Answering Your Dilemmas & Questions: Diddy, Faith vs. Feminism, My Man Blocked Me... and MORE

Summary

Podcast Summary: To My Sisters

Episode: Answering Your Dilemmas & Questions: Diddy, Faith vs. Feminism, My Man Blocked Me... and MORE
Hosts: Courtney Daniella Boateng & Renée Kapuku
Date: December 10, 2025

---

Episode Overview

In this live episode, Courtney and Renée embrace the interactive format to answer audience dilemmas in real time, marking five years since starting "To My Sisters." The conversation meanders through advice on balancing creative projects, honest reflections on marriage, discussion of the Diddy documentary, navigating the intersections of faith and feminism, modern dating woes, friendship breakups, and more. With warmth, humor, and candor, the hosts uphold their mission of uplifting the sisterhood and tackling tough, relevant issues affecting women today.

---

Main Discussion Points and Insights

1. Podcasting & Managing Multiple Responsibilities

(06:46–16:08)

• Listener Dilemma: How to juggle starting a podcast with a Master’s program and part-time work?
• Advice Highlights:
  • Systems & Consistency: Both hosts emphasized that systems are key—batch recording, prioritization, and time-blocking create space for creative pursuits.
  • Realistic Planning: “Weekly might not be best for you… figure out your rollout. Is it every two weeks, or in seasons?” – Courtney (11:05)
  • Collaboration: Having help, even if not a co-host, lightens the load.
  • Quality: Don’t obsess over fancy visuals—start with what’s feasible. Execution and consistency matter most.

2. Marriage Reflections

(16:20–20:17)

• Audience Q: “How’s married life?”
• Both hosts find it surprisingly peaceful and grounding, highlighting friendship as the foundation of their successful marriages.
  • Quote: “If the basis of it is just friendship, you should be okay.” – Courtney (19:23)
  • Quote: “Marriage is cool when you just treat it like friendship and [are] respectful to one another.” – Courtney (19:28)

3. 50 Cent’s Diddy Documentary—'The Reckoning'

(20:24–38:04)

• Key Reactions:
  • 50 Cent’s “pettiness” is acknowledged but credited for using his platform to expose industry evils.
  • Both are shocked but not surprised at the extent of Diddy's alleged abuse, exploitation, and criminality—particularly the complicity and silence of those who surrounded him.
  • “For you to not only dislike somebody…but also use good resources. That’s…talent.” – Renée on 50 Cent (21:33)
  • Bystander Effect: Hosts stress the collective responsibility to not enable wrongdoing by proximity.
    • “How many people are happy to be adjacent to evil as long as they keep their hand clean and there’s money in their pocket?” – Courtney (30:26)
  • Systemic Issues: They connect Diddy’s story to broader industry and social patterns of protecting powerful men, calling for both men and women to hold each other accountable.

4. Dating Dilemmas & Independent Women

(43:21–48:08)

• Dilemma: “I’m 30 and never been asked out. I want babies and love but feel lonely.”
  • Affirmation that it’s common, not shameful, and not just “because you’re an independent woman.”
  • Practical Steps: Put yourself in social circles, leverage your network, consider online and offline dating, but also cultivate a rich single life.
  • Quote: “You are single and 30 and flirty. I need you to be like outside…we gonna make those babies. We’re gonna make that love.” – Renée (47:14)
  • “Don’t zero in so much on dating that you forget how beautiful your life is outside of that.” – Courtney (48:08)

5. Navigating Faith & Feminism

(51:01–66:09)

• Dilemma: Struggling with feminism, faith, and avoiding desensitization in a complex world.
• Courtney’s Insightful Breakdown:
  • There is compatibility between Christianity and feminism at their foundations, with both focused on honoring dignity and justice.
  • Much of what is toxic in “church culture” comes from cultural Christianity or patriarchy, not the essence of God or Jesus’ teachings.
  • “God is not a misogynist…there is a facet of God that is like me in nature.” – Courtney (54:33)
  • Encourages listeners to study scripture directly, rather than only through church tradition or cultural bias.
  • Wrestle with hard scriptures, but distinguish between flaws of religious communities/leaders and God.
  • On combating emotional burnout: Renée underscores the need for rest and boundaries in an age of information overload; maintain empathy by acting locally and intentionally.
    • “Rest…our faith encourages rest for a reason, and it’s not just from the physical stuff, but the emotional weightiness that comes from consuming such darkness on a daily basis.” – Renée (66:44)

6. Friendship Breakups & Reconciliation

(73:39–78:06)

• Question: Can you come back from a friendship breakup, especially if only one party wants reconciliation?
  • If your heart isn’t in it, it’s ok to be honest and take space. Both have to do the work—don’t enter reconciliation out of guilt.
  • “Your emotions are valid, and I think it’s perfectly okay to say, ‘I’m not ready to pursue a friendship reconciliation.’” – Renée (74:14)

7. Relationship Issues & Communication

(78:06–81:54)

• Dilemma: Partner blocked listener on Instagram after a misunderstanding—what now?
  • Both find blocking a significant escalation and prompt the listener to consider if this is healthy conflict resolution.
  • “A block is very serious…Let that man unblock you when he’s fine and ready. But if genuinely it wasn’t that big of a deal…the blocking has shocked you—that is extreme.” – Courtney (79:25)
  • Emphasize the importance of discussing communication norms moving forward and not losing sleep over someone who may be emotionally avoidant.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On accountability and complicity:
  “The complicit nature of all of this is quite scary…” – Courtney (29:22)
• On toxic masculinity narratives:
  “This is the real types of men society produces because of what they glamorize, glorify. And if we don’t call people out, these are real men who go on to have real negative effects…” – Courtney (35:53)
• On self-care while dating:
  “Maximise it. Create a beautiful life for yourself...and being 30, hopefully the disposable income, the freedom…Maximize it.” – Courtney (48:08)
• On Christianity and justice:
  “If you come into Christ, the only thing you need to repent of is sexual immorality. You also need to repent of your hatred, of your internalized thoughts you have towards people.” – Courtney (65:05)
• On emotional burnout:
  “It’s very normal…but also means we’re operating in survival mode…rest, our faith encourages rest for a reason.” – Renée (66:44)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Intro, Reflections on 5 Years of TMS: 00:32–04:35
• Podcasting & Time Management Advice: 06:46–16:08
• Marriage Reflections: 16:20–20:17
• Diddy Documentary Discussion: 20:24–41:32
• Dating Dilemmas: 43:21–48:08
• Faith vs. Feminism: 51:01–66:09
• Friendship Breakups: 73:39–78:06
• Relationship Blocking & Communication: 78:06–81:54

---

Tone and Language

• Relatable and down-to-earth: The hosts maintain their trademark blend of humor, warmth, and straightforward advice.
• Empowering and affirming: Consistently encourage listeners to embrace their desires, be honest with themselves and others, and value their holistic well-being.
• Intellectually honest: Willing to grapple with hard truths, especially regarding faith, identity, and injustice.

---

For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This episode is rich with compassionate, practical advice, unfiltered commentary on messy social issues, and reminders that navigating adulthood, relationships, and self-fulfillment is rarely simple—but always worth doing with self-love, sisterhood, and honesty. Whether you related to the certainty of “never being asked out,” are wrestling with faith and identity, or just appreciate thoughtful big-sister wisdom on trending topics, Courtney and Renée deliver—live and direct.

Transcript

[Commercial Narrator]

You may have heard that your home equity was off limits, but more and more people are using it to reach their goals. A home Equity investment from HomeTap gives you cash in exchange for a share of your home's future value. And you can use it for anything from paying down debt to making renovations to handling emergency expenses, all without monthly payments. HomeTap. Get more from homeownership. Get more from life. Visit hometap.com to see if you pre qualify in seconds. That's hometap.com subject to eligibility. Terms and conditions apply.

[Courtney]

Hey, sisters. Welcome to today's live episode of the 2 My Sisters podcast. We are coming to you live from the virtual studio.

Hope you are enjoying it. Hope that you enjoy it as we go.

It has been five years since we started tms. It has been journey. And that journey has brought us to 2025, which has had so many, so many changes, so many new and different things. And we were thinking, like, listen, so many things have changed, which has got us figuring out a new filming schedule and system. As you guys know, we used to live together, but now we don't.

Crazy. And so filming is not as easy or as, hey, girl. Hey, Vera.

Filming. Filming is not as easy as it used to be. So we're just trying to experiment with different things. As you guys have seen the new studio we've been using out in London, which you guys are loving, you're loving the set and that's great. So, yeah, we're just figuring out what to do. But this week it was hard for us to get into the studio. And so here we are. We said, listen, we still want to deliver an episode and it feels like we haven't talked to you guys in real time. It's actually been years since. Since we did a live stream. So here we are with our first live stream of 2025 in the great time of December, because better than never.

[Renee]

Live and direct. Live and direct. It's so crazy to think that literally five years ago, wow, we've actually aged five years. We've been doing this thing for five years now.

