The complicated truth about adoption reunions

Summary

Podcast Summary: Today in Focus – The Complicated Truth About Adoption Reunions

The Guardian | June 22, 2026 | Host: Annie Kelly | Guest: David Batty

---

Overview

This episode of "Today in Focus" explores the deeply personal and complex realities behind adoption reunions, particularly focusing on the legacy of forced adoptions in the UK between the 1940s and 1970s. Annie Kelly interviews Guardian journalist David Batty, who shares his own experience as an adoptee searching for and reconnecting with both his birth parents. Through powerful testimony, the episode dismantles the myth of fairy-tale reunions, instead revealing a landscape marked by trauma, longing, confusion, and the lasting impact of social systems.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Discovery of Adoption and Early Identity Struggles

Timestamps: 04:08–08:50

• David found out he was adopted at age 7 but had little reaction at the time, reflecting, “I just completely sort of blanked it or, or just couldn't take it in.” (David Batty, 04:08)
• The topic of adoption was not revisited or discussed openly within his adoptive family, leading to lingering questions and confusion.
• As a teenager, David secretly found his adoption records, learning his birth father was Iranian—a fact concealed from him, which destabilized his sense of identity.

  “I do remember just sort of looking in the mirror and just thinking, who on earth am I? You know, like whose face is this? You know, whose life am I living?” (David Batty, 07:19)

• He describes feeling haunted by “ghost worlds”—the alternate life he might have lived, with different parents and identity.

2. The Forced Adoption System in the UK

Timestamps: 13:45–16:36

• David explains that from the 1940s-70s, unmarried mothers were deemed unfit to raise children and heavily pressured, even coerced, to give them up for adoption.
• The process was rooted in moral and religious judgments, with authorities enforcing notions of the “nuclear family.”
• Notably, even offers from relatives to adopt children were rejected as “artificial setups.”

  “The Reverend tells them, well, you know, this would be a terrible thing because that would not be a normal family... the child would probably end up becoming a juvenile delinquent.” (David Batty, 16:06)

3. Search and Reunion with Birth Mother

Timestamps: 08:50–19:53

• After waiting until he felt emotionally secure, David began his search in his late 20s—a process complicated by legal hurdles for those adopted before 1975.
• The first written contact with his birth mother was polite and somewhat distant. She shared little about David’s birth father and nothing about the adoption’s circumstances at first.
• They eventually met at the Tate Modern—a charged and surreal encounter.

  “One of my first reactions was, don't let it be her... there was this kind of aura of unhappiness around her.” (David Batty, 12:06)

• The relationship was hampered by unresolved trauma. His birth mother’s grief and anger over the forced adoption dominated their interactions.
• At one point during a tense dinner, she erupted over the term “birth mother,” saying, “I hate that term. I wasn't a brood mare.” (David Batty, 18:30) She also revealed, loudly and unexpectedly, that David’s birth father had wanted her to have an abortion.
• The overwhelming weight of her trauma, for which he felt ill-equipped and unsupported, eventually led David to cut contact.

  “[It was] really overwhelming. And the turning point was this dinner... I just didn't really know what to do and I didn't have any support, I didn't have any guidance..." (David Batty, 19:53)

4. Search and Reunion with Birth Father

Timestamps: 21:38–26:16

• David found his birth father, an Iranian now living in the US, after his half-brother posted a message online addressed to “my brother, who I will never meet.”
• Their first phone call was emotional—his father cried and shared his perspective on the past.
• The reunion was easier, despite his father’s alcoholism and deteriorating health, because his traumas were not related to the forced adoption.

  “This was trauma that was not related to me. And that made it a lot easier to deal with, actually.” (David Batty, 25:10)

• David traveled to LA to meet him, learning more about his family, but the relationship remained fraught due to his father’s alcoholism and eventual death.

5. The Reality of Adoption Reunions

Timestamps: 27:42–31:19

• David unequivocally does not regret tracing his roots:

  “Yes, unreservedly, yes. Which might come as a surprise... with regards to the first reunion, if I had an opportunity to go back and do that differently, I would...” (David Batty, 28:00)

• He rejects the “fairy tale” narrative around reunion, likening his own experience to an art installation of an exploded shed—fragmented, evocative, unresolved.
• Since sharing his story publicly, he’s been flooded with hundreds of messages from other adoptees and affected families, all echoing complex, often painful journeys.

