The Great Lock In of 2025: Are Women Being Set Up to Fail?

Summary

Podcast Summary: To My Sisters

Hosts: Courtney Daniella Boateng & Renée Kapuku
Episode: The Great Lock In of 2025: Are Women Being Set Up to Fail?
Date: November 2, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this insightful and motivating episode, Courtney and Renée deep-dive into the cultural phenomenon of the "Winter Arc" and the concept of "The Great Lock In of 2025"—a trend where individuals use the final quarter of the year to focus intensely on personal goals and self-improvement. The hosts discuss the positives, pitfalls, and gender‑specific considerations of "locking in", paying special attention to women's unique needs, pressures, and biology. The conversation balances goal-setting and discipline with self-compassion, community, and practical wisdom for holistic development.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. What is the "Great Lock In"? (02:00–03:07)

• Definition: An intentional period, usually Q4 (October–December), for focused goal achievement—commonly known online as the “Winter Arc.”
• Purpose: To encourage a late-year push, whether for physical, financial, spiritual, or mental growth.
• Courtney: “A lot of people are locking in for this great winter arc... using the last three months of the year to achieve certain things.” (02:20)

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2. Listener Dilemma: Lending Money & Friendship Boundaries (04:01–15:29)

• Situation: A listener lent money to a friend for rent, only to be subsequently ghosted.
• Advice Highlights:
  • Being Direct: “It's not a bad thing to ask for that money back... the babe should have even felt awkward if she knew she wasn't that close to you. She didn't feel awkward when it came to asking you for money.” – Renée (08:12)
  • Escalation: If there's no response, involve mutual friends or, as last resort, consider small claims or legal action.
  • Boundaries: “Never give out money you cannot afford to lose... people are not wicked, but there’s something about money that can bring out the wickedness in people.” – Courtney (12:46)
  • Reputation: “Things like that ruin your reputation. If not on earth, in heaven.” (14:16, Courtney)

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3. The “Winter Arc” Trend: Societal Pressure vs. Opportunity (15:35–21:44)

• Seasonality of Self-Improvement: The "Winter Arc" is not new; each year brings similar narratives of hitting goals before year-end.
• Renée: “The dangers of the winter arc can be embodied in discounting everything that has happened in a year. Sis, you haven't been just sitting on your bum doing nothing.” (18:39)
• Mindset Shift: Use the arc as positive re-engagement, not self-punishment. Growth should be incremental and celebrated—not fueled by shame.

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4. Personalization & Individual Purpose (22:20–24:58)

• Tailor the Experience: “You have to make it personal. It can't just be, I'm doing what everyone else is doing.” – Courtney (22:21)
• Preparation vs. Results: Treat Q4 as a season to lay groundwork for future growth and habits, not just to collect “wins.”
• Avoiding Shame: The goal is not to beat oneself up for unmet resolutions but to sow seeds for sustainable progress.

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5. Balancing Focus ("Locking In") with Community & Isolation (25:33–34:17)

• Social Impact: The urge to “lock in” can lead to unintended isolation; focus does not require withdrawing from support systems.
• Accountability & Support: “Make sure you're locking in with the right people, grab the right hands whilst you're doing this focused sprint, because those are the people that are going to keep you going when the dark nights come.” – Renée (34:17)
• Practical Examples: Involving friends or family in fitness, spiritual, or career goals can build mutual motivation and resilience.

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6. Discipline, Individualism, and Community (34:46–36:10)

• Collectivist Achievement: “People associate discipline with individualism so much, forgetting that our collective effort can actually make a bigger change.” – Courtney (34:46)
• Community Assets: Leverage collective expertise and companionship; don't treat "locking in" as a solitary endeavor.

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7. Women’s Biology and Cycle-Aware Discipline (36:03–46:03)

• Unique Needs: Recognize gendered aspects of discipline—many challenges and routines, like “75 Hard,” were designed around men’s physiology.
• Renée: “You are your own person... that information is a gold mine because that will set you up. The problem with most people trying to do...the 75 hard challenge is...it was created by a man and it prioritizes men's biology.” (36:10)
• Adaptation: Modify routines to suit your body, cycle, abilities, or life circumstances.
• Motherhood & Pregnancy: New mothers especially need to resist “snap back” pressure and honor their own pace.

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8. Holistic Self-Improvement Practices (46:03–50:37)

• Experimentation: Be flexible and adaptive; initial plans may need tweaks as you learn more about yourself.
• Rest & Recovery: “We need to have a rest and recovery mindset. Even when we are doing the discipline thing, it is training us and helping us to cultivate habits that support us to be better.” – Renée (42:34)
• Wellness over Results: Use discipline as a tool for joy and holistic wellness, not punishment or conformity to social media trends.
• Medical Insight: Get bloodwork and understand your unique biological needs, e.g., for those with PCOS or thyroid conditions.

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9. Shaping the Internal Monologue & Breaking the Shame Cycle (50:37–52:43)

• Compassionate Self-Talk: “If all you do in the next three months is reprogram your internal voice, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of success.” (51:39, Courtney)
• Handling Setbacks: Unexpected barriers (e.g., injury) can be reframed as opportunities to discover new forms of self-care and self-love.
• Endurance through Self-Regulation: Changing negative inner dialogue enables greater consistency and long-term change.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Society beats us up enough as women. Listen, society beats us up enough as women... it is very much about like seeing [the winter arc] as an opportunity as opposed to, oh God, I’m changing my whole life because I’ve been slacking.”
  – Renée (19:05)

• “Discipline has such negative connotations because we see it as punishment. But discipline should never really be punishment. We should see it as training.”
  – Renée (42:34)

• “It's not a bad thing to ask for that money back… If she responds negatively, then maybe that friendship is actually not for you.”
  – Renée (08:12)

• “Never give out money you cannot afford to lose… you have to be generous with wisdom, especially when it comes to things that are not charity.”
  – Courtney (12:46)

• “Make sure you're locking in with the right people, grab the right hands whilst you're doing this focused sprint, because those are the people that are going to keep you going when the dark nights come.”
  – Renée (34:17)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 02:00 – What is the "Great Lock In"
• 04:01 – Listener dilemma: Lending money and friendship boundaries
• 15:35 – Navigating the “Winter Arc” trend and mindset
• 22:20 – Personalization and purpose behind year-end efforts
• 25:33 – The risks of isolation during "lock in" periods
• 34:17 – The necessity of community during transformation
• 36:03 – Adapting discipline routines for women's biology/cycles
• 42:34 – Redefining discipline as training, not punishment
• 51:39 – Reprogramming the internal monologue for sustainable self-growth

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Final Thoughts

The episode invites listeners—especially women—to embrace the "Great Lock In" as an opportunity for self-betterment, but with essential caveats: cultivate self-awareness, reject toxic and shame-driven productivity mindsets, tailor strategies to your own needs and cycles, and lean on community. Above all, the journey to growth in this season should be holistic, sustainable, and anchored in compassion.

