Sisterhood Is Your SECRET WEAPON In This Season

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Sisterhood Is Your SECRET WEAPON In This Season"

Podcast Information:

• Title: To My Sisters
• Hosts: Courtney Daniella Boateng & Renée Kapuku
• Episode Title: Sisterhood Is Your SECRET WEAPON In This Season
• Release Date: September 29, 2024
• Description: "Join your online big sisters Courtney and Renee as they delve deeper into the realities of navigating adulthood, sisterhood and more. To My Sisters is the podcast you needed - promoting the holistic wellness, growth and development of a community of sisters across the globe."

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1. Introduction to the Episode's Theme

In this empowering episode, hosts Courtney Daniella Boateng and Renée Kapuku explore the profound impact of sisterhood on personal healing and growth. They delve into how strong, supportive relationships among women can serve as a critical tool for overcoming mental health challenges such as depression and anxiety.

2. The Importance of Self-Compassion and Healing

Courtney emphasizes the necessity of self-compassion as the foundation for healing. She states, “When we think of healing and we think of becoming a better person, we think of discipline or being the disciplinarian comes out of us. Right. You haven't been meeting your goals. So naturally we want to punish ourselves. But punishment will just drive you further and further away from the woman that you want to be” ([03:22]).

The conversation highlights that healing is not merely about self-improvement through discipline but about nurturing oneself with love and understanding. Courtney advocates for forgiving one’s past self as a pivotal step in the healing journey.

3. The Role of Sisterhood in Overcoming Mental Health Challenges

Renée describes sisterhood as a powerful weapon against depression and anxiety, noting, “Sisterhood is such a weapon against depression, against anxiety. And these are the things that are running a ride among us” ([00:43]).

The hosts discuss how having a supportive sisterhood provides emotional stability and encouragement, which are essential for overcoming mental health struggles. Emanuela, a guest on the episode, adds that meaningful relationships can awaken individuals to the need for personal change: “So sometimes we need to give people that love and that commitment so that they become awakened to the fact that, baby girl, you need to wake up and change” ([00:52]).

4. Personal Stories and Experiences

Both Courtney and Emanuela share personal anecdotes about their own healing journeys. Courtney reflects on her past struggles with self-esteem, saying, “I'm thinking of Renee at 16, 17, who wasn't aware of her worth... I'm thinking of Renee at 12 that was bullied and told, you're not pretty enough, you're not worthy” ([04:31]).

Emanuela shares her battles with PCOS and the extreme mood swings that accompanied it, highlighting the importance of having a sister who never gave up on her: “If it wasn't for my friend being like, I hate you right now, but I love you deep down and not giving up on me in those phases, I wouldn't have come to a place where... I need to change” ([13:17]).

5. Practical Advice for Listeners

The hosts offer actionable steps for listeners who feel they have abandoned themselves and wish to reconnect:

• Self-Compassion: Begin by loving and forgiving your past self. Courtney advises, “To the sisters that are listening that have abandoned themselves, the first thing I'm saying to you is it takes one. Yes. And saying yes to yourself and saying, I actually love me” ([03:22]).

• Writing Letters: They discuss the therapeutic practice of writing letters to one’s past and future selves as a means of reconciliation and self-forgiveness.

• Accountability Partners: Emphasizing the power of mutual support, they suggest finding a sister who can serve as an accountability partner to help stay on track with personal goals.

6. The Significance of Accountability and Mutual Support

Emanuela underscores the importance of having someone to hold you accountable: “And there is something about agreeing with your sister as it pertains to your finances, obviously, in other areas as well... joint accountability” ([20:52]).

The episode highlights how sisters can provide not only emotional support but also practical assistance in areas like finances, personal development, and navigating life’s challenges together.

7. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

In wrapping up, Courtney and Renée reinforce the central theme that sisterhood is an essential tool for personal and communal growth. They encourage listeners to engage with their community, support one another, and actively participate in building a strong, interconnected sisterhood.

Courtney concludes with a powerful analogy: “There is something about having people around you, standing with you, fighting beside you. An army that you are facing looks intimidating when you look beside you and there's nobody there” ([22:01]).

The episode finishes with a heartfelt invitation to listeners to deepen their connections, read the hosts' book on sisterhood, and participate in upcoming in-person events to continue the conversation on healing and growth.