[Courtney]

So five years.

[Renee]

Thank you so much for bearing with us as well. I know that we have been saying, oh, we're in the season and things are changing and all that kind of good stuff. But I would just hope that as you are bearing with us, you guys are coming on the journey along with us. As you guys are also going through all of your transitions and all of that kind of good stuff as well. It seems that the Internet continues to go on Even as amidst all of the life changes, a whole bunch of a whole torrent of nonsense is happening whilst we are figuring things out. So it's good to be here. We thank God for five years and many, many more once we get our lives together. I know that.

[Courtney]

Absolutely. Absolutely. So, yeah, in true CMS fashion. Hello and welcome to the 2 My Sisters podcast. I'm Courtney.

[Renee]

I'm Renee. And we are your online, literally online sisters and hosts of the To My Sisters podcast.

[Courtney]

We are all about promoting the wellness, growth and development of a community of sisters around the world.

[Renee]

And in today's podcast episode, we're going to be answering your dilemmas, live and direct, as well as having a good old girly chitchat. There is so much happening in today's society and my goodness, golly gosh, we have much to address as your online sisters. So we hope that you guys enjoyed this episode. Please, please be commenting. I love the fact that we can actually see your comments in real time so we can actually interact with you folks. So if you have a burning question to ask us, if you have a dilemma, if you even have a reaction that you want to share, please keep it coming because we are watching.

[Courtney]

We are watching. Pop it in the chat. And yeah, in terms of questions, feel free to ask us anything, anything about tms, the journey so far. Our lives are like things that have been going on. Questions about like what you think we think about the world. If you want to know our opinions about certain things, certain topics you want us to speak on, let us know. We're here, we're open. Or we have a dilemma. Straight into my past. Oh, see what you did there, girl? Okay, cool. Your dilemma is about starting you've started a podcast. We will get to your dilemma. And so yeah, keep asking your questions. But first, are there any housekeeping announcements?

[Renee]

Oh, housekeeping announcements.

Not too many to be honest with you. I think the only thing that I can really say is, oh, first and foremost, thank you everybody that has had two of my sisters as part of their Spotify wrapped. We see you. We love you. It was incredible to see that there's so many folks. Yeah. To see that there are so many folks that are like super, super interested and have been rocking it with us. Whether you're an old time sister or a new time sister, thank you so much for supporting us. It's incredible to see that we're still holding strong with that five star rating on Spotify. So Quartz, I ain't gonna lie to you. Your harassment of the sisters has been.

[Courtney]

I wouldn't call it harassment. I think it's a strict warning.

Alongside a firm recommendation. A firm recommendation.

[Renee]

And it's all about perspective at the end of the day. So thank you so much. Oh, I've just seen. Sorry, a comment in the chat that I've been wanting to address. Don't worry, we're going to get to the 50 Cent documentary on P. Diddy. Don't worry, we'll get there.

[Courtney]

Oh, P. Diddy.

[Renee]

Something hot. But housekeeping. Sorry, let's sweep the house first. Before we just. Before we just. Thank you. Thank you, sisters. We really appreciate that. And sisters, it's Christmas soon. Whether or not you celebrate, we hope that you guys have a restful and wonderful happy holidays. Why not make it a dreamy sistery Christmas by purchasing the To My Sister's book for somebody that you know and love. We thank everybody that's been supporting us so far. It's so incredible to see that there's just so many people that have a copy of the To My Sisters book. So if you don't have it or you've been blessed by it, I want to bless somebody else, please. I would urge and encourage you that this Christmas or this holiday season be the season that you are kind enough to donate a book or two to a sister that you think that it may help.

[Courtney]

That would be brilliant. That would be absolutely lovely. Great book, if I do say so. Fab. Okay, well, now that you guys know the deal, now that housekeeping is out the way, we can get straight into the ding, ding, ding D.

Which is where we answer your problems. We literally just take our seats as online big sisters and we help you navigate whatever you're going through, help bring you a different perspective, hopefully some solution to some comfort, understanding. Sometimes there's a rebuke, but it's always in love. Always in love. So let's hit off. Let's hit it off. First of all, with to my 20s podcast. Shout out if you want to. Too many podcasts, check out to my 20s dilemma. I started a podcast inspired by y'. All.

[Renee]

Thank you.

[Courtney]

Called To My twenties. How do you juggle the podcast and work? I'm currently doing a Masters. Congratulations and well done. That's amazing. And part time work. Killing it. So, yes. Any advice for consistency and quality? Great one.

[Renee]

Coming in swinging. Love that. First and foremost, congratulations. It is very difficult to be a multifaceted girly in these streets right now. So to be working, doing masters and also podcasting, give yourself a pat on the back. Seriously, for being able to Manage all of those things. And also congratulations for creating a podcast that's so necessary and needed to so many of us, especially as women who are still navigating the 20s, still navigating growing up and all that kind of good stuff. I can speak to the more, I guess, practical bits and pieces. And then courts, please chime in with some of the, obviously the operational stuff, but then the creative stuff because we. That's not my gift and that's my spiritual calling. But from an operational standpoint, it very much is about implementing good systems. This is not to say that we have cracked it, nor are we perfect effect. Like things change, life changes, all that kind of good stuff. But I think you will always fall to the height of your systems. So making sure that you are clear about what is a priority in your life right now and making sure that you have time block space throughout your day, throughout your weeks, throughout your months to be able to execute on each of these different things. I think sometimes it can be very, very difficult to do everything all at once, every single day. And so what we found that has been particularly effective is batch recording. We've also found kind of batch content creation or setting aside some intentional time to really focus on one thing at a time and then making sure that we have a good bank where we are able to kind of roll out the podcast episodes, but then also continue to do the various other things that we do outside of the podcast. So making sure that you have good systems, making sure that you really think about, okay, how do I ensure that I do one thing at a time, But I ensure that I'm giving my full focus and my full time and energy to it. And the best way to do that is time blocking and batch recording. I would also recommend in terms of having a one at a time approach, it can be so tempting to do everything at once, particularly when it comes to podcasting. Right. So there's obviously the audio podcast, there's a lot of visual podcasts. This is a visual podcast. But I would say I would very much focus on being consistent on one thing or one element of your podcast at a time and then starting to sequence it such that you can build on top of that. So, for example, if you're primarily a audio podcast, really banging out the audio podcasting and seeing if that works for you, and then gauging your, you know, your commitments, your time, then thinking about, okay, maybe I want to grow a little bit more. I want to scale. Let me focus on your YouTubes or your TikToks or whichever platform naturally falls into line for you, it is really a sequencing game when it comes to scaling and doing it in a way that is very sustainable for what you're currently doing is so important to your podcast success. So I would definitely recommend make sure that you have a system, make sure that you're batch recording, but make sure that all of these things are anchored in your sense of prioritization and also making sure that you take the necessary time to do everything sequentially as opposed to doing everything all at once. So that's a little bit of advice that I have for you. But course would definitely love to hear your take.

[Courtney]

Hello Earl. I completely agree. I think from a career perspective, juggling like various projects at a time.

