How to Balance Enjoying Your 20's With Being Financially Responsible

Summary

Podcast Summary: To My Sisters

Episode: How to Balance Enjoying Your 20's With Being Financially Responsible
Hosts: Courtney Daniella Boateng & Renée Kapuku
Date: November 30, 2025

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Overview

In this episode, Courtney and Renée discuss one of the most relatable dilemmas for twenty-somethings: how to enjoy the prime of your youth while still being responsible with your finances. Both women candidly share their personal journeys, cultural backgrounds, and money mindsets, offering practical tips, honest reflections, and a touch of humor. The episode emphasizes intentionality, strategy, and giving oneself permission to find joy—not just save for a rainy day.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener Dilemma: Should Strong Women Compromise to “Win” at Dating?

(03:28–17:00)

• Synopsis: A listener asks if she has to “dumb herself down” or be less committed to her faith in order to be chosen by men who seem to prefer less “strong” women.
• Renée’s Response:
  • Cautions against judging the spiritual maturity of others.
  • “You definitely wouldn’t need to like, dumb yourself down or act or behave in a way to attract a man. Point blank, period.” (09:55)
  • Encourages self-reflection on whether the desire for marriage is conflicting with spiritual integrity.
• Courtney’s Response:
  • Critiques societal norms that pit women against each other for men’s approval.
  • “Are you these things because you think that’s what is the key to getting a man? ... If that is the case, then you are these things not because you want to be, but because you’ve centered men in your life.” (13:32)
  • Advises authenticity: be who you are, not who you think men want.

2. Financial Responsibility vs. Enjoyment: Childhood Lessons and Money Mindset

(18:08–31:14)

• Renée’s Background:

  • Grew up as a first-generation migrant in the UK, learning frugality and independence.
  • “I was tight fisted with money. Like I would save and save and save... I didn’t actually like spending money.” (20:00)
  • Generosity was also modeled by her parents, sometimes at personal cost.
  • The need for security led to viewing saving almost as an idol.

• Courtney’s Background:

  • Saw her mother embody a balance: “life is to be enjoyed but also you need to cut your coat according to your size.” (31:00)
  • Took care of financial responsibilities, with the rest going to enjoyment.
  • Recognizes past overconsumption — “I was spending money on things that I cannot explain now.” (35:09)

3. Breaking Out of Extremes: Experiencing Both Joy and Responsibility

(26:00–30:38)

• Renée learns: Exposure therapy helps in learning to spend on oneself and find joy.

  • “I had created my own indefinite winter as opposed to experiencing summer... it’s been so liberating.” (26:00–26:42)
  • Acknowledges that both extremes—tight-fisted saving and freewheeling spending—are unhealthy: “Any extreme is an idol... your savings will not save you.” (28:50)

• Courtney’s Shift:

  • Prioritizes what actually matters and strategically saves for it.
  • Emphasizes knowing your “North Star”—“Decide what a financial future looks like for you. That financial amount is enough to give you the future you actually want.” (37:29)

4. Practical Strategies for Your 20s

(37:29–55:48)

• Know your goals:

  • Set a realistic vision for your future—both financial and happiness goals.
  • “What does a happy life look like? And then how do I actually afford it?” (39:20)

• Purpose-driven saving:

  • Assign meaning to each savings goal—travel, home, fun, etc.
  • “Enjoyment is a purpose. You can allocate a budget to enjoying your life.” (41:13)

• Strategic earning and upskilling:

  • Focus not only on saving but on increasing earning potential.
  • “Can I upskill enough to make more than I actually am making now so that I can have more wiggle room in life?” (39:50)

• Side hustles and investments:

  • Get creative with side hustles.
  • Leverage investment tools (stocks, ISAs, high-interest accounts), as discussed with past guest Bola Sol.
  • “Investing is a very big thing... the skills that you actually pick up from your 9 to 5 will... help you to upskill in your work but also do things outside.” (45:36)

• Budgeting for Joy:

  • Deliberately assign funds for things that bring personal happiness (e.g., pistachio lattes, travel, beauty).
  • Be intentional so joy isn’t an afterthought: “Allocate the money, not just frivolously spend the money.” (41:13)

• Curate your own tastes:

  • Spend in alignment with personal values, not trends or peer pressure.
  • “Curate your personality, because that dictates your spending.” (49:06)

• Leverage your youth and network:

  • Identify and ethically use every advantage (age, education, parents, networks, location) to advance toward your goals.
  • “Leverage if you can your parents… if your parents can help you buy a property, if your parents can help you go and further your education, why not? Leverage your parents whilst they're still around.” (57:44)
  • “In your 20s, I would say it’s not just about saving... it’s also: can I upskill enough to make more than I actually am making now so that I can have more wiggle room in life?” (39:50)

• Give Generously:

  • Purposeful generosity to community, family, and friends as a source of joy.
  • “Think about other things outside of yourself that are purposeful ways that you can use your money... what are the ways that you can actually invest in your community around you?” (52:38)

5. The Importance of Balance, Integrity, and Saying No to Pressure

(55:48–61:16)

• Balance is Key:

  • Avoid the trap of thinking enjoyment must wait until later, or that saving is the only virtue.
  • “My joy is actually important and my joy is also important to God as well.” (29:44)

• Ethical Considerations:

  • Reject shortcuts or illegal means; only leverage advantages ethically.
  • “If you identify something in your life which you can ethically leverage, ethically leverage it.” (60:05)
  • “Illegal activities. Yeah. He said, no, don't do that.” (60:25)

• Reject Social Comparison:

  • Don’t base your enjoyment (or your saving) on what others say is important.
  • “You have to be intentional with your likes and dislikes because then you can predict, okay, this is something that's actually important to me.” (48:49)

• Lean Into Generosity, But Set Boundaries:

  • Support others where you can, but don’t overextend yourself (e.g., “black tax”).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I was tight fisted with money. Like I would save and save and save... I didn’t actually like spending money.”
  – Renee (20:00)

• “Your savings will not save you. Jesus will save you, but your savings actually will not save you.”
  – Renee (28:50)

• “I was spending money on things that I cannot explain now.”
  – Courtney (35:09)

• "If that is the case, then you are these things not because you want to be, but because you've centered men in your life."
  – Courtney (13:32)

• “Enjoyment is a purpose. You can allocate a budget to enjoying your life.”
  – Courtney (41:13)

• “Curate your personality, because that dictates your spending.”
  – Renee (49:06)

• “If you can be in your 20s, no matter what anyone says, if you identify something in your life which you can ethically leverage, ethically leverage it.”
  – Courtney (60:05)

• “Illegal activities... he said, no, don’t do that.”
  – Renee (60:25)

• Courtney on house deposit savings dip:
  “I look at that and I see 17p... is when you see the zero point, and then 17 was… and the Barclays, they make the 17 small. Them zeros are large.” (42:42)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:32 – Introduction of main topic
• 03:28–17:00 – Dilemma segment: Pressure to “dumb down” for relationships
• 18:08–31:14 – Hosts’ money mindsets, childhood influences, and lessons
• 26:00–30:38 – Transition from tight-fisted saving to balanced enjoyment
• 37:29–55:48 – Practical strategies and advice for 20-somethings: earning, saving with purpose, and budgeting for joy
• 55:48–61:16 – The importance of balance, ethical leverage, and generosity

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Advice to Younger Sisters

• Balance is a strategy: Define your goals for both the future and for happiness—then plan backward.
• Know your why: Be intentional with both spending and saving; understand your personal values.
• Leverage ethically: Make the most of youth, opportunities, family, education, and networks, but never through shortcuts.
• Enjoy life: Give yourself permission to experience joy without guilt—but within your means.
• Invest in community: Generosity brings fulfillment; invest in purposeful giving.
• Stay true to yourself: Don’t fall for social comparison, trends, or pressure; develop your own taste and priorities.