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Notable Quotes:

• “Sisterhood is such a weapon against depression, against anxiety.” — Renée Kapuki ([00:43])

• “I think sometimes you put it quite perfectly that difficult things are simple.” — Courtney ([02:34])

• “It starts with your yes.” — Courtney ([02:33])

• “You are loved first before you're healed.” — Courtney ([07:59])

• “We love you, and we love the past you. We love all versions of you.” — Courtney ([07:59])

• “Division is not your destiny. You need your sisters.” — Renée Kapuki ([17:19])

• “Sisterhood is a weapon of warfare.” — Emanuela ([17:43])

• “What you are bringing is your strengths, and your sisters bring theirs. Together, you are unstoppable.” — Emanuela ([27:19])

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Final Thoughts:

"Sisterhood Is Your SECRET WEAPON In This Season" is a deeply moving and insightful episode that underscores the transformative power of sisterhood. Through personal stories, practical advice, and heartfelt discussions, Courtney, Renée, and Emanuela provide listeners with the tools and inspiration needed to foster strong, supportive relationships that facilitate healing and personal growth.

For those seeking to rebuild their sense of self and find strength in community, this episode serves as a compelling guide to embracing the sisterhood that can propel them toward a healthier, more fulfilling life.

Transcript

[Renee Kapuki]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. With the price of just about everything going up during inflation, we thought we'd bring our prices down. So to help us, we brought in a reverse auctioneer, which is apparently a.

[Courtney]

Thing Mint Mobile unlimited premium wireless.

[Emanuela]

30.

[Courtney]

30. Bid to get 30. 20, 20. Better get 20. 20. 15. 15. 15. Just 15 bucks a month.

[Emanuela]

Sold.

[Renee Kapuki]

Give it a [e-mail] Switch.

[Courtney]

$45 upfront payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three month plan only. Taxes and fees. Extra Speed slower above 40g. Detailed.

[Renee Kapuki]

What would you say to the sisters who have abandoned themselves and want to pick themselves up again?

[Courtney]

People don't understand the true value of having people around you. Having sisters.

[Renee Kapuki]

Sisterhood is such a weapon against depression, against anxiety. And these are the things that are running a ride among us.

[Emanuela]

So sometimes we need to give people that love and that commitment so that they become awakened to the fact that, baby girl, you need to wake up and change.

[Renee Kapuki]

Yeah. Come on.

[Emanuela]

Not just for you, but for us.

[Renee Kapuki]

Hi, sisters, it's me again. If you haven't seen my face, it's probably because you haven't watched our previous episodes. But the sisters are in the heart seat. Say, hey.

[Courtney]

Hello.

[Renee Kapuki]

We have been delving deep into all things healing, not abandoning yourself and abandoning perfection. On today's episode, we're going a little bit deeper, Deeper, deeper.

[Courtney]

Just in the kiddie pool.

[Renee Kapuki]

Just, you know, watching. What would you say to the sisters who have abandoned themselves and want to pick themselves up again? Yeah, that's deep. Yeah, that is deep. Because it's so easy to say, get up, get up, get up. Yeah, get up out of that grave. But it's like when maybe you haven't. But perhaps they don't have the frameworks in place or perhaps they have the community to support them. Like, I think it's easy to heal within a certain. Okay, it's simple to heal within a certain context, but there are certain context contexts that make healing quite turbulent. And. Yeah. What would you advise to the sisters who are deeply, like, want to heal? They want to meet the woman on the other. On the other side of healing. Yeah. What would you equip them with?

[Emanuela]

Wow, that's a deep one.

[Courtney]

It's a very serious question. First of all, the first thing that came to mind for me is it starts with your. Yes.

[Emanuela]

Wow.

[Courtney]

I think sometimes you put it quite perfectly that difficult things are simple. Yeah, right. It's. We have all of the slogans, we have all of the taglines, you know.

[Emanuela]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Turn up, you know.

[Renee Kapuki]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Abandon perfectionism. Let's get on to that journey.

[Emanuela]

Let's get going.

[Courtney]

I think, you know, as we've been speaking over the last few episodes, like I love what you were saying around being compassionate as a mentor, but I think what this requires is compassion within yourself. You have to reactivate compassion for yourself. I think sometimes when we think of healing and we think of becoming a better person, we think of discipline or being the disciplinarian comes out of us. Right. You haven't been meeting your goals. So naturally we want to punish ourselves. But punishment will just drive you further and further away from the woman that you want to be.

[Renee Kapuki]

Come on.

[Courtney]

When we think of, for example, our relationship with our parents, as much as discipline is necessary and punishment is necessary, it is often precluded with love. When we think of our relationship that we have with God. Right. There is a reason why there is so much emphasis on God being love because it means that we haven't quite gotten it yet. Right. So it really is about showing yourself compassion first. Really understanding what it means to love myself and give myself love and identifying myself as being worthy and capable of love. So to the sisters that are listening that have abandoned themselves, the first thing I'm saying to you is it takes one. Yes. And saying yes to yourself and saying, I actually love me. Like I care about me.