Or in your case, like various projects and responsibilities in terms of working and your master's degree, it is going to be really stretching. And I think it's important to really validate that feeling of this is hard because it is. As much as people make juggling and multitasking stuff look quite easy, it can be very, very difficult. And behind the scenes, the majority of people are teetering between I don't have enough time to do everything that I want to do and I'm not doing enough and so completely resonate with a lot of the feelings. I think, honestly, if you want to have a successful podcast while struggling other stuff, like Renee said, the key work here is systems, the key word systems, and creating a system and a schedule that allows you to really be effective and productive. And that looks like, I think time blocking is a really effective strategy. Or just, you know, going into your calendar, allocating times that you have time off from school, time off from work to be able to map out, okay, what am I going to be producing for the podcast? Is it going to be, I don't know what your podcast format is, but if it is that, it's weekly. How are you tackling weekly considering your schedule? I don't actually think weekly could is the most beneficial thing for you. Right. As much as I would recommend for podcast growth, attacking things weekly. We used to have two episodes a week when we were initially growing, but that's because we could accommodate for that. It was the pandemic girl, ain't nobody going nowhere. So that was so easy. But with you, you have places to be, mama. So it's important for you to realize, okay, is this going to be a podcast that's released every two weeks or if we release every week, is it that I take time? Maybe it's annual leave, maybe it's Making sure that you're on holiday from your masters to record those 612 episodes, whatever it's going to be, if it's a series, and release those over a 6 to 12 period, 12 week period. And that's going to be season one of the podcast and I'm going to be done. And then I'll double down on exam season, I'll double down on stacking up my money, and then we'll be back with season two next year. That's an effective strategy as well. So just take time to outline what's my strategy going to be for my podcast, what is its rollout going to look like. And then create a system around creating that. Whether it's a filming day where you record those six or those 12. Do not record 12 in a day unless they're like 10 minutes long each. But whatever you're gonna do, if I'm gonna record all 12 this week. Okay, how do I get guests? How do I figure out what topics I'm talking about, wherever it may be? So, yeah, have a plan, stick to the plan. It's going to be very tempting to stray from the plan, especially when you see what every other podcast is doing. But if there's anything that I've been learning more and more in my career, especially as a creative who has a lot of creative ideas and it's always jumping from here to there, it's have a plan and stick to it and execute the plan. You can iterate from there.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Based on the review and the feedback. And another, I guess the last piece of advice is one thing that's really helped with TMS's success is we have two people doing it. Not just two co hosts, but two co founders and two people who work on the operational side of the business. Two people who are handling production, two people who are, you know, for intensive purposes as invested and are halving the load. I think it's simple, important for you to consider if you can and if you're open to the idea, maybe bringing somebody in on this idea who can help you. It doesn't necessarily have to be a 50, 50 partner. It doesn't necessarily have to be a co host as well. I think some people, when they think partner with someone to do this or collaborate with someone, they think, oh, so I've got to host it with someone. No. Finding somebody who's good at what you may not have the time for. So is it somebody who can help you with admin? Is it somebody who can help you with production? Is it someone who can Help you with editing, whatever it may be. Is it a studio that can hand handle all of the production side of things so that you just stroll in, you sit down, you ask your questions or you talk to the camera and then they handle the editing. So all you're thinking about is being in host mode. You can divide and conquer like that. Not co host, but somebody who's in front of the camera, you and someone who's behind the camera, them. And that's a great way to split the load again. So maybe think about it in that way as well. Is there someone I could collaborate with? But it's not going to be easy. It's not going to be easy, but it sounds like a really, really great podcast. And so yeah, I think the quality will be determined by the effectiveness of the system. Obviously it's 2025. We want to see visuals, I'm not gonna lie. We want to see visuals, we want to hear audios. But clear, clean visuals can be achieved from your phone, it can be achieved from a studio, it can be achieved from a DSLR camera. If you want to purchase your own or borrow someone's or rent one on like fat llama or something. Do your thing, babe. I think it's not necessarily that you don't know what to do. I think you're struggling to find the time to do it and that comes down to a system.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Long winded way of saying you're more than capable of doing this effort.

[Renee]

Yeah, fabulous. All right, scrolling down to see what else we got. We have got a.

How's married life been?

[Courtney]

It's been nice.

Isn'T it?

[Renee]

Such an ominous nice.

[Courtney]

It's been nice. I don't know what to say. I feel like I get asked this all the time.

And it's just. I don't know what to say. It's nice.

[Renee]

Nothing to report. Aside from the fact that it's been good, man.

[Courtney]

It's been good, it's been enjoyable.

How have you been finding you've been married for like eight months?

[Renee]

Crazy. I feel like the time is going.

[Courtney]

Eight months, that's crazy.

[Renee]

Cut the cameras. Dead ass. Eight months is basically a newborn that's about to take his first steps if he ain't been walking already.

[Courtney]

That's crazy.

[Renee]

Same. Very, very much insane. But no, it's been good, man. It's been so, so blessed. Genuinely. Nothing like to report? No. Like, oh my gosh, so such profound learnings or anything like that? Yeah. Maybe at the year mark you guys could ask, oh, how's it been? And I'll have something existential to contribute. But so far it's been good, man. It's been peaceful. I've enjoyed it. 10 out of 10 would recommend the right person. Or of course it's peaceful.

You know, it's been good. I've enjoyed. I'm continuing to enjoy. So no, I'm loving it on these sides, mate.

[Courtney]

Good.

I agree. I think.

There'S something that wants to now come and harass my throat. I think the last two months for me have been. It's been nice. It's been nice to just do regular degular stuff together. Yeah, it's been nice getting to be.

Weird. Like, neither of us live with our partner before we got married, so I think moving in with my now husband, but.

Friend, like childhood friend. It's been nice to now be like quirky. Like so quirky. So weird. I found out that we both have a fascination for breakdancing, apparently. So that's a regular occurrence any time of the day. So just stuff like that. It's like, whoa, I get to be weird. You get to be weird. And we're safe because neither of us is going nowhere.

[Renee]

100.

[Courtney]

That's been nice. That's been nice. So, yeah, all good. All good. I think one thing that I will say is as much as a lot of, like, obviously marriage has been getting a lot of bad press recently on the Internet. These streets, girl, don't just jump into a marriage because it looks cute on a wedding day. But one thing I was. Why are you just smiling at me? Sorry. The way this man is looking.

[Renee]

You know what? I just.

[Courtney]

I'm at work. Behave.

So, yeah, I think like, as much as marriage has like a bad rep right now.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

You should proceed with caution. I do actually think that marriage.

It'S cool when you just treat it like friendship and.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Respectful to one another. I just think the. If the basis of it is just friendship, you should be okay.

[Renee]

No, 100%. It's so funny because literally we were having dinner with two of our friends yesterday and we were talking about the fact that friendship in a marriage is so, so important. And literally all of the couples that we know that have been married for like 10, 20, 30 years, the one thing that they've said is you've got to make sure that that person is your best friend. Like, that person is really. That's your boy. Do you know what I mean? So it's. It's. Yeah, you. I know everybody's always looking for all of these qualities when it comes to like marriage, good character, all that kind of stuff. But genuinely, if you marry your friend, you will have a good time. You'll have a good time.

[Courtney]

Agreed. Agreed. And just hope that your friend don't change. So.

Next up, we have the big one. Have you guys watched the 50 Cent documentary, aka I believe you're talking about Sean Combs.

Which I think is a very epic. And 50 cent title.

Put that man's government name there and say it's the reckoning. Because I've been waiting for an opportunity to bring this man down to the ground and all he did.

[Renee]

50 Cent. Tyler Perry.

Over 50 Cent. You know what? I have multiple thoughts. First of all, I'm going to talk about 50 Cent and then I'll talk about the documentary. I have one episode left of that documentary because it's a cinematic masterpiece. Yeah, me and my husband, we've been watching it. It. We've been following it.

As soon as it came out. We've been watching an episode each evening and then having a discussion about it. 50 Cent is perhaps one of the greatest and most talented haters that I have ever come across in my.

Because for you to not only dislike somebody, know about, then the nonsense they've been going through, but also use good resources. Good resources. Because there, there are some videos, there are some people coming out there that I'm like, 50, I know you paid people big bucks to feature in this documentary. Wow, wow, wow, wow. And I think for me, my respect for 50 Cent, I said, this is the reason why people was out here.

[Courtney]

Trying to shoot you.

[Renee]

Like, this is why many men.

I said, yeah, 50 cents, this is why. And you know what, as much as I won't say that I completely agree with everything that 50 Cent has ever done. I think he. He himself is a very problematic character. But his. I love the fact that he's just like completely branched out into so many things that really interested him and coupled it with his. His hateration and his pettiness. So the fact that, you know, he produced Power, which excellent. And want to produce numerous other documentaries that were also quite excellent. And so I think It's. I think 50 Cent, as much as he's petty and the hater, I think he's also a representative of pursuing your dreams. When you.

And you become excellent at one thing, it opens the doors to so many other things like being able to move from, yeah, music and hip hop and rap and all that kind of stuff to actually be in a serious filmmaker. And I feel like a lot of people before they watched the Documentary. And before Power, a lot of people didn't take 50 Cent seriously as somebody that could be an executive producer. But actually seeing the quality of what he delivered in that documentary, I was like, wow. Like, pettiness aside, this is really some good stuff, 50.

[Courtney]

Keep it up.

[Renee]

So I. I really did like that. And I do think it's also a very important story to tell because it's a tale as old as time of, you know, somebody reaching the upper echelons of whatever industry they're operating in and the debauchery of what they've been doing to get there finally coming out and years of it coming out. I think it's a very important narrative to share, and I think it's the fact that it's even called the Reckoning. I was like, yeah, this is. Everybody's gonna get their term. In the words of Cap Williams, like, everybody's gonna get their comeuppance. And this is why it's. It's important to share these stories as a cautionary tale of bad character, bad behavior that has gone unchecked, that at some point, reckoning will come. So I think just the narrative in of itself of the documentary is very important. As for P. Diddy himself, I think I've been quite vocal on this podcast, as much as I can be without repercussions, that I think that if you do bad things, then you need to face the consequences of it. You need to go to jail. And I. What I found so funny was that in each episode of this documentary, 50 Cent did not fail to remind us that Sean Combs is in jail. Like, literally the first open screen. This man, at this date, at this time, he was found guilty, and he's in jail for 50 months. Yeah. Failed to remind us that there's consequences to such actions. Yeah. I think what. What. What was unfortunate, though, was just to hear.

