How to Embrace the 4 Seasons of Your Life ft. Courtney Daniella & Renee Kapuku #TMSLiveInLondon

Summary

Podcast Summary: To My Sisters
Episode Title: How to Embrace the 4 Seasons of Your Life
Hosts: Courtney Daniella Boateng & Renée Kapuku
Release Date: November 24, 2024

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To My Sisters is a heartfelt podcast dedicated to fostering the wellness, growth, and development of a global community of sisters. In the episode titled "How to Embrace the 4 Seasons of Your Life," hosts Courtney Daniella Boateng and Renée Kapuku engage in an enriching discussion on navigating the different phases of adulthood through the metaphor of the four seasons: Spring, Summer, Autumn, and Winter. This detailed summary captures the essence of their conversation, punctuated with notable quotes and insights to guide listeners in embracing each season of their lives.

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Introduction: Setting the Stage

The episode begins with Courtney and Renée warmly welcoming their audience to "TMS Live in London," establishing their roles as supportive online sisters committed to nurturing a community focused on holistic wellness and personal development.

Notable Quote:

Courtney [01:05]: "In today's conversation, we are diving into how to embrace your season."

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Spring: Embracing New Beginnings

Themes Covered:

• Planting Seeds: Spring symbolizes new beginnings and the initiation of dreams and aspirations.
• Fragility and Tenderness: Acknowledging the vulnerability that comes with starting something new.
• Protection of Dreams: Importance of safeguarding one's goals from external negativity.

Courtney shares a pivotal moment from her youth, emphasizing the significance of embracing the beauty in every season, a lesson imparted by a friend, Kemi. Renée echoes this sentiment by discussing the whimsical and tender nature of spring, highlighting the necessity of being prepared for unpredictability.

Notable Quotes:

Courtney [04:00]: "There is something beautiful about whatever season that you are in. There is something that you can learn."

Renée [06:53]: "When you start something, it's going to be awkward. You're going to be a beginner. You don't have to be an expert at the beginning."

The hosts delve into the challenges of new endeavors, such as Renee's humorous account of learning to drive, underscoring the awkwardness inherent in the early stages of any project or goal.

Key Insights:

• Embrace Beginnings: Accept that initial stages are often imperfect and that's part of the growth process.
• Protect Your Dreams: Be selective about who you share your aspirations with to prevent early discouragement.
• Hope as a Foundation: Maintaining hope is crucial, even in a world that often leans towards pessimism.

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Summer: Celebrating Joy and Achievements

Themes Covered:

• Joy and Celebration: Summer represents the season of enjoying achievements and embracing joy.
• Overcoming Insecurities: Addressing personal insecurities that hinder the ability to fully enjoy moments of happiness.
• Intentionality in Joy: The importance of actively seeking and celebrating both big and small successes.

Courtney and Renée discuss the cultural and personal barriers to experiencing joy, particularly within predominantly Black communities where expressions of joy can sometimes be suppressed or undervalued. They emphasize the need to celebrate even the smallest victories without waiting for external validation.

Notable Quotes:

Renée [16:18]: "The people that are able to speak life to you... that's part of your protective armor."

Courtney [24:13]: "How do we allow ourselves to receive joy in our summer seasons?"

Key Insights:

• Celebrate Small Wins: Recognize and appreciate minor achievements as steps towards larger goals.
• Seek and Provide Hope: Build a support system that both receives and shares hope, reinforcing community bonds.
• Permission to Enjoy: Grant oneself the freedom to celebrate without guilt or fear of future loss.

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Autumn: Navigating Transitions and Pruning

Themes Covered:

• Transition Periods: Autumn is a time of change, where nature sheds its leaves, mirroring personal transitions.
• Assessing Foundations: Evaluating the strength and resilience of one's relationships, mindset, and endeavors.
• Pruning for Growth: Letting go of what no longer serves to strengthen the foundation for future growth.

The conversation shifts to autumn, with the hosts comparing it to the necessary process of reassessing and refining one's life. Renée uses the analogy of oak trees in the Amazon rainforest to illustrate the importance of strong foundations that withstand seasonal changes.

Notable Quotes:

Renée [39:02]: "Autumn is an opportunity to prepare. Your structure is about to be revealed."

Courtney [42:16]: "If you are firmly rooted, if you have a firm foundation, you will bear fruit when summertime comes."

Key Insights:

• Critical Reassessment: Use this season to evaluate and strengthen the underlying aspects of your life.
• Delayed Gratification: Understand that growth often requires time and that immediate results are not always achievable.
• Root Over Fruit: Focus on building a strong foundation rather than just seeking outward successes.

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Winter: Enduring Harshness and Embracing Protection

Themes Covered:

• Harsh Realities: Winter represents the toughest seasons, marked by challenges and potential loneliness.
• Protection and Support: Emphasizing the need for protective measures, both materially (like jackets) and emotionally (supportive relationships).
• Reinforcement of Foundations: Drawing strength from the groundwork laid in previous seasons to withstand adversity.

Winter is portrayed as a time requiring resilience and the support of a strong community. The hosts discuss practical and metaphorical ways to shield oneself from the coldness of life's hardships, likening emotional support to the warmth provided by a good jacket.

Notable Quotes:

Renée [48:26]: "Winter is really a time of reinforcements. It's really drawing in because there's a nakedness and an exposure that winter brings that necessitates covering."

Courtney [52:56]: "Loneliness and desperation for covering makes you so ready to compromise... don't find yourself finding shelter in something that doesn't have parameters."

Key Insights:

• Seek Appropriate Support: Identify and surround yourself with those who can provide the necessary emotional warmth and protection.
• Set Boundaries: Ensure that the support systems you engage with have healthy boundaries to truly benefit from their protection.
• Prepare for Resilience: Use the strength gained from enduring winter to prepare for future seasons of growth.

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Conclusion: Full Circle and Moving Forward

As the conversation nears its end, Courtney and Renée reflect on the cyclical nature of the seasons and life. They highlight the importance of each season contributing to personal growth and preparing for the next phase.

Notable Quotes:

Renée [55:06]: "That's so good. That's so good. And I think there's only a few things to even add, I think."

Courtney [56:38]: "But allow what you learned in the last season to fertilize the ground. Let it prepare way for the next thing."

The hosts reinforce the idea that each season, regardless of its challenges or joys, plays a crucial role in the continuous cycle of personal development and resilience.

Key Insights:

• Embrace the Cycle: Accept that life moves through different phases, each with its unique lessons and opportunities.
• Integrate Learnings: Use the experiences and wisdom gained from each season to enrich future endeavors.
• Community Support: Continue to lean on and support one another through the ever-changing seasons of life.

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Final Thoughts and Teasers

Courtney and Renée conclude the episode by teasing special announcements and reinforcing their commitment to supporting their listeners through every season of life. They also share lighthearted moments and personal anecdotes, adding warmth to their closing remarks.

