Can dating reality shows ever be safe?

Summary

Today in Focus – "Can dating reality shows ever be safe?"

Podcast: Today in Focus, The Guardian
Host: Nosheen Iqbal
Guests: Shirin Kale (Guardian Investigations Reporter), Katie Wiesel (Campaigner, Former X Factor contestant)
Date Aired: May 27, 2026
Episode Theme:
An in-depth look at the dark side of dating reality TV, particularly "Married At First Sight UK," focusing on allegations of sexual assault, failures of duty of care, and the broader structural problems of reality TV culture.

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Overview

This episode delves into harrowing recent allegations from "Married at First Sight UK," exploring why reality television repeatedly fails its participants—despite mounting scandals. Host Nosheen Iqbal is joined by Guardian reporter Shirin Kale and campaigner/former reality TV contestant Katie Wiesel to discuss the nature of these allegations, the formats that fuel such risk, the complicit role of broadcasters and viewers, and systemic issues of accountability and aftercare.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Longstanding Appeal and Guilt of Reality TV

• Shirin Kale reflects on her personal love for reality television despite growing unease over its ethics and human cost (00:55–02:24).
  • "My love for reality TV is very much offset by a feeling of guilt, which is that I kind of feel like one of the spectators in the Colosseum sometimes." — Shirin Kale (01:49)

2. The Recent "Married At First Sight UK" Allegations

• Investigation details from BBC Panorama (04:02–04:35):
  • Three women allege non-consensual or exploitative sexual practices.
  • Two anonymous women allege rape by their on-screen husbands during filming.
  • Another reports non-consensual ejaculation, despite prior agreement.
  • One contestant threatened with acid attack for speaking out about abuse.
• Serious concerns about producers’ responses and failure to remove survivors from broadcasts (05:16–06:00).
  • "She would presumably have to watch herself interacting with the man that she alleged had raped her on national television, which I think is absolutely remarkable." — Shirin Kale (05:44)

3. The Duty of Care: Channel 4 and CPL’s Responses

• Channel 4 and CPL repeatedly claim gold-standard welfare systems, but survivors experience devastation and mental health crises (15:00–15:26).
• Channel 4 orders external review and removes the series from streaming after public outcry, admitting the need to "take a second look" (14:22–15:00).
  • "He [Ian Katz, Channel 4 chief content officer] said their distress is clear and for that, of course, I am deeply sorry." — Shirin Kale (14:24)
• The government stated, "these allegations are serious and that there should be consequences for criminality or wrongdoing" (13:39–14:19).

4. The Format — How "Married at First Sight" Works and Evolved

• Early seasons: Documentary style, less manipulation, more about the experiment (07:48–09:42)
• Shift after the Australian version succeeded – more confrontation, couples grouped together to fuel drama (09:59–11:22)
• Contestants sometimes pressured to remain in unhappy or hostile relationships to generate conflict for viewers:
  • "I would characterize what happens...as quite coercive, because...they’re encouraged to stay in the show even when...they don’t even like each other very much. And that is purely so that you can film their arguments." — Shirin Kale (11:42)

5. Systemic Risks and the Limitations of Vetting

• No amount of vetting can fully prevent abuses because the show's structure puts strangers together in intimate, unsupervised settings (15:26–17:56).
  • "I do not think there is any amount of vetting that you can do to protect women from predators...you are putting strangers together in hotel rooms and then leaving them alone there" — Shirin Kale (16:29)

6. Manipulation, Coercion, and the Encouragement of Conflict

• Producers intentionally match incompatible or dramatic couples to fuel drama (18:51–19:03).
• When couples resist intimacy or want to leave, they’re pressured to "try to make it work" for the good of filming (19:06–20:27).
  • "I would honestly describe this as a process of gaslighting." — Shirin Kale (19:06)

7. Comparison to Other Reality TV Scandals and the Question of Aftercare

• The episode references other high-profile scandals:

  • X Factor experiences (Katie Wiesel, 20:29) — bullied by tabloids, poor mental health support, lack of accredited welfare staff.
  • Lucy Spraggon's case: Her sexual assault was hidden from the public; she was said to be "ill" instead (30:41–31:16).

• Survivors’ needs after TV are routinely unmet; many suffer depression, struggle to reintegrate into normal life, or are left isolated in a "liminal space" — not famous enough to thrive, but too famous to be anonymous (28:04–29:47).