The stories and the wreckage that somebody like P. Diddy left in his wake from the very beginning. And it's like, I get. Obviously, he's been through his own trauma with, you know, his parents, his father dying quite young. Sorry if there's any spoiler alerts. This is your time now. To maybe, you know, I'll try not to spoil it too much, but some of his childhood experiences, to the whole fiasco around Tupac and Biggie's death, to the whole fiasco around building an institution where rampant sexual assault was happening and perpetrated by him, both on women and men, contributing to glorifying a culture in Hollywood which is built on the sexual Physical and financial exploitation of artists of various people that are trying to make it in the world. I think that in of itself, obviously people need to get their consequences, but it's a story that needs to be shared to first and foremost show that these things are quite common. They're dangerous, but they're frighteningly common. And they, they must be brought to light. People must be held accountable for such bad behavior. And I think it also goes to show how much this behavior is ingrained in our very society. Like to be part of. You have to be exploited and then become a predator. So that, that for me, and I think the saddest thing for me about the documentary was the fact that none of this was shocking. I mean, the details and some of the sordid information, I was kind of like, oh, I didn't need to know that. But wow, this was happening. I think the overall story arc of like Diddy being this guy who abused his position in power, I'm like, I hate that this is such a rampant narrative that we have, especially in the creative industry.

That's my quick, quick two pence because I talk about this. There's so much to delve into. So if we want to do a reckoning watch party or like an after hours.

But yeah, those are some of my thoughts. But yeah, we'll definitely.

[Courtney]

Yeah, no, I hear it, I hear it. I. I agree with you. I think I'm. I think I just finished episode.

Two and I'm like, in halfway through episode three.

I. I was actually shocked by a lot of stuff. Not because I didn't know Diddy was a bad person, obviously in the. But over the last couple of years, a lot has been coming out about Diddy and I. As soon as it came out, I was like, yeah, he definitely did it. Just look at his face.

Yep.

But also I think what was shocking though was the depth of.

The. The evil things that he's done.

[Renee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Courtney]

And I think what has been so wild is obviously this, this stuff didn't happen overnight. And I think, think as short as this documentary is, they are trying to establish that a lot has happened, but it's happened over a long period of time. And I think what was so sad for me is despite how shocking a lot of these things were, from drugs to trafficking to abuse, to literal assassinations, allegedly.

So many of the same people stuck around long enough for them to know the full story. I mean, you're seeing from episode one, there are people explaining who Diddy was at 19 who are still explaining what he's been doing. I think he's fifth in his 50s now.

And they're explaining it like, oh, I was there when he was 19 and he did X. And I was there when he was towards that, like, reckoning off his career. And he did why? And it's like, but why were you still there then?

[Renee]

Yes, yes.

[Courtney]

Why were you still there then? So many people. Like, I remember one of the bodyguards was like, yeah, I. I never saw him hit Kim Porter, but I was standing outside the door when stuff like that was going on, and she came out, her face was red.

Okay, cool, cool, cool. I can understand that you're in a wicked and bad industry where people do wicked and bad things, but the way you're sitting here with this confessional and other people, not just the body car, but other people, it's making it seem like I've always known Diddy as a bad man. Okay, cool. And what did you do about it?

I don't understand. The com. The complicitness. The complicit nature of all of this is quite scary. There are a few people who are like, obviously not every person they've brought to interview was just a friend to Diddy. A lot of them were either victims and victims in different ways, like victims of his greed, victims of his sexual misconduct and, like, violence, stuff like that. But a lot of them were just there. They were just purveyors of this. And it's just like, why did it take this before so many people came out to say, yes, this is actually a really bad man. And even I think to see. I was. I was on $0.50 Instagram earlier today, and I saw a couple people in the comments, like, it's as wild as you are. It's nice to see an actual celebrity shining a light on what's going on, because a lot of people are acting like this is not happening. And it just made me think about how many people are happy to be adjacent to.

Evil, even as long as they keep their hand clean and there's money in their pocket. Like, I just thought to myself, how many people stayed close to Didi because, hey, I'm getting paid. I don't care that this woman was just beat up. And I. It was sad that most of the victims were women. Do you know, I mean, like, a lot in terms of musical artists, he conned over a lot of men. And his own business partner, he cheated him out of his own shares of the company, stuff like that. And I'm sure. I mean, how many people around him end up ended up Dead.

A lot of people were women. The women who. And. And hip hop has very rarely been kind to women. But that industry itself, like, for them to see so many women fall victim to violence and abuse and being used and all of that stuff, and just the people in general and not say anything because, hey, I'm paid. I've got my position. I've got access to Puff Daddy, like, that. This doesn't. It doesn't really matter to me that you're. You're going through wherever you're going through. That, to me, was like the most. The saddest part of it all, because I think it's one thing to know someone is bad, that's fine. But then when you find out how many people have enabled them and allowed them to continue to be bad and actually build a brand off being bad, right? And.

I just think to myself, were you guys happy with. Because you guys were eating, you guys were eating, you didn't care. You did not care. And that. That, to me, is really, really sad. Talk about people wanting fame, wanting power, wanting money, wanting women, all of this stuff. But I think to stay.

So close to that kind of thing and not call it out, even if calling it out comes with deep, deep consequences, I think for a lot of these people, they just didn't want to stop being paid.

They don't want to stop being paid. And that's really, really sad, really, to see how many people kind of go complicit. Yeah, you can say, well, they scared. They were scared for their life. I hear that. But they're on a 50 Cent documentary. And one thing 50 Cent has made it very clear is that man's only in jail for 50 months. Yeah.

It'S 50 months. That's about five, six years.

Or four. That's about four years. So he's coming out. So if you were that scared, would you be sat on the camera? No.

[Renee]

So there was even one of the. I don't know if you've gone to that part, but one of the jurors that was in the documentary, it's giving, baby. You're in love with this man. Like, stand up Queen.

[Courtney]

I haven't got to that part. No.

[Renee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone's. When you get to that part, just go and see the commentary on social media. Because I watched and I was like, babe, it's giving. You're just looking for your 10 minutes of fame. Like, you're not. You're not utterly appalled at the depravity of this man. And I love what you were saying. Around. I think somebody has posted in the chat the bystander effect. How? Yeah, how so many of us are willing to be bystanders when people are actively being harmed because we're profiting off of it. Like his old business partner, when he was like, oh, you know, I'm pretty sure that he had a hand to do with the deaths of like, Biggie and Park. And like, he was this despicable man, I was like, you stayed till you got fired.

[Aramco Narrator]

Who drives the world forward? The one with the answers or the one asking the right questions? At Aramco, we start every day by asking how? How can innovation help deliver reliable energy to the world? How can technology help develop new materials to reshape cities? How can collaboration help us overcome the biggest challenges? To get to the answer, we first need to ask the right question. Search Aramco Powered by How Aramco is an energy and chemicals company with oil and gas production as its primary business.

[Commercial Narrator]

Are you still running your business? With one creaky old phone system, missing calls, losing track of messages, and scrambling to keep up with your team, it's time to break up with the past and say hello to Kuo. Kuo is the number one business phone system with 4.7 stars across 3,000 reviews on G2. Quo brings all your business phone calls and texts into one app for your team. No more juggling devices or being tied to a landline. Quo's built in AI, logs calls, creates summaries, automates follow ups, and can even answer and route calls. So you never miss an opportunity. Whether you're a solo operator or leading a growing team, Quo keeps you connected and helps you deliver standout customer experiences. Join over 90,000 businesses using Quo and see why. It's the one business phone system for customer satisfaction. Level up your workflow with quo. Get started free plus get 20% off your first six [e-mail] tech. That's quo spelled q u o.com tech. And if you have existing numbers with another service, Quo will port them over for free.

[Renee]

Quo.

[Commercial Narrator]

No missed calls, no missed customers.

[Renee]

You actually stayed till you got. It wasn't even that you left. You were forcibly removed. And was it there that you remembered that this is a bad man?

[Courtney]

Yeah. Yeah. It just doesn't. It just doesn't sit well. It just doesn't sit well at all.

At all. And like.

I just feel like wicked and twisted fantasies like what he was doing with Cassie, they don't evolve out of nowhere. And I, I was reflecting on this. Like, I think that this is a An extreme, but a good example of when society lets men go too far. Like they just let them get everything they want and they allow them to go too far. And I remember when, you know, everything came out about Cassie and the video itself came out of him being physically abusing her and assaulting her in the hotel corridor. And I, I remember I didn't know at the time that it was Cassie's husband, current husband, but a man had basically posted that, like, he's happy that, you know, the truth is basically coming to light. And Diddy's not a real man. Like, real men protect women, real men. And I remember putting on my Instagram and I'd later deleted it because I realized, oh, this is Cassie's husband putting this post. But I basically put up that it's very annoying sometimes when men create a post like that or say stuff like that where it's like, oh no, this man is abuser. He's not a real man. This man is a. This, he's not a real man. And it's just like, no, he's very much a real man. A real bad man. A real bad man. Because society allows men to get away with being these types of men for a long time. And I think we, we need to be careful with the whole, like, oh no, like, this is not what a real man is 100. But what we ignore is that this is the real types of men society produces because of what they glamorize, glorify. And if we don't call people out, these are real men who have go on to have real negative effects, effects on people. And like I said, Diddy is an extreme case. But I think it makes all of us again that buy Saturn effect, it makes all of us call into question, what am I standing by and just allowing in my life, what am I allowing the men around me, the women around me, the people around me to get away with. Because it shapes the people who they become.