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For more support and sisterhood, follow To My Sisters across all platforms and join the conversation about your winter arc goals!

Transcript

[A]

Hi, I'm Adam Grant, host of the podcast Work Life.

[B]

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Learn more about how Paylocity can help streamline work and bring teams [e-mail] 1.

[B]

The great lock in of 2025.

[A]

Society beats us up enough as women.

[B]

When December 31st comes, what do I want to have actually achieved?

[A]

Like, it would literally be the greatest waste of your potential to think that you can do this thing alone.

[B]

Even if it's not reaching goals, it's setting in habits. Bits that will allow me to start off 2026 really strong.

[A]

Make sure you're locking in with the right people, grab the right hands whilst you're doing this focused sprint, because those are the people that are going to keep you going when the dark nights come.

[B]

Like, oh, the last nine months, people have done this, have done that and been this and done that, been here and seen this. Okay, but what have I done?

[A]

Discipline has such negative connotations because we see it as punishment. But discipline should never really be punishment. We should see it as training.

[B]

You're on a journey like the the Great lock in of 20. Not going to be the end of your life if all you do in the next three months is reprogram your internal voice.

[A]

Hello and welcome to the To My Sisters Podcast. I'm Renee.

[B]

And I'm Courtney. And we are your online sisters and hosts of the To My Sisters podcast.

[A]

Now we are all about promoting the wellness, growth and development of a community of sisters across the world.

[B]

And in today's episode, we are talking about the growth great lock in of 2025. Locking in for your winter art.

[A]

Let's go.

[B]

Yep. Oh, we are actually in Q4. Oh, Q4, 2025. I remember Q4, 2024 so vividly. So how are we here? But as this year has zoomed past, zoomed, we are now in a phase of everyone saying, you know, it's time to lock in. It's not too late to give up on your goals. You can actually see, still achieve something. And so a lot of people are locking in. They're locking in for this great winter arc, which is essentially you using the next or the last three days, the last three months of the year, sorry, to achieve certain things, whether be around your Physical health, financial, spiritual, mental, whatever it may be. And so we're going to discuss how to lock in for the great winter arc of 2025, but also how to do it in a way that is in tune with us as women and also allows for us to not feel an overwhelming amount of pressure.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

About making, you know, all of these goals achieved in just 90 days. So we're gonna delve into, hopefully a balanced but also encouraging and motivating conversation about this great looking.

[A]

We can't wait. We gotta lock in girls.

[B]

Any great. Any housekeeping.

[A]

And any housekeeping. Ooh, I don't think so. You know, I think we swept the house well last week.

[B]

Quite clean.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, quite clean. Spotless.

[B]

We are approaching our fifth year anniversary. Yes, we are. Prepare yourselves.

[A]

Send us five pounds on Monza. Send us five pounds.

[B]

Don't end things.

[A]

Don't be stressed.

[B]

Don't be too stressed. All right. Yeah, yeah, Prepare.

[A]

Give us £5 on Monzo.

[B]

Oh, that'd be lovely. That would be lovely. Five for five. Just celebrate with us. Share the podcast. Share the podcast with five people. 5. Share the podcast with five people you think would like it. That would be so great. Share it with the girl.

[A]

And also, if you would like to give us five pounds, we'll take that too. But ideally, you know, first to keep the energy costs are rising. It's winter, so it's costing more to be warm.

[B]

So support us. You'd like to give us a cheeky little gift. But since there's no housekeeping, let's get straight into the ding, ding, ding, ding dilemma. And this one is a good one. Hi, ladies. Getting straight into it. Okay.

[A]

Yeah. Boom. Let's go.

[B]

My friend called me a few weeks ago asking if I can borrow her some money to pay her rent, as someone had stolen her bank card.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

She said she would pay me back and I didn't think too much into it because we are Christians and this is what we're taught to do. I kept up with her because I know these situations can be quite scary and she needed moral support. She let me know a few days after that she was going to collect her new bank card and the bank had sorted out her account and recovered everything.

[A]

Okay, sweet.

[B]

I sent her a sorted. I sent her a message in response saying, thank God and really happy for you. Thinking naturally, the conversation would follow on to when she would give me back my money, Right? Wrong. She hasn't replied and I haven't heard from her in almost three weeks. I'm trying not to Bug her too much or make her think I'm putting her under pressure. But I feel like I've been treated like a mug, like someone you can easily play around with. I'm not her closest friend and she wasn't really talking to me much before this. I don't really know how to handle the situation.

[A]

I.

[B]

What if she wasn't being truthful? How can she be my friend after this? What do I do?

[A]

Baby, first of all, I'm super sorry. It is not nice to be out. It is not nice to be out of money. And one thing about me is money. I for make. So you are not doing too much by putting her under pressure. You lent her money under the guise of it being paid back. And rent money can be a substantial amount of money. Obviously. I don't know, like, what location, all that kind of stuff. But if I was to even base it off of, like, UK rent prices, baby, God bless you for being kind enough to, you know, lend somebody money, especially in such a circumstance that was described to you. And it's a horrible thing to feel like you are without money and your rent is coming. Like, that's a horrible situation to be in. So definitely empathize for your friend. And I love the fact that obviously you were also able to empathize with your friend enough to do. Yeah. To support her financially, because I know a lot of people actually cannot do that. So good on you for actually doing the Christian thing, but good on you for actually loving your neighbor and loving somebody enough to share those resources. I think in terms of, like, not wanting to rock the boat or put people into pressure and all that kind of stuff. I think sometimes you do need to be very, very explicit, especially where money is concerned. Like, I don't think it's uncomfortable or awkward, especially within the context of friendship. Money should never be an awkward conversation. Whether it is you have borrowed somebody money or lent somebody money, it should never be an awkward thing to ask for your money back. Especially if you lent it to. It wasn't a gift, it was a, I will lend this to you. And she also agreed to pay you back once everything was sorted. From what it sounds like, I can imagine that on, you know, initially, you get your money back, hurrah. You may not be thinking immediately, oh, gosh, I need to pay this person back. You may just be relieved that, hey, I've got my bank, I've got everything restored. That's cool. So happy to give her the benefit of the doubt there in that. You know, maybe naturally she wasn't also thinking, oh, I need to pay her back straight away. However, now that three weeks have passed, baby, you need to be on her or her ass. Like, that's a lot of money. And I can only imagine how much that may have set you back. Obviously, I don't know anything about you, of your financial profile, your goals or anything like that, but it's an uncomfortable thing to be out of money, especially when you've lent it to someone under the guise of them paying you back. And I think three weeks is more than enough time, especially since her bank has been restored.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it may not be a texting. Maybe you need to call. Maybe you need to set up a hey, can we meet? And I think you also need to be comfortable being explicit about the fact that you would like your money back. It doesn't need to be awkward. It can be a hey, sis, really glad to hear that everything has been restored and recovered. Would really appreciate either you pay me back or giving me an estimated timeline. I think what was missing from this conversation from the jump was, you know, once things have settled down, when do you think you'd be able to pay me back? And if she's been restored fully and her money has been restored fully to.

