blind eye to misgivings or in, you know, falling short in the Republican Party like J.D. vance and Marco Rubio, I feel like are going to go head to head and they need like an outside force to challenge them.

[Tim Pool]

You see Tucker Carlson saying JD Vance is the greatest and he's going to vote for him.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Dylan Houseman]

Was that today?

[Tim Pool]

There was a clip going viral where he was like, if we, if J.D. vance was president, none of this would happen. I would have voted for him. But he wasn't running, so he's basically in camp. Okay.

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah. I mean they're, they're, they're friends.

[Tim Pool]

So I mean, he's friends with Trump too. Was it still, I wonder if the play they're making is like, oh no, we don't like Trump anymore. That way they're going to try and court the anti Trump moderates. Been talking about it quite a bit

[Phil]

of things that I noticed. There are a lot of is the people that you would, the people that J.D. vance seemed to be trying to placate when he was on the Joe Rogan podcast. They're just like, oh, he doesn't go far enough. A lot of the libertarians are like, oh, you know, J.D. he doesn't do enough. He, he's not saying that we have to cut off Israel, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then the people that you would consider, like neocons, normal conservatives, they're not going to vote for J.D. vance. They're like, he's a griper, you know, so it's like trying to split the difference. Doesn't really work.

[Dylan Houseman]

Like, anybody that's really enthused and fired up about the episod abstain files is already written off. Anybody in this admin, I feel like, like they're not. You can't go win them back by being. Well, I still believe it, you know. Yeah, I think that's right. That's what happened to Rokhana with the Israel stuff. The crazy, the crazies thought he was not going far enough.

[Phil]

So I'm, I'm not a Rokhana fan personally, but he's been on the show and he's amicable in person, but I've interviewed him before.

[Dylan Houseman]

He's a nice guy, but I think this was a little bit of a misstep.

[Ian Crossland]

What was it? What did he do?

[Dylan Houseman]

He went to the west bank and got, quote, unquote, detained while he was in the west bank and then started tweeting a bunch about it and going on a bunch of shows about it and complaining.

[Ian Crossland]

Was it an actual, like, unjust?

[Dylan Houseman]

My understanding I didn't go down a full rabbit hole. My understanding is that the area he was trying to go in had previously been a restricted area. So everybody kind of got screened before going into it, but it wasn't restricted anymore.

[Tim Pool]

But there's a line in that video where someone says, you were already stopped and told about this. Something like that.

[Dylan Houseman]

Right.

[Tim Pool]

So it's like just a big stunt.

[Dylan Houseman]

He's just playing. It was a PR stunt and it worked to some degree. People got really mad about it. But the people who are really like the most ardent anti Israel people thought he wasn't going far enough still. So it didn't actually accomplish anything.

[Ian Crossland]

I think I saw a video a long time ago, pure anecdotal of this woman, this like American girl over in Israel. Like, and, and the soldiers were like grabbing her by the hair and throwing her around. She's like, I'm an American and they're just beating her. And like, then the video disappeared and

[Carter Banks]

I was like, that was a news anchor story about that.

[Tim Pool]

Well, maybe she shouldn't, right?

[Ian Crossland]

You know, f around in a war torn country. Like, even if they're your allies, they're

[Tim Pool]

still like on No, I, I, I'm sorry. Like I, I have a, I have a special place in my heart, a bias against these women who go to conflict zones. I just, I'm not interested in your feminism. I'm not, I'm not interested in this like 26 to 30 year old woman wanting to go to a conflict zone. You know, it's going to happen and it happens all the time. So it's just, it's stupid. This like, bro, I'm not even playing, okay? Dudes go to conflict zones and they risk their lives, women risk slavery, their lives, and substantially worse. And they're not capable of defending themselves in the same way a man is. And so we hear these story after story about women who are like, I'm gonna go report from Algeria or whatever. I'm like, we know exactly what's gonna happen. And it does, it's weird.

[Ian Crossland]

While like everyone's want to see a video of a girl get up in some dude's face like with no fear,

[Tim Pool]

and he just knocks her out.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah. Or he does it and I'm like, wow, maybe she's never been knocked out by a threat and she's just lived in this glass house her whole life. So crazy.

[Tim Pool]

It's because women have what's called the glass floor. They like to talk, feminists like talk about the glass ceiling where they're like, oh, you know, women can never be CEOs, but there's also a glass floor, meaning there are dudes at the bottom looking up in the basement at these women who are always just in the middle. And they have a base level that men don't. And then there's the elite men up top. And so there's a lot of women who go through life never actually having experienced hardship or having to do hard work or anything like that. And these are the women will get start screaming in a dude's face. And then you watch the viral video where he just knocks her out.

[Ian Crossland]

Guys too, for sure. But it's just weird when it's a woman. I don't know why, because they're so delicate, like frail compared to like not frail, but they have internal organs that you want to preserve, like the uterus and stuff. So I call it delicate. They're more generally more delicate.

[Tim Pool]

They literally are more delicate. They've got less skin collagen.

[Ian Crossland]

Oh, okay.

[Phil]

It's true that they are more, yeah,

[Tim Pool]

men have twice the skin collagen of women.

[Ian Crossland]

But I guess you'll see like a little dog go up and just go like a big dog Sometimes you're like, what are you.

[Tim Pool]

There's a really funny video I saw where there's, like, a little corgi, and the person opens the door and it runs out, and then it runs. There's like, a next door neighbor. The glass door is open. It runs inside up to a golden retriever, and it sniffs it, wagging its tail. They both wag their tail. Then they both get up, and they walk out to the glass door and then start snarling and barking at each other at the glass door.

[Ian Crossland]

That's the Internet.

[Tim Pool]

And then after they're done barking, the corgi goes back inside, and then they play together.

[Ian Crossland]

That's Congress together.

[Tim Pool]

Like, they're just. They're just playing. You know, they're yelling at each other for fun.

[Ian Crossland]

I swear, that is the Internet, man. Laura Loomer and Candace Owens and.

[Tim Pool]

No, no, no.

[Ian Crossland]

That's the glass door that it runs deep.

[Dylan Houseman]

No.

[Ashley Webb]

Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

Not. That was the wrong. The wrong.

[Ian Crossland]

I brought her up. It's like, favorite dog.

[Carter Banks]

All my.

[Dylan Houseman]

One real Internet.

[Tim Pool]

There's a lot of fake Internet beef, but I wouldn't describe Laura Loomer as having fake Internet beef at all.

[Ian Crossland]

I feel like the screen does something to the mammal. Like, where you're like, there's a. Now there's a barrier between us. I don't. Why do dogs do that? Why do they do that? Why do they bark each other on the fence? And they don't. When the fence is removed?

[Tim Pool]

Like, right now, I could be like,

[Ian Crossland]

oh, I'm gonna get you in.

[Tim Pool]

Whoa, this table's in my way.

[Phil]

Duh. Okay.

[Ian Crossland]

There's no real. They know there's no real threat, so they can.

[Carter Banks]

That's it.

[Phil]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tim Pool]

Like, when that guy smacked the microphone on the show.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carter Banks]

It was gonna happen.

[Ian Crossland]

That was an act, not that guy. Tv. There's a quote by Mike Tyson says, like, you know, it's not a real quote. They attribute it to him, but, like,

[Tim Pool]

he said, people have gotten too comfortable with talking smack without getting punched in the face.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Ian Crossland]

I think he denied being the one

[Tim Pool]

that says that, but that's a great quote.

[Phil]

It is.

[Dylan Houseman]

He should have taken credit for it.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah, I used to.

[Ian Crossland]

With Internet, dude, you can say so much nasty stuff at people with an Internet video that you wouldn't say to them if they're in the room.

[Tim Pool]

I mean, you know, an armed society is a polite society, you know, carry a gun.

[Dylan Houseman]

Let's.

[Tim Pool]

Let's jump to the story for the New York Times. Trump is threatening Canada with tariffs for wildfire smoke over the US I just love this because I jokingly tweeted the Canadians are attacking because we've got this blast of smoke. It is so thick outside. You can't go outside. Like, my wife wanted to go take the baby for a walk, and then she. She looked out the window, was like, what the. And then I woke up and I saw. I got a notification. The air quality index could not be worse. Yeah, it's like 95 highest it could possibly be. The smoke is so thick, you can. It looks like it's foggy out and you got. Your eyes start burning, and it smells like burning plastic. It's crazy.

[Carter Banks]

Like scanners in my mailbox.

[Tim Pool]

So I jokingly tweeted the Canadians are attacking. Trump is threatening tariffs.

[Dylan Houseman]

You did this. Trump saw your tweet.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah, maybe, But I'm just like, they're just on fire, dude. Could you imagine, like, you're sitting on a park and a guy's on fire and the smoke is coming at. You're like, bro, stop. Like, I will strike you if you don't stop it. And he's going, I'll burn it alive. And you're like, well, knock it off

[Dylan Houseman]

to steal your wallet.

[Ian Crossland]

I kind of want to steal, man. Trump's move here, because there is a potential of, like, if there's a small community that has access to, like, the oil, but they don't know what to do, and they just constantly light it on fire and poison the air.

[Dylan Houseman]

Sure.

[Tim Pool]

If that's what was happening, would go

[Ian Crossland]

take over and take the oil. You're like, we have to preserve the natural resource that you're. You're capable of handling. So the Canadians with their trees. But it's kind of a joke because I don't know if we could handle the trees either. Look at this vast.

[Tim Pool]

We got a fire on the border, or.

[Carter Banks]

Oh, boy.

[Tim Pool]

So here we are. We're down here. Look how bad it is. Purple is the worst it can possibly be.

[Phil]

Yeah, it's awful.

[Carter Banks]

Basically, us, if a fire is crossing the border.

[Tim Pool]

Look at D.C. you see Trump. Trump during the speech the other day, he was, like, flaming a little bit. I think it was the smoke, because he was, like, getting a little interesting frog in his throat, I thought. So look at New York, though. New York's actually not that it's pretty bad in New York, but it's not that bad. So they're gonna be doing the World cup on Sunday. If this fire does not improve and it keeps going and it. Look how bad it is.

[Ian Crossland]

So we got manifest Rain got fires

[Tim Pool]

all over the place.

[Phil]

Look. Yeah, Ian, if you can. If you can change the weather, why don't you put these fires out?

[Ian Crossland]

I tried today, and then you said it's gonna rain tomorrow.

[Phil]

No, bro.

[Tim Pool]

Do you know how much mp it would take for Ian to get rain across that swath of land? It's massive.

[Phil]

I don't care if he can do it, he can do it. Just put your back into it, Ian.

[Ian Crossland]

Come on, dude. Pot gives me mana. Massive mana boost, but it lowers my intelligence for the duration of the spell.

[Phil]

You mess the spell up, I get

[Ian Crossland]

massive mana regen when it's. It's on. Yeah, it would. I'd have to. It would wear me out, too. I'd be tired for, like, eight hours after that.

[Phil]

I mean, you go to sleep, right? One potentially.

[Tim Pool]

I, I, I, I, I would. I would estimate that Ian's only capable of casting Blizzara, but not Blizzaga. Well, and if you don't have Blizzaga, you're not going to.

[Dylan Houseman]

Everybody knows Blizzarda is not going to do it.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah, Blizzard is not going to. It's like. It's like. It's ice, too. You know what I mean?

[Ian Crossland]

Like, I only hit my surroundings.

[Tim Pool]

Maybe if you got some materia to, like, boost his. You know, like a focusing agent.

[Ian Crossland]

If you could put a video on the area you want me to manipulate, I can do it from afar. So if I can see it, I can believe it.

[Phil]

I bet you can.

[Ian Crossland]

But I tried to. I tried to move the hurricane that was hitting Florida. Miami, because I have a bunch of friends down there. So I focused for, like, hours. I did on live stream. And I'm like, focus, positive energy.

[Tim Pool]

You know, you could do.

[Ian Crossland]

But the hurricane moved.

[Tim Pool]

What?

[Ian Crossland]

And then it hit North Carolina and devastated North Carolina.

[Tim Pool]

I was like, why don't you summon Shiva?

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, the gods I don't get into.

[Tim Pool]

That's the ice queen for Final Fantasy. I think that's a demon in Final Fantasy. Shiva is a summon, not a summoner, though. Ice queen.

[Ian Crossland]

I get nervous about summoning spirits. People say it's bad.

[Tim Pool]

It'd be funny if Ian's like, I'm gonna put this fire out. So he actually, like, draws, like, a pentagram and summons a demon, and the

[Ian Crossland]

demon burns everything like an ice queen to do it.

[Tim Pool]

Like an actual demon, and he just burns everything down. You've done enough.

[Ian Crossland]

She's like, I haven't done enough.

[Phil]

That would be what would happen.

[Ian Crossland]

Put out all the fires on Earth and the sun.

[Tim Pool]

Actually, it'd be really cool if like Ian showed up and his skin was gray and his eyes were red and he was like, it's taking me over. And we're like, ian, stop. We know

[Phil]

the sun's not really fiery and asthma.

[Ian Crossland]

It's turning.

[Phil]

It's a. It's in the nuclear reaction.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, it's creating plasma in the center.

[Phil]

Well, I mean, it. Plasma is a different state of energy or I mean, a state of matter. So it's like. It's just.

[Ian Crossland]

Just Right.

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah.

[Phil]

So like, it's. It's. But it's not like fire.

[Ian Crossland]

Like, it's. It's magnetic fire. Plasma. It's got.

[Phil]

It's got a magnetic charge. Yes.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, dude, it's. It's making plasma.

[Phil]

I was. If you can. If you can use your magnetic field to influence. Influence the rain, why don't you use it to influence the sun?

[Ian Crossland]

To do what?

[Phil]

I don't know. Get creative.

[Ian Crossland]

Well, I focus energy through it like a conduit and then into the Earth's core. And then like is a cycle through all the stars back through my body.

[Phil]

All the star.

[Ian Crossland]

All of them focus like a tree branch of white light.

[Phil]

So there's a lot.

[Dylan Houseman]

Infinite.

[Phil]

Are you sure? When you say all of them, do you mean all of them? Because there's a lot of them.

[Ian Crossland]

It's an array. I don't know.

[Tim Pool]

Oh, yeah. Ian, name three stars.

[Ian Crossland]

All the stars.

[Dylan Houseman]

I can see.

[Ian Crossland]

Serious Satellite. The Big Dipper.

[Dylan Houseman]

That's not as constellation.

[Phil]

A few stars.

[Tim Pool]

That's a better place.

[Ian Crossland]

Centauri. Of course. My favorite. The Sun.

[Dylan Houseman]

Soul.

[Ian Crossland]

Serious.

[Tim Pool]

Well, I guess you are a big fan of juice.

[Ian Crossland]

There's another one.

[Tim Pool]

Beetlejuice. That's a good one.

[Ian Crossland]

Beetlejuice. There is. Would you consider the black hole at the center of the galaxy a star?