Notable Quote:

Courtney [03:59]: "Hold tight for the special announcements at the end because they'll do a whole, like, 360. You think this is a big announcement? Bigger things are coming."

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Overall, this episode of To My Sisters serves as a comprehensive guide to understanding and embracing the various phases of life through the lens of the four seasons. Courtney and Renée offer profound insights, practical advice, and relatable anecdotes, empowering listeners to navigate their personal journeys with resilience, joy, and deepened community connections.

Transcript

[Ryan Reynolds]

Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently I asked Mint Mobile's legal team if big wireless companies are allowed to raise prices due to inflation. They said yes. And then when I asked if raising prices technically violates those onerous two year contracts, they said, what the are you talking about? You insane Hollywood. So to recap, we're cutting the price of mint unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a [e-mail] switch.

[Renee]

$45 upfront payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three month plan only. Taxes and fees. Extra speeds slower above 40 gigabyte C. Details. Hello and welcome to TMS Live in London. I'm Renee.

[Courtney]

And I'm Courtney.

[Renee]

And we are your online sisters and.

[Courtney]

Hosts of the To My Sisters podcast.

[Renee]

Now we are all about promoting the wellness, growth and development of a community of sisters across the world.

[Courtney]

And in today's conversation, we are diving into how to embrace your season. Well.

[Renee]

Yes.

[Courtney]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Renee]

I love that. I love that.

[Courtney]

Zoe, Uva and Beverly. Really? I love the prophetic. Because those girls were jumping into our topic before they even knew what it was.

[Renee]

Literally.

[Courtney]

And when I say that, I mean, it's so easy to compare your season to other people, but I think what they equipped us with is knowing that you need to face your front.

[Renee]

Oh, 100%.

[Courtney]

You need to face the season that is in front of you. Let's be honest.

[Renee]

You can't be looking side to side.

[Courtney]

Because at the end of the day, no matter what your sister or your friend or your enemy is going through, your season hasn't changed, beloved. So you've got to deal with it. Right? And so we're gonna talk to you about how to deal with your season, how to embrace it, how to make the most of spring, summer, autumn, and winter.

[Renee]

Winter.

[Courtney]

Yes, ma'am.

[Renee]

I love that. I love that.

[Courtney]

Thank you.

[Renee]

I guess before we do get into the conversation, it's a little bit bright in here, but there's a certain brightness.

[Courtney]

Get out of here.

[Renee]

There is a certain brightness. Like the start of. I even feel like the person that even proposed to you shall. There is a certain brightness. A radiance, if you will.

[Courtney]

Oh, it's a radiant cup.

[Renee]

Hello. You saw what I did there. There's a radiance.

[Courtney]

Well, we thank God that is upon.

[Renee]

You in this season.

[Courtney]

Reporting to the sisterhood. We are getting married.

[Renee]

Come on.

[Courtney]

I'm getting married.

[Renee]

Listen, guys, I already told Courtney I'm ready to wear my kente. I have been aggressively azontoing in the mirror. You know, the bridal trains where they do the most and the cameras are just. I'm ready to do my bit.

[Courtney]

The footwork, Honestly, I'm grateful for you, though. I'm grateful for you. I think one of the most beautiful things about seasons is learning to identify the beauty in everyone that you are in. Right. And I think one of the most beautiful things about the season that I'm leaving is you. My friendship with you has. And I'm carrying it into this season. You're never getting rid of 100%.

[Renee]

I'm holding on like this. You can't get rid of me. Don't worry.

[Courtney]

Don't worry. First class ticket.

[Renee]

Hello.

[Courtney]

You have been a cornerstone in every season in my life. Honestly. You have seen me through my most lowest points. You've seen me at my highest points. You have been by my side in everything, and vice versa. And I think it's an honor and one of the biggest things I've learned about embracing our seasons and the reason why I think this theme is so amazing for this year. Hold tight for the special announcements at the end because they'll do a whole, like, 360. You think this is a big announcement? Bigger things are coming. I know that's right.

[Renee]

Prayer.

[Courtney]

Yeah. One of the first things I learned when I was kind of studying into this idea of, okay, how do I navigate my seasons? Well. Right. Is there is beauty in every season that you are in. No matter how bad you think life is, there is something beautiful under the rubble of that season. Right. And I actually learned this from somebody who was in the room. And it only hit me today, as I was recording some content with consultridge shout out to consult Ridge, that I learned this from this person who's here, which is Kemi, who is one of Adela's closest friends. And I met Adela at an event she did when I was, like, 21. 21. I just graduated, and Kemi was there, and she was talking about being single.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

And how, you know, a lot of her friends have, you know, experienced marriages or engagements. Adela, I think, at the time, was just about to get married, and I turned to her and I said, what's the key to me really navigating this season?

[Renee]

Well, yeah.

[Courtney]

And she looked me dead in my eye and she said, embrace the beauty of it. And I said, oh. And I've carried that from 21 till now. And I wanted to say, I said thank you to her in the green room, because I think that's one of the most tangible things A lot of us can leave here with. There is something beautiful about whatever season that you are in. There is something that you can learn. There is something you can take away. There are ways that you can suffer. Well, there are ways that you can enjoy. Well. And that's what we want this conversation to be about.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

So let's kick it off with spring. Spring time, spring time, Spring time. Because no matter what, whether you believe in Jesus, whether you don't, whether you're a Christian or you not, whether you are figuring it out or you don't want, wherever you are, wherever you at on the spectrum, seasons are universal.

[Renee]

They are.

[Courtney]

You know, the environment shows us that seasons happen. The world that we live in shows us that seasons happen. Our lives have shown us that season, seasons happen. So it's not about whether you want to go through a season or not, or whether you want your season to change or not. It's going to happen. Your seasons are going to change. And so I want us to start with spring. When things are looking cute like you, friends. When things are looking to romance me.

[Renee]

Today I wasn't prepared.

[Courtney]

I have to. I had. When things are looking cute when suddenly some new desires have sprung into your heart and you're thinking, oh, I have some hope. A powerful word, that hope. I have some hope about my dreams and my aspirations and my plans for the future. How do we navigate spring?

[Renee]

Well, spring, springtime. I love spring because there's a lightness in the air. It's not ridiculously hot like summertime, but it's also not cold that you have to be bringing a jacket. It's a light cardigan type season, which is great.

[Courtney]

I'm born in spring.