[B]

Just ghost you is crazy.

[A]

Ghosting you is crazy. I ain't gonna lie to you. Like, rig, rig, pod, hello, fetz. But I think putting. Putting pressure is absolutely well within your remits to do. I would forget the messaging. It's a babe. It's calling. It is a hey, can we meet? Like, what is the situation? And I think you shouldn't use this whole notion of your friendship, not necessarily being that close to feel awkward about asking for your money back. It's your money. In fact, the babe should have even felt awkward if she knew that she wasn't that close to you. Ciao. She didn't feel awkward when it came to asking you for money. So let's put that awkwardness aside. You need your money. You did a really great thing, and it's not a bad thing to ask for that money back. Worst, worst case scenario, this babe continues to ghost you or whatever. Unfortunately, sis, you may have actually been swindled, but before you accept that you are swindled, you're gonna do absolutely, absolutely everything that you can to get that money back. Because what, rent money? This ain't no £100. This ain't no 20 rent money, baby. I'm not saying to do it too old school, but maybe you need to you need to get your money back. So, yeah, do everything in your power to, like, be like, babe, don't let up. Don't be doing the whole. Sometimes you even have to drop the niceties. It's high. Can I get my money back? It doesn't have to always be a high. How's life? All that kind of stuff. You do need to get your money back. And I think that if it. You know, if she get. She responds to you. Obviously, these are all this is. If she responds to you and she responds negatively, then maybe that friendship is actually not for you. For somebody that can disrespect you to the point of they're now getting negative now that you're asking for your money back. I'm sorry, is that necessarily somebody that you would want to call a friend in the first place? So, yeah, for me, the priority is, Babe, get your money back.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do what you can. Try to be as cordial as possible, but ultimately, in the same way that the Bayless will be knocking at your door, if you owe them money, sure. You need to be knocking at people's doors. And if she continues to ghost you, then unfortunately, definitely, it may be one that you have to chalk up and firm and absolutely face your front. Like, put up the borders, boundaries, this. She's never getting a scent from you, not hearing a peep from you, nothing. But try your absolute hardest to drop the niceties. Your money. Yeah. Bring it back.

[B]

100%.

[A]

But what would you say?

[B]

I completely agree with you. I think you've put it perfectly. Personally, if you know this babe's address, I would pull up.

[A]

Don't. Stop it, Courtney.

[B]

Just because you've agreed to pay me back and now.

[A]

Crazy.

[B]

Now that you have your money back, you are not acknowledging me. I think that is wildly disrespectful. I think it's one thing to say I don't currently have the money to be able to pay you back, but like you said, like, can we come up with some kind of payment plan? Or I can pay you back by December 31, whatever it might be. I think that shows at least. At least a little bit of respect and courtesy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Towards somebody who helped you out at a difficult time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Even when they didn't have to.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

I just think it's wild. And one thing I just hate is disrespect. Disrespect will make me pull up on you. Like, not to fight or anything. Anything. But now what? You got disrespect to my face. Yeah.

[A]

Real.

[B]

Because it's easy to add messages everywhere.

[A]

I'm here. Yeah.

[B]

Another thing that I would say is if you have another. If this persists. I know you said it's been three weeks, but if this persists and she keeps ignoring you and like, despite all your efforts of like what? Renee recommended messaging and just being like, hey, I just need an estimate because I need the money back. If you can't get through to her. If you have a friend in common. Yes, I am pulling in a friend.

[A]

Yeah, I am going to pull in.

[B]

A mutual friend who is hopefully maybe closer to her or can at least speak to her and just be like, hey, your friend owes me X amount of money.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I need her to get in touch with me asap. Or at least for you to talk some sense into her that she needs to give me my money. I would also take it a step further. Depends on how you are. It depends on how you are. Not everybody likes to go down this.

[A]

Kind of route, but I like the police if you.

[B]

I like the idea of threatening people with the police if you have evidence. Because especially if you live. You didn't say where you live, but like, if you live in the uk. Yeah, the police are on stuff like this.

[A]

Yeah, they do.

[B]

If you have evidence of the fact that somebody borrowed money from you and they agreed to pay you back upon certain conditions, such as, once I get my card back and my money is restored and they have not done that, baby, small claims need to be seen.

[A]

No, don't kill me.

[B]

Yeah. So hopefully you let us know how your case goes.

[A]

No, it doesn't even need to get that far.

[B]

But get your money back. But I will say as just a point of advice, more generally, never give out money you cannot afford to lose.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

Never borrow anybody money you cannot afford to lose. Because let me tell you something, even if people are not wicked, there's something about money that can bring out the wickedness in people.

[A]

Honestly and truly, there is.

[B]

Even myself, I have found myself in techie situations where it's like, I ain't got the money to pay for this thing right now, so I'm just gonna lay low a little bit. And it's a bad thing to do. And it takes extreme maturity and humility to come someone and be like, I haven't got the money that I owe you right now. Right. And so just out of that understanding of human behavior alone, never give out anything that you are not willing to lose. Yeah, it's that simple. Like you could have told her or maybe next time if. Because I don't want to take away from what you were saying. It's actually a really good thing that you've done. And I never want to harden anybody's heart towards generosity, but I do think we have to be generous with wisdom, especially when it comes to things that are not charity. This is not charity.

[A]

This is a loan.

[B]

Somebody a favor. This is a loan. And so I think next time, if this situation was to ever creep up again, you can offer to give a comfortable amount for you. And if the comfortable amount is not enough for the person, just say you can contribute to some of it. But unfortunately, you do not have the means to give all of it. That's it.

[A]

Case closed.

[B]

Case closed. Case closed. Wow, what a wow, what a wow. But that person is not your friend. Oh, let me tell you something. You said you weren't close. This close before. That even shocked me.

[A]

Also, sis, if you are listening to this podcast episode and you owe her money and you've been airing her, pay her back immediately.

[B]

Don't do things like that. Let me tell you, things like that ruin your reputation. They ruin your reputation. If not on earth, in heaven.

[A]

You get to the gate and Paul's looking at you like that.

[B]

God doesn't like that. Pay your debtors.

[A]

He doesn't like that.

[B]

Yeah, God doesn't like that. And genuinely, if you cannot, though, there is conversations to be had. Like, no one is saying that you should die because you're in debt. Like, no, you just, you find a way. You know, you find a way and then you just explain and you say, okay, can you, you know, give me some time? Can you help me to whatever, even payment, direct debit, you know, whatever it might be. But girl, you were close to being a scammer.

