Podcast Summary: "Why Does Dating Suck for Guys?"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Today, Explained
• Host/Author: Vox
• Description: Today, Explained is Vox's daily news explainer podcast. Hosts Sean Rameswaram and Noel King guide listeners through the most important stories of the day.
• Episode: Why Does Dating Suck for Guys?
• Release Date: March 9, 2025

Introduction

In the March 9, 2025 episode of Today, Explained, Vox delves into the pressing issue of why dating has become increasingly challenging for men, particularly those in their 20s and 30s. Hosted by Sean Rameswaram and Noel King, the episode examines the multifaceted obstacles men face in the modern dating landscape, drawing insights from experts, personal anecdotes, and statistical data.

Current State of Dating for Men

The episode opens with a question from a listener named Rohan, who inquires about the declining rates of dating among individuals in their 20s and 30s. Host Jonathan Hill introduces Ali Volbe, a senior reporter at Vox, who highlights a stark gender disparity:

"66% of young men between the ages of 18 and 29 are currently single, but only 34% of young women in the same age bracket are single." ([00:55])

Producer Hadi Miwagdi shares his personal frustrations with dating apps, emphasizing the exhausting nature of modern dating:

"These dating apps really suck. [...] And on top of all of that, I've heard so often that women have decided to quit dating." ([01:25])

Challenges in Online Dating

Ali Volbe discusses the financial barriers imposed by monetized dating platforms:

"Monetization of dating apps is not just a nuisance. It's actually can be financially exclusive." ([04:25])

She recounts a personal experience where she was ghosted after arranging a video date:

"I had texted her saying, 'hey, look, just want to check if, you know, I'm in this lobby.' [...] She was ghosting me." ([05:02])

Ali attributes such experiences to the lack of accountability inherent in online interactions:

"It's very easy to kind of escape accountability." ([06:08])

Societal and Cultural Factors

The conversation shifts to societal stereotypes and their impact on dating dynamics. Ali points out:

"We live in a society that obviously has certain demographic patterns, and one of those patterns is that Asian men tend to be sort of emasculated, and I think black women tend to be unfortunately, deemed as less desirable." ([04:33])

Additionally, the episode touches on the influence of the MeToo movement, which, while essential for addressing predatory behavior, has inadvertently caused some men to refrain from assertiveness in dating:

"They don't want to come off as like a quote unquote bad guy, that they're just sort of opting out of it altogether." ([14:17])

Shifting Dating Standards

Corey, a participant in a men's group, explores the evolving expectations in dating:

"Men prioritize sex, romance, and physical attraction more than women, while women emphasize empathy, monogamy, and independence." ([13:58])

He further explains how modern communication trends contribute to the erosion of genuine connections:

"We stare at our phones when we're on public transportation or while we're waiting in line for coffee." ([11:53])

Solutions and Advice

Seeking solutions, the hosts and guests discuss various strategies to alleviate the dating struggles faced by men.

Men's Support Groups: Producer Hadi Miwagdi attends a men's relationship group in Austin, where older men share their experiences and advice:

"Find a men's group, even if it's a group of older guys, and go learn from them because they've all made mistakes that you don't need to make." ([09:52])

Confidence and Self-Acceptance: Charlie McKeever, a confidence coach, emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and authenticity:

"I need to fully own and be me, the person that I really want to become interested in first, not only right, but first is myself." ([25:25])

He elaborates on shifting from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance:

"He'll see things from the perspective of abundance, not from a place scarcity and lack." ([22:22])

Practical Exercises: Ali suggests role-playing exercises to help men practice positive expressions of interest:

"Go through, like, role play exercises and really just showcase. Like, this is what, a positive expression of interest." ([08:56])

Engaging in Shared Activities: Corey advises men to participate in activities they enjoy to meet like-minded individuals:

"Apps are fine, but I think it's a tool. You got to go to places where there are people and you're doing an activity that you like." ([16:00])

Conclusion

The episode wraps up by highlighting the need for ongoing conversations about men's dating challenges and previews an upcoming discussion on Gen X women's dating lives. The collective insights underscore that while the modern dating scene presents significant hurdles for men, solutions rooted in self-improvement, community support, and authentic connection offer a path forward.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Ali Volbe ([04:33]): "We live in a society that obviously has certain demographic patterns, and one of those patterns is that Asian men tend to be sort of emasculated, and I think black women tend to be unfortunately, deemed as less desirable."

• Rohan ([02:09]): "There are a lot of terminology that is being thrown around, like this kind of popular rhetoric of, like, become a high value individual."

• Charlie McKeever ([22:22]): "He'll see things from the perspective of abundance, not from a place scarcity and lack."

• Corey ([13:58]): "Men prioritize sex, romance, and physical attraction more than women, while women emphasize empathy, monogamy, and independence."

Overall Insights:

• Financial and Accessibility Issues: Monetized dating apps create financial barriers for men seeking connections.

• Societal Stereotypes: Prejudiced perceptions based on race and gender exacerbate dating difficulties.

• Impact of Modern Culture: The decline of in-person socialization and the rise of digital interactions impede genuine connections.

• Emphasis on Self-Improvement: Building self-confidence and authenticity is crucial for improving dating success.

• Community Support: Engaging with men's groups and seeking mentorship can provide valuable guidance and reduce feelings of isolation.

This episode of Today, Explained provides a comprehensive exploration of the challenges men face in the dating world today, offering both statistical analysis and personal narratives to paint a detailed picture of the current landscape.