Locking In For The Next 6 Months: Lessons to End The Year Better

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Locking In For The Next 6 Months: Lessons to End The Year Better"

Podcast Information:

• Title: To My Sisters
• Hosts: Courtney Daniella Boateng & Renée Kapuku
• Episode: Locking In For The Next 6 Months: Lessons to End The Year Better
• Release Date: July 6, 2025

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Introduction

In the July 6, 2025 episode of To My Sisters, hosts Courtney Daniella Boateng and Renée Kapuku engage in an insightful conversation centered around reflecting on the first half of the year and strategizing for the remaining six months. The episode delves into personal growth, overcoming challenges, and fostering a supportive sisterhood community.

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Key Topics Discussed

1. Mid-Year Reflection and Personal Experiences

   • Transition and Letting Go: Both hosts share their personal journeys through significant life transitions, such as Courtney preparing for marriage and moving houses, and Renée embracing a slower, more present-focused lifestyle.
   • Balancing Busyness and Slowing Down: Courtney discusses the challenge of balancing a busy schedule with the need to slow down for personal growth, highlighting the importance of delegating tasks to maintain mental and emotional well-being.

2. Listener Engagement: Addressing Personal Dilemmas

   • The hosts address a listener's dilemma about dealing with past bullying related to a husky voice. They offer compassionate advice on self-acceptance, leveraging supportive communities, and honoring one's personal rhythm to navigate new social environments.

3. Lessons Learned from the First Half of the Year

   • Embracing Change: Courtney emphasizes the importance of allowing oneself to change and evolve, shedding old habits and beliefs to discover new facets of self.
     • Quote: “It's okay to let go of things which maybe for the last 28 years of your life, you've been carrying with you.” (35:22)
   • Staying in Stasis: Renée discusses the value of remaining in a state of contentment without the pressure to constantly progress, highlighting the societal tendency to equate worth with productivity.
     • Quote: “My worth isn't found in how far I can move forward. It's found in the fact that I am.” (38:45)
   • Going Where Love Is: Courtney shares her commitment to nurturing relationships and building a supportive community, underscoring the significance of receiving and giving love authentically.
     • Quote: “Let people love you for real.” (22:57)

4. Practical Strategies for Personal Growth

   • Revising Goals and Timelines: Courtney advises reevaluating and adjusting personal goals when faced with setbacks, promoting flexibility in achieving long-term aspirations.
   • Self-Compassion vs. Self-Shaming: The hosts distinguish between being honest with oneself and engaging in self-shaming, advocating for a compassionate internal dialogue to foster sustainable personal development.
     • Quote: “Shame is so unhelpful. It's not going to help you produce long lasting sustainable results.” (27:55)
   • Honoring Personal Rhythms: Renée highlights the importance of listening to one's body and intuition, suggesting that aligning actions with personal rhythms can lead to better mental and physical health.
     • Quote: “Honoring the rhythm that your body is telling you is one of the best ways that you can be a friend to yourself.” (48:32)

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Insights and Conclusions

The episode underscores the significance of self-awareness, adaptability, and community support in navigating life's transitions. By sharing their own experiences and addressing listener concerns, Courtney and Renée provide actionable advice for fostering personal growth and maintaining holistic wellness. They encourage listeners to embrace change, remain present, cultivate loving relationships, and practice self-compassion as they plan and prepare for the second half of the year.

Final Takeaways:

• Change is Natural: Embrace personal transformation and let go of outdated aspects of yourself to grow.
• Contentment in Stasis: It's acceptable to remain in a state of contentment without the constant drive to progress.
• Community and Love: Seek out and nurture relationships where love and support are reciprocated authentically.
• Self-Compassion: Replace self-shaming with compassionate self-reflection to build sustainable personal development.

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Notable Quotes

• Courtney on Transformation:
  “It's okay to let go of things which maybe for the last 28 years of your life, you've been carrying with you.” (35:22)

• Renée on Self-Worth:
  “My worth isn't found in how far I can move forward. It's found in the fact that I am.” (38:45)

• Courtney on Love and Community:
  “Let people love you for real.” (22:57)

• Courtney on Self-Compassion:
  “Shame is so unhelpful. It's not going to help you produce long lasting sustainable results.” (27:55)

• Renée on Honoring Rhythm:
  “Honoring the rhythm that your body is telling you is one of the best ways that you can be a friend to yourself.” (48:32)

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Conclusion

"Locking In For The Next 6 Months: Lessons to End The Year Better" serves as a motivational guide for listeners seeking to navigate personal transitions and set meaningful goals for the latter half of the year. Through heartfelt discussions and practical advice, Courtney and Renée empower their sisterhood community to embrace growth, foster supportive relationships, and practice self-compassion on their journeys toward holistic wellness.

Transcript

[Renee]

Only Boost Mobile. Boost Mobile will give you a free year of service. Free year when you buy a new 5G phone. New 5G phone. Enough. But I'm your hype man. When you purchase an eligible device, you get $25 off every month for 12 months with credits totaling one year of free service. Taxes extra for the device and service plan. Online only. And in today's episode, we are going to be talking about locking in for the next six months.

[Courtney]

Sometimes we regress instead of progress.

[Renee]

It's been a whimsical first half of the year. I've been a total just a girl.

[Courtney]

It's been really nice to have more people show up for me like yourself.

[Renee]

The temptation going into the second half of the year is things have not been show. Like I want more things to happen in my life.

[Courtney]

I was sleeping too much. Okay. I was sleeping too much.

[Renee]

Being born early has resulted in me having a husky voice and I have been teased about it in primary school and was bullied in secondary school.

[Courtney]

Hello and welcome to the To My Sisters podcast. I'm Courtney.

[Renee]

And I'm Renee. And we are your online sisters and hosts of the To My Sisters podcast.

[Courtney]

We are all about promoting the wellness, growth and development of a community of sisters around the world.

