7 Steps to Master Networking (Replay)

Summary

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Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu

Episode: 7 Steps to Master Networking (Replay)

Date: April 26, 2024

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Episode Overview

In this insightful and energetic episode of Impact Theory, host Tom Bilyeu is joined by Christopher “Dr. Finesse” McDonald, director of talent relations for Impact Theory and longtime industry booker. Together, they break down the essentials of becoming a master networker—especially for introverts and homebodies. Christopher shares his career journey, personal philosophies, and the detailed "Top 7 Do's of Networking" that have made him one of the most well-connected people in the business.

The episode brims with actionable advice, authentic storytelling, and memorable wisdom on how real relationships—not just transactional connections—are the true foundation for personal and career success.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Value of Networking (03:00–05:00)

• Tom admits he didn't grasp the power of networking in his 20s, seeing it as cliché (“Your net worth is your network”).
• A critical moment: Tom realized the importance of relationships when an older employee landed a key lead thanks to his robust Rolodex.
• Both Tom and Christopher self-identify as introverts and homebodies, yet recognize the vital importance of putting themselves "in the room" for success.

Christopher’s Networking Origin Story (04:43–11:11)

• Christopher outlines his path from rigorous journalism school (“50 page, single-spaced papers, no errors allowed” [06:02]) to networking out of necessity.
• His first job at CNN was landed by literally walking in, introducing himself, and being vouched for:
  “I just walked in and asked for a job. And he gave me a job on the spot. Can you start today? Perfect.” (07:39, Christopher)
• Early lessons from journalism: “Your network is every element that's out there. You've got to put yourself out there and put yourself in the faces of people.” (06:35, Christopher)
• Mentorship was key: Denise Kwan at CNN became a mentor simply by Christopher asking to shadow her.
• Major career break came from serendipitous connections at parties and jam sessions, which led directly to referrals and job offers.

The Power of Serendipity—and Food (13:21–15:00)

• Christopher shares his secret for showing up at events: free food.
  “For a free meal, I would show up to your party. That’s how it was.” (13:49, Christopher)
• Many of his enduring friendships and celebrity connections grew not from calculation, but from accepting invitations and being present—often guided by “is there food there?”

Learning the Essentials—7 Do’s of Networking (18:53–41:11)

1. Step Away from the Computer and Hit the Pavement (19:08–22:51)

• Face-to-face interaction is irreplaceable.
  “Just step out and meet them… you’d be amazed at how far that goes.” (21:00, Christopher)

2. Be a Good Salesperson (22:51–25:00)

• Networking is sales—but you’re often selling yourself, not just a product.
• Learn from greats like John Paul DeJoria: “Even if you’re not trying to sell somebody something, when you're networking, you're selling yourself.” (23:21, Christopher)

3. Be Bold, but Not Pushy (25:00–30:23)

• Approach people confidently but with sensitivity to the situation.
• Oprah’s wisdom: Don’t force yourself or your product; learn when to move on.
  “If somebody didn't want to come [on my show], that's fine. Don't push on it. If they don't want to be here, why do they need to be here?” (29:12, Oprah via Christopher)

4. Be Social Media Savvy (30:23–33:00)

• Embrace digital networking, especially for those who didn’t grow up with it.
  “Adapt or die. So be social media savvy. That's big with networking.” (33:00, Christopher)

5. Don’t Burn Bridges (33:00–36:04)

• Treat everyone with respect—today’s intern could be tomorrow’s boss.
  “In any industry, there are so many young people with grand ideas. They will be your boss someday. So don’t burn a bridge.” (35:00, Christopher)

6. Have Personality—Be Open (36:04–39:21)

• Open up, share stories, and let your personality show (without being inauthentic or “the town jester”).
• Storytelling is vital for connection: “My biggest idol, hands down, was my mom. She was a great storyteller… no matter where she went, she made friends.” (36:32, Christopher)

7. Be Yourself (39:21–41:11)

• Genuine people are the most magnetic; authenticity trumps all.
• Instead of rehearsed introductions, “Don’t be afraid to talk about your dog or your mom…Those are the people others are most receptive to.” (41:00, Christopher)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the awkwardness of being an introvert in networking:
  • “I'm introverted. I'm not shy, but I'm paralyzed. It's never this compulsion for me to go out.” (03:56, Tom)
• On accidental networking:
  • “This is an empire built on free meals.” (13:49, Tom)
• On approaching people:
  • “Just get out there, be bold… If you’re trying to network, just go up and introduce yourself.” (24:30, Christopher)
• Oprah’s advice on pitching and rejection:
  • “Don’t be disappointed if some of these people don’t want to do the show and just move on from it.” (29:12, Oprah via Christopher)
• On loyalty:
  • “I'm as loyal as it gets, almost to a fault. If I deem you a friend, you would have to kill me for me to stop appreciating you.” (46:56, Christopher)
• On authenticity and team energy:
  • “If you want to be interesting, be interested. Ask questions. Really engage.” (54:03, Tom)

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Essential Timestamps

• 01:00 – Episode intro: Tom & Christopher’s homebody confession about networking
• 04:43 – Christopher’s career journey, from journalism school to CNN and talent booking
• 07:39 – Landing job at CNN “on the spot”; first lessons in networking
• 13:21 – Power of showing up; connections forged over free meals
• 18:53 – Tom asks for codified networking lessons—the Top 7 Do’s start
• 19:08 – Step 1: Hit the pavement
• 22:51 – Step 2: Be a good salesperson
• 25:00 – Step 3: Be bold, not pushy; wisdom from Oprah
• 30:23 – Step 4: Social media savvy
• 33:00 – Step 5: Don’t burn bridges
• 36:04 – Step 6: Have (and show) personality
• 39:21 – Step 7: Be yourself
• 46:40 – Loyalty and building real friendships
• 53:54 – Networking is about sincerity, not just tactics; “If you want to be interesting, be interested.”
• 56:27 – Reflections on long-term team loyalty and the power of sticking together

