We’re Sorry We Messed Up: Navigating Mistakes, Anxiety & Burnout

Summary

Podcast Summary: "We’re Sorry We Messed Up: Navigating Mistakes, Anxiety & Burnout"

Release Date: October 20, 2024
Hosts: Courtney Daniella Boateng & Renée Kapuku
Podcast: To My Sisters

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Introduction and Live Show Updates

The episode kicks off with Courtney and Renée expressing their excitement about returning to a live format after pre-recording several episodes in advance. They announce the success of their London live show, which sold out rapidly, highlighting the strong support from their community.

Notable Quote:

• Courtney (02:32): "The London live show sold out. That's a big deal. I'm internally suppressing how much I find girling right now because I don't think I can express how much this is a big deal for me."

Embracing Authenticity and Community Building

The hosts delve into the importance of building authentic relationships within their sisterhood. They emphasize choosing guests who embody the podcast's values over seeking celebrity names for greater reach. They share their joy in collaborating with friends from the YouTube channel "Life From Layfield," praising their genuine camaraderie and wisdom.

Notable Quote:

• Renée (06:16): "We know them personally and we can vouch for them. The sisters cannot be shamed."

Navigating Anxiety and Burnout

Courtney and Renée openly discuss their struggles with anxiety and burnout, especially as they scale their podcast and live events. Courtney shares her fears about maintaining momentum and ensuring their efforts align with their original vision.

Notable Quotes:

• Courtney (10:19): "I was feeling like I'm burning out. I'm kind of at this place of I'm putting in so much effort, putting in so much work, maybe in the wrong direction."
• Renée (16:38): "Anxiety, like, and for me, the way that my body expresses anxiety is through chest pain."

Faith, Vision, and Course Correction

The conversation shifts to their reliance on faith to guide their endeavors. They discuss moments of doubt and the importance of trusting divine guidance to steer them back when they deviate from their path. They reflect on the necessity of building strong foundations ("roots") to sustain their growth through various seasons.

Notable Quotes:

• Renée (30:36): "God is doing the work. Even if it's the hard way."
• Courtney (25:39): "In order for us to build things that last, we have to build down before we build up."

Listener Engagement and Sponsorship Calls

The hosts acknowledge their listeners' overwhelming response to live show tickets, urging those interested to act promptly. They also make a heartfelt appeal for sponsorships, emphasizing the financial demands of producing quality content and expanding their reach.

Notable Quotes:

• Renée (08:37): "Don't delay your destiny. Check out today."
• Courtney (54:55): "We've got sponsors. Please do."

Reflections on Personal Growth and Empathy

Courtney and Renée share personal anecdotes about self-awareness and empathy. Renée speaks about reconnecting with her younger self to better serve her community, highlighting the importance of understanding one's journey to foster genuine relationships.

Notable Quote:

• Renée (31:59): "If there's one lesson that I have learned this year, sometimes you have to go back to move forward."

Advice Segment: Dialogue Dilemma

The episode features a heartfelt advice segment where Courtney and Renée respond to a listener's dilemma about navigating a complex relationship situation involving an ex-girlfriend's pregnancy. They provide thoughtful, empathetic guidance, emphasizing the importance of clarity, boundaries, and personal well-being.

Notable Quotes:

• Courtney (59:53): "He needs to decide for himself what this situation is going to be moving forward."
• Renée (63:38): "Seek clarity. Where does he stand? Exactly what you said."

Closing Remarks and Community Appreciation

In their closing, the hosts express gratitude for their listeners' support and encourage ongoing engagement through social media and feedback. They celebrate their accomplishments, including awards and the opening of their Bright Future Academy, underscoring the collective effort behind their successes.

Notable Quotes:

• Courtney (49:21): "The Bright Future Academy is open. The kids are going to school decked out in their uniforms. And that's all a fruit of you guys' generosity."
• Renée (70:02): "We've missed you guys. So please drop a comment. We'll be there talking to you guys."

Final Thoughts

Courtney and Renée conclude the episode by reaffirming their dedication to supporting women worldwide. They highlight upcoming projects, encourage community involvement, and remind listeners of the importance of humility and continuous personal growth.

Notable Quotes:

• Courtney (70:12): "Join a hundred thousand people on Instagram and get us to a hundred thousand on TikTok if you can."
• Renée (71:22): "Keep glowing and growing. Peace out."

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This episode offers a candid exploration of the challenges faced by the hosts as they navigate the complexities of expanding their podcast, maintaining authenticity, and managing personal well-being. Through sincere dialogue and heartfelt advice, Courtney and Renée foster a sense of community and support, embodying the essence of sisterhood they aim to promote.

Transcript

[Renee]

You know, as a busy mom, there are a few ways you can build strong muscles. You could get a gym membership, which you'll never use, buy all sorts of expensive equipment for your garage that you'll forget you have, pay for a personal trainer that you'll never have time to meet with, and buy a fitness watch that only makes you sad every time you look at it. Or you could go for an easy run and try some milk, which helps build strong muscles. Visit gonnaneedmilk.com for more info. And please don't make yourself sad. In order for us to build things that last, we have to build down before we build up.

[Courtney]

Come on. I am not above any woman. I've been called to serve 100.

[Renee]

Sometimes it's really hard to have faith in the mundane and in the details.

[Courtney]

Where do we even begin? Hello and welcome to the To My Sisters podcast. I'm Courtney.

[Renee]

And I'm Renee. And we are your online sisters and hosts of the 2 My Sisters podcast.

[Courtney]

We are all about promoting the wellness, growth and development of a community of sisters around the world.

[Renee]

And in today's episode, Sisters, we are just in minute.

[Courtney]

It's been a minute.

[Renee]

So the tea is we've been doing a whole bunch of investment in our production, doing the whole guest episodes, you know, and as such, we have been recording a whole bunch of episodes in advance. This is the first live and direct straight off the press. There is a lot to talk about because there's a lot that's been going on both in our world, but also the world. So we wanted to use this opportunity to just touch base gist, have a little bit of girl chat, update you.

[Courtney]

Guys on some changes that are happening in the sisterhood. So stay around for that.

[Renee]

Giving systems Windows systems update.

[Courtney]

Oh, update. Update. For real. Where do we even begin? So you guys already know. We typically will do house housekeepings. Then we'll do an announcement.

[Renee]

Right?

[Courtney]

I mean, we'll do housekeeping announcements and then we'll do a dilemma. Sorry. But today we thought let's switch it up a little bit and just have our talk out of the way. We have been eager to talk to you guys first. So what's been going on with us? You know, and it's the fact that.

[Renee]

It'S not even necessarily. We're not intending to come with anything profound.

[Courtney]

No, no, no.

[Renee]

If it does come.

[Courtney]

Yeah, no, no, we will. We. This. This episode is still going to be valuable. We'll share our reflection.

[Renee]

There you go. Yeah.

[Courtney]

On this season of our life. Because this I Think it's been an interesting season. Like, we have. Okay. Whoa. So many things.

[Renee]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Courtney]

So many things.

[Renee]

Actually like a big brother.

[Courtney]

Yeah. This is actually so many things. So what we. First of all, London live show. Sold out.

[Renee]

We're done out here.

[Courtney]

Sold out. The London live show. And you know what? Shout out to you guys, our special guest. I don't even think we've said this on the podcast, and I know people are going to be so angry, but if you don't follow us on Instagram, we've been telling you for the last three, four years literally to follow us. So our special guests for the live show is live from Layfield, which, if you don't know, YouTube OGs original, the originals, like Zoe, UVA and Beverly. Zoe has actually been on the podcast before. Zoe, Alexandra, you guys have heard that episode. And Life from Layfield was a YouTube channel. Is a YouTube channel of these three amazing women who met at uni, formed a best friendship and literally were just dropping game and wisdom and had all of us in awe. This was before podcast became popular. I think we were 18.

[Renee]

We were young.

[Courtney]

Yeah, we were young.

[Renee]

We were young. And it's giving me flashbacks to when we were in our sixth form times.

[Courtney]

Yeah, Uni. Yeah, uni days. Boy crazy. And they've. You know, life happens. You graduate and recording for things like this becomes inconvenient. We can tell you firsthand. And literally they, like, stopped making YouTube videos, but they were dearly missed from the Internet because everybody else was talking rubbish. Like, lack of sense.

[Renee]

The safe haven that we needed, like, genuinely before tms, there was.

[Courtney]

There was lfl. And we've just been praying for a reunion. Every time I see any one of those three girls, I'm like, would you guys ever just bring it back? Because so much one thing, just one thing. Because so much sense, so much wisdom, but also so much sisterhood. Like, you can tell authentically they love each other. And individually, they are just amazing women. And so as we were thinking about what guests to bring, we were like, how about we just shoot our shot and holler at our friends and be like, guys, even if it's for one night, will you please be the guests for the two My Sisters Live in London show this year? And they said yes.

