Live From Layfield: Navigating Comparison & Jealousy #TMSLiveInLondon

Summary

Podcast Summary: To My Sisters
Episode: Live From Layfield: Navigating Comparison & Jealousy #TMSLiveInLondon
Release Date: November 17, 2024

Hosted by Courtney Daniella Boateng & Renée Kapuku

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Introduction

In the "Live From Layfield: Navigating Comparison & Jealousy" episode of the To My Sisters podcast, hosts Courtney Daniella Boateng and Renée Kapuku delve deep into the often challenging emotions of comparison and jealousy within the context of adulthood and sisterhood. Recorded live at the sold-out TMS Live in London on November 17, 2024, this special episode brings together the vibrant community of sisters to explore personal experiences, insights, and strategies for overcoming these pervasive feelings.

Special Live Recording at TMS Live London

The episode marks a departure from the usual format, as Courtney and Renée decided to record their live podcast show in Shoreditch, London, amidst the dynamic atmosphere of TMS Live. This live recording aimed to capture authentic conversations and bring the energy of the event to their global sisterhood community.

Courtney [02:04]: "We are entering new seasons, but we are talking about embracing seasons from here on out."

Introduction of "Live from Layfield" Guests

To enrich the discussion, the hosts welcomed special guests Zoe, Uva, and Beverly from the Live from Layfield group. These women, known for their engaging content and strong presence, shared their unique perspectives on navigating emotions within various life seasons.

Renee [02:52]: "We're bringing our friends from Live from Layfield so that you guys can also enjoy just an ounce of what we experience."

Main Discussion: Navigating Comparison and Jealousy

The core of the episode revolves around understanding and managing feelings of comparison and jealousy, especially as individuals traverse different life stages and achievements.

Personal Experiences with Jealousy

Uva's Story: Uva opened up about a poignant moment in 2024 when she felt a surge of jealousy while browsing Instagram. Seeing a friend acquire a new house triggered intense emotions, leading her to introspect.

Uva [14:44]: "I realized that in there, the reason why I'm having an issue, what I'm seeing, my issue is not with this lady. My issue is with God."

She emphasized that her jealousy was not directed at her friend but stemmed from her own unmet expectations and disappointments.

Beverly's Perspective: Beverly shared her struggle with jealousy in her career. Witnessing a close friend’s success in pharmacy evoked feelings of discontentment and shame within herself.

Beverly [18:10]: "Jealousy is never really the villain when you break it down. It's more of two things... the desire and the discontent that comes with it."

She explained that jealousy can be a catalyst for personal growth if navigated correctly, rather than allowing it to lead to self-destruction.

Zoe's Journey: Zoe recounted a tumultuous period in March 2024, marked by personal and professional setbacks. These challenges amplified her tendency to compare her life with others, leading to feelings of failure and depression.

Zoe [29:35]: "I've got something new. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes."

She highlighted the importance of accepting one's current season and refraining from comparing one's journey to others.

Strategies for Overcoming Comparison and Jealousy

The guests collectively discussed various strategies to mitigate feelings of jealousy and unhealthy comparisons:

1. Self-Reflection and Internal Assessment:

   • Uva [17:55]: "The issue is never really what anyone else has going on. It starts from what's going on inside of you."

   Encouraging listeners to look inward when experiencing jealousy, identifying the root causes rather than projecting blame externally.

2. Acceptance and Processing Emotions:

   • Beverly [24:40]: "Acceptance is always the door to any kind of meaningful growth or change."

   Emphasizing the importance of acknowledging and processing emotions rather than suppressing or denying them.

3. Maintaining a Clear Personal Vision:

   • Uva [35:36]: "I look at the cup. I call it what it factually is. It's half full and it's half empty."

   Advocating for a clear personal vision to stay focused on individual goals, reducing the tendency to compare with others.

4. Embracing Personal Seasons and Change:

   • Zoe [50:37]: "Remember that nothing ever lasts forever. You're not stuck. You're not without hope."

   Reminding listeners that life is cyclical, with varying seasons that bring both challenges and opportunities for growth.

5. Developing Healthy Narratives:

   • Beverly [52:44]: "The narratives we tell ourselves matter... perspective and changing the narrative about what you're going through is the strategy that is going to help you."

   Encouraging the cultivation of positive and realistic self-narratives to combat negative self-perceptions.

Embracing Personal Seasons

A significant portion of the discussion focused on the concept of "seasons" in life—different phases that bring unique challenges and lessons. The guests shared how embracing each season, with its highs and lows, can lead to holistic growth and deeper self-awareness.

Zoe [53:01]: "Everything that you and what God has planned for you, it will materialize. Maybe not as quickly, quickly as you would like, but it will come."

This perspective fosters resilience and patience, emphasizing that difficult seasons are transient and integral to personal development.

Final Thoughts and Encouragement

As the conversation drew to a close, the guests offered heartfelt encouragement to listeners grappling with comparison and jealousy. They underscored the importance of self-acceptance, faith, and maintaining personal goals.

Courtney [58:27]: "So sisters, we'll talk to you very soon and as always, keep going and growing."

Closing Remarks

Courtney and Renée wrapped up the episode by expressing gratitude to their guests and the listening community. They encouraged listeners to engage with the Live from Layfield team, share their thoughts on comparison and jealousy, and continue their journey of personal growth within the sisterhood.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Courtney [02:04]: "We are entering new seasons, but we are talking about embracing seasons from here on out."

• Uva [14:44]: "My issue is with God."

• Beverly [18:10]: "Jealousy is never really the villain when you break it down. It's more of two things... the desire and the discontent that comes with it."

• Zoe [29:35]: "I've got something new. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes."

• Uva [35:36]: "I look at the cup. I call it what it factually is. It's half full and it's half empty."

• Zoe [50:37]: "Remember that nothing ever lasts forever. You're not stuck. You're not without hope."

• Beverly [52:44]: "The narratives we tell ourselves matter... perspective and changing the narrative about what you're going through is the strategy that is going to help you."

• Courtney [58:27]: "So sisters, we'll talk to you very soon and as always, keep going and growing."