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Final Message:
“Your joy is actually important and your joy is also important to God as well.”
Be strategic, be kind to yourself, and remember: you’re laying the foundation for not just your 20s, but for the decades to come.

As always, keep glowing and growing!

Transcript

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[Courtney]

How to strike the balance between enjoying your 20s and being financially responsible My.

[Renee]

Capacity to save became an idol to me.

[Courtney]

I've taken care of my responsibilities. The rest is for enjoyment. Enjoyment.

[Renee]

We outside today budgeting for enjoyment. I have a pistachio latte fund.

[Courtney]

I was spending money on things, things that I cannot explain.

[Renee]

Now you're actually just a consumer for consuming sake.

[Courtney]

I personally feel like that's so irresponsible. Jail There is no unless you are Beyonce Knowles Carter, why are you spending these astronomical abouts?

[Renee]

Think about other things outside of yourself that are purposeful ways that you can use your money.

[Courtney]

Your age is something that you can.

[Renee]

Leverage your young, hip and fly illegal activities. Yeah, he said no. Maybe if I dibble dabble, it will.

[Courtney]

Dibble double you it will. You don't do it. So in your 20s, I would say it's.

[Renee]

Hello and welcome to the To My Sisters podcast. I'm Renee.

[Courtney]

And I'm Courtney. And we are your online sisters and hosts of the To My Sisters podcast.

[Renee]

Now we are all about promoting the wellness, growth and development of a community of sisters across the world.

[Courtney]

And in today's episode, we are going to be discussing how to strike the balance between enjoying your 20s and being financially responsible. Oh yeah. In the economic times that we are in right now, a lot of us have to question our financial decisions.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

But also when you're young and you're living life and you're in your 20s, everyone tells you to enjoy your 20s. We actually preach that message as well. So how do you balance enjoyment and the costs associated with that with actually being financially responsible and preparing for the future? And this was actually a response, a request that came through on Instagram. So follow us if you don't already o my sisterhood so that you can. You can also chime into what we discuss on the podcast. Yes. But before we get into that conversation, are there any housekeeping announcements?

[Renee]

I don't think so. I think we have mostly swept the house, I guess. Just a couple of reminders. Hi guys. If you love this podcast, please share it with some newbies. We love that our community is love is is big and strong, but we want it to continue to be bigger and stronger. So please share this podcast episode. Share to my sisters with a sister that may not have heard us. You know, we want to make sure that we are reaching so many different audiences. And also, if you haven't already, you know, it's the time for Christmas is upon us soon. So if you want to gift someone something, you should get them the To My sisters book.

[Courtney]

Just saying that would be a great gift. People love it.

[Renee]

People love a good book. So please continue to support us and support the sisterhood, especially as we celebrated five years last week. So, yeah, love on. Thank you.

[Courtney]

Fantabulous. I don't think I have any housekeeping. Which means we're going straight into the.

[Renee]

Ding, ding, ding dilemma.

[Courtney]

Let's help a sister out. This one's kind of interesting. Okay. Hi, sisters. I would love to hear your thoughts about this issue. I have recently noticed that the men in my community seem to be connecting with women who may not necessarily be as committed to to God, mature in their thinking, and strong. This is a little bit upsetting because it makes me wonder whether strong women like myself would love, would have to settle dumb ourselves down and not be as consecrated to God to be married. I would really appreciate your thoughts. Kiss. Kiss.

[Renee]

Oh dear. Kiss. Kiss.

[Courtney]

Kiss, kiss.

[Renee]

Yeah. First of all, lots of love, sis. Yeah. Very, very interesting.

[Courtney]

Thank you for sending your dilemma through.

[Renee]

We very much appreciate it. And sisters, if you do have a dilemma, please, please send it over to us via our website. We have a lovely actual page where.

[Courtney]

You can submit your dilemma.

[Renee]

Submit something nice, but it does have a character limit there. So there you go. Do with that what you will. We've imposed our restrictions and bands and whatnot. But yeah, sis, thank you so much for sending your dilemma. I think this is a very interesting dilemma. I think first and foremost, I wonder how your understanding slash perspective of spiritual maturity looks like. And I don't know, obviously the relationships that you have with within your community. I don't know how big it is. I don't know the context or whatnot. So these may be generalizations. I may get some things wrong, but I'm going based off of what you've shared. I think it can be very difficult to judge other people's relationships in general unless you have an actual direct relationship with them. Yeah, I think Part of the problems that we often face within, you know, especially a religion, in a religious context and within Christianity is we can make rash judgments on people's spiritual maturity based on what we know of them. And that may not actually be a. Not a. May not be a lot. So I think it's very difficult to kind of judge with a very generalized brush that these women are, you know, spiritually immature or they're not as consecrated, or they don't necessarily have a relationship with God per se. So I would caution against the sweeping generalization like that and then coming to the conclusion that men are attracted to, you know, whatever type of woman you've decided that might be. I think that we have seen. We have seen these kind of things in popular culture, right, not just with men, but also women, where you can find yourself in a situation where you're attracted to people that are, you know, outside of the faith, maybe or may not be as spiritually mature, or may their relationship or their walk with God might look different. And I think that, you know, again, you don't really want to comment too much on people's relationships like that. I don't know. I just. I don't necessarily have too much comfort in that. And I think using that to then weigh in on your current state of affairs or using that as the reason as to why you may not actually be in a relationship right now, or finding it difficult to find your right person, I think is very problematic. I think they're two separate issues. I think, you know, there is the issue that people find non believers or people that are not as spiritually mature, whatever, attractive. I think that's one issue. But I think in terms of you and your prospects and you finding somebody that is a match for you, I think that it would be the conflation of two issues. I also think that in terms of you feeling that you'd need to dumb yourself down or, you know, you'd have to be less consecrated or whatnot. Again, I don't want to, like, judge you or anything like that, but I did, like, when I saw this dilemma, I was like, oh, girl, the tone of this is a little bit shady to me personally. And maybe that's just like the way that my perspective or the way that I'm reading it. So my bad, if not sis. But I do think it is. It did make me feel some type of way in terms of, like, what are you insinuating around your capacity to find a partner? Why you also, is there a little bit of pride there insofar as you know, you're at a particular level and you're looking for a partner that's also at that particular level, I think that's a fair thing to desire. But I think to attribute or have some concerns about your capacity to find a partner, being threatened by the presence of women that are non believers and all that kind of stuff, I do think is a little bit problematic and can come across as a little bit like a tiny bit judgmental. So I would caution on that, Sis, with all my love and respect, I think no, in short, you definitely wouldn't need to like, dumb yourself down or, you know, act or behave in a way to attract a man. Point blank, period. I think that when you're thinking about marriage and partnership and even the purpose of like, you know, marriage, as a believer, you know, it's important for you to try and find somebody that is equally yoked. And so for you to feel like, oh, you'd need to compromise wherever you are in terms of your walk with God or your relationship with God in order to find somebody that is appropriate for you, I think that we already know is antithetical to the word. So think you should feel threatened, I don't think you should feel insecure. I don't think you should feel any sort of way insofar as what you're seeing in general trends around your community. I think sometimes we can also be heavily influenced by the things that we have in our immediate surroundings. But that doesn't necessarily mean, or that doesn't necessarily now directly relate to you. Like you can, you know, marry outside of your community, but you can also experience good things and goodness and God's love in the form of marriage, in the form of an equally yoked partner outside of what you're seeing as the prevailing narrative within your community. So I would definitely also encourage you to. In terms of your actual general community, are there people that you find inspiring that you could reach out to? Are there couples? Are there individuals? Are there people that you think are great models of both an individual walk with Christ, but also in terms of marriage that are equally yoked? Are there people that you can hang out with, spend time with folks that would help you to move past this prevailing narrative that you might have built up by virtue of spending time or making some observations on what you've seen around you that might also be particularly helpful? Sometimes it can be very difficult for us to believe things outside of what's in our general vicinity. So I'd very much encourage you to try and diversify the community that you have around you, but also diversify the kinds of things that you have around you that are seeping into your perspective. But yeah, I don't think that you would need to dumb yourself down. I don't think you'd need to compromise your faith to find a partner. And I think if you find yourself in that position, then that person is not for you. And so don't compromise. Don't feel like you have to behave in a certain type of way in order to be married. And I think is worth even doing a little bit of a deep dive as to you getting to that place. Right. Thinking that, oh, okay, if I actually do have the desire to be married, I need to behave in a certain way. That's actually antithetical to my faith. That in of itself is a problem because there's the. In there is the, you know, idolatry of married. Like, to what extent does this mean this much to you that you would be willing or thinking about compromising your faith or the way that you, you know, behave your spiritual walk, all of that kind of stuff. So I do think that there's a little bit of hard work that might need to be done in terms of ascertaining, okay, what's my relationship to marriage? How much do I actually trust, believe that God can bring me a partner that is somebody that is on. On fire for God as much as I am. And then also thinking about, okay, do I desire, like my actual desire of marriage? Is it now competing with my spiritual integrity and my walk with God? So I would definitely encourage you to do a little bit of hard work in, in that particular area. But in essence, no, sis, I don't think that there's any part of your spiritual walk that you'd need to compromise at all in order to be married. Or God gives us the, you know, God creates a desire in our heart because he actually intends to fulfill it. And I think there's. When it comes to relationships and marriage in general, you have to have faith, but you don't compromise your integrity in order to fulfill the desires of your heart. It's all in God's time and it's all about maintaining that integrity such that you can get to that particular place. But yeah, that's my thoughts course. But I would love to hear you.