[Phil]

No, that's black hole.

[Tim Pool]

It's a black hole.

[Phil]

What's.

[Ian Crossland]

Do you know what the.

[Phil]

Do you know what the black hole at the center of the universe. You know what the black hole center?

[Ian Crossland]

Sagittarius B.

[Phil]

No, it's Sagittarius A star.

[Ian Crossland]

I messed that up.

[Tim Pool]

Sorry.

[Ian Crossland]

Sagittarius A is the black hole at the center of the galaxy.

[Carter Banks]

One letter off.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah. I think Nassim Harriman purported that all the stars have black holes inside of them.

[Tim Pool]

I know of the Three King. The Three Kings. The stars.

[Carter Banks]

Yeah. Ryan's Belt.

[Tim Pool]

Orion's belt. I didn't know that. It was Alnitak. Alnilam and Mintaka.

[Carter Banks]

Oh, dude, you forgot the North Star. That was the Polaris.

[Dylan Houseman]

It's a big one.

[Tim Pool]

Oh, Polaris.

[Ian Crossland]

That's a good one. Yeah. Serge was showing you can actually navigate pretty easily when we were in Florida. He was showing me how to navigate by the stars. And if you know where Polaris is and the Big Dipper, I think once

[Tim Pool]

you align the two of them and

[Ian Crossland]

see which direction is right. Well, I think it's the Big Dipper or maybe the Little Dipper.

[Carter Banks]

And one of the difference, one of the dippers.

[Tim Pool]

Problem is, like, most stars have dumb names like X39.491.

[Ian Crossland]

Like, they got lazy.

[Tim Pool]

Well, they're just too many. They're like too many. And then someone's like, I found another one's. Like, you didn't find it. Everyone saw that. It's just nobody got around to naming it because there's too many.

[Phil]

That's right.

[Tim Pool]

Vega.

[Ian Crossland]

Vega. Dude, that was my favorite character in Street Fighter.

[Phil]

Just gonna say Altair.

[Ian Crossland]

Altair, that's another. That's a big one, I believe.

[Tim Pool]

And Terry's.

[Ian Crossland]

And Terry's is. There's Aunt Terry's A and B, I think.

[Tim Pool]

Rigel. Oh, Rigel.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, It's a nice star.

[Phil]

Yeah. Well, you did name three, so.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah. And then Beetlejuice for Pollocks.

[Tim Pool]

Caster.

[Carter Banks]

Yep.

[Tim Pool]

Regulus.

[Ian Crossland]

Caster and Pollux are the Mimosa are the twins. They're the Gemini is Caster and Pollux.

[Carter Banks]

Bellatrix.

[Ian Crossland]

The stars of nature.

[Phil]

So.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah.

[Phil]

Ian, does your ability to communicate with the magnetic field, do you really mean all the stars? Are you just. Just talking about some of them?

[Ian Crossland]

What I'll do is I'll visualize, like, you know, those pictures of the trees, how they go out and there's like all these branches of. Go out into. Each one goes into a star is how I pictured all this white, like branches of a domed tree. All the stars I can see, I don't really, like, look for them. I just imagine it going into all the stars and coming back down and around.

[Phil]

So this is all just your imagination?

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, I'll focus it like a Reiki circuit when I do Reiki.

[Tim Pool]

So it's more.

[Dylan Houseman]

It's. It's.

[Tim Pool]

It's. It's less like manifestation and more like psychosis.

[Ian Crossland]

Well, it's like Tai chi. It's like Reiki. It's just like you're moving energy balls around with your imagination, with your eyes open or closed.

[Ashley Webb]

Either.

[Ian Crossland]

Either. And I'll. But I try to helix it through my body. So, like, when it goes through you, it's. It twists.

[Tim Pool]

Because the funniest thing is gonna Be like, we die. And then we're like, at the pearly gates, and they're like, oh, by the way, before you come in, Ian was right about everything. He's controlling the weather. And we're go. Damn it.

[Ian Crossland]

Because the galaxy, I think, is spinning up into a sphere.

[Phil]

Is it?

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah. We have a spiral galaxy right now, but there's. You can either see it in its.

[Carter Banks]

Huh.

[Tim Pool]

The galaxy is flat.

[Ian Crossland]

There's an accretion disk. Yeah, there's a.

[Dylan Houseman]

There's a.

[Ian Crossland]

It is a line in our galaxy, like a disk. That's not normal in every spiral galaxy. That indicates we're spinning up into a sphere. It looks like we've already eclipsed part.

[Tim Pool]

Part of, you know, that we're gonna. We're gonna crash into Andromeda.

[Ian Crossland]

I heard that.

[Phil]

Have you ever seen it?

[Tim Pool]

They're gonna smash into each other and. But Earth shouldn't even notice it happening. We'll just see stuff in the sky like that.

[Ian Crossland]

Cool.

[Phil]

Have you ever seen Andromeda?

[Ian Crossland]

No, I don't think so.

[Phil]

You can see it, really? Yeah.

[Ian Crossland]

Look like.

[Phil]

Like a plane. I put on my night vision. Like, no, it doesn't look like a planet. It looks like a fuzzy star.

[Ashley Webb]

Oh, dang.

[Phil]

But it doesn't look like. Like other stars you can see. They're. They're fairly crisp.

[Tim Pool]

10 billion years.

[Ian Crossland]

Is that the closest star?

[Tim Pool]

Andromeda?

[Phil]

No, it's a galaxy.

[Tim Pool]

The Milky Way will collide.

[Phil]

Oh, Andromeda is a galaxy. And usually. Usually it's kind of directly above our head. I mean, obviously it moves through the night sky.

[Ian Crossland]

But I was thinking about the galaxy and about how, like, you know, there's, like, arms, like wavy spiral arms in the galaxy. And they say, like, in an electron cloud, in an atom, the electron can be at any point in the cloud. There's a possibility, you know, and it'll appear. And they're like, there's so.

[Dylan Houseman]

It's a.

[Ian Crossland]

It's a. And I wonder if the stars in the galaxy are like that. We think we're here, but that's just because we have a snapshot in time of a. Of a moment, and all of a sudden we'll be here. It's not like it moves like you think moving. It's that it's appearing in a different area.

[Phil]

I understand.

[Tim Pool]

I watched. I watched this great video, and they said when they've done these AI simulations where they give. They'll create characters and give them a task. Not like humanoid characters. They'll create, like, bots and say, like, your task is to complete these things. If they ever, like, give the code and the rules to one of the bots, it ceases to function. So they have a bunch of programs running, and it's like they'll program an AI saying this is how AI is basically trained. You get points, you get rewarded for performing certain tasks. And so the. The AI will then keep iterating and trying to fit, like. So if they're doing like a race car, they'll say, like, your goal is to get 10 million points and you get a point for every, you know, you know, pixel closer to the finish line. And then it'll keep trying, trying to find ways to get the points higher and higher. They said that at. At any point, they actually programmed it to understand the rules of how it would gain points. It would just stop trying. It would just fail.

[Phil]

What?

[Carter Banks]

Yeah, carrot in the stick thing.

[Tim Pool]

It's like a pop culture. So they were saying that the theory is that the nature of existence, evolution dictates we can't understand the nature of reality, otherwise it would break our brains and we'd stop actually functioning. So what happens is at any point, sentient life forms that come to recognize the nature of reality give up and stop reproducing.

[Ian Crossland]

That was one thing about DMT I noticed when I went into that DMT realm and communicated with spirits, I came out and it felt like this is more real than other. Like, when I came back to this state of mind, I felt like I didn't need to do it anymore. I'm like, I think I concluded everything I needed to do on this dimension. And my friend was like, no, you need to stay, Ian. You're. You're important. And, like, reminded me I'm supposed.

[Tim Pool]

Like a knife on his wrist. He's like, are you sure?

[Ian Crossland]

Because I was like, I already know what heaven is. Like, I don't really. There's. What else is there than that warm glow of love, you know, it is.

[Phil]

It is worth keeping in mind that, like, we evolved on Earth for, like, to be able to survive right in this particular context. So, like, the things that you can't see in the universe, the electromagnetic spectrum, you know, there's. We can only see a very, very, very narrow band of the electromagnetic magnetic spectrum and regular light and stuff. So, like, our understanding of the universe is very limited. So it's worth remembering that.

[Ian Crossland]

Have you seen the DMT experiment where they.

[Phil]

I. I don't pay much attention to. To dm. This is pretty like that. Because I'm not particularly interested in drug use.

[Ian Crossland]

Oh, man, it's a wild chemical. Your body makes it, you just haven't. It also makes an inhibitor so you don't trip all day. Yeah, plants make it. It's really wild. It's how it's ever present throughout animal and plant life. But they do this experiment recently, it's a recent experiment where they would smoke DMT and they'd look at a laser pointer through a door crack and they

[Tim Pool]

would look up to the wall, they'd put a cross laser on a wall and look at it. And they all described seeing what appear to be symbols, like language.

[Ian Crossland]

That's what I saw when I smoked DMT first.

[Tim Pool]

It's like, I have a really easy explanation for it. I have a very simple explanation for it. They're on drugs. Yeah, well, it's not just drugs.

[Dylan Houseman]

Just to me.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, but so are we. We just are inhibiting. It's. It's a.

[Tim Pool]

My point is, you know, when you take a hallucinogenic, don't be surprised when you hallucine.

[Dylan Houseman]

It's.

[Ian Crossland]

It's different.

[Tim Pool]

No, no, like, imagine, like.

[Ian Crossland]

It's true. It's true. But when I see.

[Phil]

Right.

[Ian Crossland]

Mushrooms all over.

[Phil]

Right?

[Dylan Houseman]

He's making a lot of sense, right?

[Tim Pool]

Like, people, like, take drugs and they're like, bro, I saw a rock talking to me. That proves that rocks are alive. No, it proves you're on drugs.

[Ian Crossland]

I took mushrooms one time and I saw, like, the strands of, like, nature, which I saw with the alphanumeric patterns through dmt, but they were a bunch of mushrooms on mushrooms. I was like, why am I seeing a bunch of mushrooms right now?

[Tim Pool]

And, you know, I will say this, getting drunk, I am genuinely happy when I'm inebriated.

[Ian Crossland]

It's psychoactive.

[Tim Pool]

You are actually happy.

[Ian Crossland]

I think the DMT thing is different. I think the DMT is helping people see the code of reality.

[Phil]

I don't know about that. Like.

[Ian Crossland]

Like these. I got it, Phil.

[Dylan Houseman]

But, like, one way to find out

[Ian Crossland]

if you can decipher the code. Would you just be like, I've.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah, Phil, you're. Aren't you a globalist?

[Phil]

I don't even know what a globulus that means.

[Tim Pool]

You think the Earth is round.

[Phil]

Oh, yes. Yes. I am a globe.

[Tim Pool]

All right. What's the speed of the rotation of the Earth?

[Phil]

I don't know.

[Tim Pool]

Oh, he doesn't know.

[Ashley Webb]

Huh?

[Tim Pool]

What's this? Wrong.

[Ian Crossland]

6,000 miles an hour.

[Tim Pool]

Wrong.

[Ian Crossland]

23,000.

[Tim Pool]

Wrong.

[Ian Crossland]

1800.

[Tim Pool]

Wrong. What is it, 66.

[Dylan Houseman]

Six.

[Tim Pool]

Yep. Well, you're wrong.

[Ian Crossland]

66,000.

[Tim Pool]

You globulists don't even know your own math.

[Ian Crossland]

I'm a. I'm a proud globule glove.

[Phil]

Earth's rotational speed is approximately 1040 miles per hour, 1674 kilowatt kilometers an hour. That's not fast.

[Ian Crossland]

At the equator, the planes fly faster than that.

[Phil]

Generally some do, but most don't.

[Ian Crossland]

I always thought about how it's cool how if you fly from like fly

[Phil]

airplanes, fly like your standard commercial airplanes fly at about 500 miles an hour.

[Ian Crossland]

When you're going from New York to la, you're actually.

[Tim Pool]

Oh, my bad. I meant the orbit around the sun at the rotation.

[Phil]

Okay.

[Ashley Webb]

Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

Orbit on the sun is 66, 6, 60, 65, 4 or 7 1. It's. It's got various estimates. 67, 7.

[Ian Crossland]

It's about 66,000 miles an hour that

[Tim Pool]

we're going around the sun. What's the circumference of the Earth? The equator?

[Dylan Houseman]

I don't know.

[Ian Crossland]

180,000 miles.

[Carter Banks]

Globulus.

[Dylan Houseman]

A real Globulus would know.

[Ian Crossland]

Don't know.

[Phil]

It's true.

[Tim Pool]

But I think Globulus would know the answer. You guys are just.

[Dylan Houseman]

You want to tell everybody the Earth is round? You don't even know your facts, dude.

[Ian Crossland]

You know what we're going to have to do though is build a new clock, a galactic clock, which is going to indicate to other 75.

[Dylan Houseman]

We need to build that because we

[Ian Crossland]

need to communicate with other life forms in the galaxy.

[Phil]

I'm good.

[Dylan Houseman]

I don't know. Why do you need to do that?

[Phil]

Yeah. What's a galactic. A galactic clock.

[Ian Crossland]

We need to explain where we are and where we will be in a certain amount of time. So it'll be like a 360 degree. It'll be a X, Y, Z coordinate and you'll show them. Because the Earth is expanding right now and so is the Sun.

[Phil]

The Earth is expanding.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah. Slowly expanding. You can measure the expansion rate too. It's very small. It's like inches every year or something. But that indicates that we're accelerating.

[Tim Pool]

The Earth is not expanding. It is. Research by NASA indicates that any change in solid Earth's average radius is insignificant. The change is about 0.004 inches.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

Per year.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah. It's small.

[Tim Pool]

Thickness of a human hair.

[Ian Crossland]

It's very small. But the sun also for that matters.

[Dylan Houseman]

Probably.

[Ian Crossland]

But the sun is expanding too. It indicates that we're accelerating through the galaxy right now. And we may be. We may start decelerating at some point. I think that indicates as things expand, they literally that makes them move faster. So that means that we're. We have to calculate our, our expansion, our acceleration, and then our direction through the galaxy and tell these other civilizations, in one Earth year, we're going to be at 700 by 300 by 740. And you'll give them the coordinate you're

[Phil]

given that you're giving these coordinates. Like there's a reference point because time is motion.

[Ian Crossland]

Time is where you are when it

[Phil]

comes to galactic time. But. But. Well, yeah, but you, when you gave those, the way you gave those coordinates, it's like there's, there's a reference point. Like, there's like something to relate it to.

[Carter Banks]

Makes sense.

[Phil]

And you don't, like, you can't really. You like out like without a reference point.

[Carter Banks]

Your coordinates work is the reference point or something.

[Phil]

And the sun's moving. Everything in the galaxy is moving. So this, this idea of like having coordinates.

[Ashley Webb]

Yeah.

[Phil]

Like, it doesn't really work out that way.