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Conclusion

This episode of To My Sisters offers a profound exploration of the emotions of comparison and jealousy, providing listeners with relatable stories and actionable strategies to navigate these feelings. By sharing personal journeys and emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and acceptance, Courtney, Renée, and their guests foster a supportive environment aimed at promoting holistic wellness and growth within their global sisterhood community.

Transcript

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[Renee]

Hello and welcome to the To My Sisters podcast. I'm Renee.

[Courtney]

And I'm Courtney. And we are your online sisters and hosts of the To My Sisters podcast.

[Renee]

Now we are all about promoting the wellness, growth and development of a community of sisters across the world.

[Courtney]

And today we have something special for you.

[Uva]

Cha.

[Courtney]

Listen, sis, it has been an amazing couple of weeks. As you guys know, we just came out of the fourth sold out TMS Live in London. We had a live podcast show in Shoreditch and we don't typically record these conversations. However.

[Renee]

However.

[Uva]

This show was special.

[Courtney]

Oh, this show was special. It was a different. So many reasons.

[Zoe]

I got it.

[Renee]

I Rock of Ages, Roc Nation on this solid rock.

[Courtney]

I got engaged.

[Renee]

There is a Rocky. We're wearing cans. We're going to break.

[Courtney]

Come on.

[Zoe]

Come on.

[Courtney]

Yes, I did get engaged. We praise God. We praise God. Shout out to my man.

[Renee]

I know you guys were watching this thinking, wow, there's such a glare. Like there's. There's just something happening.

[Courtney]

Right?

[Renee]

You know what I'm saying? Something's happening with the visuals.

[Uva]

I can't quite concentrate.

[Renee]

And let me tell you, it's because of the rock has entered the channel.

[Courtney]

We thank God. Yes, I got engaged. We are entering new seasons, but we are talking about embracing seasons from here on out. We really feel like the theme of this year's live show really is a word for all the sisters. And we had to bring our sisters.

[Uva]

Literally.

[Courtney]

The mix. Listen, literally. So we did something that we don't typically do.

[Uva]

Yeah.

[Renee]

Something a little bit nel.

[Courtney]

We actually recorded the live show.

[Renee]

I know the girls have been on.

[Courtney]

To us in the DMs asking. Not everyone could come into the room. It's sold out. It's sold out quick. And some of you guys wanted to be in the room. And we said, you know what? We had to bring our sisters to talk on this topic.

[Zoe]

Something.

[Courtney]

And so we brought out the big Darks.

[Renee]

Oh.

[Courtney]

Zoe, UV and Beverly, AKA Live from Layfield.

[Renee]

We're talking about big dogs here. We're talking about Destiny's Child. Call us Matthew Knowles, because we be bringing together the superstars. What do you call that? Superstars, baby? No, honestly, when I say that my personal happiness was at extreme levels at that live show seeing. Listen, if you've been hiding under a rock, probably Courtney's rock. If you've been under a rock somewhere, because I've been under that rock too. Live from Layfield, baby. They were the girls. There was LFL before there was tms Best believe. So for us to be able to A, call them friends, B, call our friends and see to now record our friends so that you guys can also enjoy just an ounce of what we experience. What was imparted in that room on that Saturday. You're in for a treat.

[Uva]

Oh, my gosh.

[Renee]

We didn't even script that.

[Uva]

No, guys, you're in for a treat.

[Courtney]

Facts.

[Uva]

It just is what it is.

[Courtney]

You're in for a treat. So we don't actually have the visuals from Live from Layfield's podcast session at the TMS live show, but we do have the audio recording and we thought, listen, we can't just give it to the audio girlies and not give it to the YouTube girl.

[Renee]

Just raw like that.

[Courtney]

So just, I don't know, go and clean your house or something as you play it in the background.

[Renee]

Go get your steps in.

[Courtney]

Like, honestly, it is a good conversation. They are talking about comparison, jealousy, envy, and how we can navigate those emotions which we tend to feel when we are experiencing different seasons to our friends.

[Renee]

Whatever it is that you're doing, please, please, please enjoy. We know that we were blessed and enriched by this conversation and we hope that you two are.

[Courtney]

So without further ado, we're handing it over to Life from Layfield.

[Zoe]

Hey, guys. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. You know what? Sorry, you know me, I'm a yapper. So I have to go straight into it.

[Courtney]

Like.

[Zoe]

Okay, so you want to introduce ourselves?

[Uva]

My name is ov.

[Zoe]

My name is Zoe.

[Beverly]

And I'm Beverly.

[Zoe]

And we are Live from Layfield. Woo.

[Uva]

So did anybody between the years of 2015 and 2020 watch any live from Layfield videos?

[Zoe]

Okay, so you're real ones. You're real ones.

[Uva]

Cool, cool, cool. Just making. Just making sure. So I'm going to sing something. You should be able to sing along if you really watched. Okay, so three, two, one. Lfl baby. Lfl baby.

[Zoe]

Wow. So I guess the first question, do you know what I was going to say before is that we've actually never seen this number of people in real life, so we never done a live show. So I think even just coming out here, and it's like, wow, you guys are like, we know you're real people, but you're really real people. Like, we've never seen a Materialize. So, hey, guys, for the first time, it's an awesome thing to see you here. And I guess the elephant in the room, y'all be stopping us in the streets, in the coffee shops, harassing us on the Internet. And you were like, girls, where have you been? And so I know that some of you want to tussle with us and hold us by the scuff of our neck. And so I think that could be the best place for us to start tonight. Ladies, what do we tell the girlies? Where have we been?

[Beverly]

Eva, you want to start?

[Uva]

Okay. So we left YouTube because we were. We couldn't all three do it anymore, and we didn't want to do it if all three of us couldn't do it, because what's life from Layford without all three of us? So that is the reason. And I just ask for your forgiveness, and let's just move forward. Okay, great.

[Zoe]

Let's just forget about it. So we actually asked some questions as well from you guys, and one of the main question was, where have you been? But also, people were really interested to find out about our careers. I guess a lot of you must have met us while we were still in pharmacy school. And so y'all still pharmacists? You know, let's talk about that. Where are you guys at right now?

[Uva]

I want to start with. Sometimes I meet women, and they're like, oh, I did pharmacy because of you. And I'm like, bro, I didn't tell you to do that. I don't know how you honestly. So, yeah, we all qualified as pharmacists. I am no longer a pharmacist. Now let's cheer for that. Awesome. So. So the reason why I'm no longer a pharmacist is I'm just pursuing the vision that God has given me for my life. And part of that is I'm supposed to be building houses.