[Courtney]

I think that was a really good response. I think fundamentally, I agree, like, you don't need to. You don't need to change yourself to make yourself more appealing to men to get married. However, I think below this or underneath this dilemma is Something that I observe sometimes within, like, the Christian women's space. Not necessarily near me, but like online, especially when a guy. Not even just Christian women, actually, just women in general. When a guy ends up choosing a. Let's say an unconventional. Traditional. Unconventional woman. Right. From the traditional. A lot of women come out. What is he even seeing her? It's like they're angry.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

At the fact that somebody who they consider outside of the perfect wife or perfect girlfriend archetype has succeeded in gaining what they have not gained. Not to say that this is you, sis. Listen, but if the shoe fits. It's a sisterhood, I'm saying. Okay. And. And there's this. There's this visceral reaction to, like, why are they with her? I remember when was it Cardi. Cardi B. Got engaged to offset. Or married to offset.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

The outrage that a woman like Cardi B. Has got a husband who uproar. And it's just like, because fundamentally inside you think that because you have submitted to social rules, oftentimes confining rules, you feel like you deserve the prize. And so now it has made you outraged that somebody who wasn't playing that game has ended up with the prize. And I think there's something to be investigated in this dilemma as to. Are you strong and committed to God and all the. The other amazing attributes which you've ascribed to yourself. Are you these things because you think that's what is the key to getting a man? Yeah, because if that is the case, then you are these things not because you want to be, but because you've centered men in your life. And so I think fundamentally it's not about whether you should change for a man. I think you should change in accordance to becoming who you actually want to be and who you've always been and who you desire to be. Maybe you have this. And I'm not saying this is specific to your case, but it's two things. You are naturally a very strong person, which is fantastic. I'm a very strong person, like, naturally. It's not just trauma that's made me strong. I just am very much. To get what I mean.

[Renee]

That's one of my traits.

[Courtney]

It's one of my traits. Very strong. Very much like I am committed to God. I love God and all of that stuff. But it's not because I want this prize. It's because that's just who I am. And I've leaned into. I've learned. I'm leaning into who I am as a person. I am this person because I want to be the same with you. You are very intelligent. You lean into your intelligence because you want to be.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

A lot of people become what they are, not because they want something, but I think it's fundamental to be who you actually are and then get somebody who wants you for who you actually are.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

And so basically what I'm saying is, if you feel like being this strong woman is not natural to you, then stop being her. But if you feel like this is natural to you, stop being who you are. Because it seems like the other girls seem to be winning. Do you get what I mean? No, like, that's not it. The men who those women are with, I think, first of all, those women are so much more than what you're observing of them. Like you were saying about the air of judgment. It's not just, oh, she's not that God fearing, oh, she's not that this. She's not that. In your perspective, but clearly that man has seen something over there that he likes. That woman is probably so much more than these things which you have pinned her down to be. Or she's not that strong. She's not that. But she could be impeccably intelligent. She could be really funny. Like, do you get what I mean? Extremely funny, extremely welcoming. All these other traits that make a person attractive, like, fundamentally. And so it's easy to be like, oh, she's not what I am.

[Renee]

Yeah, okay.

[Courtney]

But you might not be what she is either. I'm sorry to say it, but that doesn't make any of you less deserving of love. It makes you deserving of the love that fits you.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

And so just be who you are versus comparing yourself to other women. Because society loves to make us put ourselves against other women on the basis of she has a man and you don't. No. Be who you are. Lean into your strengths. Lean into who you naturally are. Be as cliche as it sounds, be the best version of you. And then the right man will come along. And if he doesn't, well, at least she lived a good life.

[Renee]

Courtney.

[Courtney]

At least she lived a good life.

[Renee]

Courtney. Go away, bro.

[Courtney]

At least she did great.

[Renee]

What? At least she lived.

[Courtney]

At least she lives a good life. Yeah. So I would just say you don't need to change yourself. Unless you feel like who you currently are is not who you actually are, but instead it's a performance that you've put on because you want the reward of a man. If that's the case, then, baby girl, take off the mask and be who you are. Do you know what I mean? But if it is a case of this is who you are, continue to be that and a man who loves you and needs you will come and choose you.

[Renee]

That part.

[Courtney]

That's it. So sis, hopefully, I know it's a bit of tough love mixed in there, but hopefully this helps you to at least start to investigate and think critically about your mindset towards this situation. But let them men be with them girls and let them girls be with their men in peace. Hopefully this answers your dilemma. Sisters. Will be good to hear your thoughts down in the comments. You can leave comments on YouTube, on Spotify, anywhere. And yeah, send your dilemma. Send your if you have a dilemma, you can send your dilemma to our dedicated dilemma page on our website or you can just email us dilemmasomysisters.com love you. But into the conversation how to balance financial responsibility but also enjoyment in your 20s and as much as we're not qualified financial advisors and maybe it'll be great to have this kind of conversation with someone who is. Yeah, I thought it would be great to chime in on this from our perspective because we are nearing our late 20s. We are in our late 20s slash nearing our 30s. Right. So we have experienced the 20s at 28 years old.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

How have your 20s been? And how have you balanced enjoyment.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

With financial responsibility? Especially if you can tell us a bit more like let the girlies know, because I. I already know. But let them know, tell us a bit about your background and your like history of money. Maybe in your teens and childhood that led up to how you behaved in your 20s.