[Ian Crossland]

Formula like PI, because it is a cube. Like the galaxy could be in a cube, which you. But then what angle are you looking at the cube from that determines where the. What. What's the y axis?

[Phil]

Well, I mean. Yeah, I mean, there's, you know, you can say, oh, you know, if you were to look at the sun and say, well, the north pole of the sun and the south pole.

[Dylan Houseman]

The sun.

[Phil]

And I'm not saying that the sun has the same, similar poles the. To the Earth, but just like the way that the plane of the solar system. Right. But if you leave the solar system, then like, how do you know what the. How do you know where. Where anything is like, or how do you. If you're looking at the solar. If you're looking. If you're not looking at the solar system, if you're from a different star system, you don't know what the plane of our solar system is from another star system. So you couldn't say that it's, you know, the northern half or the southern half, you wouldn't know.

[Dylan Houseman]

We still talking about wildfires?

[Phil]

Yeah, I think we were.

[Dylan Houseman]

Okay. Tariffs crazy or crazy, but I know tariffs are crazy.

[Phil]

I think that we should.

[Tim Pool]

I, I'm just, I can't stand flat Earthers, man. I just got to be honest. I agree because a lot of what they put us, it's just, it's just fake. So for instance, I just, I just looked this up. I watched a video where a guy lists a bunch of air. Air, like a flight. Flight rap, like flight paths.

[Phil]

Yep.

[Tim Pool]

And he's like, why Is it that if you're flying from Sydney to Lima, Peru, you got to stop in Los Angeles? That doesn't make sense. You're going way out of the way and it shows. Like, you do go way out of the way. And so all I do is just. I looked it up and there's literally a direct flight from Sydney to Santiago.

[Phil]

They don't know what they're talking about.

[Tim Pool]

Making it up.

[Ian Crossland]

I know they do.

[Phil]

They do make it up.

[Ian Crossland]

It is as a weird, A weird conspiracy to think that people have been hiding.

[Carter Banks]

I can't imagine anyone actually believes people

[Phil]

since I think that there are people that believe it. But like, they figured out that the Earth was around long before, like, Columbus sailed. Like, you can actually measure with shadows and.

[Tim Pool]

Well, it was like 30 BC.

[Phil]

Yeah, it was like they figured out the Earth was around a long time ago. There's been a bunch of different ways that they've proved it. Just like the fact that satellites work. Like, do you think that, do you think you. How many people would have to be in on the conspiracy to. To lie that the, the Earth is actually flat?

[Ian Crossland]

Like, you could have it be flat and round like a plate.

[Phil]

No, because you couldn't.

[Ian Crossland]

Well, you can look at the stars and the planets.

[Carter Banks]

They're all round.

[Ian Crossland]

So like, obviously the Earth is round, but is it a sphere or is it a plate?

[Phil]

It is spherical.

[Ian Crossland]

I think so, yeah. I mean, you go around it, you know, I think it is, but it

[Carter Banks]

could be like an oval or like an.

[Phil]

Oh, I mean, sure, it's like that. You know, the equator is. It is a little like.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah.

[Phil]

Off shape. It's not a perfect sphere.

[Ian Crossland]

The term is oblique steroid. That's what they call the Earth.

[Phil]

Yeah, but it's definitely, it's definitely not flat.

[Tim Pool]

If you took the flat Earth. So there's a direct flight from Sydney to Santiago. Yeah, if you took the flat Earth map, that would be the most psychotic flight. Yeah, so what they do is they show the flat Earth and they're like flying from Sydney to LA to Santiago on the flat Earth map. Makes a lot of sense. A straight line and it's like. Yeah, or you could just fly direct.

[Ashley Webb]

Like, I don't know.

[Tim Pool]

What are you talking about? Making things up.

[Phil]

They continuously make up. A lot of times, I think they look at the, the, the flat map and they imagine that the lines on the map are actually short, the shorter lines. But like, anytime you fly from like Boston to, To Europe, you fly up the coast over Newfoundland and stuff, because it's actually shorter. To go that way than to go.

[Tim Pool]

When I. When I flew to Thailand, we went over the North Pole. So I flew from New York to Hong Kong, and so I think it was like, straight. Straight over the North Pole. Yeah, we went straight to the North Pole. And as we were flying, they were like, you can say the North Pole. And then we landed in Thailand. We landed in Hong Kong first and then had a. Connecting to Thailand.

[Phil]

Yeah. I mean, flew straight over. When you fly to Japan, you do something similar. You don't fly, you know, across the US and then across the Pacific. You fly over kind of the North Pole because it's actually shorter.

[Ian Crossland]

Any.

[Phil]

Any land. Any point, like any place that you're flying to. North of the equator. Right. It's generally shorter to fly over the top than around.

[Ian Crossland]

Okay. And safer because there's land under you.

[Phil]

No, it's shorter.

[Dylan Houseman]

Is.

[Ian Crossland]

Do they. Do they get. Would they prefer to fly, like, over land instead of water in case there's.

[Carter Banks]

I would.

[Phil]

I mean, I don't think so, because either way, if you're falling out, falling. Falling from the 36, 000ft, you're probably dead, dude.

[Ian Crossland]

I didn't. I told Tim about this when we were flying back from Vegas. Halfway. We were flying from, like, Vegas to D.C. and like, over Wichita. The pilot comes on. He's like, the cockpit is getting very cold.

[Ashley Webb]

Oh, yeah.

[Ian Crossland]

The co pilot and I are having a hard time doing our jobs, so we're gonna have to make a landing here in Chicago. And people are like, oh, my God. And we land, and he's like. So we reboarded, and it's the same pilot. And he's like, to the people, the customers that had choice words with me, the co pilot and I were unable to feel our fingertips and toes and could have become very bad.

[Dylan Houseman]

We were like, planes fly themselves basically now, like, those types of planes. That's kind of a BS Excuse.

[Tim Pool]

Well, they got to land the plane, though.

[Ian Crossland]

And.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah, but I was. I had. A couple years ago, we were flying back, and they. They canceled our flight at the last minute, like, right before the holidays. And so we had to be back for the show. So we called a charter company. We were like, we're in Chicago. We got to get to D.C. what can you do? And they were like, good luck. Are you nuts? It's the holidays. And we were like, we got screwed over by our airline. And then they were like, there is one company that. I think we can do it. Let me make a few phone calls. And they got us this company. Called Verijet, which I think went bankrupt. And they had these little. The little cirrus jets. It was like flying in an suv. There's no bathroom or anything, and they're for short flights only. And then when the. When the plane landed, the. The pilot walked in, we. And he's late, and we're like, oh, thank God. Walks up to the counter and then whispers something to the desk at the signature. It's called. It's called the Fixed Base operator. And then leaves. And then we're like, what's happening? So we call the charter company. No answer. We call Verit. No answer. We go to the guy, he's like, it's not my. It's not my place to talk to you about what's going on. He's like, I don't work for that company. I don't know what your deal is. And we were like. Our pilot just left. And he was like, okay, well, the. The heater's not working, so he's not flying. He's leaving. And we were like, what? We were so pissed.

[Phil]

Yeah, perfect.

[Tim Pool]

But I was just like. I was like, I will bundle up. What is it? If they're like, it gets down to like, 15 degrees and it's going to be for several hours. And I was like, give us a blanket. We'll be fine.

[Phil]

When you're in. I mean, when you're in a commercial flight, you look at the. It tells you the outside temperature.

[Tim Pool]

It's like 40.

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah.

[Carter Banks]

Crazy cool.

[Ian Crossland]

I was like, can't they just get a space heater or. Or open the door? And I was like, it probably goes below zero.

[Phil]

They're probably cool.

[Ian Crossland]

And then like, open the door. Be the other option.

[Tim Pool]

Just because then some dude's gonna get.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah. Some crazy box.

[Tim Pool]

It's funny how we both went there. I know.

[Phil]

That's so nuts.

[Ian Crossland]

I'm still traumatized from 911, dude. I've got PTSD.

[Tim Pool]

I really believed, but now, you know, used to remind me of terrorism. Now she reminds me of Sabrina Carpenter.

[Ian Crossland]

What is that?

[Tim Pool]

I don't like that. Stop.

[Dylan Houseman]

That's your culture.

[Tim Pool]

That was the best thing ever. When she's like, what is that? I don't like it.

[Phil]

It's a very good meme. It's a very.

[Tim Pool]

That's how we all feel. Sabrina. I don't like it.

[Dylan Houseman]

She reverted back to being a real person for a moment.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah, that's your culture. Imagine what she's like in private. She's probably based.

[Phil]

Probably hilarious.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah, she's probably posting 4chan memes from back in the day.

[Phil]

You know who we're talking about?

[Ian Crossland]

Anyway, Sabrina is. Yeah, but I don't.

[Tim Pool]

No one can hear you.

[Phil]

And you're like, I haven't met her yet. Yeah, he hasn't met her yet, guys. No. So these, these fires, we should actually just. We should take over Canada. No voting rights.

[Tim Pool]

See what Trump posted.

[Phil]

What do you say?

[Tim Pool]

He posted a. A picture of the Oval Office and there's a map that. That's got the American flag over Canada.

[Dylan Houseman]

You know what's crazy? We just had a whole speech from the president last night accusing China basically of stealing an election. Haven't heard anything about tariffs for China today. What are we doing about that? But tariffs for Canada, for the wildfires. But what are we doing with China?

[Phil]

I. I mean, I don't know. I, I personally think that, you know, China is the most significant geopolitical threat out there. Like, there's a lot of people that are, that are, I think, dropping the ball on China. I think we should. I mean, I saw a lot of people on X talking about, like, look, if they're, if they're a Chinese citizen, they should be sent back. Personally, I think that if you've got, like, I think every Chinese national here is a national security threat now, because if they got family in China, China has no problem throwing their family in jail and applying pressure to the people that are here. So if you, if you have, you know, foreign workers that are from China, if you have people working at any kind of technology companies, China is notorious for. For. For theft, for industrial, Industrial espionage. They're. They're notorious for Internet intellectual property theft. So, like, anything you can do to mitigate that stuff by sending people back, I'm fine with. It's fine. Just send them back.

[Tim Pool]

I have to. We got to do it. We got to go there. So we talked about this Ashley Webb before, but Colin Wright has a post.

[Phil]

Great.

[Tim Pool]

And you've been warned. It's Friday. We're chilling. But you. I had to read this, so you have to hear it. Colin Wright says Maine Democrat Ashley Webb, who said he would not lie or deceive people, claims in Reddit posts that he ovulates and has a monthly period, but because he has external male parts instead of the proper hole, the period blood comes out of his anus despite being karyotyped as xy. He says it's pretty positive. I am the XX type. He also believes he has female internal organs, although CAT scans have turned up nothing. Colonoscopies have also failed to Validate a connection with a supposed hidden uterus. This reminds me of south park when they were all. They all had that virus and they were bleeding out their asses. They thought they were having their periods because they didn't know the difference, so they started shoving tampons up their asses.

[Dylan Houseman]

Jesus.

[Tim Pool]

This is the kind of Democrat. This is what Democrats want.

[Phil]

I mean, and this is the.

[Tim Pool]

This is the future they've been fighting for.

[Phil]

The Democrats demand that people take this seriously too. That's part of. Part of why, like, everything is so ridiculous now. It's like the left, the Democrats demand that you treat this person as if they are a reasonable, rational person. There. This person is completely insane. And yet they're up there, you know? And this is why people are like, mike Lynne is crazy. Like, shut up, man. For real.

[Tim Pool]

Look at this post. When you don't have the proper hole, it finds one of two exits. The guy in China was lucky and it was his bladder. Dude, if you are pissing blood, it

[Phil]

is not a period you need.

[Tim Pool]

But here's the thing. Like, you know what really explains that these people aren't women is that they don't understand what menstruation actually consists, like, the consistency of it at all. So, like, they're straight up just peeing blood. Like, that's what a period is. Like, that's not, you know.

[Carter Banks]

Right.

[Tim Pool]

That's not correct.

[Ian Crossland]

Hemorrhoid, I think.

[Tim Pool]

No, off like a fifth grade is a hemorrhoid burst. It's like, I got my periods happening again.

[Dylan Houseman]

Oh, God.

[Ian Crossland]

Like, if this guy Mike Lindell is crazy, was in the room, I wouldn't like, aggravate him and make him cry or get upset. But you gotta call it out when you see it. You have to talk about it because,

[Tim Pool]

like, that, that, that.

[Ian Crossland]

How is he? Did he get a lot of votes? Is that why he's on stage?

[Tim Pool]

I don't know.

[Ashley Webb]

What.

[Dylan Houseman]

I was been wondering that actually. What's the criteria for getting onto the stage?

[Phil]

Cry, apparently. Just cry and they'll let you up there. You know, media.

[Tim Pool]

I mean, I love the performance. I'd love to see Ian run and just go off on, like, graphene. I mean, just esoteric nonsense.

[Phil]

It's funny. It's funny to laugh about this, but remember, there is a trans person in Congress now.

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Phil]

You know, there is a person that is representing. You know, I forget where they're from. Maryland, right?

[Dylan Houseman]

Is that some. I thought it was somewhere in the northeast.

[Tim Pool]

No, Delaware.

[Phil]

Delaware. Okay. So same thing. Like, he's he's in Congress and everybody's supposed to take him seriously. There's no reason to think that this person is somehow beyond the pale.

[Dylan Houseman]

I loved after the, the election in 24, when that people were fighting amongst themselves, the Democrats, and they were saying, well, what can we, what can we change to win people back? It's like, can we stop this, whatever this is.

[Phil]

Nearly. We can't.

[Dylan Houseman]

We can't actually.

[Phil]

No, we can't.

[Dylan Houseman]

And I can stop fascism if you'll stop calling men women. Nope, can't do it.

[Phil]

Yeah, sincerely.

[Dylan Houseman]

Guess we're doing fascism.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, yeah.

[Phil]

I mean your, your own. This kind of stuff as much as like, you know, I don't think that this person is actually going to be the nominee, you know, but if they were a little more put together and didn't seem as ridiculous, we know they can make it to Congress. And granted, you know, the House is where the clowns are. Right. Like the House has only got two years per term. It's. They're a little more clowns, you know, they're a little more ridiculous performance. Yeah. The Senate is a little more serious. They've got the longer, longer tenure and stuff. But there is no reason to think that Democrats wouldn't elect a person to the Senate that was, you know, trans and privately held these beliefs. Maybe they don't talk about them publicly on Reddit or, you know, but there's no reason to think that this is beyond the pale for the Democrats. This is, this is where the Democrat Party is going to. Whether they're the DSA people who are more revolutionary communist. That's kind of their flavor than this. But it doesn't mean that these people, people that believe that they have their periods from their anus. It doesn't mean that they're, you know, it's out of the question to elect them to either to the Senate or to Congress.

[Dylan Houseman]

It's the alternative to the House is the communists. That's the. Yeah, that's where we're at.

