Why is personal style so hard?

Summary

Today, Explained – Episode Summary: "Why is Personal Style So Hard?"

Release Date: May 4, 2025
Hosts: Sean Rameswaram and Noel King
Network: Vox Media Podcast Network

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Introduction

In this episode of Today, Explained, hosts Sean Rameswaram and Noel King delve into the intricate world of personal style, exploring why defining and maintaining one's unique fashion sense has become increasingly challenging in today's fast-paced, trend-driven society. Through candid conversations and expert insights, the episode unpacks the cultural, economic, and personal factors that complicate the quest for personal style.

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The Struggle to Define Personal Style

Constance Grady, a guest on the show, shares her personal journey in discovering her style. She reflects on the post-lockdown period, highlighting how a year of not dressing for others led to a disconnect with her wardrobe.

"[02:09] Constance Grady: ...once I've had this year of not dressing for other people, I've changed who I am and my clothes haven't changed in a way that will keep up with that."

Constance emphasizes the complexity of aligning one's evolving identity with an outdated wardrobe, leading her to seek a more intentional approach to her clothing choices.

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The Influence of Rapid Trend Cycles

The hosts discuss how the acceleration of trend cycles, driven by fast fashion, has made it harder to maintain a consistent personal style. John Glen Hill notes the shift from seasonal trends to 24-hour cycles, leaving individuals overwhelmed by the constant need to keep up.

"[01:48] John Glen Hill: All this frustration makes sense. It feels like the trend cycle has gone from a season to 24 hours."

This relentless pace not only fuels consumerism but also contributes to textile waste, pushing individuals towards seeking timeless personal styles as a respite from fleeting trends.

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Exploring the Kibbe Style System

Constance Grady introduces the David Kibbe style system, an elaborate method that categorizes individuals based on their body types to guide fashion choices. She likens delving into Kibbe’s system to exploring astrology due to its complexity and esoteric nature.

"[03:36] Constance Grady: ...I fell way down the David Kibbe rabbit hole."

Despite its detailed approach, Constance finds the system both fascinating and exhausting, as it requires constant attention to body shapes and fabric draping, potentially leading to an unhealthy fixation on one's physique.

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Cultural Shifts: Body Positivity and Self-Expression

The conversation shifts to cultural changes over the past decade, particularly the rise of body positivity, body neutrality, and fat acceptance movements. These shifts have redefined the purpose of clothing from merely enhancing physical appearance to serving as a medium for self-expression without adhering to rigid beauty standards.

"[06:35] Constance Grady: ...maybe the point of clothes isn't always to make me look as thin as they possibly can."

This cultural evolution empowers individuals to embrace their unique bodies and express their identities more freely through fashion.

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Economic Factors: Fast Fashion and Sustainability

Constance outlines the economic dynamics underpinning the fashion industry. The dominance of conglomerates like Kering, LVMH, and Richemont has led to a homogenization of styles aimed at mass consumption. Fast fashion exacerbates this by speeding up trend cycles, making it increasingly difficult for consumers to sustain their wardrobes.

"[06:35] Avery Trufelman: ...the trend cycle has sped up so much that it is actually kind of impossible now to keep pace with trends the way you might have been able to 10 or 20 years before."

In response, many are turning towards sustainable fashion practices, seeking longevity and versatility in their clothing to combat the environmental and ethical issues associated with fast fashion.

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The Role of Trend Forecasting Companies

The episode highlights the pivotal role of trend forecasting firms like WGSN in shaping fashion trends. These companies predict consumer preferences, guiding fashion brands in their design and production processes. However, this reliance raises questions about authenticity and consumer autonomy.

"[16:33] Avery Trufelman: ... it's, it's this new sort of layer of the trend question, which is like, are they actually giving us what we want or are we just buying what's there?"

This relationship creates a dynamic where consumers may feel their choices are influenced or dictated by external entities rather than personal preference.

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Audience Questions: Navigating Personal Style

Listeners participate by posing questions about dressing for curvy bodies and the challenges of online shopping. Lakin Carlton, an ethical stylist, advises knowing one's measurements to make informed online purchases, reducing the guesswork and frustration often associated with sizing discrepancies.

"[24:12] John Glen Hill: ...How do your measurements play into what you are going to buy?"
"[24:35] Lakin Carlton: ...knowing your basic measurements... makes a world of difference."