[Beverly]

Yeah.

[Zoe]

Come on, somebody.

[Uva]

So that's what I'm pursuing. I'm a property developer.

[Zoe]

Hallelujah. Beverly, what are you up to, girl?

[Beverly]

Every time I try to leave, something keeps pulling me back. Feedback telling me the amount of times I've tried to, you know, vacate this pharmacy space. Literally every time I try to leave, something keeps pulling me back. Me back. So, yes, I am still a pharmacist. But, you know, the vision that God gives us is never a singular thing. So there are other things that I'm pursuing on the side as well. I'm just being a civilian, doing my nine to five and loving Jesus. Amen.

[Zoe]

Hallelujah. That's what we doing.

[Uva]

So we're not going to talk about your new position that they just offered you?

[Zoe]

Oh, yeah. Why are you trying to act like you ain't got something new? Something new? Are you ready to share that in the public domain?

[Beverly]

I just got a new job. I don't know why, you know.

[Uva]

Okay, so I'll explain, seeing as she doesn't know how to explain. All right, so when we started pharmacy, there is a thing when you do hospital pharmacy, it's called a diploma. It's a course that you have to do and you have to do in order to progress to the next level. And the next level. Now we like to call ourselves Rugrats. We don't want to do what you're telling us to do. So we decided from the beginning we're never going to do that course. And they said we can never go far. We can never go from the band six to band seven to band eight. But Ms. Beverly over here, she has now been offered a band eight position.

[Zoe]

Breaking protocol. Breaking all the rules you broke in. Hallelujah. Well done, girl. And for myself, I do a plethora of different things. So after we had stopped doing Life from Layford, I felt led to start my own platform called Matters of the Heart. So I'm a podcaster. Hey, Heart Family.

[Beverly]

Amazing.

[Zoe]

So that's all about healing, wholeness, and growing with God. Because of that, doors have been open for me to be able to speak. And I just came back from Nigeria, my first ever international speaking engagement. So we're doing that. I like to call myself a fake pharmacist because I'm just. They shouldn't arrest me because I don't know what I'm doing in that place half the time. I'm not really a pharmacist. I'm consulting right now in health tech as well. And I have a business, too, where I print and design wedding stationery. So I just got my hand a few little pies, just doing a few different things, so.

[Uva]

And her business is called Printy. Perfect. To all the brides. Courtney.

[Zoe]

Courtney. Okay.

[Uva]

Okay. Well, you know who to call for your wedding station.

[Zoe]

It is. Well. And so we know we're all talking about embracing seasons, y'all. Okay. Are you wanna shout for Courtney again? Because it's exciting. Come and talk to us about it tonight. But it's super exciting. But as we're talking about embracing seasons, we're just kind of looking at the different seasons in our lives that we're currently in. And you know, one of the biggest seasons that's different for most of us is that guys, Beverly's a wife, you know. You know, in our house the other day and I was looking at the pictures on her wall and I thought, hey, who is that guy? You know, Brendan. Shout out to Brendan. By the way, Beverly's husband. He's around here somewhere. He's a great husband. Guys. God has blessed our sister. But Beverly's married, guys, and it feels so weird. So Beverly, how do you feel being the only married one in the bunch? Because normally a lot of girls are like, oh, everybody's married and I'm the only single one. But as for us, everybody they married and the only person that's married is Beverly. So Beverly, how do you feel?

[Beverly]

Words, words, words. It's been very interesting because out of the three of us, the most wifey, so to speak, is our beloved Zoe. You know, sometimes I'm a bit of a cracker. You guys, know how I be things that I be saying. So it was a shock for me to, you know, really be one of the first ones. But that being said, these girls are amazing. They're just a well of wisdom and they never made me feel any kind of like ostracized or. You guys never really acted weird. You know, like sometimes when people enter into different seasons, people kind of act differently. I don't know, like. But you guys have never done that. You've always encouraged me, always invited me to the outings and something like that, you know, so it's been, it's been cool, it's been calm. I just feel like a normal person, just like everybody else.

[Zoe]

Yeah, no more civilian. Yeah, awesome. Okay.

[Beverly]

So we're just going to go straight into our segment. So just a quick disclaimer, guys, the 30 minute, 45 minute videos that you might have seen on YouTube. We actually talk for a good three hours and condense those videos down. So we are going to do our very best, you know, to make it concise, make it impactful so that everybody can leave feeling blessed. But, you know, bear with us. So, yeah, let's get straight into the topic.

[Uva]

So the topic we were invited to speak. Speak on, in addition to embracing our seasons, is about comparison and jealousy. So when they first. Okay, yeah. Yeah, let's keep that. Let's keep that. When they first gave us the topic, I was just like, literally, sorry, this is not fake. I didn't know what to say because I'm not really a person that deals a lot with jealousy or comparison. And no, my sisters aren't jealous or comparing themselves to either of us. However, when we sat down, me and Beverly, to discuss this initially, a memory came to mind of an experience I had this year. How was 2024 for you guys?

[Zoe]

Ciao. It's been a dodgy year, man. Anybody else need a break from the year? I need a glass of water for this year. My goodness. That's what you think is getting better? It's just bus, boss, boss, boss. Endless. Because everybody needs therapy. Okay.

[Uva]

Yeah, so. Yeah, me too. So this year, I was sitting on Instagram, and before I even say this, let me give this disclaimer. I am not a hater in any which way, shape or form. It's not in my bones.

[Beverly]

She's a hype man.

[Uva]

I'm a hype man. Exactly.

[Beverly]

A real hype man.

[Uva]

Exactly. I support the people. I support everyone's achievements. However, in around second quarter, third quarter this year, I was on Instagram, I was scrolling through my stories, and I saw someone had just got a new house, and the way my finger was moving so quickly to swipe out, and I couldn't swipe out. It was like I was stuck. And I was getting angry. I was like, bro, I need to get out of here. And I took a second, and I asked myself, like, bro, what is going on? This is really giving hater. This is not really who you are. And when I evaluated it, I realized that 2024, okay, I've been saved for, like, 10 years. This year, however, was a rocky year for me. This year, I had a number of things I was expecting God to deliver on, and not one of them panned out. Not one of them panned out even slightly how I thought it was going to. So when I was looking at this lady's Instagram and seeing her achievement, and I was trying to, like, escape this place because I was being a hater and didn't want to see it, I realized that in there, the reason why I'm having an issue, what I'm seeing, my issue is not with this lady. My issue is with God.