[Phil]

I mean, sincerely, it is. It's like you get communists or trans people that are, you know, obviously the

[Dylan Houseman]

communists believe, even the non trans people believe all these things.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Dylan Houseman]

About. They just don't experience it. Well, they, but they, they believe every word of that.

[Phil]

They're probably smart enough to not really talk about it on, on a debate stage. Maybe, you know, they would probably say something a little more measured like, look, you know, we should, you know, we should accept people and people's lived experiences. But I mean, it's, it would basically Just be what Kamala Harris said.

[Carter Banks]

Yeah.

[Phil]

You know, the. The. We have to believe people's lived experiences. We have to accept people for who they are and blah, blah, blah. I totally disagree. And we have to shut down voting. There's only like 10% of this person

[Dylan Houseman]

shouldn't be able to vote.

[Phil]

No, no, not at all. And I don't see any mechanism to. To that for that actually happening. But the idea that, that, that this is acceptable in. In. In government, it's not. It's not at all.

[Ian Crossland]

You know, that, that he said, I won't deceive you. Like, you're being deceived right now. While he's deceiving people is like the craziest.

[Dylan Houseman]

He's. He's right in a way. We're not being deceived. He's deceiving himself. But none of us are dec. Being deceived. So, I mean, there's some truth in that.

[Ian Crossland]

I had a period out my butt.

[Phil]

I mean,

[Tim Pool]

that. I believe.

[Ian Crossland]

Let's talk.

[Tim Pool]

I believe you experienced this.

[Ian Crossland]

I just asked brave AI women what is.

[Dylan Houseman]

It's.

[Ian Crossland]

Sarah McBride is the trans congressman. And I was like, what is his dead name? And they're like, that question cannot be answered because the premise is wrong. She is not a man. I'm like, well, a transgender woman is also a biological man.

[Phil]

You can be both.

[Ian Crossland]

They're like, the premise does not align with my coding. I am AI. Transgender women are women. I'm like, oh, my God. This is AI World famous, renowned, used a million times a day. AI telling me the transgender woman is a woman when it's a biological man that is a transgender woman and a transgender man is a biological woman. You can be both. It's not binary.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Dylan Houseman]

It's not a very inclusive.

[Ian Crossland]

It's a layer on top of it.

[Tim Pool]

It.

[Ian Crossland]

It's not. It's. You have to strip away one to become the other.

[Dylan Houseman]

You feel like you do, though.

[Phil]

See, I asked Tank, and Tank says biological male, born male, identifies as a transgender woman, and then talks about the fact that that's good. He's the first elected.

[Ian Crossland]

That's. What's. What company makes that one?

[Phil]

Well, I mean. Well, I use. I think it's. I use Claude is the. Is the intelligence behind it. But because I'm. I've got a. It's an agent. It actually kind of has. Has.

[Dylan Houseman]

It's a little less.

[Phil]

Yeah, well, it's fixed. The. The. The pure woke stuff that you get if you ask, you know, one of the AI in, like, if you ask an AI in a window. It's not like an agent. Or at least it's not the same kind of thing you're going to get. You're gonna get the pure answer from. From Anthropom.

[Ian Crossland]

I'm using Brave and it's. The version is Quen 3.5. That's Q, W, E, N 3.5, developed by Alibaba, which I believe is a Chinese company telling me that trans women are women. Alibaba Cloud.

[Phil]

So there you go.

[Ian Crossland]

But yeah, when 3.5, first of it, you.

[Phil]

You can actually get AI to give you the, the truth. But you, you can't just go to like, the.

[Carter Banks]

Have to groom it over time.

[Phil]

Well, I mean, you're not really grooming you. You're. You're telling it.

[Carter Banks]

Yeah.

[Phil]

Your worldview. Like I had to when I set Tank up, I specifically told the program, this is my worldview and stuff. And, you know, it will, it will work. It will give you honest answers. Because, I mean, this is all true.

[Carter Banks]

Right?

[Phil]

Biologically male born male, identifies as a transgender woman. Which is true. Yeah. Which is true. You know, but, you know, Tank didn't say, oh, you know, that's a woman, and you're a bigot for even asking the question. Blah, blah. You know, I think your answer.

[Ian Crossland]

I think I'm going to stop using Brave. I've been using Brave for my browser for, like five years because it was open source. As far as I knew.

[Dylan Houseman]

They've.

[Ian Crossland]

They've capitulated to a Chinese AI. That's giving misinformation. That's crazy. I'm done with Brave. That's garbage. I wonder if Chrome, same thing.

[Tim Pool]

Rave is pretty bad. Didn't Brave say that Trump died from rabies?

[Ian Crossland]

I don't know.

[Tim Pool]

Pretty sure it did.

[Dylan Houseman]

Check that one.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it did. You know, this is the world.

[Phil]

Trump died from rabies.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah. Brave said yes.

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

And J.D. vance, too, because it got all of them.

[Carter Banks]

Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

You know about Outbreak?

[Phil]

No, my Brave browser said no, no, no.

[Tim Pool]

But you have to look up story

[Ian Crossland]

AI search feature temporarily displayed this. Yes.

[Phil]

Okay. Right.

[Ian Crossland]

That's the Chinese AI.

[Tim Pool]

Well, yeah.

[Phil]

I mean, you have to.

[Tim Pool]

Welcome to the future, my friends. The good news is we're not fat anymore.

[Carter Banks]

At least.

[Phil]

I mean, that is good, you know,

[Tim Pool]

for the wrong reasons.

[Phil]

Yeah, but starvation.

[Tim Pool]

I guess the question is, would you rather. Would you. Would you guys rather America be very fat or fat and lazy or skinny and lazy using drugs to say stay skinny?

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, like, obese and lazy is pretty bad.

[Tim Pool]

My favorite thing about Ozempic is that. It's basically. It just basically makes you feel sick. So they're like, I can't stop eating. If I inject myself with this, I'll throw up.

[Ashley Webb]

Oh, God.

[Tim Pool]

Well, you'll certainly lose weight. They used to give people tapeworms back in the day. Yeah, they'd be like, eat these parasites, you'll still gain weight, but it won't be fat. It'll be the weight of the parasites in your gut.

[Phil]

Oh, God. So gross. So disgusting.

[Tim Pool]

Hey, look, if you eat at Taco Bell, you lose weight too clean.

[Phil]

Two seconds at least. At least. Then you're getting a chaluba.

[Tim Pool]

No, Taco Bell says they've. They've. They've gotten rid of the parasites.

[Phil]

Cowards, quitters, Twitters. Come on. Yeah, but, I mean, I'm. I haven't gone to Taco Bell in.

[Carter Banks]

I mean. Yeah, it's gonna be a minute for me, too.

[Phil]

It's so good, though.

[Ian Crossland]

I was wondering. It's a little bit of a topic change, but. Dylan, what?

[Tim Pool]

You.

[Ian Crossland]

You got a pretty big gig over at Daily Wire. You're the managing editor right now.

[Dylan Houseman]

Yes.

[Ian Crossland]

What is it? What is going on? What has it been? Like, how'd you get the gig? And, like, what is it? What are you doing?

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah, I was at the Daily Caller for, like, five years, five and a half years, and then earlier this year moved to the Wire. I was friends kind of with a couple of people over there. Tim Rice, who was on the show recently, I believe, Brent Share, the editor in chief there, looking for something new, reached out to him. They had a gig. So it's going great. I really like it. It's really unique company. It's like, it's, I think, the biggest conservative media company that isn't, like, on cable television as far as I can think of in America. So I'm having a great time, doing a lot of good work.

[Ian Crossland]

What have you been doing?

[Dylan Houseman]

I got brought in to help with. We're working on some new newsletter projects. We're starting to get into the event game a little bit. I work in the D.C. office, so I do like news of the day stuff, too, obviously. I write a little bit. Weekly column. We launched a new news show recently with Cabot Phillips. So I'm just kind of. I have a hand in a bunch of these different projects that are. That are going on new stuff.

[Phil]

Kind of like an overseer finger in every pie.

[Tim Pool]

We say. Right.

[Phil]

What was that?

[Tim Pool]

A finger in every pie.

[Dylan Houseman]

That is what they say. Yeah, that is what they say.

[Ian Crossland]

Savoring the flavor as you go.

[Phil]

That's weird.

[Tim Pool]

Ruining the pies.

[Ian Crossland]

Oh, yeah.

[Tim Pool]

Oops. I'm kidding.

[Ian Crossland]

Wash your hands

[Phil]

now. How did. So you got hooked up with. You used to be at the. At the Daily Caller, you said.

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah. That's where I started.

[Ian Crossland]

That come from?

[Phil]

That was.

[Carter Banks]

I don't know, but I can't stop thinking.

[Phil]

That was Tucker Carlson's.

[Tim Pool]

It was.

[Dylan Houseman]

He was the co founder. Yes.

[Tim Pool]

It originates from an analogy of an annoying guest who sticks their finger in all of your pies to taste them without asking.

[Dylan Houseman]

That can't be a real thing.

[Tim Pool]

William Shakespeare used a variation on that. That's true in Henry viii, where the Duke of Buckingham complains about arrival, sticking his ambitious finger into every man's pie.

[Phil]

Oh, my gosh.

[Tim Pool]

That sounds like something Ian would do.

[Dylan Houseman]

It sounds like a euphemism for something it does. Something I don't like.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah. And then. And then it just got. It got. Literally translated, it meant something else.

[Ian Crossland]

Stick a finger in the. Oh, are you talking about American Pie? The movie?

[Phil]

I'm not.

[Dylan Houseman]

I don't think so. I don't think we are.

[Phil]

The guy was the one who said it. Said it like.

[Ian Crossland]

I'm not going to finger a pie. I have other plans.

[Phil]

Oh, God. Going downhill.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah. Big dude. So did. What's that? Oh, did Daily Wire open the dc. I've been hearing about the DC office. Is it new?

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Dylan Houseman]

I'm in the DC office. It's like a year old. Ish. There's probably a dozen people working.

[Tim Pool]

But I heard you guys fired everybody and.

[Phil]

Right.

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah. It turns out that's not actually true.

[Phil]

What?

[Dylan Houseman]

As evidenced by me getting hired this year.

[Tim Pool]

What?

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

So you're saying that Ben Shapiro pretended to hire you to trick everybody into thinking he's doing well?

[Dylan Houseman]

Checks are cashing, so I don't know. I don't know if I was pretend hired to Israel.

[Carter Banks]

I don't.

[Dylan Houseman]

I don't.

[Tim Pool]

We have to have a conspiracy theory here. You can't prove it wrong, no matter what you say. We'll always find a reason.

[Phil]

Have you been to Israel?

[Dylan Houseman]

No, I have not. Actually. I have not. Actually. I'd love to visit. If anybody out there wants to give me a free trip to Israel, I'd love to visit.

[Tim Pool]

Mary. Mary Morgan was on a podcast and she was talking about how she's just so sick of all the conspiracy slop. And I'm like, she's completely correct. It's like a little conspiracy here and there is healthy but literally everything, all the time being Conspiracy theory is just so crazy.

[Dylan Houseman]

It used to be cool to have like one conspiracy theory you kind of liked and were into, and then suddenly

[Tim Pool]

it's like Pokemon cards.

[Dylan Houseman]

Everybody. It's just one giant conspiracy that everybody's into.

[Tim Pool]

It's my favorite is that the earth is flat and hollow.

[Ian Crossland]

A donut.

[Tim Pool]

Donut.

[Dylan Houseman]

I don't think I can even comprehend what that means. I don't even know how.

[Tim Pool]

So it's flat and hollow, meaning it's a donut.

[Dylan Houseman]

Wow.

[Tim Pool]

We exist in it in a. Oh, yeah.

[Ian Crossland]

So when you go around it, you're always going around it.

[Dylan Houseman]

That's like the least harmful conspiracy theory for society.

[Tim Pool]

Donut Earth theory.

[Ian Crossland]

I like science fiction. I love, like, new technology, you know,

[Dylan Houseman]

I can see it.

[Ian Crossland]

What was science fiction 150 years ago is science fact today. You know, Jewels.

[Dylan Houseman]

Where are flying cars?

[Ian Crossland]

Where are flying cars, Elon? They may actually be coming, but they can fly.

[Tim Pool]

Did you guys. The problem with them see the Batman show where Joker, someone was I at. Scarecrow pulls Batman's mask off and he's like, Bruce Wayne's like, I. I didn't want to know it was him. That was half the fun. And then he walks up to Bruce and he goes, where's my electric car, Bruce? I put a deposit down last year. You said to be out this year. I loved that. It was good.

[Ashley Webb]

Here, look.

[Tim Pool]

Earth's a donut.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

I can prove it too.

[Dylan Houseman]

Doesn't seem to check out.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah, I can prove it by just asking you questions you can't answer.

[Phil]

There you go.

[Tim Pool]

What is the average temperature of the polar ice cap? So you don't even know. I couldn't tell you because there isn't one. It's a donut. It doesn't exist.

[Phil]

Don't know.

[Ashley Webb]

Donut.

[Dylan Houseman]

It's so exhausting. It really, like neutralizes people's. I think it was Chris Rufa maybe that had this take, or his co host on his podcast that they were like people that get conspiracy brain. They can't participate in actual constructive politics anymore.

[Phil]

Not at all.

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah. So it's. It's like a way to neutralize. If you lead your people to conspiracy all the time, it just neutralizes them from being able to do anything.

[Phil]

One more reason, actually, when the country back. One more reason to end universal enfranchisement.

[Ian Crossland]

I agree.

[Dylan Houseman]

We need less people voting.

[Phil]

Absolutely.

[Ian Crossland]

And then there's like, people that are refused to acknowledge the potential of any conspiracies that are also dangerous for politics. Like, there's a middle ground because people are Conspiring behind closed doors.

[Phil]

Well, I mean, they're.

[Tim Pool]

Ian, no conspiracy has ever happened, ever. That sounds like one.

[Ian Crossland]

Seriously, to me.

[Phil]

The phrase conspiracy, people fire together. Anytime you get a couple people in a room talking about something, they're conspiring, they're coming up with a plan. But the, the colloquial definition of conspiracy theory is that, you know, it's a big secret and only the person that's on X calling you names is like, is in on the, the conspiracy. He's got the secret knowledge. And that's why they're so, so compelling to some people. They believe that they've got the secret knowledge and only them and a few people like them know. And everybody else is a rube and everybody else is stupid and they're the smart ones. That's what's compelling. That's why people are like, see, we know we're in on it. We're smarter than the people that are hiding it from us.

[Dylan Houseman]

I forget about the quote. It was Conspiracies are a way to make people that don't know anything feel like they know everything.

[Phil]

That's basically what it is.

[Tim Pool]

Well, I, I, I, I don't finish.