[A]

But also, if everything has been restored.

[B]

Why don't you have the money? But hey, people love to take advantage. So go be unrelenting. And sister that is in debt, be serious about your life, please. But yes, so it says, if you have any advice, you already know the deal. Drop it in the comments down below on YouTube or on Spotify. Let us know what you think. Because for somebody to owe you rent money, absolutely not.

[A]

And you see the way landlords be on your neck when you don't pay rent. That's the energy you have to embody.

[B]

Crazy. So, yeah, but sis, pull up if you can. Anyways, let's talk about looking in for the great winter.

[A]

Yes, let's go, let's go.

[B]

How do you feel about this whole winter uptrend? More generally?

[A]

Chad, We've seen the winter arc. I was literally just saying before this episode to Courtney. We have seen the winter arc of 2024. We've seen the winter arc of 2023. We've seen that insert the year and winter arc before the year. However, I am feeling good about the winter arc. I think that this notion of getting back on track, I think when it's done sensibly, it's. It's great because I think that sometimes we can get to this point in the year and think all is lost and I'm gonna have to wait until the next year to, like, embark on or whatnot. So I think the different arcs that we have both in the years, but also within a year itself, I think is a really great opportunity for a lot of us who may not have done what we were hoping to do or, like, we may have lost momentum or whatnot. It's a great opportunity to kind of reset or reboost before the, you know, the start of the next year, as long as we don't fall into the capitalistic and consumerist trap that can accompany a lot of these challenges. Right? So I think one of the things that I've seen about, like, any kind of arc, right, is productivity. It's all about, like, getting fear. It's all about. I've been seeing a lot of 75 cards coming back because literally, Christmas is around the corner, and this is the perfect time for everybody to start getting in there, getting. Getting on their zoom. So I think as long as we have individually a firm grip on how we are using the arc to help ourselves, whether it be to revisit goals that we may have had at the beginning of the year or to actually, like, get back on track for any reason, then I think it can be a POS thing. As long as we do not find ourselves falling into that consumerist, capitalist trap, that kind of company, a thing like this. And I think it's also important for us to recognize how far we've come as well. I think the dangers of the winter arc can be embodied in discounting everything that has happened in a year, mind you. Like, we're in Q4 of 2025, so that means all of this time has passed. Sis, you haven't been just sitting on your bum doing nothing. As much as you may think that you have been, like, the time has passed, actually achieved some things. Even the fact that, you know, you are here today and you've been able to get to this point in the year is a testament to progress in of Itself and the fact that a lot of people often start a winter arc negatively. Right. It's the I haven't been putting in the work or I haven't been doing enough. I think if we can get into the mindset of using it as an opportunity rather than seeing it as an exercise of, like, self flagellation, I haven't been doing enough, then it can be really helpful. But I think it is very much starting with a positive growth mindset, as opposed a negative or a deficit mindset that is really the key to progressing in the winter arc and also seeing it as an opportunity to set yourself up for not just, like, the next year, but actually what are some of the definitive habits that I want to develop in this time? Because there's a lot of people that are serious arkers. I'm a. I'm a serial. I'm a serious and a serial.

[B]

Ara.

[A]

2024. Saw me. 2022, saw me. 2021 arc. I love an arc. Call me. I'm literally a circle at this point. The amount of arcs that I've been going through, the amount of arcs. But seeing it as an opportunity for reinvention, seeing it as an opportunity to continue to build off of the positive progress that we have made this year is so, so important for us women. Because it's so easy to just discount this whole year.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Discount all of the transformations, the changes, and even for, for example, the women that feel like, oh, I haven't been on my zoom at all. Things have happened. Like, things have happened to you. Like, some of us have gone through terrible traumas. Some of us have gone through grief. Some of us have. We've had a hard time. Yeah. And I don't think that we should be beating ourselves. Listen, society beats us up enough as women. Yeah. Right. So I think it is very much about, like, seeing it as an opportunity as opposed to, ah, God, I'm changing my whole life because I've been slacking for. For the most part. And funnily enough, I was looking at that. So I've been looking at all of the, like, 75 hard content. And I was looking. There was one particular content creator that was, like, especially as women, if we are constantly embracing, like, we were literally made for softness. And I know there's a lot of discourse around, like, you know, soft life and all that kind of stuff, but if we are constantly embracing difficulty and challenge and strife and all of these kind of things, we never get to live a life where we're actually operating at our optimum. We are constantly chasing this weird perfection, this. This weird us at our most perfect state. But we never actually live a life at maintenance. We never live a life of softness. We never live a life of our optimum, because we are. We. We've actually internalized the idea that in order to feel like we deserve these things, we have to constantly go through strife, we have to constantly go through difficulty, we constantly go through challenges. So I think if you are a serial winter arca, or like a serial arca in general, you're just going through challenges back to back, back to back. I think the winter arc might not actually be for you. You know, I think actually chill, like, take a. Take a. Take a chill pill. But if you are somebody that's like, oh, you know, I can acknowledge that I've made some progress this year or not. I can acknowledge that I may benefit from having a season of, like, really locking in, really focusing in on a particular area. We often gravitate towards the physical, but it can be the spiritual, it can be the mental, it can be the emotional even, or a combination of all of them. If you can acknowledge that there is an area in your life that may require a little bit more attention and it doesn't become the entirety of your identity or your being, then the winter arc is for you. But if you find yourself being a person that's almost addicted to challenges, strife, all of this kind of things, then maybe your winter arc isn't about discipline. Actually, your winter arc may be more about dwelling and just staying in that place for a while before moving on.

[B]

I like that.

[A]

Yeah. But what about you? Your thoughts on the winter arc?

[B]

I like the. I like the trend. I think, like you said, you people can approach it from various standpoints, depending on the type of year you've had. Right. For some people, they've been smashing their goals, and this is an opportunity to get a bit extra in or to prioritize other things as well. I like that you highlighted that the winter arc isn't just about physical transformation. It can also be just something about the mental. It can be something about, you know, rest. It can be whatever you actually want it to be. And I think for me, that is a core tenet of it. You have to make it what it is for you.

[A]

Yeah, Right.

[B]

You have to make it personal. It can't just be. I'm doing what everyone else is doing. Even though that can serve as a source as. As of inspiration.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think it's important with anything that you're participating in or intending to do. For yourself, to really set out. What is the purpose of this? For me, when December 31st comes, what do I want to have actually achieved with my life? And for some people, it's my central nervous system.

[A]

It needs a reason.