[Renee]

And in today's episode, we are going to be talking about locking in for the next six months. Yes, sisters, we have reached the halfway mark of 2025. She did not put her bag down. It's giving Viola Davis meme. Pick your bag up and be going. And it's been a whirlwind to say the least. So we're going to be having a honest conversation around the lessons that we've learned, how to overcome some of the challenges that we have faced and ending the year on a high Note. We ending 2025 strong.

[Courtney]

Let's go.

[Renee]

But before we do that, do we have any housekeeping announcements?

[Courtney]

You should keep your eyes peeled because we're bringing back in person events. It's been a minute. I feel like it's been a whole three, four months since our last in person event.

[Renee]

We ain't seen the girls.

[Courtney]

It's been insane. So because we miss you, we said that we're going to do a couple events in London. I know. When is our next trip abroad? We ask ourselves the same question.

[Renee]

Get us out of here.

[Courtney]

So if you can find a sponsor, if you can find a sponsor, we'll be there. But we are having a couple events, so keep your eyes eyes peeled by signing up to our mailing list on our Website to my sisters dot com. Just so that you'll be the first to know, we're having a mix of intimate events. Bigger events. Even bigger events.

[Renee]

Come on now.

[Courtney]

Yeah, definitely keep your eyes peeled so that you can be there or be square.

[Renee]

Delightful. Well, sisters. Oh, is there anything else?

[Courtney]

No.

[Renee]

Oh, there's currently a deal, actually. Yeah, you need to drink water because it's definitely very hot. If you are in the uk, you know that we are definitely suffering.

[Courtney]

Gravely.

[Renee]

Gravely. And you know, the worst thing is we go on holiday and we enjoy this kind of weather, but it's because it's in the uk. This is actually oppression.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

The heat is oppressive.

[Courtney]

Yeah. There was a guy who made a tik tok on why the heat in the UK is so different to the heat everywhere else, and he was explaining it and it made a lot.

[Renee]

It made a lot of sense.

[Courtney]

Made a lot of sense. It's quite unfortunate.

[Renee]

Be drinking your water. Make sure that you are upping on that H2O. And something to accompany that H2O is the. To my sister's book, which is currently on sale on Amazon for £3,99. That. Yeah, it's not going to last forever, so you should get a copy of that book to support your sisters. All right, you little cheapskate, you get your little book now. Thank you. God bless you. But without further ado, we're actually heading into a ding, ding, ding dilemma. Are you happy after lamb busting us? Oh, my God. You know, some of the sisters. God bless you. Your feedback has been so kind. It's so kindly. I love what you're doing so far with the podcast, but this dilemma thing that you're doing, where it's cutting the episode is cutting me up. Oh, my God. And some of you just went straight in like, look, I don't like this. I said, good Lord.

[Courtney]

Heaven forbid somebody just to innovate. But all is well.

[Renee]

Sorry, girls.

[Courtney]

We're going back to what was working like. So I think someone even said, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. All right. Oh, all right.

[Renee]

When we saw the light count go up, we said, golly. Right, okay, we're back. Sorry.

[Courtney]

So dilemmas are back.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Ding, ding, ding. Yeah, Both of us are here. Don't worry. We are both here. Oh, my God.

[Renee]

Just because you saw even me or Courtney solo.

[Courtney]

Where's the others?

[Renee]

Oh, God. No, we love you, sisters. I appreciate the feedback.

[Courtney]

Yeah, we actually do. We actually do.

[Renee]

This is us being receptive, but, yeah, getting into the thick of it.

[Courtney]

Let's go.

[Renee]

Hi Courtney and Renee. Hello. It's been a pleasure hearing your podcast. Honestly, it's been a blessing during these last days which I have been listening to it. I would like to ask you how to get how to let go of past hurt and trying to communicate with others without feeling judged by by my friends. Being born early has resulted in me having a husky voice and I have been teased about it in primary school and was bullied in secondary school. My go to people are my mom and sisters from church. As I am starting a new school in September, I would like to know how to stand up for myself and tell my story without being judged anymore on my voice. Do you have any advice for me? Much love from your sister.

[Courtney]

Oh, that's such a good question. And thank you so much for sending in your dilemma. I think number one, most people make fun of people, one, because they're immature, right. Two, because they're mean, and three, because they just don't understand. It's usually just ignorant. And I think on the third part, when you're going into a new environment and you're stepping into a new stage of life, I think the most important thing is when you have something different about you helping people to kind of understand where that comes from. Especially if there is an explanation. For example, you saying you were born early if you're a preemie baby, like a premature baby. There are so many things that might be different about you, different about your development, which are not bad there. And I think where we kind of feel the sadness or people can feel the sadness because they're so misunderstood. And people use it as a way to kind of like project something onto your character or onto your capabilities. And so I think as best as you can, try and explain to people why your voice is like that. Like you said, like owning your story. Okay, my voice is like this because I was born way earlier than the the average person is born. You know, I wasn't born at nine months. I was born at six months, seven months. Whenever you were born and explaining that to people. Now, I'm not saying you have to go through life continually proving yourself, but I do think that for the rational mind, if somebody explains to you why there's a difference about them, you can basically just understand and accept it and also realize that, okay, this might be a touchy subject. Let me back off. The other thing that I would say is try and lean into people who give you the celebration and the acceptance that you actually deserve. So like you said, you have your mum and Your sister. But are there any other friends that you may find as you step into this new place who are like, you know what, we love you for who you are or we accept you for who you are. Lean into that versus trying to prove to everybody that, hey, you're good enough and worthy of, of acceptance. Lean into the people who really celebrate you and really love you. I also think a big thing for you to do is also to continue to reaffirm yourself as much as you can. So especially as you step into a new place, I can imagine it's daunting, probably riddles you with a bit of anxiety and worry. I think it'll be important to reinforce at this stage that you love yourself and you've accepted yourself and that you have accepted, accepted your story and you're grateful for where you are and how far you've come? I think once you become really resolved in that, people can't rob that from you.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

And so I would say stepping into that, that new space, it's important to cultivate the next level of confidence which you'll have in who you are. And I, I think lastly, I. This doesn't mean that there won't be some bad days. This doesn't mean that there won't be people who say something about you or misunderstand you and it won't upset you. And it's completely fine to feel that upset as well. But hopefully putting these certain things in place, like leaning into the places where you are accepted, affirming yourself and developing a new level of self confidence, hopefully will help you to bounce back a bit quicker from that disappointment or that anger or frustration. And then the last, the actual last thing I would say is lean on the authorities. I'm very much a big.