[Beverly]

Yeah.

[Uva]

My issue is with me. When we are assessing jealousy. Guys, I'm drawing blank. Please forgive me. Usually behind a camera, not in front of people.

[Zoe]

Normally we say, cut this part up, cut it, cut It. Okay.

[Uva]

Where do I go, guys? Okay, give me some energy. Give me some. Give me some.

[Zoe]

I think you were saying, you talked about your year, and then you said when it comes to the aspect of jealousy, in regards to what you were saying.

[Uva]

Yeah.

[Zoe]

So you were scrolling. You weren't a hater, but you're kind of a hater.

[Uva]

Yeah. Okay. So what I did with that information is I used the experience to inform what I needed to do next. And what I needed to do next is not really focus on what this lady was achieving, but focus on repairing the issue that was behind this jealousy or behind this hearing. The issue was the fact that I was extremely disappointed with God, more disappointed than I've ever been. So my encouragement is to people that when you are an exper. When you are in an experience, when you're comparing yourself to somebody or you're having those thoughts of jealousy is always to start off by looking internally. The issue is never really what anyone else has going on. It starts from what's going on inside of you. And I think you had a similar situation that made you look internally.

[Beverly]

Yeah. So I've always been quite perplexed by the response that people have, or there's just a stigma, the villainization of the emotion jealousy. I feel like when we consider all the different emotions that we can feel as human beings, jealousy is probably the most. Or if not definitely top three most taboo. And it was always bizarre to me, because if we think about. Just take a step back and we think about the dynamics of jealousy, what is the trigger? How does it manifest? How does it actually present in our bodies? It's very intuitive in the sense of I'm. I'm only jealous, so to speak, or longing for something that I desire for myself. Am I supposed to be. Is it really an appropriate emotion to be happy about? A deficit in my life, like, is, you know, like one plus one equals two. If I identified there's a deficit that I'm desiring for myself, does anybody in this room expect me to be, like, shining my teeth, like, at that realization? And so it was always perplexing to me. And so with my personal situation, I was in a season of my life of deep discontentment with my career, just with life in general. I feel like I went through a season where everything was kind of being stripped away. Everything that kind of brought me purpose, where I thought I was going, relationships that I was in. Everything had been just, like, pulled apart. And it created a cycle of. I don't want to say despondency, because it feels so heavy. But where it got me to was despondency. And so there was a period where we have like a group chat where, you know, we gist and things like that. And one of our friends put in the group chat a LinkedIn page of one of our close friends. And I'm sure she's in the audience here somewhere, and she's doing big, big, big, amazing, mazing amazing things in the realm of pharmacy. And in that moment, I don't know, sometimes with certain emotions, you don't have words for them. There's a sound like how I felt was.

[Zoe]

Do it again, please.

[Beverly]

Literally, it was like a pang in my soul somewhere. And then after, there was a series of thoughts and feelings that brought about sadness and if I'm being completely honest, shame. And so when we look at the definition of jealousy or envy, whichever one it is, it's speaks about there being a discontentment or resentment that is aroused by somebody else's possessions. And so in that moment, that pang was me coming, like me facing the deep sense of discontentment that was triggered by seeing someone who was in a position that represented success to me, that represented everything that I thought that I was capable of doing, and yet my life wasn't manifesting. And so then in terms of the resentment part, the resentment and the shame was never directed towards her. It was directed towards myself. It was me feeling ashamed of myself because, you know, in terms of the narrative that was going on in my mind, this is somebody that I love dearly. We started in the exact same place. I remember us having conversations about, you know, are you going to do this diploma xyz And I was giving it the biggins I'm not gonna do. I'm leaving pharmacy. And it's like, here I am. Every time I try to leave, something keeps pulling me back, you know, and so what I was coming to terms with that. She made a series of decisions that landed her in a place that I identified to be success and fulfillment. And I made a series of decisions that landed me in a place that I'm not happy with. And so I had a resentment towards myself. I was ashamed with myself. There was a great discontentment with myself. And I knew that. And so I didn't feel. I didn't feel ashamed about the fact that I felt the way that I felt, because I realized that these feelings are not malignant in and of themselves. They're not problematic. So in the realm of medicine, when we're talking about cancer, you can either have a. Cancer is like an uncontrolled growth. It can either be benign, meaning it's harmless, or it can be malignant, meaning it can really do you damage and kill you. And so those emotions that I was feeling right then and there, there was nothing problematic with them in and of themselves. They weren't malignant. But I had a choice to make as to how I was going to metabolize those things, how I was going to process them. And so when we're talking about jealousy, if the Bible can describe God as a jealous God, there means that there is a way to be jealous that is righteous, if you like. There's a way to navigate jealousy or these kinds of feelings that doesn't lead to destruction. And I think our problem as human beings is we suck at it. We don't know how to navigate these tough, perhaps ugly feelings. We don't know how to confront our shame. We don't know how to confront our guilt. And I think when you find yourself feeling those things, you're almost at the threshold of, is this going to become benign or is this going to become malignant? And the process is dependent on what you do with those emotions.

[Zoe]

I think based off that, I actually wanted to ask you, what did you do? So you had the feelings, you felt the in your chest and you felt that shame, and you felt, I'm not actually where I want to be. So what was the next steps for you? Because I'm sure maybe some of you might even feel like I felt, like how Bev felt in that situation. Anybody felt that way before? Yeah. And so then what do you do Once you realize I've got this benign jealousy, I don't want it to become malignant.

[Beverly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zoe]

What did you do in that? What was that process for, like, for you?

