Podcast Summary: To My Sisters

Episode: Why Are Christian Husbands Embarrassing Their Wives Online? Let's Talk Privacy, Patriarchy & Power
Hosts: Courtney Daniella Boateng & Renée Kapuku
Date: October 26, 2025

Episode Overview

In this candid and passionate episode, Courtney and Renée return from a podcast hiatus and dive straight into a growing online trend: Christian (and non-Christian) husbands embarrassing their wives online, and the broader implications for privacy, patriarchy, and power in modern marriages—especially those placed in the spotlight of social media. They reflect on transparency vs. oversharing, who carries the burden of public marital mistakes, and how women can reclaim their power and redefine what it means to be cherished within a relationship.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Personal Updates & Reflections on Sisterhood

• Courtney's Milestones: Courtney shares joyful updates about her wedding and buying a house ([02:23]–[05:54]), underscoring the importance of sisterhood, family support, and community during transitions.
  • "I think the whole process showed me the beauty of sisterhood... wow, I am loved. I am really loved." — Courtney [07:16]
• The hosts reflect on the transformative power of love, deep friendships, and the personal growth interwoven into marriage.

2. Listener Dilemma: Faith & Relationship Compatibility

• A listener dilemma explores dating across different stages of faith ([13:00]–[27:54]).
  • Courtney recounts her own experience leaving a relationship for her faith:
    "I literally told him, 'I'm leaving you for Jesus.'" — Courtney [20:29]
• The hosts stress the necessity of alignment in faith-based relationships and the sacrificial aspect of spiritual growth—even if it means letting go of a good relationship.
  • "You want to be drawn closer to him. So…if you do end up leaving, you have to be content with your deeper relationship with Christ and not necessarily have your eyes on the hill for this man that's gonna come." — Courtney [21:36]
• Renée cautions against self-righteousness when choosing faith over romance and reminds listeners of the importance of humility and compassion for former partners.

3. The Rise (and Risks) of Relationship Transparency Online

• Courtney and Renée critically discuss why so many relationships—particularly Christian marriages—are shared online, and the backlash this transparency can bring ([28:24]–[66:56]).
• Courtney observes:
  • "If you share something about yourself, people have that information about you. Privacy is so important. The Bible tells us we should aspire to live a quiet life." — Courtney [35:07]
  • "What causes the outrage…is knowing that, knowing the patriarchal society that we live in, it is a husband's duty to cover his wife." — Courtney [39:29]
• Key points include:
  • Women often bear the brunt of public marital issues, even when the husband's actions are at fault.
  • Oversharing for “ministry” can be premature if your marriage isn’t strong enough to withstand scrutiny:
    • "Work on the ministry of your marriage before you birth a marriage ministry." — Courtney [49:09]
  • The danger of using marriage as an idol or social proof instead of prioritizing its quality and health.
  • Social media can be a hostile environment, and unfiltered honesty doesn’t always serve couples or viewers well:
    • "There are some things that are just too raw to be digested on the internet." — Renée [46:20]
    • "We can't just expect that whatever we put out will be digested well." — Renee [47:06]

4. Patriarchy, Power, and Protective Partnership

• Courtney flips the narrative, insisting that the quality of a marriage is reflected by the character of the man, not the performance of the wife ([60:24]–[64:25]):
  • "The quality of a marriage is displayed in the character of the man and not the performance of the wife... I can go out and say my husband is the best man ever, but if that man is standing on a street corner telling, stealing, destroying and killing, I ain’t got nothing." — Courtney [60:24]
  • "Your job [as a husband] is to make sure that your wife is covered... especially when you're stepping into the limelight." — Courtney [39:29]
• Both hosts urge women to recognize their value and stop internalizing responsibility for the image of their marriage:
  • "I have never seen a crown polish itself. That man needs to get to work to make sure you are representative of the type of man he actually is. You are the measure of the manner of man that man is." — Courtney [63:03]
  • "You absolutely cannot afford to be with somebody that takes lightly the name of his wife." — Renée [60:08]

5. Accountability, Social Commentary, and the Call for Change

• The hosts call out deflection of critique and the trope of 'everyone’s just jealous':
  • "If the world is the ones critiquing you based on standards that are in your Bible, that proves they know a little something more than you. Oh, and that should cause you to be a bit worried." — Courtney [56:48]
• They point out how faith often becomes conflated with patriarchal control and misplaced standards, and urge Christian couples to be cautious about what they present, and to accept pruning (critique) as part of spiritual growth:
  • "As soon as you shift your mind to believe 'I am the prize'... you are the prize. — Courtney [63:03]

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Courtney on Transparency:
  "People cannot stand the oversharing anymore because, especially because it makes the woman look bad. Even if it's the man that's displaying the bad behavior, it's the woman that looks bad because she's the one who has been either embarrassed, thrown under the bus..." [35:48]

• Renée on Media & Accountability:
  "I believe a lot of people, we just need media training. I don't know what happened to having publicists, media training... There's some things that are just too raw to be digested on the Internet." [46:20]

• On the "Jealousy" Defense:
  "If the world is the ones critiquing you based on standards that are in your Bible, that proves they know a little something more than you..." — Courtney [56:48]

• On Marriage & Patriarchy:
  "We have misconstrued because of decades and decades of subliminal teaching that God just desires for us to be married and that he doesn't care about the condition of our marriage." — Courtney [54:35]

Key Timestamps

• Major Life Updates & Sisterhood Reflection: [02:23]–[07:40]
• Listener Dilemma: Interfaith Relationships: [13:00]–[27:54]
• Main Topic Intro (Christian Husbands Embarrassing Wives Online): [28:24]
• Courtney on Privacy & Public Scrutiny: [35:07]–[39:29]
• Patriarchy and Public Image: [39:29]–[44:15]
• Renée on Media Training & Oversharing: [46:20]
• Marriage as Ministry—Too Soon?: [49:09]–[53:09]
• Defending the "Jealousy" Narrative & Internalized Patriarchy: [54:02]–[59:17]
• Holding Men Accountable, Women as "Crown": [60:24]–[64:25]

Tone & Style

As always, Courtney and Renée deliver their message with warmth, authenticity, wit, and a clear sense of sisterhood. They challenge toxic norms, make space for accountability, and encourage their listeners with practical wisdom, humor, and deep faith.

Final Thoughts

This episode is a must-listen for anyone considering how much of their personal life to share online, especially in faith communities. The hosts compellingly argue for discernment, demand accountability, and uplift women to see themselves as worthy of honor and care—in private and public alike.

“Ladies, we desire for you to be in a healthy and happy relationship or marriage that aligns with God's will for you. His perfect will. Maybe you are God's last born daughter. You are a princess. And you need to treat yourself like it. Don't let society speak you out of that.” — Courtney [66:04]