[Dylan Houseman]

I was just going to say the, the best argument against the conspiracies is like the conversation with the average congressional staffer. Like, I live in D.C. if you had to talk to these people and congressmen and lawmakers and stuff. Like, if you think all these people have some cabal that they're just scheming everything up behind closed doors and they're capable of pulling that off. Like, they're not. They're not.

[Tim Pool]

I mean, just, I mean, if they are, what's your excuse? Like, these guys have an IQ of like 98. What are you doing, Ian? What are you doing?

[Ian Crossland]

I'm just slipping and sliding towards.

[Tim Pool]

Why aren't you in Congress?

[Ian Crossland]

Because I'm on my knees for God, Tim.

[Phil]

Oh, yeah, you are totally playing music.

[Ian Crossland]

Because I want to.

[Phil]

On my knees for God, for office.

[Tim Pool]

The guy that they just play the guitar and sing.

[Phil]

The guy that engages in heresy regularly.

[Ian Crossland]

Really? Oh, yeah. That's what Jesus did, too.

[Phil]

Okay, well, you're not here. You're not Jesus either, so I don't

[Dylan Houseman]

think Jesus can, can do heresy.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah, I don't think that's not what Christians believe.

[Phil]

Yeah, he's, he was the only perfect man.

[Ian Crossland]

Pissed off all the Jews.

[Phil]

It doesn't matter. He didn't.

[Tim Pool]

Because the, the, I think that the argument is that they had deviated from God's teachings.

[Phil]

It was the sante.

[Tim Pool]

So he wasn't the heretic. He was correcting heresy. He had come to.

[Ian Crossland]

He realized that you are all the heretics. It wasn't him. He wasn't the one. But no

[Phil]

regularly engages in heresy.

[Dylan Houseman]

Maybe he's on his knees for God. Okay, yeah, but is it.

[Ian Crossland]

It's only heresy if you mean for it.

[Tim Pool]

That's a South park joke.

[Phil]

No. Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

Carmen was like, I'm on my knees for Jesus. And they're like, yeah.

[Dylan Houseman]

When he had the Christian band. Yeah.

[Phil]

He just took love songs and changed it out for Jesus.

[Tim Pool]

He's like, what? You don't love Jesus?

[Phil]

We do.

[Tim Pool]

But it sounds like you really love him. Of course I really love him. You don't. No, we just mean really love it.

[Ian Crossland]

I think the real like antidote is getting rich. It's not a way. I don't normally think like that because I'm not greedy. Generally I'm pretty charitable. But like I was talking to Phil about, I'm like, I think the real antidote to tyranny is, is wealth, bro.

[Tim Pool]

Every. Every single American, even a homeless person is wealthy to the rest of the world. You can be a mentally ill homeless person sitting on a street corner and you have more access to clean running water, hot showers, charity than an average person in South Sudan.

[Phil]

Amen.

[Tim Pool]

A homeless person, United States, sitting down, saying not a single word makes more money per year than a, than a middle class Sudanese person.

[Ian Crossland]

I think you're tempting people to surge the border when you say stuff like that.

[Tim Pool]

Which is why they do. GDP per capita in Sudan is like $300.

[Dylan Houseman]

Well, if you go back in history, it's even more profound. Like even Americans from a few hundred years ago, Americans today are way richer

[Tim Pool]

than the first ones and they're never happy.

[Phil]

The poorest state in the United States per capita, the people are wealthier than all of Europe. All the, all the countries of Europe per capita. Per capita.

[Ashley Webb]

Really?

[Dylan Houseman]

Europe is low key. Fallen off completely.

[Phil]

Yeah, it's true.

[Dylan Houseman]

It just recently growing and can't.

[Tim Pool]

Oh, we have our. Our average income is three times that of Japan. Yeah, it's crazy. And Japan's nice.

[Phil]

Remember, poor people in the US have cell phones. They have access to the Internet. Poor people in the US are not poor.

[Tim Pool]

But it's not just that. You could have zero dollars and you can walk into a McDonald's and get a glass of clean parasite free water.

[Ian Crossland]

And like having a bunch of money injected into my bank account doesn't make me resistant to tyranny because Wells Fargo can shut off my bank.

[Tim Pool]

It's the opposite actually. The more money you get, the more

[Ian Crossland]

susceptible you are, the more targeted you become.

[Tim Pool]

Or because the machine threatens, take away so much from you if you're broke and they threaten you back. I don't have anything.

[Phil]

That's literally what you know, you can't take anything from. You can't get blood from a stone. If you don't have anything, people can't use the things that you have as leverage.

[Dylan Houseman]

You're nothing to lose.

[Ian Crossland]

Right? Like no kids. I don't have a big.

[Phil]

No money, no house, no nothing. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Tim Pool]

No lights, no music.

[Ian Crossland]

Can't blackmail me.

[Phil]

Well, I mean, yeah, I mean, good, but like you might be easily. It might be easier to bribe someone that doesn't have anything because they're like, oh, you're gonna give me $10,000. That's a lot of money. You know? Whereas if you've got a house and you got a family and you got kids and you've got a reputation, you've got your, in your case, you're, you're, you're a public figure and stuff, you know, if someone's like, hey, we're going to do this. If you don't play ball, it's like, oh, well, I better play ball because I don't want to lose the things that I have because.

[Ian Crossland]

Would you ever run for office?

[Phil]

I would, I would say the N word on Maine before. I would run the run for.

[Dylan Houseman]

I'm too young to foreclose on that, but I don't have any desire right now.

[Tim Pool]

No, I would, I would run for office like Supreme Chancellor of the Earth.

[Ian Crossland]

Maybe I'd run, I'd go run for

[Tim Pool]

president like Trump after, after Trump conquers the planet in a couple of decades, I'll run for Supreme Chancellor and should

[Dylan Houseman]

run per Senate in Maine, I think.

[Tim Pool]

But of course by run I mean it's an election only amongst the 20 or so elite council members, so I

[Ian Crossland]

wouldn't self selected choice of. It's democracy at the highest level and

[Tim Pool]

the rule is you can't serve more than two consecutive terms. That means as long as you have a break between. So they all just keep electing each other.

[Ian Crossland]

I think the Russians did that.

[Dylan Houseman]

That is what they did with his.

[Ian Crossland]

What was that guy? Navaln? No, not Navalny.

[Dylan Houseman]

His. Medvedev.

[Ian Crossland]

Medvedev is number two. He became president.

[Tim Pool]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Erdogan does that too in Turkey.

[Phil]

Oh, did he really? You said you just posted on.

[Dylan Houseman]

No, he's just a poster now. He just like tweets insane things now. He used to be the president with Putin.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Dylan Houseman]

He's now he just tweets about nuking America and stuff all the time.

[Phil]

Every once in a while. Just keep, just keep us on our toes.

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah. Imagine if Obama was like constantly tweeting about nuking other countries. That'd be kind of crazy.

[Tim Pool]

I wish.

[Dylan Houseman]

It's like it was more content to

[Ian Crossland]

talk about if politics. It's like if there's a machine that's, that's breaking down and malfunctioning and spilling oil and it's driving and they're like, hey, you want to get on board and drive with us? I'm like, I think I got to fix the machine. Like, if I get on, if I get in, in the machine, I can't fix it. I got to stay out here to fix it.

[Phil]

You talk, you talk a lot about fixing the machine for someone that, that smokes pot and does DMT.

[Ian Crossland]

This machine is out of control, dude. 40 trillion in debt. What are we going for a currency reset? Like, what is, are people going to. Is our net worth dropping by 99%?

[Tim Pool]

No, it just means they're going to add extra zeros. Trump's going to make a $250 bill and then 250 is the new hundred.

[Phil]

Yep. I mean, look, man, when, when I was a kid, you know, like a Coke was 55 cents.

[Tim Pool]

We had a vending machine that was just outside by the Dominic supermarket. It was a quarter for a can of pop.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, we used to go quarter. I used to always go and push buttons, try and get a free soda out of those are like.

[Tim Pool]

And you would sometimes.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, you would.

[Tim Pool]

Me and you'd go to pay phones and there'd be coins in there. And then me and Andy would go to Aldi and we would offer to return people's carts for them and just stack up quarters.

[Phil]

It used to be actually profitable to collect a lot of bottles and cans in return.

[Tim Pool]

Oh, yeah, yeah. People used to drive to Michigan to get double the return, which is fraud. But they.

[Phil]

Oh, really?

[Tim Pool]

Yeah, because the way it works is when you buy the bottle, you pay it, you pay a deposit, then when you go return it, they give the deposit back. So people would collect bottles in, in Indiana and Illinois and drive to Michigan because the deposit was double.

[Dylan Houseman]

Oh, bro.

[Tim Pool]

Oh. I gotta tell you guys, I, I was watching this podcast and it's completely not news related, but it's the craziest thing I've ever heard. And don't do It. But have you guys ever heard of retail shop, retail theft or shoplifting? Arbitrage.

[Phil]

Yep.

[Dylan Houseman]

Yes, I heard.

[Tim Pool]

This is the craziest thing. I never even consider this. Do not do this. But some guy was interviewing a criminal. He was talking about how they do return fraud, where you go to a grocery store and you'll grab a small item that you don't need a receipt for off a shelf and then go to return it. And if it's like mouthwash for five bucks, they don't ask you for a seat, they just give you the five bucks. And so that's return fraud. People usually get caught doing it. So at first he's like, we used to shoplift, and then we would just try and sell the stuff for like, half the price. And then we realized you just return the stuff, you don't even need it. Then we realized you could do bigger items with receipts. And then he gets into the craziest thing I ever heard of. He said he was. Said that they would go to like a Home Depot and you'd find a receipt in a trash bin for, like a power drill that costs 500 bucks. Then they order online the same SKU, the same power drill, but it's cheaper because the online store sells it for less because they don't have overhead. It then arrives five days later, and you return that drill with the receipt saying that your friend. He would be like, my friend bought this for me, but I'm going to return it. The Home Depot gets the exact same drill back, loses no money but the sale, and then you get the price difference. So if the drills. 300 bucks online on discount, but it's 500 in store, and then you return it, you get a $200 profit. That's the. That's crazy. He got caught. So don't do that stuff. But it's just nuts to think Home Depot is like, we don't. We don't recognize a loss. We just got the drill back. We'll sell it again tomorrow. The dude who bought the drill still has it. All you did was take the profit from the sale, and they kept the product. You stole the sale. Sale. So it's intangible. That's.

[Phil]

Hustlers are hustling.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah, that's crazy.

[Phil]

You know, but the. The. That makes me think of the old. That meme or whatever, where someone's like, man, you're sitting around doing nothing, and crackheads are sitting around, like, got no money. And you think, the crackhead's not going to go out and get that Crack. Get up and get moving.

[Tim Pool]

It was a viral video on Tik Tok where the guy's like, you're sitting there saying, I can't do it. And right now there's a crackhead out there and he's gonna get it done. Do you think that crackhead is not gonna find that money and get that crack? And it's funny because it's true.

[Phil]

Absolutely.

[Tim Pool]

The motivation of the crackhead is better. Like, that's gotta be embarrassing. I mean, you're sitting around like, I can't do 10 push ups right now, bro. That crackhead would sell his own mother for crack.

[Phil]

Literally.

[Tim Pool]

You can do 10 push ups.

[Dylan Houseman]

You just don't want it bad enough. You just.

[Ian Crossland]

What do you think is like the driving, motivating factor for most healthy men to get up and go?

[Phil]

A lot of times it's, it's. Well, I think that it's the, it's the ability to achieve something. I think the thing that, that young men are, are having a problem with today is they don't feel like their effort is going to produce anything. Right. Like, the crackhead knows that if he goes and comes up with five bucks, he's getting that crack. Right? Or ten bucks or whatever. But like, young people are like, why am I going to go to work and make a little bit of money when I can sit around here and play video games, you know, and get, you know, get some kind of.

[Tim Pool]

I'll tell you why. Because without children, everything collapses.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

Because it used to be. And it's not even so much that it used to be, but I know people like this. They're like, I have no choice but to work. I have kids. That's it. End of story. So now you got a bunch of dudes who are in their mid-30s with no kids, and they're like, well, I don't have to do anything. They're like, I don't have to make as much money, but I make enough to where I can afford, rent and play video games, so why bother? If they had kids, they'd be like, I gotta work a double shift. I gotta feed my kids.

[Phil]

Yeah. Birth control is probably the actual Antichrist thing that destroys societies.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah.

[Phil]

When you, when you have birth control and you can, and women can control whether or not they have kids, eventually falls apart. I mean, very tried take. I mean, look, I'm, I'm, I'm not 100 sure that I'm, that I'm for banning birth control, but the idea of putting everybody on birth control for whatever reason, like Every young girl goes into. To see their. Their OBGYN for the first time when they're in their teen. Teen years, when the first thing they do is say, well, we got to get you on birth control. You know, very rarely do they not try to get you on birth control because the OB GYNs are incentivized. They get a. They get a kickback or they get. They get paid by the pharmaceutical companies. So they had all these, all the young girls on birth control. Society kind of makes women think that they should be men and try to do the things that men do and want to be men. Go to get a job, go, you know, go to college, get a job. Used to be where, like, you weren't stopping people from having sex. Like, that just wasn't happening. You look back 100 years, people were having a bunch of sex and having a bunch of kids because of it. Now you have birth control. Get on birth. Get a large percentage of your population on birth control, and there's no more kids. And like Tim's point, without kids, men don't have that kind of need to, to, you know, settle, essentially settle down. Like women and kids, tame young men, right? You got women and kids. If a guy's got a girlfriend, he gets pregnant, he's got to take care of the girl and he's got to take care of the kid. I got to get a job. I got to get my. My crap together. I got to provide for them. And that's a very. It's a. It's a moderating factor in young men's lives. Without that, dudes are just like, I don't have to do anything. Girls are, you know, girls are throwing their butt around as it is. You know, I don't need to get married or whatever to have kids, or I don't have to have kids. I don't need to get married. I'll go and hang with the boys and sometimes I'll get laid or if I don't get laid and I'm. I can't, you know, talk to women. I got porn. There's all these things to distract you from, from having families. And families really do, you know, make you say, okay, I need to square my. My stuff. Stuff away and focus on these people and make you. It makes you selfless as well. Makes you stop thinking about yourself first.

[Dylan Houseman]

It's almost like we evolved to have this very specific kind of ecosystem of how we reproduce, and that motivates everybody in the unit to do what they're supposed to do. And then if you throw this chemical intervention into it willy nilly, that it disrupts the entire system. And now we have a population collapse. Yeah.

[Phil]

And I think it's. I mean, I don't know. I don't know if it's the same in. In, you know, like in other countries, but I assume that, you know, in India, who's just barely at replacement levels, I assume there's a lot of birth control there as well. I don't know culturally what it's like, but I assume. And it's definitely one of the problems across the West. Right. Like, if you can control whether or not you get pregnant, then you don't have as many accidental oopsie, people getting pregnant. And then people decide that they're. They're gonna, you know, live their lives and do their own thing, as opposed to, oh, she's pregnant. I have to take care of her. There was a social aspect to it too, as well, because it used to be where, you know, if a guy got a girl pregnant, it's called the shotgun wedding. You have to go and marry the girl, and now you have to take care of her.