8. Is Reform Possible? Nature of the Genre

• Some formats (e.g. Bake Off, gentler Love Island) have introduced more robust care and reduce aggressive confrontation, but shows built on conflict are structurally resistant to change (28:14–31:45).
  • "There is no reality TV without conflict. And the most profitable shows are the shows that can reliably reproduce conflict… Married at First Sight is one of those shows and I think this is why this has happened." — Shirin Kale (32:45)
• Alcohol consumption has been reduced, and there is more public language around consent and boundaries. However, the core issue of conflict remains (31:45).

9. Lessons, Warnings, and Possible Futures

• These formats are too profitable and adapting only at the margins; cancellation unlikely except in the most high-profile cases (33:08–33:29).
  • "It's too profitable to be cancelled...Why on earth would they kill the golden goose? That's just the reality of reality TV." — Shirin Kale (33:08)
• Katie Wiesel’s advice to would-be participants: Know your rights, insist on legal advice, and understand the risks. If the production pushes back, "take that as a blessing in disguise" (25:29–25:37).

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Memorable Quotes

• "As a viewer, I’m complicit in this too. I’ve enjoyed the conflict… Having watched these shows for my entire adult life, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I don’t think you can really make this sausage ethically, you know."
  — Shirin Kale (01:49)
• "One example that really stood out was an on screen husband threatening to have someone throw acid in his on screen wife's face if she told anyone about his alleged abuse...But it did not [trigger an immediate shutdown]."
  — Shirin Kale (04:35)
• "I do not think there is any amount of vetting that you can do to protect women from predators because we know that there are abusive men out there in the world… You’re putting strangers together in hotel rooms and then leaving them alone."
  — Shirin Kale (16:29)
• "This is intentional. Right? They need conflict, otherwise no one’s going to watch the show."
  — Shirin Kale (18:51)
• "I would honestly describe this as a process of gaslighting. And it’s not just women, you know…they’re encouraged to try and make the relationship work. And I would define that as actually very coercive."
  — Shirin Kale (19:06)
• "The welfare person was never really a welfare person. She was actually a casting director with no accreditations to mental health or anything else like this."
  — Katie Wiesel (22:07)
• "We're in 2026 and still nothing has changed…I believe that the only way that this industry can change is if we put safety back into our own hands."
  — Katie Wiesel (24:28–25:13)
• "You become put into this really difficult liminal space where you can't live back to your ordinary life, but you also can't make a living as a reality TV personality."
  — Shirin Kale (29:42)
• "There is no reality TV without conflict…The most profitable shows are the shows that can reliably reproduce conflict…but I think this is why this has happened."
  — Shirin Kale (32:46)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:55]–[02:24] — Shirin Kale on the appeal and guilt of watching reality TV
• [04:02]–[06:00] — Allegations from "Married at First Sight UK" and Channel 4's reaction
• [07:48]–[11:22] — How Married at First Sight works and the evolution of its format
• [13:39]–[15:26] — Channel 4, CPL, and government responses to the Panorama investigation
• [15:26]–[18:46] — Debate on vetting and the fundamental dangers of the format
• [18:51]–[20:27] — Manipulation, coercion, and gaslighting in contestant-producer dynamics
• [20:29]–[25:37] — Katie Wiesel’s X Factor experience, lack of support, and survivor reflections
• [28:14]–[29:47] — Psychological impact, liminality, and failed aftercare for reality contestants
• [31:45]–[32:59] — Has anything really changed? Industry incentives and incremental reforms
• [33:08]–[33:29] — Will "Married at First Sight" be cancelled? Unlikely due to profit

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Conclusion

This episode provides a sobering examination of the persistent failings within the reality TV industry, using "Married at First Sight UK" as a case study to highlight failures in duty of care and structural coercion built into the most popular formats. Despite public statements from networks and promises of improvement, profit-driven conflict remains at the heart of these shows, making true safety for contestants elusive. Both guests express skepticism that meaningful change will come without fundamental shifts in production and audience expectations.

Transcript

[Narrator/Advertiser]

This is the Guardian.

[Noshi Nikbah]

Today. Why can't reality TV deal with its real life consequences?

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[Shirin Kale]

I've been a watcher of reality TV and a lover of reality TV for all almost 20 years. I remember watching the first season of Big Brother when I was 11 and I remember watching them paint themselves in clay and press them up against the walls of that house and just thinking like, what on earth is this crazy show I'm watching? I was probably too young to be watching it, but I was watching it.

[Noshi Nikbah]

Shirin Kale is an investigations reporter for the Guardian.

