Podcast Summary: To My Sisters

Hosts: Courtney Daniella Boateng & Renée Kapuku
Episode: The Great Lock In of 2025: Are Women Being Set Up to Fail?
Date: November 2, 2025

Episode Overview

In this insightful and motivating episode, Courtney and Renée deep-dive into the cultural phenomenon of the "Winter Arc" and the concept of "The Great Lock In of 2025"—a trend where individuals use the final quarter of the year to focus intensely on personal goals and self-improvement. The hosts discuss the positives, pitfalls, and gender‑specific considerations of "locking in", paying special attention to women's unique needs, pressures, and biology. The conversation balances goal-setting and discipline with self-compassion, community, and practical wisdom for holistic development.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. What is the "Great Lock In"? (02:00–03:07)

• Definition: An intentional period, usually Q4 (October–December), for focused goal achievement—commonly known online as the “Winter Arc.”
• Purpose: To encourage a late-year push, whether for physical, financial, spiritual, or mental growth.
• Courtney: “A lot of people are locking in for this great winter arc... using the last three months of the year to achieve certain things.” (02:20)

2. Listener Dilemma: Lending Money & Friendship Boundaries (04:01–15:29)

• Situation: A listener lent money to a friend for rent, only to be subsequently ghosted.
• Advice Highlights:
  • Being Direct: “It's not a bad thing to ask for that money back... the babe should have even felt awkward if she knew she wasn't that close to you. She didn't feel awkward when it came to asking you for money.” – Renée (08:12)
  • Escalation: If there's no response, involve mutual friends or, as last resort, consider small claims or legal action.
  • Boundaries: “Never give out money you cannot afford to lose... people are not wicked, but there’s something about money that can bring out the wickedness in people.” – Courtney (12:46)
  • Reputation: “Things like that ruin your reputation. If not on earth, in heaven.” (14:16, Courtney)

3. The “Winter Arc” Trend: Societal Pressure vs. Opportunity (15:35–21:44)

• Seasonality of Self-Improvement: The "Winter Arc" is not new; each year brings similar narratives of hitting goals before year-end.
• Renée: “The dangers of the winter arc can be embodied in discounting everything that has happened in a year. Sis, you haven't been just sitting on your bum doing nothing.” (18:39)
• Mindset Shift: Use the arc as positive re-engagement, not self-punishment. Growth should be incremental and celebrated—not fueled by shame.

4. Personalization & Individual Purpose (22:20–24:58)

• Tailor the Experience: “You have to make it personal. It can't just be, I'm doing what everyone else is doing.” – Courtney (22:21)
• Preparation vs. Results: Treat Q4 as a season to lay groundwork for future growth and habits, not just to collect “wins.”
• Avoiding Shame: The goal is not to beat oneself up for unmet resolutions but to sow seeds for sustainable progress.

5. Balancing Focus ("Locking In") with Community & Isolation (25:33–34:17)

• Social Impact: The urge to “lock in” can lead to unintended isolation; focus does not require withdrawing from support systems.
• Accountability & Support: “Make sure you're locking in with the right people, grab the right hands whilst you're doing this focused sprint, because those are the people that are going to keep you going when the dark nights come.” – Renée (34:17)
• Practical Examples: Involving friends or family in fitness, spiritual, or career goals can build mutual motivation and resilience.

6. Discipline, Individualism, and Community (34:46–36:10)

• Collectivist Achievement: “People associate discipline with individualism so much, forgetting that our collective effort can actually make a bigger change.” – Courtney (34:46)
• Community Assets: Leverage collective expertise and companionship; don't treat "locking in" as a solitary endeavor.

7. Women’s Biology and Cycle-Aware Discipline (36:03–46:03)

• Unique Needs: Recognize gendered aspects of discipline—many challenges and routines, like “75 Hard,” were designed around men’s physiology.
• Renée: “You are your own person... that information is a gold mine because that will set you up. The problem with most people trying to do...the 75 hard challenge is...it was created by a man and it prioritizes men's biology.” (36:10)
• Adaptation: Modify routines to suit your body, cycle, abilities, or life circumstances.
• Motherhood & Pregnancy: New mothers especially need to resist “snap back” pressure and honor their own pace.

8. Holistic Self-Improvement Practices (46:03–50:37)

• Experimentation: Be flexible and adaptive; initial plans may need tweaks as you learn more about yourself.
• Rest & Recovery: “We need to have a rest and recovery mindset. Even when we are doing the discipline thing, it is training us and helping us to cultivate habits that support us to be better.” – Renée (42:34)
• Wellness over Results: Use discipline as a tool for joy and holistic wellness, not punishment or conformity to social media trends.
• Medical Insight: Get bloodwork and understand your unique biological needs, e.g., for those with PCOS or thyroid conditions.

9. Shaping the Internal Monologue & Breaking the Shame Cycle (50:37–52:43)

• Compassionate Self-Talk: “If all you do in the next three months is reprogram your internal voice, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of success.” (51:39, Courtney)
• Handling Setbacks: Unexpected barriers (e.g., injury) can be reframed as opportunities to discover new forms of self-care and self-love.
• Endurance through Self-Regulation: Changing negative inner dialogue enables greater consistency and long-term change.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Society beats us up enough as women. Listen, society beats us up enough as women... it is very much about like seeing [the winter arc] as an opportunity as opposed to, oh God, I’m changing my whole life because I’ve been slacking.”
  – Renée (19:05)

• “Discipline has such negative connotations because we see it as punishment. But discipline should never really be punishment. We should see it as training.”
  – Renée (42:34)

• “It's not a bad thing to ask for that money back… If she responds negatively, then maybe that friendship is actually not for you.”
  – Renée (08:12)

• “Never give out money you cannot afford to lose… you have to be generous with wisdom, especially when it comes to things that are not charity.”
  – Courtney (12:46)

• “Make sure you're locking in with the right people, grab the right hands whilst you're doing this focused sprint, because those are the people that are going to keep you going when the dark nights come.”
  – Renée (34:17)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 02:00 – What is the "Great Lock In"
• 04:01 – Listener dilemma: Lending money and friendship boundaries
• 15:35 – Navigating the “Winter Arc” trend and mindset
• 22:20 – Personalization and purpose behind year-end efforts
• 25:33 – The risks of isolation during "lock in" periods
• 34:17 – The necessity of community during transformation
• 36:03 – Adapting discipline routines for women's biology/cycles
• 42:34 – Redefining discipline as training, not punishment
• 51:39 – Reprogramming the internal monologue for sustainable self-growth

Final Thoughts

The episode invites listeners—especially women—to embrace the "Great Lock In" as an opportunity for self-betterment, but with essential caveats: cultivate self-awareness, reject toxic and shame-driven productivity mindsets, tailor strategies to your own needs and cycles, and lean on community. Above all, the journey to growth in this season should be holistic, sustainable, and anchored in compassion.

For more support and sisterhood, follow To My Sisters across all platforms and join the conversation about your winter arc goals!