[Renee Kapuki]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

That I need to take care of me and I have love. Not only do I love me, but I also love my past self. Wow. Because it's so easy for us, we focus so much on our future self. The future woman that I want to be.

[Renee Kapuki]

Yeah. Come on.

[Courtney]

That not only do we abandon the woman that we are now, but we've abandoned and discarded our past self.

[Renee Kapuki]

Come on.

[Courtney]

If there's one thing that has been so pivotal to my own personal healing journey.

[Renee Kapuki]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

It's loving past Renee.

[Emanuela]

Yes.

[Courtney]

You know when they say be the person that you needed when you were younger. I'm thinking of her. I'm thinking of 15 year old Renee when she was out here. Like she was suffering from so much self esteem issues. I'm thinking of Renee at 16, 17, who wasn't aware of her worth. I'm thinking of Renee even in her 20s that needed someone to say, babe, you're actually worth it. I'm thinking of Renee at 12 that was bullied and told, you're this, you're that, you're. You're not pretty enough, you're not worthy, you're. You're this. Like I'm thinking of that.

[Renee Kapuki]

Do they need glasses?

[Courtney]

Lies, girl. You know, it's not even that. Do they need glasses? I needed glasses. I needed to be able to see. Did I physically come here?

[Emanuela]

Sorry.

[Courtney]

No, that's good. I definitely needed glasses. I was up there. I can't see that. I can't see nothing. Maybe if I had glasses there, I would be able to see it as well. All in God's timing. Yeah, but abandoning, like, really showing compassion to yourself, but compassion to your past self.

[Renee Kapuki]

Come on.

[Courtney]

We did. You did the best with what you had.

[Emanuela]

This is it.

[Courtney]

And there was one thing that we did on one of our past TMS experiences.

[Renee Kapuki]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Just plug in the TMS experience. If you haven't gone, you should go. Because it's actually life.

[Renee Kapuki]

Yeah. You need to be there.

[Courtney]

Oh, you have to. And I believe it was in, I think, South Africa that we did the. Write a letter to your past self.

[Renee Kapuki]

I love this.

[Courtney]

And we all have the. Yeah, I'm going to write a letter to my future self. Yeah. In 10 years time, five years time, I'm going to be this, this, that I'm going to be worthy of love. In five years time, I'm going to be worthy of love. In 10 years time. Writing a letter to yourself. Something that you needed to hear in your past self. Right. Like, and in my letter saying, renee, I love you, I started with, renee, I actually love you. You were going through a lot. And I see you, right? Seeing your past self, reckoning with your past self, understanding that your past self was the foundation you needed for your current self and will be the foundation and the place of testim, your future self. That is reconciling the different selves of you across your life's timelines and forgiving yourself, too. Because, yes, we've made poor decisions, but it's okay. There's redemption.

[Renee Kapuki]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

And often times the journey to healing to make any meaningful progress starts with forgiveness. Not just forgiveness to other people, but forgiving your past self. Go back. You, when you were 15, you needed to be forgiven. You when you were 18, you needed to be forgiven. So give yourself the Listen, every time we end these relationships, right. It's like, I need closure. I need closure.

[Emanuela]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

All right. It's not about revisiting and returning to that place and staying there. It's about revisiting there and doing the things that you should have done back then.

[Renee Kapuki]

Come on.

[Courtney]

And closing that chapter and closing that chapter doesn't look like beleaguering yourself or hammering yourself for what you did. It means going back and saying, babe, I got you now. I've got you now. So if you're a sister listening and you've abandoned yourself, you need to go back.

[Renee Kapuki]

Come on.

[Courtney]

Go back and say, babe, I love you. I'm sorry. And even meditating on that, who was I before? And even recognizing that you've even made progress since then, too. Right? Because we often think, oh, I've stayed stagnant in this place. No, you haven't. You've grown. The fact that you're even sitting here today, standing here and thinking, oh, wow, I want to do something with my life. The fact you even listening to this podcast right now is proof that there's something on the inside of you that doesn't want to be abandoned. There's something on the inside of you that's still saying that, oh, there is still worth on the earth. There's something still drawing me out, calling me out to do something that's worthwhile.

[Renee Kapuki]

Amazing.

[Courtney]

So, first of all, well done.

[Renee Kapuki]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

You are loved.

[Renee Kapuki]

We love you.