[Renee]

Makes sense. I was born in winter, but I cosplay as a summer baby. So if you ask me, my birthday is genuinely in summer, but I was born in February. But yeah, there's a lightness about spring that I think that we are almost like a whimsicalness. You know, it's giving cottage core, you know, that whole enjoying the lightness of the season. I think sometimes we can take our spring so seriously. And this is not to negate the fact that it is a serious season. It's seed sowing season. Right. It's the time that you put things into the ground. But I think sometimes we are so focused on the seriousness that we forget that it's actually meant to be a light season. I think also understanding that there's multiple seeds that you'll be planting at the same time as well. So you can't expect everything to grow at the same rate. I think sometimes when we start off with spring, we put our seeds into the ground, we're like, I'm going to do 10 different things at the beginning of this year, and they're all going to happen simultaneously at the same time, and they're going to yield the same results at the same time. When you look at flower beds or when you look at anything that grows. Take a tomato field by chance, yeah, very, very random. But take a tomato field by chance or anything that produces fruit, they don't produce fruit at the same time. So I think there is that. Lowering our expectations of what we need to produce and focusing on the planting as opposed to the production in spring. I think also there is and importance in embracing how tender that time is. It's an awkward time, right? Like I'm trying something new for the first time. I'm embracing that springness, I think embracing the fact that there will be awkward times when we are planting those seeds, that we're actually not going to get things right in the beginning. So, for example, I've started very, very late to learn how to drive. And when I first guys, it's a.

[Courtney]

Life skill and necessary. Can we give her an applause?

[Renee]

Oh, thank you. It's fine.

[Courtney]

And I say that because I'm going to be a passenger princess.

[Renee]

So there's an ulterior motive here. Clearly, at the beginning, when I first started learning how to drive, could you have been a passenger princess? I would advise against it.

[Courtney]

I wouldn't even trust you.

[Renee]

I would very much advise against it. Me even being in the vehicle, I didn't feel comfortable being in my own vehicle, driving it. But there's a tenderness and an awkwardness that has to be experienced and overcome before we can expect ourselves to be producing fruit. So I think embracing that when you start something, it's going to be awkward. You're going to be a beginner. You don't have to be an expert at the beginning. In fact, it's better that you're a learner so that you can learn quickly. And I think for me, and I'm sure for quite a few people in the room, it's hard starting again, and it's hard starting things because you're at the beginning. Everybody wants to be at the end. And oftentimes when we look on social media, when we look at people's lives, we see an end version, but there's a beginning and we need to embrace being at the beginning and being a beginner. And that's what spring really evokes for me.

[Courtney]

I love that and I love that you touched on the whole, like, especially in the uk, spring, you don't know if it's going to be hot outside, if it's going to be cold outside, if it's going to start off hot, then end up cold in the day. It's very confusing.

[Renee]

It's too much.

[Courtney]

Get me out of here. But I love that you said that, because it's true. With spring, you need to be so equipped and so prepared for whatever could come. Because I think what's beautiful about that analogy of the season where you sow seeds, when seeds are in their fragile state, the smallest gust of wind could just take them out of where they've been buried. And I think with a lot of us, I don't think we equip ourselves properly for the road ahead. And then any small inconvenience or any minor discouragement and we're like, oh, can't do this no more. I just don't want. I want to give up on my goals, you know, and it's like, what did you expect? Winds blow all the time. People always have opinions and things to say. And I love that you touched on the fragility of that moment because has anybody here ever had a child, Shout out to the moms in the room, shout out to the women who have given birth, held a baby, hello, have tried, honestly, it's not easy. But when newborns are born, they're so fragile, you don't just give them to anybody. And I think sometimes with our dreams, we just give them to anybody. We tell it to anybody, we allow anybody to speak into them, nurture them.

[Renee]

Touch them, not bring back evil eye.

[Courtney]

I'm not even saying bring back evil eye. I'm saying bring back protection, bring back privacy, bring back incubation. Right. I've actually gotten an idea. I need to incubate it. My sister, shout out to Mary in the corner over there. Love you, girl. My youngest sister was born prematurely, and when my mom went into hospital at like 20 something weeks, my sister was obviously born, she was breathing, she was alive, she was called for a purpose. She was going to achieve everything that she is now. She's about to graduate as a midwife with the first class period. Hallelujah, we've come far. She was going to do all of that stuff. But in that period, though, the seed was in her for this destiny. She had to be incubated because if she doesn't make it past this season, she's not Going to become all of these things. So we have to deal with the prematurity and the fragility now. Right. And so she went into this incubator which was helping her breathe, and it was giving her body the right temperature. And we had to be very careful about who she's. In a glass box. Not everyone can touch. You can see, but you can't touch. And there's a difference. Some people can see, but they can't touch. And I think we allow so many people to touch things that are not ready to be touched because they're fragile. Right. And we have to be very discerning about who we allow to have that kind of intimacy with our goals and intimacy with our seeds. There are some people who can cheer from the back, and there are some people who need to be up close to be like, is this vein okay? Are they breathing? What's their respiratory rate? All these medical terms. I don't know. Ask the girls that were on the.

[Renee]

Couch before the pharmacists.

[Courtney]

Oh, you know what I mean? I just make content online. So I think we need to be careful about who we allow to have access when things are not necessarily just premature, but fragile. And we can't get into this habit of sharing prematurely when we haven't made sure that the protective parameters are in place. Especially if you're a people pleaser and people's opinions sway you. This 2024, I have learned people's opinions matter to me way too much, and I've had to unlearn it. I've been dealing aggressively with it because people's opinions kill seeds. That's the biggest thing that will snatch a seed from the ground early.

[Renee]

Too quick.

[Courtney]

Like, think about tms right when we started it, obviously, you guys, we've been backed from early. Our friends, we're surrounded by amazing people.

[Renee]

Actually, in the room as well.

[Courtney]

They are. Shout out to you guys. Shout out to our friends and our family who have believed in this vision.

[Renee]

From the jump when they didn't quite understand what we were going.

[Courtney]

Yeah, they didn't have a clue. Some of them still don't really get it. But this is kind of what we do. So imagine in that period how many people were like, oh, okay, so you're starting a podcast. That's cute. That's nice. That's great. And in that season, we said, we're girls with Oxbridge degrees, you know? Yeah, like, we should go and work in big, big, big companies. Big companies with big salaries and big cars. I'm telling you, that's What I want for this season of my life, tapping into that annoyances. Hallelujah. Somebody released the prayer. Susan, if that comes into your spirit later as you pray, please release that word to me. The big cars are the big money. Personally, anyways. Imagine in that period if we allowed other people's opinions of where we should be. You had just got your masters from Harvard. Right. You had just got rejected from really good job in the States. Imagine if you allow people's opinions to sway you away from doing this. Because what was in that seed of the mics clip to my windowsill was this. But we would have killed that so early because people's opinions, people's perspective of what we're doing. And I think I'm saying all this to say the only perspective that matters in your season is yours.

[Renee]

Yep.

