Podcast Summary: To My Sisters

Episode: How to Balance Enjoying Your 20's With Being Financially Responsible
Hosts: Courtney Daniella Boateng & Renée Kapuku
Date: November 30, 2025

Overview

In this episode, Courtney and Renée discuss one of the most relatable dilemmas for twenty-somethings: how to enjoy the prime of your youth while still being responsible with your finances. Both women candidly share their personal journeys, cultural backgrounds, and money mindsets, offering practical tips, honest reflections, and a touch of humor. The episode emphasizes intentionality, strategy, and giving oneself permission to find joy—not just save for a rainy day.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener Dilemma: Should Strong Women Compromise to “Win” at Dating?

(03:28–17:00)

• Synopsis: A listener asks if she has to “dumb herself down” or be less committed to her faith in order to be chosen by men who seem to prefer less “strong” women.
• Renée’s Response:
  • Cautions against judging the spiritual maturity of others.
  • “You definitely wouldn’t need to like, dumb yourself down or act or behave in a way to attract a man. Point blank, period.” (09:55)
  • Encourages self-reflection on whether the desire for marriage is conflicting with spiritual integrity.
• Courtney’s Response:
  • Critiques societal norms that pit women against each other for men’s approval.
  • “Are you these things because you think that’s what is the key to getting a man? ... If that is the case, then you are these things not because you want to be, but because you’ve centered men in your life.” (13:32)
  • Advises authenticity: be who you are, not who you think men want.

2. Financial Responsibility vs. Enjoyment: Childhood Lessons and Money Mindset

(18:08–31:14)

• Renée’s Background:

  • Grew up as a first-generation migrant in the UK, learning frugality and independence.
  • “I was tight fisted with money. Like I would save and save and save... I didn’t actually like spending money.” (20:00)
  • Generosity was also modeled by her parents, sometimes at personal cost.
  • The need for security led to viewing saving almost as an idol.

• Courtney’s Background:

  • Saw her mother embody a balance: “life is to be enjoyed but also you need to cut your coat according to your size.” (31:00)
  • Took care of financial responsibilities, with the rest going to enjoyment.
  • Recognizes past overconsumption — “I was spending money on things that I cannot explain now.” (35:09)

3. Breaking Out of Extremes: Experiencing Both Joy and Responsibility

(26:00–30:38)

• Renée learns: Exposure therapy helps in learning to spend on oneself and find joy.

  • “I had created my own indefinite winter as opposed to experiencing summer... it’s been so liberating.” (26:00–26:42)
  • Acknowledges that both extremes—tight-fisted saving and freewheeling spending—are unhealthy: “Any extreme is an idol... your savings will not save you.” (28:50)

• Courtney’s Shift:

  • Prioritizes what actually matters and strategically saves for it.
  • Emphasizes knowing your “North Star”—“Decide what a financial future looks like for you. That financial amount is enough to give you the future you actually want.” (37:29)

4. Practical Strategies for Your 20s

(37:29–55:48)

• Know your goals:

  • Set a realistic vision for your future—both financial and happiness goals.
  • “What does a happy life look like? And then how do I actually afford it?” (39:20)

• Purpose-driven saving:

  • Assign meaning to each savings goal—travel, home, fun, etc.
  • “Enjoyment is a purpose. You can allocate a budget to enjoying your life.” (41:13)

• Strategic earning and upskilling:

  • Focus not only on saving but on increasing earning potential.
  • “Can I upskill enough to make more than I actually am making now so that I can have more wiggle room in life?” (39:50)

• Side hustles and investments:

  • Get creative with side hustles.
  • Leverage investment tools (stocks, ISAs, high-interest accounts), as discussed with past guest Bola Sol.
  • “Investing is a very big thing... the skills that you actually pick up from your 9 to 5 will... help you to upskill in your work but also do things outside.” (45:36)

• Budgeting for Joy:

  • Deliberately assign funds for things that bring personal happiness (e.g., pistachio lattes, travel, beauty).
  • Be intentional so joy isn’t an afterthought: “Allocate the money, not just frivolously spend the money.” (41:13)