[Courtney]

We love you, and we love the past you. We love all versions of you. And it is not contingent on you being healed for you to be loved. You are loved first before you're healed.

[Emanuela]

Jesus.

[Courtney]

So go back and say to yourself, I love you. I care about you. And it's from that place of love.

[Renee Kapuki]

Come on.

[Courtney]

Picking yourself back up, that you can make any meaningful progress to the future. But it starts from a place of compassion. Love yourself. Have a revelation of that love. Forgive yourself. You did the best with what you had at the time, and now you can do better.

[Renee Kapuki]

Ladies, the OG lover girl, Ms. Renee.

[Emanuela]

That was good. And to be fair, there's nothing I can add to that because that's it. You have to go and recognize that your past self is worth saving. She's worth trying again. It's working on that self worth, even towards your past self. So that was excellent. I'm sure somebody got what they needed from that, Renee. Somebody got what they needed from that 100%. So I think the only thing I can add is then on the flip side, because there are some women who, even when they look at their past, there's so much hatred and disconnection from that person and what they've been through that it's like, I don't even want to look at her face. I don't want to imagine who I was when I was 15. I get the ache. I hate her. But also, there are. There are, especially as women, there are some deep traumas we can experience in our life that never. That makes you dissociate from that person. I left that person there because if she was still attaching me, I wouldn't live.

[Renee Kapuki]

Speak on it.

[Emanuela]

I wouldn't, like, speak on it. If I really resonate with her, I don't want to go back there. I. She died there, and we're leaving her dead. Do you get what I mean to that person? I wouldn't even speak to them. I would speak to their friends because. And. And I would want them to listen because if there is a woman around you, you're like, oh, she never changes. She's always complaining about this. Why doesn't she just make the move that she needs to make? Why don't you just do the thing she needs to do? It's probably because she has abandoned herself. And the only thing that will remind her not to abandon herself is if you don't abandon her, you need to remind her of her worth.

[Renee Kapuki]

Wow.

[Emanuela]

And it takes. And this is why the journey of sisterhood and friendship is so important. Because sometimes when you cannot show yourself, nurture. Your friends will show you the nurture you need. Your friends are the ones who will remind you, Renee or Courtney, you are worth loving. And whether you keep projecting my love or not, I'm going to keep showing up because I want my love to so overflow that you start to love yourself. I need you to stop thinking I don't deserve love and start realizing that because I keep showing up for you, and I'm not going to give up on you. And no matter how much you push me away, no matter. No matter how much you don't respond to my messages, no matter your bad behavior, God has brought me into this ministry of being your sister. So you actually cannot get rid of me. Until I choose to say no to this assignment, you cannot get rid of me. And sometimes we need to talk about sisterhood and real rap. If you have not read our book, you have to. Because sisterhood sometimes is not just about friendship. I met this person. We get on. I like them. A lot of times. Sisterhood is a position assigned to you by God, and God's sending you on an assignment, and often times he's sending you on that assignment to people who have given up on themselves. And so he needs assistance, Sister, to remind them, I'm not going to give up on you. Do you get what I mean? And so it's not even about, oh, she pissed me off, and now I'm not going to be her friend anymore. Sister, you are there on an assignment, and your assignment is to remind this woman no matter how much you push me away and no matter how much you've given up on yourself, I'm not going to give up on you. And my hope is that you'll begin to question, why do I keep pushing this person away and they're not giving up on me? And it will remind you that you are worth continuing to love. And hopefully you would then begin to show that to yourself, that actually, despite your bad behavior, I have some friends around me. Your behavior is bad. My behavior is so bad. But when I think about my own journey, then I remember doing a speaking engagement and I talked about my mum one day and I said, there is a phase in my life where I look back and I think, any mother would have thrown me away. Any mother would have said, get out of this phase.

[Courtney]

Go.

[Emanuela]

Go away. Like, you're a headache, you're a nuisance to society. Get out of here. And a lot of people see me now and they can never imagine that. But that woman saw the real me. I mean, she saw the parts of myself which I was like, I'm God. Look, I don't care about personal growth. I don't care about personal growth.

[Courtney]

What is that?

[Emanuela]

We can all die in this list. If I'm going down, I'll come down with me.

[Renee Kapuki]

Literally.

[Emanuela]

But she saw all of that and she still continued to love me. Was it perfect? No. But she still continued to love me to the point where I sat down one and I thought, this woman doesn't deserve this. This woman doesn't deserve my bad behavior. And so I started to realize that even my acceptance of myself wasn't even motivated by me. It was motivated by her. She deserves better than this.

[Renee Kapuki]

Come on.