[Beverly]

I'm a Christian. I believe in Jesus, you know, And I believe that he's the author and the perfector of my life. He writes my story. And just like what Uva was saying, I made certain decisions because I thought God was leading me. So there was a disappointment with the fact that God. I'm here. Literally when I saw it, I looked up to the sky and said, God, is it fair? Is it fair? And I think what I've learned in my journey anyway is that when you are feeling overwhelmed with emotions or you're experiencing negative emotions, you've got. There's four things that you can do. You can accept them. And I've learned that acceptance is always the door to any kind of meaningful growth or change. You can resist. You can deny nothing. Is happening here, Ray Charles. Keep going. Or you can suppress. And the latter three, I bet you any money is going to lead you down a path of malignancy. Because I think we also overestimate our capacity to deal with what we're going through. Because if I could do better, I wouldn't be where I am now. And so I have to take this to God. I can't sit here and pretend like, oh, whatever strategy I'm going to come with, I'm going to sort this out on myself by myself. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. And it shows, you know, so what I y'all mean. And so, yeah, I just had to be. I had to accept that, number one, this is how you're feeling. Society wants to make you feel like you're a witch, because in this moment, you're not 100. Like, because in this moment, you're happy for your friend. You're happy for, you know, whatever is going on in her life, but you're also feeling a deep sense of sadness. And, yeah, I took that to God. So I didn't feel ashamed of myself. I understood that. First of all, my emotions is not law. It's an indicator that, you know, like, in a car, the dashboard where the engine light comes on, I know there's multiple people here. You just press that button and keep it going. That. That when your emotions flag that something is going on, it's flagging that, hey, shoddy, there's a bit of an. There's something is shaky here. There's. There's an instability in your soul here. And you need to take this to Jesus, because another thing that I learned is that the narratives we tell ourselves frames our whole entire life. And the narrative that was playing in my mind was a narrative that, you know, you're a big dummy, your life doesn't look at this, etc. Etc. And obviously, I believe in the devil. He's an opportunist. He will allow you to even program yourself into despondency. And so we go to God to allow him to replace the narrative, to bring context or to bring meaning to whatever transition or whatever period that you're in. And I think that then anchors you and allows you, almost gives you strength to move on and to deal with whatever you're dealing with.

[Zoe]

Yeah, I think that's so beautiful because it's actually you that introduced me to the feelings wheel. I don't know if anyone's done therapy before and they give you, like, a feelings. Will that help you to articulate your feelings. And so Beverly is a very interested human being. So she's like, well, she doesn't know how she's feeling. She goes to the feelings wheels. And I thought, this Beverly is a crazy girl, man. Like, I hope you don't know what you're feeling. But there was a day I didn't know what I was feeling, and I went to the feelings world, and one of the feelings on the feelings were actually jealousy. And so we're so complex as human beings, but we. We don't actually learn. So what I'm looking for, we don't know how to allow ourselves to be human. And to say that, well, actually, I can be angry, I can be sad, I can be jealous. Sometimes I can feel resistance, resentful. And that's all a part of my experience. But like you said, like, emotions are indicators, but they're not dictators. They don't have the right to drive my life. I don't just follow my feelings because we know, even as the word says, that the heart is deceitful. So we don't allow the heart to just lead us astray or our feelings to lead us astray. And so I think it's important, like you said, to know when that jealousy arises. It's an opportunity to take it before it can become something else and then begin to lead you down a path where you don't want to go. I hope you guys don't fight me, because I'm coming off protocol a little bit. I felt like I just wanted to share because everyone's had, like, a little bit of a vulnerable moment just, you know, opening up. It's all right if I get a bit vulnerable. Guys, with you today. So I think we've all kind of, like, talked about the seasons a little bit and just things we've passed through. And I think where I'm coming from today is less more so about the jealousy, but more about comparison. So I think I found myself this year. So let me just start with this. So January for me, was a fantastic month. I had some amazing opportunities. February, another fantastic month. When it got to March, God of Zion, my life fell to pieces.

[Beverly]

It's not even funny. But you gotta laugh. If you don't laugh, you'll cry.

[Zoe]

Like, when I say it's like, train wreck. Everything, like, in the same week. I was wrongfully, like, terminated at work. The way that they embarrassed me in them. Have you ever cried hot tears in the middle of a meeting? Like, I was crying. I've never cried at work. Before I was so angry. I was feeling violated on every side. I was in a relationship. If you know how that thing hit the wall, my God, you know, I never expected it. You know, I was. In all honesty, I thought I was going to marry that person. And so it hit the wall. I got into a car accident because my life was so in stew that I was driving, I didn't know when I was reversing and I hit somebody else's car. Then finances and everything just did this upside down. And I just said, lord. And I realized at that point my life looks better on the.

[Uva]

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[Uva]

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[Zoe]

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[Uva]

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[Beverly]

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[Zoe]

Outside than it does actually sitting in it. And I hated that. And I think I found myself in a place of comparison, comparing my life with people I'm obviously seeing on the Internet. Not even people that I know. I know. Beverly says you must be crazy if you're comparing that you don't even know. But I realized that that's actually where I was. But the way I was able to kind of like come out of that was by just accepting where I was. And I think oftentimes when your life feels like it's entered into stew like and it's all fallen to pieces, it's hard to accept that you're not sitting in the perfect dream or the perfect reality that you expected. I felt embarrassed, like, oh, how am I going to tell my friends again? Like, oh, this relationship didn't work out. How am I going to explain to my parents that I don't have a job, you know, and I still have bills to pay. It feels like, like, kind of like what you said. My life isn't going on the trajectory that it should be going, even though on the outside it looks like it is. And for a moment, I found myself comparing myself. And it made me feel really low, made me feel really depressed. And I think even like you said the words, like, ashamed of myself, the words I said to myself actually was, you're failing at life. And I'm like, I'm 30. I don't have any more time to get life wrong. You know, it doesn't feel like that. Anybody who's 30 in the room, it just feels like I've got no more time, you know, I'm a chicken. Oh, goodbye. You know, you got 30 minutes. You got about 30 minutes. 230, you know, but I literally felt like I was failing at life. But I felt like I was failing at life because I was comparing my life with other people who might have been married or had children or, you know, some of my friends are deep in the six figures, you know, and doing crazy things. And I'm thinking I'm not there. But I had to realize that it's okay that I'm not there right now. This is where I am, and it's okay to be here. And I remember the Lord saying that, you're not failing, Zoe. You're finding yourself. And I was just finding my way back onto the path that he had for me. And I feel like that was important to say because we have so much time to find and we feel like we have to always have everything figured out. I just don't think that that's fair to us when life is so complex and we haven't even lived probably half of our lives by the grace of God, if he gives us long life, you know what I mean? We've got so much time. And so I think just give your. If you feel like that as well, like, my life isn't how I want it to be. Things aren't how I expect. Give yourself the grace that it's okay. I can still find things out. I can still get back onto that path that God has for me. Or if you don't believe in God that, you know, I'm just trying to figure out in my life, you don't have to have everything figured out. And I'm telling you, even the people online you might look at and think they've got everything figured out. Everybody will tell you I'm winging it. I just told you I went to Nigeria. Ask me how I got there. I'll tell you now. I don't know. I'm still processing, like, what's happening, because, again, I feel like I'm being led, but I'm still figuring it out. And so I just wanted to just say that as well.