Brian Sacawa, founder of He Spoke Style, reinforces the importance of prioritizing how clothing looks and feels over numerical sizes, encouraging individuals to focus on confidence and comfort.

"[25:32] Brian Sacawa: ...the first question you should ask yourself is, does this look good on me and do I feel good wearing this?"

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Expert Insights: Lakin Carlton and Brian Sacawa

The episode features insights from Lakin Carlton, an ethical stylist, and Brian Sacawa, a menswear expert. They discuss common challenges clients face, such as excessive fast fashion and the desire for foundational wardrobe pieces.

Lakin Carlton emphasizes personalized styling over generic capsule wardrobes, advocating for clothing that aligns with individual preferences and body types rather than one-size-fits-all solutions.

"[22:13] Lakin Carlton: ...the average capsule wardrobe advice usually look like. It's not very helpful to me."

Brian Sacawa highlights the value of classic, versatile pieces in building a sustainable wardrobe, particularly for men, allowing for endless styling possibilities and long-term wardrobe investment.

"[22:13] Brian Sacawa: ...building a classic menswear wardrobe is one of the most sustainable practices that they could have."

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The Impact of the Internet on Personal Style

The hosts explore how the internet has transformed personal style, offering both opportunities and challenges. Lakin Carlton points out that while the vast array of online trends can be overwhelming, those committed to sustainable fashion find the wealth of information and community support beneficial.

"[27:38] Lakin Carlton: ...the trends are moving, but if you are already kind of in this idea of wanting to build something long lasting... it can make it easier but also overwhelming."

Brian Sacawa appreciates the diversity and accessibility the internet provides, allowing individuals to find like-minded communities and resources tailored to their unique style preferences.

"[28:00] Brian Sacawa: ...you can really find what you gravitate towards and you can find your tribe in a way."

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Rapid Fire Segment

In a light-hearted rapid-fire exchange, guests share personal fashion preferences and anecdotes, providing a glimpse into their individual styles and experiences:

• Brian Sacawa mentions a silk blouse and He Spoke Style by Michael Andrews as favorite items.
• Lakin Carlton nostalgically recalls a blouse worn to her first job interview and a cherished high school band T-shirt.

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Conclusion: Embracing Individuality in a Trend-Driven World

The episode concludes by reinforcing the notion that while external factors like trends and industry practices heavily influence personal style, the ultimate goal is to reclaim individuality and self-expression through mindful fashion choices. Hosts encourage listeners to navigate the complex fashion landscape with intention, prioritizing comfort, confidence, and personal satisfaction over fleeting trends.

"[09:28] Constance Grady: ...finding our personal style, we're talking about this kind of dream of finding ways to steal control away from those people and back towards ourselves."

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Final Thoughts

Today, Explained successfully unpacks the multifaceted challenges of defining personal style in the modern age. Through personal stories, expert advice, and thoughtful analysis, the episode offers listeners valuable insights into navigating the ever-evolving world of fashion with authenticity and purpose.

Transcript

[Constance Grady]

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[Avery Trufelman]

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[Constance Grady]

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[Avery Trufelman]

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[Constance Grady]

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[Avery Trufelman]

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[Constance Grady]

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[Avery Trufelman]

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[Constance Grady]

Whether it's that vintage pearl necklace or brand new ruby earrings, a Prada crossbody bag, or classic watches like that Rolex Oyster or that Cartier tank, on ebay.

[Avery Trufelman]

There are no limits to your high standards.

[Constance Grady]

Yeah, ebay the place for new pre loved vintage and rare fashion. Ebay things people love. Yeah.

[John Glen Hill]

How about pants that fit?

[Constance Grady]

This is a journey we're like all taking as a culture.

[John Glen Hill]

This is. Explain it to me. I'm John Glen Hill and we recently asked you what you want to know about personal style and man, so many of you called in to tell us.

[Lakin Carlton]

I have had a lot of trouble.

[Constance Grady]

I think growing up, trying to find.

[John Glen Hill]

Clothes that fit me well and that.

[Constance Grady]

I feel comfortable in.

[John Glen Hill]

I'm 21. I feel like it's been a journey.

[Constance Grady]

To figure out what I like to wear, what I feel comfortable in.