  “A lot of similarities in terms of having that very mixed feeling about meeting a birth parent... dealing with their trauma as well as your own trauma, and how to navigate that and bond without it being trauma bonding and the lack of support.” (David Batty, 30:25)

6. Mental Health, Systemic Response, and the Need for Reform

Timestamps: 32:07–35:39

• Studies show that adopted teens/young adults are twice as likely to face mood disorders and four times as likely to attempt suicide compared to the general population.

  “That is just an absolutely astounding figure... it does put, you know, Susan's experience, my own experience, the experiences of lots of other adoptees into this sort of terrifying context.” (David Batty, 32:25)

• Despite a recent government apology for the legacy of forced adoption in England, practical support remains lacking.
• David strongly advocates for freely available therapy and more peer support networks for both adoptees and birth parents.

  “There needs to be freely available therapy for both the adoptive adult and… the birth parent. I feel very strongly that social workers don't really have a role to play here because of the historic role that social work played in forced adoption.” (David Batty, 33:57)

• The episode closes with David emphasizing that only meaningful, well-supported systemic change will make any institutional apology truly significant.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “The part of her that had been missing for all those years was that baby, not the adult that that baby became. And that's the challenge of our reunion and I think, a lot of other reunions.” – David Batty (02:18)
• “You see all these sort of scorched fragments that are suspended… I think I was just really taken aback when I went into that installation again and just… feeling like how much it encapsulated my experience.” – David Batty, describing an art installation as a metaphor for his adoption experience (29:08)
• “If it's just words, it won't mean anything.” – David Batty, on government apologies without action (35:39)

---

Resource Timestamps

• [00:55] David learns of his birth mother’s death
• [04:08] Discovering he was adopted
• [07:19] Realizing his birth father was Iranian
• [12:06] First meeting with his birth mother at Tate Modern
• [16:04] Explanation of forced adoption policy
• [18:30] The outburst over the term “birth mother”
• [21:51] Reconnecting with his birth father
• [28:00] On the value of searching for birth parents
• [29:08] Metaphor of the exploded shed
• [32:25] Statistics on mental health risks for adoptees
• [33:57] Call for therapy and peer support

---

Conclusion

This episode offers a nuanced, often heartbreaking inside look into the emotional aftermath of forced adoption and the realities of seeking reunion. David Batty’s story challenges societal expectations, spotlights the need for support and systemic change, and invites solidarity among those touched by adoption.

---

For support and to share your own experiences, see the form linked in the episode notes.

Transcript

[Annie Kelly]

This is the Guardian. Today, the complicated truth behind adoption reunions.

[Andrewton / Andrew]

Many business leaders see AI's tremendous potential for their companies, but they're still struggling to turn that potential into measurable results and competitive advantage. I'm Andrewton.

[Sarah Elk]

And I'm Sarah Elk. And on our new podcast, Winning with AI, we're talking to CEOs who are using AI to drive business transformation, delivering real wins and changing how their companies run.

[Andrewton / Andrew]

We'll hear how leaders empower and mobilize their people and make the use of AI part of how the whole organization thinks. Winning with AI.

[Annie Kelly]

One morning in September 2023, David Batty was scrolling through his work emails, looking for a lost mess. Searching through his spam box, he found something that turned this mundane, everyday moment into something monumental.

[David Batty]

So I had set up a Google alert on her name, and it was an alert for a probate notice. And I rang the solicitor who told me, yes, she'd been killed in this, well, I think they called it a car accident.

[Annie Kelly]

His birth mother had died.

[David Batty]

I heard from my birth mother's sister, that's my maternal aunt, she told me more details and really just painted this picture of a very sad and lonely end to my birth mother's life. So, yeah, that was numbing.

[Annie Kelly]

David was one of hundreds of thousands of babies forcibly adopted in the UK between the 1940s and the 1970s. And for years after learning he was adopted, he had dreamt of being reunited with Susan, his birth mother. But the reality proved very different from the dream.

[David Batty]

The part of her that had been missing for all those years was that baby, not the adult that that baby became. And that's the challenge of our reunion and I think, a lot of other reunions.

[Annie Kelly]

By the time she died, he hadn't seen her for almost 15 years. And for David, her lonely death shows the lasting damage done by forced adoption.

[David Batty]

It's very shocking to realize that this very sort of private, personal, traumatic thing that you've been through is something that is the result of a huge social injustice.