[B]

For other people, it's, I haven't done enough. You know, I'm not near the goals that I set out for myself. Maybe in January 1st or this is not how I saw 2025 going. And I've been watching a lot of content. You know, I'm an avid tick tock.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And I've been seeing, I've been loving seeing a lot of people say, you know, for some people it's just that, that feeling of I did something for myself this year because I think it's easy for 2025 to have gotten away from you. There have been a lot of challenges thrown at us. Mental health might have taken a hit, your life might have just changed. Even for us personally, it's been a lot of transitions and just like unexpected challenges that come with transition and stuff like that. And all of that takes a toll on you and can sometimes deviate you from your initial plan for what you envisioned this year to be. And so for some people, it's just like, ah, I want this to. I was in control. You know, I want to start at least, even if it's not reaching goals, it's setting in habits that will allow me to start off 2026 really strong. I think there's something so Beautiful about seeing Q4 as a preparation season as opposed to a result season because it's very hard to guarantee that you'll see results over on something in 90 days. A lot of things in your life will need more than 90 days to be transformed.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And as much as 75 hard. And the 75 day challenges are great because they do produce results. Yeah, there may be some days in that way you just cannot do what it is you set out to do. And I think what we need to be careful of with trends like this is that it doesn't create further disappointment in yourself. I think it's easy to look and it's easy to be motivated by shame.

[A]

Yeah, very easy.

[B]

When it comes to situations like this, like, oh, the last nine months, people have done this, have done that and been this and done that, been here and seen this by done. Okay, but what have I done? And it's like, okay, don't let shame push you though, because shame ain't never produced no fruits that are healthy. And so I think it's Allowing yourself to say, okay, what do I actually want out of this? And maybe this can be an opportunity for me to start sowing seeds towards next year, to start seeing, like, maybe this is when you're starting to prepare for summer.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Summer 2026, you know, and I think that's because the end of the year can be this really arbitrary. Every date that we mark down, it's like, things must be done. And I love stuff like that, trust me. But sometimes it can make you a bit nervous. And so I think just cool off a little bit. It doesn't have to be Q4. It can be Q4 into Q1. It can be whatever, as long as you're seeing a positive change in your life in the direction that you actually want it to be in. And so I think I wanted to pivot this conversation to talking about the locking in part, because what's so beautiful is a lot of people are talking about how much their winter arc needs focus.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Discipline and commitment to themselves and their goals, which I think is such a beautiful thing. But especially because it is the winter arc, it's very easy to lock yourself in because it's cold, you're tired. Right. Like, you're more than just locking in. You're locking yourself in your. You know, I'm subtracting how much social interactions I have, maybe, or whatever. So what do you say to the person who's trying to lock in, but balance their lock in with community? Because it's easy to say, like, I'm focusing on myself. But then you become so isolated because of that. You know, I'm waking. Waking up early to go to the gym. And that means that, you know, I ain't spending that much time with people. I ain't around when people. I'm up before everybody's up.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And that therefore I'm going to sleep before everybody. You know, we'll talk about the pride part in a second, but, like, it's easy to take a lot of pride in this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not to say it's bad, but I think sometimes it can cause for there to be pride in this isolation, but that. That harms the progress of your community and your social relationships.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So how can you balance locking in with having loving community?

[A]

That's a great question. I love that. I think for me, the first thing that comes to mind is locking in with your community. Like, just because you are doing, you know, whatever challenge you're doing or whatever, you know, like, period of intense focus you are doing, that doesn't mean that you now have to become, you know, a scrooge all of a sudden. Like, no, I don't know what it is yet, but I feel like when a lot of people talk about like community and friends and stuff like that, it's always that, oh, these people are getting me off my goals, man. Like, they just invited me out. They don't know that I'm here eating my chick, like my broccoli. Like I'm trying to lock in. Or like, oh, they invited me to go to the club. They don't know that I'm trying to do my mental stuff. Do you know what I'm saying? How would they know?

[B]

Yeah, how would we know how?

[A]

You've told the Internet before. You've told your community. You have come to tell us every single day. Here I'm locking in for 75 hard. But your sister doesn't know.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Your friend doesn't know. The, the people that you're. That can actually keep you accountable in real life don't know. And so I think we need to get out of this mindset of we can't do this without, like with alchem community. We actually need our community to get the results that we want. That's one of the best ways that you can do it. This whole. Let's take like physical health, for example. You think that you can do the 75 hard thing of eating your chicken and broccoli or whatever diet is that you decide to do.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Without at least one friend knocking on your door and be like, babe, do.

[B]

You want to go out?

[A]

Or like, you want to get something? Maybe if you told her then she'll be like, oh, we can do something different or, you know, do you really think that you can be doing this whole. Yeah, I'm doing the great lock in and all that kind of stuff. Stuff and not just like, not enjoying. Yeah. Whilst there are people that actually care about you and care enough to actually try and live a life around your goals as well.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

Like, when it comes to community and doing relationship with people, it means that you have people to do life with, not just around with. So whether it is your, you know, physical goals, even your spiritual goals, like actually telling people, you know, your sisters around you, like, hey, I'm doing a prayer challenge. Yeah, I'm looking in for the season. Do you want to join?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you know what I mean? Like, or, oh, hey, I'm doing this. I'm starting to do this like journal thing. Like, either keep me accountable or do you want to be part of my like, affirmation team. Because you are going to lose motivation. And if you build your focus and your discipline on motivation, you will never get results. But if you build it on actual community where you have other people that will fill in for you and fill in the gap when you do not have the capacity to, boy, you win.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you will win big. When I think of like, for example, F1 teams and stuff like that, people look at the driver and think, wow, it's because the driver locked in that the car was able to go fast and they won. Absolutely not.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Behind that F1 driver is like six, seven, eight, a team, a hench team of like maybe even double figures of the engineer that's focusing on, you know, certain things or the person that's responsible for like the speed of the car or the design, the shape and all of these kind of things. All of these things add an extra second that can be lost off of the time of the F1 driver. Seeing our lock in season like that. We are a car that requires mechanics. We are a car that requires different people with different expertises. And I think that's also one of the greatest things about locking in with people. People have different expertises. There are people that you're trying to lock in on certain things. And you have people around you that are actually better than you at it. Right. So. So the whole spiritual thing. Yeah. Like, oh, I want to get closer to law. You have pastors around you, you have a spiritual community. You have a church that you can tap into to make that thing easier. Oh, I'm trying to pray at this kind of. There's even prayer groups you can join. But you, you're waking up independently, just willy nilly thinking that it's just me and which is important. And it's important to have your own personal devotion. But even the Bible encourages us to not forsake the gathering of believers. You're here talking about, oh, yeah, I want to go on my walks, I want to get my 10k steps, I want to do all of this kind of stuff. There are people that are clocking in 20k steps within your own community that you can actually go for a walk with. Yeah, you're talking about, oh, yeah, I want to build my business. Like, I want to be that. You have entrepreneurs in your community. You have people that are. God has actually sent you people within your community that can help you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so I think the important thing about any lock in any period of intense focus, any time that we're like, oh, I really want to achieve my goals is seeing the people around you as assets, seeing them as accountability, and also seeing them as people that can provide affirmation when things get tight. It's getting cold, it's getting dark.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's not enough to wake up and say, I'm gonna do it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's been so many times where me personally, I'm not getting out of bed. There's not. There's not. There's not a damn thing that you can do to get me out of bed. It's not happening. It's not happening. Yeah, but I would. I open my phone in the morning and my brother has sent me. Oh, Renee, I've just run 10K. What about you?