[Shirin Kale]

Some of my favorite moments of TV ever have been on reality tv. You know, I think I watched the David's Dead clip from Celebrity Big Brother once every three months when I need to be cheered up. David's dead.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

No, he's not.

[Shirin Kale]

It's just the most amazing five minutes of tv. It's so funny, you know. Come dine with me. What a sad little life. Jane. You won.

[Noshi Nikbah]

Jane.

[Shirin Kale]

Oh my God.

[Noshi Nikbah]

Enjoy the money. I hope it makes you very happy.

[Shirin Kale]

Dear Lord, what a sad little life, Jane. But my love for reality TV is very much offset by a feeling of guilt, which is that I kind of feel like one of the spectators in the Colosseum sometimes. You know, like eating nuts while the gladiators fight. Having watched these shows for my entire adult life, I've come to terms with the fact that I don't think you can really make this sausage ethically, you know, As a viewer, I'm complicit in this too. I've enjoyed the conflict. I've tested my friends about it.

[Noshi Nikbah]

As viewers, we are complicit in making a show a hit. But how much do we really know about what goes on behind the scenes? Last week, an investigation into allegations of rape on the ratings blockbuster Married at First Sight UK have shown again how flawed the reality format is.

[Shirin Kale]

When you have couples living together who don't know each other, who are being thrust together in these really close living quarters and are sleeping in the same bed. I don't know how you make that show safe.

[Noshi Nikbah]

Is it even possible to make a show like this safe while keeping it a bingeable success because what's happened with Married at First Sight UK isn't a one off from the Guardian. I'm Noshi Nikbah. Today in focus. Could Married at First Sight UK force a reckoning for reality TV shows? Shirin Kale, you're the Guardian's investigations correspondent. You also hosted the very brilliant podcast series Unreal, which was a critical history of reality TV where you reassessed the culture of those noughties reality shows and just made us gasp at the ethics of it all at the time, or lack thereof. Now, we're obviously here to talk about the investigation into Married at First Sight uk for listeners who haven't seen what are the main allegations?

[Shirin Kale]

Yes. So Married at First Sight uk, which is the British version of an international franchise that is very popular all around the world, was recently the subject of a Panorama investigation in which three women made allegations of non consensual or exploitative sexual practices. So one woman alleged that during consensual sex her partner ejaculated inside her without her consent. And then two further women who were not named and anonymised to protect their identities, alleged that they were raped by their on screen husbands during filming for the show.

[Noshi Nikbah]

We should say the men accused in the documentary deny the claims.

[Shirin Kale]

Lizzie and her on screen husband started

[Noshi Nikbah]

having sex, but Lizzie says it turned

[Shirin Kale]

violent and, and left her bruised. I mean, for me, one example that really stood out was an on screen husband threatening to have someone throw acid in his on screen wife's face if she told anyone about his alleged abuse. And this allegation was communicated to the production company at the time. And you would think that would be an incredibly serious allegation that would warrant an immediate shutdown of filming. But it did not.

[Noshi Nikbah]

Shereen, can we talk about duty of care for a moment? Because what did these women say in the Panorama documentary about how they're treated once they raise concerns with producers?

[Shirin Kale]

One of the women in the Panorama documentary, Chloe, who alleged that she had been raped by her on screen husband, said that she complained to Channel 4 about what happened to her and how it had been handled by CPL before they broadcast her season. She says that she was told by Channel 4 that after a thorough review it found that CPL had followed welfare procedures. And what I found absolutely stunning was that this series was aired with her in it. She would presumably have to watch herself interacting with the man that she alleged had raped her on national television, which I think is absolutely remarkable. You know, the show could have been re edited to remove her from it and she said that watching the show had an absolutely devastating impact on her mental health and left her with suicidal

[Noshi Nikbah]

thoughts and she would. What about Shona Manderson, who basically said that her on screen husband, they were having consensual sex and he then ejaculated inside her without her consent. That was something they had agreed not to do. She told the producers and the response seemed to be that they took her to go get the morning after pill.