[Emanuela]

Even with friendship as well, my friend, that she deserves better than this. The way they've sacrificed to do this. Despite the fact that I don't show up, despite the fact that sometimes I can be mean, despite the fact that sometimes I can have my bad mood swings, they still show up for me so consistently that I've now come to my senses to realize they don't deserve this. I need to change. And so. And so that then probes you to work on yourself.

[Courtney]

No.

[Emanuela]

And that then probes you to move on your work, on yourself. And that's why the ministry of sisterhood is so important. Because what you're doing is reviving something in somebody that has died a long time ago. So sometimes we need to give people that love and that commitment so that they become awakened to the fact that, baby girl, you need to wake up and Change?

[Renee Kapuki]

Yeah. Come on.

[Emanuela]

Not just for you, but for us. But for us. And once the season end, the season ends. But I'm so thankful for, like, even my friendship with Renee. I can tell you guys, sometimes my attitude can be foul. Especially sometimes my attitude can be foul sometimes because, like, with pcos, you can get really bad mood swings. You can get really fatigued. And so I remember, like, trying to navigate through my diagnosis. I would even in myself be like, around my, like, period when it was really bad, I would get extremely. Because of hormonal imbalance. So we need to have more conversations for that. For women, I would get severely depressed. Like, severely depressed, severely anxious, and to some like, degree, at the beginning stages, I would feel suicidal. Just because of a period, because of a men's seat. You can't just come and go in five days. You've got to try and kill me.

[Courtney]

This day. I said it should be an email. To this day, it should be an email. I just want to ping it. You're not pregnant. Okay, 100.

[Emanuela]

But all of that was happening to me. And obviously you can imagine if that's happening to you as a person. You're not even thinking about how you're treating other people. You're trying to stay alive. Literally, you're just trying to stay alive.

[Renee Kapuki]

You're life out of these.

[Emanuela]

All of these thoughts that are going through your friend, your mind. Sorry. And I know there are a lot of women, even postpartum, they go through that because of hormonal imbalance. Right. And if it wasn't for my friend being like, I hate you right now, but I love you deep down and not giving up on me in those phases, I wouldn't have come to a place where one, I'm like, courtney, this affecting your friendship, and it's a friendship with someone you so deeply care about, a friendship with someone who has so committed themselves to you and your growth and to loving you. Do you not think maybe you should change? Do you not think maybe you should address? And it's funny, but really it's like, do you not think maybe you should address what's at the root of these extreme mood swings? Because you're going to lose someone who really matters to you. And then that brings you to a new development of, okay, now I need to get to know myself better. And I can't just settle at this being my daily or monthly experience. I actually have to trust that my life can be different from this. So whilst this thing is afflicting me, there is a new motivation for my Healing. And it's not just me, it's also my sister. So I think that's a dimension of sisterhood that we also need to unlock. Because the self awareness and the self control sometimes doesn't come till someone's holding a mirror up to you.

[Courtney]

Oh man.

[Emanuela]

You know, that's what I wanted to add to that. Take that and do what you want.

[Courtney]

With fire emoji is giving.

[Renee Kapuki]

Drop them literally. Drop 10 fire emojis in the comments right now. If you're watching on YouTube. YouTube. Drop, drop, drop the flaming heart emoji. Cuz it was love, but it was fiery. It was giving.

[Courtney]

Live the emojis with money.

[Renee Kapuki]

Okay. Cash app in the description.

[Courtney]

Donate to our building. We build.

[Emanuela]

Yeah, we actually building.

[Renee Kapuki]

They're building a school. I just want to use that point to segue into their book. Guys, these women have written a book about sisterhood.

[Courtney]

Get the paperback.

[Renee Kapuki]

If your favorite color is blue. Yeah, they got that. If it's pink, they got that too.

[Courtney]

To be honest, we don't care what your favorite color is.

[Emanuela]

Just by the book, by the time book placement. This is our channel.

[Renee Kapuki]

Oh my God.

[Courtney]

This one that we said we're not the host today, we are the guest. Here's our book.

[Renee Kapuki]

Honestly, guys, you need to read this book on sisterhood. Sisterhood is such a weapon against, against depression, against anxiety. And these are the things that are running a ride among us. Division is not. Is not your destiny.

[Emanuela]

Division is not your destiny.

[Renee Kapuki]

Division is not your destiny. Division is not your destiny. You need your sisters. All this, me, my, my kids. Leave it, leave it at the door.

[Emanuela]

No, no, no. You leave them. So you need sisters around you.

[Renee Kapuki]

I need sisters too.