[Renee]

They said yes. So those are amazing guys, by the way.

[Courtney]

Those are actually our friends. I'm not gonna lie. I'm very gassed.

[Renee]

Just when you said, yeah, we just asked our friends to just bail someone's line. I'm gonna send you the invite Properly, but I'm gonna give.

[Courtney]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me just give you a call. But honestly, they said yes, and it's a big deal. I'm not gonna lie. I'm internally suppressing how much I find girling right now because I don't think I can express how much this is a big deal for me.

[Renee]

I feel like you were the night. You're gonna be like, I'm gonna be.

[Courtney]

Sitting at the front. So what business do I have backstage? I have sit in front. I said stuff of that live podcast.

[Renee]

Wow. Got my thing. I gotta write down some of the wisdom that's coming out.

[Courtney]

Oh, 100%. But, like, I think when not only were we fans of Life From Layfield, the YouTube channel, and their content is also seeing each of these women individually bloom in their seasons. Like they've gone on to really do bits in their career, but also in their personal life. At some point, we were going to church with two of the three. So it's just like, we've always been around them and been able to see them behind the scenes. And I think as much as with cms, like, one of the biggest things that we came in with is we don't want the sisterhood to be about celebrity. I feel like we're living in a culture of celebrity and obviously give those girls all their flowers and stuff, but it's easy to call on the hugest names in culture right now and be like, oh, who's going to help you sell out tickets? Who's going to, you know, come and draw a crowd? Or who's hot in the culture right now? But actually, you want people who are integral, people who are actually walking the walk, that they talk 100% and people who actually embody that message of sisterhood. And the theme this year, which is embracing our seasons.

[Renee]

I love that you said that because, I don't know, I guess we'll touch on it in our conversations. But I think it's really important, especially on the Internet nowadays, to know the people and be able to vouch for people.

[Courtney]

Exactly.

[Renee]

Because one thing about the Internet and one thing about individuals is they will embarrass you, especially if you don't know them like that. So for us to actually have not just a platform, but community spaces where we can say, these are not just people that we look to, they're not just people that we think are incredible, but we know them personally and we can vouch for them. And you know what I mean? I'm sorry. But especially on the Internet, street streets, These days, we cannot be shamed.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

The sisters cannot be shamed.

[Courtney]

Yeah. And you know what? That. That's not to say you can't give people grace and space around them to make mistakes. Nobody is an infallible being around here, including us. However, it's just to see these women literally just live out what they talk, whether it be about faith or friendship or all the awkward parts of sisterhood that we rarely talk about. We've written it in our book, but, like, we have whole chapters dedicated to things like comparison and jealousy and learning to be your best self and pursue who God has called you to be alongside other people who also running their race and doing it well. And everyone's journey looking so different to yours that it makes you sometimes question, am I doing the right thing? Am I really walking in what God has for me? And I've seen these three women, not that I know the ins and out of their entire lives, but, like, I've seen them carry it so well and still maintain their friendship within that. So I just think that's something that should be applauded. And I think as a community, sometimes we appreciate. Applaud the people with the most followers or whatever, and we forget that behind the scenes, are they actually worthy of that much praise?

[Renee]

100.

[Courtney]

And I think these women really, really are.

[Renee]

They really are.

[Courtney]

And I think the rest of the sisterhood thinks so, too, because as soon as we announce those people as the guests, those tickets. I've never seen something fly so fast.

[Renee]

I just want to say as well to some of you, I love you. No, no, no, genuinely, I love you with all my heart, sisters, but what you're doing, you cannot continue. We can no longer receive email. DM's message. I missed the. Is there any more tickets? Maybe.

[Courtney]

Listen, they were in my basket. Why didn't you unbasket them? Why didn't you check.

[Renee]

Check out? And you know what? Some of us, we're missing our blessings because we have a thing in our.

[Courtney]

Basket, but we refuse to check out.

[Renee]

Oh, don't delay your destiny. Check out today.

[Courtney]

Complete the. Complete the thing. Anyway, today is too late because the tickets are definite. But there are more live shows coming up. There are more live shows coming up. And, guys, we're actually so excited because next year is filled with more international.

[Renee]

Oh, we're gonna be outside. We're gonna be outside. The girls are outside.

[Courtney]

You know, what did Lonnie say? Is it Lonnie good?

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

She said, I'm sitting on a bad boy piece of information. Oh, Lonnie.

[Renee]

If you're listening to this, we'd actually love for you to come on the show.

[Courtney]

We actually would. We actually would. Tangent. Our dream guest for this podcast is.

[Renee]

Ms. R. Fabulous, genuine, genuinely.

[Courtney]

And I know some people will hear that and think, oh, like, why? Like, because genuinely, I think she's one of the best people truly on the planet. I've never seen somebody one more funny, more authentic to themselves, and someone who genuinely seems like a lovely soul. I would love to sit and talk to Renee.

[Renee]

I'm one of those people who I can genuinely believe that the world has aggravated.

[Courtney]

Yes.

[Renee]

Like, genuinely, there are some. There were some terrible people and some experiences that she had. I was just like, girl, I get it.

[Courtney]

Me too.

[Renee]

I would be moving aggro with some of these mad people around me. So.

[Courtney]

But, yeah, that's a tangent. But, yeah. So live shows happening this year. Sold out. Shoreditch Town Hall. We'll see you on November 9th. And genuinely, I think behind the scenes of that, this live show was challenging for me. I don't know if it's the same for you, Renee, but, like, for me, it was a bit like, damn, God. Like, okay, not me saying damn and God did the same sentence. Sorry, I know some people. That's a cuss word to y'all.

[Renee]

Sorry.

[Courtney]

But, like, I. I think beforehand there was. And just for the last couple of months, there's been a bit of, like, nervousness and apprehension for me. I wouldn't go as far as to say anxiety, but just the, okay, God, this vision that you've given us and you've. You've put on our hearts, like, where are we going? Where are we going with this thing? You know, if somebody wants to send a million dollars or a sign, we will take it.

[Renee]

Specifically the million dollars. Let that be the sign. Do you know what I mean? Because I don't want to see a bat signal gpp, baby.

[Courtney]

And I think there's been. I think anyone can relate to this. If you have a vision or a dream or God has made you a promise and you're like, God, how is it actually going to happen? Like, how can this be? I think I've been in that period of, okay, God, we've done this. We been running for three years by the acceleration of God. Like, it's not even anything we could have planned in this timeline. But I think you can get a bit shaky when you're like, okay, God, this is our window. This seems to be our moment. What is the next move? And you don't want to make the wrong move. And then when we initially put out the tickets for this show, they didn't fly off like they did before. Like, I think the last couple years, apart from last year, okay, the first two years of us doing live shows, because a very similar thing happened with Hackney, but Hackney was just a bigger capacity. It was very much like the first two years, tickets flew off this.

[Renee]

Oh, guys.

[Courtney]

You guys ate it up. And we were so appreciative. And this year, it felt like even though we had scaled down from Hackney empire, they didn't really sell as fast. Like, I feel like, okay, whenever I say this to my mentor, he actually rolls his eyes because I'm like, we actually had to try to sell tickets this year. And he's just like, what? Because you had to make a couple extra posts on Instagram? I don't want to feel like I'm begging people, but. And that's not. Like, I say that with all humility. It's not coming from a place of arrogance. Like, oh, people should just want to come to this. But I think sometimes God pushes you out of your comfort zone. It makes you realize that, like, you're not going as hard for the vision as you think you are, and there's more effort and work that you can put in that the sisterhood actually deserve. And I think I was just getting to a place of, like, God, why are we. Why does it feel like we're actually chasing after this? Where's the grace? Where's the favor? And I think sometimes you can ask yourselves that those questions because the enemy is trying to make you forget how much favor is actually behind you and how many opportunities you've been getting. And I think God was sending signs, not in the form of a million dollars. I'm still waiting on. Not yet, however. Like, I went to Dallas in September for Women Evolve. And whilst I was at Women Evolve, I was meeting people who listen to the podcast, and I was like, what are we doing in the same space? That's crazy. And I think just. Just other things. Like, I was at a coffee shop one day. We were. We had a meeting with Ruth from Trezor Tress. Shout out to Treasure.

[Renee]

I love her so much.

[Courtney]

Who are sponsoring this year's live show again.

[Renee]

Hello.

[Courtney]

So shout out to you guys. But, yeah, we had just finished having a meeting with Ruth and then literally locked off the meeting, and somebody walks into the coffee shop, sits next to me, is like, oh, my gosh, I listen to your podcast. And she was from Canada.