[Courtney]

That's the perspective that's going to make or break this season. So when it comes to your spring, I really need you to honor the delicacy and the fragility of the seeds you've put in the ground and the idea that God's put in your heart and the thought that you have to bring to life. And I need you to hold on to that hope. But speaking about hope, why is hope so hard? Because I feel like we live in a really pessimistic era.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

You know, the girls are on the tick tock talking about that men are trash and, you know, cost of living. And I get it, these things are reality. Yeah, some men are very much trashy, but it feels like there's an air of pessimism. Talk to us about pessimism and hope.

[Renee]

Aside from us being in the United Kingdom, you know, because you look outside and it's gray by 4pm it's dark now. So, you know, it's very difficult to have hope when, you know, 5pm rolls around and everything is shut and closed and the sun is now also rising at, you know, 12:00pm but so we have limited hours of sunlight in which that hope can really be enjoyed. But I think hope is sometimes difficult when the prevailing narratives always suggest otherwise. I think as much as, again, social media and communities and people have been so connected. Unfortunately, negativity pays the bills. Like, you go online, something is happening, somebody has done something negative. The entertainment industry is in shambles because of various shady individuals that I have mentioned on the podcast numerous times by name.

[Courtney]

I've told you so not be afraid. You can say the name, child.

[Renee]

I'm not trying to disappear too quick. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm trying to stick around for another four years at least. You know what I'm saying? And just to let you guys know, I am in my right mind in case any narrative comes out. That's an alternative. But when the prevailing narratives that you are exposed to are negative, it becomes great breeding ground for hopelessness. The stories that we are constantly being beleaguered with are ones of desolation.

[Courtney]

That's a good word, Beleaguered. Hey, have that, babe. Beleaguered.

[Renee]

I'm just trying to signpost my vocabulary. It's not every day you get to do it. You know what I'm saying? We're battling hopelessness sometimes. No, but genuinely, I think beleaguered is the word because there's a pummeling down almost of negativity. We are constantly being. We constantly have all of these narratives that are reinforcing. You know, you're doing too much. We constantly are surrounded by people with, you know, limiting mindsets, and it's difficult when that's what everybody is consuming. It's so funny how fast bad news travels. For every one bad news, I'm sure there's like, 20 positive stories. But it's always the bad news and the bad things that we give air time, that we give space in our mind. It really reminds me of a quote that goes, we often write good things in the sand, but we write bad things in stone. So the sense of permanence that we etch bad things that happen to us, whereas the good things come and we don't even enjoy them. We don't really even rock with them. It's not something that's important.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

And I think there is that pervasive sense of lack of hope because we're not intentional about surrounding ourselves with hope. It's something that we can actually choose to have. And I think because it's hard, especially when it's easy to have access to hopelessness, that we choose the latter. Let's just go with the easy story. Let's go with the negative stuff. Like, even when we think about, like, romantic relationships, how many times are we hearing, this person is divorcing, this person is an adulterer, this person has been caught doing God knows what that they probably should not be doing and they need more accountability for. But that's another topic entirely. How many times do we. How many times do we hear those stories? But so rarely do we hear the stories of the marriages that do last or the relationships that do work or the people that have been able to overcome. So I Think there is an intentionality about drawing hope and good things to you. We have to actively choose to bring good things into our lives. And I think it really is so pertinent to the theme of embracing our seasons, that intentionality piece. For you to enjoy and embrace a season, you have to be intentional about it. Your season will not just. I mean, your season will come, but whether you accept it and you enjoy it is down to you. So I think there's a necessity of intentionality. We have to surround ourselves with good people. I love the point that you were making around the fragility of spring and the importance of surrounding yourself with protection. Finding hope is a form of protection. The people that are able to speak life to you. Courtney is a great example of one person in my life that brings me hope because she knows how to speak life into me. When I'm discouraged, I go to Courtney. I'm like, you're Courtney. You think I have words now when I'm going through it and I'm emotional? I ain't got nothing to say. Have you ever been so, like, sad or emotional that you're literally, like, crying? It's literally sounding like a soundtrack of sadness, just a symphony of your tears. And having people around you to be able to speak hope into you is so important because that's part of your protective armor. It's almost like employing people into your own personal army, right? Making sure that they have the right equipment to handle and take care of you when you've been beaten by the blows that life deals us. So it's really seeing people, but also making sure that your armor is strong enough to not just help yourself, but also help other people. So I think hope also goes both ways. Ways in that you have to be intentional about grabbing the moments of hope, but you also have to be intentional about spreading hope to other people as well, because that's what community is. That's what sisterhood is. It's. We're both deciding to choose hope. And when you are lagging behind, when you are out here crying and you can't see, I have enough vision for the both of us in this moment and the next season ahead or the next time we're facing something that's challenging. You have enough vision for both of us. So it's making sure that you're intentional, but also making sure that you're reciprocating and trying to be a beacon of hope for people around you, too.

[Courtney]

Come on. That's so good. That's why she's my best friend.

[Renee]

Pastoral Clap. You know what I'm saying?

[Courtney]

We're actually really in our first lady era. I love it. Are you seeing the outfits, fam?

[Renee]

Who was it? I think it was Ohara. He was like her Nubian queen. And I said, is it because my hair is out that you're saying? That's what I'm saying.

[Courtney]

It's giving regal shout out to wardrobe warehouse. That's where our outfits are from, period. Well, well, well. Let's pivot. I love that you talked about enjoyment. Because let's talk about summer.

[Renee]

Oh, summertime.

[Courtney]

Oftentimes when you talk about seasons and enjoying and, you know, enjoying seasons while embracing season, people just think about their negative because, you know, when you're going through something, don't worry. It's just a season. It's just a season.

[Renee]

It's just.

[Courtney]

Get your filthy hand away from me.

[Renee]

Sorrows, Sorrows.

[Courtney]

Prayers, Prayers. But seasons are also beautiful.

[Renee]

They are.

[Courtney]

Sometimes seasons are about enjoyment. Right? And I think, especially as a community that is predominantly black women, an emotion we're denied is joy.

[Renee]

Yes.

[Courtney]

Sometimes we're not allowed to enjoy things the way we want to, even from our own community. Sometimes it's, you're doing too much.

[Renee]

Yeah, relax.

[Courtney]

Or my dad's favorite thing. Whenever you tell my dad you have good news, the next thing is, ah, onto the next. What do you mean, what's next? I'm even still catching my breath from this last.

[Renee]

This one almost took me out. You're asking me about next time I'm here.

[Courtney]

Enjoy this. Ha.

[Renee]

We go again.

[Courtney]

No, we don't. We went this time. Stop here. And it's like, we don't take times to really clap for ourselves. Like, even growing up as Africans, it's like, ah, clap for yourself. And it's like, is that an insult or genuine?

[Renee]

Or is it. Did you really want me to clap?

[Courtney]

Do you know what I mean? And it's like, yo, how many times are we actually allowed seasons of joy, seasons to clap for ourselves? Seasons of applause, seasons of. Yes, sis, you did that.

