Podcast Summary: Today, Explained – “Who is the modern American dad?”
Date: September 28, 2025
Hosts: Jonathan Hill & Faith Hill (Vox)
Episode Overview
This episode tackles the evolving identity of the American dad. With surprising new statistics showing more young men than women now aspire to parenthood, the episode explores shifting cultural definitions of fatherhood, representations of dads in media, the rise of single fathers by choice, and the emotional and social challenges faced by contemporary dads. Through expert interviews, personal stories, and deep reflection, the episode dissects how masculinity, care, and fatherhood are being renegotiated in today’s society.
Main Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Shifting Concept of Fatherhood (01:04–03:22)
- Phil Maciak, professor of “Dad Culture Studies” at Washington University, outlines how the notion of the ‘dad’ is a relatively modern construct, continually evolving in response to cultural forces.
- “The idea of the dad and the idea of fatherhood is constantly evolving.” — Phil Maciak (01:04)
- Post-WWII America and suburbia shaped the dominant ‘dad’ image, reinforced by television.
- Media has long reflected and molded archetypes of American fatherhood.
2. TV Dads & Cultural Evolution (03:22–08:31)
- Phil Maciak traces major archetypes of TV dads and what they represent:
- 1950s: Ward Cleaver (Leave it to Beaver) — “the archetypal 50s dad of suburbia.” (04:16)
- 1970s: Archie Bunker (All in the Family) — generational and ideological clashes about masculinity.
- 1980s: Cliff Huxtable (Cosby Show) & Stephen Keaton (Family Ties) — reflective of feminist reshaping of fatherhood, co-parenting, and supporting wives’ careers.
- “They support their wives’ careers. They take an active role in co-parenting.” — Phil Maciak (05:55)
- 21st century: Dads as antiheroes (Tony Soprano, Walter White, Don Draper) who grapple with the meaning of fatherhood amid personal flaws and identity crises.
- Today’s archetype is fraught: The “supportive dad” model is challenged by a return to “retro-patriarchal” ideals found in the manosphere (e.g., Andrew Tate’s influence).
- “Fatherhood is about giving orders… sternness… rather than flexibility, adaptability. So it's a weird time for pop culture dads.” — Phil Maciak (07:33)
3. Gen Z & The Future of Dadding (08:31–09:53)
- Gen Z students view “dad” as both an adjective (“dad bod”, “dad friend”) and a role.
- Less shaped by sitcom models; more open, reflective, and flexible in their ideas about what fatherhood means.
4. The Rise of Single Fathers by Choice (12:14–19:47)
- Faith Hill (The Atlantic) details a growth in single men—often in their 40s—choosing to pursue fatherhood solo.
- The pandemic has led many to reprioritize life goals and pursue parenthood independently.
- “They came out of that time just really wanting to make families before it was too late.” — Faith Hill (13:10)
- For many men, fatherhood offers meaning and connection amid wider questions about masculinity.
- The pandemic has led many to reprioritize life goals and pursue parenthood independently.
- Cultural expectations often exclude men from nurturing roles or question their motives.
- “Men are not necessarily raised to be tender or prioritizing care…but they had to sort of get used to thinking of themselves that way.” — Faith Hill (15:47)
- Adoption agencies and fertility systems remain skeptical or inaccessible to single men, and a prominent double standard persists regarding men’s and women’s desire for children.
- “Often that's because people just kind of don't assume that men are natural parents.” — Faith Hill (18:05)
- Organizations like Men Having Babies advocate for single fathers seeking support and resources.
5. Real Dads Speak: Parenting, Friendship, and Loneliness (21:11–28:00)
- Listeners call in about fatherhood’s impact on their social lives:
- Many dads lose friends or feel isolated due to changing priorities and time constraints.
- “Being a father has changed my friendships. I'm the only father in my close friend group… I think a lot about the trade offs.” — Caller (21:26)
- Dad-focused social groups sometimes feel transactional (e.g., upsold on “ice bath” classes) or forced compared to mom’s networks.
- “I envy how organic things seem with the moms and how forced and transactional everything is with the men.” — Caller (22:01)
- U.S. men under 35 are the loneliest demographic, per Gallup.
- Many dads lose friends or feel isolated due to changing priorities and time constraints.
- Zach Rosen (Slate’s Care and Feeding) discusses these challenges:
- Parenting can crowd out pre-existing social routines and deepen isolation.
- Women/moms often maintain robust support networks (multiple text groups, playdates), sometimes planning their partners’ social engagements.
- “My wife has 40,000 text threads going … she is just constantly texting people, checking in on people.” — Zach Rosen (26:11)
- Men often require an activity (“shoulder to shoulder” interaction) to facilitate connection—ex. US Men's Sheds, activity-based dad groups.
- Some men preserve life-long friendships via Discord or gaming, but many do not.
- Emotional growth: Parenting can promote greater vulnerability and emotional openness, “softening” dads.
- “It's rare for me to have a day that I don't cry at this point. ... I’ve always been kind of a what you might call a soft man. But, like, parenting has just made me even softer. And so I’m embracing it.” — Zach Rosen (26:57)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
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On the TV dad archetype:
- “He works all day, comes home at night, but when he comes home, it's very clear that his role as a father, his role as a dad is of central importance to him.” — Phil Maciak, on Ward Cleaver (04:29)
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On fatherhood giving purpose:
- “The most rewarding, greatest thing that ever happened in my life has also led to losing a lot of friendships that maybe were just surface level or just a different season of my life.” — Caller (01:52)
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On masculinity and culture:
- “We're in this time period where what it means to be a man culturally is shifting rapidly.” — Faith Hill (01:08)
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On judgment and gender roles:
- “My father-in-law frequently referred to me as Mr. Mom… making a judgment about what he views as being effeminate if you’re involved in taking care of every aspect of your kids’ lives.” — Caller (17:05)
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On the emotional side of fatherhood:
- “Can I just have five more hugs?” — Zach Rosen recounting a tender moment with his son (27:26)
- “So then I cried. I'm like, oh my God, how lucky am I that I got to start my day like this?” — Zach Rosen (27:29)
Timestamps for Important Segments
- Introduction to the Modern Dad and Surprising Stats: 01:04–01:52
- Phil Maciak on the Evolution of TV Dads: 03:01–08:31
- Gen Z’s Perspective on Fatherhood: 08:31–09:53
- Single Fathers by Choice: 12:14–19:47
- Listener Voices & Friendship Loss: 21:11–22:19
- Zach Rosen on Parental Loneliness & Male Friendships: 22:19–27:57
- Reflections on Emotional Growth in Fatherhood: 26:57–27:57
Conclusion
This episode presents a nuanced portrait of American fatherhood in flux: shaped by cultural traditions and media, challenged by changing gender roles and expectations, and navigated emotionally and logistically in ways previous generations may not have recognized. Whether as single parents by choice, partners in dual-career families, or men struggling with friendship and vulnerability, the modern American dad is negotiating his role in new—and sometimes uncomfortable—terrain.