[Renee]

Canada, yeah.

[Courtney]

And I was just Like God, what is actually.

[Renee]

What's going on?

[Courtney]

What is actually going on? I think those little. If you guys ever see us and you, you listen to the podcast, even if you're shy, please come, please and say hi. Because it's so encouraging. Especially in those moments where you're becoming a bit doubtful.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

And I think when it, when it comes to pursuing purpose or whatever, doubt is one of the biggest enemies of it. It's not even lack of funds. Because if you've got lack of funds, but you have belief, oh, you're fine. You'll make a way.

[Renee]

In fact, sometimes you needed to be broke. Access to belief. Because when you ain't got nothing.

[Courtney]

100 but when, when there's something but you're doubtful, you can kill a whole vision. 100 and I was definitely like in my hotel at times or in my room just being like, God, is this season over? Like, is the. Is this. Are we gonna do a three year, four year stint and be done? And I'm just saying this in vulnerability because I think with the vision that God has given us, it feels so long. Like when I went to Women Evolve, it was realizing that, like, this is a legacy that's been decades and decades and decades building up till this moment and we're only three, four years old, you know, and it's like, God, I need faith that will last 40, 50 years and that will be, you know, that will be able to support a generation of women. And then we went and received that prophecy that. The prophecy happened before, but, like, just to be reminded of the prophecy. It's on Instagram if you want to see it. And knowing that the calling that God has put on both our lives is so big.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

And then feeling the weight of that. I think sometimes people don't talk about that. It's all like, oh, you guys are doing great things. And it's like, but great things are heavy. Yeah, they're really heavy to carry. And funnily enough, I'll stop yapping. But everyone I kept.

[Renee]

That's my new favorite. I love that that's.

[Courtney]

Conversely, I identify, clarify, but re what. Everyone I kept bumping into was telling me the same thing. Don't be weary in well doing, which is a Bible. First I came back and I told you. And it talks about how, like, as long as you don't lose faith, everything that you sew will bear fruit.

[Renee]

Amen to that.

[Courtney]

But don't get weary. And I think sometimes even when you're doing good things in the well doing, you can still Get a bit weary and a bit anxious. And I think one of the things that the lady I met from Canada said, she was like, listen, I saw you guys launch TMS hot takes. And one thing I could have told you from that beginning time, you guys were going to burn out. And I think that's what I was feeling like I'm burning out. I'm kind of at this place of I'm putting in so much effort, putting in so much work, maybe in the wrong direction, but I'm feeling the fuel is running out. And it's like, how do you keep running for a 40, 50, 60 year vision when your fuel is burning out at year four? And so, yeah, child, that's, that's all the stuff that's been going through my head. And I think it's been nice to kind of talk about it with you, talk about it with other people and then be able to say, like, sometimes this is just a part of the process.

[Renee]

Yeah, 100.

[Courtney]

Like, sometimes this is the part where you have to either give up or lock in. And I think that making that choice of, okay, we're going to lock in, but what does locking in look like? And sometimes what does stripping back and scaling down look like and things like that? Like, what will allow us to run those 40, 50 years better? Yeah, that maybe we've run year four.

[Renee]

Yeah, that's.

[Courtney]

That's been my mind. How about you Triggered.

[Renee]

I am triggered. I think for you, it's even good that you said, oh, feeling nervousness. Because Courtney ain't going to lie to you. For me, anxiety, like, and for me, the way that my body expresses anxiety is through chest pain. Like, I can actually feel my chest almost. And my. Was it your esophagus? My esophagus is not esophagus.

[Courtney]

Not my esophagus.

[Renee]

You know, when you feel something in a particular place.

[Courtney]

This one is in my throat.

[Renee]

This one is my throat. Like, you know when you eat a piece of meat and there's just like little piece of bone in the back? Yo, Full transparency and vulnerability. I feel anxiety in my chest and in my throat. Yeah, like a real.

[Courtney]

I didn't know that about you. That's so interesting, girl.

[Renee]

I didn't know that about me until I started identifying what was going on.

[Courtney]

That's so funny.

[Renee]

Wait, when they say, oh, self awareness is such a beautiful thing. I don't know about beautiful, but it's really a discovery. But yeah, no, I feel it viscerally in my throat and in my chest. And this year has Definitely been a year where I've been feeling that a lot more.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

And this is not to say that this hasn't been an incredible year. It really has. And I think I really resonate in terms of the fact that with tms, we've seen such incredible things happen objectively this year. Like, looking back at year four of tms, yo, we've done some great things. Insane, incredible things. And I love that for us. But I think sometimes it's really hard to have faith in the mundane and in the details. Because zooming out. Oh, my God, TMS is great. Everything in your life is great. Zooming in. Yeah, that's when you can really see the cracks. It's kind of like when you see someone has done an amazing painting from far away or from like one glance that looks amazing, but you zoom in and all of a sudden you start to see all of these cracks or these lines or these kind of places where things aren't necessarily as perfect. And I feel like that's really encapsulated the season that I've been in where it's like, yeah, everything is objectively great, but there's still some deep anxieties, there's still some tough times, there's still some challenges, especially when it comes to faith. And I resonate so strongly. Oh, every day. Okay, not every day, guys, but there's been so many times where I've come to you or, like, vice versa. And the prevailing feeling is tiredness. It's exhaustion. Putting not just your physical capacity into something, but also your mental capacity, your well being. Having to show up in real life for your community and your friends and everything else you have going on. And then simultaneously also having to show up in a space that relies on you actually being well and doing the work is really tough. That's really, really tough and really draining. And there are some days where I ain't gonna lie to you guys. I ain't got it in me. I ain't got nothing. Not even nothing. No, Pim. All I got for you is like maybe a quote, someone. Not a cobbler, not a cobble, nothing. All I got, like I said, is that bold.

[Courtney]

Take it as an offering.

[Renee]

Take it as an offering, if you will. The wishbone, maybe. Take it if you will. And having to wrestle with those feelings of doubt. I think sometimes we think that having belief means that there won't be those moments of doubt, but I think sometimes those moments of doubt are the opportunities for you to double down.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

And that's what I've really Learned like whenever I'm feeling doubtful, whenever I'm feeling anxious, seeing it and reframing it as an opportunity to double down and remind myself. Like, for example, the vision that we wrote of TMS in Like 2020, I found myself this year reading it, like going back and saying, what was our focus in the beginning? What have we achieved so far and where are we going? And I think sometimes the temptation when you are building something and you start to feel doubtful is you start to let a lot of voices or a lot of other things and people start to dictate or maybe shape what you want to do direction wise. And I can say for tms, I've never felt more confident in the direction that we're going up until now. And I will say that there have definitely been some weeks or some months where I'm like, oh, maybe we should do this or maybe we should do that. And oh, this person said that it would be good if you did that. And I'm kind of like, sometimes you actually need to be tunnel visioned with your vision and double down on what it is that God has laid upon your heart from the beginning. Speaking genuinely. And the worst thing is sometimes the enemy doesn't actually even use bad people. The enemy uses good people.

[Courtney]

Oh, the, the enemy's best weapon is.

[Renee]

Good intentions, good intentions. So people will be. And this is why discernment is so, so key. Because being able to discern the voice of the enemy, even when it's coming out of good lips, is so important. There have been so many people that I love and cherish deeply that have given us advice. That doesn't mean the advice is good or in, in some cases the advice is good, but it's not for us. And you know what I mean, it's actually not for us.

[Courtney]

There we go.

[Renee]

This is great. And this is great advice that would apply to somebody else or someone season or something else or whatever they're building. But for me and for us and what we're building, this doesn't apply. So it's been tough, but it's been a really good season of pruning and understanding. Okay, cool. I'm focusing on and having confidence in what I believe God has actually laid upon our hearts. And sometimes that actually looks like being mad to everybody else, including the people that love you and care about you and are giving you advice in accordance with what they believe success to look like. So even as it pertains to tms, like, oh my gosh, you guys, you did hackney, Empire and 1200 next is O2, blah, blah, blah. Do you know what? What?

[Courtney]

Blood, sweat. Since we were close to making sacrifices on altars because we needed to sell out that Hackney empire. Do you know what I mean? Like, guys, it's so easy to say things with the lips. It's so easy to yap. Yup, yup.

[Renee]

Oh, my gosh, it's so great. Do something bigger. Bigger.

[Courtney]

Do I look like a realistic biggest man thing? Like, not to downplay who you. I know people, but girls, you can do it. Yes, maybe in 2035.

[Renee]

And you know what? Even if we wanted to, yes, we could. But it's not about whether you can do something.

[Courtney]

Wow.