And I just hope more of us have, whether you have, have access to a list a listers or just your family, have more of a concern around who we are allowing the people around us to become. Like actually having a part in saying that was wrong, that was really, really wrong, this makes you a really bad person or like that was unfair or you were in the wrong in that situation. Like, if we can have the bravery to call people out in a loving, respectful way before it, hopefully we can do it before it gets too bad. And yes, it can come with consequences. People may not want to be your friend Anymore. People may not want to share things with you anymore, but that doesn't absolve you of the responsibility to give feedback which could hopefully potentially change that person to be better. Because if they. If you don't, they go on to continue to do bad things because they think it's just allowable. People allow. I know it's bad, but who's going to check me.

[Renee]

Yeah, exactly.

[Courtney]

Yeah. If we are gonna be community members, we are going to be villages. You got to do your part in making sure that people know that's not how we act, that's not how we treat people. So, yeah, yeah, those are my thoughts.

[Renee]

I love that. And sorry, I know we're beleaguering the point, but I just think there's so much. There's so much. Like, I think we could even do a whole episode just on this alone. But, Chef.

I think just in hearing what you were saying, Courtney, about, like.

Exposing the reality of men that society produces, it also made me think of how unfortunate but how necessary $0.50 voice in this has been in that thinking about the as listen, the greatest troll. But also it took a man with his level of resources for this to be taken seriously. Because I also remember when, you know, the video of Cassie was floating around even before that, when she came out with the initial charges, a lot of that information was leaked on the Internet. The lack of seriousness, the amount of memes, the amount of, oh, you know, we're still messing with P. Diddy. Like, it was shocking, to say the least, of the fact that he was still kind of getting away with it and getting away with all of the heinous crimes that he's perpetrated. Until somebody like 50 Cent, who's within the same community, he's, you know, in the hip hop, the rap industry, all that kind of stuff, decided, no, actually, I'm going to take this guy head on. And it just reminds me of how important it is for men to also take their place in these kind of conversations, especially in a space where women's stories and women's voices are often neglected or they are seen as like, you're trying to ruin this man, despite the fact that the man ruined himself. Like, some of the. Some of the way that people are treating Cassie and other kind of sexual assault survivors. I'm kind of like, it's giving you guys really hate women. And as much as, you know, 50 Cent is funny and all that kind of stuff, I do also find it very unfortunate that we're not taken and we didn't take Anybody, seriously, until somebody like him actually stood up and actually after sentencing as well. So, yeah, I think it just goes to show the importance of men also being part of the conversation, but also us paying attention to the fact that society does not value the voices of women, especially women, as victims, despite the fact that they were over. I think it was over 100 of cases that were brought towards Diddy. I was like, oh, no, not two figures, but actually three figures.

[Courtney]

Like, yeah.

A hundred.

100. It's insane. Absolutely insane. And I completely agree with you. I think more men need to hold men accountable because. And I think this is a point we were making, like, years ago on the podcast about how, unfortunately, men respect men's voices most. And so women can shout all they want, they can protest all they want, they can say all they want. And it does have effects. Effects. Don't let me. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that's ineffective. It does have effect. Women have been championing women's change the most since the beginning of time, but unfortunately, because of how patriarchy is set up, it doesn't. It takes a man sometimes stepping in for people to actually give an issue the light of day. And so that's a great way for men to actually use their privilege to advocate for women's rights. Now, I'm not. I don't think that's necessarily what 50 Cent is doing. 50 Cent is doing great for the people, but he's doing better for 50. 50 said is. I'm not. I don't think 50 Cent is reading.

[Renee]

No.

[Courtney]

You know, feminist theory.

So let's not. Let's also not, like.

Make him a saint. I also think that he's. He's been in the industry, too. He's seen some things. He's done some things. I think he's just, like you said, a professional troll, and I think he's getting his laugh out of this. But thank God that it also does good for people in general as well, especially for the victims of Sean Diddy Combs. So.

Yeah, that's my thoughts. Those are my thoughts. All right, next. Next, dilemma. I'm 30 and have never been asked out, ever. I get the whole independent woman vibe, but I'm lonely. I want babies and love. How do you navigate this dilemma? Thank you so much for sharing your dilemma, sis. Appreciate, appreciate, appreciate.

[Renee]

Yeah, I feel you. Oh, honestly, I think, first of all, this is a very normal thing. By the way, listen, back in the day in society where we're not on social media or, you know, we had to actually interact with people in community and stuff like that. It was very easy to be like our styles and stuff like that. You know, courtship. Courtship was a normal thing where people and guys used to shoot their shot. We are currently in a society where we are hyper connected and yet we are lacking in social interaction and social graces and all that kind of things. Stuff. So, sis, you are not alone. There are a. Let's get the sisterhood together. There is not unheard of to not have ever been asked out. So don't let anybody make you think that that's weird or uncomfortable or that's simply because of something that you've done. It's very easy to internalize and think, oh, there's something wrong with me. And I think I see a little bit of it in the whole, you know, I get the independent woman vibe. It's not just because you're an independent woman that people are not asking you out. Like we are at a particular juncture in history and society where genuinely, it's hard out here in the D streets. People are not speaking to each other. People are socially awkward. And circumstances can also affect your capacity to, you know, engage with others for dating, especially guys. I love the fact that you've also recognized that you have the desire that's also completely normal and something that's beautiful. Yes. Have all the babies. Yes. Have all the love like you deserve. I'm sure you are a wicked and wonderful woman. I think, think once you get past the whole, like, I'm not blaming myself and I recognize these are some of my desires, it really is about putting yourself in circumstances and places whereby, you know, romantic love can actually be piqued or, you know, like actually putting yourself out there? Some people like the online dating, but also doing things in person is really, really helpful. Sometimes your person might be somebody else's friend or brother or cousin or whatnot. Like. Like both myself and Courtney, our husbands were in our vicinity, like mutual friends or community and all that kind of stuff. And we don't typically just banter on about community because, you know, sisterhood and that, but we also banter on about community because these are the spaces through which you'd be able to build the possibility of finding your person. So I'd very much encourage you to explore your community. Like, do you have some girls even thinking about some of your girls? Like, some of your girls know some good men in there? Are they willing to, you know, set a girl up, do a couple games nights here or there? You know, do some strategic positioning in that to you know, create some of these bonds. Are there some people that are hosting birthday gatherings that you can be going to? I don't know how much you go out, sis, but I'm gonna need you to start being a little bit outside, you know what I'm saying? Putting your nice pretty dresses and stuff. Because I am sure that once you put yourself out there a little bit more, you'll create more opportunities for you to, to bump into people that you might be interested in dating or all of that kind of good stuff. So I definitely recommend try and put yourself in more places where you're actually out of your comfort zone. You're meeting more people, you're meeting friends of friends or family members of people that you know. Online dating, Listen, people have had really great success with online dating. I know that it's a bit creepy sometimes nowadays, but like your tinders, your bumbles, all that kind of stuff make those good dating profile. Like there's a lot of, for every 10 frogs there's a prince out there. And so just putting yourself out there, like, come on girl. And you are single and 30 and flirty. I need you to be like outside, okay, we gonna make those babies. We're gonna make that love. So yeah, I would say, sis, don't, don't give up on that dream or that desire just yet. You are literally in your like we talk about the 30s so much. Like we're so, we're, we're excited, we're anticipating, it's a great place to be. And I think also you're actually at a great age as well to be dating because the frontal lobe has fully connected. I'm hoping that you're probably hoping in thinking and believing that you are a self assured and confident woman. So it means that it's going to make it easier for you to really, you know, date intentionally. So yeah, that's what I would say, sis. It's an absolutely normal place to be and you are literally in your prime prime time to make them babies happen, girl. So yeah, that's what I would say but would love to hear what you have to say.

