Podcast Summary: "What They Don't Tell Women About Achieving Unshakable Confidence"

Podcast Information:

• Title: To My Sisters
• Hosts: Courtney Daniella Boateng & Renée Kapuku
• Guest: Tiwalola Ogunlesi (Tiwa), Confidence Coach, Author, and Founder of Confident and Killing It
• Release Date: February 23, 2025

Introduction: Embracing Confidence

In this empowering episode of To My Sisters, hosts Courtney Daniella Boateng and Renée Kapuku welcome Tiwalola Ogunlesi, affectionately known as Tiwa, a renowned confidence coach and the mind behind the organization Confident and Killing It. The conversation is centered around unearthing the often-overlooked facets of building unshakable confidence for women navigating the complexities of adulthood and sisterhood.

Tiwa’s Journey: From Engineering to Empowerment

[00:36] Courtney sets the stage by highlighting Tiwa's expertise as a confidence coach. Tiwa candidly shares her initial career struggles, revealing that despite graduation with aspirations in fashion—a field influenced by her parents in Nigeria—she faced 50 rejections before landing a role at an engineering company in Oxford. This experience was a pivotal moment for Tiwa, as she encountered profound dissatisfaction and emotional turmoil, leading her to question her career path and self-worth.

[04:00] Tiwa: "I started applying for every single job under the sun... After like 50 rejections, the first job that said yes to me was an engineering company in Oxford."

Tiwa's time in Oxford exposed her to a "very white organization," intensifying her feelings of isolation and leading to daily emotional distress. This period of her life became the crucible in which her purpose was forged, eventually giving birth to her mission of empowering women to recognize their inherent worth and confidence.

The Confidence Equation: Strengths, Passions, and Values

Tiwa introduces her Confidence Equation, a practical framework grounded in self-awareness and intentional growth. She emphasizes that confidence is a practice, not an innate trait.

[16:12] Tiwa: "Confidence is a practice. It is not something you're just born with."

The equation consists of three core components:

1. Know Your Strengths: Tiwa stresses the importance of recognizing one's abilities rather than focusing on insecurities. She shares insights on how many women are more aware of their limitations than their strengths, leading to a "limitational lens" that undermines confidence.

   [15:44] Tiwa: "When you know your strengths, you know, I actually, I deserve to be here."

2. Identify Your Passions: Understanding what "sets your heart on fire" is crucial. Tiwa recounts her realization that true passion cannot be fabricated; it emerges naturally when engaged in meaningful activities.

   [17:18] Tiwa: "You cannot overthink your way into clarity. You have to explore and take action and try things."

3. Align with Your Values: Tiwa underscores the necessity of aligning actions with personal values to achieve fulfillment. By integrating her values—spirituality, impact, creativity, and wellness—into her daily tasks, she ensures that her work remains purposeful and satisfying.

   [20:04] Tiwa: "I've aligned all my to-do lists with my core values. So every time I'm showing up, I'm honoring my values, and that gives me a sense of fulfillment."

Together, these elements form what Tiwa calls the "Power Circle," a harmonious intersection that fosters deep, sustainable confidence.

Faith and Confidence: Embracing Godfidence

A significant portion of the discussion delves into the intersection of faith and confidence, a concept Tiwa terms "Godfidence." She narrates a transformative experience during a Bible study that reshaped her understanding of self-worth through her relationship with God.

[22:55] Tiwa: "I am a royal daughter of Christ, that when he sees me, all he sees is goodness."

Tiwa explains that true confidence is bolstered by spiritual maturity and an unwavering belief in God's promises. She draws parallels between battling internal doubts and facing external adversities, advocating for a mindset fortified by faith.

[28:17] Tiwa: "The first thing we do when things are going wrong is blame God. Oh, hello somebody."

This revelation led Tiwa to prioritize her spiritual life, recognizing that resting in God's presence is foundational to maintaining confidence, especially during challenging seasons.

Seasons of Life: Balancing Grind and Rest

Tiwa introduces the concept of life's seasons, distinguishing between periods of intense effort (grind) and essential rest. She argues against the pervasive hustle culture, advocating instead for a balanced approach where rest is seen as productive and necessary for overall well-being.

[37:02] Renee: "Because rest almost feels like a waste of time."

[37:05] Tiwa: "You are productive. Productivity is about knowing what matters and prioritizing that."

She elaborates on various forms of rest—physical, mental, social, spiritual, and financial—and their roles in nurturing confidence. By redefining productivity to include rest aligned with personal values, Tiwa encourages women to view downtime not as laziness but as an integral component of a fulfilling life.

[46:29] Tiwa: "Rest is productive. It's so simple. The idea that we would feel guilty about doing something that nourishes our body."

Tiwa also highlights the importance of work-life integration over mere balance, suggesting that weaving different aspects of life together creates a sustainable and enriching existence.

[53:27] Tiwa: "It's work-life integration instead of work-life balance. Because you can have it all, but not at the same time."

Empowering Words: Final Wisdom

In her concluding remarks, Tiwa imparts a powerful message about resilience and self-worth. She encourages women to embrace their inherent value and recognize that life's challenges are shaping them into stronger, more confident individuals.

[55:37] Tiwa: "Your work is never wasted... Life happens in seasons. So if you are in a season of waiting, don't be disheartened."

She reinforces the idea that patience and trust in God's plan are essential during times of personal growth and transformation. Tiwa's insights serve as a testament to the strength found in embracing both one's spiritual beliefs and personal aspirations.

Conclusion: Continuing the Journey

Hosts Courtney and Renée express deep admiration for Tiwa's wisdom and encourage listeners to engage with her work, including her book "Confident and Killing It" and her organization. They reiterate the podcast's mission to foster a community of empowered women committed to holistic wellness and growth.

[58:14] Courtney: "Be sure to get a copy of Tiwa's book... Follow T everywhere."

The episode closes with heartfelt goodbyes, leaving listeners inspired to embark on their own journeys toward unshakable confidence, grounded in self-awareness, faith, and intentional rest.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• [04:00] Tiwa: "I started applying for every single job under the sun... After like 50 rejections, the first job that said yes to me was an engineering company in Oxford."

• [16:12] Tiwa: "Confidence is a practice. It is not something you're just born with."

• [17:18] Tiwa: "You cannot overthink your way into clarity. You have to explore and take action and try things."

• [20:04] Tiwa: "I've aligned all my to-do lists with my core values. So every time I'm showing up, I'm honoring my values, and that gives me a sense of fulfillment."

• [22:55] Tiwa: "I am a royal daughter of Christ, that when he sees me, all he sees is goodness."

• [28:17] Tiwa: "The first thing we do when things are going wrong is blame God. Oh, hello somebody."

• [37:05] Tiwa: "You are productive. Productivity is about knowing what matters and prioritizing that."

• [46:29] Tiwa: "Rest is productive. It's so simple. The idea that we would feel guilty about doing something that nourishes our body."

• [53:27] Tiwa: "It's work-life integration instead of work-life balance. Because you can have it all, but not at the same time."

• [55:37] Tiwa: "Your work is never wasted... Life happens in seasons. So if you are in a season of waiting, don't be disheartened."

Final Thoughts:

This episode of To My Sisters with Tiwa is a compelling exploration of the multifaceted journey toward building unshakable confidence. Through personal anecdotes, actionable strategies, and profound spiritual insights, Tiwa empowers women to redefine their self-worth, embrace their unique strengths, and navigate life's seasons with grace and resilience. Listeners are left with practical tools and heartfelt encouragement to continue their own paths of growth and self-discovery.