[John Glen Hill]

It's taken me probably like three years. I don't know. Throughout college, my style changed a lot.

[Constance Grady]

I did not know how to dress or figure out what looked good or understand what worked for me, what I liked and felt like.

[Lakin Carlton]

It was just such a frustrating process.

[John Glen Hill]

All this frustration makes sense. It feels like the trend cycle has gone from a season to 24 hours. Also, there were once rules for what to wear. Not anymore. We're supposed to wear what we want now. But what do you do if you don't know what you want to wear? My colleague Constance Grady tried to figure this out.

[Constance Grady]

This is something that I spent most of my life not thinking about at all. I'm pretty normie when it comes to clothes. I'm just like, I will wear my jeans and a T shirt. Tell me what width the jeans are supposed to be and I am good to go. After lockdown. Once I was vaccinated and starting to get out into the world again. I felt like none of my clothes felt right for me anymore. You know, I had all of these, like business casual dresses and leftover skinny jeans. And I just looked at them and I was like, this doesn't seem quite right anymore. Now that I've had this year of not dressing for other people, I've changed who I am and my clothes haven't changed in a way that that will keep up with that. And it was so weird to try to think about getting a whole year's worth of changes done to my wardrobe in one fell swoop, that I ended up feeling like maybe it was time to be more intentional and figure out what I wanted from my clothes. But when I thought about it, I had all these really contradictory desires. You know, I wanted to look thin and also not care about looking thin. I wanted to buy really high quality things and not spend all that much money. I had a lot of desires from my clothes that realistically I didn't think could actually be met by them.

[John Glen Hill]

You had a lot of goals. Where did you start?

[Constance Grady]

Well, once I had decided that this was something I was going to try to be more intentional about, I kept poking through the personal style universe and that's when I fell way down the David Kibbe rabbit hole.

[Brian Sacawa]

I love to help a person transform.

[Constance Grady]

He's this personal stylist who was very big in the 80s and kind of had a renaissance on social media.

[John Glen Hill]

So on TikTok, there's been a trend.

[Constance Grady]

Going around of women talking about their Kibbe body types. Find your Kibbe body type in two minutes.

[John Glen Hill]

We'll start with bone structure.

[Constance Grady]

Let's talk about Kibbe's style IDs and how they relate to the costumes of ever after. And getting into his work is like getting into astrology. Like, you have to learn this really esoteric system with all these weird rules. It's all about the shapes that fabric makes when it's draped over your body and figuring out how to buy clothes that will suit those shapes best and then what kind of style vibe that leads to. Which is very fun for a certain type of personality, which includes me, but does also, I think, get a little exhausting and also leads to fixating on your body in maybe kind of weird ways.

[John Glen Hill]

You, like me, are a millennial. So is it safe to assume that you grew up mainlining Stacy and Clinton on what not to wear also? And I just want to know, do you want our help or do you.

[Constance Grady]

Really like playing dress up?

[John Glen Hill]

Those jeans are ugly.

[Avery Trufelman]

Yeah.

[Constance Grady]

How about pants that fit?

[Avery Trufelman]

I don't know.

[John Glen Hill]

Call me crazy, but it feels like that's an option.

[Constance Grady]

I did watch what not to wear religiously, and I think a big part of the appeal was that it was telling you. Yeah, there are very strict clothing rules here is what they are. And if you follow them, you'll look great. And if you don't follow them, you'll look like an idiot, and we'll all make fun of you on hidden cameras. Right. It really teaches you that there's a correct way to wear, like, your sensible wrap dress and your blazer, and we are going to walk you through what that is.

[John Glen Hill]

So the pendulum has swung. Why has it swung so much? You know, we went from these cinched waists and blazers to wearing, you know, business casual at the club to, you know, I mean, if I go into the office, there is, like a dress up sweatpant that I will wear on occasion. You know, I will wear a pair of jeans. How did we change so much in the span of, like, a couple decades?

[Constance Grady]

Yeah. This is also something where you and I working in digital media is a blessing and a curse for us because I have definitely taken meetings with people who are barefoot at our mutual office. I talked to a bunch of fashion experts about this. I was so fascinated by this question, in part because Clinton and Stacey have swung the other way too. Right. They're reuniting for a new show, and it's called wear whatever the eff you want.

[Avery Trufelman]

I wouldn't necessarily do that show the.