[Renee]

Yeah, absolutely. This is a fantastic question because I would say that I've been doing a lot of work fairly recently, but also I would say the last like couple of years of healing my relationship with money. When I grew up, I described myself as having a very independent spirit. I grew up love my parents down bad, but obviously my parents are first generation migrants to the United Kingdom. Anyone who is aware of the structural biases, the challenges that you know, come as a result of that. My parents were wonderful in doing the best that they could to create an environment where me and my siblings could thrive and do well and such. That resources, capital, all of that kind of good stuff was difficult to come by. But my parents always made it work and I love them and I'm really grateful for that. However, one thing that I would say this resulted in for me was I had a very, very independent spirit. I was very much like, I don't want to be dependent on Nobody. I want to make sure that I have enough money. I was, Listen, you know, when you grow up in the hood, you see people doing all sorts of illegal stuff. I did not do an illegal thing. Just in case there's any feds or no, I did not. No, I did not. Maybe a streaming, illegal streaming or something. This cannot be used in the court of law. Sorry. I've been watching how to Get Away with Murder. Re watching it. So I'm not going to say anything to incriminate myself on this podcast. But yeah, I grew up with a very independent spirit and very early on in my life I was very much interested in making sure that I could get by by myself. I didn't want to feel like I was at the behest of the system. I didn't want to feel like I'm going to a man for begging man for bread. I always wanted to be that person that's like, I need to take care of myself. And this leaked into my finances as well. I was tight fisted with money. Like I would save and save and save. And it's not like I was out here saying, oh yeah, I'm gonna save like a meal or anything like that, but I was saving to the point where I didn't actually like spending money. And I think when you grow up and you've experienced lack, sometimes you can feel that some of the things that bring you joys are burdens. It feels like because it's not a necessity, I shouldn't be spending money on it. And so things that genuinely brought me that joy, like reading or like even things like beauty, I'm like, oh, how do I get a discount on it? Or like, how do I just not spend money on it? How do I, how do I live as minimally as possible so that my expenses do not increase. But as I grew older, I realized that that is such an unsustainable way of living. And I think it will probably resonate with a lot of people that are like, you know, first daughters, first or second generation migrants. One thing about my, I love about my mom, my mom can find a bargain. One thing that lady, like she taught me how to haggle. There is nothing that I believe my mom has paid for full price. I don't believe, like I genuinely don't.

[Courtney]

Think there's anything that she has.

[Renee]

And I think that's a beautiful thing to have as a basis because it means, ok, I now know how to negotiate or I know how to find deals and stuff like that. But I do think on the flip side of that, it took me a very long time to enjoy things just for me. And another good thing that I would say that I learned from my parents is giving. My parents were very, very generous, especially my mom. She grew up in a culture where even if you had one, like literally one slice of bread, you're cutting that slice of bread and you're sharing it with another person. And that spirit of generosity mixed in with the independence and was a fatal combination because it meant as much as I could give and give and give, and as much as I could save and save and save. It also meant that in terms of the reverse of me actually receiving stuff, I found that really difficult. I found it really difficult to receive anything. I found it really difficult to be in debt to anybody whatsoever. Even the whole concept of debt. I was like, I do not want any kind of. I want my credit score 999, and I want no debt whatsoever. And one of the biggest things that you learn when you get older and you build anything is that you have to take risks. Like, in order to win big, you also have to be prepared to lose big. And if you find yourself constantly playing small or playing on, you know, the safe side, you will never do anything that's of worth at that particular level because you're not willing to lose at that level as well. And say, I was, I was basically growing up very, very independent, giving, but I don't like receiving stuff. I don't like being, you know, in debt. I don't like risking stuff. And it took me a very, I would say, probably till like my mid to late twenties to really develop my likes and dislikes because I wasn't allowing myself to spend money on the things that brought me joy. I wasn't allowing myself to spend money on hobbies. Yeah, I even realized I was having this conversation with my therapist fairly recently where we were disse in a lot of my hobbies and some of the things that I've started to do and all that kind of stuff. And she was like, renee, you have a lot of hobbies that are about producing stuff like, wow, what do you actually do that brings you joy? And I was like, but these things bring me joy. It's like, yeah, but you're very much focused on an outcome or it's very much a hobby that is about bringing stuff to you, like bringing capital, making money, and all that kind of stuff. Like, do you have anything that you do? Just because even if it's a cash loss, I was like, cash loss. Hobbies, we don't do that in my household. And it made me realize how much I had gotten to a place of being so tight fisted with my money, being so tight fisted with who I am as a person that I haven't really been able to blossom. Like I haven't nurtured things outside of my capacity to produce, my capacity to hold on to stuff and dare I say it, my capacity to save became an idol to me. Like, am I really trusting that God is also the God of my finances? Really? Especially when you're somebody that has experienced lack or you've hit rock bottom. That is the one of the hardest things that anyone can ever go. Like just not having things like bare essentials, bare minimums, all that kind of stuff. That is one of the hardest places to be as a kid, as a teen. And I felt like I spent the majority of my twenties trying to hide away from that. Like, literally like a squirrel that was picking up nuts for the winter.

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[Renee]

But I had created my own indefinite winter as opposed to experiencing summer. So it took me a very, very long time to actually experience the fruits of my labor because I was so focused on doing the financially responsible thing. And it's literally in my late 20s that I've been like, oh, I'm just a girl. Like I'm actually rediscovering my childhood and my again, another Thing that my therapist said that was really helpful was exposure therapy is very, very helpful in rerouting or creating some of those new like neurological pathways. Right? So just spending money on myself, like, and getting used to that experience of spending money on me, oh my gosh, it's been so liberating.

[Courtney]

I love it.

[Renee]

For me, there's times where like, for example, like, like you'll call me or like you'll message me. Oh, Renee, what are you doing today? I'm like, I'm going to get my pistachio latte, I'm going shopping and stuff like that. And not to say that, you know, I'm a spendthrift or anything like that, but I think for the sisters that are listening that have always felt like they are afraid of being in lack and so haven't really fully experienced abundance, exposure therapy helps. It helps to say, okay, cool, I am of value, so I'm gonna actually spend money on something that I enjoy. Especially in a time where, as you mentioned at the beginning of this episode, everybody's been, oh, you know, we're in an economic downturn. We want to make sure that we are being mindful and finances and blah, blah, blah. It's very funny to me because I feel like the majority of people know this already. Like, we're not like majority of people that I speak to and I know and stuff like that. I wouldn't say that any of them are like major spendthrifts. Do you know what I mean? All of us are trying to make it, like all of us are trying to make ends meet. We're all aware of what's happening in society right now. We're all aware of the importance, especially as women, to have our own bank accounts and our own savings and make our own money and stuff like that. We are all aware of the importance of having financial independence, right? And so a lot of these messages, whilst it's important that there is the narrative of financial stewardship and financial independence, I think equally as important are the messages around, okay, how do we steward our finances? How do we also enjoy and create circumstances and environments where we can also blossom as people, where we can create experiences that are not so tight fisted and we can actually move on and experience a fulfilling life where we strike a balance as opposed to going to the extremes. So that's a little bit about my background and my relationship with money. Very much a, oh, I was a saver girl. I be, listen, I still be doing it, you know, when your soap is finishing and you have to cut it in half or your scream is finishing. You have to cut it in half to get. Because sometimes the manufacturers the cream is in one bottle and you know there's.

[Courtney]

Cream on the side.