[Beverly]

So I know, Uwe, you said that you're not a jealous person. And I think when we were discussing these type of things, you was. You were talking to me about kind of like your strategy. What. When you've kind of seen things or seen people have things that, you know, you desire for yourself, the reason why you don't find yourself in that place. What, like, what's that for you?

[Uva]

Some people, you know, they say they look at the cup, the cup is half full. Some people look at the cup, the cup is half empty. I look at the cup. I call it what it factually is. It's half full and it's half empty. So when I'm looking at what guys in your lives, what is something that the girlies want, but they don't currently have to shout anything out at me?

[Zoe]

Love hearing it.

[Uva]

Let's start again. Let's start again. Yeah, let's start again. Can we get something from this side over here? Car, car, house, money. All right, thank you. We'll just take that.

[Zoe]

Okay, Give this lady a mic. She said, car, house, money, man. She like everything. Everything.

[Uva]

Okay, so this is why I'm not a really. I don't really struggle with comparison, because when I think about the things that I want. So let's say I don't need a car, but I would like some more money, and I would like a house. When I see people getting a house, the first thing I do is congratulate them.

[Zoe]

Hallelujah.

[Uva]

The first thing I do, congratulate them. And the reason why I am not concerned about the fact that I don't have that right now is because a house is a beautiful thing. Yes. For me, I want my new house because I want to bring some beautiful interior design, do something other than. Other than what my mom thinks is right. I don't know about you guys. My parents Nigerian. We have some yellow painted wall magnolia. You know, I need to get out of that.

[Beverly]

Yeah.

[Uva]

So I have a vision, and I want to bring that vision to life. So I'm excited to bring that vision to life. However, I also recognize that when you have a house, particularly if you don't buy a new build, God Forbid. You're sleeping in that bed and you look up and you just see one drop. Your roof has got an issue. Who's solving it? You. You go to the bath, you put on the hot water, you enter. No hot water. Okay, what's the problem? The boiler needs replacing. Those two problems that I have described are costly problems. So when I'm looking at the things that people are achieving, I think it's awesome. But at the same time, I'm not looking with rose tinted glasses. We look at these things and we look at it like it's a bunch of roses. I was planning. I was doing Beverly's proposal, organize it, and we bought her a bouquet of roses. I decided that the wrapping paper was nasty. I need to take it off. I took off the wrapping paper. I took my hand, I held the roses. Do you know roses have thorns? It's something that we all know. Of course we know. But I don't know. I don't know. So we think that the house, the car, the relationship is just a bunch of roses. It is a bunch of roses. It is beautiful. There is beauty in having a home. There is beauty in having companionship. There's also some prickly bits. Let's think about it. When you get married. Yeah. There are some characteristics that you guys have that you've been hiding very well where you enter into that marital home. Somebody's gonna point out some things to you.

[Beverly]

100.

[Uva]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Zoe]

Testifying. Personal testimonies, personal testimony.

[Uva]

So that amazing companionship that you now have, it also. What do you say? It's a bit prickly. Right. So when I'm looking at people achieving things. Fantastic. Everything has a season. Yeah. That is that person's season. Yeah. If I don't have that thing, perhaps I don't have the ability yet to carry both the blessings and the challenges. So you see me.

[Courtney]

I'm a weight.

[Uva]

It's okay. I got money for the roof, nor the boiler. Cool.

[Zoe]

That's too funny.

[Beverly]

Did you. I wanted to ask you a question or do you have something that you wanted to say?

[Zoe]

Yeah, I wanted to say something. I think we kind of discussed it before. It's in regards to when we see other people kind of getting blessings and you know, how. I don't know if it's, like, cultural. I think it might be a Nigerian thing or maybe it's an African thing. But you say, yes, it's my turn next. You know, it's me. It's me next.

[Uva]

Yeah.

[Zoe]

God, yeah. And like, I think there's room for that. But I just started to think, is that actually really healthy? That immediately when we see somebody getting engaged or buying the house or getting the car or announcing soft, launching their boo or getting engaged, like our beautiful sister Courtney.

[Renee]

Hallelujah.

[Zoe]

Praise the Lord. He's at. We turn it into ourselves. And I just started to think, why do we make it about us? Like always, me next, me next. And it's not a bad thing if you're desiring it, but why can't we just allow what's for people to be for them? And I think even like just a culture of having to view people's lives constantly, subconsciously, we're continuously measuring our own accolades and achievements and lives against. Against other people. And so I just wanted to just say that, you know, you can just be happy for people and say if they. If they have the house, well done, congratulations, you have a house. Finished. Not. You don't have to include yourself in it as well. Well, you.

[Unknown Speaker]

You're.

[Zoe]

You're engaged. I'm so happy that you found love and a man is treating you right. God bless you, full stop. And just to leave it there. But. Sorry, what are you going to say? Beverly, you can.

[Beverly]

You can go ahead. Are you sure? All right. Because when we were speaking, I think yesterday you said something that was really, really profound to me, and it was just about. Oh, how can I word it? It was just about how you were saying not. I think, kind of like UV mentioned it about not everything is for you. Is that what you want to talk? Yeah, go ahead.

[Uva]

So with jealousy, we have described. Or Beverly, for example, she saw our friend achieving something, and it made her look inside and say, I want something like that. So we were. When we were discussing jealousy yesterday, we were saying that jealousy can be used as a tool. So if you get that pang, you get that feeling it might be trying to show you of something that you have desire of and you need to organize yourself to pursue. However, sometimes you have that pang for something that you should not be pursuing. Not everything that we desire is something that we require.