[Annie Kelly]

Before I go on, I know that you and the committee will want to hear that this government will very soon be making a full apology on behalf of the state to all of those affected by historic forced adoption in England. I want to say how profoundly sorry we are for those who have been affected by the practices at homes that are affiliated to the Church of England. From the Guardian, I'm Annie Kelly. Today in focus, the painful legacy of forced adoption in the uk. So, David Batty, you are an editor and senior news writer at the Guardian. You have just recently written an incredibly personal and really powerful piece about your search for your birth parents and the aftermath. So could we start with the moment when you found out that you were adopted?

[David Batty]

So I was 7 years old and I don't really remember very much about it. I remember the aftermath being in the garden shed with my sister, who's four years older than me, and crying. And I spoke to my dad about this, my adoptive dad about this, and asked him, you know, what happened when they told me and he said, well, you didn't really have any reaction. And I obviously looking back now, I just think that's incredibly telling, that I just completely sort of blanked it or, or just couldn't take it in.

[Annie Kelly]

And did he explain to you how he told you? Did he give you any reference points about their decisions leading up to that moment where they told you as a 7 year old?

[David Batty]

All he told me was that they'd been advised, that's him, my adoptive mum had been advised by the adoption agency that they should tell me at some point between I think the age of 5 and 10 and just choose the right moment. And it really didn't sound like they'd had any more advice than that.

[Annie Kelly]

And was it talked about afterwards?

[David Batty]

No, it wasn't something that was, was discussed and it wasn't like it was actively discouraged. It was just like there was no opportunity to sort of raise it or talk about it. I think my adoptive parents have sort of been led to believe that, you know, you say this and that's it and it wasn't the case because it's something that very much occupied my mind.

[Annie Kelly]

Did you know anything at all about your origin story, about your past?

[David Batty]

I did because when I was in my mid teens, I think around 14 or 15, I began to search through my adoptive parents bedroom cupboards trying to find my adoption records. And I did find this partial record which included my birth mother's name and my birth father's name and so sorry,

[Annie Kelly]

was this the first time you knew what their names were? So you were alone kind of rifling through your parents paperwork?

[David Batty]

Yes.

[Annie Kelly]

And you came across this certificate that was the first time you'd seen your parents names?

[David Batty]

Yes.

[Annie Kelly]

Wow. I mean, what was that like?

[David Batty]

It really sort of took me aback largely because of my birth father's identity because he was Iranian. It was a very deliberate choice that I wasn't told that. I had this conversation with my adoptive dad last October and I asked him about this and he said, well, you know, their advice was that it just didn't matter. It was in this partial record that there was this letter that they had been sent by the adoption agency which described me and it said, you will note the child's father comes from a Persian family, was the way they worded it. But the child is, I think it was very fair and shows no sign of any colour. So that was it. It was like I passed as white. So it just was a non issue. I think it had a much more profound impact in a way than learning I was adopted. But I do remember just sort of looking in the mirror and just thinking, who on earth am I? You know, like, who what? Like whose face is this? You know, whose life am I living?

[Annie Kelly]

And a really vulnerable time of life to find that out. When you're a teenager and you know, you're already going through so much self exploration and around identity, you write really powerfully around this idea of ghost worlds. Is that what you meant about finding that part of yourself that you. That you had never imagined?

[David Batty]

Yes, it's, you know, this idea that you're suddenly haunted by these people and haunted by this other life and this life that you might have lived if you weren't adopted. And, you know, the fact that you had this other name, these other parents, these two other families, so confusing. So, you know, lots of really, you know, incredibly confusing. And yes, as I say, this sense of being haunted by these people and this person who you might have been.

[Annie Kelly]

And when did you decide to start looking for your birth mother?

[David Batty]

I had really thought about searching for my birth parents from the time I was in my mid to late teens. Sort of realized that I wanted to feel really secure in my life. Before I did this, I just had this gut feeling that I'm going to know when it feels like the right time.

[Annie Kelly]

And that wasn't for another 15 years. So what was the process of looking for them like?

[David Batty]

So because I was adopted prior to 1975, I had to go through a mediator. So people who were adopted prior to that, the birth parents were often led to believe that the adoptions were closed so that there wasn't any way for the children to find them. So we agreed a wording of a letter that was sent to my birth mother, it was quite vague.