[Renee]

I'm not going to go and buy another. Going to cut it. Yeah, I'm going to cut it in half. Capitalism. I'm going to cut it in half. I'm going to use the cream or my toothpaste is finishing. I, I promise you if you just squeeze it a little bit, you'll have at least a week's worth of toothpaste. But it's a very unhealthy place because any extreme is an idol and that's good. The extreme of, you know, the extreme saver or the person that's like tight fisted or the person that is banking on however X amount of savings to save them. Your savings will not save you. Jesus will save you, but your savings actually will not save you. And so it's okay to live like actually giving yourself permission to live to do a couple of frivolous things because they actually bring you joy. Like your joy is also important. I think that's another really important lesson that I found recently as well is my joy is actually important and my joy is also important to God as well. Yeah, I think that's why I was really all coming out. But that's something that I've even been reflecting on recently a lot more. I'm like, wow, God cares about my joy. Yeah, like it's not just about saving and being like super, super financial minimalism and stuff like that. This stuff is important. But God cares about my joy too. He, he does. And it's okay to find joy in these things. They don't have to be your idol or your God, but they can bring you joy and it's okay to your joy is worth investing in. And I think that's a brilliant reminder, especially in a time where it can be easy to feel like, oh, everything is going to hell. Yeah, I'm saving for this. I'm saving for a house, I'm saving for a car. I'm saving for. I'm saving for my future family. I'm saving. Save and saving. But when will you enjoy? Yeah, when will you live your life? So yeah, that's my journey course. But would love to hear, tell us a little about a bit about yourself and your journey and all them things.

[Courtney]

First of all, thank you for sharing that. I think that that was full of so many gems and I think a lot of people can relate to that. I think my journey's been different. I think we're slightly different. So I think growing up, not having like too, too much, I think I still always saw my mom being like, well we have enough money for enjoyment. Yeah. I mean to be fair, enough money.

[Renee]

For the things that we like, for.

[Courtney]

The things that she likes.

[Renee]

You ain't ever gonna ca scratch auntie. Look at life, yo.

[Courtney]

Unless she's going to the shop, unless she's going to the market. Like I mean that's almost to be fair actually though, still, still. But okay. So yeah, I think growing up I saw my mom being like, yeah, we had hard times, but I've bought a new bag. You know, it's just like, whoa, you know, I don't have money but here's some jab from Harrods. I just. What's the, the dichotomy of it all? She's just living in the, the liminal. And I, to be fair, because I grew up majority with my, like most of my time was with my mum. I felt like growing up seeing that example. I always had a very strong awareness that like life is to be enjoyed but also you need to cut your clothes according to your size, your, your coat according to your time. So I think she, she was very much. She would emphasize a lot to be fair that like life is serious and you should always have everything that's important covered. So my mum's always been about like, she'll be building a property back home, she'll be taking care of family members, she'll make sure that we had everything that we needed. But what she then had left. She was not shy about showing her self love. And I felt like that when I was growing up helped me to realize that like as long as you can afford it, it never be afraid to shower yourself with, with love. So sometimes I've taken that and run with it. So I would say my early 20s, well late teens, early 20s when I started making my own money basically and like my own serious amount of money, I would take care of my responsibilities and then I would be a little bit frivolous. I didn't really save as much as I could have. Now that I'm thinking retrospectively I definitely could have saved a lot more but it was just kind of like I taking care of my responsibilities. The rest is for enjoyment. Enjoyment. Do you know what I mean? So I would buy myself stuff and I think that led to a huge amount of over consumption because I like things like I liked nice clothes, I liked like loads of makeup and experimenting here and there. I wouldn't say that I was like ostentatious, but I would just buy myself things, especially experiences. I'm outside. And so I think looking back, I would have wished I was a bit more restricted. My parents never, they always used to be like, say, but they never used to tell me how per se. And so there was always that knowledge of, oh, you know, a rainy day might come, but today is sunny, so we're outside, we outside today. And then kind of finding myself in a place where similarly, I was financially independent to some degree at quite a young age. I was like, oh, I also don't need to ask anyone for permission for money. And I like that feeling. And I think I really appreciated that discovery early on because in my 20s it's followed me through where it's like, you don't need to ask anyone for money.

[Renee]

Just do your thing.

[Courtney]

Do your thing, like, and, and work for it. Like, work hard to provide yourself the life that you want and don't be dependent on anybody to give you the life that you actually want. Make it happen.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

And so I've always had a very strong, like, work ethic. And it hasn't come from a place of like, oh my God, I have to work. It's been more so I want to work because I want a nice life. Do you? I mean, I enjoy the things that I do. So there's been that area of that air of freedom. I think what I've had to kind of learn as I've gotten more into my twenties is the art of saving. Like, actually you don't have to spend everything that you have. And I think that's why I love this topic because I have really had to basically prioritize what actually matters to me in my twenties. What does enjoy in my twenties actually look like? And not by the standard, because when I think not by the standard of what other people say, it is basically because when I look back on my teen years is I was spending money on things that I cannot explain now. Like, I. Renee, I cannot tell you the amount of shoes I've bought in this life.

[Renee]

That's so.

[Courtney]

Do you know, currently, as I said, I own a pair of Timberlands. I don't know where they are.

[Renee]

Do you know how funny.

[Courtney]

And I remember how much those Tims.

[Renee]

You know, yes, they are pricey.

[Courtney]

Hey, over £100 for boots, almost £200. I think Tim's were when I bought them for boot. And I don't wear them now. And I just think to myself, no, because I also don't like them now.

[Renee]

Oh, yeah.

[Courtney]

Do you get me? But back then it was kind of like, everyone's got Tims.

[Renee]

I want Tims.

[Courtney]

Do you get. I mean, and I can afford to buy Tim, so I'll buy Tim's wrong decision and stuff like that. It's like when I think about the, the bags, the shoes, the. And again, it's the cons, the consumables. When I think about all of these things, none of this was really me. It was just what everyone was telling me I should buy.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

And I think that's why I'm very big on, like, don't consume stupidly. Like, don't overcon. It's a huge waste of money because I know that regret of like, damn. If I calculated how much I've spent on fashion and hair and it's. It's all amounted to zilch, right? And I think when I latched onto the idea around like 21, 22, I was like, oh, no, know, we are not swinging fully to the other side, but let's be serious. And I think you have to tell yourself at some point what actually matters to me. Yeah, I'll allocate money to that. But once I'm done doing that, there's no more money to allocate to fun. The rest is about getting serious. And I think I. I knew my ambitions from quite early as well that, like, okay, I want to have a certain amount of financial freedom or financial ability, ability to financially move. I want to be a bit financially agile. So, yeah, let me have some money and know that money is a cushion for that. You know, that's, that's what enables that. And so it's just meant that in my early 20s, I kind of program my mind to be like, okay, how do I save properly? And it's just been about strategic saving for me. I. I think I've said this on the podcast before, but I've never been the sort of person who takes a small amount of money out of everything that I make. I just. How much do I need to save this month? Once I've saved it, everything else on.

[Renee]

Top, it is for me, like, let's go.

[Courtney]

Do you get what I mean? But again, you have to assess what's actually important to you. So I think one piece of advice that I think what would be helpful to go into in this episode is to talk about the, the lessons that we've learned that could be helpful advice for someone who is kids entering their 20s or mid-20s who was like, okay, so how Do I actually have fun whilst also financially preparing for the future? I think one big thing for me has been decide what a financial future looks like for you. Like, that's the biggest thing. Decide. One of the best things that's happened to me in my life was I sat down and had a meeting with one of my mentors and he said, what does the future, a happy future, actually look like for you? Sat down, he made me describe it. He draws it out, all out. And he was like, okay, realistically, let's think about how much is this going to cost? He breaks down the cost of it all. And he was like, that's your target, that financial amount. Obviously there's inflation, all that stuff, but let's be a bit rough. That financial amount is enough to give you the future that you actually want. Don't aspire above it if you don't really need to. Don't settle for below it. This is what you're thinking, this is it. This is it. And if society is telling you no, you should earn millions and millions, you need to remember you don't need millions. And if it's telling you, don't, you know, don't bother going above the 100k threshold, don't listen to that either, because you need it. I mean, so that's, that's fundamentally what it is. Like, what does my financial future look like for me? And I'm gonna make that my North Star. And it's okay if it adjusts, it's okay if it changes, but you need to know what you're working towards. What does the financial future look like to you? Then you have to think about what does a happy life look like for you as well? For some people, happy life is not owning many possessions, but it's having an abundance of experience. It's having a really flourishing community. For some people, it is having an abundance of possessions. And so just describing to yourself, okay, what does this look like? What does happiness look like? And then how do I actually afford it? Yeah, because you don't want to be fueling your joy out of debt. Debt is not enjoyable.

