To My Sisters Podcast Summary
Episode: "Healing The Girl Within: Finding Yourself After Being There For Everyone Else" ft. Mpoomy Ledwaba
Hosts: Courtney Daniella Boateng & Renée Kapuku
Guest: Mpoomy Ledwaba
Date: August 24, 2025
Episode Overview
In this heartfelt episode, Courtney and Renée are joined by Mpoomy Ledwaba (host of Wisdom & Wellness) for an intimate and insightful conversation about "reclaiming the season of you." The discussion explores themes of eldest daughter/parentification syndrome, navigating adulthood, forgiveness, and rediscovering the joy and freedom of girlhood after years of shouldering responsibilities for others. The hosts and guest offer guidance on healing, setting boundaries, embracing forgiveness, and trusting in God to rediscover one’s self beyond societal and familial expectations.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Eldest Daughter & False Responsibility
(03:01-10:27)
- Many women, especially eldest daughters, take on adult roles and excessive responsibility from a young age, often leading to struggles with identity, validation, and overachievement.
"The last time I felt like I was a child was when I was 10 years old...after we left that house, everything changed for me. And I don't think it's that our parents were trying to do that...it's something that's always there. I have to remind myself that: your value and your worth is not based on what you do."
— Mpoomy, (04:00)
- The hosts share their own unique family stories and dynamics, illustrating the complex mix of being unseen, overly responsible, or thrust into parent-like roles as children.
"I really do feel like that was my struggle...trying to find my validation in the work because it's something outside of myself that I can point to and kind of say, look, I'm valuable."
— Renée, (06:18)
2. The Weight of Forgiveness: Family, Siblings, and Self-Liberation
(13:50-22:51)
- The conversation pivots to the necessity of forgiveness, especially towards family members who unintentionally (or intentionally) inflicted trauma, often without the language or awareness to call it such.
“Forgiveness really is more about you than the other person...it holds you hostage. Because forgiveness can be hard when the other person is unrepentant.”
— Renée, (18:17)
- The act of forgiveness is discussed not as an excuse for others’ actions, but as a step towards freeing oneself from the burden, bitterness, and resentment that can block self-discovery and joy.
"You have to let go of people because they're holding you hostage. And it's only somebody that's free that can claim things. Prisoners cannot."
— Renée, (21:35)
3. Empathy, Humanizing Our Parents, & Breaking Perfectionism
(18:50-22:51)
- A significant insight is the need to humanize parents/caregivers, recognizing their limitations and life challenges rather than holding onto the expectation of perfection or waiting endlessly for apologies.
“I adore my parents...humanizing my parents has really helped me...even when they're wilding, I understand why you're wilding. Because there were wild ones that came before you.”
— Courtney, (19:10)
4. From Pain to Purpose: Finding Meaning in Our Experiences
(23:53-39:10)
- The hosts and Mpoomy discuss how pain, trauma, and the hardships of being “the strong one” can be transformed into purpose and used for the betterment of others.
“There's something God can do with this trauma...forgiveness is what unlocks one door and unlocks the next, right? It unlocks you...it also opens the door of purpose.”
— Courtney, (25:15)
- Emphasis is placed on not glamorizing suffering, but rather letting God turn pain into glory and using our healed selves to uplift others.
5. Purpose vs. Assignment: The Trap of Big ‘P’ Purpose
(27:07-39:10)
- Powerful critique of society’s obsession with "finding your purpose," resulting in comparison and paralysis, rather than focusing on daily assignments and serving where you are.
“Are you actually paying attention? Are you listening? What are the things you’re actually good at? Everyone here is good at something. And what are you doing to steward the things that you’re good at?”
— Renée, (31:24)
“We are a generation that's so obsessed with purpose that we miss our assignment...God, what is my assignment for this season?”
— Courtney, (35:16)
- Being present and serving in your current context often leads organically to your next step, rather than chasing grandiose, Instagrammable versions of purpose.
6. Reclaiming Girlhood and Healing the Inner Child
(42:46-58:45)
- The dialogue turns to the popular theme of “reclaiming your girlhood”—rediscovering what it's like to be a child, to play, to have needs, and to let others support you.