[Renee]

I believe it.

[Courtney]

That's real.

[Renee]

I believe it. Listen, listen. Yeah, you have to have.

[Courtney]

That's real.

[Renee]

That one is not mustard seed face.

[Courtney]

That's. That's the mouth.

[Renee]

The thing is, we have the capacity to do it, but whether. Whether it's part of what we need.

[Courtney]

To do right now in this season.

[Renee]

In this season.

[Courtney]

And that's actually on assignment here, guys. That's.

[Renee]

How is it.

[Courtney]

Biggest things that. I think you've really touched on something spot on there. Right? Because I think we are even guilty of it. I think the biggest thing, the biggest mistake you can make when you're doing something and you're in the throes of it is to now think, what is everybody else doing? Right. Or what does everybody else think we should do? What would be perceived as successful in their eyes? Because God might be taking you in a completely different direction, which looks.

[Renee]

Looks crazy and foolish. Right.

[Courtney]

But if that's where he is, I want to be where he's going. Right? Because that's where the grace is. That's where the peace is. And I think that we've learned this year some, in some degree, the hard way, in some aspects. Like, for example, I can say baldy with TMS hot takes. That was very much a thing of, like, what's everybody else doing? And like, okay, social commentary is the way forward. We're great social commentators. And just because you can do something, like you said, doesn't mean this for you. And so it's just like. But what was TMS actually called? To be.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

And realizing not to be super spiritual, but, like, this is God's thing.

[Renee]

No, we have to be super spiritual. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because as we have seen, there is evil in the world.

[Courtney]

There is evil in the world. Oh, Jesus. There is evil in the world. So, yeah. Just understanding that. What is God calling you to build and this is his thing and if he's not in it and you abduct his thing and run away with it, it's going to crumble in your hands. You don't have the capacity to keep this thing.

[Renee]

It's just not going to work. And sometimes you have to surrender to that. Yeah, it looks like to others, it looks like, oh, you're going smaller, you're playing small, you're doing this or whatnot. But even with something like our live shows, it's never been about breadth. It's always been about depth. In order for us to build things that last, we have to build down before we build up.

[Courtney]

Come on.

[Renee]

And I think that because of us are so focused on what we can see above the surface that when testing comes or when there's any ounce of shaking, we forget that there's no roots that are keeping us. There's no roots that are ensuring that we maintain our structure in tough times. And there's a reason why. This links perfectly back to the TMS live show theme, which is embracing our seasons. Not every season is going to be summer. Not every season is going to be spring. Heck, we are in winter. Yeah, we skip Skips UK ladies. You know, we skipped autumn. I saw like one brown leaf. All of a sudden I'm bringing out my jacket and my mates have been taking the pee out of me because I have this massive jacket. This, like my Russian military jacket. Yeah, it's that kind of jacket that you wear in, like, Moscow.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

You know what I'm saying? When the. The weather is like minus X degrees or whatnot, that's the season that we're currently in. And I think it just goes to show the fact that sometimes you have to respect your season and that by doing certain things above the surface. Yes, they're great. Yes, they look cool. Yes, they look wonderful. But a, they won't stand when the, you know, the season actually changed. But also you won't be able to reproduce it either. You don't have the roots. Like an apple tree is only able to grow and reproduce itself as long as it has roots. Some of us, we have produced fruit in one season, but we're incapable of reproducing and multiplying because we don't have roots.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

And I think having to deal with that wintery season where we're actually plowing the land, where we're actually doing the work, like really doing the work is challenging, but it's so necessary and it hurts. Ah, guys. I like to stand by the fact that I'M not like a massive crier or more. I've shed tears this year. I've shed tears this year because of this thing that they call anxiety, Doubt. Having to rally up my faith. Like, it's tough. It doesn't look. Look sexy.

[Courtney]

No.

[Renee]

This whole, you know, self awareness thing or going on this glowing and growing journey, it's not a sexy thing. It's a hard thing. Yeah, it really, really hurts. And it's an ongoing journey of confronting the deepest, darkest bits of yourself that keep on coming up to the surface and rearing its ugly head every now and again.

[Courtney]

Absolutely.

[Renee]

Trust me. I felt the same way. When the tickets came out, I was like, yo, guys, y'all don't want to support us? What's going on? Y'all don't. Y'all don't like us no more?

[Courtney]

Like, and that was actually a big. A big fear for me. Like, the sisters stay supporting us with different things. And I think there was a part of me that was like, oh, are you guys not feeling this anymore? And it wasn't from a place of resentment. It was from a place of guilt and fear. Because I was like, oh, I feel like the sisters have been showing out because we have been committed to serving them, and they see that and they appreciate that. So the question that came to my mind was, have we not not served you well and where have we gone wrong? And I felt like that brought amount about guilt for me because I was like, damn, this platform exists to serve women. It exists to give women what they need. A place to be seen, a feeling of community. It exists to give women the power that sometimes we feel like we lack, or at least the community power that makes us feel empowered. And I just felt like, oh, have we missed the mark this year? And is that why people are not showing up? Like, I know people whose cost of living crisis. Everyone's been like, oh, I'm waiting for my paycheck, and all of that stuff. I'm like, there was that anxiety and that fear that came with, maybe this year we missed the mark.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

And people don't feel as plugged into a community because maybe we've been trying to entertain too much or we've been so focused on, like, views and numbers and the things that needs to happen for this podcast to keep going that we've forgotten about the people, and now the people don't want to rock with the sisterhood. So I was like, oh, all the thought thoughts or the fears or the feelings. I think the. The podcast show selling out. It Felt like a victory for sure. That same day, we won an award. Crazy for Podcast of the Year. Absolutely insane scenes. That. That day was crazy last week, but it just made me think, like, God, I never want to feel that feeling again. Even if the shows don't sell out, I want to know I've served this community well. That's it. Even if three people come, if I can be happy with how the year went and know that we poured our all into what women actually needed, I'll be fine with that. And I felt like the guilt was. I couldn't confidently say that we poured our. We poured our all into this. Don't get it twisted. Burnout has happened because we've been pouring our all. But I think we were doing it from a place of distraction, maybe from, like you said, the main vision. So, yeah, I never want to feel that feeling again.

[Renee]

One thing that I'm really grateful for is, is the God that we serve is a course corrector.

[Courtney]

He really is. Even if it's the hard way.

[Renee]

Even if it's the hard way. Especially if it's the hard way. I am grateful for the fact that we have somebody watching over us that is like, not that way. I'm a block off this way. Roadworks. You might have to go around the roundabout again, but at least this time you're going to take the right exit.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

And I think there were definitely some moments. I don't know about you, but there's definitely been some moments this year where I'm like, God is doing the work.

[Courtney]

Of course correction for us.

[Renee]

Whether it be personally, whether it be around tms, whether it be removing, adding things, it really does feel like one of the blessings about this being something that we have dedicated to God, is that when God is starting to leave the atmosphere or the perimeter, he's like, yo, hello. Ding, ding, ding, ding. You are going the right way. This is going to add 30 minutes to your journey. Don't do that. So I'm very, very grateful for the fact that we have had those moments of course correction. And I think, think in all vulnerability, that's just the way these things go. Like, we're never going to have a perfect narrative of following the dream. And we did everything completely right. No, we did many things wrong. And we will continue to do many things wrong. And that is why grace is so important. But also discernment and maturity is so important. Being able to learn from those mistakes, being able to go back as well as go forward.

[Courtney]

Absolutely.

[Renee]

In fact, having the humility to go back I think is such a big thing, like alongside the vision for tms. Fairly recently I've been. It was inspired by the post that you did actually for the day of the girl. I got a picture of myself when I was a kid, maybe like four or five years old, whatever. And I've been looking at her like more often recently and I'm just like, wow, this was the girl that I used to be. And my heart really, really aches for her because I know exactly what she was feeling. I know some of the experiences that she's been through and the kind of woman that she is today. But being humble enough to go back and look at myself and be like, wow, this is how far you've come. But also being able to have that touch point of this is the girl that you're trying to serve right now. Like, it's not even just, oh, I'm serving myself in my current physical, emotional, whatever my state is right now. But I'm actually serving not just the woman that I am, but the girl that I was.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

And that is such a humbling reflection, knowing everything that I have been through as that person. And I think it's also enabled me to be a lot more empathetic to myself as well and by extension, empathetic to other people. Absolutely. Because I think especially as women, we talk about this on the podcast so often, we can go and do a whole bunch of things under the guise of I want to serve people, I want to change the world, all that kind of stuff. But if there's certain things internally that you can't reconcile yourself with, first, if you're struggling to be humble enough to go back, if you're the kind of person that is liable to distractions rather than thinking and focusing on what you know you're supposed to be doing, then it's going to be very, very difficult for you to move forward. Absolutely. And if there is one lesson that I have learned this year, sometimes you have to go back to move forward.