[Emanuela]

You and I love that you said that actually, because it's something that we've been saying a lot in 2024. Sisterhood is a weapon. Even as we were talking about healing and it's like sisterhood and your friendships is a tool in your toolkit or a bar in your framework. Sisterhood is a weapon of warfare.

[Renee Kapuki]

Come on.

[Emanuela]

When you are going through a lot and it feels like I'm losing my mind, I'm losing my hope, I'm losing my money, I'm losing my man. I'm losing everything, just everything. I'm losing the thing that you're going to literally just everything. The thing that you're going to run to is your friends. The thing that you're going to run to is the people who are around you. And God help you if you don't have wise counselor around you. The Bible talks about how, like, blessed is a person who does not sit in the company of the wicked.

[Courtney]

There you go.

[Emanuela]

Who does not sit in the company of the scornful.

[Renee Kapuki]

Come on.

[Emanuela]

So what happens if you are in the company of the wicked? You ain't blessed, honey. You are cursed. Hey, and that's the thing. When you look at sisterhood, you think to yourself, in my time of need, in my time of need, this is the person who's going to be holding me up. Woe to me if this person is not strong. Woe to you if when you are down, bad, the people who you're meant to call on, the people who are meant to pray for you, the people who are meant to advise you are wicked and scoreful. Really and truly woe to you. Because what you're going to have is your friends will be laughing at you. Truly. And that's how you know your friends are really your enemies, right? But when you have real sisters, you have people who are on your side. You have people who are waging war with you. And that. That battle ax that is sisterhood is. I'm not just coming. It's something that Diane Brownie said about her mother, but also the women in her life. I'm not just coming into the room with me. I'm coming with my sisters. I'm coming backed by women who have my. If someone jumps me right now, I have five people I can call who would jump you right back, right? We won't.

[Renee Kapuki]

Because the weapons of our warfare are not there.

[Emanuela]

We go. But we love the Lord. But I know I that back in. Do you get what I mean? I know that behind me is not just God, but also in the physical. I can look around. No, I am not alone.

[Renee Kapuki]

Come on.

[Emanuela]

I actually have a sister in my time of need.

[Renee Kapuki]

Come on.

[Emanuela]

I have a sister in my time of need. And a lot of us think we have friends because we have people we go to brunch with. But your friends aren't there. In your time of need, when the phone aren't there for brunch, who are your friends? Who's coming to your house and being like, here's some toast. Yeah, I also don't have money. But if we divide this toast between us and we go and buy one strawberry at Sainsbury's, we have a good time.

[Courtney]

Listen.

[Emanuela]

We have a good time.

[Courtney]

Listen, I. When I say I love, I love. Because also, sisterhood is a weapon against brokenness.

[Emanuela]

Wow. Big fact. If you don't have money, hey, you.

[Courtney]

Need your sister's Boy, let me tell you something.

[Renee Kapuki]

Wow.

[Courtney]

The way that.

[Renee Kapuki]

Wow.

[Courtney]

My finances have been blessed by having sisters.

[Renee Kapuki]

Wow.

[Courtney]

Because people are often waiting. I'm gonna wait. Hypergamy. I'm gonna wait. I'm gonna marry out. I'm gonna find my man. My man. My man.

[Renee Kapuki]

Okay.

[Courtney]

Let me tell you something. There is something about community powered finances.

[Renee Kapuki]

Oh.

[Courtney]

There is something about agreeing with your sister as it pertains to your finances, obviously, in other areas as well. But I was just thinking about that.

[Renee Kapuki]

Ah.

[Courtney]

We both came broke.

[Emanuela]

Yes.

[Courtney]

Broke, broke, Broke. Broken Tea. Broke, broke.

[Renee Kapuki]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Courtney]

Right. And actually having somebody that not only has that experience, but also wants to agree with you to do better.

[Renee Kapuki]

Yes.

[Courtney]

Right. That joint accountability.

[Renee Kapuki]

Yes.

[Courtney]

To put something in our accounts.

[Renee Kapuki]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

You know what I'm saying? Like making money together. Because I think that's something even as women we can shy away from.

[Renee Kapuki]

Right.

[Courtney]

Money. And obviously, we've had some incredible people that have featured on this podcast talking about money.

[Renee Kapuki]

Yes.

[Courtney]

And talking about, obviously money from a romantic lens, but also money and making money with friends. I think what's also been so beautiful about TMS working with Courtney on multiple occasions is the fact that we can testify to how coming together has blessed us in that area too. And it means that we can do more as well.

[Renee Kapuki]

Can we unpack that?

[Emanuela]

Yeah. 100.