"I think a lot of us are getting back in touch with our needs. I actually need my friends to affirm me...And admitting that, because a lot of what we've gone through has made us very hyper independent."
— Courtney, (44:03)
- The struggle and awkwardness of play as adult women, especially mothers, is shared humorously and poignantly.
"For me, it's learning to play. I don't know how to play...my play is scheduled"
— Mpoomy, (48:02)
- Allowing oneself to make mistakes, look silly, and release the need for perfection is identified as crucial steps toward inner freedom and breaking cycles for the next generation.
"There's so much fun on the other side of shame. There's so much fun on the other side of the prospect of embarrassment. There's so much learning to be had.”
— Renée, (56:06)
7. Biblical Foundations: Responsibility, Trust, and Christ as Redeemer
(58:45-67:20)
- Thought-provoking reflection on how, from Eve's story, many girls/women have internalized blame and responsibility, stemming from not being adequately shielded.
“Many of us may have experienced...a parental failure, but then the blame has been placed on us as to why a parent or a caregiver has failed in that particular respect.”
— Renée, (61:31)
- Trust is key: Christ (the “second Adam”) is painted as the ultimate redeemer, gentle and lowly, willing to bear the yoke so we can reclaim the freedom of being “just a girl”, free from self-imposed or external bondage.
"Our girlhood can only be reclaimed through Christ...We don’t get to stay in bondage. Because then the work on the cross was in vain.”
— Mpoomy, (64:19)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On Perfectionism and Responsibility
"I have to remind myself that your value and your worth is not based on what you do."
– Mpoomy, (05:19) -
On the Need for Forgiveness
"Forgiveness is more about you than the other person. It holds you hostage."
– Renée, (18:17) -
On Trusting God Instead of Self-Sufficiency
"It takes trust in God to allow him to be your Father and you just be a Girl."
– Courtney, (67:20) -
On Reclaiming Playfulness
"My play is scheduled...I don't know how to play. And for me, we played PlayStation the other day and I was the loser because I don't know how to play."
– Mpoomy, (48:05)
Q&A Highlights
Q: How do you forgive people you don’t like, or who hurt you knowingly?
(68:14-76:21)
- Forgiveness and reconciliation are different; we’re called to forgive for our own freedom, but reconciliation requires repentance and boundaries.
- You can forgive and set boundaries, especially when reconciliation isn't possible.
“You can forgive without receiving an apology. God forgave us without us ever saying sorry...There is a way to relinquish people...so that you can maintain your Christlike character.”
– Courtney, (69:32)
Q: How can a last-born support and hold space for an older sister?
(76:47-83:24)
- Be curious about them as a person, not just a performer.
- Offer specific support or acts of service, even small ones, and check in deeply and regularly.
“Seeing my younger sister recognize...seeing me, and actually seeing me—not just the mask that I wear. She humanizes me.”
– Renée, (78:07)
Timestamps of Important Segments
- 03:01 – Diving into eldest daughter syndrome and forced maturity
- 13:50 – Introduction of forgiveness as the foundation for self-reclamation
- 18:17 – On unforgiveness holding us "hostage"
- 23:53 – Turning pain into purpose
- 27:07 – Purpose as stewardship, not platform
- 35:16 – Assignment-in-the-season vs. purpose obsession
- 44:03 – Learning to need, to ask, and be interdependent
- 48:02 – The difficulty of learning to play as an adult
- 56:06 – The freedom on the other side of embarrassment
- 61:31 – The biblical framework for women as scapegoats
- 67:20 – Trusting God to simply be "just a girl"
- 68:14 – Forgiveness Q&A
- 76:47 – Supporting older sisters Q&A
Closing Notes
This episode offers a deeply resonant, faith-informed roadmap for women looking to heal their inner child, release false responsibility, forgive, and reclaim the freedom and joy of being “just a girl.” With a foundation of empathy, spiritual surrender, and practical advice, it offers encouragement for reclaiming your season—not through striving, but through healing, honest connection, and freeing yourself for what (and who) truly matters.
Signature closing:
"As always, keep glowing and growing!"