[Shirin Kale]

Shona was the only woman to go on the record with her real name in the documentary and she appears in the 2023 season of Maths UK and she alleged that her partner on the show, Bradley Skelly, ejaculated inside her without her consent despite a clear prior agreement that he would not do that. That was very much done to her wishes. And what's really interesting about her case, I think, is the fact that the next day producers took her to get the morning after pill. So clearly that would indicate that something had happened that was unplanned and might require further investigation. Lawyers for CPL say that the production company did speak to Shona and Bradley afterwards and they said that Shona told them that she did not have an issue with it. However, Shona did dispute that in the documentary. What's really interesting is that when you watch that season you can actually see that Bradley's behaviour towards Shona is not acceptable. There's interesting language that he uses around him, allowing her to do things and it's interesting to see how that behaviour wouldn't have come up in the pre show retting he is talking about her in a coercive way on camera. So you wonder how someone like that was able to get on the show to start with.

[Noshi Nikbah]

Shirin, for anyone who hasn't actually watched Married at First Sight UK and has sort of generally absorbed it through the ether. Can you just explain how it works?

[Shirin Kale]

Yeah. So Married at First Sight UK is a really interesting show. I think it's actually a bit of a throwback to an earlier era of reality TV because it has this concept at the heart of it which is a social experiment. Sort of like how Big Brother season one was a social experiment. So the experiment is a couple and they are match made by experts for each other and then they get married. These actually aren't legally binding weddings here in the uk, but they get married on the first day they meet, they go on honeymoon together and then they move in together. And at the end of this process they have to decide whether they're going to stay together. Or get a divorce, but they literally

[Noshi Nikbah]

haven't met until they're actually getting married.

[Shirin Kale]

Oh, yeah. And I mean, if you haven't watched the show, like, that's really the kind of the golden TV moment, which is that they arrive at their wedding and the women walk down the aisle, and then there's this fantastically interesting moment where they both look at each other for the first time. You look absolutely stunning.

[Noshi Nikbah]

Have they told you to say that? No, they definitely haven't.

[Shirin Kale]

If you're a student of body language, if you're interested in, you know, the laws of attraction and chemistry and all of these different things, it's really interesting to watch people meet for the first time and see whether there is that spark there or whether they look incredibly disappointed and they're trying to hide it.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

The initial attraction's not 100% there. She's not my usual type.

[Noshi Nikbah]

Married at First Sight has been around for about a decade. How has it evolved over time?

[Shirin Kale]

Married at First Sight is, I would say, like an international reality TV franchise. And so we've got Married at First Sight in Australia, the USA, Israel and here in the UK, that the format actually started in Denmark in 2013. One thing I think is interesting, if you've watched the show, so I watched earlier seasons of the show and then I've watched later seasons of the show and there's a big difference. It's a really big difference. So early on, you have I, I would say, a kind of more sedate documentary style of filmmaking.

[Noshi Nikbah]

You don't know this woman. You don't know where she lives. You don't know what job she's got.

[Shirin Kale]

No, I don't know anything like that. How do you know she's gonna like you? Well, I don't. So it is reality tv, but it's more about setting up the cameras and seeing what happens.

[Noshi Nikbah]

It's a bit more fly on the wall.

[Shirin Kale]

Fly on the wall hearing a bit to that original social experiment construct. Then what happened was that the Australian Married at First Sight became this huge ratings blockbuster success. I defended you. I literally defended you so much because I thought that you were being legit and going, I'm going to do it all above board.

[Katie Wiesel]

I'm going to say it in front

[Shirin Kale]

of Sam, I'm going to send it in front of Cam. And then I found out afterwards that

[Barclays Brief Advertiser]

you had been seeing Cam and texting

[Rylan]

him behind her back.

[Shirin Kale]

And so the British format changed in order to emulate that Australian success. And it became, I would say, a much more aggressive, much more confrontational show. I get bored of saying the same

[Narrator/Advertiser]

thing over and over again.

[Shirin Kale]

You keep saying that because I have to say it. Don't raise your voice at me.

[Noshi Nikbah]

How many contestants or contributors would there be in any one series? And how long were the couples thrown together for?

[Shirin Kale]

So you'd have 10 contestants, and the couples would be living together for around two months. They would have weekly dinner parties with all of the contestants together, which were often basically just big arguments. And one thing that they did as well when the format changed was they put all the couples in together. So previously the couples had lived in apartments on their own, but when the format changed, the couples were living very close to each other, which also meant that you had things like adultery, couple swapping, that sort of stuff, which, again, it makes a very dramatic reality tv. But of course, there's going to be a human cost to that.

[Noshi Nikbah]

Have they ever had any couples that have gone off into the sunset or falling in love and actually getting married?