[Renee]

I was thinking back.

[Courtney]

If you're going to bully me, my, I hope you go to jail. That's, that's my North Star. It's almost like, how can I make sure this person is imprisoned?

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

You know, so personally for me, I genuinely think if you can, like, whatever institution you're stepping into or space, whether it's a workplace or school, whatever, lean on the authorities, you know, the head teacher, become best friends, the head of year ahead of six, whatever, the head of anywhere, become pals. And then if anybody does, you know, try it, just call your mate. Just be like, hey, if you can't even befriend a police officer, I don't know how you want to do it. I don't know how you want to navigate it personally, might want to Become friends with a judge. I don't know.

[Renee]

I'm screaming.

[Courtney]

But all levels of authority. Absolutely, absolutely. So I, I would just do that as well. Because sometimes we feel like we have to defend ourselves. But, but hopefully there are systems in place that will also defend us that we should not be afraid of leaning into. Because these institutions, as much as sometimes they don't work, when they do work, it is to protect things like our well being and our safety and our health. And if you feel like that is threatened by repeated bullying, which is a crime, then you should definitely lean into those structures. In my opinion. Don't be afraid to do that. And if you're a snitch, okay, jump me dead. And then that's, that's, that's the highway.

[Renee]

That's more strikes on your. That's, that's more strikes.

[Courtney]

Simple as. Go on. Yeah, so that's what I would say.

[Renee]

I think you put everything I was thinking perfect, especially lean on the authorities because this is actually criminal activity. You should not be bullying anyone. I am a staunch anti bullying advocate because why are you out here making somebody feel shame for something that's beyond their control? I'm also very much an advocate of make people feel awkward. Shame them because that story is really awkward. You're laughing at me because of my husky voice, but actually it was a very traumatic experience that produced that. So I'm a big believer of if you want to ask me awkward questions, I will make you feel doubly awkward for asking me such silly questions. Or rather making me feel uncomfortable for something that's beyond my control. Yeah. So if. Oh my gosh. Haha. You have a husky voice. Actually I went for a very traumatic experience at birth.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

What now? Yeah. What. Where are we going to move from forward to in the conversation? It gives me the same energy as you know when someone asks you like, oh, when are you gonna give birth to a child? I'm struggling with infertility. What are we going to do now? What? What? Well, where does the conversation go?

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

Nowhere. Because now both of us are feeling awkward. How about that? So very much an advocate of bring back shame. A little bit of shame to people that really deserve to be shamed for some of their criminal activities. And I love what you were saying around. Listen, it's such a cliche advice, but actually leaning in and loving yourself, this is something that actually makes you materially different from other people. That doesn't necessarily mean that it's a bad thing. And don't let this bad experience that you've had kind of growing up, especially because kids can be mean. We're just, whenever we experience or see somebody that is kind of different to us, we like, people can get mean. But girl, you could have a really nice voice. It's only because, you know, you're describing it as husky. Do you know how many people that have husky voices that go on to be like incredible voice actors? Dudes, I like. There's a lady on Tick Tock in particular that has a husky voice. Whenever she speaks, she commands my attention. I'm like, yes, lady, keep it up. You are different. You are cool. The sound of your voice is actually nice. So it might be that, you know, there's folks there that actually don't understand the value that you have based upon your difference and celebrating the fact that you are different. It's a beautiful thing and it's a very unique thing as well. So don't allow somebody else's insecurities, somebody else's mean girl or mean guy energy make you feel less than just because you're different. You keep girl with your little bedroom voice. You better keep talking to people and whatnot. You better keep whispering, whispering and all that, that stuff there. And practice the art of standing up for yourself because this is only like one or a couple of incidents that you may be experiencing as you're growing up. It's when you're in secondary school, sixth form university, all of that kind of stuff, you start to develop the real grounds of being able to fight your ground. Not necessarily just like defend yourself in terms trying to explain why you exist, but more so defending yourself and standing firm in your own confidence and your own uniqueness. So use this as actual practice to shame people that are coming at you sideways. It's very important to be able to hold an argument. And then lastly, as Courtney mentioned, go to the authorities. Yeah, please, please don't let anyone shame you from using the authorities. That's actually what they're there for and it actually helps so, so, so much. It's, it's very good to make friends with institutionalized authorities. Those are the people that actually carry power. And bullying is not a great thing to have on your report, your record or whatnot. So if it gets to that stage, then hey, it's them that's jeopardizing their future and not you. But sis, you are unique, you are brilliant and I'm sure you have an epic voice. So don't let that silence you. In fact, with all huskiness, you should be louder. Go start singing in the choir. I expect you to take up public speaking. Like, girl, that makes for such a great backstory. You know, an X factor when you go. And they have some epic, epic backstory of how they were silenced when they were growing up, bullied for their voice and whatnot. Girl, this is your opportunity. Take it with all huskiness. But we are sending you so much love. And sisters, have you ever experienced any kind of bullying, any kind of taunting, any kind of shaming for a part of you that is different, Whether it's your voice, whether it's your look, whether it's something that you can't control. If you have a tidbit of advice for our good sis here, please drop it like it's hot in the comments below. The Spotify girlies, you already know what it do. We got some comments on spot, guys, and make sure you leave it there for our good sis on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, y' all gotta do something about that. But come over to the other platforms to let us know what you're thinking. But sisters, we love you so, so, so much. And don't let that dampen what is a beautiful aspect of your identity.