[Courtney]

Well, yeah, you have to shed. You have to shed and let go of all the things that aren't serving or about to serve the next season as well. And I do agree with you. I think it's been God's mercy and God's goodness that it didn't take us long to figure out, oh, something is off. Something is off here. And I think this year has still had it, its amazing high points. And it's just been that behind the scenes feeling of, oh, but something is not right. And I think you have to really Stay in tune to that intuition and that small voice that is telling you, yeah, but fix the behind the scenes. Because one, you know, the, the whole rudder situation, like it just takes being one degree off at the beginning and it, at first it doesn't look like you're going in the wrong direction until you're 30 miles, 50 miles, 100 miles out. Then you'll realize, so you're so diverted from where you initially needed to be. And I think it is God's goodness that he corrects that slow drifting. And he's like, no, no, no, come back. Because you can't see that in two years time this is going to be even worse.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Than where it is now. And I think that's just such a beautiful thing. And I think it's is important for anyone if you're an entrepreneur, if you're somebody who gets to just lead in any capacity, whether it's leading your family, leading a team at work, leading a business, whatever it is, go back to the initial vision that you had. And it's not necessarily going back to the initial plan because maybe if I tell you the plans that we have had, some plants are not worth revisiting, you know. But go back to the initial vision. Like what did God actually show you that he wanted to do through this business, through this family, through this marriage, through this friendship? What did God actually show you and trust that he will get you there? He doesn't send out his word for it to return to him void. Like he will actually establish it. And it may be in a longer time frame, a shorter time frame. It may be in a way that's so uncanny to you and you had no idea it was going to work out this way, but it will happen. The question is, will you be obedient, though, to those small nudgings that are. You're going the wrong way? And I think that's been my biggest. My biggest plan, I think, or my biggest prayer. Sorry. I think when you pray like God, your kingdom come, your will be done. You have to trust that it has to be done God's way, and sometimes his way is filled with course corrections and it's also filled with rebukes. And you need to stop. You need to stop this thing that you're doing. And I think this year we've learned that, like, yes, you guys are blowing up, but stay close to the voice of Jesus because you guys don't know where you're going. You've never been there before.

[Renee]

Let me tell you something. No matter where you Go carry your bag. The moment, the moment somebody starts offering, oh, let me carry your bag, miss. That's a bit of.

[Courtney]

Tell you something. Let me tell you something. So by the grace of God, we get to do a lot of, like, speaking engagements. And this year God is really open up to speak at, like, ministries and church engagements and stuff. And whenever they give me a helper, that person is always wanting to, let me carry your bag. Let me. And I get it. It's honor. I completely get it. I, too, I'm in the ministry. I know what it's like to support people and honor people. I completely get it. However, I think people are confused when I'm like, like, no.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

I'm so adamant. Like, I can wheel my own suitcase. I can carry my own bag. Not because I don't want you to do it. It's because I have to do it. If I do not do it, the arrogance that could come and consume me. People are carrying my Bible, People are carrying my bag. People are carrying my suitcase. When I come in, they open the door for me and make sure that.

[Renee]

You give me my cappuccino.

[Courtney]

Do you get what I mean? Like, all these things and shade, again, no shade to anybody who does it. But I think there are things that God doesn't allow you to do because he's like, it will make you into somebody I do not want you to be. If you do not learn to just be humble now, where you're going, humility will not find you.

[Renee]

Oh, boy.

[Courtney]

If you can't be humble now, carry on. I'm still getting the trade to some of my administrations, baby.

[Renee]

Period. Period. And let me tell you something, There is, there is nothing more humbling. There's nothing more humbling.

[Courtney]

There is nothing more humbling.

[Renee]

Catch me on the Central Liberty.

[Courtney]

Do you want to know something that's hilarious? So this year your girl is trying to really get on top of her financial stewardship. And I have so many, like, different savings accounts and different pots for different things in different places. And obviously it's all relying on standing ordinance, all of that stuff. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile.

[Renee]

With the price of just about everything.

[Courtney]

Going up during inflation, we thought we'd bring our prices down. So to help us, we brought in a reverse auctioneer, which is apparently a thing. Mint Mobile unlimited premium wireless. 30, 30.

[Renee]

Biddy. Get 20, 20, 20. But you get 20, 20.

[Courtney]

A bit of 15, 15, 15, 15.

[Renee]

Just 15 bucks a month.

[Courtney]

So give it a [e-mail] switch.

[Renee]

$45 upfront payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three month plan only taxes and fees. Extra speed slower above 40 gigabytes. You detail. My dad works in B market. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big roas man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friends still laugh at me to this day.

[Courtney]

Not everyone gets B2B but with LinkedIn.

[Renee]

You'Ll be able to reach people who do. Get a hundred dollar credit on your next ad campaign.

[Courtney]

Go to LinkedIn.com results to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn.com results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn the place to be. To be. Why does Monzo oh yeah, send you a bloody notification like, oh, it doesn't seem like you have enough money. That's exactly what the. No, it doesn't seem like you have enough money for your payments tomorrow. It doesn't seem like you have enough money.

[Renee]

And you know they'd be saying, yeah.

[Courtney]

Your funds are low. They scream on your home screen. Humbling. Very, very humbling. Very humbling. But as somebody who receives these notifications, why should you be holding my bag? Let me remember who I am lest I forget. Lest I forget. Lest I forget. So literally, I think what you said is spot on. Like it's humility. And I think that keeps me.

[Renee]

Because you know, when that happens you have to. The brightness of your screen, minimize it.

[Courtney]

You know, when we went to Amsterdam for the day, why did I go and tap my card and my card said card declined. And Monzo was, you don't have enough money. Your card was declined for €19 because you don't have enough money.

[Renee]

You have to. No, guys, don't worry. I got money in the other account. I just need to transfer.

[Courtney]

Let me bring out my other debit card. It's just, it's small things like that that God uses to remind you, you need me.

[Renee]

You're actually not there.

[Courtney]

You're not there and you never will be. I think every level, like, guys, don't get it twisted. I have had 12p in my account. There's no this, this whole, you don't have enough money. It's not foreign to me. The difference is, it's not, it's not, I know who I am. The difference is when I had 12p, there was no other account to go to.

[Renee]

That was that.

[Courtney]

That was the world has one run drop. But now a woman of many worlds, by the grace of God and many more, Hallelujah. But it just, it reminds you, no matter what Level you get to because 12p Courtney was dreaming about this Courtney now with her different savings pots and her reaching her goals and stuff. But this present, Courtney still knows I need the Lord, right? Like I'm still humble. Humble enough to know I am not above any woman. I've been called to serve 100 and I think sometimes we need to g check ourselves because the world won't do it. The world loves to blow up egos. It's manu designed to blow up ego. Social media is architected to blow up egos. And so if you do not keep yourself humble, no one's going to do it for you. Like no one's going to, especially when you are a high achiever. Everybody's going to give you the compliments, everybody's going to give you the likes. Everyone's going to be like singing your praises. And if it's not for you to be keyed in to your own convictions, keyed into your own conscience, you will miss the mark whilst everybody is clapping for you heavily. And you don't want that to be the setting of your life. So, yeah, when you guys see me, I'm not gonna lie, I like it when you guys try. But even that, I'm still trying to kill the flesh. Don't worry about carrying my bag, I can do it.

[Renee]

This one that you enough to start sitting at the back.

[Courtney]

Yeah. Now when I'm older, yeah, when I'm.

[Renee]

Like old, you're gonna have to carry my bag.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

Please, somebody help me. Yeah, yeah, please, please support or like, things like that. I'm very much in favor of even common chivalry, like still be opening doors for me and stuff.

[Courtney]

Oh, no, this is not a PSA for men. Why do I need humility in a romantic relationship?

[Renee]

Carry my bags, open the door.

[Courtney]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Renee]

Let chivalry not die.

[Courtney]

Absolutely.

[Renee]

Don't be, don't be fooled by the machinations of the world. Don't let them, don't let them plague your minds about what is possible. Yeah, don't let them lull you into this. Do you know what I like? I know that the girlies have been saying, oh, you know, equality and all them things there, and I support that. Equality and equity. Yeah. I'm a fly, fly the flag. Chivalry can never die. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, call me a traditionalist, old fashioned, but I just think it's the height of rudeness for me to like be following you as a man that into a place and the door has shut in my face. But you haven't opened it for me. Jail time. Manners, please. But no, genuinely, guys, in whatever capacity or situation that you're in, carry your own bag. It is necessary so that you can also continue to acquaint yourself with the load.