[Courtney]

That was great advice. I think it's amazing to acknowledge that you have the desire and like Renee said, put yourself, put yourself out there. But I would say even as you're doing that, do all you can. I'm sure you probably have, but I just want to reinforce, emphasize, do all you can to make your life right now also something you really enjoy. Because I think it's easy when maybe you're Getting a bit older and you acknowledge that. No, this is something that I really, really want to now kind of really lock in on that. And you zero in on it so much that you forget how beautiful your life is outside of that. I think that can make the whole journey of wanting to date, finding someone on the app, going out and trying to meet a man, like, if it's, if it doesn't happen, it can make it so frustrating. And I think I'm a strong believer in dating should be enjoyed and really enjoyable. And also the biggest preacher of you should never settle, Never settle for your partner. And so I think the best way to keep everything balanced is making sure that you really still enjoy the life that you have and being 30, hopefully the disposable income, the freedom that you have as well with, you know, working, having your own money, not having kids, not having a partner. Maximize it. Create a beautiful life for yourself that you know will only get better by God's grace, with the partner that you choose to settle down with and with the children that by God's grace you have. And so, yeah, do everything you can to still enjoy your life. Right now you, if, if loneliness is something you're dealing with, identify if it's just romantically or if in general you feel lonely, you feel alone, you feel like you don't have that many people in your life, that's also something you can work on from a platonic point of view, from a familial point of view. And so try to do that. Invest your time and your energy in that alongside looking for your romantic partner. But go on with your best self, girl, go outside, get cute, feel as confident as you are, discover more about yourself and what you enjoy and plant yourself in those places so that you find more like minded people. And hopefully when you do, you know, if marriage is something that you desire, I think you said you did. But when you do get married, when you have them kids, go invite us. We like a baby shower. We like a bridal shower. We like a wedding. We want to shake a leg. Yeah. So I hope that that helps you. I wanted to flag up. I know it's your turn to. But I really wanted to flag up this dilemma because I think it's really. Oh, I'm coming. Your face. Okay, I'll read it quickly and then I'll take it down. Really struggling with feminism and my faith in God. Also trying not to be desensitized to the world because I feel at times our faith can be insensitive to things that happen in the world unknowingly. So, yeah, I'm struggling with that.

[Renee]

Interesting. Of course, I actually think you'd be. Yeah, yeah, I was about to say, I think you'd actually be excellent in answering that because first and foremost, we've actually done an ep, a podcast episode on this. So yeah, please go and check that out for a longer and more comprehensive answer. But I definitely think that it is a difficult place to be in. We are currently in a space and a time where we are having access to so much information, so much suffering, so much, much pain, and so it can be very difficult to try and marry up the different parts of ourselves. But of course, I actually think you should answer this first because you have done a lot of study into this and I think it's actually something that you have a very measured and comprehensive approach to. So I'm. I think you should. Yeah, no, girl, I think you should take this. Go on.

[Courtney]

Thanks. Oh my gosh.

No, you're actually so funny. Funnily enough, I actually like all of my Christmas gifts that I've requested are all like feminist theology books.

I love this topic so much. And sis, I completely hear where you are coming from. Alongside our episode that we did on this, I would also recommend you listen to an episode of I Said what I Said, which is a podcast, Nigerian based.

Global hit. Like, oh, that podcast is so good and they are so funny. But they also juggled this topic recently in an episode with a feminist theologian, I believe. And I genuinely feel like that episode encompassed a lot of my thoughts and feelings as well, and hopefully can address some of yours if you haven't heard it already. But one thing that I will say is your faith can inform your feminist lens and your feminism can inform your faith outlook. And I think a lot of times these two things, faith and feminism, are painted as so incompatible that we forget that there is actually a place where there is truth in both camps. And also there can be lies in both camps in the sense that feminism doesn't always.

Pose the perfect solution to all women's issues all around the world. And when I talk about feminism, I'm talking about different.

Like, sociological facets of feminism. A lot of those schools of thoughts don't actually solve a lot of issues.

And also may not align with your desires for your life, but also within your faith. And I wouldn't even just say within your faith, within your religion and the way your religion is enacted and manifest, especially in religious communities, that may not also encompass the full truth of the Bible or the gospel. Or what God intends for us to believe about him and His Word. This doesn't mean that there aren't going to be some parts of your Bible which are hard for you to accept as a woman, because there are parts in the Bible for anyone to accept as a person is going to be challenging to us. It's going to be challenging on.

Us in general, inside, from our soul out, from our spirit out. It's going to be difficult. However, I think that God is Himself not a misogynist. That is one thing that I always ground myself in, in terms of truth. God is not a misogynist.

God created women in his image. And so there is a facet of God that is like me in nature, right? With that being said, I have, because I've resolved that God does not hate me. I love God, I love Jesus. But sometimes I can get frustrated with the way that people live out His Word and His truth and throughout the Bible. I think one thing that's very honorable is the fact that a lot of these mistakes that patriarchal figures have made, religious patriarchal figures have made, have not been etched out of the Bible. Right? They are there. One of the earliest accounts in the Bible is of rape, right? The rape of Dinah. And we see her, her brother's reaction to that rape and the fact that those people were not removed from, from God's perfect will for their life. They weren't removed from God fulfilling the promise through their lineage, but it showed, sorry, the human condition, right? The human condition of being able of doing, being capable of doing evil, but also having to stand up for some kind of justice and enacting that justice in a really bad way. The complexities are all there. So sometimes I find that religious people can want to skim over these things and skim over the fact that there are.

Real injustices that happen in the world because they forget that their own Bible addresses these kinds of injustices against women. The Bible addresses when a man is bad to his wife. The Bible addresses what should be done to a man who rapes another woman. It explains these things. Not all things that we deal with in our modern world are addressed by the Bible in specific terms, but it lays some groundworks there. And I believe through my own personal study. I think it's so important to do your own personal study of the Bible for yourself if you are a Christian. I believe that God has given enough ground in His Word and the person of Jesus Christ himself has shown enough through his actions whilst he was on Earth to display the fact that he does not hate women as much as the world seems to hate women. Therefore, a lot of what we see in religious circles as hatred towards women is mainly because a lot of people have not renewed their thinking. We often talk about that verse in Romans 12, about renewing your mind. And we talk about how you basically need to renew your mind mostly from like sexual perversion, Right? What people often leave out is you also need to renew your mind on misogyny. You need to renew your mind on that because that is inherently antichrist. To hate a, a woman or to have set up society as much as we call it patriarchy and then we say Christianity as a patriarchal religion, a lot of what we see patriarchy unfold as is actually anti God. Right? Because God is very much honoring of human beings, their decency, their dignity, their respect. Right?

And I can give you an example of this. When Jesus was in the earth, society was extremely patriarchal and misogynistic, Right. And yet he often would break a lot of rules himself and allow women to break particular rules to in order to be close to him. Because as much as society is bad towards women, Jesus does not want to be bad towards women.

[Renee]

Women, yeah.

[Courtney]

So with that being said, if we are calling ourselves followers of Christ, we have to also highlight and.

Scrutinize or critically think about the parts of our society which are anti women and realize that if Jesus was living now, would he not break these societal rules, societal norms, in order to be close to women, the people he created. Right. Therefore, if I want to be a follower of Christ, then I need to realize that a lot of what society has taught me about how I treat women, how I think about women, how I treat girls, how I think about girls and what they have rights to and access to is inherently wrong. Like, it's not something that Christ would co sign. Therefore it is Antichrist Christ. Right? So I need to renew my mind on that and leave that behind. So I think if a lot of people were more interrogative of the way they thought about women, now that they're in Christ and they need to adopt Christ's mind, they would realize that they are more aligned with traditional fundamental feminism. Not what it's become on social media, not what extremists make it, not what radical feminists make it. Not that these people are bad, everyone has their school of thought and it stems from somewhere, but they would realize that they're more aligned with that, the dignity, decency and humanity of women and therefore their need for equality and equity in the world than they actually believe that they are. Because a lot of what religious people think is, oh, feminism is inherently anti God. No, it's. It's not. It's for what Christ established in Genesis 2, where he made women and men together at the same time in his image. That's what it stands for.

So all that to say, when you adopt that outlook, you start to realize that your frustration is often with cultural Christianity than it is necessarily just with God himself. And I think that helps you to keep. It helped. I don't know if it will help everyone, but it helped me to keep my relationship with God while still at times being frustrated with God's people. Does that make sense? Like I have resolved in my head that God my father, does not hate me as a woman and does not agree or co. Sign with bad treatment towards me as a woman, as a just and fair God. If someone does something towards me, a person that was created in his image and in his likeness, he's gonna have something to say about that that has helped me to keep my relationship with him intact. And that's essentially what faith is. Your relation, your personal relationship and conviction about who Jesus is, who God is. And then you work out from there.

That's the foundation of your salvation. You work out from there. Your relationship with his church, your relationship with. Sometimes the way the word is is taught. Again, that does not take away that the. The Word can have some things that challenge you. I was watching a video yesterday of someone saying who they're a Christian, but that wife submit to your husband. They wrestle with it on a daily. Yeah, Understand, right. You can wrestle with your relationship with the Scripture, the relationship with how.

Cultural Christianity implements those scriptures, all of that is fine. But as long as the fundamental is intact, my relationship with God and my view of him and his view of.

[Renee]

Me.

[Courtney]

It'S okay to do the wrestling. Do you get what I mean? It's actually okay to do the wrestling. I think what can be tough is the cultural Christianity, how other people implement the Bible and our own struggle to really understand the Scripture. The context and where God is coming from interferes with how we see God and therefore our ability to actually have a relationship with him. And so I think the first thing you need to do, like I said, is grapple with the Bible for yourself. Read it yourself. Not through the lens of what people have taught you, not through the world of what the church does, not through the lens of what your family does because they're Christians. Not through the lens of, oh, this church. Auntie told me my skirt is Too short and I look like a prostitute. Not through that lens, but through the lens of who is God and what is his word telling me about who he is. Also, when I read the New Testament, the Bible tells us that Jesus is the manifestation of the Godhead bodily. He is God in body form. So if I want to see an example of who Jesus is, I need to read the account of Jesus and how he walked through the earth. Once I do that study of reading about Jesus through the.