[Annie Kelly]

Right. And she replied, didn't she? What was in that first letter that she sent to you?

[David Batty]

It was brief. I think it was only like about one and a half sides of a four. So she said a little bit about her parents and her brother and sister and what she did for a living and where she lived. So she lived in Guildford. She was married, she was a teacher. She'd studied English literature. Undergraduate, postgraduate and then PhD, which was interesting because I'd done my first degree in English literature. She didn't really say anything about my birth father in that first letter, but I asked her and she did in the second.

[Annie Kelly]

And did she talk at all about the circumstances of your adoption and why or how she gave you?

[David Batty]

No, not in those two letters. But she did say, I want you to know that not a day has gone by when I haven't thought of you.

[Annie Kelly]

It's just so sad, isn't it? And what did your mother tell you about her relationship with your birth father?

[David Batty]

In the second letter that she sent me, she gave me this description of him. He was an Iranian student, I think, but they were both at Luton Polytechnic. The picture that was painted from the adoption file was that they'd had this brief relationship. He'd then moved to the US to continue his studies. My birth mother hadn't found out she was pregnant until, I think, almost six months into her pregnancy. And, you know, in this second letter to me, she sort of described him as being quite serious and religious. And then she said, I don't know where he is and I don't care.

[Annie Kelly]

You did eventually meet your mother. Could you tell us about that first time that you met her face to face?

[David Batty]

We met for the first time in the Tate Modern. This was in. I think it was the summer of 2005, maybe May or June. But that first meeting, yeah, I mean, obviously I was incredibly nervous, and it was in the Turbine hall, so it was on that huge space, so there was loads of other people there. And I'm just sort of scanning the crowd. And eventually, yes, I sort of settled on this figure and sort of our eyes met and I realized, oh, it's her. One of my first reactions was, don't let it be her. And the reason why I thought that was because I just got this sense from her that there was something amiss, that there was something wrong. It was like there was this kind of aura of unhappiness around her that then we met and it was fine, it seemed good. And we went around and looked at the exhibits. You know, she was on very good form. She was very chatty. And then she brought out all these photos of her family. All of a sudden, I'm just confronted with all these people who I can recognize, like a feature or something there.

[Annie Kelly]

What was that like, kind of sitting opposite this stranger who, you know, is your birth Mother in the middle of the Tate Modern, you know, on an afternoon was. It sounds surreal.

[David Batty]

It is surreal because, you know, you've got. This is somebody who you've got the most intimate connection with. This is the person who gave you life, but they're also a stranger and they have not been in your life for over 30 years. She remembered me, and obviously I didn't remember her.

[Annie Kelly]

What do you know now about the circumstances that led to your adoption? Have you pieced it all together?

[David Batty]

Well, we're talking about a period of time from post Second World War to, say, probably the mid-1970s. But the practice is believed to have continued into the early or mid-80s, where if a teenage girl or young woman got pregnant and she wasn't married, she was deemed to be unfit to keep that child. And any kind of attempt by her to keep that child was seen as a moral failing in itself. So, yes, it was very much from this very particular kind of judgmental, Christian approach of moral welfare. So the concept was that it was in the best interests of both the child and the mother for the child to be given up, because what a child needed was a nice, normal nuclear family. My birth mother had said on a number of occasions that effectively she'd been pressured and coerced. So having that additional understanding of what had gone on, and this was a systemic thing that had affected tens of thousands of women over several decades and, you know, tens of thousands of women and tens of thousands of babies in that period of time. It's estimated that there are around 180, 185,000 babies, I think, just in England who were forcibly removed from their mothers. An expert called Professor Michael Lambert has done a lot of research on this, and he's put estimates for the whole of the UK to be, I think, somewhere between around 215 and maybe even 500,000.

[Annie Kelly]

I mean, that's staggering.

[David Batty]

So in the adoption records, there is mention of my maternal grandparents wanting to adopt me. And the Reverend tells them, well, you know, this would be a terrible thing because that would not be a normal family. It would be an artificial setup and the child would probably end up becoming a juvenile delinquent.

[Annie Kelly]

Right, that's on record.

[David Batty]

That's in the note.

[Annie Kelly]

So it sounds like you managed, through these scattered conversations with your mother and the piecing together through your own adoption records to get this sense of what might have gone on. There was a lot of unprocessed trauma there that your mother suffered. How did her feelings about the past shape your relationship after that reunion?