[Courtney]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good.

[Renee]

Because one thing about this life is we are all called to labor and we must all do what? Carry our load. Carry your load.

[Courtney]

Tax facts. But yeah, that's. That's been some sorts of reflections in this season. But 2024 genuinely has been a rock star.

[Renee]

Excellent.

[Courtney]

Oh my goodness. First of all, this year has been slow and fast at the same time. I cannot believe we're in October. But also I cannot believe January. We had the billboard and that was this year. I think that's crazy because that feels like six years ago.

[Renee]

Listen, do you know what I actually think is criminal? We peaked too early in terms of our. Oh, guys, you won't put the rest.

[Courtney]

Of the cues to shame.

[Renee]

It was giving the one that got away. Q1. Listen, from now on, I genuinely think Q1 and Q4 or Q2 and Q4, we have to be outside this country. We have to be. Because guys, no, obviously it was nice to do up, oh, you know, Amsterdam and like all these cutesy. For context, we went. Our lovely friend Dorcas. Actually our actual. We love her. We have to say that now that we have mentioned her, she'll be listening to this. Like, guys, they mentioned me. But no, we actually loved her. And, and it. It was her birthday recently, so we went for a day trip to Amsterdam, which was wonderful. Excellent. Love it. 10 out of 10.

[Courtney]

Sorry. You know what's making me laugh? So Dor was like, let's do a day trip to Amsterdam. So obviously our flight was super early and she said, come casual, chill, cozy. Because it's cold. So we left our house at like 5 in the morning, obviously in a cute outfit but with no makeup on. Not even, you know, just looking natural, bare faced and happy. We got to her hotel in Amsterdam. She said, you guys took that really seriously. When I said casual, I said, talkers, please. Why are you saying we came looking ugly? We had to leave London at 5am but yeah, sorry, dorkus, next time we.

[Renee]

Come in to take the photos of you, we are competing the photos of you and to eat.

[Courtney]

She said, you guys took that casual figure real serious.

[Renee]

Maybe because I was even like girl age that you turn it. We be in it. We be. We being it. We be it.

[Courtney]

And we're feeling it.

[Renee]

We are feeling it.

[Courtney]

Because even one of the questions was.

[Renee]

Like, oh, like, what are some of the learnings from 27?

[Courtney]

In the way.

[Renee]

In the way that we've presented ourselves.

[Courtney]

Ah, you can see.

[Renee]

But I'm putting this out here so that the sisters can hold us accountable. Me and Courtney were going to Mexico.

[Courtney]

Amen.

[Renee]

We'll find ourselves in Mexico. Ideally, it will be in 2025. God, they call you Jehovah. I believe it's expressed in your character. You are one who provides send funds.

[Courtney]

Hallelujah.

[Renee]

Listen, it's only because we're actually. Oh, sorry.

[Courtney]

The side. I was crazy for my brother.

[Renee]

I said, oh, Brian, unless you're sending. Maybe that was our blessing. Who knows? Listen, it's only because we're obedient that we haven't harvested you guys funds. I'm telling you.

[Courtney]

Oh, gosh.

[Renee]

Telling you because people. No, no, no. Biggest message. People look at TM saying, oh, you guys are making bare monies. You're doing such incredible things.

[Courtney]

You guys work on this full time. Are you bloody mad? We built a school this year, so a lot of our money had to.

[Renee]

That's what I'm saying. It is good that we're obedient and that we work on our character. Because if I was an immoral babe. Yeah. That money raised, I'll be in Mexico. Cabo. Salute, baby.

[Courtney]

Any of you are doing, please stop doing these fundraisers and skimming someone for yourself. Very bad.

[Renee]

Very bad. Yeah, this one that. The money that TMS makes, even sometimes if we want to buy sandwich, I'll even be shook. This is this. This is the sister's money. We're trying to support them. You know, we care about them. Listen, you guys are lucky that we are women of stature, because the women of immorality that we could have been long time ago, we would have shut down this tms, run away. We would have been outside.

[Courtney]

But Mexico is necessary. But yeah, Q1 was crazy. I think this. This morning I was reading Joshua and it was just talking about the memorials and like, just remembering what God has done and his faithfulness and literally just remembering that, like earlier this year, we had a billboard with Spotify. We went to South Africa, we went to New York. We've won an award this year. Like, we've gotten to speak at so many places. We're nearly at 8 million downloads.

[Renee]

We hit 100k on Instagram.

[Courtney]

100K on Instagram. We were nominated for the top 25 listed in the top 25 business people.

[Renee]

Allegedly.

[Courtney]

Hallelujah. Glory be to the most high Our book was featured on the McKinsey reading list. The big consulting McKinsey. Just to let you know. Real one. The real one. The corporate. The corporation McKinsey. They listed our book on their executive reading list.

[Renee]

Insane executive reading. That means a corporate girl if you want to get ahead.

[Courtney]

Recommended reading to my sisters. I think stuff like that. It's like God blows your mind this year. The school is open, guys. The school is open. The Bright Future Academy is open. The kids are going to school decked out in their uniforms. And that's all a fruit of you guys generosity.

[Renee]

Yep.

[Courtney]

And support of this sisterhood. So thank you. And being able to achieve that this year. Crazy.

[Renee]

Insane.

[Courtney]

Crazy. And then a sold out London live show. More things in the works.

[Renee]

Grateful man. We actually appreciate it. Grateful God, please though. That Mexico trip, it could. It could really do with it, but it's more so just thinking about like how we set up our life and our year and the TMS calendar. Because. No, genuinely, Q1 was fantastic. Like we were out here international doing up international babe. But I think actually having time to rest.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

But also rest internationally. Because there is a rest. Specifically, there is a rest that escapes us in the United Kingdom.

[Courtney]

Yeah. Rest of the UK is called sleep Sleep.

[Renee]

Because to be waking up and to be fighting for one ray of sunshine and minimal vitamin D is just not the experience that we should be having for ourselves. So I think it begs the question, okay, Q3, Q4. You might not find Courtney every day in the United Kingdom. And we will set up TMS years to be able to support that.

[Courtney]

Amen.

[Renee]

Because yeah, Q1 was hard and fast. And then Q2 and then Q3 and now we're in October and now people are doing up Halloween. Also. Please do not come and knock at our door, beloved.

[Courtney]

Why are you guys inviting? Well, not you guys. You guys know better. Actually. It is the world. It is the other corporations. Why am I getting it? Do you want to come to a Halloween party? No.

[Renee]

I'll come to your Christmas one. But not the Halloween.

[Courtney]

No, no. You guys are gonna send me an Easter invite. Halloween.

[Renee]

Halloween.

[Courtney]

Oh, Hallow's Eve with the spirit. You can give that to yourself.

[Renee]

Roaming around.

[Courtney]

I need no ey. Shadow that man. I'm so sorry. I apologize. With the devil.

[Renee]

The devil himself. He ain't need no boyfriend for a meal.

[Courtney]

That's how Esau lost his birthright.

[Renee]

Listen, I'm good however delivery and just eat. I know you guys are listening to this. I know it, I know it, I know it. And all of the brands that we support.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

Me and Courtney, you guys know that we're coffee drinkers.

[Courtney]

We are. I haven't had a good. I haven't had a coffee in a minute, though.

[Renee]

Really?

[Courtney]

Yeah. So I've been on a little fast. Oh, I haven't had coffee in a while. It hurts.

[Renee]

I could imagine. Imagine.

[Courtney]

It hurts.

[Renee]

I can imagine. Sorry about that.

[Courtney]

It's okay.

[Renee]

I had a fantastic pistachio latte.

[Courtney]

Great. For you.

[Renee]

From Eli.

[Courtney]

Correct. Great. I love it. Elan's a bit overrated, you know, it is. It's beautiful.

[Renee]

It is.

[Courtney]

But I think Elan's a bit over 100.

[Renee]

Overrated. All of their, like, drinks and stuff are not that great.

[Courtney]

Right.

[Renee]

The pistachios and they look. Latte.

[Courtney]

Okay.

[Renee]

However, if you are lactose intolerant.

[Courtney]

Yeah. No.

[Renee]

Because they put condensed. Condensed milk in it. Him. You will need to pop pills.

[Courtney]

Just get yourself some lactate.

[Renee]

Get yourself ready. Because it's like drinking milk straight from the bottle. Home. Is the fact they say fresh, whole. Genuinely, I hate to be somebody that judges, but if you drink whole milk in 2025, you're a criminal. I don't care. You're actually a criminal. That is, you brighten the car at this rate.

[Courtney]

Well, I mean, the girlies that are maybe trying to gain some weight.

[Renee]

Is whole milk the way that you're gonna do that?