[Shirin Kale]

Yeah, yeah, they have. I've actually interviewed a couple who did fall in love and stay together. And so in my opinion, what generally happens is that there'll be one or two couples that seem quite well suited, and they will be the ones that you're kind of rooting for throughout the show. You really think they're going to pull through and make it. And as a viewer, you're very invested in that. But then there'll be couples that are clearly absolute car crashers who cannot stand each other and want out from day one. And I would characterize as what happens to those contributors as quite coercive, because instead of, you know, waking up on day one of the honeymoon and being like, I'm out, they're encouraged to stay in the show even when there's clearly no chemistry between them and they don't even like each other very much. And that is purely so that you can film their arguments.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

You're the manipulator, not me. And I'm not talking to you anymore. I'm bought up of you. Please just listen to me for one second. Don't talk to me again. Just listen to me.

[Shirin Kale]

And I think in that it's a throwback to an earlier era of reality tv. You know, I would say kind of the Wild west era of reality TV that we saw in the 2000s and 2010s, and you had incredibly shocking shows. I mean, for me, the sort of reality TV moments that stand out. You know, like Big Brother, Fight Night, when security had to be pulled into the house to break apart. Couples. That type of very confrontational, conflict driven show is a show that actually had slightly gone out of favor here in the uk. We had moved towards a more gentle kind model of reality tv.

[Noshi Nikbah]

Really in what era?

[Shirin Kale]

Shows like Bake Off, I have done coconut and lime cake with coconut liqueur, toasted coconut, buttercream and lime curd. Love island also became much less conflict driven and you also have on Love Island a real emphasis on resolution. Married at First Sight UK I would say is quite a conflict driven show compared to others.

[Noshi Nikbah]

Sharon, what's been the reaction to the BBC's Panorama investigation and how have Channel 4 responded?

[Shirin Kale]

It's really interesting because before Panorama aired, Channel 4, I think, put out quite a robust statement saying that these allegations were uncorroborated. But post airing, Channel 4 has removed all episodes of Married at First Sight from its on demand streaming service and it has commissioned a external review of Welfare after being presented what it described as serious allegations of wrongdoing. Lawyers for cpl, which is the independent production company that makes the show, has said that its welfare system is gold standard and it has defended how it acted in all three of these cases. Interestingly, the government has actually responded as well, saying that these allegations are serious and that there should be consequences for criminality or wrongdoing.

[Noshi Nikbah]

And what about at the Top of Channel 4? What have we heard there?

[Shirin Kale]

So Ian Katz, who is Channel 4's chief content officer, has put out a statement saying that he watched the programme and he hurt the women's accounts and he found them to be very troubling. He said their distress is clear and for that, of course, I am deeply sorry. He said that he was confident, based on the knowledge that they had at the time that they made the right decisions, that they ensure the women involved are being kept safe when issues were raised to them and they gave them appropriate support. He also went on to say that obviously these are serious allegations and they will be taking a second look at them to see if there's anything they need to learn in the future to protect contributors on their shows.

[Noshi Nikbah]

Well, we should say at this point that the men alleged to have committed rape or sexual assaults dispute many of the women's accounts and that CPL say that at every stage when it was notified of these allegations, they say they acted appropriately. The women in the Panorama investigation feel differently and so some are taking legal action. Shirin CPL say that they vet people before they come on the show, but how thorough is that process?

[Shirin Kale]

What I think is really interesting here is that clearly there appear to have been broader issues here about safeguarding of contestants in this show because this is not the first time Married at First Sight UK has had issues to do with male contestants. So in 2022, another Married at First Sight UK contributor, George Roberts, was arrested on suspicion of controlling and coercive behavior after multiple ex partners came forward after seeing him in trailers for the show following a police investigation. No further action was taken against him and episodes actually still aired.

[Noshi Nikbah]

Oh, wow.

[Shirin Kale]

This comes back to this fundamental concept of the show, which is that you are putting complete strangers together in very close quarters without 24 hour surveillance and supervision from producers. So even the most well vetted show in the world I think could have issues here. With Married at First Sight uk, it appears that there have been issues in the past and these issues have continued. But what I would say is that I don't think there's any amount of vetting that you can do to make this format safe. I'm really surprised that it's taken this long for these sort of validations to come out. And the reason for that, and this is something that I've really thought about a lot since this Panorama documentary aired, is I do not think there is any amount of vetting that you can do to protect women from predators because we know that there are abusive men out there in the world. We know that, you know, women are most likely to be sexually assaulted by their partners and many of these allegations go unreported. So I don't know how a producer would be able to filter these men out pre show. The thing about maths is that you are putting strangers together in hotel rooms and then leaving them alone there. It's kind of astonishing when you actually stop and think about it. Right? Bed sharing as a practice is quite common in reality TV and always has been. So Love island, they share beds. Big Brother, they share beds.