[Renee]

It's not man. Especially if you're not using it strategically.

[Courtney]

Exactly. Debt is not enjoyable. And so, so now let me think about how do I fuel that? So what does that look like? Financial responsibility isn't just saving, it's also being able to actually bring in enough money to afford what you want. Right. So in your 20s, I would say it's not just about saving, even though that's really important because rainy days do come.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

It's also, can I upskill enough to make more than I actually I'm making now so that I can have more wiggle room in life? And so I think, I think throughout my Life, in my 20s, I've been looking at, okay, how do I just make more money? How do I make more money? But also, do I know what is enough? Because you can work yourself into the ground trying to make more. So knowing what is enough, but always trying to make that level. Yeah. I mean, of what enough actually is. So it's been learning new skills, having a portfolio career, and trialing out so many different things profitably so that I can then save large chunks of money. Like. Like there was a year where I saved 20k in 6 months. And I said this, probably the most money I' ma save in the next 10 years.

[Renee]

God forbid.

[Courtney]

God forbid. To be fair, I've saved more since then. That was in 2021. So I just. But I thought to myself, okay, if I give myself 6 months of sheer focus, the next 6 months is free.

[Renee]

Game you can enjoy.

[Courtney]

Do you get what I mean? That's just. But that's my strategy for some people, they will pan that out over 12 months, over two years, over three years, whatever that might be. And I knew where that 20k was going to. I knew exactly what that 20k was for. And so I think giving purpose to my money based on my ambitions has also helped me to be like, I can afford the life that I actually want.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

And that helped me to actually go traveling.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Because I had the money, it was like, okay, what do I want to use these savings for? I want to travel.

[Renee]

You want to travel.

[Courtney]

And now my travel. Do you get what I mean? So put your money towards the enjoyment that you want, but not all your money and set. And I think what you highlighted is so important because you can give. Enjoyment is a purpose. Yeah, it is a purpose. You can allocate a budget to enjoying your life. Right. But that's the most important thing, allocating the money, not just frivolously spending the money. Yeah. What advice would you give to, like, your younger. You have younger sisters, but like your figurative younger sister about how she can make the most of her 20s without feeling guilty. But also remember that life is going to continue past 29.

[Renee]

Loud. First of all, those are some great learnings right there. I think what you were saying. But no, you succeeded because some of us are not here. No, it's true. Because I think it's one thing to kind of Give advice. But I think it's another thing to live it. And I think what I love about you, especially in your current, is that you are living.

[Courtney]

So no right now though, if you ask me, I'm broke. Let me tell you. Not that I'm professing that. Anyways to reality. I don't have as much money as I used to because my.

[Renee]

But it's called invest.

[Courtney]

Do you know, the other day I was talking to Claude and I was like, claude, I open my account and I see numbers at levels I've never seen before. It is tremendously scary. It's tremendously scary. Tremendously. You know, an account like. So where we was. I was saving my house deposit.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

I look at that And I see 17p.

[Renee]

Is when you see the zero point. And then 17 was.

[Courtney]

And the Barclays, they make the 17 small.

[Renee]

They do. Yeah.

[Courtney]

Yeah. They make that real small. Them zeros are large.

[Renee]

I just think.

[Courtney]

And then he said, don't want to.

[Renee]

Call it a while.

[Courtney]

Just touch the wall. So sometimes I just go. And I just touch.

[Renee]

No, you have to.

[Courtney]

And I'm like.

[Renee]

When people say, enjoying where you live. This is the epitome of a jit. Don't let anybody call you out side.

[Courtney]

I can't go.

[Renee]

No, no, no. You have to fully enjoy it.

[Courtney]

I come.

[Renee]

You have to. No, it's gonna have to be a video call.

[Courtney]

That's it.

[Renee]

Using your WI fi.

[Courtney]

That's it. That's it.

[Renee]

Because you pay for that.

[Courtney]

Because we pay for that. Because we pay for that.

[Renee]

As you should.

[Courtney]

But anyways. Yeah. Like, there are different levels to poverty.

[Renee]

But there's. But I think. My God. Yeah. What was I even saying? I love that you're actually living in it. And I think speaking of tied up in brick and mortar, one thing that I would say is actually invest.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

And I think a lot of people think our investments are stocks and shares. Etc. That's your stocks and shares. ISAs. Go and get your.

[Courtney]

Your lifetime ISA help to buy interests. Yep.

[Renee]

Or you. All of the accounts. Like literally my younger sisters are still in like entry level junior positions and literally I've been having conversations with them on. These are the accounts that you need. These are the high interest accounts that you need to be investing in from early. So I think investing is a very big thing. And we've had an incredible lady on our podcast before, Ms. Balasol, Mrs. B. So if you haven't already. Ch. Check her out. She has a fantastic book out. Go and listen to the episode again. She Talks about some of the ways that you can invest your money purposefully.

[Courtney]

Your money life.

[Renee]

Your money life. I have, like, seven copies of that book.

[Courtney]

Yeah, Serious.

[Renee]

Oh, my gosh. Maybe we should do a giveaway.

[Courtney]

Oh, that might be nice.

[Renee]

That'd be cooler.

[Courtney]

So great book.

[Renee]

It's an investment, but you actually need to invest and seeing things as an investment as well. So investing in your money to make more money. I love that you're talking about. About being able to. Okay, these are the things that I want. I've identified the things that I want. I am going to go and make more money to get that. And like, dude, you're the queen of that. And I love it. And my husband is like that too. He's like, oh, I want this. So, yeah, yeah. George would be like, oh, I want this. Let's go make money together. And I'm like, oh, okay. Wow. And I remember there was one of our, like, first holidays together. It was coming up to a total of like 2K. And he was like, oh, I don't think we need to spend money. I think we just should make the money. So we had a challenge. We had a challenge of, like six months. We're like, if we can't make that 2K from, like, Lassez Faire things outside, then we're not going on this holiday.

[Courtney]

Facts.

[Renee]

I have never moved with such a wheel. I said, I'm going to be in the sunshine.

[Courtney]

And that is fuel for me because.

[Renee]

I know I'm going to use this. This one is for enjoyment purposes. So I'm gonna go and make money. And I think another person that does this really well is Makai.

[Courtney]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Renee]

Kai is the queen. I think she did it on her podcast. She mentioned it on her podcast. Sometimes you have to go and make the money to afford the things that you want. So I would say, like, speaking to myself as a younger person, invest. But also, don't be afraid to explore different ways to make money. It's not just your 9 to 5 career that will make you money, but the skills that you actually pick up from your 9 to 5 will not only help you to upskill in your work, but also do things outside. Things like consulting, things like speaking, things like offering services outside. Get real creative with the ways that you make money and also the way that you make money in different seasons can change. Yeah, dude. Like when I say I'm queen of side quests, I was a baker. At some point, I was out here making. I was waking up at 4am in the morning to make Cupcakes, the best cakes. Great stuff. She ain't gonna come back. She might. If she, if she does, just know that I have a holiday coming.