[Courtney]

Nice. Nice.

[Renee]

I hope you girls are happy now that we have answered the dilemma.

[Courtney]

Keep them coming. Send us your dilemmas. Dilemmas at to my sisters dot com.

[Renee]

There you go.

[Courtney]

Just send us an email.

[Renee]

Thank you. And you can also submit them on our website as well. We actually have a dedicated page for dilemmas that go straight to us. We read them, please keep them. I believe there's a character limit on the website, so please adhere to that. I don't want to see part two. Just give me parts one and we can be as succinct as possible in getting to your issue. Now to the meat and bones of the conversation. Alas, we have reached the halfway point of 2025. 2025, which doesn't even feel like a real year. The folks that were born at the turn millennia are now 25, 25 years old. Crazy scenes. Adults. The prehistoric adults like us that were born in the 1990s. No, crazy, because I've been seeing. If you were born in this year, then have you thought about getting a chiropractor? If you were born in this year, have you thought about leg adjustments and hips this and this? And I'm like, I have, truly. But I'm not there yet. Okay, give me some time, give me some time.

[Courtney]

Shout out to the 97 born specific period, period.

[Renee]

Everybody else, get with the swag. We had a mini conversation. Checking in about, you know, our halfway point of the year already. If you're not part of the actual sisterhood, our digital private community, the link will be below in the YouTube description as well as the Spotify description to make sure that you are joining and not missing out. But we checked in on how our year is going so far, and truth be told, Courtney, it's been a busy year.

[Courtney]

It has.

[Renee]

And it's about to get even more busy.

[Courtney]

It is.

[Renee]

So I want to start there. It feels like it's been a bit of a whirlwind.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

Cdb.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

How you doing?

[Courtney]

I'm good. Yeah, I'm good. It has been a whirlwind of a year. It has. It's been a very interesting year. I think during our conversation and in the Sisterhood, I was talking about how I didn't really come into 2025 with many goals.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Because I just knew it was going to be filled with so many transitions that I was like, if I can just do the transition, yeah, I will have succeeded. Like, if I cross over from this point to the next point, I'm gonna be. So I think it's been me really going through that process. Like, I think when you're in a season of transition, it represents leaving some things behind. I was going to say losing some things, but more so leaving some things behind and beginning to understand and develop the skills to be able to steward where it is that you're going. And I think I've been in that process of, okay, I'm learning to let go. I'm learning to let go of certain behaviors, certain relationships, certain habits, certain beliefs. And I'm learning to embrace and develop new habits, new relationships, new beliefs that will allow me to step into where I'm on this journey, too. Which I think for me, this year has definitely been preparing to be married, preparing to move house. And I would say a lot of, like, in internal work that has manifested in my career kind of changing a little bit and me leaning into doing a lot more in terms of, like, serving in church, speaking more like just exploring new talents and gifts. And it's been really, really nice. But it's also been a year that has. Because of that, because I've been focused more so on transition. It's been a year that has been extremely busy but extremely slow.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

In that.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

As much as the year has been flying by. How do I say? I am used to being extremely busy to the point where I have to move fast. I have to physically, mentally move very quickly.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Even emotionally. Like I need to go over certain things very quickly because there's always something else to do. There's a meeting to jump into, a project to work on, an email to send, yada, yada, yada, yada. There's just my mind a million miles per hour. But because I've been so focused on just like unlearning and not even, well, letting go and becoming, I'll say letting go and becoming. I've had to slow down and like allow myself to process thoughts, process emotions, plan, be more organized. I got an assistant this year which took a whole bunch of admin off my back, which meant that I could really just slow down. Like I'm not doing as much as I was doing before. Work wise, I kind of just decided to take a bit of a break from the Internet, take a step back from just so many things that I've been like, wow, life has been slower because there's been less in it. So I've been able to just run at a way more calm, calculated pace. And so, yeah, it's been a wonderful half of the year. Yeah, I'm feeling rested despite still having quite a lot on my plate to deal with. But it's been really, really nice. I've enjoyed the first half of the year, looking forward to the second, and the second is where it looks like it's ramping up in terms of busyness. So here comes Hagel.

[Renee]

Oh, I can't wait for the post. H2. She knows. I say, how did you find the second half of 2024? Well, let me tell y', all, we've been through it. In case you guys are not aware of what's happening in H2. Many things are happening, many things are gone, many things are happening.

[Courtney]

But yeah, how about you? How's. How are you doing after H1?

[Renee]

Yeah, it's been, it's been a whirlwind. It's been a bit of a tornado in that many things have happened. Everything all at once. You know that film, Everything all at Once, that it feels like that title for me. But it's been a beautiful first half of the year. I have really, really enjoyed it and I've really loved it for typically different reasons than I would have enjoyed the first half of a year in my past years. So as someone who is very like goal oriented, productivity, girly, self improvement, all of that kind of jazz, this has also felt like a very slow year for me in that I feel like I've been forced to slow down and like live in the moment. I'm constantly running, I'm a go getter. All of them kind of labels that we give ourselves. Multifaceted, all that, all that jazz. I could only have one facet at a time. I could not do the whole, oh my gosh, she's doing so many multiple things at the same time. And so reckoning with the reality that I had to live in the moment and be present as one thing at a time has been a really beautiful process of evolution for me. And because one of my goals for this year was really to experience, experience and enjoy the present, but also reclaim my girlhood, part of that is actually doing one thing at a time and not taking up the multitude of responsibilities that I typically have, or rather I typically impose on myself. And also this has been a great year of people actually really showing up for me and letting people do that. Like actually letting people do that. I think typically in like the last few years of my life, people would have to forcibly help me, but this first half of the year I've had to go running for help. Like literally, whether it be, you know, having you or husband or family or whatnot, it's like actually having people that you run to for help and creating those safe spaces or safe harbors where I feel comfortable docking whenever I feel like I've drifted a little bit too far. And I, I've honestly, I've loved it, man. Like, it's been such a pivotal first half of the year for me. And I think very similarly almost taking a bit of a step back from public platforming, a little bit of a step back from career oriented goals where it's constantly about progression. And actually just being content in present moments has been so, so different for me to the point where sometimes I was like, is there something wrong with me? I feel a little bit unambitious because the pace is so much slower and we're not like go getting in the same way that I have done in like the last couple of years. But I think that in of itself is such a privilege to actually just, just stop and be present. I think it's actually symptomatic of, you know, capitalist society and symptomatic of everything that's wrong in society where worth and happiness and value is ascribed to how much we can think to the future, prepare for the future, rather than actually finding contentment in your present. And so the privilege of being able to be content in my present has been a big feature of H1 for me.