[Noshi Nikbah]

Cameras are always on.

[Shirin Kale]

The cameras are always on. And I've spoken to reality TV producers on shows like Georgie Shore and they tell me that it's their job to watch the contestants sleeping and watch them having sex in some instances to make sure that there is nothing exploitative or non consensual happening. And the contributors know they're being watched as well. That does not happen in maths. One of the things that really stood out for me as particularly heartbreaking when watching the Panorama investigation was one of the women saying that she felt pressured to have sexual encounters with her on screen husband because she knew that the cameras would be arriving soon and she wanted him to be a good Mood before filming.

[Noshi Nikbah]

I wanted him to stop being angry.

[Shirin Kale]

I think she said, right, so you've got strangers sharing beds together, unmonitored, unserveilled, there's often alcohol involved. And then you also have the pressures and expectations of this show. So one of the things that often comes up in Maths, if you've watched it like I have, is the contestants clearly do not like each other very much. And that's intentional. That's intentional. Reality TV producers are not putting contestants together who they genuinely think are going to be great matches and fall in love. You want one or two people to fall in love per season, but you want the rest of them to fight. Otherwise the show is boring. On the most recent season of Maths America, they paired up a very career focused woman who was, you know, really set on being financially independent, doing well for herself, working very hard. They paired her up with a man who lived in his parents basement.

[Noshi Nikbah]

Oh, man, it's so cynical and so gross.

[Shirin Kale]

Yeah, it's so cruel for both of those people. Right. Because she's going to be presented as shallow and superficial and he's going to be presented like, you know, a loser. This is intentional. Right? They need conflict, otherwise no one's going to watch the show.

[Noshi Nikbah]

And so what happens when couples don't want to go near each other?

[Shirin Kale]

I would honestly describe this as a process of gaslighting. And it's not just women, you know. On the most recent season of Max America, a man expresses incredible unease with the fact that his on screen wife keeps trying to initiate sex with him and he doesn't want to have sex with her. They're encouraged to work through their issues. They're encouraged to try and find things that they find attractive about each other, see if they can make the relationship work. And I would define that as actually very coercive. You know, these are people saying quite clearly, I'm not attracted to this person, I don't want to have sex with them. And instead of producers saying, okay, well this is clearly a bad match, like, thanks for your time, let's end the show. The reason they can't do that is because they got to film a show. So what they're encouraged to do is to keep the contestants together, make them work their differences. But what's really going on here is we need to keep filming. And from watching the Panorama investigation, I think that came through with the interviews with the women, which is that they felt that they needed to keep their on screen husbands happy because they were worried about letting people down. They Wanted the show to keep going. They didn't want to make a big fuss, make a big scene, and so they felt unable to speak up about what was happening to them and really articulate very clearly that they wanted out of the show because you've got this big institution around you and, you know, if you say stop, then what will happen?

[Noshi Nikbah]

My name's Katie. How old are you, Katie?

[Katie Wiesel]

I'm 24.

[Noshi Nikbah]

Katie Wisel was on the X Factor in 2010. Tell us a little bit about you. Tell us what you're here for, what you hope to achieve.

[Katie Wiesel]

Okay.

[Noshi Nikbah]

It was this massive season, the one that gave us one direction, but, like,

[Katie Wiesel]

I just, I want to be a star.

[Noshi Nikbah]

Katie, if anyone has actually forgotten, you went really far in that competition, but the reaction to you was really intense. And you were often painted in the tabloids as some kind of villain. How bad did things get behind the scenes for you?

[Katie Wiesel]

Oh, my goodness. I remember that in the very beginning, it was quite good. They were like, oh, this is looks like a new Gwen Stefani. And then out of nowhere, it just completely turned and the headlines were like, we hate Kate and pop goes the weasel. Because it was similar to obviously my last name. I mean, I had death threats. It got that bad. I had acid attack threats. I had people selling fake stories about me. I had such severe, just trauma from the whole thing even during that time. And I felt so trapped. It was one of the most frustrating experiences for a nation to have an opinion on me based on something that wasn't real. And I just prayed every day that the tide would turn.