[Courtney]

I mean, I think it's the most calorie dense of all the other milk alternatives.

[Renee]

Have some digestive issues.

[Courtney]

You know what, though, that actually, like. I want to know what's happening where some of you are not lactose intolerant. Even though we were not made to drink milk. And I'm not talking about, like, our Caucasian brothers and sisters, us as the black community. Listen, what business do we have not being lactose into delusion? Crazy.

[Renee]

I think it's called delusion.

[Courtney]

Your tummy is bubbling. Can't be a big 30 years old, and your tummy is still reacting well to cheese. Listen to the signs.

[Renee]

But one thing about us is we're gonna risk it.

[Courtney]

A chocolate biscuit.

[Renee]

Hello. And if it's good enough.

[Courtney]

Yeah. But yeah, I think this is actually a call out. This work, guys, is pricey. Like, can't even lie. So even shout out to everyone who's been watching the guest episodes. Shout out to consult Ridge, who's been helping us produce those and, like, do the recording and the editing. But is expensive to do that. And yeah, we're working on some stuff right now that will hopefully just help us as A business. But also just let us know what you want to see from us. Because we can't be invested funds of things you guys don't want. We want to invest in things you guys actually want. And I think guest episodes are great, but what guests would you like to see so that we're investing in the right ones? There was something else that I was going to say. This is a call out. Out. I know the girls be working. Working in good places too. If you are somebody who works for a brand. Hello. You feel like could partner with us in some way? Whether it's beauty, lifestyle, food, pharmaceuticals, anywhere.

[Renee]

Ideally food.

[Courtney]

Ideally food though. Active. Active stuff. Then please talk to your team and shoot us an email. Hello, courtneywomysisters.com Renee, my sisters.com advocate for us. Us. Just advocate for us. And we need sponsors. Also need sponsors.

[Renee]

Actually that's a really good segue to actually thanking everyone that has reached out to us.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

God bless you guys.

[Courtney]

Like this is people reaching out.

[Renee]

Yo.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

Even before we've actually put out any kind of call. God bless you guys for even just sending tentative. Hey, thank you guys so much for the work that you're doing. I'd love to support by doing X. We've had such talented and wonderful, particularly women.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

That we've been able to work with that we're really excited to really partner with in the future as well. So thank you. God bless you. And if there's any more of you that would like to support the work that we're doing.

[Courtney]

Bella line. Yeah, no, honestly, thank you. The amount. Yeah. People, people have been coming through and just being so supportive and if you would like to sponsor an episode or just something in the sisterhood, an event, please do. We've worked with such amazing people and like partnership and collaboration is a big deal for us here as a community centered organization. So please, please, please, if you want to do something with us, shoot us a proposal, shoot us an email, list up a meeting and we can talk. We are just humans on a couch trying to make this thing work and go global.

[Renee]

Do you remember that song? Are we human or are we dancers? Do you know what? It reminds me. I don't even know. Remember assigned to vinyl? My hands are cold and I'm on my knees looking for the answer. Are we human or are we tense?

[Courtney]

Doesn't even make sense.

[Renee]

Surely you can be human. Oh my gosh. But do you remember that era, like back in the day where like our Caucasian brothers and sisters, they were making music.

[Courtney]

Do you remember the Arctic Monkeys. Do you get what I mean? Like, no, those were bangers.

[Renee]

Listen. And Snow Patrol. Like, they were killing it. Really?

[Courtney]

I don't know. Snow Patrol.

[Renee]

Arctic Monkeys, Snow Patrol. There's one other band I'm thinking of. I can't remember.

[Courtney]

There was Busted. There was Coldplay. There's Cold Play, Marine Five, Move High.

[Renee]

Yeah, they were making some great music.

[Courtney]

What's the people that sang Break Even the Script.

[Renee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Eat. Absolutely. Eat him.

[Courtney]

Great.

[Renee]

That man who can't be moved.

[Courtney]

Rest in peace to Liam Payne.

[Renee]

Yeah, Truly.

[Courtney]

That is really, really sad.

[Renee]

That was really upsetting to hear. That was really, really upsetting to hear.

[Courtney]

That was so sad, guys. Life is so short.

[Renee]

Jesus is.

[Courtney]

Lord.

[Renee]

There's just a lot going on in the.

[Courtney]

Life is so short. What? Please give your life to Jesus.

[Renee]

Give your life to Jesus. Mr. Puff Daddy, please give your life to Christ. That's what I'll say on the matter. Jeez. That's what I'll say on the matter.

[Courtney]

We all need help.

[Renee]

That's what. That one.

[Courtney]

We all.

[Renee]

Specifically, there's dosages.

[Courtney]

Oh, my gosh.

[Renee]

That's all I'll say on the matter, Mr. Love.

[Courtney]

We've talked enough about that. I just think it. Oh, guys. Anyway, do we want to do a dialogue dilemma before we cut out?

[Renee]

Why not? Why not? I don't know how you feel about this dilemma.

[Courtney]

Oh, wow. Oh, sorry, guys. It's been a while. It's a ding, ding, ding, ding. Let's go.

[Renee]

Hi, guys.

[Courtney]

Hey.

[Renee]

I've been a listener from the US since 2020, and I love you guys so much.

[Courtney]

Thank you. From the beginning.

[Renee]

From Dominican.

[Courtney]

I love it.

[Renee]

As the older sister, sometimes I feel like I need a big sister, too. And you guys have been that for me.

[Courtney]

Oh, that's very kind. Thank you.

[Renee]

But anyways, here's my dilemma. I'm 19, and I've been friends with this guy for a while now. He's a year older than me. Okay. Earlier in the year, he broke up with his ex girlfriend, and I ended my situationship around the same time.

[Courtney]

Okay.

[Renee]

Things started to get a bit more serious between us, and I honestly saw myself being his girlfriend. He told me that he loved me, and I told him I loved him, too. Things were good. Oh, romantic. Yeah. Hold that thought. About two months ago, he told me that he found out that his ex girlfriend is pregnant with his child. I decided not to go further with him, but I still want to be there for him in this difficult time in his life because he's still my friend. He tries to take things further from time to time and it's getting, it's getting harder to keep things platonic between, hey, I don't think it's a good idea to be with him right now. And I'm scared of dealing with baby mama drama that will never be my portion.

[Courtney]

Amen.

[Renee]

But I love him. And I'm second guessing my decision to put a pause on our relationship. Do you think that taking the risk is worth it?

[Courtney]

No. What kind of double mindedness is this?

[Renee]

You're actually such an.

[Courtney]

You know, situations are not simple and easy sometimes, and this is definitely a complex one because I can imagine how much you like him. But baby girl, if you're telling yourself you don't want to be in a situation where there's, you know, a baby mama involved or just the mother of his child involved, then don't. I also think it's crazy that he seems to not be able to decide what he wants. Is it that he wants to be with her and then make, you know, a nuclear family, or is it that he wants to be with you and co parent with his ex? Like, has he actually made it clear what he actually wants? Because I don't know if I'm missing something, but in this dilemma, it doesn't actually seem clear what he wants out of this. Obviously you guys broke up so that he could maybe deal with this situation. I can imagine how stressful it may be, but he needs to decide for himself what this situation is going to be moving forward. Am I going to be with her or is he going to be with you? Once he makes a decision, he needs to have a clear cut boundary around whatever he decides. So if he's going to be with you, then letting the mother of his child know there are boundaries there. And if he's going to be with her, letting himself know that there are boundaries with you that he needs to honor as well. And I think having that conversation with him is very worth doing. I know he's going through a stressful time, but baby girl, you need to know what you're doing with your life too. So just sitting him down and being like, what is going on? We're trying this friendship thing and it's not working. Is it that you want to be with me or do you want to be with her or do you want to be with no one? Because that's also an option too. Yeah, but at least it will let you know where he stands. I personally don't think without that conversation, you guys should maintain such a closeness I think you should have the conversation to then know how to move forward. And I think this all comes. I don't think it's necessarily any. There is necessarily anything wrong with being with somebody who has a child and I'm with somebody else. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But you need to know what you're buying into. You need to know that that's what you're signing up for. And that comes with its own quote, unquote complications or, you know, nuances that other relationships don't. If you're happy to sign up for that, then go ahead. But make sure that he's honoring those boundaries that have been set with that particular setup. And if he decides that, no, he doesn't want to be with you, maybe he wants to lean more into having a relationship with his ex or he wants to be single, then pack your load and go, like, you will find somebody else. You are too young. You are too young to be battling with such a dilemma.