• Curate your own tastes:

  • Spend in alignment with personal values, not trends or peer pressure.
  • “Curate your personality, because that dictates your spending.” (49:06)

• Leverage your youth and network:

  • Identify and ethically use every advantage (age, education, parents, networks, location) to advance toward your goals.
  • “Leverage if you can your parents… if your parents can help you buy a property, if your parents can help you go and further your education, why not? Leverage your parents whilst they're still around.” (57:44)
  • “In your 20s, I would say it’s not just about saving... it’s also: can I upskill enough to make more than I actually am making now so that I can have more wiggle room in life?” (39:50)

• Give Generously:

  • Purposeful generosity to community, family, and friends as a source of joy.
  • “Think about other things outside of yourself that are purposeful ways that you can use your money... what are the ways that you can actually invest in your community around you?” (52:38)

5. The Importance of Balance, Integrity, and Saying No to Pressure

(55:48–61:16)

• Balance is Key:

  • Avoid the trap of thinking enjoyment must wait until later, or that saving is the only virtue.
  • “My joy is actually important and my joy is also important to God as well.” (29:44)

• Ethical Considerations:

  • Reject shortcuts or illegal means; only leverage advantages ethically.
  • “If you identify something in your life which you can ethically leverage, ethically leverage it.” (60:05)
  • “Illegal activities. Yeah. He said, no, don't do that.” (60:25)

• Reject Social Comparison:

  • Don’t base your enjoyment (or your saving) on what others say is important.
  • “You have to be intentional with your likes and dislikes because then you can predict, okay, this is something that's actually important to me.” (48:49)

• Lean Into Generosity, But Set Boundaries:

  • Support others where you can, but don’t overextend yourself (e.g., “black tax”).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I was tight fisted with money. Like I would save and save and save... I didn’t actually like spending money.”
  – Renee (20:00)

• “Your savings will not save you. Jesus will save you, but your savings actually will not save you.”
  – Renee (28:50)

• “I was spending money on things that I cannot explain now.”
  – Courtney (35:09)

• "If that is the case, then you are these things not because you want to be, but because you've centered men in your life."
  – Courtney (13:32)

• “Enjoyment is a purpose. You can allocate a budget to enjoying your life.”
  – Courtney (41:13)

• “Curate your personality, because that dictates your spending.”
  – Renee (49:06)

• “If you can be in your 20s, no matter what anyone says, if you identify something in your life which you can ethically leverage, ethically leverage it.”
  – Courtney (60:05)

• “Illegal activities... he said, no, don’t do that.”
  – Renee (60:25)

• Courtney on house deposit savings dip:
  “I look at that and I see 17p... is when you see the zero point, and then 17 was… and the Barclays, they make the 17 small. Them zeros are large.” (42:42)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:32 – Introduction of main topic
• 03:28–17:00 – Dilemma segment: Pressure to “dumb down” for relationships
• 18:08–31:14 – Hosts’ money mindsets, childhood influences, and lessons
• 26:00–30:38 – Transition from tight-fisted saving to balanced enjoyment
• 37:29–55:48 – Practical strategies and advice for 20-somethings: earning, saving with purpose, and budgeting for joy
• 55:48–61:16 – The importance of balance, ethical leverage, and generosity

Advice to Younger Sisters

• Balance is a strategy: Define your goals for both the future and for happiness—then plan backward.
• Know your why: Be intentional with both spending and saving; understand your personal values.
• Leverage ethically: Make the most of youth, opportunities, family, education, and networks, but never through shortcuts.
• Enjoy life: Give yourself permission to experience joy without guilt—but within your means.
• Invest in community: Generosity brings fulfillment; invest in purposeful giving.
• Stay true to yourself: Don’t fall for social comparison, trends, or pressure; develop your own taste and priorities.

Final Message:
“Your joy is actually important and your joy is also important to God as well.”
Be strategic, be kind to yourself, and remember: you’re laying the foundation for not just your 20s, but for the decades to come.

As always, keep glowing and growing!