[Courtney]

Love that.

[Renee]

And like, yeah, just doing stuff for the heck of doing stuff has Been so much fun. This like what I would be thinking, oh, what am I going to do next? So for example, so such a small example but like, you know, the scooters, like the electric scooters. So I only fairly recently learned how to ride the scooters. Me, I'm a bit useless when it comes to some of these practical things. And I had to be somewhere in like an hour and I was with a friend. I was like, can we like ride on the scooters? She's like, girl, is everything okay with you? I said, yeah, I just want to ride on the scooters. And just that, that opportunity to be whimsical. I feel like that's what H1 feels like to me. It's. It's been a whimsical first half of the year. I've been just a girl.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

That whole just a girl movement, I've subscribed to it entirely for H1. Not without its challenges. But yeah, that's what H1 has felt like for me.

[Courtney]

Nice. I like that. Yeah. Yeah.

[Renee]

But I guess going into some of the tidbits that you shared about your H1 and I guess a little bit about my H1 before we kind of touch base on the lessons learned from H1, I wanted to touch on very briefly this whole notion of loss and shame.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

For a lot of us we may have experienced a first, a first half of the year that's not necessarily congruent with the ideals that we had for our year in general. Right. Like we may have started with these lofty goals of I want to achieve this by July, something, something. But this six months in and you have seen no progress. In fact, you might have seen a regression.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

Or you may be dealing with losses that you weren't anticipating. Whether it's loss of people, loss of relationships, loss of mindsets, lots of different things. How do we overcome the sense of shame that can be attached to getting so far in the year and feeling like you have nothing to show for it?

[Courtney]

Yeah. Such a good question. I think number one, as much as a year is a great time to set a particular goal and make progress on that goal, at the end of the day, life is so much more than just 2025.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Like if we're being complet honest. And as much as I do believe that time bound goals are important and setting a goal for December 31st to be the. By that time I would have accomplished X is so neat and it's so tidy and it can feel very satisfying.

[Renee]

Close your eyes Exhale.

[Courtney]

Feel your body relax and let go.

[Renee]

Of whatever you're carrying today. Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh, my gosh, they're so fast. And breathe. Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste. Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order.

[Courtney]

1-800-Contacts in. For some reasons, it's not always realistic. Like, it's not always realistic. Life is not as neat and as tidy as that. And so accepting, like you said, that sometimes we regress instead of progress. Sometimes we don't get started on things when we said we could. Sometimes also, life gets in the way. Like things outside of our control inhibit us from actually making the progress that we desire to make and thought we could make at a different point, different point where we were in different circumstances. And so I think it's one taking a step back to recognize I might not be on track to achieve my goal by the end of this year, but I couldn't do it across two years. I can do it across five years. I can do it across 10 years. Should it still be a goal that I have? Maybe I should reevaluate the time frame that I set for this particular goal. I think, number two, acknowledge whether this is still a goal you can actually still achieve this year. Because there are some goals that we have set maybe in January, which by June, we're like, whoa, haven't worked on that. But it takes maybe less than six months, less than three months to kind of fix. Some of them might be just habitual. So instilling some kind of routine or a different habit, you can still cultivate that. Even in the last one month, like we saw from last year, everyone was trying to do their winter arc and lock in. In the final midnight, 11th hour of the year. God's gonna turn it around.

[Renee]

Maybe.

[Courtney]

Maybe I can actually start instilling some of the things that I said that I would from January now. And I don't think July is, like, exempt from that. I think for the second half of the year, you can decide the second half of the year is going to be better than the first.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

And so maybe these goals, which I wrote down, I can actually still cultivate them. I can still put them in place and so start working on them like it's okay to be like, okay, what's my new game plan? What's my new attitude? And not allowing that to be fueled by, oh, I need to prove myself, oh my gosh, I've let myself down. Like that negative, shameful self talk, which is, how can you have left it this late? How can you not be where you thought you'd be, allowing yourself to recognize it's not too late for me to actually start putting these things in place.

[Renee]

I love that.

[Courtney]

And having that more optimistic mindset and then making some kind of game plan that says, okay, maybe before the game plan was 12 months, now it's six. So how can we revise this six month plan to actually be effective and to work? I feel like that's completely fine. And so the last thing that I would say is accept that you are so much more than your performance. I know that for a lot of us, especially in the personal growth development kind of space, if you're a personal development girly like us, you know that you love results. You love to see the change in yourself, in your mindset, and you love to see your life reflecting that change. However, you are so much more than just your performance or your hyper performance. You're so much more than just your ability to say, hey, I won this, I done this, I done that. It's okay for you to kind of reset and see yourself as somebody who is capable still of doing these things and still just has to kind of manifest them out of you, out of yourself. So, for example, I am, I'm not a lazy person. Like, if you can just affirm that to yourself, I am not a lazy person. And so because I am not lazy, I am going to take a different approach to the second half of the year. Rather than saying, because I feel so guilty for being lazy now out of my shame, I am going to do all these things that I didn't get to do in the first half of the year to prove myself I am not to prove to myself I am not lazy. That second one is less sustainable because it's gonna be fueled by fear, it's gonna be fueled by shame, it's gonna be fueled by a lack of identity. You don't even believe that you are the person who can actually do these things. Instead, tell yourself you are the person who can do these things. And now you're going to switch on.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Now you're actually going to start taking every day more intentionally because you are more than capable of actually doing it. So I think take this time to kind of reaffirm to yourself who you are.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