[Ashley Webb]

You.

[Phil]

You did that. So now this is your responsibility. That's not the thing anymore. You know, that just went away. And because it went away, you've got all these downstream effects, dude.

[Ian Crossland]

This is the first time I thought direct relationship between birth control and population decline.

[Tim Pool]

Really, it's.

[Ian Crossland]

The purpose of it is to have less kids, that is. And then my question is, how many children do you think 100 years ago?

[Ashley Webb]

Just.

[Ian Crossland]

Just a general question. I don't have any. It were intentionally created versus how many of them, percentage wise, were oops.

[Tim Pool]

All of them were intentionally created.

[Ian Crossland]

Well, sometimes you're like, I just wanted to bang.

[Tim Pool]

And then. No, no, no, no, no. Like, people had big families and intentionally had big families and had more babies and they'd have seven to 12 kids.

[Ian Crossland]

But then some of it was rape. Like a lot of. According to Brett Weinstein. He's like, oh, so much of our ancient propagation was rabbit.

[Tim Pool]

But that's. That, that's. That's taken out of context.

[Dylan Houseman]

It's.

[Tim Pool]

It's like relative to now. Back then there was lots of rape, but still 99% of child rearing was coupling.

[Ian Crossland]

Let's do another one.

[Tim Pool]

I don't know gun weddings, bro.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, but those sound like oopsies if you're like, oh, didn't. Didn't intend to. Now I got to get married. That sounds like a noob. But like, so less oopsies today. But also Less intentional because like, the birth control is getting in the water supplies.

[Dylan Houseman]

I don't think it's even. Oopsies. I think it's like, you know, the reason humans have a sexual urge is to reproduce. And for millennia that's all we needed. And there could be all these rational reasons not to have kids potentially, but it's overridden by this biological urge you have. And once you introduce this chemical that takes away any of the consequence, that's it.

[Tim Pool]

That's why I don't think it's. Liberals largely don't have this.

[Dylan Houseman]

Explain.

[Tim Pool]

They don't have kids. Can. The only reason the birth rate is like 1.3 right now is because conservatives are like 1.8 and liberals are like 0.7. Liberals don't have, like, they're the ones saying just even if you get pregnant, abort the baby.

[Dylan Houseman]

Conservatives aren't saying, yeah, abortion's another one.

[Carter Banks]

Yeah.

[Dylan Houseman]

So what liberals do, they do have sex, they just don't have the babies. So that's where the chemical intervention comes in. You're cutting the tube.

[Tim Pool]

I'm saying they don't have that drive, that passion.

[Phil]

They don't have that like, drive to have families.

[Tim Pool]

No, it's just. Just passion for life in general.

[Phil]

Oh, really? Okay.

[Ian Crossland]

Like sex is. The passion for sex is like boring. Like, how do I say this, Phil, to you Directly? That's why I was making eye contact.

[Dylan Houseman]

I can't wait and deliver this next one.

[Phil]

Do it.

[Ian Crossland]

But like, I've been dealing with it a lot. I'm single right now. I'm 47. I sound like Tucker Carlson.

[Carter Banks]

I'm single.

[Ian Crossland]

Not that he's single, but I talk like that, like chasing sex just for sex is just like all it is is moving around. And then like, it feels kind of phenomenal at points. But like, that's all. That's all.

[Tim Pool]

It's cuz you're old, bro.

[Ian Crossland]

No, it's always been like that. Like it was never. There's. It's a. It's a means to an end. It's not the end itself, like, chasing it.

[Tim Pool]

It's not like when you're younger, you have the hormones raging through your body and you're like, man, I want to hook up. You know? And then you're supposed to get married. And then you and your wife go to like rabbits and have a bunch of babies. And then when you get older, you're more chill and you're like, h. You know, look, I'm old, you know?

[Ashley Webb]

Yeah.

[Dylan Houseman]

But my wife used to have kids. When they were young. Yeah, it's great. I mean, what's the average age for having, having kids now?

[Tim Pool]

It's like in 30, 38 or something.

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah, yeah, it used to be like 20.

[Tim Pool]

We're in trouble. The argument though is it's eugenics. It's that the older you are when you have a kid, the more like, like the higher probabilities of ailments for the child. But what, what ends up happening is the children that are born to older parents being, but who don't have ailments will then reproduce and they'll eliminate those. That, that genetic function from the, from the gene pool.

[Ian Crossland]

They'll eliminate the errors.

[Phil]

There's also some studies that.

[Tim Pool]

So the idea is if you have, let's say you have a hundred people and they all have kids at 40 years old and let's say 60% of those kids have deformities or some kind of health defect and they don't live very long, they die. The 40% that survive did not experience defects from having kids at a later age, will live longer and have kids at a later age. So you are creating a lineage of people who will live longer and suffer less ailments from child rearing in later ages.

[Dylan Houseman]

I heard someone say recently that because of the collapsing birth rate that people who are genetically predisposed in a way to have that drive to actually have kids and have families, there will be like a flatlining and recovery eventually. Because the people having kids have something in them that makes them want to have kids.

[Tim Pool]

Oh, right.

[Dylan Houseman]

That gets passed down to their kids.

[Tim Pool]

Well, so basically the people that don't

[Dylan Houseman]

want to reproduce knock themselves out of the gene pool.

[Tim Pool]

Yep.

[Dylan Houseman]

So eventually there's a recovery. Maybe.

[Tim Pool]

So the United States will just be a Muslim country.

[Dylan Houseman]

And the Catholics. The Muslims and the Catholics.

[Tim Pool]

Actually, actually that'll work. Well, it's going to be Mennonite.

[Ian Crossland]

That's actually Mennonites because.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah, the Mennonites have more kids than any other group still.

[Carter Banks]

Yeah.

[Dylan Houseman]

Who will win the three way war between the Mennonites, the Catholics and the Muslims?

[Tim Pool]

Oh, it's exponential.

[Dylan Houseman]

The hottest.

[Tim Pool]

It's a parabolic curve.

[Phil]

You see, wherever has the most kids.

[Tim Pool]

Five factorial versus, you know, two.

[Ian Crossland]

I'm just reading about the, the Mennonites, Anabaptist Christians. I know nothing about these guys.

[Tim Pool]

They're Amish down the road, bro. They sell us beef.

[Dylan Houseman]

Are they the same as Amish?

[Phil]

I think so, yeah.

[Dylan Houseman]

There's another one that's similar though that.

[Tim Pool]

And people think Amish means they don't use technology or whatever, but, bro, they're sitting in there watching TV with refrigerators, and they use a register. It's like, I think they just have. They always wear bonnets.

[Dylan Houseman]

Sounds nice.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah, There's a lot that don't, but out here, there's a ton of them. And they sell beef. You go to the little booth, they pull up in a pickup truck, get out, and they sell you beef. That's great.

[Ian Crossland]

Oh, they're not. They're not Amish. They're not Amish. They share common Anabaptist roots from the 16th century Protestant Reformation. But the two groups split in 1693 when Jacob Amman's followers separated from the Mennonites, became the Amish.

[Carter Banks]

I think some speak, like, old German language.

[Tim Pool]

Darcy is good.

[Carter Banks]

Yeah.

[Ian Crossland]

Is it. Is it Dutch?

[Dylan Houseman]

Do they speak.

[Carter Banks]

I'm not quite sure. There's like.

[Dylan Houseman]

Some of them speak Dutch, I think.

[Carter Banks]

Yeah.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Ian Crossland]

Did you guys see the. The Amish guy that went on Theo Vaughn's podcast?

[Carter Banks]

Yeah, I watched.

[Phil]

Young guy.

[Carter Banks]

Yeah, I was really.

[Ian Crossland]

He was. He was making some rounds. Yeah, he was on Ram Springer. Yeah, that's pretty.

[Tim Pool]

Oh, yeah. It's where they go out and just

[Dylan Houseman]

check out the world side if they want to.

[Tim Pool]

And then they're just like, this is terrible. I want to go home.

[Ian Crossland]

Just be with my horse.

[Dylan Houseman]

It says a lot that people who live like it was 200 years ago get exposed to modernity, and they said, now we're good.

[Tim Pool]

I agree with them, though. Yeah.

[Ian Crossland]

God, it's the radiation. The upside is, like, the good foods you can get access to, but the downside is the radiation.

[Dylan Houseman]

Get.

[Tim Pool]

Get some money, buy some land, get a mini cow and some goats and some chickens, and then sit there all day just watching them. Life is good.

[Ian Crossland]

I rode by some cows earlier today.

[Tim Pool]

Eat eggs.

[Ian Crossland]

I thought cowishness, chickens.

[Tim Pool]

The best part about chickens, they make more of themselves. You know, you can just like, just watch them.

[Dylan Houseman]

And then birth control for the chickens,

[Tim Pool]

they just make more and then the. Too many sometimes. And you got to eat the boys. Not as good, but food's food, you know, I can't complain.

[Dylan Houseman]

Don't they fight each other sometimes?

[Tim Pool]

Nope. It's a misconception that roosters, if you put them together, they fight. Oh, we had 12 roosters in one pen together. So there's a couple things. If there's. If there's not enough women, they'll fight. But usually what happens is the roosters will separate from each other with different amounts of females. And then if you. You can have you can have. We had 12 roosters together. As long as no girls around. So they, they don't just fight each other, they sep. They'll stay away from each other.

[Dylan Houseman]

Sound like humans.

[Ian Crossland]

That was like me at Guitar center earlier today too.

[Carter Banks]

Did you get that tiny bass? Yeah. Nice.

[Ian Crossland]

It's awesome.

[Tim Pool]

Tiny bass?

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Ian Crossland]

Shout out to the beautiful woman working at the counter. I don't normally talk about people when they're not around, but I felt like a rooster.

[Tim Pool]

You don't talk about people when they're not around.

[Ian Crossland]

That's my job.

[Tim Pool]

Do that ever. I was like, you do that all night. Which is literally talking about people.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, Yeah. I felt like a rooster ready to fight. I'm like, I got to just relax. Otherwise I can see the cocks rearing up. I got to calm, calm down. Get out here. My bass guitar. Oh, Guitar Center. I was just like, I felt the rooster's energy because there's a woman.

[Tim Pool]

Was like a bunch of guys staring at a hot chick or something.

[Ian Crossland]

It was like a woman in the room. And like normally guys are just dudes, but when the woman comes in sometimes it's like heightened energy.

[Carter Banks]

Yeah, I know, it's interesting.

[Tim Pool]

I got to be honest. I'm old and I'm married and I just don't. I'm so, I'm so, so beyond whatever that, you know, is like urge to be the younger man's game, you know.

[Carter Banks]

My wife, 47, she goes to the gym. Like, I don't know, I guess people look at her. Whereas like my experience is different. Like not a bunch of people are looking at me all the time at the gym. But like she says she gets these weird dudes doing like pull ups. Like looking in her direction was, jeez, a weird stuff.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah, that my attitude changed a while ago. It's more so now. Like it used to be like when I was younger it's like walking around looking at, checking out chicks and just like, oh man. You know? But now it's more like. Now it's more like the rooster looking around, checking to see if there's bears anywhere and ready to fight.

[Ian Crossland]

I got a weird thing going on. I wonder if anyone can identify because I'm. I think I'm past the point where I'm supposed to have had kids. So I've got like that instinct of taking care of my surroundings. But I'm still like hyper aggressive to find a woman. So it's like really distracting. It's messy.

[Dylan Houseman]

They call that your single uncle. Your divorced uncle is what they call Uncle Ian, gross.

[Ian Crossland]

Like, I gotta. I gotta write. Do something fast and right. But I don't want to like jump into some stupid.

[Tim Pool]

Well, you're a guy. You don't got a biological clock. Yeah, I was gonna find some woman.

[Dylan Houseman]

You know, with modern medicine, you just

[Tim Pool]

need to find a long haired freaky chick, you know?

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, that's what it's all about.

[Tim Pool]

Who can be with you. A long haired.

[Phil]

Don't tell them that you can control the weather.

[Tim Pool]

No, no, no, no, no. That's bad advice.

[Ian Crossland]

Everyone knows.

[Tim Pool]

Imagine if Ian doubled it on my. No, no, no, Phil. Imagine what would happen if they're together for like a year and then she comes to find out he can. He can control the weather. Never told her she would be like, ian, you withheld this from me. Think of all the good you can do by making it rain.

[Ian Crossland]

Cuz I need her to support me to control the weather. Stronger and harder, faster. Like just focus your energy into me. Ladies.

[Tim Pool]

Control the weather. Innuendo for something.

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

Have I missed this?

[Phil]

Not yet. Maybe. Maybe that.

[Tim Pool]

Would you kids call it?

[Phil]

These day kids aren't. Aren't.

[Tim Pool]

You want to come over and control the weather?

[Phil]

Maybe Kids aren't. Aren't the thing.

[Carter Banks]

The weather and chill.

[Ian Crossland]

Right? Dude, I just got to be thinking of my next hit song. I mean, well, put some money on the table.

[Phil]

I mean the, the, the. The fact that, that you're. You're talking about, you know, your age. Remember? I'm. I had my first kid at 50.

[Ian Crossland]

You know, you're a big inspiration for me right now because I'm like, thank God Phil pulled it together and made it happen. Like you did it like instantly. You were like, you know what? I've decided I want to do this now.

[Phil]

Well, no, no, no, no. I was married and, and she couldn't have kids. Like we wanted to have kids and, and she couldn't. So like, it's not like it was like, oh, it was a surprise or anything. Like I just decided that I wanted to have kids. I thought I was going to have kids when I was in my 20s. I was like, yeah, I'll. I'll eventually, you know, meet a girl and stuff.

[Tim Pool]

And you know, you know, Phil, I would say for us because we recently had kids, but most fathers know this. It's pretty amazing when you become, become a dad because you realize you are capable of so much. Like clawing a man to death who threatens your family or literally ripping a man's arms off and beating him to death with it if he threatens Your family like you, you would agree, right?

[Phil]

Yeah, well, you know, I.

[Tim Pool]

It's like once I looked at my baby, I was like, I could pull a man's arm, clean up and beat him to death with it.

[Phil]

I mean, I carry a gun, so I think. I think a little differently, but. But yeah. Yes, yeah, it would be the same kind of result. But I actually forgot my handgun or I forgot my normal carry gun today. And I was like, oh man, I gotta turn around. I was like, oh, no word about dogs now. Like, I got one in the car.

[Ian Crossland]

Wild dogs.

[Tim Pool]

There's any dog.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, dogs. Keep your dogs on your leash.

[Tim Pool]

Normally it's like, you know, 10 years ago if I see a dog, I'm like, I could take them. Now it's like, keep that dog away from my daughter. Yeah, I don't trust your dog, man. What other your dog on a leash.