[David Batty]

It Made it increasingly difficult because I had no idea of how to handle it. The rawness and acuteness of her trauma and her anger and her unhappiness, and that really came to dominate our conversations. And, you know, she mentioned that she'd sort of written this note that she tucked into my baby clothes when she handed me over to the moral welfare officer. And of course, that hadn't been given to me because it would have been removed.

[Annie Kelly]

That's heartbreaking, isn't it?

[David Batty]

Yes. It was really this outpouring of grief that she had, and I just really didn't know what to do. I didn't really have a very clear understanding of my own trauma. So to then be put in this position of almost feeling responsible for dealing with her trauma was really overwhelming. And the turning point was this dinner that we had at a restaurant. And I can't really remember the circumstances or the context of me mentioning the term birth mother. She had this really visceral reaction where she just shouted like, I hate that term. I wasn't a brood mare, but it was like the dam finally broke, and all the depth of that trauma came out. And I think I just kind of sat there sort of stunned. What she went on to say in that moment of anger was that, of course, you know, that your birth father wanted me to have an abortion. And as I say, this was in. In the middle of a restaurant, said very loudly. And that. I mean, that was the thing that really stunned me because. Because, you know, by that point in my life, of course, I'd considered the fact that abortion is something that would likely have been considered. But, you know, in that moment, I was just so taken aback by that and just like, where are my feelings in all this? Because I, you know, I had a lot of sympathy with her, but I wasn't the person who caused this. That was the system, I think. When I saw the adoption social worker again after that meeting, I realized what she really wants is she wants her baby back. That's what she's longing for. And this was really the disconnect.

[Annie Kelly]

And what happened next.

[David Batty]

We didn't see each other again after that. We kept in contact, and it was sort of cordial contact, but I was just incredibly wary of meeting her again after that because I was just like, I don't want to have to deal with this. This is such a huge, raw, you know, depth of feeling. You know, gradually it petered out, and my responses to her became less and less frequent. And I think I just kind of reached that point where it's just like. Like, have you just not got it that I'm actually really upset by what at that restaurant? And I think, you know, I wrote that email to her. It was very sort of direct and to the point that I can't do this anymore. You know, I don't want to continue in contact. And I'm sure it must have been absolutely terrible for her to read that. On one level, I do feel guilt for that, but on another level, I just feel that I just didn't really know what to do and I didn't have any support, I didn't have any guidance, and I just didn't really, at that point, I hadn't processed my feelings enough.

[Annie Kelly]

But, David, after that relationship broke down, you did, in your 30s, I think, manage to track down your birth father. How did that experience differ from what you went through with Susan, your birth mother?

[David Batty]

I mean, it was very, very different. I found him through, I think, just a Google search on his name. He'd written about being a journalist, you know, and I didn't know that before. And then there was this picture of this other boy who was a young teenager at the time, who was my half brother, who I had no idea existed. And given that my half brother was in his early teens, I decided that I wouldn't initiate tracing at that point. So I waited, and I waited until he was 18. And when he was 18, I found his Facebook profile and sort of went through that and found this post that he'd written years earlier, like, years and years earlier. And it said, to my brother, who I will never meet. And that was to me, like the thing that made me decide, right, I'm going to do this. So I'd gathered all this information about him and found a private investigator who handles adoption tracing in LA, and they found him within 24 hours. By bizarre coincidence, this was on the day of Trump's first inauguration. So this is when the travel ban on Iranians comes into the us. And I was at the Women's March with a couple of friends, the anti Trump march in London, and I get this message on my phone, oh, we've found your birth father. When I spoke to my birth father on the phone for the first time, he was really happy and he cried. We spent an hour on the phone and he told me everything, or he told me his version of events of the relationship with my birth mother, which was very different from my birth mother's account. And then he told me a bit about his life and he told me a bit about Brian. That's My half brother, but he was really slurring his words and I just thought, he's drunk, you know, and I think he's an alcoholic. And my half brother messaged me a couple of days later on Twitter. And yeah, one of the first things he tells me is, yes, he's an alcoholic.

[Annie Kelly]

So another really chaotic situation, I think. You got to meet your birth father, didn't you?