[Renee]

Yeah, you did.

[Courtney]

Like, you went through a hard season. And now we're in summer, baby. Take your good colored wig, your blonde braids, put on a nice shoe and go and shake a leg.

[Renee]

20 color. 27 specifically.

[Courtney]

Thank you very much. Mixed with some 613 and a subtle shade of eight.

[Renee]

Justin. A good blend. It has to be a good blend.

[Courtney]

But we don't embrace those seasons of joy. How do we allow ourselves to receive joy in our summer seasons?

[Renee]

Receiving joy in our summer seasons. I think that's a tough one because it requires us to understand what is preventing us from enjoying the moment. And I think when you go back, you realize that it's deeper than initially it seems. Is it self sabotage? Is it a fear that this season will come and go and in order for you to prepare yourself for what feels like inevitably this joy will end? I'm gonna get to the end more quickly, so it's almost like I'm trying to process the fact that things are going to get difficult soon, so I should mentally prepare and just ignore that. Oh yeah, Summertime, you know, it's not even, it's not, it's not that deep. Not at all. Let's just don't celebrate yourself. Move on.

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[Renee]

And I think that's really dangerous because we become so again, preoccupied on the negative stuff, the negativity just in general. And we really do need to make it a priority of celebrating ourselves and celebrating the good stuff that we do, but also the good seasons that we are in as the people that we are. I think sometimes we can also be very achievement oriented where it's like, okay, now that I've achieved this, that's the end of the joy. It's not about actually, you know, enjoying it. It's almost like buying a car or like saving up to buy a car. Ah, I've achieved this. Will you not drive that car around? What's the point in buying a Mercedes if you can't be driving around to pepper your enemies. Small. Small. You need to have. Do you know what I mean? There's a certain level of enjoyment if you're constantly. Or, you know, like when you get Air Force forces. Yeah. The crisp, white air forces. It's tough because you want to maintain the whiteness of those air forces. I've seen the way that people are tiptoeing when they get just.

[Courtney]

Just to avoid the crease.

[Renee]

Just to avoid the crease. And it's. You're already preparing for the bad thing that has not happened. So we're dealing. You don't even wear your shoes properly. You're literally. You know, when you're wearing your shoes, it's like a shoe is too small for you and, like, half of your foot is, like, outside. That's how some of us are wearing our air forces, but that's also how some of us are approaching joy in our seasons. It's something that we can only wear partially because we are afraid. And it is about confronting the fears. Is it the fear that you are inadequate? Is it the fear that you are underprepared for a coming season? Or is it a fear that deep down you don't feel like you deserve to be celebrated? It's like, oh, yeah, I did that. But because my worth is in the constancy of achievement, if I don't achieve the next big thing, then this is but a fleeting moment that I can't enjoy. So I think it is divorcing ourselves and our identities from having to constantly achieve and seeing life as you said, in seasons, where I've actually got a season to rest and enjoy. I have a season to be outside with, you know, my color, 613 and 27. You know, whatever. Blonde, honey blonde, ash blonde, the girl. Whichever blonde suits your joy. Whichever blonde suits your joy. I have. I'm giving myself permission. I think also permission is a big thing.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

And that many of us are almost unconsciously waiting for somebody else to give us permission to celebrate. It's like, until I'm validated by somebody else, is this even worth celebrating? And we need to find the small moments to celebrate as well. And I think not waiting for. For big stuff. I celebrate small things all the time. I've really gotten into the habit of it this year. One thing about me, I'm obsessed right now. Cafe Nero is so tired of me. Like, genuinely tired of me. And I hope that they hear this unsponsor me, because I've spent a lot. No, no. I've Spent a lot of money there. No, but you know those tweets as well that are like, if you just give up your five pound coffee, you'll be able to purchase a house. I feel like that was directed specifically to one that goes to Cafe Nero by the name of Renee. So. And I love me a good Cafe Nero pistachio latte. And I like it. It's the best. If guys tell them that Renee sent you, get the word out there. I love it. And I celebrate having like a moment to do that. Right. It doesn't have to be, oh my God, I bought a new car or like, oh my gosh, Even with like tms, for example, example, not necessarily just celebrating the big stuff, but also celebrating the small stuff. It's like, oh my gosh. Like, for me, it means all the more when somebody comes to us with like a testimony of like, oh, I listened to you guys podcast and I was able to have a really deep conversation with my mom. And we cried, we fought, but we healed. That means so much to me. And to be able to celebrate the small stuff is important. So I think there is something in celebrating the small stuff. There is something in overcoming the fear that this is just a seasonal thing and that you won't ever feel joy again in your life.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

And I think allowing yourself to live in the moment, stop constantly living in the future, because one thing about the future is the future is going to come. But take your time with it.

[Courtney]

Come on. That's so good.

[Renee]

But how about you, friend?

[Courtney]

Summer's great, but I remember growing up, I used to hate summer.

[Renee]

Really?

[Courtney]

As a, as a spring baby who loved. Really? Yeah. I used to hate summer. So if you're a plus sized baby in this place, one of our biggest place of insecurity is our arms. Sometimes depending on, you know, your shape and how you feel about your body. And I, my most insecure, my biggest insecurity in my body is around my arms, Right. And so I would never wear summer clothes. Everything had to be a long sleeve. I remember Eva, I had a. I used to have a best friend called Shannon. She was Irish shout out to her multiculturalism. She was Irish shout out to the girls in Ireland.

[Renee]

Yeah, you just wanted to say that.

[Courtney]

To say Ireland how you say it. So yeah, I had an Irish friend called Shannon. I used to go over to her house and I like in the summertime, we used to be ragamuffins, right. She would just be like, let's go and take the bus from Woodgreen to London Bridge. Because that's a day out.

[Renee]

That's a long day.

[Courtney]

You've got a family. Exactly. You've got a free Oyster cards. You don't have to worry about anything.

[Renee]

Wow.

[Courtney]

It's summertime. Free.

[Renee]

Always.

[Courtney]

Six weeks of nothingness. So we'll just sit on the bus and so I'd go to her house. She used to live on my estate. Yeah, I'll go to her house. It could be the middle of August. Why am I in a white puffer jacket? You know when my puffed up and said, man's not hot. That was me on the block.

[Renee]

Wow. Yeah.

[Courtney]

And my puffer jacket had fur.

[Renee]

Just conducting heat. Anyhow.