And what you can actually do and take the next 180 something days to continue proving that to yourself. That actually no, I am capable of making better decisions that I'm than I made before.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

And the person who maybe was stalling, whatever. Figure out why was I so behind over the last six months in my eyes, really identifying it and then being empathetic and compassionate. Compassionate with yourself enough to say those feelings are probably. All those reasons are probably very valid. So I was tired. I was way too tired. Or a work project came up. Or maybe I was, I was battling with my mental health. Like whatever it was, acknowledge it. Acknowledge it. Have compassion and empathy. This is also a great opportunity to just be honest with yourself. Shame and honesty are not the same thing. Shaming yourself and being like, you are just so xyz, which is why you can't or I can't do this. And even using that language, that's shame. Honesty is I slept way too much. Let me just be honest with herself. I was sleeping too much. Okay. I was sleeping too much. I like cake too much. Whatever it is, I went out of my friends too much. I have fear of missing out way too much wherever it is. Like, just, just acknowledge, okay, These are maybe the behaviors that I have that hold me back. Yes, I understand where they came from, maybe I don't. But I also acknowledge that, okay, Because I'm wired this way. That's why I'm struggling to actually put things into place. How can I unlearn these things so I can take a bit of a step back? So that's how I would productively approach it so that you are not caught up in. Because shame is so unhelpful. It's not going to help you produce long lasting sustainable results. So don't allow shame to drive you. It's just going arrest you. Next thing you know, 2026, you're going to have all your goals and be depressed. So let's just be productive in the way that we address it. Would you. Would you add anything?

[Renee]

Oh, girl, that was beautiful. No, that was actually beautiful. Especially the distinction that you made between shame and honesty.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

Because too many of us think they're the exact same thing. Not realizing how much they are producing such negativity in us. You can be honest without being, you know, trying to trigger the sense of shame that a lot of us feel. There's very few things that I would add to that. I think what you also brought up was the necessity of being a friend to yourself, whereas you might have been an enemy to yourself in the first half of the year, this is your chance to rectify that by actually being your friend. And I think it's easier for you to. As much as, you know, sometimes some of us are fueled by our enemies. It's actually, you know, I'm going to achieve this because I have some enemies to prove wrong. But how much easier is a goal is it, how much easier is it for you to be able to achieve a goal when you've actually got friendly faces around you? Think about, you know, the classic, you know, I'm going to do 75 medium or 75 hard or whatnot. Having the accountability of a friend as opposed to an enemy. Boy, life changing because enemy, you're constantly thinking, you're constantly comparing yourself, you're constantly thinking, I need to be better than, as opposed to, you know, having a compassionate environment around you to be able to sustainably hit your goals. And I think that starts internally. Are you actually a friend to yourself?

[Courtney]

Good question.

[Renee]

Have you been a friend to yourself this first half of the year or have you been actually an enemy to yourself? Like you've been mean, you've actually been the mean girl, but to yourself.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

And so many of us as women can find ourselves in a position where we are the mean girl, but just to ourselves. Just because you are not being mean to somebody else doesn't mean you're not being mean. It's probably something that's been internally channeled and that's something that I've definitely battled in trying to not be the mean girl to myself, actually being compassionate, actually saying, okay, cool, what are some of my triggers? You know, I can be honest to myself being girl, you know, I'm definitely the babe that you like too much kick, you like too much cake, you know, with a little bit too much custard too. You like that too much or you know, you slept a bit too much. Yeah, you know, or rather you just didn't sleep enough. You know, sometimes it's not even about like doing too much over rather the lack of right deficits in so many areas of our well being, our mental health, our happiness and our joy. So thinking about not just the things that you're going to remove to make yourself a better person this year, but what are the things that you need to add to make yourself a better person this year too. Is it that you need to sleep more? Is it that you, you need to eat more? Is it that because too many of us, yeah, especially girls, we'll go not drinking our water, we'll drink one cup of coffee in the morning, get to 6pm Talk about headache and dizzy spells. Why would you not be dizzy?

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

You're literally living on the half life of caffeine like you ain't had nothing. You know, just air. At God's mercy. That's it. That's it. Why am I not productive? You ain't like you, fasting.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

In fact, hunger strike.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

You have no f. Unintentionally. And I love that you even said that. Fuel. What is actually fueling your system in this second half of the year? What are you choosing to fuel your system as a woman? To be able to achieve your goals.

[Courtney]

Good.

[Renee]

But coming towards, you know, the end of the conversation. Small. Small. Not, not too much, girls. We ain't disappearing too much. But I want us to kind of share, you know, bar for Barn. It's giving Nick Cannon wilding out, but not too wilds with them. You're here, you know, very mindful. Three main lessons that you have learned in the first half of the year that you think is pivotal for other women to hear.

[Courtney]

Three main lessons from this year, I think, number one, it's okay to change. It's okay to change your mind. It's okay for your, Your like boundaries to change. It's okay for your. I don't know, I think evolution. Sometimes we think it's just becoming a, like a more enhanced version of ourselves, which is great.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

But sometimes you actually change completely. And I think transformation is great because it allows you to. To discover a new part of yourself which maybe you didn't even know you were working towards.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

And I think this year has helped me to realize it's okay to let go of things which maybe for the last 28 years of your life, you've been carrying with you. Like, it's actually okay to just be like, I'm not that person anymore. I don't do this thing anymore.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

I don't like that thing anymore. And allow yourself to experience that transformation and not be bound to who you used to be. Because I think for me, I. I think I started operating at a high level from a very young age. Let me just say that. Right. I know it sounds so like the.

[Renee]

Frontal lobe was already.