[Renee]

So, sister, please, I think you were spot on. Point blank, period, exclamation mark. Close the book. Girl. We love you dearly. We really, really do. And I'm trying not to let my newly found auntie hood influence too much the advice that I would give here. But I will speak to you in the same way that I would speak to my little sister, Babe, you're a young babe. You're actually 19. And he, too, is also young. And having a kid a year older than 20, wow. Bringing a child into this world, especially with somebody that is your ex girlfriend, is a huge stressor. It's a big responsibility, but it's also a huge stressor. And I think I can very much empathize with the fact that. That this being a stressful time for him, he might be in a bit of confusion. He might not necessarily know what he wants.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

Seek clarity. Where does he stand? Exactly what you said. Don't be playing with. Listen, you don't need to be his support system right now. That doesn't fall on you. That's not necessarily anything to do with you. You're not even his girlfriend.

[Courtney]

He should go make friends.

[Renee]

He should make friends, but also he should go and think about that support coming from inside the house. Quite respectfully. Quite respectfully. He should really think about. About the support coming from inside the house. His actual friends, his family, they all need to rally around him around this particular point in his life. It is not up to you to pick up the slack, whether it be in any kind of support Function, but certainly not as an unnamed girlfriend. Like, there's. There was no clarity from that. It's like, oh, sometimes we're friends or whatnot, but you know, we keep on transgressing boundaries or he keeps on taking it further. There is a certain amount, amount of responsibility that also an accountability that needs to fall on your shoulders in terms of if somebody is showing you repeatedly who they are and if that's confusion, believe them. So ask him outright. Listen, we've been doing this thing for X amount of time you're in this con, this situation. Are you in a headspace to pursue a relationship with me? Do you care about me in the long term? Like, is this something that you want to turn into something? Have that clarity and I think for yourself, understand what it is that you want. Because you've stated that you don't want any baby mama drama. You don't want to be involved in any baby mama relationship. So what are you doing? And I know that it's nice that he loves you. I think experiencing. No, but you know what it is? Do you know what it is? Yeah. Like when you're experiencing loving from somebody, it can be a, a nice feeling. The experience of it can trick you into believing that this is a situation that you should stay in.

[Courtney]

Right.

[Renee]

Don't enable temporary or fleeting experiences to dictate how you're now going to spend a lifetime. Ostensibly with this man. It's nice to be loved. But that's not the only place that you can experience that kind of love. And in fact, you might be able to experience a kind of love that's a little bit less stressful than the situation, especially given you guys age, age, your stage, the situation. Like I don't even know what the situation is with the ex girlfriend. Did they leave things amicably? Do you know what she's like? Like, she will also be a factor in this relationship, whatever it is you want to call it. And I think also for you, sis, I ain't gonna lie to you. Coming out of a situationship and then now pursuing something so soon with somebody who, you know, just broke up with their ex girlfriend and now has found out that she is pregnant. I think the best thing for you to do is actually take a step back. I don't think the proximity is helping you come to a clear enough decision about what you want. And I think having the proximity, sometimes our proximity going back to back with people can really cloud our judgment and cloud what it is we think we want for ourselves. Thinking that it's this situation, but we're actually just experiencing, we're allowing our experiences to dictate that judgment. So I think you actually need to take a step back. It's not for you to be up in his situation to try and be his bestie, his girl, mate, his girlfriend, whatever. Especially without the clarity or the label or the confirmation. And I think you need to take a step back as a young lady because you are a very young lady. Ah, 19, 13. Not even 20, you know, 20 something. 19. Out of no judgment, but genuinely out of concern for your future and the fact that you could be putting a lot of things in jeopardy. Your health, happiness and well being being one of them. But also just a situation that's so fraught with such tension and stress. I think you need to take a major step back and allow them to sort out all of this that's going on. Because girl, a baby is a big responsibility and within our communities it is so important that we treat having children as such. It is a massive responsibility. It is something that requires a lifelong commitment. And if he is currently going through this confusion with you, having a now life, lifelong commitment is going to continue to add stress to the situation that you have with him. So quite frankly, I would say step back. Babe, I am glad that you experienced. I'm not even glad shah you experienced.

[Courtney]

What you experienced a life experience.

[Renee]

It's a life experience. You've had the learnings, you've had the experience. I think gain some clarity, step back, make a decision a little bit later down the line. But Omar, you're actually a young babe and the world is not in scarcity mode when it comes to men.

[Courtney]

Yeah. Oh, believe it, believe it.

[Renee]

I know it's so hard. And people will tell you based on their experiences that that is not the case.

[Courtney]

Men are out here.

[Renee]

Men are out here in abundance. And I just think that at this particular stage in your life you could benefit from taking a step back.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Renee]

And also focusing on yourself for a bit as well. Especially being in almost back to back situations with men. I think take some time out out for you facts.

[Courtney]

All the best, my dear.

[Renee]

Hey, all the best. It's not easy. But sisters, if you have experienced such or if you have any alternative views or if you agree with us, we would love to hear your thoughts as well. Drop it like it's hot in the YouTube comments. And now also the Spotify comments. That's really exciting. We've been getting you guys popping up.

[Courtney]

You know, it's crazy. So I was looking at the stats, you know 90 of people listen to us on Apple podcasts.

[Renee]

Stop.

[Courtney]

Don't know what to tell you.

[Renee]

Apple.

[Courtney]

Apple.

[Renee]

But you know what? I. I kind of hear it because the sound quality on Apple is fantastic. Really? Apparently. Yeah. Especially when it comes to music.

[Courtney]

Are the creators of podcasts? Really? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Renee]

And we've been Apple podcast listeners.

[Courtney]

I don't know if they have interaction features though.

[Renee]

Yeah, I don't think.

[Courtney]

Yeah, I don't. I don't think so. Apple. R D, R D, R D. Yeah.

[Renee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And give us a ring. We can help you with that.

[Courtney]

I'm sure we can.

[Renee]

Yeah, we could find some way to come to mutual mutually beneficial arrangement.

[Courtney]

But yeah, leave. Leave your comments for sure. We might even post this on The Instagram says 100,000 of y'all wouldn't be on there. So we should get some advice.

[Renee]

We can find somebody to give you some advice somewhere.

[Courtney]

Somewhere. Facts. But yeah. This is the end of the episode, guys. Crazy.

[Renee]

Wow.

[Courtney]

It's nice to be back.

[Renee]

Yeah, this has been nice. This has been energizing. We've missed you guys.

[Courtney]

So we actually have. Please drop a comment. We'll be there talking to you guys. And yeah, just check in with us, man. We've missed you guys for real. Pre recording is cool because it is efficient, but it just feels like you lose touch with your people.

[Renee]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

But yeah, new things are on the horizon, guys.

[Renee]

Yeah, keep your eyes peeled.

[Courtney]

Keep your eyes. Open them to see what's coming.

[Renee]

You're right.

[Courtney]

Sign up to the remaining list on to my sisters dot com, which may actually be changing so very soon. So keep working on things, guys. Yeah, we're coming brand new in year four. We are moving brand new in year four in alignment with what God is doing. So yeah, definitely sign up to the mailing list. Follow us on socials to my sisterhood. Join a hundred thousand people on Instagram and get us to a hundred thousand on Tick Tock if you can. We're actually almost there. Subscribe to the YouTube channel, follow the podcast on the podcast streaming platform and rate us 5 stars because we need it. I've missed. Yeah, rate us five stars. Yeah, guys, check them.

[Renee]

Buy the book as well.

[Courtney]

Oh, yeah, yeah, we have a book, if you didn't know.

[Renee]

It's coming up to Christmas time and I think the best gift that you can give is the gift of community.

[Courtney]

Yeah. Bless somebody with the book on how to build their female friendships. I actually bumped into someone at the end of an event who was like, my sister bought me your book and it's been such a blessing to me. So, yeah, guys, be a blessing to somebody. But, yeah, guys, we love you. We really do. And we are here. We're as dedicated as ever to the work set before us for women around the world.

[Renee]

Hello.

[Courtney]

Somebody shout out to the kids of the Bright Future Academy. You have a bright future indeed.

[Renee]

Amen to that.

[Courtney]

And we love you guys. We really do. So, as always, keep glowing and growing. Peace out. Cute. Oh, Mr. Girlies, man.

[Renee]

I knew, right?

[Courtney]

So good, so good, so good.

[Renee]

Perfect gifts.

[Courtney]

We've got them at Nordstrom Rack stores now. Ugg, Nike, Barefoot Dreams, Kate Spade, New York and more. Finds everything on their wish list all in one place.

[Renee]

Steve Madden.

[Courtney]

Yes, please. It's perfect.

[Renee]

Did we just score the greatest gifts of all time? Yeah. Head to your Nordstrom Rack store to score great brands, great prices, the greatest.

[Courtney]

Gifts of all time.