[Noshi Nikbah]

Katie, you've spoken publicly about your time on the X Factor and alleged that your mental health wasn't taken seriously. X Factor said that robust measures were in place to support those in the show. But how did you feel about how you were supported?

[Katie Wiesel]

Oh, how were we not supported? The welfare person was never really a welfare person. She was actually a casting director with no accreditations to mental health or anything else like this. It was just a welfare person who, when I later did a subject access request to everybody involved. And so for those that are unsure, that means we will have a right to see our own data or what's been said about us, etc. Etc. And so I, I did this request on the companies and this alleged welfare person completely ridiculed me on email, saying that I was a drama queen. I was being difficult. I was having panic attacks for attention. I mean, it was awful. Until one of the last emails that she had sent internally to say, I don't think that she is putting this on. This is really worrying. There was no aftercare either. Once you're out, you're out, it sounds like.

[Noshi Nikbah]

I mean, you obviously had quite an intense time on X Factor.

[Katie Wiesel]

That puts it politely.

[Noshi Nikbah]

What would good care for you at that time have looked like?

[Katie Wiesel]

Well, I think that they should have had legitimate mental health people available and there, but independent so that there's no conflict of interest because production team don't need to know the specific ins and outs of everything and for there to be also parents involved and alerted and in the know, because at the time I think I was 23 or 24, but then there were other contestants that were 16 or 17 years old. Well, 16 constitutes as a minus still. So does 17.

[Noshi Nikbah]

Several years after appearing on the series, Katie alleged that she was sexually assaulted by an employee at Simon Cowell's company, Psycho Entertainment, during a meeting about her music career. The man who denies the allegations no longer works for Psycho. In a statement, the company said that we became aware of Katie's claims through media reports in the autumn of 2017 and immediately contacted her to launch an investigation. Since then, Katie has gone on to study law and launched owl, which is a foundation to promote safety in the creative industries. How have you processed the allegations coming out of Married at First Sight uk?

[Katie Wiesel]

I was first so furious that we're still seeing this pattern of, I want to say, negligence to participants. We're in 2026 and still nothing has changed. I think that it's all empty words and empty promises to have a format where two strangers are supposed to pretend like they've known each other forever and act like they're married and, you know, for it to somewhat be normalized, to share a bed and to be intimate. And there's a lot of pressures there even with that. There should have been more protections around those intimate environments. So I ask why wasn't there?

[Shirin Kale]

And.

[Katie Wiesel]

And I believe that the only way that this industry can change is if we put safety back into our own hands. Because they just keep proving these companies and the industry sector that they're not to be trusted because they don't do anything when they actually have the power to do so.

[Noshi Nikbah]

Katie, if someone young came to you now and said, I want to go on reality TV show, what would you tell them? What would you say?

[Katie Wiesel]

I would say the industry just needs to change first. So I would just say it's very important that you know what you're getting into, you know what you're signing, you know that you have a right to independent legal advice. And if they kick off and say, well, we'll just find somebody else, take that as a blessing in disguise.

[Noshi Nikbah]

Coming up It's a global franchise, but will Married at First Sight Keep Going.

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[Noshi Nikbah]

now actually, when you have looked into this world and you've looked at a lot of reality TV shows, do you see a pattern in terms of how contributors are treated when things are going wrong?

[Shirin Kale]

That's a really good question, and it's hard to answer on behalf of an entire genre because reality TV encompasses so so many different things and so many different shows. I think that you can have a gold standard of duty of care on shows that are much less conflict driven, that are much less confrontational, are much less aggressive. You know, gentler, kinder reality TV shows, I think that is possible. But you know, Married at First Sight UK is a show that is often clipped up for social media and that can work in the contestants favors. Many times many of them have gone on to build like big social media followings and become online personalities. But I think there is a limit to the psychological protections you can put in place. You know in terms of welfare support, checking in with a welfare producer, being being able to speak to an on screen psychologist when you are being aired on a reality TV show that is broadcasting nationally to millions of people. And reality TV has gone through so many of these scandals now. You know, I remember the two very sad suicides linked to Love island in the mid 2010s. Although suicide is always a very complex thing that is rarely driven by a single factor, I think it is pretty widely accepted that both of those contestants really struggled to adjust to life after the show. There's something that happens to people when you're famous enough that it's difficult to get a normal job, but not so famous that you can live solely on the income and earnings that you make from that fame. You become put into this really difficult liminal space where you can't live back to your ordinary life, but you also can't make a living as a reality TV personality to so many of you.