[Constance Grady]

Way we did it back then.

[Avery Trufelman]

I don't think it would work.

[John Glen Hill]

It's also not who I am as a human being.

[Constance Grady]

This is a journey we're, like, all taking as a culture. So I talked to a bunch of fashion experts about this, and I have three reasons for this swing. One that is cultural, one that is economic, and one that is more material. So culturally, over the past 10, 15 years, there's been a lot more space on the Internet for the movements of body positivity, body neutrality, and fat acceptance. I used to be self conscious about my legs, but I've recently realized it's none of my business what people think I look like. You can be who you are, and.

[John Glen Hill]

You can be a fat person, and you can live a full, fulfilling life while being fat.

[Constance Grady]

Do you know what?

[Avery Trufelman]

I've just accepted I'm a big girl.

[Constance Grady]

All of which I think has kind of helped make space for people to think, okay, maybe the point of clothes isn't always to make me look as thin as they possibly can. You know, maybe this can be a place for more joyful self expression. Expression that doesn't involve trying to conform to a very specific standard of beauty. Economically, as fast fashion has taken off, the trend cycle has sped up so much that it is actually kind of impossible now to keep pace with trends the way you might have been able to 10 or 20 years before. So the idea of finding your personal style becomes really attractive in that situation, because it's a way of releasing yourself from the trend cycle and from the textile waste that goes along with it. The final reason I have is more materials based. This is one that comes from Kibby himself, who I cannot escape, which is that around the 1980s, we started to put a lot more elastic in clothing than we used to before. And this has fundamentally changed the way fabric looks on our bodies. So what Kibbe says is that with elastic in our clothing, the silhouette stops being about the externally imposed shape of the clothes on our bodies and starts being about the way our bodies are shaping the clothes we wear. And that means that there's suddenly this huge possibility of what clothes can look like on us that has totally shifted the way that we can even let ourselves think about fashion.

[John Glen Hill]

Okay, Constance, you learned a lot during this whole process about the new rules or the lack of rules we have now. But did you do it? Did you figure out your personal style?

[Constance Grady]

I don't really know that I found my personal style. I learned a lot about the kinds of shapes and colors and fabrics that I like. I think the main thing that I figured out was what fantasy the idea of finding your personal style is serving. For me, I think that fantasy is the idea of having some control over your individuality. Because fashion is a space where the ways in which we lack control over our lives become really clear in such an intimate way. You know, there are all these billionaires deciding what you should wear. There are all these marketers deciding how you should feel about your one human body. There are all these people who will see you every day and make their assumptions about you based on how you look. So I think when we talk about finding our personal style, we're talking about this kind of dream of finding ways to steal control away from those people and back towards ourselves.

[John Glen Hill]

So that's Constance's fashion journey. But what about all those outside forces dictating our style choices? Who's doing that and why are they doing it? We'll find out after we pay a few bills.

[Constance Grady]

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[Brian Sacawa]

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[Constance Grady]

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[Avery Trufelman]

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[Constance Grady]

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[John Glen Hill]

Okay, how would you introduce yourself at like a party?

[Avery Trufelman]

Oh, well, I certainly wouldn't say. I'm a podcaster. That's like the most embarrassing thing you could possibly say, but it is the truth.

[John Glen Hill]

That's Avery Trufelman. She's a fashion writer. And yes, she's also a podcaster. She hosts a show called Articles of Interest. It's about what we we and also why we wear it, how trends happen, and who dictates them. Avery tackles all this and more on her podcast.

[Avery Trufelman]

Why? We either talk about it in this really frivolous way or we talk about it in this super bummer way that just like, oh, there are piles of clothes, you know, in the, in the middle of the desert piling up and you know, either talk about like waste and labor and the horrible historical roots of clothing manufacture or we talk about the frivolous, superficial part of it. And I really was like, oh, there's something in the middle. I think there's a way to look at clothing and look at fashion and look at our desires in the same way we look at food trends or design trends. So I think it's all come from like, skepticism and curiosity. And then the more I learn about it, the more sort of in love with it I fall. It's endlessly fascinating.

[John Glen Hill]

I think something that's been a big through line is trends, you know, where they come from, how one emerges over the other. Can you tell us a little bit about that pipeline? Like, how does that happen?