The Gospels and some of Paul's letters. Sorry, I've been going on for a really long time, but I'm very.

Once I do that personal study of reading about who Jesus is through the accounts in the Gospel, Gospel and some of Paul's letters, I should get a grasp that Jesus is not the person I have beef with and therefore I can proceed from there. Do you get what I mean? So I would say find a place where you can have a strong relationship with God and Jesus and accept the person he is, even with the challenges, and then move through the difficulties you then have with church, with religion, with society. But all of those things are not God himself. Right. When, when the trumpet sounds, you are going to be reconciled with God himself, right?

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Yes. On earth, you have to be a part of his bride. Therefore you need to work through some of the challenges. But it's okay to be a person who calls out the misogyny because a lot of people are not renewing their mind, mind in the area of misogyny. They're not like. And that's, that's one of the biggest things that frustrates me. People will come into Christ and think the only thing you need to repent of is sexual immorality. You also need to repent of your hatred, of your internalized thoughts that you have towards people, which is why you can call yourself a Christian, but you still think it's okay to beat your wife, or you still think it's okay to not send your daughter to school, but your son can go and further his life, but your, your daughter is just made for marriage, that's misogyny. And you don't think that's a sin. But to look at somebody who God's created and think they deserve a lesser life, or they deserve less respect, or they deserve less safety or less resources, or for their actual destiny to be held back by the fact that you just think they're a woman, they don't deserve anything. That's also a sin.

So once we start renewing ourselves on that.

We should be okay, so the beef isn't with Jesus at the end of the day. That's it. The beef is oftentimes with people.

[Renee]

His. His alleged representative, his people.

[Courtney]

His people, his people. And we all do bad on that sometimes, right?

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

But.

When we separate the two, to some degree.

It makes the tension easier to hold, in my opinion, because I know I'm not. Because sometimes you feel like in order to be a feminist, I need to leave my faith. And some feminists also make you feel like that in order to be a feminist, you can't be a Christian.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Right. But you can. You can have a personal relationship with Jesus and still hold strong passion and questions around how women are treated in society. Yeah.

[Renee]

Minister, we need to, like, show you out to, like, predominantly male communities, especially the ones that have been infiltrated by the Andrew Tates of the world and the various other.

Patriarchal. Slash misogynist. Because I think the word that you use there that's very important is misogynist. Patriarchal doesn't necessarily mean misogynist, but I think sometimes we conflate the two, especially in popular society. So I ain't gonna add to that answer, Corny. I'm gonna. I'm gonna be honest with you. I think literally the only thing I would say, just to come back to the point that SIS made about, like.

Emotional burnout, desensitization, all of that kind of good stuff. Stuff. First of all, that's very, very normal. We live in a world and that we are constantly being beleaguered with all of these messages and images and ads and all of these kind of things of pain and people suffering. We were never meant to have access to this amount of information ever. Like, I think I can't remember the name of the book. If I find it out, I'll share it on, like, a. The newsletter or something. But it's all about information overload and processing and how we are now being fed information that. That far outstrips our capacity to process. And so numbness or desensitization is a protective mechanism from our brain to stop us from basically going a little bit loopy, a little bit nuts from the fact that there's just too much going on right now and we don't have the capacity for everything. And so it's very normal. But it also means that we're operating in survival mode. And I think that as much as, you know, consumption is good, over consumption in any way, shape or form is very, very bad for you. And it can lead to burnout, fatigue, tiredness, all of these kind of things. So the first thing that I would say is rest. Our faith encourages rest for a reason. And it's not just rest from the physical stuff, but actually the emotional weightiness that comes from consuming such darkness on a daily basis. We need to make sure that we find time and space to connect with God, to connect with ourselves outside of all of the. The noise. If we're constantly in a place of noise and we're constantly just allowing ourselves to be fed from the media, from wherever we're getting our information from, we'll never really have time to digest and chew efficiently so that we can actually process things. So it's very important that we actually take rest. Like it's actually okay for you to take some time out from watching the news, to take some time to actually process and digest things, have dedicated and allocated times for you to take in information. And I think very similarly to what you were saying, Courtney, about having that personal relationship. Ultimately it comes to our personal relationship with Jesus. It comes to personal relationship with God to be able to process, to think, to have time to understand what our image response is to this. So it's perfectly normal to feel almost numb, especially when it feels like everything everywhere is happening all at once. And I think it's also not to feel like you have personal responsibility over every single thing that is happening. It is not within our capacity to solve all of these problems. Having said that, though, I do think that as Christians, as believers, as people that are trying to strive to be moral and just, we should always be striving to be empathetic, to manifest the fruits of the Spirit, to ensure that we are doing our bit practically to help the people that are at least around us. So sometimes the numbness and the desensitization can come from the fact that we're not actually doing anything in our lives to really walk out the Christian walk. So what are the ways that we can be more empathetic, practically? If we see somebody in pain or we see a cause that we really care about, are we really putting our money where our mouth is? Are we really doing and putting our lives on the line for people that, that are ultimately made in God's image and people that we are ultimately called to love? So my, my, my two cents to that is make sure that you're resting. Make sure that you're being intentional about what you're consuming, making sure that you have space and time to really abide and continue to develop that personal relationship with Jesus. But then I also charge you to actually Live up the Christian walk and do something about maybe something that you hear or something that you find has stirred you. Like what? Like it doesn't even have to be a big, you know, setting up some kind of page or platform or whatnot, but actively doing something to support some, you know, support somebody or something that has moved you. Because that in of itself is a great way to stay connected to the humanity of the people that are all around you, that are in pain and suffering. Pain and suffering, unfortunately, is an integral part of not just the Christian walk, but actually life. That's something that we can't escape. And so it's very important that we. We remain keyed into the pain and suffering of not just ourselves, but actually other people. And we have that emotional response and that compassion, heaven forbid, to a place where we are suffering from compassion fatigue. We need to ensure that where we are moving so far and fast away from the light, that we are the light. And in order to do that, we need to be compassionate people, we need to care for people, and we need to practically do something, even if it's a small thing, to show that the love of God is actually present within us. So maybe girl, rest. But once you finish rest, it's actually time for us to do something. We. We've got to get moving. So. Yeah, just so good.

[Courtney]

That's so good. That's so good. Oh, wow. What a topic.

[Renee]

It's gonna range, though. We went from. What were we even speaking about first? We've. We've gone from talking about Diddy Diddler Diddy to.

[Courtney]

First. Yeah, that's the Queens of Range. Queens of Rage. But range. But yeah, if you.

I would say as well with the faith and feminism thing. Lastly, for me, if you genuinely have a question about something, also research it.

[Renee]

Research it.

[Courtney]

Like, I think sometimes we can have a problem with something valid, but then we don't actually want to do the research into it to resolve our question. And sometimes it's because we're scared of the answer that we'll find. And also sometimes it's because we're. We would rather hold on to the frustration. But I think genuinely being curious curiosity is best paired with research like find the answer. If you have a question, find the answer. Answer. So, yeah, yeah, yeah. What episode did you. Listen.

Let me find the I said what I said interview episode. Sorry, it's called. I think it. It's called can you be a Christian and a feminist or something? It's with feminism. If you just search. I said what I said feminism. Yeah, the Reality of faith versus feminism as a woman featuring Blessing or Maku. That's on the I said what I said podcast, on YouTube, on Spotify.

[Renee]

Lush, lush, Lush.

[Courtney]

Do you want to pick the last.

[Renee]

Dilemma?

[Courtney]

Yeah. Or question.

[Renee]

Yes. Okay. Oh, there's quite a few. Oh, this is tricky. Sorry, ladies. Not there being quite a few in there. Okay, wait, I think this one, which is.

Oh, no, I saw one that I really wanted to answer. Give me two seconds. Yes. TMS is friendship breakup. Is there coming back from it? Especially if the other party is pushing for a reconciliation, but my heart is not in it. How do I go about telling them.

[Courtney]

Oh.

Well, damn, you want to go.

[Renee]

Well, if your heart not in it, and girl, desert. You know what I'm saying? I think friendship breakups, obviously, there's not too much.