[B]

Your brother is a beast. That man is a machine.

[A]

Brian, if you're listening, let me tell you that. That man, I have never seen somebody that can do 90 minutes on a Stairmaster multiple times a week in the morning. That's the kind of accountability that I have. So this whole small, small. Oh, I'm just out. I need to get 10k. Woe is me. Whoa, is me. If I don't wake up, like, literally even this winter time, I'm like, oh, can you hold me accountable? Every single day without fail, at 6, 7am in the morning? Hey, Renee, where you at? Yeah, here and there. Just in the gym.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Every day I'm taking my steps now. Every day I'll finish 90 minutes on the Stairmaster. My. I haven't even decrusted my eyes. Yeah. And this guy is out there. He is literally a shining example of what it means to be consistent.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But it's not even just about, like, holding me accountable, but he's also doing it with me. He'll be like, oh, do you want to do a shared session? Do you want to do this? Do you want to do that? So actually feeling, especially in a period of time where a lot of people feel lonely, isolated. Sad.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

S A D sad. Actually, the seasonal effective. You know, it's even more important to fortify yourself so that you can achieve your goals. Like, listen. Having abundance and seeing and having community is such a blessing in today's society. We're literally living in an age where we are more isolated. We're so connected, and yet we are so lonely. Good. Desperately lonely.

[B]

So true.

[A]

There are people around you that love you. Like, it would literally be the greatest waste of your potential to think that you can do this thing alone the greatest way. Oh, I, like, I have so many people in my corner right Now I cannot afford to fail. That's the position you need to be in for the great lock in. I have too many people around me that are good at the things that I want to be good at. To fail. Yeah. At the point that it's even embarrassing me, like I have to. It's even embarrassing me small. So, yeah, I think it really is about doing life and doing. Locking in with people. It's like, you know what, you know those, like apocalyptic films and all that kind of stuff where you get to the end of the people are not like with the things that people are looking for. They're looking for their loved ones. They're looking for their loved ones. They're afraid because I am not going to do. Listen, this one that you're living like how many miles away? I'm calling you Apocalypse babe. We're locking in in the same basement. Do you know what I'm saying? That is what winter can feel like for a lot of people, where we are locked in, as you were mentioning, into our homes and all that kind of stuff. And so whilst you are metaphorically locking in, make sure you're locking in with the right people, grab the right hands whilst you're doing this focused sprint, because those are the people that are going to keep you going when the dark nights come.

[B]

I love that. That's so good.

[A]

Yeah, that's my fault.

[B]

I agree. I think locking in with a community will elevate this whole experience for you. Like, it will provide the accountability. But like, like you were saying so rightfully, the expertise and the support that comes with social relationships. Like what? Like how your brother is there. It's not just a source of. Ah. This is somebody who is making sure that I do these things.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Also having someone who I can do them with. Yeah. Which makes it more bearable when I do it. Right. Right. I think people associate discipline with individualism so much for getting that our collective effort can actually make a bigger change sometimes in our life, our individual life. So I love that and I think pivoting it to women now a lot of us are engaging in the great lock in, whether it be for physical reasons, mental, spiritual, emotional, whatever. Like my personal winter arc right now is resetting myself for 2026. Like actually setting things in order in this new life, in this new pace, new environment, so that 2026 can actually be a success.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so it's cultivating habits and all of that. But I think for women it's easy to look at these discipline challenges and then be so centered around men's biology.

[A]

Yeah, right. Yeah.

[B]

And men's physical capability and then their hormonal capability as well. And so I, I wanted us to touch on what does locking in look like when we are doing it in sync with our cycles. Right. What does it look like to consider your hormone, no matter your hormones, no matter what your makeup kind of is. What does it look like for us generally as women to consider our hormones when we are discussing discipline?

[A]

Yeah, that's a really great question, actually. I think we always have to caveat this discussion with. You are your own person.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You are an individual. The way that you are made, the way that you function. It's important for you to spend some time. Even if your winter arc actually looks like you, understanding, what do I look like? How does my body react to certain things? That information is a gold mine because that will set you up for that. That sets up the baseline for anything you want to do in this life. The problem with most people trying to do, like, for example, the 75 hard challenge is, as you so rightfully mentioned, it was created by a man and it prioritizes men's biology. Right. The whole two 45 minute workouts, one has to be outside, one has to be into drinking a gallon of water. Ah, must I be we in this? Like, I might be a. If I'm like a five foot nothing woman and you know my hormonal profile, I'm 5 foot thick in the fire. Like, I'm not gonna be drinking 4.5 liters of water. The water itself might even be taller than me. I'm drinking this water. It's too much. Or it may not actually align with my physiology. Like some of the workouts that we see of, like, for example, 75 hard is too much. I'm not, please, I'm, I'm small. Like, I, I don't enjoy this as well. Or with literally anything else that we see on the Internet around, like challenges, like, oh, I'm gonna be journaling more. Maybe you actually don't like writing. It's actually okay. You know, like, it's cool. You can do voice notes, you can do something else, it's okay. Or if it's like, you know, you're building and it's like, oh, I don't really, I have to do content. But like, I don't really like podcasting. You don't have to do podcasting. You can do other things. Or like, oh, I don't like TikTok. Or I don't like this. I don't like LinkedIn. There are other ways, but I think first and foremost you need to understand what is my baseline good? What do like, what do I like? What does my body like as well? What has my body responded well to? And if you have done these challenges and you have not seen results, could it be rather than it being a lack of discipline, it's more so a lack of functionality for your specific body type, your physiology, who you are as an individual. Right. One thing that I've learned about, like, myself even growing older and all that kind of stuff, I can't be doing some of these high intense exercises. Y' all be jumping a lot. Yeah, I don't like jumping. Yeah, I don't like it. I can just about do it. But now I've been hearing a lot of, like, creeks and all that kind of stuff. Right. I'm not going to do it just because somebody on the Internet said that that's part of the challenge. I'm not going to do it. It hurts. It's not. It's not feasible or, you know, like, even with journaling, I'm a writer, but I also do not like writing consistently. So I'm not going to journal every single day. I might do it like once every week or something like that works for me. It really is about how do I make my lock in fit for purpose for me and my life. You may be, for example, a mother. Mother. You don't have as much time as some of the content girlies we see on Tick Tock to do all of this. Your body has actually changed. It's okay. And I'm sure we'll touch on this in another time. But the pressure that is put on mothers to bounce back after having a child.