[Unnamed Speaker (talking about a reality TV contestant's struggles)]

I think at that point, you know, the work wasn't coming in. He'd finished celebs go dating, the buzz had kind of gone and he didn't really know what to do for work and he wanted to be his own boss and he didn't know how to do that. I know he had a massive tax bill that he paid and I think the stress really, really got to him and he kind of thought, you know, this fame isn't what it's cracked up to be. Where do I go now?

[Noshi Nikbah]

But it's not even formats that have a romantic element that have faced sort of, you know, historic scandal and, you know, abuse. And I'm thinking specifically of the Jade Goody Shilpa Shetty racial abuse incident, or, you know, X Factor's Lucy Spraggon, who was raped and told producers and it was then said that she was ill and that was the reason why she wasn't on the show. Us as an audience were told it was due to illness and of course it wasn't.

[Rylan]

No.

[Noshi Nikbah]

Yeah.

[Rylan]

So after the third week of the live shows, I was Rylan and I, who's my friend from the show, we were moved to a different hotel. And in that hotel, a hotel porter let himself into my hotel room and sexually assaulted me. There's a high risk of HIV when anything like that happens. And I was presented with the choice to carry on with the show or to take pets, which is an antiviral drug that stops you from contracting hiv. So, yes, that did make me very unwell, but it wasn't the reason why I left the show.

[Noshi Nikbah]

I know you said you're very cynical about this, but there have been these moments of reckoning over the last couple of decades. You know, we've talked about the two Love island contestants who took their own lives after appearing on the show, which felt like a moment in which things might change, the show might change, you know, or future reality shows might have taken lessons on not just how to treat contestants or contributors as they are on the shows themselves, but the care they need after it's all ended.

[Shirin Kale]

There have been changes. I think one thing that I fully observed with reality TV in general is there's much less alcohol consumption. You know, on Love island. They are limited now in how much alcohol they can drink. You will often see the contestants holding these sort of like big goblets of wine, but it's really a prop. They're often not drinking that much. In general, I think that we do have better language and discussion of boundaries, consent in reality TV as a format. So, yes, things are, broadly speaking, better. We don't have shows like there's something about Miriam where the big plot twist, reveal is that a woman is trans. And that's seen as a shocking, awful thing. I'm not a woman. I was born as a man. We are in, like, more progressive times. However, the engine of reality TV has always been conflict. There is no reality TV without conflict. And the most profitable shows are the shows that can reliably reproduce conflict across different formats and territories and make independent production companies and broadcasters a lot of money. Married at First Sight is one of those shows and I think this is why this has happened.

[Noshi Nikbah]

In light of all of this, where do you think the format goes next? I mean, is it possible that Married at First Sight will just continue in the territories it's in?

[Shirin Kale]

It's too profitable to be cancelled across all the different territories it's in. And I imagine they also have different licensing deals. So, you know, Married at First Sight UK might not be appearing anymore, but I'd be very surprised if Married at First Sight USA or Married At First Sight Australia are pulled. It's a guaranteed hit year after year. Why on earth did they kill the golden goose? That's just the reality of it, the

[Noshi Nikbah]

reality of reality tv. Shirin, thank you so much for your time.

[Shirin Kale]

Thanks for having me.

[Noshi Nikbah]

That was the Guardian's investigations reporter, Shirin Kale, and Katie Wiesel, a campaigner for Safety in Television. Thanks to both of them, in response to the allegations, the men accused of rape and sexual assault on Married At First Sight UK deny the women's accounts. George Roberts denies abuse allegations made by three former girlfriends. Channel 4 has said it commissioned an external review last month of welfare on the show after being presented with what it called serious allegations of wrongdoing. CPL says its welfare protocols are industry leading and that it acted appropriately in all of these cases. And that's it for today. This episode was presented by Me Noshi Nqbal. It was produced by Mae Robson, Eleanor Biggs, Tom Glasser and Hannah Adan. Sound design is by Rudy Zagadlo and the executive producer was Elizabeth Kassin. We'll be back later with the latest.

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[Shirin Kale]

[e-mail] A History of the United States

[I]

in 100 Objects is a brand new podcast from 99% Invisible and BBC Studios. Each week we're looking at a different object from across American history with a unique story to tell about who we've been, what we've built, and what we've allowed ourselves to forget. Some of these objects are well known, many are not, but all of them carry the story of how we got to this moment. Find A History of the United States and 100 objects on the 99% invisible feed. Wherever you get your podcasts.