[Beverly]

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Uva]

Is that. Is that what you wanted? I'm done. I'm done.

[Zoe]

Yes. Sorry. I'm just laughing because UVA's like mic drop. Yeah. Just to bounce off what Evie said. I think it's important to actually assess your wants and your desires. Sometimes you're comparing yourself and you're jealous about something that, like Beverly was saying, was never for you in the beginning. And so you have this desire to be for Example, an international singer. Because it looks maybe that when you're looking at someone that has this singing career, you can see people are praising them and it feels like something that you want, but it was actually never really meant for you at all. And it's so easy, especially in our culture of social media, where we're constantly scrolling, constantly looking at other people's lives. Sometimes the desires that you have, they're actually not your desires, they're somebody else's desires. Have you stopped to even ask yourself, do you even like some of the things that you've put into your basket? I know some of the clothes I've been seeing people wear on the streets. I said, do you even like what you're wearing? Because you don't even look comfortable. Some of the dreams that you're saying that you have, is it actually your dream or is it a dream that is somebody else's, and you think it's going to make you feel better about yourself or where you are in your life. So I think it's really important because we can end up depressed and anxious, wanting somebody else's life that was never meant for us. And so I think it's really a journey about identity. And if you're a believer and even if you're not, it's asking the question of what's actually for me, what have I been made to do? What have I been born to do? What is my purpose? What is my calling? What are the activities? What is the career that I should be pursuing? Not what everybody else is doing. Because we've become. We are not a monolith, but we act as if we all have the same. Same calling. And we should all like the same things. Like, no, even we're sitting here and we're even dressed differently. We have different perspectives. We have different mindsets about things. We all started in the same place in pharmacy. But you can see our careers have all kind of, like, diverged. We're all doing different things. I can't be Beverly. I can't be Uva. I can only be myself. And I think also to remember that if you don't figure out who you are and walking that in courage and in boldness, you neglect the world of the treasure that God has put on the inside of you. And you're here for a reason to release that. So it's really important. Sit with yourself and be like, I wanted this new BMW. Have you even been a BMW before? Do you even know what's inside the car? You don't even know if you like the interior, but it looks like you should want it. Or was this a Mercedes truck? What do they call it? G wagon. It's a sign of prosperity. Yes. I don't even know the name.

[Uva]

What?

[Zoe]

Can't pretend with you guys. And you think it looks. All of the Instagram girlies have it. So you want it. You're being influenced, but you're called to be influential.

[Beverly]

Yeah.

[Zoe]

Okay. So you have to start thinking, oh, okay. Thanks, Ma. So just have that in your heart. So. And I think, as well, this has really helped, especially being in a space where it's like, you're online, you're creating content. We have some amazing sisters. Like, in fact, how dare we?

[Unknown Speaker]

God.

[Zoe]

We haven't honored our woman of God. God forgive us. Can we just give a big shout out for Courtney and Renee? Please, please. Like, what grade of women are these? When God was making women, he said these two. Something different caliber.

[Beverly]

Come on.

[Zoe]

Intelligent, beautiful. Look what they've built. We're sitting here in the, like, what they've established. It's wonderful. So to have women like that around, and then you have to catch yourself, not to compare yourself with them, but because they have their own lane. To my sisters is their own lane. Life from Laker was our own lane. What we're doing as individuals is our own lane. You have to find your lane and then trust that that is enough. And you can bless people if that's what your desire is, or be great in whatever you've been called to do. And so I find it's easy not to compare yourself when you know exactly what you're supposed to be doing. I think, Eva, you made a good point yesterday about the necessity of vision. Do you want to touch on that?

[Uva]

I do. I do. I do. So I was thinking about another way in which we can combat the issue of jealousy and prevent it from happening is having vision. So again, if I see this, this. This princess here with the house, you get your new house.

[Beverly]

Amen.

[Uva]

When you get your new house, and you get your new house before me. Amen.

[Zoe]

Yeah.

[Uva]

She said, oh, you get your new house before me. I will never be upset. Sorry, what's your name? Since I'm talking to you? Olivia. Olivia. I will never be upset that Olivia has got her new house. The reason why is because I am quite clear on the vision for my life. I. Nobody can come and tell me that I won't have a house. You can never tell me such things. Are you mad? Same way nobody can come and tell me. Sorry. This one is pressure because These lot are going to. No one can come and tell me that I won't get married. Hallelujah. That's deliverance right there. Anyway, no one could tell me that I won't get married because I see it in my vision, right? I'm very clear on where I'm going. Same way, how we off. I'm sure, like in everyone's friendship groups, you have people doing remarkable things. Our friendship groups, we have one of our friends, Daniela. She's a teacher. She's become a teacher. She's become a head of department. She's been invited to be deputy head. She's just got an award from Jack. Protects you from being the best teacher in the whole of London. As you can see, she's doing things right. So I'm not going to look at my sister and see her climbing in her career and feel any kind of way about it, because I know where I'm going. I told you guys what I'm here to do. I'm here to build houses, though I have not got from here to here and here. I know I'm going from here to here to here. So when I see my sister tell me, oh, I just got a Jack Petrie Award, I say, all right, all right, all right, all right. And I feel no way about it because I'm clear on where I'm going. So if you can get clear on what it is you're going, where it is you're going. And then also because it's one thing to have a vision. Sorry, I don't know how else to say it, but the Bible says faith without works is dead. It's great to have a vision. It's great to have a goal. But if you are doing nothing to. To get towards that vision, when you see Olivia and her new house, even though you have the vision board, you have the house, because you've made no steps to get towards getting that house. You feel it. But if I see Olivia get in her house, but at the same time, I know I've got the. Was it Elisa? Elisa. I mean, it's one type. Isa.

[Beverly]

I don't know what she's talking about. What's she talking about?

[Uva]

It's one type of. Isaac. I know I have this lifestyle.

[Beverly]

I said lifestyle.

[Uva]

You people are looking at me anyway. I know I have the lifestyle. I know I'm making the steps to achieving whatever's in my vision. I can never be worried about somebody else getting to their milestone before me when I'm now working on where I need to get to so have a vision, guys, and start working on it.