[B]

If you.

[A]

Listen, if I have a child and you guys see me after, don't expect anything from me. I've got anything to give you. I've got anything to give you. Please. The fact I'm even alive is.

[B]

It'S an actual miracle. And I think what's funny, though, is also balanced with this internal desire for things to change quickly as well. I think a good person to have that conversation with would be Kika. Kika.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

She's currently doing this challenge. If you are a mum or somebody who's looking to lock in and you're a woman, she's great. She's doing a challenge at the moment called Hot Mums Unite. So follow. It's a channel on Instagram. So go and follow her and then, like, tap into the challenge. But I think what's so interesting about that conversation is that internal pressure, but also resisting the external pressure, women's bodies to snap back. So, yes, it's very complex. I think she'd be a great person.

[A]

I think she'd be a kicker. If you're hearing this, please, dear, we would like to summon you to the podcast. So we'll be in the DMs and we have our people will talk to your people, AKA we'll talk to you. Yes, no people here. But yeah, exactly as you mentioned. Right. It is that balancing the expectations, like a lot of us want things quickly.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

That's the problem. And I think also making sure that when you do enter into your winter arc, you aren't, as you mentioned, disappointed by the lack of speediness in your results. You may see some results, but they may not come at the speed at which you want them to. But that is not a. An indicator of how much effort you've put in. And it's also not necessarily an indicator that you need to go harder. I think sometimes our response to discipline, not serving us, is even more discipline. And sometimes actually you need to go the opposite way and give yourself a bit of loving and self care. Care. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's, oh, I'm not getting the results. I need to go harder. I need to go harder. Your body's like, baby.

[B]

Yeah. Sometimes all your body actually needs asleep. That's actually what will reset everything for you and you'll start seeing results.

[A]

And can I just say, ladies, I know it's hard. I know, I know everybody has got, like, different responsibilities and stuff like that, but sleep.

[B]

Oh, wonders for the hormones. Sleep wonders for the hormones.

[A]

You need to. If you need to pop your magnesium, your melatonin ch. I had magnesium glycinate, like, two days ago, Courtney. Ah. The way I went to bed.

[B]

Magnesium is fantastic. Man. Another thing that I've been finding really helpful is spermint tea.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But then there's also there's this sleep tea that Aldi does.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That's really good. It was my. My friend Jennifer. Jennifer gave it to me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was telling her during this whole, like, wedding preparation stuff, I'm struggling to sleep.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Cannot switch off. She was like, here, have this tea. You like tea. Drink it. And literally every night before, like, even the night before my wedding, I was drinking it and I would be flat out.

[A]

I need the brand.

[B]

I would be flat out. It's.

[A]

I need it.

[B]

Oh, it's actual Aldi.

[A]

Like.

[B]

You know how Aldi has their brands. It's an Aldi brand. It's in a blue box and it literally has the words sleep.

[A]

Like, I can't miss it yet. But it's things like that, right? Things that. That actually work for you. And also, don't be afraid to, like, experiment. I think sometimes we also start our challenges with, this is what I'm going.

[B]

To do for the whole duration of.

[A]

Baby, you need to change that up.

[B]

Yeah, you gotta be flexible.

[A]

Some things will not work. But I can't understate how important it is that we need to have a rest and recovery mindset. Even when we are doing the discipline thing, because we see discipline. Like, even when we think about what the word discipline means. It means to be trained. It means to be somebody that has been discipled. Discipline has such negative connotations because we see it as punishment. But discipline should never really be punishment. We should see it as training. It is training us and helping us to cultivate habits that support us to be better. And so even reframing how we approach discipline is very, very important for us as women and not seeing it as an, again, an opportunity to beat down on ourselves. But really, how can I fit my life and do things that support me to become the best version of myself? Myself and best version of me, not best version of myself as dictated by social media, as dictated by the things I've seen online. As beautiful as that content is, I love that content on TikTok as well. Like, oh, yeah, wake up with me at 5am I might not be working. I'll be at 5am, but I'm inspired. Do you, Girl, I might wake up at 6, I might wake up at 7 or come to me. I saw somebody that was doing like a here's my three to nine before my nine to five, five. I said, y', all, it's everywhere. Not catch me, it's everywhere. If I wake up at 3am, I have sleep apnea or I choked or I'm going to the airport. Something happened to me in my sleep. I was arrested by the Holy Spirit. Something happened at 3am if you see me. But I love it for you. And so I think works for you. There you go. And I think as women, we need to get better at. If it works for you, I like it, I love it. If it works for you, that's that. And don't feel lesser just because you had to adjust things. Yeah, like, there was a lot. There was a whole bunch of discourse like, oh, my gosh, you adjusted it. You're doing this. You're not doing this, right. Who said that any of these people had the blueprint of discipline? Who said that? Ah, did you, like, what revelation did you receive from Jesus himself that this is the only way that you could be a productive person? Absolutely not. So I think. I think you increase your chances of success, actual happiness, joy. Like, discipline should be a fun thing. Like, it's not just, oh, gosh, it is a sacrifice, but it's not one that should be approached with such negativity. It's actually, oh, this is bringing me joy. I'm taking care of myself. I'm taking care of my body on my own terms. I'll also say that if you can try and get some blood work, try and understand what is actually happening with your body, if there's anything. Deep paper. I think as women, I hate the fact that there's such a dart of information when it comes to women's biology anyways, right? Or especially when it comes to, like, reproductive stuff. If you have things like endometriosis, pcos, if you have things like hypothyroidism, all of these kind of things can really dictate how you take care of yourself. And the more information that you can glean about how your body works, the more it's not even necessarily about a physical thing. It's even a, like, your cognitive capabilities. Like, do you need more sleep than the general population? Are there certain nutrients that you need more than, you know, other people? These are all part of your very individual genetic makeup. And these are things that should be honored and not seen as like a, oh, gosh, it's such a thing to deal with and stuff like that. It's. It's actually part of who you are. And that's okay, babes, take care of yourself. But what about you, Cords?