[Courtney]

Support the girl.

[Renee]

Do you remember back in the day when we used to have to bring cakes to school? Bake sales. Yeah. Yeah. We need to bring that stuff back. We need to bring it for personal endeavors. Bake sales. So get creative with the ways that you make money and actually invest in your money so that you can make a return. It's not just about keeping money, but also making your money go further. And I love what you were saying about money with purpose. Like, be very intentional about what is it that you're actually saving for? Because sometimes you can get into the habit of saving. Oh, it's a rainy day. Anything else? Yeah, is there anything else that you want? Like, okay, the house. Okay. The car. Okay, the even other things like enjoyment, Budgeting for enjoyment. I have a pistachio latte fund. Like, I actually, it's a joint account because now it's not that one is not being paid by me, but I have a fund for that kind of stuff because it's important and I actually value it. It's actually important to my well being and happiness and joy. Budget for enjoyment. Okay. The holidays, for example. Budget for your holidays. And not in the. Personally, I'm very bougie when it comes to holidays. That's the one thing that I don't like. Sleeping on hard mattresses. I don't like that hostile situation because that is a hostage situation. I know that these are certain things that I like, so I'm gonna budget for them. And I think that also comes to a very important lesson that I've learned a little bit later, which is develop your own likes and dislikes. Yeah, you need to make your own taste. And you pointed it out perfectly. A lot of us don't truly like the things we like without the validation or without the influence of other people. And it's not a bad thing to like, see stuff and, oh, I want that. That's not a bad thing. But if every single thing, you actually become the flea. Like every single thing, you're just, you're just like, like a moth to a flame. If it's every single thing that you're jumping to, then of course money is not going to last long in your hand. You need to be intentional with your likes and dislikes because then you can predict, okay, this is something that's actually important to me. This is something I've actually developed as a. Like, this says Something about me and my personality. I'm going to actually invest in this. If I'm, for example, a fashion girly, and I like bags. Bags is my thing.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

Then I know, okay, cool. I'm gonna invest in bags. Like, that's my one expense that I'm gonna allow myself to enjoy or whatnot. Or if I know that I'm a girl that. That, you know, I love my makeup. Okay, cool. Invest in your makeup. That's fine. But is it everything like, yeah, you will have this lipstick today, and then you have this shoe tomorrow, and then you have this seventh body cream the next. What is it that you like?

[Courtney]

Yeah, you're just.

[Renee]

You're actually just a consumer for consuming sake. So make sure that some of your spending, or at least the majority of your spending, is in alignment with your actual likes and dislikes. Spend some time becoming a person person. Curate your personality, because that dictates your spending.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

And I think that's something that I feel like you do really well. Like, you're the kind of person, when I think of somebody that knows their likes and dislikes, I would say you're a really great model for me because you have always been a person that I've known that. Oh, you have never shied away from saying, I don't like that. If you like it, I like it for you, but I'm not gonna get that for me. Or like, oh, if you see something that you like, you're like, oh, I like this, and I like how it looks on me.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

I think everyone should have that in their life, where they feel comfortable, confident enough to ascertain what's my likes and dislikes. Make your own tastes. Like, if you have to go on the Pinterest and be like, oh, this is the kind of person I aspire to be, then do that.

[Courtney]

That's it.

[Renee]

I would also say you don't always have to fork out to get the luxury experience.

[Courtney]

Good, good.

[Renee]

It's actually okay, listen, in this Inokomi, in this Inokomi, things are expensive, from getting your hair done to your nails done and all that. Don't be fooled by those babes. Oh, yeah. Come with me to spend 1.8k on my beauty maintenance. Do you know that's somebody's salary for the month?

[Courtney]

I personally feel like that's so irresponsible.

[Renee]

Jail.

[Courtney]

There is no. Unless you are Beyonce Knowles. Carter, why are you spending these astronomical amounts on something that can be achieved for way less?

[Renee]

And you know what it is, yet you can tell where my Values are. So you might think that these things are important, but. But when it's those like treatments that are done by people that are also not medical professionals, you know, them kind of things where it's like, I don't know, even with things like say like teeth whitening or like this specific massage that will help you to drain such and such a thing. I'm like, do you really need it or do you just need it?

[Courtney]

Does it just want it?

[Renee]

Exactly, yeah. Which is fine. But must you want all of this thing for 1.8k, bro?

[Courtney]

I mean, if you can afford it. Shy if you can afford it, but even if you can't. Oh, my dear.

[Renee]

Yeah. There you go.

[Courtney]

You better hop off that massage bed. You better go and get. Collect your pants and go around or something. Go and go and slam yourself into a wall. It will drain something out of you. It will drain, I promise you, all of that. Lymph nodes, I was about to say roll, roll on the floor.

[Renee]

Then chewed up rollers that you get in the gym. You better go find yourself there and rub your back.

[Courtney]

You know them stupid machines that just shake you and like you break your whole body. Go and stand on it, darling. Yeah.

[Renee]

If you stand on this, then the blood flow, if you don't go for a ride. Flow. Yeah.

[Courtney]

Okay. Yeah. I was thinking you.

[Renee]

Oh, there's been this, these tik toks that are like, oh, when your partner is that person that falls into the trap of wellness stuff. And it was just this babe with the red light therapy, she's standing on that thing shaking like this. Oh, yeah. There is no reason. Don't be excessive. There's no need to be excessive. Yeah. And I think it's actually very important to have that balance in your life because obviously we've spoken about poverty and all these kind of things. And I think another thing that I think is actually very important is to continue to be generous. Yeah, I think we can.

[Courtney]

That's good.

[Renee]

We think of our finances as something that's meant for us. But I think, think if there's one thing that has been and has brought me the most joy is actually being able to sew into other people's life and so big as well. Like, it's not just about like, oh, you know, showing up for the dinners and stuff like that, but it's like, okay, something my friend is doing, like a business, I can invest in that. Or like I can support, you know, somebody that wants to go to school or something like that. So in terms of being intentional with your Money Me, I would say, you know, if I was younger. Think about other things outside of yourself that are purposeful ways that you can use your money. Like, what are the ways that you can actually invest in your community around you and not just, like, frivolously give, but actually invest in people. And honestly, like, it's from that. Not to say that you should think of it transactionally, but the ways that, like, my friends have invested in me financially over the last, like, two, three years. I'm like, whoa, like, like, oh, we. We getting old, huh? Y' all making that big boy money where you can park. Because I remember back in the day, you could. We was there collecting 50ps at £1 for a birthday gift, and now people are actually investing. So really thinking about what are some of the ways that you can steward your money and not just thinking about storing up, you know, store banks for the sake of it. But actually, okay, I want to be able to make enough so that I can cover myself, but also other people or other, like, even going for, like, dinners and lunches and stuff, like, can I cover my friend? And like, vice versa. So having a heart of generosity in order to sew into other people, I think is something that you should keep in mind. It's not just about the avocado toast for yourself. And trust me, I love an avocado toast. I love it on a sourdough any day of the week with a latte or like, a cake and a treat. Yeah, I don't know if you've seen that meme of that man in a rat trap. That is how I'll send it to you after man in a rat trap. If you want to get me in a rat trap, just put something. Pistachio, pistachio latte, a coffee and a cake. That is enough. You got my money. I know that. That's my. That's my Achilles heel. That's my. That is. That is my weakness. My kryptonites. But, yeah, being very intentional with your money and thinking about the ways not to say that you should take on the financial responsibility of everyone else. And I think that's a point to also talk about. There's quite a few people and quite a few sisters that have written into the TMS podcast and have talked about the reality of being financially responsible for other people. And I'm not encouraging that you should take on the burden of that. And in fact, a lot of people need to get to a place where they can divest from that because, yeah, for various people, depending on the situation, that you grew up in, whether it's, you know, black tax and all those kind of things there. You don't want to have to carry the burden of financial responsibility if you like. It's actually not appropriate to do so. However, it is beautiful and wonderful to be able to be in a place of financial stewardship where you can invest in friends and family as and when. So yeah, those are some of the things that have cropped up in terms of lessons for me and like, like advice that I would give. And also, please do enjoy it because sorry, also enjoy.