[Avery Trufelman]

I mean, well, that's a secret sauce, right? Like, if I knew how that worked, I wouldn't be working in podcasting, honey. No, I mean, it's Sort of this, like, alchemical process that people love to wax poetic about. Most high end fashion brands are owned by like three companies. You know, it's either Kering or else LVMH or Richemont. It's not this, like ragtag assemblage of designers kind of doing their own thing. So the fashion space has gotten very, very corporate. And even among whatever mainstream mall brands, a lot of them have these, like parent companies that are traded on the stock market that are looking to just move as many units as they possibly can. And the best way to make sure they move a lot of units is to make stuff that is, to put it indelicately, sort of boring. Like stuff that is not too weird, stuff that people will actually want to wear, stuff that people are interested in. And there are huge livelihoods at stake. This really took off in the 80s. Designers pushed this movement called Frou Frou. Like miniskirts, big shoulders, sort of like very Dallas. Oh, yeah, yeah, Very like power office wear. And it was peddled out to women. And they were like, no, what, are you kidding me? Like, I go to an office, I'm not going to wear this. I'm not going to wear this, like little miniskirt and these big padded shoulders. I need to be taken seriously at board meetings. And no thanks. And so they just didn't buy. And it was this huge moment. A lot of companies, like the bottom fell out of a lot of companies. They lost a lot of sales. And so when people aren't buying, it's a death sentence. It's really, really terrible. So it was this moment where fashion companies were sort of like, well, shit, I guess we have to ask people what they want or, like, figure out. We can't dictate to them what to wear. We have to figure out what they want. And it was the rise of the trend forecasting company where they could pay a service to make something of a guarantee, like, okay, in two years, this is what people will want. And whether or not they obey those tips, I would say most companies consult at least a trend forecasting company because if nothing else, it's a great way to hedge your bets. You know, if. If a unit doesn't sell, you can turn to your boss and be like, well, I was following what WGSN said. You know, I was like making the best, most educated guess I possibly could. Which leads us to this new sort of layer of the trend question, which is like, are they actually giving us what we want or are we just buying what's there? Because If WGSN says, like, this shade of green is in and that's what's in all the shops and we just buy it, are they dictating the trend to us?

[John Glen Hill]

Yeah, that seems like such a bummer. It seems like there's this growing number of people who are refusing to keep up with trends. Does that resistance feel new, or has that been there kind of the whole time?

[Avery Trufelman]

I mean, yeah, and it's part of the push and pull of fashion, right, that people will say, something is in, and then a group of people will be like, no, I resist. And so that's the thing. It's in this dialectic. You can't. You can't win. Like, you're gonna be. If you're resisting the fashion, you're still part of, you know, the movement against it.

[Constance Grady]

Mm.

[Avery Trufelman]

I think it's hard to be too dogmatic. And I also think there's a bit of ignorance in saying, like, I don't follow trends. It's like, come on, honey, you do a little bit. You know, even in the way you wear your hair in the way, you know, there's just, like, your skin care, whatever.

[John Glen Hill]

There's no escape.

[Avery Trufelman]

You live in your time. Yeah.

[John Glen Hill]

There's no escape.

[Avery Trufelman]

And that's a beautiful thing. You live in your time. You live in your world, you live in your community. You can't pretend that you're just a body in a jar, not living in the world. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But I think, yeah, this is part of the difference between shopping and fashion. I think you can observe fashion. I think you can change the clothes. You already have to be more in fashion. You know, you can cut off your shorts, you can embroider a shirt. You can do things that make clothes, keep up with fashion without shopping, and you can observe fashion and know what's in fashion without having to go out and, like, buy it.

[John Glen Hill]

How do economic realities factor into the fashion industry and predictions about what's going to be new? You know, I mean, I can't even fathom what tariff fashion is about to be.

[Avery Trufelman]

Well, I think it'll be interesting. I think a lot of companies, you know, again, because of these big institutions that have to move a lot of product, I think someone who I talked to at sort of a mid tier, mainstream fashion company was telling me that their lines are going to have to be a lot smaller. They can't just make these huge dumps of seasons. They have to start editing and be really specific. And I think to make one brand stand out from another. This might mean that the clothes will have to start being more signature, more interesting. That that's like a best case scenario, which would be nice. Who knows, maybe they just lean into trends and basics and whatever they know will actually move product. I mean, ultimately it's gonna hurt small designers, which is the sad thing. The most interesting creators committed to high quality are probably gonna suffer, but it's gonna make a huge change. It's gonna be, it's gonna be massive.