[Courtney]

In August. Yeah. Okay. So I go to the house and her mom would look at me like, you know, hot. You know, hot. What are you going through? No, it's a part of the fit. Because it was also white. So it was a part of the fit. Do you know what I mean? And she's like, it's a bit hot outside. I know, Laura. I walked here from my house to this block. I'm already sweating. But we would go. And I remember, it's like, why are so many of my memories of summer so associated with discomfort? Because I didn't allow myself to embrace the fact that it's summer because of my insecurities. And I think a lot of us don't allow ourselves to feel joy because we're insecure about whether this joy will be robbed from us by something. Right. And we're going to get into autumn and winter. But one thing, Auto and winter can make you feel. These leaves on this tree can fall off at any time. They're careful. Oh, you think you're pretty now? You know these flowers are here. You think you've bloomed. We can strip it all back. And the truth is, no, it can't. Because the same way autumn seasons and winter seasons are inevitable. So are summer seasons.

[Renee]

Exactly.

[Courtney]

It's. If it started snowing in summer, we would be scared for our lives. We would say, what is going on? Exactly. We. Because we have an understanding of times and seasons and principles. It's summer. It is my summer season now. So why am I afraid of the cold? Why do I have PTSD about something that was in a past season? And I think a lot of us think that negativity is attracted to us way more than positive things. That actually my enemy's prayers can work better than my own prayers.

[Renee]

Crazy.

[Courtney]

That my. The witches in the village have more power than the God I pray to at night.

[Renee]

There's a lot of witches that are.

[Courtney]

Working, apparently, but they ain't as big as my God.

[Renee]

Hallelujah.

[Courtney]

Hallelujah.

[Renee]

That part.

[Courtney]

Okay. But so this understanding. Thank you. So this understanding that when God has answered a prayer, He's God.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

So why would he let somebody run upon him and be like, oh, we're just going to come and snatch it away? It only happens when he allows it. And in this season, he's saying, I ain't allowing that to happen. This is her summer. So snow, hold back, bear, trees hold back, emptiness hold back. This is her summer season. Right. And so realizing that my summer season is as real as my winter season and I need to embrace it because seasons do come to an end.

[Renee]

They do.

[Courtney]

They really do. And I think sometimes we just deny ourselves it because we're so scared something bad is going to happen. If I share. Oh, guys, this engagement thing, I was ask these, my friends, it's one week old. It happened last Saturday. And this whole week I've been battling in my mind, am I going to share this? Am I going to share this? And the biggest issue, I talk to my mentors, my spiritual advisors, my friends about it. And everyone was saying, you don't want to share it because you're scared. You're scared that this thing is not going to go well. You're scared that one day, the experience that has never happened before, before. One day you're gonna have to come on back on the Internet and be like, prank, Psych, we go again.

[Renee]

We regret to inform you that.

[Courtney]

But also, even if that were to happen, God forbid, God, you know, my cry. We talk every night. Even if that was to happen, even if that was to happen, what's stopping me from embracing the fact that I'm currently in my summer.

[Renee]

Yeah, exactly.

[Courtney]

Why can't I allow. And I remember I went through a. We went through a. The testimony will come out at some point. But. And if you. In our personal community, you know, but we went through a really challenging season at the end of last year, like I will be in all honesty, and that my partner knows that and has given me permission to say this. So, you know, I will. But I ended last year in heartbreak. I entered into this year crying because of how. What Uva was saying. God, I'm mad at you. There are some things I expected from last year which you did not do for me. I didn't see this year going this way. Right. And so I know what it is to feel the sharpness of winter. You have held me in my Times of tears and brokenness and us crying out to God together for other things. And why would I deny myself the warmth of this summer when I know the coldness of winter? And if the season has shifted, even if it shifts again, my summer's here.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

So let me take myself and let me enjoy it. Because the thing that will help me get through the winter that may be coming, whatever form it takes, is remembering I had a summer. And summer will happen again.

[Renee]

There you go.

[Courtney]

Do you get what I mean? So I think it's important to remind yourself. It's important to remind yourself that there is beauty in every season. One of the beautiful, most beautiful things you can experience is joy.

[Renee]

Is joy.

[Courtney]

Is joy that you deserve. But after summer gets the kick out because, you know, we're in the uk, as we said, autumn says. Hey, what's up, sis? Did you forget about me?

[Renee]

Your brown ass leaves crazy.

[Courtney]

Let the leaves turn brown and let some things that were beautiful begin to wither away.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

How do we deal with the withering oasis season? I'm talking about when things start to crack a little bit and we start to think things are going well. But what's this challenge?

[Renee]

Things are starting to be a bit difficult. It's funny you said autumn. I was just thinking of, like, pumpkin spice latte. I'm such a consumer.

[Courtney]

I'm telling you, every season has beautiful things. Now. I hate that.

[Renee]

You hate it.

[Courtney]

I hate it. I remember I got my first pumping spice latte from a coffee shop that will not be named Starbucks.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

And it was bad. Now, Starbucks, I love you. If you ever want to sponsor this show, go ahead because I love your other drinks. That brown sugar shaken espresso latte thing they got going on, fantastic. But that pumpkin spice, I'm a be controversial.

[Renee]

I really don't like Starbucks.

[Courtney]

That's fine. I'm not. I'm not their marketer. I don't.

[Renee]

She said, I don't get a commission.

[Courtney]

I won't die on that hill.

[Renee]

No, I just think Starbucks.

[Courtney]

It's fine. You've made your love for Cafe Nero clear, however.

[Renee]

Yeah, yeah, Cafe Nero. There's also, like other coffee chains. So Costa. Anyway, autumn, we're talking about autumn. Autumn is hard because you're navigating a season of transition. It's not quite cold yet all the time. Or it might be warm in the morning, but cold in the evening.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

It is really a time of transition where, as you mentioned, things are starting to feel a little bit uncomfortable and you're almost catching wind of an approaching coldness. To me, autumn is an opportunity to prepare. Your structure is about to be revealed. When I think of autumn, and I think you correctly articulated that autumn is a time of stripping away. And to me, winter is a time of nakedness and. And bareness. So it's understanding that this is a time for me to prepare my foundation, because my foundation is about to be exposed. If you have been focusing on the cosmetic things, the leaves, the fruits, all of these things that often occur in season, that means that when these things shed, you'll have nothing left. So autumn, to me is a time to do root work. We're thinking about our mindset. We are thinking about our approach to things. We're thinking about our relationships with people. Where are these things rooted? What is the foundation of these things? Do these things have the capacity to stand withering? Do these things have the capacity to stand tough times? So this is really a time, I think, for a lot of us to assess the foundations of a lot of things in our lives. And it's going to look very uncomfortable and very, like, awkward and weird. And it's not always going to be, like, perfect. Like, relationships are not always going to be perfect, and people are not going to be perfect. But what is actually there when you remove everything? When I think about my relationship with, like, you, for example, you look glorious today. Absolutely fantastic.

[Courtney]

God bless.

[Renee]

And.

[Courtney]

God bless.

[Renee]

You're actually such a first lady. Oh, God bless.

[Courtney]

Thank you.

[Renee]

God bless. Bless you.

[Courtney]

Thank you.