[Zoe]

Okay, and what would your, I guess, your final statements, what would your final statements be to anybody right now who's struggling to embrace their season? What would you say to them?

[Beverly]

Do you have something to say right now? Should I go right now? I should go right now. I can only tell you what I know. Like Jesus, he's the, he's the author and perfecter of our stories. And what I was saying before, I just want to echo that. The narratives we tell ourselves matter sometimes. We can make observations like I did that I think Vivie said yesterday, she was like, they can be fair and they can be valid. But that doesn't change the fact that the way that your narrative is set up is going to lead you to a place that is not fruitful. And so perspective and changing the narrative about what you're going through is the strategy that is going to help you get through this period of instability. And so if you are a Christian and you or you have a faith, you can allow the narrative to come from the person who is the author of your story. I don't need to be in a frenzy and be, you know, my life completely in stew or to be completely kerfuffled about what's going on. If I trust that the author of this story is good, he's faithful and he's true to his word, he's a covenant keeping God. And he's made certain promises concerning my life. And so the only thing that I need to have a conviction about is that he's going to do what he said he's going to do. And so all I do now is, yeah, it's amazing to have a vision. Yeah, it's amazing to have a plan. But I've learned to hold on to things loosely. The only thing I care about is listen, God, let me, let me just be in your will because I know that you're ultimately going to lead me to wherever I need to be. And if you change the story, if this doesn't bang, I know you're so good, you're going to redirect it. You're going to re navigate things, you're going to reorganize it and it might even be better. And so that's my last two pence.

[Zoe]

I love that the question was, what are your final words about embracing the season?

[Uva]

I don't have anything deep. Listen, be honest with yourself. We've described that 2024 was rough. It was rough. It was rough for all three of us. And We've seen in the audience. It has also been rough. The only way you can actually move forward and make progress is by sitting with yourself and assessing how you have felt. If you have gone through 20, 24, a rough season, and you haven't sat down at any point to really check in with yourself, you're doing yourself a disservice and an injustice. Embracing the season is also embracing the negative feeling or accepting there's a negative feeling. Assessing that feeling, and then you can make a plan to move forward and progress. So talk to yourself. That's my thing. Thanks.

[Zoe]

I think what I would say is that always remember that seasons change. And so when I spoke about at the beginning that March, hey, sorry. I thought my life was over, you know, I thought everything was finished, but I'm not. I'm not there anymore. You know, God has shifted my life, and I felt like he was doing it, like, in quarters. So January to March, March to June, I was in a very low place. But from July, my life began to take an upward turn, and I began to see my season was changing. And so remember that it can't always be summer. And we always want the summer heat, the summer drinks, you know, the summer fun. And it's just not realistic. Life. Life comes with troubles. Even the Word says, like, we'll have many troubles, you know, but we should take heart because God has. Christ has overcome the world. He's our strength. He's what we hold on to. He's our firm foundation. And so you will have seasons that feel like autumn. You will have seasons that feel like winter. You will have seasons that feel like spring. But you'll never be anywhere you are right now in your life forever. And so I remember even Courtney said something to me when I was speaking to her, when I was kind of like, in the midst of the season, she said, zoe, what have you learned in this season? And so every season comes into our life to teach us something, perhaps about ourselves, sometimes about God, and sometimes to prepare us for where God is taking us, you know? And so just remember that nothing ever lasts forever. You're not stuck. You're not without hope. You're not without joy. Everything that you and what God has planned for you, it will materialize. Maybe not as quickly, quickly as you would like, but it will come. And so no season lasts forever, and you will be able to get to where you want to be. And so, guys, I think it's time for us to wrap up today. Thank you. It's honestly been a beautiful time. It's been surreal. It's been funny.

[Uva]

Thank you for having us. Until next time. We love you too.

[Zoe]

We love you guys.

[Uva]

I know we left without saying anything, but we do love you guys.

[Zoe]

Yeah, we love you.

[Courtney]

Okay.

[Zoe]

And we never got to say it, but thank you for all of the years of support. Yeah, sorry guys, I talk a lot. Thank you for all of the years of support, all of the encouragement and just the love. You know, we started out just free friends in pharmacy school making videos and somehow it spanned to different countries and got all these number of views and we're so grateful that anything we've done was able to impact anybody's lives. It's honestly still so surreal to us. So God bless you guys from the bottom of our hearts. We love, we love, we love you so love you lots. Love you long time.

[Courtney]

We hope that you enjoyed that conversation. It wasn't it so rich, just juicy. We told you guys literally you had to be in the room but if you weren't, at least you have the video.

[Renee]

There you go.

[Courtney]

You could listen Listen to life from Layfield and that amazing conversation. Drop in the comments down below some of your thoughts on comparison and the jealousy within friendship groups and how we can navigate these things on our personal development journeys as well as within our sisterhood.

[Renee]

Absolutely. And of course show some love to the ladies. Like not just tell us your thoughts but also come and support them. Support them on their personal pages. We'll be sharing some links to their personal pages and they are literally all, all over our social media. So please do give the live from Layfield ladies a follow drop a little fire emoji if you thought that that was a good a hot conversation or something. But let us know and show that love and support and don't forget to follow us on social media whilst you are at it at to my sisterhood on literally all platforms. You know where to find us. LinkedIn, Instagram. Man, at this point if you ain't found us, you are not on job, you're actually lost somewhere. So come out of the ditch in which you're at and follow us. And don't forget to follow my best friend AKA Future Muses at CD Barteng. And of course come and follow me over at Renee Kapuku.

[Courtney]

We love to see it. And if you want that little extra extra sign sign sign up to the mailing list onto my sisters.com so that you can get weekly love letters from us. Listen 2025, we're putting our foot on the gas when it comes to the sisterhood and so girls, keep your eyes peeled.

[Beverly]

Let's go.

[Uva]

Stay in the loop.

[Courtney]

We love you dearly. We hope that this conversation was great and impactful to you and that encouraged you in some way. And hold tight for next week's episode because we're coming through with the live show podcast.

[Renee]

You ain't ready for that one.

[Courtney]

So sisters, we'll talk to you very soon and as always, keep going and growing.

[Zoe]

To everyone else this is a task, but to you this is opportunity.

[H]

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