[Courtney]

No, go on.

[Renee]

You're young and hip and fly.

[Courtney]

That's it. Do you know what I mean? Literally. So I was going to say the only thing that I really, I think you're about talking twenties one, it's about strategy. Deciding what strategy works for you. Especially if you have, like implementing that strategy may mean you need to learn some things from your childhood and your teenage years and you need to learn some things like skills or financial, like education and knowledge. But the second biggest thing is leverage. You need to learn leverage in your 20s. Just, just begin to analyze what can I leverage in this decade to support the rest of my life? Because you are laying a foundation fundamentally, mentally, your age is something that you can leverage. Your young, hip and fly. You can actually one, you can adapt so quickly, you can pivot as much as you want because there's pretty much the least consequences at this point for pivoting, giving up, failing, all of these things. Very minimal consequences in your twenties. Very minimal consequences. Especially your early twenties. Like leverage your age leverage the fact that, that people are willing to pour into you because you're young and broke. They know that even if you're not, they think it because you're young. Do you know what I mean?

[Renee]

They change their minds.

[Courtney]

We'll cover your expenses. You get, I mean because you're young, if you're 35, we're not covering your.

[Renee]

Expenses as in your big age.

[Courtney]

Do you mean you don't have an Oyster card, but you could actually be broke? You could actually be broke. Do you mean. So leverage the fact that you're young. Leverage if you can. Your parents, if you have the privilege of having parents that can support you, leverage it. Leverage it. Leverage it. I'm so sorry.

[Renee]

And don't listen to anybody that tells you, oh yeah, you're grown, you should be.

[Courtney]

Hey, leverage it.

[Renee]

Me, I'm going to my parents house.

[Courtney]

Literally leverage it. Do you know the amount of times, even at my big age, if I see my parents you're giving me £20?

[Renee]

I'll take it for something small for you.

[Courtney]

Something small for the girl. Something small for the girl. Why? It's lunch money for me. I don't see why I need to use my.

[Renee]

This one.

[Courtney]

That when I have a parent.

[Renee]

Oh, I like bag. My mom has unlimited supply of bag. You think I'm not going to a house. V. Mom let me.

[Courtney]

All that stuff my mom was buying. What? Ah, it's mine now, so. Leverage. If you can leverage your parents for the smallest of things to even the biggest of things, like if your parents can help you buy a property, if your parents can help you go and further your education, why not? Like, why not leverage your parents whilst they're still around? By God's grace, number three, another thing that you can leverage is wherever you are, like your. Your physical location, and you need to identify these things. What am I starting my race with? Not everyone is starting the race at the same point, and a lot of people do have, like, very challenging social circumstances around them. But some of us, most of us, a lot of us, if you're listening to this podcast, you probably have something that you can leverage in your life. You probably have some kind of privilege in your life, which you can leverage. Leverage it whether it's a piece of technology you have possession of. Leverage it if it's your education. Leverage it if it's your. Or, I don't know, like, who you know, your network. Leverage it if it's the country you're in. Leverage it if it's the passport you have. Leverage it like you need to identify what can I leverage in my life to help me grow towards my future. And if you don't harness those things in your 20s, you can kind of end up behind a bit. Not. I know we always debate, but sometimes you. You feel behind, and it's valid. Do you get what I mean?

[Renee]

Me?

[Courtney]

Sometimes you can get to your 30s and 40s, and people have been running with these things since their early 20s, and it has compounded. And so the earlier you identify what you can leverage and maximize, the more you'll have over time. Do you get what I mean? Like, for example, I think of. I don't know, like, we didn't grow up with the most, but as soon as we realize that we're very intelligent, we leverage education. Like, we just. We have to leverage rich. As much as people say, oh, you know, we don't live in a meritocratic society. Okay, but I'm smart, so I'm gonna try and do My best. I will lay hold on my merits. My only way out. Do you get what I mean? And that's leverage. Do you get. So I think if you can be in your 20s, no matter what anyone says, if you identify something in your life which you can ethically leverage, ethically leverage it.

[Renee]

Ethic. Ethically heavy on the ethic. We haven't spoken about that in this particular episode. We only hinted at it in terms of illegal things that we may or may not have been doing. Banging squares. Yeah. Fraud. Yeah. Illegal activities. Yeah. He said, no, don't do that.

[Courtney]

Don't do that.

[Renee]

Criminal histories. I follow you. I know that you guys, some of you have immortalized Pablo Escobar.

[Courtney]

You want to be.

[Renee]

What's this guy? Ah, you know, James St. Patrick. These guys are. Some of them are fairy tales.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

And some of them are dead or in jail.

[Courtney]

Yeah. Heavy on the last one.

[Renee]

Stay away.

[Courtney]

Simple.

[Renee]

Don't do it.

[Courtney]

A very simple message.

[Renee]

Let's be. Let's be guided.

[Courtney]

Very simple message.

[Renee]

Because trust me, I know that you're not the. You see, when you say inokamy now, that's actually the way I'm saying economy. That was the first thing.

[Courtney]

I can't remember.

[Renee]

The Anokomi. The economy.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

You see, the way this economy is going, it has you thinking, maybe if I. I double dabbled.

[Courtney]

Maybe if I double dabbled, it will double dabble you. It will double double you. Don't do it.

[Renee]

Don't double chime. Double out. Double out.

[Courtney]

But yeah, sisters, we have to wrap up this episode, but hopefully this has been at least a start to a conversation. If you are listening to this, please give advice to our. Maybe our younger sisters or our sisters who are in their mid-20s who want to make the most of their 20s, really look back on this decade and think raw. I did my big one, but also don't want to get to 30 and think, damn, I've been doing big and I have nothing left. So please give your advice in the comments, give your advice over in The Spotify comments, YouTube comments, wherever you can. And please sign up to the. To my Sisters mailing list, if you can, over on our website to my sisters.com and be sure to follow. Follow us both. Well, you can follow us together at to my Sisterhood.

[Renee]

Hello.

[Courtney]

Literally across all socials. But you can follow us individually as well if you want to see what life is like from our individual perspectives. You can follow my bestie with the good, good, good wig at Renee Kapuku. And you can follow me at CDWA Singh as well. Lovely.

[Renee]

And of course ladies, I don't want to have to embarrass you again, but if you have, you haven't already. Please, this is your last chance to sign up to the. To my sister's mailing list. I'm trying to get a sense of.

[Courtney]

It's your last chance to sign up before tomorrow's mail company.

[Renee]

Thank you. Exactly. Thank you. Don't embarrass us girls. WW2 my sisters.com just put in your little name and we're not going to harass you. We just want to send you a nice little. A nice little juicy start to your week. You know, something, something tea, you know, or coffee. Cuz coffee is stronger than tea or whatever. Whatever the girls are saying these days. But sisters, we absolutely love love. I love.

[Courtney]

It's the. It's the in.

[Renee]

It's the in. I went to school. I promise. She said I'm intelligent. I need to clip that. Sisters, we love you. And as always, keep glowing and growing.

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