[Renee]

My administration. When I think about somebody like you, you are utterly beautiful outside.

[Courtney]

Thank you.

[Renee]

But the question is, are you beautiful inside?

[Courtney]

I hope.

[Renee]

Yes. Thank you, girl. We've made it a very long time. I think I would have told you.

[Courtney]

It's actually so true.

[Renee]

But we've also had seasons and times in our friendship and in our lives where we've had to tell each other, ooh, your foundation. Or, like, there's areas that need to be gathered together, because I don't think that you will last the winter. That's the autumn time. The autumn time is a time of pruning. This is a time to say, okay, cool, let's clip away at this, clip away at that, clip away at this. So that when your springtime and your summertime does come, I will bear fruit. It's so funny because we often look at fruit as an indicator of bearing fruit, when really we should be looking. Looking at root as indicator of bearing fruit. If you are firmly rooted, if you have a firm foundation, if the nutrients are going to the soil, you will bear Fruit when summertime comes. But if you're so focused on someone's fruit, this is why, again, social media, what people look like externally, what people are doing outside doesn't matter because when the time of exposure comes, if you haven't been doing the pruning, if you haven't been doing the cutting away, you will fall away and you will not be able to bear fruit again. In fact, you will have to end. You'll end up replanting.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

When I look at some of these incredible oak trees that stand, they are huge, humongous, Thinking about like Amazon rainforest, all them trees that have been there for the longest time, they don't look how they look in summer, how they look in an autumn or a winter, etc. But they retain their height and they retain their structure and their capacity to bear fruit. That is the essence of autumn. Can you retain your capacity in times of pruning? Can you retain your foundation in times of pruning? Can you retain your relationships in time of pruning? Can you retain your mindset in times of pruning? We get so used to having our fill of fruit, we get so used to, you know, just having our fill of everything that we forget what it feels like to lack or we forget what it feels feels like to have something denied to us or we forget the importance of delayed gratification. So to me, autumn is really a time for us as individuals, as women, as whatever, to do a critical reassessment of what lies within and coming back to our friendship and our relationship. I can tell you that Courtney is beautiful inside and out because she's lasted all these seasons with me. You've lasted and you're standing tall and so the structure is still there and so have inside and out, guys.

[Courtney]

I don't know why she says it like this. Being friends with Renee is the easiest thing on the planet. No, you. If anybody withers is me. Ah, guys, I'm complex.

[Renee]

That is not true.

[Courtney]

But nah, for real. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think touching on the fact that autumn is a time of transition is so true. Like I was recently. My favorite, as you know, my favorite fruit is grapes. Yeah, mangoes. And then it's really serious. Did someone say same grape lovers stand up. I me and a punnet of grapes. Give it to me now. If it wasn't for Sainsbury's closing open, I would get some. I had some yesterday. Anyways, I was putting into chat GPT. Where is the best place to go for the best grapes and in what season. I'm being serious. This love extends further dedication. Most people, thank you very much. But in my lifetime, I want to experience the best of the thing that I love and someone needs to take that. You know what I mean? If you like chocolate, go to the best place. I hear it.

[Renee]

I do this.

[Courtney]

Thank you very much. You say you do the same with coffee. Renee loves a cheeky trip to Milan. She's like, I'm going to Italy. What's the first thing we'll get? Coffee.

[Renee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Courtney]

So give yourself the best. You know you deserve that. Anyways, me and Chat GPT are having this conversation. Sorry, but if you have not used chapter Chat GPT for conversational purposes, you're missing, you are missing out. And also if you go into your settings, you can give it more context about who you are. So. No, no, for real. I told Chief Chat GPT Listen, I'm a 27 year old Christian woman. When you're talking to me, adjust me properly because then it can take advice and all of that.

[Renee]

I know the FBI agent assigned to your Chat GPT is like, I don't care.

[Courtney]

I'm not telling her anything you don't know about me.

[Renee]

I'm screaming.

[Courtney]

Anyways, so as I'm talking to about where to find the best grapes, it was like, oh, the best time, the best place to go for grapes is it's in Italy or the south of France. But it's at the end of summer. And I think what was interesting, I was thinking, why don't I go in the middle of summer? Because they're the most ripe when it's about to go out of season. Right. A lot of us need to carry the best of what summer had to offer into autumn.

[Renee]

Come on now.

[Courtney]

Because things are about to become unavailable. Time, energy, ah, I don't know. The vitamin D deficient babes. As soon as that sun starts setting, I don't have as much energy as I had just a few weeks ago.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Let alone now when the sun is setting at 4pm do you get what I mean? I actually need to carry the best of my last season into this season so I can enjoy this season. Well, and one of the biggest principles about seasons, which I learned was from Joseph in the Bible. And you know when he's given that prophecy or that interpretation of the dream to Pharaoh and he said, you know, the dreams that you're having means that we're going to experience seven years of abundance as a nation and then seven years of famine, there's going to be nothing. Right. And he's like, but don't worry. You don't have to worry about the famine because if we just take 20% of the abundance we can get through the famine, we'll be good. And I think that's such a powerful principle. The key to withstanding your next season is in the abundance of this season. If you can find what you can carry, the lessons that you can take, the people that you can build relationships with, the resources, the money, whatever it is, if you can take and store and save wisely in this season, the next season, you don't have to worry about when the things wither away. You'll have the best grapes still around.

[Renee]

That's so random.

[Courtney]

Yeah. Because even when the trees are empty, you'll still have some residue of when it was fruitful. You'll still have a reminder of when things were good. You'll still have something to help you through the transition. And a lot of us don't navigate our seasons well because we don't transition well. It feels like an abrupt change in season.

[Renee]

Yeah. We weren't prepared.

[Courtney]

Do you get what I mean? You weren't prepared. But when it turns to autumn and it gets a bit colder, we don't start going crazy because you have your winter jacket in your wardrobe. You're prepared. You don't need to go crazy when you're prepared. You just take it as it is. So then let's talk about winter. Because winter is harsh. Winter will come and tell you, baby, there's a final boss at the end of the year and that's me. What are you saying?

[Renee]

What are you saying? And the way the winter has been wintering in the UK recently is a lot for context.

[Courtney]

Yeah. In where we live, we live near high rise buildings. The Lord has really changed our story. Shout out to us on the high floors, but as soon as you step out of that place, the wind that will be throwing you like this, you.

[Renee]

Know, when you have to brace your core, when you're. It's a serious winter.

[Courtney]

Yeah, winter is serious. But how do you deal with the harshness, sometimes the unexpectedness and sometimes the loneliness of your winter seasons?

[Renee]

You need to get a jacket.

[Courtney]

Hallelujah.