[Courtney]

You can back that. 100. The offer basket, as we said. The obvious ways that you can support us in the work that we do is buying our book. We've already over indexed. Actually. There's no such thing as buy the.

[Renee Kapuki]

Book, buy the book, buy the book.

[Courtney]

But really standing with yourself, this stuff. Right. Like when we think of an army, the strength is in the numbers.

[Renee Kapuki]

Come on.

[Courtney]

And there is something about having numbers.

[Emanuela]

Right?

[Courtney]

Having people around you, standing with you, fighting beside you. An army that you are facing looks intimidating when you look beside you and there's nobody there.

[Renee Kapuki]

Wow.

[Courtney]

But if you look behind you, it makes me think of that. You know in Avengers. Right? Like end game.

[Emanuela]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

We're coming up to the. Not even endgame. Infinity War and Endgame. There were so many scenes where, you know, Thanos is coming. You know, the enemy troops, they're coming. They are. They're common. But there was just something so powerful about the Avengers lining up together.

[Renee Kapuki]

Exactly.

[Courtney]

And then also having the army behind them to fight for the universe.

[Renee Kapuki]

Come on.

[Courtney]

We're in a fight, guys. Whether you like it or not, everybody is fighting something. You are fighting institutions. You are fighting systems. You are fighting culture. You are fighting principalities.

[Renee Kapuki]

Speak on it. Speak.

[Courtney]

And there is something about being able to say, I'm gathering with this person.

[Renee Kapuki]

Come on.

[Courtney]

I am holding hands with this person.

[Renee Kapuki]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

I am interceding for that person. With this person.

[Renee Kapuki]

Come on.

[Courtney]

Because I know that there is power in the covenant, not just with me and God, but with me and God.

[Renee Kapuki]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

There is God in our covenant. Do you understand what I'm saying? Like, there's something so powerful about fighting with somebody.

[Renee Kapuki]

Exactly.

[Courtney]

It means that you. I have blind spots, right?

[Renee Kapuki]

Yes.

[Emanuela]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

When I think I am, you know, I'm driving a car. It's always check your blind spot. Right. But we won't always have the capacity to check our blind spot. Especially when we're in the moment, when we're in the midst or in the heat of something. Having somebody to check your blind spot, that means you can never be defeated.

[Emanuela]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Like, I wish. Like people don't understand the true value of having people around you. Having sisters checking your blind spot, actually.

[Renee Kapuki]

Having someone to cover you and having your back.

[Courtney]

Having your back. I don't know about you. Some of you chakras and all them things that you have whatnot. Me, I don't have that. Okay, we don't do that. I don't have that.

[Renee Kapuki]

We don't.

[Courtney]

But there are. Listen, there have been some times where, you know, Courtney has, like, I've seen something for you or like there's some intuition that I have for you or there's, you know, some guidance. Like when we're talking about wise counsel, it's somebody that knows you and somebody see that sees you but also sees stuff for you. So even when you are. Listen, sometimes we're not in our own mind when we're making decisions.

[Renee Kapuki]

Hide it's giving. Mr. Hyde.

[Courtney]

Mr. Hyde. Listen, sometimes we are not in our right mind when it comes to making decisions. Even in our puffed up selves, even with all of our experiences and all that kind of stuff, there'll be times where Courtney will look at me and be like, babe, I love you. But this, I love you. This is a bit off brand. Not only does this not represent you, it doesn't represent us.

[Renee Kapuki]

Wow.

[Courtney]

Okay. Do you get what I'm saying? Like this in our sisterhood, the way that you're behaving or the things that you're trying to decide for yourself. Babe, I don't think you should go there. It's bad, right? It's bad. There's a mind there. It's Minefield. If you step on that, you're gonna blow up.

[Renee Kapuki]

Come on.

[Courtney]

But then also being more conscientious because you know that if you do make a mistake or you do step on that mindful, you risk blow the blow back back will now come on the other people as well.

[Renee Kapuki]

Wow.

[Courtney]

There's so many people on the line.

[Renee Kapuki]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

So even the way that you behave changes. The way that you go out into the world changes. And I know that people notice it between, like, myself and Courtney.

[Renee Kapuki]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

I'm not just representing myself. I'm representing my sister.

[Renee Kapuki]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

I'm saying I go into rooms. And then lastly, while so tangential, but also making sure that you open doors for other people as well. Some of my biggest blessings have come because Courtney has made an introduction here or there or, you know, I've been able to interact with people. I've even been able to make money because Courtney has my name in her mouth.

[Renee Kapuki]

Oh, my.