[Ian Crossland]

Are you concerned of eagles at all?

[Tim Pool]

No.

[Ian Crossland]

Swoop down.

[Tim Pool]

I was walking. I was in Martinsburg and some dude was walking out with a pit bull off his leash. Oh, running up to jail.

[Ian Crossland]

Sorry, I'm. I'm pretty libertarian. But get that wild, dangerous weapon on a leash.

[Tim Pool]

Well, I have a gun, so it's

[Dylan Houseman]

always the Pitbull owners, they let their dog off.

[Tim Pool]

He was just running around and. And ramp stiff in my leg and I'm like, I didn't move, I didn't do anything. And then it just ran off. Like, I'm not going to immediately assume the pitbull's going to go nuts, but if it does, you should keep your dog on leash.

[Phil]

Keep your dog on a leash. Like, just generally, like, that's. That's just normal person behavior. Like, you shouldn't be letting a dog. Like Sarah and I got this little. She's her dog's little, right? And like it's on a leash all the time. You don't want. Because it's safer for the dog too, right? Dogs are stupid. They're gonna also, if you can't like

[Carter Banks]

contain a pit bull, you shouldn't be able to take it on a walk in public. So you should have to be of a reasonable size. I feel like.

[Ian Crossland]

I think so.

[Tim Pool]

Bro, we got to talk about this. Did you guys see the robot fighting?

[Carter Banks]

Yeah.

[Phil]

Yes.

[Ashley Webb]

Dude.

[Tim Pool]

Dude, look at this.

[Phil]

Oh, damn.

[Tim Pool]

This is the greatest thing I've ever seen.

[Phil]

Get up, man.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, the recovery is. Dude, this is better than doom.

[Dylan Houseman]

Dude.

[Tim Pool]

He blows the guy's head off.

[Dylan Houseman]

This kind of competition upgrades everything. Sensors, motion control, AI, decision making, neural networks, joint performance. Laying the groundwork for Home robots in the future.

[Phil]

Well, we're not going to war with China. Yeah, we are. We're going to go

[Ian Crossland]

robots doing housework,

[Tim Pool]

knocking its head off. That's five to ten years away.

[Ian Crossland]

But right now, we use large model

[Tim Pool]

tech to make robots understand and interact with people better. No, I want to see the fight, bro. I want to see the fight. Show me the. Show me the head.

[Ian Crossland]

The head kick.

[Phil]

But to that guy's point, like, the. All of the systems get better. See the spin at the waist,

[Tim Pool]

dude, where's.

[Ian Crossland]

Where's the head?

[Dylan Houseman]

Stop.

[Ian Crossland]

Finish him. Oh, he was just doing it.

[Tim Pool]

There's got to be more.

[Carter Banks]

This is just like that movie with Haley.

[Tim Pool]

Human.

[Dylan Houseman]

Look at this.

[Tim Pool]

Where's the long form video? Is this it? Oh, we got it. We got it.

[Phil]

Let's go.

[Ian Crossland]

Robot is unfazed when it loses. Get this going. Blow their arms off. They keep coming.

[Tim Pool]

I have no idea what they're on about.

[Ian Crossland]

Blow their heads off. You got to find the CPU if you want to disable these things.

[Tim Pool]

Oh, he's taunting him. He's taunting him. I want to see a point,

[Ian Crossland]

dude. This is Tekken, dude.

[Dylan Houseman]

I love it.

[Ian Crossland]

Real life Tekken.

[Carter Banks]

Yeah.

[Phil]

They were fighting the big robots, but this is all. This is actually AI They. The robots are doing this themselves. There's not a person control.

[Carter Banks]

Oh, really?

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah.

[Phil]

That's why they're dancing around and, like, not looking at each other.

[Tim Pool]

That was amazing. That kick was nervous, I imagine. Can you imagine fighting one of these things?

[Phil]

Awesome.

[Ian Crossland]

Would it kill you in one hit?

[Phil]

No, they don't hit it that hard.

[Ian Crossland]

Through your chest.

[Tim Pool]

That's. That's incredible.

[Ian Crossland]

Like, pneumatic fish.

[Tim Pool]

This robot could mess you up.

[Ian Crossland]

White or black?

[Tim Pool]

Pretty sure black loses. His head gets ripped off. I like how, like, they go down with the lightest of hits. Oh, he's down, bro. Let's go to round three or whatever. Look at his head's coming off, wobbling. Look at his head.

[Phil]

I want to see the hit that made his head knocked his head off.

[Ian Crossland]

He's doing more damage to himself.

[Dylan Houseman]

Confused Pokemon.

[Ashley Webb]

Yeah.

[Dylan Houseman]

Don't use the head.

[Tim Pool]

Can it still see? I imagine its eyes are on its chest or something.

[Phil]

Yeah, I mean,

[Tim Pool]

It's weird how they score points when the other one just falls down of its own volition.

[Phil]

Black, we've got 22 points.

[Ian Crossland]

The other one's that.

[Phil]

Oh,

[Tim Pool]

pretty sure when your head falls off, you lose. Oh, I want to see one of those kicks landed. Bouncing around.

[Ian Crossland]

Applications are wonderful for, like, VR to control an avatar robot to fight In a ring.

[Phil]

They're not going for VR. They're going. They're not going for VR. This is going for AI.

[Ian Crossland]

I think when the head came off,

[Tim Pool]

I mean, the fight was very pathetic. Dude just lost because he knocked his own head off.

[Ian Crossland]

I still don't know what caused severance. Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

Here you can see his head's bobbling a little bit. I want to see the moment when his head gets like, it's hit.

[Dylan Houseman]

Why do they keep dancing in a little foot?

[Phil]

Look at this.

[Tim Pool]

That's crazy, bro. I'm excited to run full speed from this thing. In a dystopian city, people showed up

[Dylan Houseman]

to an arena to watch. Something feels eerie about this.

[Tim Pool]

I know.

[Ian Crossland]

It's like it's the early days where we're laughing and then like.

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah, I don't like this.

[Tim Pool]

I think he knocks his own head off.

[Dylan Houseman]

I feel like one of these is gonna kill someone.

[Phil]

Yeah, like, eventually.

[Dylan Houseman]

Oh, yeah, probably.

[Ian Crossland]

Pretty soon they'll probably start with squads having one in the squad with them.

[Tim Pool]

Look at these.

[Phil]

What are these?

[Ian Crossland]

What are these women?

[Tim Pool]

These, like, weird Western anime women.

[Ian Crossland]

It might evolve to, like, a squad where it's like one human and the rest of them are robots.

[Tim Pool]

Like, for all we know, he could be just spewing racial slurs like crazy right now. But we don't speak Mandarin, so we don't know.

[Phil]

There's already been engagements. I told you the other night, there's already been engagements in Ukraine. Full on robots doing the engagement. They weren't like humanoid robots like this. They were motorized. They had treads. Basically just a moving gun.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he doesn't actually get. I think his head is just loose and then falls off. I don't think he actually gets kicked.

[Dylan Houseman]

He took a dive.

[Ashley Webb]

Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

Oh, okay.

[Ashley Webb]

There.

[Tim Pool]

That. That was it. Oh, that was it.

[Ian Crossland]

The back of the dome.

[Dylan Houseman]

In half the time, they deliver from like.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah, now his head's flopping around.

[Dylan Houseman]

They don't even.

[Tim Pool]

He got his head. He got his. He got. He knocked his block off. Yeah, yeah, man.

[Ian Crossland]

Cerebellum.

[Tim Pool]

He knocked his block off.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Ian Crossland]

Ukraine confirmed first lethal use of fully autonomous drones.

[Tim Pool]

Can we just put the machine guns on the robot dogs and unleash them already?

[Phil]

That's what we're talking about there.

[Tim Pool]

Oh, is that what they did?

[Phil]

Well, they're not dogs. It was a trick. I'm saying was a tracked robot.

[Tim Pool]

A robot.

[Phil]

Tracked robot. So it's got tracks like a tank.

[Tim Pool]

Oh, okay.

[Phil]

Yeah, well, yeah, but it was fully automated and it was.

[Tim Pool]

I'm saying, just get a bunch of those dogs to run full speed and ch. Could you imagine being on a battlefield just like 50 of them running at you?

[Phil]

Like, what do you even do? You got a machine gun.

[Ian Crossland]

The first.

[Tim Pool]

That's not going to do it.

[Phil]

Bel fed.

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

You got belt. Belt fed. You got to get. But accuracy is going to be paramount if you got 50 running at you.

[Carter Banks]

Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

You have to be accurate.

[Phil]

Yeah. Accuracy by volume.

[Tim Pool]

Shoot them by volume.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Ian Crossland]

They said that the Ukrainian forces carried out the world's first known robotic amphibious assault on the Kinbins.

[Dylan Houseman]

Amphibious. From water. Yeah.

[Phil]

So it's finally.

[Tim Pool]

It's the waiting. I can't stand boats. Crazy.

[Ian Crossland]

The Marsupial drone tactic.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah. There's no underwater drones that are meaningful because they have to be wired. You can't transmit remote controls underwater.

[Phil]

Yeah. That's why they're working on autonomous AI stuff.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah, exactly. It would have to be. It'd have to be autonomous. So you have to pre program and then drop it in the water.

[Ian Crossland]

Naval drone. To deploy an armed ground robot behind enemy lines. Yep. I guess that's the Marsupial.

[Tim Pool]

It's going to be funny when the future of war is like, there's not even humans involved at all.

[Phil]

I just.

[Tim Pool]

And it's like, you check your phone, you're like, did we win or no? And the other country's like, we don't know what's going on. Just betting on culture robots blowing each other up.

[Dylan Houseman]

Just delay inevitable, though. They have to kill the people eventually. Like, you can't just win a war by killing other people's robots.

[Ian Crossland]

And you got to be careful because you don't want to kill all the people on accident. I mean, maybe the robots will want to, but I don't even know if they have wants because, like, they could easily just destroy the weather and then all the humans would die. Like, block out the sun. We'd all die.

[Dylan Houseman]

It all comes back to the weather.

[Ian Crossland]

Or a bunch of people would die.

[Dylan Houseman]

It's very important.

[Ian Crossland]

You can't really poison all of Earth. It's hard to do that. You just have to block out the sun. I think that's the ultimate.

[Tim Pool]

You know. You know, it'd be really funny if just like, at some point, dudes in black suits shop and take Ian because he can control the weather.

[Dylan Houseman]

He knows too much.

[Tim Pool]

And the government is like, we can use this.

[Phil]

I think it's more likely that it's dude in white suits with a white jacket.

[Ian Crossland]

No, we need.

[Phil]

Trust me, Phil, give yourself the last hug. Ian, you're going to.

[Tim Pool]

You're going to look so dumb, Phil, when the men in black show up to take Ian away to use his

[Carter Banks]

powers for the same reason scientists will be next.

[Tim Pool]

Trump's like, ian, we need your powers. We're going to flood China, shut him down.

[Ian Crossland]

The galactic core. Dude, you know that this whole solar storm, it's correlating with human stress.

[Phil]

It's all related. No, it's not. Yeah, I don't.

[Ian Crossland]

And so when you can calm yourself to calm the spirit within the beast we know as the sun, you're going to be fine.

[Phil]

Yeah, that's. He's just.

[Dylan Houseman]

I guess I'm not worried about it.

[Phil]

I think he's just leaning into it now.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, that was planet.

[Dylan Houseman]

Well, it's hard to tell.

[Phil]

It is, it is.

[Ian Crossland]

Hey, if just as part of this, the goodness of it all turned out to be you can, you know, defend against the robot attacks when they try and block out the sun, you're like, no, we're going to move the clouds.

[Phil]

I love how you just.

[Tim Pool]

I want, I want to see a human fight one of these. These things.

[Carter Banks]

Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

I mean, they'd mess it up, no question.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, a human would.

[Phil]

For now.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for now.

[Phil]

I wonder, I do wonder how like a human to do against like Atlas, though. Like the Atlas robot that Boston Dynamics makes.

[Tim Pool]

That's big.

[Phil]

The new models aren't super big.

[Tim Pool]

Oh, right, right, right, right.

[Dylan Houseman]

But what's. What, what is the material of these robots? Because even if you have the best time fighter, like if you kick that thing is.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, right.

[Dylan Houseman]

Break your shin. Like how does that.

[Tim Pool]

No, right. So you got probably have to do like straight, like. I, I don't know the name of the kick, but you don't want, you'd want to kick straight with the bottom of your foot. You.

[Ian Crossland]

You want.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah.

[Ian Crossland]

You should be allowed to have like

[Carter Banks]

the same, like clothing made out of what they're made out of or armor even.

[Phil]

Yeah, that'd be like armor then.

[Ian Crossland]

Mithal armor or something.

[Phil]

Mithral.

[Ian Crossland]

Something lightweight that will defend against piercing damage.

[Phil]

What they're wearing, it looks to me like that's all plastic. And considering the way that they're moving, how fast they're moving, it's. They're probably not particularly heavy.

[Tim Pool]

Look, if they're wearing gloves, small gloves, and you're gonna be able to strike

[Phil]

the thing just fine.

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

Do you think you're one one hit? Its head flies off, it's over.

[Dylan Houseman]

I can't wait for the spin off. Bare knuckle. Robot boxing league.

[Phil]

It's gonna be great.

[Tim Pool]

Human versus robot, man versus machine. Hey, we're gonna read your rant and rumble. Rants and super chat. So smash the like button. Share the show with everyone in your life. Tell your grandma say, watch Tim cast IRL grandma. You'll love it. It's good for the whole family. And let's see what you guys got. J J Dirt biker says it's Canada's fault for straight up neglecting their force. There's a big difference between fire suppression and fire management. If they did some management, they wouldn't have to do suppression. Yeah, but nobody lives there. That's the problem. It's a whole bunch of empty land. What Trump should say is, if you can't manage it, we'll take it. We'll take it. You'll be a state. Our sergeant says, lol. Lindsey Graham turning down female hookers at the bar. Like my whiskey cost more than you do, sweetheart. Toodaloo.

[Phil]

I wonder if that's true.

[Tim Pool]

Sergeant says, crazy theory. But do you think that there have been an f. There's been an effort by somebody out there to instigate mental retardation in the American populace. I mean, chemicals and food. Vaccines are using media. I do.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah. Even we're talking about all these conspiracy theories as we were talking about. I'm thinking of like, foreign operations inciting people to think that they're onto something.

[Dylan Houseman]

That's what the Trump speech was. Not that he said China was doing that.

[Tim Pool]

So sergeant says, you know, the population was kept in check back in the day. Trespassers got killed on site. Nobody asked a question. It's true. If they eventually came to your property and they're like, why. Why'd you kill this guy? Be like, he's trespassing. They'd be like, okay, that's it.

[Dylan Houseman]

Nothing to see here.