[David Batty]

Yes. So I went over there in March of 2017 to LA, and I remember being absolutely terrified. And I just remember just being absolutely kind of frozen, just going, what the hell am I doing? I don't know any of these people. And I'm going over there for two weeks, being immersed in this situation when I know that there's a lot of very traumatic things have happened.

[Annie Kelly]

Yeah, and when you say a lot of traumatic things had happened, that's really true, isn't it? I mean, you discover that his first wife was killed in a car crash and then also his sister had been murdered in Rome.

[David Batty]

So all this kind of trauma that he'd been through, but I think the difference was that this was trauma that was not related to me. And that made it a lot easier to deal with, actually. So we met sort of two or three times during that trip. And he was in a very bad state. You know, his cognitive decline was really evident. You know, he would tell me the same things again and again. And we were due to meet at this lockup that he had where he kept all the family albums, his films, and he never turned up because he got drunk. And then sort of, what was it? Late 2018, my half brother told me he'd been taken into hospital or some kind of long term palliative care unit. Yeah, and then he. Then In November of 2000. Is it November or early December of 2018, he died.

[Annie Kelly]

Coming up, the long shadow of forced adoption.

[Andrewton / Andrew]

Many business leaders see AI's tremendous potential for their companies. But they're still struggling to turn their potential into measurable results and competitive advantage. I'm Andrewton.

[Sarah Elk]

And I'm Sarah Elk. And on our new podcast, Winning with AI, we're talking to CEOs who are using AI to drive business transformation, delivering real wins and changing how their companies run.

[Andrewton / Andrew]

We hear how leaders empower and mobilize their people and make the use of AI part of how the whole organization thinks. Winning with AI.

[Stamps.com Advertiser]

Shipping, billing, admin, payroll, marketing. You're managing all the things, so why waste time sending important documents the old fashioned way? Mail and ship when you want, how you want, with stamps, dot com print postage on demand 24, 7 and schedule pickups from your office or home. Save up to 90% with automated rate shopping. That's why over 1 million small businesses trust stamps.com. go to stamps.com and use code podcast to try stamps.com risk free for 60 days.

[Annie Kelly]

So, you know, both of these reunions not being easy or straightforward, both very different experiences. Are you glad that you did find them? Are you glad that you did go back and look for them?

[David Batty]

Yes, unreservedly, yes. Which might come as a surprise. I mean, obviously, with regards to the first reunion, if I had an opportunity to go back and do that differently, I would. But I regret the decision and I certainly don't have any particular regrets about the second reunion, which I think are handled far, far better.

[Annie Kelly]

I think we like to believe that, you know, that these adoption reunions have these sort of fairy tale endings, a bit like we see in all of those reality TV shows, you know, where children are reunited with their birth parents. But your experience shows this isn't always, you know, or maybe even often the case. How would you describe what it was like for you?

[David Batty]

Yes, this description of them being fairy tales. I compare it to visiting Cornelia Parker's exploded shed, which is this art installation where she'd blown up this garden shed.

[Annie Kelly]

And.

[David Batty]

And you see all these sort of scorched fragments that are suspended and sort of. You walk into that space and it's lit by, I think, a single light bulb. So it's a very evocative installation. And I think I was just really taken aback when I. When I went into that installation again and just sort of feeling like how much it encapsulated my experience.

[Annie Kelly]

Yeah, it's very personal, what, what you've written about. Why is now the time that you felt you wanted to do this?

[David Batty]

I mean, there's been so many other things that have happened in. In the past few years as well. So, you know, my adoptive father died last November, so that's the last of all four of my parents to die. So, you know, reunion with my birth father o level up with my adoptive mother dying of cancer. So there are all these things that came up that just made it not the right time to write it.

[Annie Kelly]

I know that you've also been in contact with a large number of other families who've also been through the same process. Can you tell me about what it's been like talking to some of those and hearing those stories?

[David Batty]

I mean, I've spoken to people before writing the piece. I've spoken to around 100 adoptees. And I was very struck by how similar the experience was. Obviously, you know, a very different range of different families and times and experiences, but a lot of similarities in terms of having that very mixed feeling about meeting a birth parent, which has taken you aback, and dealing with their trauma as well as your own trauma, and how to navigate that and bond without it being trauma bonding and the lack of support. I have had well over 200 texts, emails, messages, the vast majority of which are from other adoptees.

[Annie Kelly]

This is since you've published your story.