[John Glen Hill]

Okay, so we've learned where style comes from, but now what do we do with it? How to dress yourself after the break.

[Constance Grady]

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[Constance Grady]

Have you ever gotten a medical bill and thought, how am I ever going to pay for this? This week on Net Worth and Chill, we're tackling the financial emergency that is the American health care system. From navigating insurance nightmares to making sure your emergency fund actually covers those emergencies, we're diving deep into the hidden healthcare costs that no one warns you about. Most hospitals in the US are actually nonprofits, which means they have to have financial assistance or charity care policies. So essentially, if you make below a certain amount, the hospital legally has to waive your medical bill up to a certain percent. Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube.com YourRichBFF.

[Brian Sacawa]

Does this look good on me? And do I feel good wearing this?

[John Glen Hill]

So we know finding our personal style is hard. A lot of it isn't even in our hands, but some of it is. That's what we went to our next two guests about. Two very stylish and very online people who think about this for a living.

[Lakin Carlton]

I'm Lakin Carlton. I go by the Ethical Stylist. I am a stylist with a focus on obviously ethics, sustainability, but also kind of unlearning all of those rules that we've kind of been indoctrinated with.

[Brian Sacawa]

And I'm Brian Sacawa, founder of He Spoke Style. All about classic style with a modern sensibility. Started in 2013 and our mission is to help guys look and feel their best every single day.

[John Glen Hill]

Okay, so, Lagan, I want to start with you. I want to ask you about your clients. So you're a personal stylist. Are there themes that come up when you're talking with a new client who's looking for your services?

[Lakin Carlton]

Most of my clients have been, let's say, fast fashion pilled.

[John Glen Hill]

Say more about that.

[Lakin Carlton]

And they're trying to kind of unpack that. I have a lot of clients that have these huge closets full of just, like, the most terrible clothes that they will agree are now just terrible. Bought impulsively or, you know, chasing some trend, or just all of these things that just add up to this closet full of nothing. And they want to improve their shopping habits, but also make the most of what they do have.

[John Glen Hill]

What about you, Brian? What's the number one thing guys are asking you about?

[Brian Sacawa]

Probably the biggest thing that people ask me is they come looking for basic advice. And along the same lines of what Lakan is saying about building a sustainable wardrobe and getting rid of some things you don't need, I really believe that for guys, building a classic menswear wardrobe is one of the most sustainable practices that they could have. Because we talk about these foundational pieces, they're simple things that can be styled in many different ways. So lots of versatility. And once you get those pieces in your wardrobe, there's any number of things that you can do with them, including, you know, adding your own personal spin on things.

[John Glen Hill]

Like, and what's the first thing you tell someone who's like, oh, my gosh, how do I figure out what to wear?

[Lakin Carlton]

Yeah, I. I have so many clients who just kind of default to black. You know, either it's black jeans, black shoes, black purse. I tell them to try to stop wearing black for a little bit. Just. Just try it. You know, you mentioned Brian, like, the foundational pieces, I actually kind of push back against foundational pieces. I don't think they look the same for everybody. Even my own foundation for my wardrobe. Like, I don't wear jeans. I don't wear pants. So, like, what does the average capsule wardrobe advice usually look like? It's not very helpful to me, and I have a lot of clients that find that to be true for themselves as well.

[Brian Sacawa]

I'm just curious, Lake. And what do you tell them? How to start developing a different type of style or experimenting with stuff?

[Lakin Carlton]

You know, the first thing I do is if they have a lot of graphic tees, right? Is say, okay, what other than jeans can we pair this With. And once they see, oh, that's a great idea, then they can move into, okay, well, if I can wear with this, then why can't I wear it with this? You know, just kind of like, kind of giving them permission to try something else.

[John Glen Hill]

I want to pose a question to y'all that we got from a listener. So someone sent in a voicemail, and it's from a collar, and it's about dressing curvy bodies.

[Constance Grady]

Hi, my name is Janelle. My question is as a plus size girly, how do you know where to shop?

[John Glen Hill]

And when you are shopping, especially online.