[Courtney]

Yeah, yeah. As you guys already say. I always say, as you guys already know. I always say it was trauma induced.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

But I feel like I've always been that person who's like, I think quite differently. I think at like quite a mature level. I know where I'm going. I know what I want. I know, know who I am and who I'm not and what I'll accept and what I won't. And as I've just gotten a little bit older, I'll say over the last couple of years, but, like, more reinforced this year, I've started to realize that I need to be more malleable. Like, I need to be way more malleable in my thinking, in my behaviors, in my reactions. I just need to be way more malleable. And that has come with me being like, okay, I have to lay down this part of me that I used to value and cherish so much.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Because maybe it's not productive for the next season. So I've just been learning. Okay, Courtney, it's all right to change. Like, it's all right to change the way you approach things and the way you also teach people to love you and interact with you because you are changing. They will also have to change their approach to you. And so it's okay to walk people through that evolution as well. So that'll be my first lesson. That's beautiful. Yeah. How about yourself?

[Renee]

Oh, first lesson. I think for me it would be it's okay to remain in stasis. I think that this world is constantly fast moving. Even when we look at trends on social media, how quickly things change to the point that you begin to compare yourself to other people's journeys. Because it doesn't feel like you're moving and not moving doesn't inherently mean that you're falling behind. So getting comfortable, not necessarily with. With stagnancy, which feels like you're not really making the progression that you want to make, but actually stasis, or rather homeostasis, where you've actually started to function or operate at a place of contentment. So getting used to being in stasis, like, it's actually okay. You don't have to move forward nor backwards. You can actually stay in a place for a period of time. And I think very similarly, this whole notion of having to keep moving very much trauma induced. It's the I need to keep moving forward. I need to keep progression. I need to keep doing, you know, doing some things, you know, to prove my worth. But my worth isn't found in how far I can move forward. It's found in the fact that I am.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

Like, my very existence is valuable. And I don't need to prove that I am valuable through the moves that I make that I then display on social media or even elsewhere. I can be completely dysfunctional where I am. I don't need to move. I can stay here for. For a couple of months time. Staying there forever is not a good, you know, don't be doing that. But it's actually okay to stay and to dwell. Like, it's okay to dwell. So I think for me, and probably for a lot of women that may be like me in that we can sometimes wrap our identity in how much we can do, how much we can prove, how much we can move forward. It's okay to dwell in a spot for a moment. Yeah, that's probably my first lesson. I like that. But what's number two for you CD Be?

[Courtney]

Oh, number two for me is go where love is. Go where love is. I think give us. I have been really leaning into community, really leaning into friends, really leaning into family this year. And it's been such a beautiful thing to just be loved. Like, to be held, to be seen, to be comforted, to be just showered with love in all its different forms. And I think sometimes when you are moving through life quite fast and quite quickly, we can get used to just tapping in here and there at a very shallow level with people because we don't have enough time, we don't have enough energy, or we're used to engaging with people in a particular way. But I think this year has allowed me to really appreciate people and the love that they have for me and the love that I have for them, and allowing that to build different types of relationships with people that have made me just feel very cradled in certain moments in such a beautiful way. Because as somebody who's very used to being hyper independent, as somebody who's very used to navigating this world and feeling quite like, alone in it, it's been really nice to have more people show up for me, like yourself and just other people who have been like, no, no, no, we're here. Like, we are here for you. You're not alone. And even if you don't explicitly or loudly call on us for help, we will insert ourselves because we want to be there for you. So that's been really beautiful. And I think allowing myself to. When I am in times of maybe sadness or loneliness or confusion and I need to bounce some stuff off people, or I am feeling just really low, being able to find myself of going where love is and yeah, okay, I want to rest in this person's presence. I want to get advice and counsel from this person. I know this person will show up for me. That has been a really beautiful and different thing, like, very different experience for me this year. But I think there's something so wildly beautiful about allowing people to be there for you, allowing people to love you and respect receiving it. I think that's. That's a thing that a lot of us struggle with, actually receiving the love that people are pouring out because there are some. If you are doing community well, there are amazing people around you who will pour out love that will genuinely nourish you. And I think God blesses us with those people in our lives. But it's so easy to just keep them at arms length or to not really engage in the beauty of those. Sometimes even those mundane moments, just chilling in your friend's presence, just going to help them with something, going shopping with someone, going like, just let me tag along, let me pop in here, let me. Let's just talk on the phone. Let's just. All of these small things that allow you to tap into where there's love, tap into where there's support, tap into where there's happiness and joy. For me, it's just been such a beautiful thing to be like, you know what? I need my community and I want to be where they are and I want them to be where I am. And so, yeah, go where the love is and let people love you for real.

[Renee]

That's so beautiful. Yeah, I'm sorry to comment on that. I love me an errand date. Yeah, I love an errand date.

[Courtney]

It's very nice. It's very nice to just do life with each other. Now.

[Renee]

Let me pop to the furniture store with you real quick. You know, let me go pay some bills with you too. Hop in the car, let's go to the post office to get this ask my love language right now. Number two for me would be don't run from the opportunity, rise to the occasion. Because I have a. I've had a terrible habit of running away from things or like trying to detach from things as opposed to dealing with things head on. So I can create the impression that, okay, I've dealt with this, I've overcome this, but I still have residual feelings about a particular situation and so rising to the occasion fully. I feel this way very similar to what you were saying around.

[Courtney]

I.