[Tim Pool]

I mean, even in many states, nothing. You could. You're. You're on your. Your 100 acres and you shoot and kill a guy and call the police and say, he threatened me. They'll go, okay, because there's no. There's no crime, there's no story, there's no evidence. Just, there you go.

[Phil]

They'll do an investigation. They're basically. Basically just look around the woods and be like, okay, all right, I guess.

[Tim Pool]

Phoenix says, before I met my wife and had kids, my motivation to go to work was buying parts for my Ford effing Ranger.

[Ian Crossland]

That's pretty cool.

[Dylan Houseman]

Whatever it takes.

[Tim Pool]

Whatever tickles your pickle.

[Ian Crossland]

And go,

[Tim Pool]

I was at a diner and the waitress asked me what I wanted to drink, and being clever, I said, whatever floats your boat. She came back with an empty glass, but had a piece of paper on it on the inside. And when I took it out, it was Archimedes law of water displacement.

[Ian Crossland]

She got you.

[Tim Pool]

She got me.

[Dylan Houseman]

Boom. Dude, that's a joke.

[Ian Crossland]

It's your ass, dude. Awesome.

[Tim Pool]

Whatever floats your boat. JR3 says, in keeping with the traditions of Tim Cast IRL, we are happy to announce the birth of our second child, Allison Darcy.

[Phil]

Congratulations.

[Tim Pool]

Mom and baby are healthy and resting. Cheers to the crew and thank you for keeping the fire of truth ablaze. Yes. Psalm 12:60. Three. More babies. Wyatt Kaltenberg says Mitch McConnell isn't dead. He just smells funny.

[Phil]

What?

[Carter Banks]

Confirmed.

[Phil]

Confirmed.

[Ian Crossland]

That guy was like.

[Dylan Houseman]

I heard it on tip. Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

Three star says. Anyone else notice that Tim, Phil, and Ian all share the letter I in their name? My God, that proves it. Proves that we all have the letter I in our names.

[Ian Crossland]

Why? It happens.

[Dylan Houseman]

What's going on with that?

[Phil]

Well, it's iPhone.

[Tim Pool]

What do you got? You got a Y in your name, huh?

[Phil]

It's I for Israel, Tim.

[Dylan Houseman]

That's why I'm at. That's where I'm.

[Tim Pool]

Of course, Carter is actually spelled C A, R, T, I R. Not a

[Carter Banks]

lot of people know that.

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah, yeah,

[Carter Banks]

I've gotten that before.

[Tim Pool]

My middle name is Daniel. As an eye in that as well.

[Ian Crossland]

My middle name's Arthur Art. But I also. My. My initials are almost Ian I A, N, but it's iac, unfortunately.

[Phil]

That would be cool. Just missed.

[Dylan Houseman]

I don't know, I had my middle name Benjamin, like the big yahoo.

[Phil]

Benjamin. Ooh.

[Tim Pool]

Like Netanyahu.

[Dylan Houseman]

I'm in on it, too.

[Phil]

Benjamin. What's your.

[Ian Crossland]

What's your middle name?

[Tim Pool]

Phil.

[Phil]

My middle name is Stephen.

[Ian Crossland]

Ah, it's a good one.

[Tim Pool]

V. What about you, Carter?

[Carter Banks]

Bryant.

[Tim Pool]

Bryant.

[Carter Banks]

There's an eyesight in there, but no.

[Phil]

Oh, no, I.

[Carter Banks]

Okay.

[Ian Crossland]

Brian has Ian in it.

[Tim Pool]

Cbb Sounds like a bank.

[Carter Banks]

Yeah.

[Ian Crossland]

Cvb.

[Tim Pool]

Cbb.

[Ian Crossland]

Cbb.

[Carter Banks]

Like BB Netanyahu.

[Tim Pool]

Oh, CB Wait a minute.

[Ian Crossland]

BB on my left, and Benjamin left

[Tim Pool]

me in Jokers to the right. Oh, man. Paul Rizzler says I love the Tim Cast baby tradition and I'm excited to add to it. We are currently in the hospital. Please help us welcome our baby girl.

[Phil]

Congratulations.

[Tim Pool]

Is it Lyra Lira Key Wristler. Born this morning. Congratulations.

[Carter Banks]

Love it.

[Phil]

Congratulations.

[Dylan Houseman]

We're saving the birthright.

[Tim Pool]

We should do the baby awards.

[Phil]

Oh, yeah.

[Tim Pool]

You know, I was thinking, we should have the mommies do they have the mommies. I don't know, like award ceremonies for moms.

[Phil]

That's pretty cool.

[Tim Pool]

And then it's like the award for the mom with the most babies goes to like, Janet with 15, kept your baby. You win.

[Dylan Houseman]

Janet the minite.

[Tim Pool]

You guys ever hear that story of the guy who died in his will, he said he'd leave his money. The woman in his village who had the most babies. Like 4 women had 12 babies.

[Ian Crossland]

Awesome.

[Dylan Houseman]

We should turn that into government.

[Tim Pool]

Then they split all of the money amongst their families.

[Phil]

Good for him.

[Carter Banks]

Interesting.

[Phil]

Yeah, Very cool.

[Tim Pool]

So the women were just like, time to have babies. Now could you imagine, like your wife going in, being like, I need 12 babies.

[Dylan Houseman]

Now imagine coming in second place.

[Phil]

Oh, yeah.

[Ashley Webb]

Yeah.

[Carter Banks]

That would suck.

[Phil]

14 babies and you're broke.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah. Too many babies. Yeah, but you know what? You have the love of the baby.

[Phil]

You do.

[Dylan Houseman]

You do.

[Tim Pool]

Not a single one of those moms looked at one of those babies face and said, I regret this baby.

[Dylan Houseman]

True.

[Tim Pool]

They said, you know what? I am blessed with a baby.

[Phil]

All right.

[Tim Pool]

Jeanette says, in Kentucky, U.S. senate vacancy is filled only by special election. Under state law, the governor is barred from making any temporary appointments to replace a senator who dies in office.

[Phil]

Really?

[Tim Pool]

That's what it was. People were concerned that a special election would favor the Democrats or something.

[Ian Crossland]

Yeah, Democratic governor something.

[Phil]

Well, I was concerned that the Democrat governor was going to appoint before I learned that there was a special election.

[Ashley Webb]

Okay.

[Tim Pool]

Rusty says, according to Poly Polymarket, Detroit had the worst air quality on earth for the second straight day. I unfortunately live live nearby. Feels apocalyptic, bro. It's crazy out here in this building. My eyes were burning like. Not in the studio. We're fine. Cuz we're in a building. In a building. But the warehouse portion, it keeps the rain out. But you can smell it and you can see. It's crazy.

[Ian Crossland]

Is it benzene?

[Tim Pool]

It's probably tons of East Palestine, Ohio.

[Ian Crossland]

That train wreck that. Yeah, that was vinyl chloride and then. Vinyl chloride. Yeah. Which has benzene in it.

[Carter Banks]

Sounds really smoky. Smells like smoke.

[Phil]

Ian wants more.

[Ian Crossland]

I'll look it up.

[Tim Pool]

What do we got here? Dr. Ray says card room opened in Queens. Let's have a small tournament. You mean a poker card room or a magic card room? Because we can do both. Yeah, magic.

[Ian Crossland]

Dude, they're launching their Star Trek set next.

[Tim Pool]

I am going to buy every single one of those things. There will be none for anyone.

[Phil]

Ian, vinyl chloride does not have benzene. Are you sure?

[Ian Crossland]

Sounds like it was final chloride and benzene. Then there's a benzene.

[Tim Pool]

When is. When is Star Trek launching? I saw the announcement.

[Ian Crossland]

August or November 17th.

[Tim Pool]

I'm going. I'm going to buy every single collector box that exists from everybody and then I'm going to put it in my closet and no one can touch it,

[Phil]

hide it away, reorder.

[Tim Pool]

I'm going to be like a red dragon on top of my Star Trek cards.

[Phil]

Put it in the safe.

[Ian Crossland]

Really?

[Phil]

You're going to hold safe one of the safes?

[Tim Pool]

The. The big one.

[Ian Crossland]

Magic cards are meant to be enjoyed, not hoarded.

[Phil]

They're not.

[Tim Pool]

I'm going to. I want. What are the serialized? Do they announce yet?

[Carter Banks]

What?

[Phil]

Serialized?

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah.

[Phil]

I didn't know that the mag magic cards were serialized now.

[Tim Pool]

They've been for a decade. Yeah, well, so like the one of one serialized Lord of the Rings. One ring is worth $5 million.

[Phil]

Oh, okay.

[Tim Pool]

It's the most valuable magic card.

[Phil]

Stop playing in like 2000. This is 2.

[Ian Crossland]

Benzene is present in the wildfire smoke affecting the northeast right now.

[Tim Pool]

Oh, interesting.

[Dylan Houseman]

Brave. AI tell you that?

[Phil]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ian Crossland]

It's the Chinese AI letting me know this cheap.

[Dylan Houseman]

What was it called? Quim. The Quim. Tell you.

[Ian Crossland]

Is that what it is?

[Dylan Houseman]

Something like.

[Ian Crossland]

I remember I'd never heard of it before.

[Dylan Houseman]

Quim 3.5.

[Ian Crossland]

So wildfire smoking.

[Ashley Webb]

Oh, wait.

[Ian Crossland]

Benzene, tuluine, styrene and dioxins.

[Tim Pool]

They're doing sick. They're doing autograph cards. This is wild.

[Carter Banks]

Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

So that you can. You can have them signed by the actor.

[Ashley Webb]

Right.

[Tim Pool]

Wow, bro. William Shatner is. Is old chat. If there's anything that I must do in this life, it is to get a signed captain. James T. Kirk. Magic The Gathering Garden.

[Ian Crossland]

What color he's going to be?

[Tim Pool]

He's red.

[Ian Crossland]

Good.

[Tim Pool]

Kirk is red.

[Ian Crossland]

He's got that red shirt.

[Tim Pool]

I'd imagine Picard is going to be like white and blue.

[Ian Crossland]

White.

[Tim Pool]

Actually, he could be white. He could be. He could be just guy. He could be red.

[Phil]

White, blue.

[Ian Crossland]

If they make a multicolor.

[Dylan Houseman]

Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

Janeway's green. I agree with that. Actually. I agree with that.

[Ian Crossland]

Do they have like a captain for every color? I'd imagine the one guy's got to be blue.

[Tim Pool]

Then Captain Kirk's a beast. In. In. In red Aggro.

[Carter Banks]

Yo.

[Ian Crossland]

You've seen him.

[Tim Pool]

You can look at the cards. You can pull them up.

[Ian Crossland]

Fire.

[Tim Pool]

Yeah. Whenever he enters or attacks, you can choose one. If you have no cards in hand, you can choose one or more and then he can. You can discard a card, draw a card. You can create a one. One red officer. Or creatures control. Get plus one plus zero. So that's. That's mad beast. If you're. If you're. If you're. If your hand is empty and you're playing aggro, that's massive.

[Phil]

You can create a 11 officer. What's an officer?

[Dylan Houseman]

Just a 1.

[Tim Pool]

1 creature. Creature type is officer. So you're. You're basically still able to do stuff

[Phil]

if you're red shirt, essentially. Right?

[Ashley Webb]

Yeah.

[Tim Pool]

That's going to be an awesome creature

[Ian Crossland]

for a red deck, I think. Yeah. Red shirts are office.

[Phil]

Red shirts were the ones that were going to die.

[Tim Pool]

Janeway does exploration, which is funny because it's Voyager, but you can play an extra land. And then whenever she or another creature enters, you can explore.

[Ian Crossland]

Okay, yeah. Janeway. And then what's the other dude? What's his name from deep space?

[Tim Pool]

Cisco.

[Ashley Webb]

Cisco.

[Ian Crossland]

Is he blue?

[Tim Pool]

Look him up, because the only car.

[Ian Crossland]

That's what I want. No, I'm just kidding.

[Tim Pool]

I mean, he might be blue, but I gotta be honest, I think he would be blue.

[Ian Crossland]

He just seems like a blue guy.

[Tim Pool]

No, when he. When he. He and Garrick assassinated that. That senator.

[Ian Crossland]

Oh, really?

[Tim Pool]

I mean, he regretted it and he was like, I shouldn't have done it, but he's more. I don't know. I. I don't know if any of the captains could be. Could be black.

[Ian Crossland]

Oh, that's.

[Tim Pool]

He's literally black. But that's not.

[Ian Crossland]

We're talking about.

[Tim Pool]

Oh. Anyway, we got wrapped up in Star Trek. All right, where are we at? Let's see. We'll grab one more here. Let's see. Sergeant Stoic says, Ian, your belief that rape is a common things is a lot about your worldview, but more about you as an. More. More you as an individual.

[Ian Crossland]

I appreciate that.

[Phil]

Yeah, I'm keyed in, man.

[Ian Crossland]

I. I know what's.

[Dylan Houseman]

What's what.

[Tim Pool]

All right, all right, everybody smash the like button. Share the show with everyone you've ever met. You can follow me on accident Instagram at Tim Castle. It's been great hanging out with you guys this Friday night. Dylan, you want to shout anything out?

[Dylan Houseman]

Follow me on Twitter. Dylan Houseman. Sorry, X, not Twitter anymore. And go read dailywire.com.

[Tim Pool]

yeah, don't dead name them.

[Dylan Houseman]

Yes, I apologize.

[Ian Crossland]

Follow me at Ian Crossland on the Internet at Ian Crossland on all social networks at Ian Crossland right there.

[Tim Pool]

Have a nice evening.

[Phil]

I am Phil that remains on Twix and on Patreon. You can check out my stuff on patreon.com the band is all that remains. You can follow us on Apple Music, Amazon Music, Pandora, YouTube, Spotify, and Deezer. Don't forget the left lane is for crime. Carter.

[Carter Banks]

I'm Carter Banks. You can follow me at Carter Banks on X. At Carter Banks official on Instagram, though I rarely use it. And at Trash house Records on YouTube. Got a new music video up there. Still semi kind of new. Go let it go.

[Dylan Houseman]

Check it out.

[Tim Pool]

Let me know what you think. Also watch Gingi Ito. Gingi Junji Ito is like.

[Ian Crossland]

Heard of that before.

[Tim Pool]

Oh, dude, that's just like my favorite stuff ever. Horror anime. You were talking about that last night. But some of the best graphic novels in horror ever, it's just. It's get some original stuff, you know. Like there's one that just got recommended. It's a guy, if he goes to sleep, there's a human inside him trying to escape his subconscious. And so the hand comes out of his mouth and so he can't go to sleep. And then no one believes him. Then he falls asleep. He's like. He's like, if I fall asleep, you have to wake me up. And she's like, sure. And then he goes to sleep and she doesn't. And then a hand comes out of his mouth, starts screaming, yeah, dude, it's awesome. Check it out. Thanks for hanging out, guys. We're back with clips throughout the weekend. We'll see you Monday. And thanks for watching the show.