[Constance Grady]

How do your measurements play into what you are going to buy? Like, how do you know it's going to look good on you, especially if it's online?

[John Glen Hill]

What's the best way to go about that? Should we be taking measurements and using that to shop or. Yeah. How do you navigate that?

[Lakin Carlton]

100%. I think it's actually wild that we have normalized online shopping to the point that we have and not normalized knowing our basic measurements, because people are just guessing at it, right? And then reading reviews and it's like, okay, you've got their height and weight, but what does that mean? Where do they carry their weight? Is it in the same place as you? I think having those numbers and knowing the measurements of the things you like to wear and the shapes that you like and the shapes that you want to create, having that in mind as you shop, rather than just depending on a couple of pictures and a description makes a world of difference.

[Brian Sacawa]

I would also say in terms of sizing, size is just a number. There has been a lot of people just get so wrapped up in, oh, I should be a size, whatever, you know, myself included, until, you know, recently, I don't care whether I'm wearing a 30 waist or a 32 or a 35. All brands are different. It doesn't matter. The first. The question you should ask yourself is, does this look good on me and do I feel good wearing this? Don't worry about the size. Worry about how it looks on your body, and then you'll feel much better and more confident wearing that.

[John Glen Hill]

Yeah. Okay, I wanna do a rapid fire with you all. This will be really quick. Say the first word or answer that pops up in your mind. Okay. Desert island piece of clothing. So the thing you can't live without.

[Brian Sacawa]

A silk blouse, white linen shirt.

[John Glen Hill]

Favorite brand, Diane von Furstenberg.

[Brian Sacawa]

He spoke Style by Michael Andrews. Bespoke.

[Lakin Carlton]

Wait, can I change my answer?

[John Glen Hill]

Can you wear black with navy?

[Lakin Carlton]

Yeah.

[Brian Sacawa]

Yes.

[John Glen Hill]

Okay. And what is the longest you've held on to one piece of clothing?

[Lakin Carlton]

I have a blouse that I actually wore to my very first job interview that was my grandmother's. It was huge on me then. Now it's a little too small on me now, but I have had it.

[Brian Sacawa]

For about 15 years, 31 years. It's a T shirt that my band in high school made and we wore it.

[Avery Trufelman]

That's not fair.

[Lakin Carlton]

I'm only 32.

[Brian Sacawa]

It's a vintage item.

[John Glen Hill]

I'm curious how you all feel about how the Internet has changed your relationship with fashion. Y'all are both very online. I mean that complimentary. I am, too. Do you think the Internet has made it easier or harder to figure out what your own style actually is?

[Lakin Carlton]

I think if you're still fast fashion pilled, then it can make it a lot harder because it's very much the trends are moving. I have to keep up. But if you are already kind of in this idea of wanting to build something long lasting and that you really love, then it can make it easier but also overwhelming.

[Brian Sacawa]

I think the amount of content and people, different types of people, different types of styles, different platforms that speak to different demographics, I think it's fantastic because there's so much out there now and you can really find what you gravitate towards and you can find your tribe in a way, your style tribe and say, I like that. I like these people. And then what I've found, at least in menswear, is people are generally very, very supportive. The amount of stuff available on the Internet and the way we can kind of section it off for ourselves and curate it to our own taste is a real positive.

[John Glen Hill]

All right. Thanks for explaining this to us, y'all.

[Lakin Carlton]

Thank you for listening.

[Brian Sacawa]

My pleasure.

[Lakin Carlton]

Everybody out there.

[John Glen Hill]

Before we go, thank you for all your calls about personal style and fashion. So we're asking for your help for another upcoming episode. Spring is the season of love and possibility, but it's also the season of allergies. Explain it to Me. Wants to hear your stories of seasonal allergies, your outdoor ones and your indoor ones too. If you suffer from them, call 1-800-618-8545 or send a voice memo to askvox.com that's 1-800-618-8540 or ask vox vox.com this episode was produced by Victoria Chamberlain. It was edited by Jolie Myers, fact checking by Melissa Hirsch and engineering by Matt Billy. Also special thank you to Carla Javier, who helped develop Explain it to Me and who ran our show. Carla, you have been such an amazing colleague and an incredible joy to work with. I can't wait to listen to what you make next. I'm your host, Jonquin Hill. Thanks for listening. Bye.