[Renee]

This event has triggered this emotion in me. I'm going to rise to the fact that this has happened. Like, I, I acknowledge that I have felt upset by this, but I'm not going to allow that to make me run away from a situation that can be remedied. And so rising to the occasion, whether it is you're dealing with the loss of a relationship, whether you're dealing with the loss of a job, even, like, rising to the occasion. And rather than, you know, running away, burying your head in the sand, thinking, you know, delusionally that things are going to just get better by themselves, it's really rising to the occasion. Sometimes you just gotta step up. Yeah, you absolutely have to step up. And H1 has been a very big time of just like, you need to step up to the plate. And I think, as you know, we're consciously thinking about our communities, about family, about all of the kind of things that we want to instill to, like, the next generation. It has become even more important that, that, you know, we deal with some of the things that we've been struggling with as women at this particular time, at least for me, I'm just like, oh, wow, this holy spirit is really convicting me on some stuff that I thought is not really that deep, but it is deep, and it's really important that you deal with it now. And so rising to the occasion, seeing conflict as an opportunity, seeing, you know, when there's discomfort as an opportunity to identify, okay, what's really at the root here. Practicing sharing exactly what I think and feel in a moment. Not being so worried about, like, self censorship or being worried about the consequences of me being totally, radically honest. And so get into that place and getting there more quickly has been something that has been life changing because it just makes relationships so much easier.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

It's so funny how we default to such toxic behaviors, thinking that, you know, this is the best way to deal with something. Not realizing that we're constantly etching away at some of our relationships, we're just like, chipping away at it block by block. And so realizing and recognizing that every single challenge is an opportunity for you to rise to the occasion as opposed to run away from it.

[Courtney]

Amen. Said that. I like that.

[Renee]

But yeah, the third and final tidbit that you're living the girls with.

[Courtney]

Oh, okay. What is my last.

[Renee]

My last Nick Cannon wilding out.

[Courtney]

Yeah. My last thought. I honestly, I would say, Courtney, you're doing better than you think. That's it. Like, it's been my biggest lesson this year. To one, really be grateful. Like, really be grateful for just how far I. I've come and to be grateful for how much I've had stored in me that has come out in this season that it's like, oh, wow, I. I'm so proud of how much I've changed in certain ways. Like, I'm so proud of how I think about things differently, how my character has changed and how that is proving itself this year as so many things, as so many changes. And like you said, opportunities to rise to the occasion have come up. I've been like, wow. Let me acknowledge, you handled that really well. You thought about this really well. You acted on that really well. You performed really well. You took that in your stride. Like, actually affirming that what God's been doing in you for the last, like, 10 years has been working. Like, it really has been working. Especially as someone who finds it easier to acknowledge their faults, it's been lovely to acknowledge that. Hey, babe. You are doing really, really, really well.

[Renee]

That's so important.

[Courtney]

And also, like, you don't. You've never been here before. You've never done this before. And so for you to be showing up at this level, at this stage. You're doing great, sweetie. You're doing great, period. How about yourself? What's your last.

[Renee]

I know that's right. Oh, that was good, girl.

[Courtney]

Thank you.

[Renee]

Yes, definitely give a mic drop again. I think for me, it would be honor my rhythm. I think this has been. The first half of the year, has been. Been such a important opportunity for me to know what my rhythm is and actually listen to it. Like, it's one thing to acknowledge, oh, I'm tired, but it's another thing to actually honor that and go to bed. And I think that this has been a great first half of the year for me because that's one thing that I've actively honored. Like, oh, I'm feeling tired, or, you know, it's the second half of my cycle. Not to say that I'm blaming or ascribing totally all of my issues to. To my emotional up and downs, but it's actually me being in tune with myself and knowing, okay, cool. My intuition here is actually speaking to something a bit grander. And it's important for me to key into my intuition as opposed to ignore my intuition. It's important for me to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit rather than ignore it, because I think I know better.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

In my mind, even though my body is telling me something completely different. And that's been so. So like, I've had such an easier experience of being in my body because I know my body. And so I think the temptation going into the second half of the year is things have not been showing. Like, I want more things to happen in my life, so I'm gonna have to, like, overcome certain things. I'm gonna have to punish myself Whereas the smartest thing that a lot of us can do as women is actually honor the rhythm of our body. We can get, like, actually working in tune with ourselves rather than working a against ourselves. And I think it kind of underpins the point I was making earlier about being a friend to yourself. One of the best ways that you can be a friend to yourself is honor the rhythm that your body is telling you. And if you do feel like your rhythm is out of whack, maybe that's actually sign of something bigger than just you. Like, this isn't just a. I'm feeling tired all the time. I'm honoring the tiredness, but things are not getting better. Maybe that's your opportunity to be like, okay, maybe I need therapy, or maybe I need to go get a clean clinical diagnosis. And it's only when you honor the rhythm that you can diagnose when something is wrong. So actually continue practicing. Honoring the rhythm that my body has set.

[Courtney]

That's good.

[Renee]

Is what my last would be.

[Courtney]

I like that. I like that. I like that. Sisters, it'll be good to hear your lessons from the first half of this year that you're carrying into the second half to hopefully make it better or at least make it easier on you. Yeah, be really good. Please drop them in the comments.

[Renee]

Oh, we can do a little compilation as well. So, ladies, don't be like. Don't be. Don't be like, you know, keeping it close to your chest. Chef things. Don't be gatekeeping. That's the word I was looking for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. Appreciate that. Don't be gatekeeping. The lessons that you've learned in the first half of this year. Drop it like it's hot in the comments below. Sisters, we hope that you enjoyed that conversation. We pray for a a fruitful, productive, but also restful second half of the year. Whether you are gearing up or slowing down, we really pray that God's grace goes before you. And, sisters, we will catch you in yet another episode. So stay tuned. Make sure. Hey, there's a lot of new sisters that are coming around too, so, you know, hello. Hi. It's nice to see y'. All. Great. Welcome to the sisterhood. We hope you stick around, hopefully for an in person as well. So we hope to see you in person, but yeah, that's our love for the week. Sisters, as always, keep glowing and growing with McValue. At McDonald's, you don't just get deals on the drinks. You get deals on McDonald's drinks. So when you're breaking a sweat. Embrace the chill without breaking the bank. And when your crew is running on empty, keep your wallet full while refreshing the square quad. Get more than you expect on your favorite medium drinks like frozen Fanta blue raspberry iced coffee or lemonade. Now at just 229. Price and participation may vary. Cannot be combined with any other offer.