[Courtney]

What I'm saying. But too many of us were thinking of networking. We're thinking of business. We're thinking of ourselves self selves. Not realizing that by that there are certain doors that you will come across that won't open for you, but they will open for your sister. And in fact, it was you that was supposed to open the door for your sister.

[Emanuela]

And that's why you went ahead, bro.

[Courtney]

And sometimes that door will remain shut in both of your lines because you were selfish and you didn't realize that the path that needed to be walked there was the. Was needed to be led by your.

[Renee Kapuki]

Sister, not by you.

[Courtney]

And too many of us, we are so fixated with being on the front.

[Renee Kapuki]

Come on.

[Courtney]

I'm very happy to be led, especially when I know that it's meant to be my sister that goes before me because I can trust her as well. That's my sis.

[Renee Kapuki]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

So there'll be. Sometimes I go ahead and there'll be. Sometimes I see this story, I say, yeah, it's better for both of us if Courtney goes first. Yeah.

[Emanuela]

Facts.

[Renee Kapuki]

That was so beautiful, sisters.

[Emanuela]

And I. I was gonna say, like, last thing. If you read our book, you'll read, like in one of the opening chapters, we talk about becoming the best version of yourself. And how I love that you brought up the Avengers analogy because we are MCU heads, fans, anything Marvel where they are. And there was something that I was writing about how the Hulk doesn't covet Thor's hammer. Right. Thor has his strength. I have my strength. And there's something about knowing yourself and admiring what God has put in you and not allowing yourself to compare yourself or be jealous to what somebody else has, because it allows you to bring yourself to the front line and do what you need to do. If I spend all of my time trying to wield God's ham, Thor's hammer is going to be a waste of my strength. So let me actually take my strength to the front line and be content with it so that I can use it and direct it in the right direction. And I think a lot of us get into this comparison and competition mode when actually you're called to be on the front line. Yes, they are different to you, but your strengths are also needed on that front line. And so others, because where you can't go, they can go. And I think you need to embrace that within sisterhood. But it doesn't happen if you don't discover your own strength, strengths first. Because if you don't discover your own strengths, you think you're standing on the battlefield and you're just useless.

[Courtney]

Yeah, right.

[Emanuela]

You're just useless. Like, really and truly. What is Tony Stark's power? He doesn't have one. He has money. Yeah, that's cash. I can build this machine. I have cash. $. Do you get what I mean? I have money, so I bring that to the table. I'm not coveting what everybody else has. I know what I bring. And I'm happy to give it. I'm happy to give. So I think as sisters, we also need to be happy with that. Be happy with the uniqueness and the difference.

[Courtney]

Fantastic.

[Emanuela]

So read our book.

[Courtney]

Fantastic Sisters. Well, we hope that you enjoyed this little series, this little miniseries that we were doing, answering the questions, being in the hot seat, answering our fantastic and wonderful little sister, the official TMS little sister, Emanuela. Shout out to her. We love her so much. And it was actually so beautiful to be in the hot seat. Like, I really enjoyed that phrase.

[Emanuela]

That was good. I think it brought out some good stuff from us. So hopefully it was helpful.

[Courtney]

Hopefully it was. Yeah.

[Emanuela]

But if you want to see more episodes like this, let us know. They can be a little bit longer, a bit shorter, whatever. It's kind of giving TMS plus. If you are an OG follower, you know what TMS plus is. But if you're not, then you won't know. But if you would like for us to bring that kind of vibe back and just replicate this a little bit, let us know. We can bring on Emanuela or maybe some other girls in the sisterhood, some.

[Courtney]

Of our little sisters that are here.

[Emanuela]

In the community or even big sisters or just sisters, peers, as they say. We can bring bring you guys onto the pod to do this again. We have been plugging our book Heavy but honestly, obviously we wrote it but it's one of the best books out there. I can back it. It's really, really good and you should definitely read it if you want to know more about friendship, your personal development, journey as and healing. We go a lot into trauma and all of those things and if you've been touched by some of the things that we've been saying, why not come to one of our in person events. We have some coming up in London, we have some coming up and so head to the description so that you can meet us in person and these conversations can go deeper.

[Courtney]

Absolutely love that. And of course follow us on all of our social media at to my Sisterhood literally everywhere to stay plugged into all things TMS community related. And of course come and follow my lovely sister at CD Bong and follow me at Renee Kapuki.

[Emanuela]

Love to see it. Sign up for the mailing list as well on our website to my sisters, but I will stop bombarding you. There you go and have an amazing week and as always, keep glowing and growing.

[Ryan Reynolds]

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