[Renee]

And no, no, no, no. In all seriousness, you need to get a jacket. And shout out to my mom, who's actually in the crowd today. I love my mom a lot. She is a wonderful human being. But one thing about my mom, she don't let any of us leave the house without a jacket. That's A good mom because it's cold outside. And she literally is appalled by the notion of even stepping outside without a jacket. And mind you, my mom is Nigerian, so the cold that we're experiencing is. Anyway, and going shopping with. I went. Actually went shopping, and I FaceTimed my mum, and I was like, mom, what kind of jacket should I get? And she was like, renee, it's gonna get cold. So you need to make sure that you have a serious winter jacket, like reinforcements. And my current winter jacket, guys, is not for fashion. Courtney has seen it. It's definitely given Russian military.

[Courtney]

It's given centipede. The jacket is down to here, and it's black, and it has a big hood, and she wears it like this. I love it.

[Renee]

For you, though, I definitely look like Michelin Man. Like, it's actually. I genuinely look like a centipede. But I am comfy and I am warm, and I am protected. The key to surviving winter is getting protection. Drawing on the protection that you have now, your jacket can be made up of different things and different materials. It's the people around you that you have around you that can be a big material to your winter jacket.

[Courtney]

That's good.

[Renee]

Too. Many of us are entering into winter unprotected. We need to pick up a jacket. Like, if I'm cold, oh, my God, I'm so cold. What do I do? We need to seek warmth. We seek warmth in interactions. We seek warmth in the people that we have around us. We seek warmth in some of our comforts. Winter is really a time of reinforcements. It's really drawing in because there's a nakedness and an exposure that winter brings that necessitates covering. You need to draw on your covering in winter. Yeah, so that's where I was going with the jacket. The jacket is a cover. You need to tap into your cover because it's cold and it's harsh and it hurts. But you can be padded against that when you draw into your covering. So.

[Courtney]

Good.

[Renee]

I'm gonna land it here. Just go ahead. You know, our time is fast spent. One thing about us is we can natter on. But as we are in winter season, I would really want everyone here to think about who is your covering and also how can you be a covering to other people? Yeah, because winter jackets are made up of different materials. You might have a, you know, a wind breaker in winter, because where we live is very windy. So I'm in need covering that is appropriate for the type of winter that I'm experiencing. You might be experiencing a Winter that has a lot of rain. Those are my least favorite types of winter because it's cold already, and now it's raining as well. It's just doing too much, and it's attacking me on all sides. I get overwhelmed pretty quickly, and now I'm being beat by rain. So you need a jacket that's appropriate for that, and the material needs to be appropriate for that, too. You get the kind of winters that are, okay, it's a little bit sunny, you know, it's not as biting, but it's still kind of cold, and it gets colder in the evening. You need an appropriate material for that too. You may be made of a different material that could be the covering for somebody else's winter. So you're experiencing a windy winter. I'm experiencing a rainy winter. I have the materials for a windy winter. You have the materials for a rainy winter. Let's cover each other. That is the key to overcoming winter.

[Courtney]

Yeah. That was so good. That was so good. And I think there's. There's only a few things to even add, I think. I love that you talked about covering and how the material of the covering and the jacket is people. Right? Because winter comes with so much loneliness once you're shut inside. I think earlier, like, the. During the icebreaker was like, coughing season. You know, it's winter, everybody wants to get booed up, and we need people because we realize that winter can be lonely. Right? It's when you're cold that you need people to make you warm. Right. But loneliness can make you compromise. Loneliness can make you give up on a dream.

[Renee]

Booed up with people. You have no business being booed up with, Renee.

[Courtney]

As if you look around and you think, who is this dusty, you know, smelling? If you say, please, get off me, I don't know what I was doing. But you did it when you were lame, lonely. Open your eyes.

[Renee]

You shine your eye.

[Courtney]

Well, please, no. Loneliness and desperation for covering makes you so ready to compromise, Right? Whether it be in a relationship, whether it be in the community, whether it be in your standards, whether. Whatever it is, there's this longing to not be alone and not weather the harshness of winter alone so much that makes you want to find shelter in just anybody. But not every shelter is safe. Just because it's a covering doesn't mean it's safe. Some shelters don't have doors, they don't have boundaries, they don't have walls. They don't have things that can keep you safe. And so don't find yourself finding shelter in something that doesn't have parameters, something that doesn't have boundaries, something that doesn't have expectations, actually find yourself expressing what you need in winter and finding something that will actually satisfy those needs and not just because it's available. Just because there's a jacket on the shelf in a store doesn't mean that it's the jacket you need for the storm. It doesn't mean that's the jacket you need for this season. And so I think a lot of us have to learn to be okay with doing winters alone, doing some kind of isolation. And it can be hard. But I think the beautiful thing that God has encouraged me with in seasons of just desolation.

[Renee]

Desolation is such an extreme word when.

[Courtney]

You say that's the word is what's beautiful about winter is those leaves that fell in autumn are now fertilizing the ground.

[Renee]

There you go.

[Courtney]

And so there are going to be springs again. There's a spring around the corner. But allow what you learned in the last season to fertilize the ground. Let it prepare way for the next thing. Because, okay, you don't understand what's going on. Things look empty, but the temptation in winter is because there are no fruits on the tree. Let's cut down the tree.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

The tree needs to withstand winter so that it can bear fruits in spring. So if you cut down the tree, it's not going to fertilize with the tea, the leaves that fell in autumn so it can bear fruit in spring. So just withstand the winter. I know it's such a temptation to give up during the winter season. I'm cutting off everybody. I'm giving up on this relationship, my family. There's no way we can go back. All of these things, this job, for effort, we're out of here.

[Renee]

Comes at the same time every year. Have you noticed poverty is real.

[Courtney]

How can you prematurely exit this season just like that? Ah, poverty. It loves to pounce on people. One thing poverty is pouncing poverty and.

[Renee]

Roaching around the corner.

[Courtney]

But that's what I've learned. It's so easy to want to cut things off in winter because they're not fruitful. Forgetting that things don't bear fruit in winter, but their roots are still strong in winter. So allow the ground of the things that you've learned, the people you know, the things that you've been through, to fertilize that tree so that when we get right back to this beginning conversation of spring, you have some hopes to put in the ground.

[Renee]

There you go. I believe they call that a full circle moment, something like a life cycle.

[Courtney]

Woo Giving if you left here and you didn't leave with something you ain't, your ears have not been opened.

[Christopher Kimball]

Hi, this is Christopher Kimball from Milk Street Radio. I often shop at Whole Foods Market since they sell the kind of food I like, organic vegetables, a great meat counter, and of course, a great staff. For Thanksgiving, Whole Foods offers brined turkeys as well as a spiral cut bone and ham. The Whole Foods Market bakery has a large assortment of pies, even a vegan pumpkin pie. Or grab some brioche and butterflake rolls for the table as well. Or you can ask the Whole Foods team to cater your meal for you, including the bird, the sides and desserts. Get your holiday party started at Whole Foods Market.