Context here. I think there is comebacks from friendship breakups depending on the willingness of both parties to do the work work. Much like any breakup or any kind of relational breakdown, the. The real test of faith or the real capacity to build again is when you have two people that are pulling the weight. And right now it sounds like, sis, you're not in the right headspace to be thinking about friendship, you know, reconciliation or whatnot. And that's actually perfectly okay. I think sometimes when we are, you know, depending on if it's been a traumatic breakup or depending on what we've been through, it can feel as though you can almost feel bad for feeling that type of way, if that makes sense. It's like, I don't want to continue. I don't want to come back from this, but I almost feel bad because the other party really wants to reconcile. Your emotions are valid, and I think it's perfectly okay to say, hey, sis, I obviously, I love and care for you so much, but at this point in time, I don't think I'm ready to pursue a friendship reconciliation and just be being honest. I think that is. People really appreciate honesty. And I think the older I get, the more I. You just got to be honest because you're giving yourself time. But also you would be being. You'd be coming clean to your friend, ex friend, that this is not a process, that you're ready. You're not, you know, that you're ready for at this particular time. And it's important for you to stay true to your values, especially because heaven forbid you get into a reconciliation process. Your heart is not in it, but their heart is in it. You're just gonna end up in Friendship breakup part two. So I think Just be honest from the bat and do it, obviously, in a way that is as loving as possible. But, you know, say, hey, I'm not ready to reopen or rehash things just yet. And then I think you separately need to go on the journey and understand whether this is actually something you want to reconcile in the long term. Because I think if it's either you don't want to reconcile at all, to which you can kind of say, sis, I love you, but this is. This is where I'm at, and I don't know when I'm going to get out of this. We may have to stay at this particular point in our relationship, and that's fine. Or it may be a. You actually need a little bit more time to process and then having the conversation a little bit later. Either way, I think separately and independently, have a think about where you're currently at with this particular friendship breakup, whether you think this is something that you want to heal from, whether you think that it's salvageable and whether you're actually genuinely interested in having a friendship with this person later down the line. And then that will give you clarity and help inform the way that you then approach this friend, especially as somebody who is quite interested in reconciliation. But don't feel pressured just because the other person wants to be friends or wants to, you know, hash things out. Take your time, be as loving as possible, and be as, you know, compassionate as possible. But ultimately, you also need to be true to yourself and the other person just to avoid any miscommunication, any further heartbreak, but also to ensure that both of you are living as authentically and vulnerably as possible. So, yeah, that's what I would say.

[Courtney]

Courts back, I agree with you.

[Renee]

What you gotta say, I ain't got nothing to add.

[Courtney]

I think what you said, said there, that's key, is honesty. Just be honest about where you're at.

And just.

Also take time to process it if you need it. But once you've processed it, then be honest about where you're at. And like Renee said, let them know, like, I'm just gonna need a little bit of time. And that's. That's pretty much it. I've had certain people in my life who've told me they need time, and then they come back and they're like, okay, okay, you know, can we have a conversation? And, yeah, you. You can get that. You can be afforded that. So, yeah, I agree with you. I don't think I have much to add at all.

There was another dilemma That I actually wanted to answer because I thought that should be really quite interesting, but it's like, I've lost it, so give me two seconds. Ah, found it. Hey, ladies. My partner and I had a missile misunderstanding recently, and he blocked me on Instagram, saying it was for him and he needed space. I'm not sure how to move forward. Any advice on what to do? Thank you so much. This also, your profile picture is real cute.

[Renee]

Oh, my gosh, you're absolutely gorgeous. Why is your man blocking you on Instagram? That's a bit.

[Courtney]

That's the big question here. I'm not.

[Renee]

Yeah, there's no. All of this moving forward. First of all, pause. Why are you blocking me on Instagram? What? You got hired on Instagram that you're blocking me. Me from there? That you need space. And that is for you. What. What?

[Courtney]

A block is very serious. Now, the real crux of the matter is what did. What happened? Cause, sister, like you said, like, we've been talking about women's rights. Women also.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

So if you. If the misunderstanding was actually something grievous, that warrants a block. Sis, you got to take the L. Let that man unblock you when he's fine and ready. But if genuinely, you know, and I'm sure if you're submitting this dilemma, unless you're actually mad, I'm sure, you know, it wasn't that big of a deal. And so the. The blocking has shocked you.

That is extreme. Very extreme for someone to block you on Instagram. Now, has he blocked you on other forms of communication? Because if it's that. That, like, he's blocked your number and stuff, too, then I would say once you guys. Once he decides he wants to start talking to you again, you need to have a very serious conversation about conflict resolution.

[Renee]

Yes.

[Courtney]

How you guys navigate that. Because I. Somebody completely icing you out like that is so frustrating, but also so unproductive when it comes to being in a partnership and needing to resolve something. Something. Or needing to communicate with one another because conflicts are going to happen, misunderstandings are going to happen.

Why are you going to block me from being able to talk to you? Especially if you noticed our main way of communication now, if you're. What if your partner. Or. Yeah, if your partner blocks you on Instagram and that was your only form of communication with him? I don't know how to break it to you. That that's not your boyfriend.

Boyfriend on Instagram. Let's be serious. No, your partner.

[Renee]

That.

[Courtney]

Yeah. That man has a family and he doesn't want you to see. He just got married and he doesn't want you to see that.

[Renee]

Goodbye. Not. Not the second family. But also Instagram is specific and Exactly.

[Courtney]

If you are my partner.

And you blocked me on Instagram because you had a misunderstanding, my mind is immediately going to. You just had your traditional wedding and you don't want me to see.

[Renee]

Stop.

[Courtney]

You just had your wedding and you don't want me to see people. Your. Your repost to your story and your feed because what.

Yeah, that'll do it. That's what I'm gathering from that. So a real conversation needs to be had.

But yeah, I think you gotta wait out. Let him come back to you. If he does great. Talk about the communication thing. If he doesn't. Do you want to be with somebody who resolves conflict in this way?

[Renee]

That's crazy. Blocking is very extreme. Blocking is.

[Courtney]

I think it's very low. Like a block is very, very low. Blow energy for no reason. For no reason. So, yeah, that's. Since I don't. I don't really know what to tell you apart from that man. It's either hiding something or you need to tell him. That's not how we're going to communicate next time we have a misunderstanding.

[Renee]

Big problem.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

Oh, sorry deary.

[Courtney]

Sauce babes. Sauce babes. But yeah, I mean, in the meantime, assess your. I guess assess your part in the situation, learn from it, forgive yourself and go out and shake a leg. Because it's not. I don't think that anyone should keep you think. Like keep you up at night thinking, why have you blocked me? Me? And on ig, there's no sight.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

There's no sign of when they're going to unblock you. It's just unnecessary headache. And don't let a man cause you unnecessary headache. Trust me.

[Renee]

Never, never, never.

[Courtney]

Yeah, go and put on a nice lipstick and go move and move on with your day.

[Renee]

Put on your nice lipstick.

[Courtney]

Yeah, put on a nice lipstick. I go outside, go and get a bubble bubble tea or something. I don't know. Oh yeah. Hello. But yeah, sisters, it's actually been nice doing a live stream. Let us know if you liked it, if you enjoyed hearing us live, getting us to answer your dilemmas live and digging into topics as well on the live stream. If you do enjoy it, then we might make this a more regular occurrence. Why not?

Why not? Why not? The bigger question here is how are the audio girlies going to get a hold of this? But we'll cross that bridge.

[Renee]

We'll we'll figure that one out when we figure that one out. Yeah, facts.

[Courtney]

But yeah girly, we love you. Lol. Sorry for them. Follow us on Instagram at To My Sisterhood and on all socials across everywhere at to my sisterhood. 2026 is set to be a bigger and better year for us. This year was full of so many big personal milestones, but that has meant like the podcast. We haven't been giving you as much vim as we usually have. And I'm careful not to say that we haven't been giving you as much vim as we could have because we genuinely could not because of how stretching this year has has been. But we want to give you more and TMS deserves more. So we can't wait to give you more in 2026. Tell us in the comment of this episode what you would like to see from TMS in 2026 so that we can get working on that. And yeah, if you follow us on socials, you'll also be able to get your say on that. So follow us everywhere at To My Sisterhood. You can also can also follow us individually. You can follow my bestie at Renee Kapuku. Still.

[Renee]

That's.

[Courtney]

Yes, that's it. And at CD Boating. Still.

[Renee]

Still.

[Courtney]

Still.

[Renee]

Yeah. And listen ladies, if you want to stay abreast of everything that is going to be happening in 2026 and beyond, make sure you are signed up to our mailing list. You can sign up up [e-mail] and of course you can submit your dilemmas to us over on the website as well. So if you do want to be featured on a regular schmegular episode or you want us to, you know, continue with the answering of these dilemmas, please feel free to submit it over at www.tomy sisters.com. ladies, it's been live and direct at TMS. It's been real. We really enjoy enjoyed this. Please share this live stream as well with another sister that you think that this would benefit from. Share the Sisterhood. Let's get some new sisters in for 2026. But ladies, we love you. We pray you have a phenomenal rest of your week and as always, keep going and growing.

[Courtney]

Bye bye.

[Aramco Narrator]

Who drives the world forward? The one with the answers or the one asking the right questions? At Aramco, we start every day by asking how? How can innovation help deliver reliable energy to the world? How can technology help develop new materials to reshape cities? How can collaboration help us overcome the biggest challenges to get to the answer, we first need to ask the right question. Search Aramco Powered by How Aramco is an energy and chemicals company with oil and gas production as its primary business.