[B]

No, I completely agree. I don't think I have much to add. I. I think that point is very pivotal for me. You are an individual, and it's amazing to get inspiration and information from the Internet, but you need to carve out an individual, unique plan for you. Like, it needs to be unique to you. And you can experiment with that as well. You can try this, try that, try this, try that, and then come up with something that's curated for you. Like, when I found out I had pcoa and I went on my fitness journey and, like, wellness journey, I realized, okay, girl, the reason why the. The. You're lifting up the weights, but the weight on the scale is not shifting. It's because you're not Sleeping. And you need to sleep and you need more sleep than the average person, especially when it gets to certain points in your cycle or, you know, sometimes you're just not going to see that shift because your hormones are out of whack right now. Or maybe there are certain supplements that you need to take that other people don't need or things, things that other people are taking that you can't take.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, things like that. Just allowing myself to realize, okay, my diet, my routine, but also the things that I do for my holistic wellness, like prioritizing mental health, things like that, they are tailored to me uniquely because there are challenges I face that other people don't face and vice versa. And so allowing myself to just think about myself uniquely and not just as, as a product of capitalism.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And whether, you know, society will approve of how I run my, my life and who I am. And I think it's also that that greater thing of, okay, you're on a journey like the, the great locking of 2025 is not going to be the end of your life. You're going to be somebody after that as well. So for me, my priority is always what habits am I developing, what mindsets am I developing and am I transforming from the inside out out. Right. Like how do I think, how do I behave? What do I even sound like now? Like, what is my approach, what is my knowledge around health and nutrition compared to just, oh, I need to cut out this particular food group or whatever. So allowing yourself to evolve in a more holistic way, I think anchors you a lot better to have long term change. Especially as someone who's like done the yo yo dieting and the fad dieting and you know, all of these, at the end of the day they are trends and they can become seasonal. But the aim is for these things to have a long, long lasting positive impact in your life that changes who you are and how you behave fundamentally. And so cultivating those things and making that your priority versus just, hey, I get to tick off that I did the great lock in of 2025. But have you actually changed?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

As a person in 2026 and beyond. Oh, and beyond. So yeah, those are my thoughts, man.

[A]

That's so good. I love what you were saying around being holistic. Yeah. Inside out, because you have to be.

[B]

That's what carries you forward, man. Yeah, that is what carries you forward. And it also allows you to not be defined by your external results because anything can happen. You could, I remember being, getting injured. I think it was in 2023. That will humble you. That thing that will help me out. I'm consistent in the gym. I'm losing weight. I'm seeing the scale go down. I feel better in my clothes. And now I have this stupid injury from deadlifting that means that I can't go to the gym anymore for a very long time. And all of a sudden you're now thinking. Thinking like, damn, because I can't perform in this way, I no longer feel like this person who cares about themselves, who, you know, is disciplined, who is all of these things. Not. Not realizing that there were other ways that I could show myself, that I love myself and I cared about my health. And that's when I started walking a lot more. Yeah. You know, like, okay, let's go for a walk or let's.

[A]

Let's step in with.

[B]

Be more in. Tuned with our body and not resent our body because I was. It forced me to now be in a place where it's like, you actually have to listen to the pain.

[A]

Pain.

[B]

You have to listen to the pain in your body. You can't just ignore it, you know, but oftentimes, especially because our pain. Not to get super spiritual, but. Yeah, a lot of times our pains aren't physical. They are emotional, they are mental, they are spiritual. But we can keep going on in life ignoring them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But at some point they will show up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In some kind of brokenness. And so allowing myself to be more in tune with what's going on with me internally. Really. And how should that also direct my actions? Not in that it makes me throw discipline out of the window, but also I'm not ignoring or dishonoring myself by. By acting as though this does not exist. So let me take some time to acknowledge this and then also pave a plan moving forward. Yeah, I think that's such a beautiful thing when you can honor your body not just through discipline, but also listening.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like you actually listen to yourself and you're like, okay, cool call. Like when you were saying about waking up in the morning when it's cold. Okay, I hear it. You're cold, you're tired. It's real. And sometimes even just saying that to yourself versus beating yourself up. Okay, you need to get up because it's 5am and your alarm said. No, just acknowledging it's cold. You're tired. Yes. But if you get up right now, you'll really feel good about it. Or do you really think you just need an extra 20 minutes? Then set the alarm for 20 minutes, lie down, and then we're getting back. Back up. I think talking to yourself in that more nurturing, understanding and rational tone.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is way better than shaming yourself into doing something. So, yeah. Listen to yourself. Speak to yourself and be in control of yourself in that way.

[A]

Yeah, of course. That's real deep, man, because I know that we've spoken about this on, like, previous podcast episodes, but just the importance of reshaping your internal monologue.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And how. How often our biggest critics and our hardest traumas shape the way that we speak to ourselves.

[B]

That inner critic. If all you do in the next three months is reprogram your internal voice, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of success. That has been one of the best things that has happened to me in my life, shaping the way I speak to myself in my own head. It has helped me so much, and it has improved how I talk to other people, how I show up for myself, and it's actually helped my productivity. Not because it's all mushy. Oh, my gosh, you don't have to do this. You feel so tired. But rather, it's like, okay, let's get anchored around our goals. Let me understand myself and let me grow in a sustainable way. Which means at some point, I don't just burn out, crash out, meltdown, because I've been ignoring what's building up inside of me. It's a different level of self regulation. Right. And a lot of us quit because we can't self regulate.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So when you work on that internal voice, it allows you to regulate yourself a bit better. And I think that breeds a great level of consistency. And then you work on the discipline through the habits. So, yeah, it's been a nice journey.

[A]

Beautiful.

[B]

But, yeah. Sisters, we've come to the end of this episode. Let us know how you are locking in for your winter arc. What are your goals?

[A]

What are we doing?

[B]

SIDS. Yeah. Because it's not just physical. It's not just 75 hard for a lot of people. It's something else. So let us know, what are your goals for the last three months of 2025? We hope that you have a very productive Q4 and that it's a beautiful time for you.

[A]

Merry Christmas.

[B]

Merry Christmas. Because it is soon. I think someone said there's, like, at this point there'll be about nine Sundays until Christmas or something like that.

[A]

Yeah, nine.

[B]

Maybe even eight from when this episode goes out. That's crazy.

[A]

Are we getting the antlers out again?

[B]

Not really.

[A]

We'll see. Maybe we'll have eight Sundays to convince you.

[B]

True. Yeah, maybe.

[A]

Oh my gosh. Yeah.

[B]

Lol. I can do like a tinsel.

[A]

Tinsel.

[B]

A little tinsel.

[A]

Yeah. Heard it here first, guys. On the 25th.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Tinsel.

[B]

I can do tinsel.

[A]

Christmas jumpers.

[B]

Not really. So yeah, Sisters, we hope that you've enjoyed the episode. We actually have and we will talk to you very, very soon. Make sure you sign up to the mailing list that you oh, you sign up to mailing list on our website 2 and also rate this podcast 5 stars on Spotify, Apple Podcast wherever you're listening to it and subscribe to our YouTube channel. If you're just watching this and you haven't subscribed, please do follow us on Instagram as well. O My Sisterhood and we are at To My Sisterhood on all social platforms. You can follow us individually, my bestie Enee Capuk and myself at cdw.

[A]

Delightful. Well sisters, we are wishing you a fantastic and excellent week ahead and as always, keep glowing and growing. How does F1 turn data into insights at 200 mph? AWS is how fans get inside the strategy. AWS powers next level innovation for millions of businesses.