[David Batty]

Since I published my story, but also adoptive parents, the children of adopted people, siblings of adopted people. Some of them have just gone, thank you. Others have been pages and pages just pouring out what their experience has been, and also just how validating it feels to finally have somebody sort of say this publicly in the media. It has been a really grueling few months and, you know, I don't think it's really an exaggeration to say that, yes, it has been cathartic, but probably it almost emotionally destroyed me writing it.

[Annie Kelly]

And have you learned anything about, or what do you know about the impact on people who go through adoptions?

[David Batty]

I recall one study that said adopted teenagers and young adults, I think, were twice as likely as the general population to experience mood disorders like anxiety and depression or to be admitted to mental health services. And I think another study found that young adoptees were four times more likely to attempt suicide. So that is just an absolutely astounding figure. You know, I sort of looked at that and was just absolutely horrified, you know, and it does put, you know, Susan's experience, my own experience, the experiences of lots of other adoptees into this sort of terrifying context.

[Annie Kelly]

Yeah. And just with so little recognition.

[David Batty]

Yeah.

[Annie Kelly]

As well. And even though the government has said this week that it intends to apologise for the UK's really painful legacy of forced adoption, with these reunions, ongoing reunions, it's much easier for children and birth parents to find each other. And as you said, your experience of that being this potentially really perilous, knotty experience, that's not unusual. There are thousands of people who've gone through these forced adoptions that will also be attempting reunions. So having gone through all of this and told your own story, what do you think needs to change? Do people going through this process need more support?

[David Batty]

There needs to be freely available therapy for both the adoptive adult and we're talking about reunion here, the adoptive adult and the birth parent. I feel very strongly that social workers don't really have a role to play here because of the historic role that social work played in forced adoption. And I think my birth mother, I think a lot of birth mothers find it very traumatizing to have to deal with social workers when they've had such a negative experience of dealing with social workers in the past. I attend a peer support group for adoptees, make you realize that actually your experiences and your thoughts and feelings about adoption and reunion are not unusual. So I think, you know, there could be more funding to help those groups. The reason why we've got a crisis in adoptive families is also because the funding for birth families early intervention support has been cut and cut and cut throughout austerity to the point where you've got, you know, where children are being taken from families now. They're already in crisis and already suffering far more trauma than they should have done because the support wasn't there for them and their birth families much earlier in their lives. So all of those things need to happen for, for an apology to be meaningful. If it's just words, it won't mean anything.

[Annie Kelly]

Well, David, thank you so much for coming in and telling this story all over again to, to us today.

[David Batty]

Thank you.

[Annie Kelly]

My thanks to David Batty for telling me his story and you can read all of his reporting on forced [e-mail] Just before we go, the Guardian's community team is asking Guardian readers and listeners if they'd like to share their experiences of adoption, reunion and forced adoption. They want to know how challenging was it to forge relationships with birth relatives and to maintain them and what, if any, support did you receive? And you can share your experiences through the form that we've linked in the episode notes. And that's it for today. This episode was Produced by Casey McLaw and presented by me, Annie Kelly. Sound design was by Bria McNamara. And the executive producers were Sammy Kent and Homa Khalili. This is the Guardian.

[Andrewton / Andrew]

Many business leaders see AI's tremendous potential for the companies but are still struggling to turn their potential into measurable results and competitive advantage. I'm Andrew.

[Sarah Elk]

And I'm Sarah Elk. And on our new podcast, Winning with AI, we're talking to CEOs who are using AI to drive drive business transformation, delivering real wins and changing how their companies run.

[Andrewton / Andrew]

We'll hear how leaders empower and mobilize their people and make the use of AI part of how the whole organization thinks.

[Stamps.com Advertiser]

Winning with AI, shipping, billing, admin, payroll, marketing. You're managing all the things, so why waste time sending important documents? The old fashioned way. Mail and ship when you want how you want with stamps.com print postage on demand 247 and schedule pickups from your office or home. Save up to 90% with automated rate shopping. That's why over 1 million small businesses trust stamps.com, go to stamps.com and use code podcast to try stamps.com risk free for 60 days. Marketers, you know that feeling when your creative clicks. When that social post sends engagement through the roof. When your outside of the box campaign hits ROI positive. When a personalized homepage turns prospects into customers. It's utter marketing bliss. Contentful Helps you create tailored omnichannel experiences without working overtime. No stress, no limits, only possibilities. Get the [e-mail].