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Episode Highlights & Recap

• Networking isn’t just for extroverts: Both Tom and Christopher started as self-proclaimed introverts but learned to excel at networking through deliberate action.
• Be present and take chances: Many opportunities arise simply by showing up—sometimes for the free food, sometimes out of genuine curiosity.
• Network with your authentic self: Success comes from being real, open, and interested in others, rather than maintaining a transactional mindset.
• Play the long game: Relationships forged and maintained over years (even decades) provide the richest rewards.
• Loyalty matters: Deep, consistent support of your real network leads to opportunities, trust, and lasting impact.

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Closing Thoughts

The episode is a refreshing blend of practical advice and human insight, told with warmth and humor. Both Tom and Christopher drive home that meaningful networking is less about schmoozing and more about showing up, being yourself, and building loyal, reciprocal relationships that last.

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For listeners (and especially introverts) seeking to master networking, Christopher's “Top 7 Do's” are clear, actionable, and—above all—rooted in genuine human connection.

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Transcript

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[B]

You're listening to the Impact Theory podcast, your source of empowering ideas and actionable techniques from the world's highest achievers. Join host Tom Bilyeu, serial entrepreneur and co founder of the billion dollar brand Quest Nutrition, on a journey to unlock your potential and realize your vision of success. Welcome to Impact Theory. What is up everybody? Welcome Back to the 24 Hour Live. I am here with Dr. Finesse and we're going to be going hard on that Networking.

[A]

Yes, yes.

[B]

And it's so fascinating that you of all people are so good at networking because I consider you like wanting to be at home. I mean, you're sort of self professed, not somebody that would love to be out and be partying. But you are inhumanly good at networking.

[A]

So I appreciate that. I appreciate that. And you are very, very right. I love to be home. I remember one time, I want to say this is about three months ago, we didn't have a babysitter and my wife Brenda stayed home with my son Ellison. And I was out and about and I was talking to some friends and one of my friends came up to me and she goes, oh man. So Brenda's home. I'm like, yeah, she's home babysitting. She goes, so how do you guys do that when you can't get a babysitter? Do you gu flip a coin to see who gets to go? And I was like, no, we actually do the exact opposite. We flip to see who gets to stay home because we're both like the biggest homebodies.

[B]

Will you guys get a babysitter and stay home?

[A]

Actually we've done that before. We've gotten a babysitter and we're like take the kid out the house. We just want to stay home and watch our stories.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

But yeah, I know you and Lisa are also homebody in a big way. Yeah, we're exactly the same way.

[B]

It's interesting because. So the reason that we wanted to do this segment is it has become very clear to me over the last couple of years that networking is really, really important. And when I was in my 20s, you know, I'd hear things like your net worth is your network. And I don't know, like it, it didn't click, it didn't make sense. I knew enough people to like get going. My partners and I were very, a very tight knit group and so it felt like I sort of had everything that I needed and, and didn't really think about it. And then I, I, we had this employee that was working with us and he ended up getting like this really awesome lead on either a bank loan or investor, I don't remember which it was. And I remember going like how do you know that guy? And he was like, tom, when you're my age, Cause he's a little bit older. Tom, when you're my age you're going to have a Rolodex like this as well. And I remember thinking, well not with my current behavior I'm not. And so like. Cause I just always want to be at home and that's my natural inclination. I'm introverted. I'm like paralyzed. I'm not shy, I think that's important. But I am introverted. So it's like never like this compulsion for me to go out. And then on top of that you put my wife who once she started working now never wants to go out. And I have everything I need, like the woman I love. So I, I don't have the compulsion. But several years ago I started to really understand the value of meeting other people, of meeting people that are like minded, of getting fresh ideas from the outside. We were growing so fast. I was meeting all these incredible people and I just thought I should really start to be more strategic about this, more systematic about this. But I was just kind of fumbling my way through it. So what are one. How did you end up being somebody who's introverted in a homebody? How did you end up in the, the job that in fact tell people what your job is? Here, what you do, what you've been doing for a very long time at this point, and how you ended up there.

[A]

Well, here I'm the director of talent relations. All the guests that you see on Impact Theory, even people that I connect you with sometimes, you know, just getting you out there into, into the room. Cause Tom always says, get me into the room. Because although he says he is an introvert by nature and staying home, if you get Tom into the room, he's gonna do what he's gonna do. He's gonna work it out. So, so, yeah, so me, I book all the guests that you see on

[B]

Impact Theory and, and have for Tavis Smiley, our CEO.

[A]

I've been doing it for a while. I've been doing it for a while. Just to give you a quick summarized evolution of my title. I went to college for journalism and I was gung ho journalism. This is what I wanted to do. It was a very, very, very strict curriculum. They put us out there and we had to just write daily and write the biggest papers, like 50 page papers that were due every week. And we couldn't have every single week, single space, 50 page papers. And we couldn't have a single error. Yeah, a single outstanding error. Because if you did, our professor was like, that's how you get fired from a paper. That's how an editor would get rid of you. And how many words is 50 pages? God, I don't even know. But I just remember I got so fast at writing because. And it had to be a story that existed in the news. We had to take it. Oh, and sometimes it was, it was one week, it was an op ed, so we had to add our opinion another week. It had to be as objective as possible, which is was very tough to do. And it was just a tough curriculum. And the whole thing was as a journalist, she wanted to get you out there, wanted to get you writing, and you had to go out and interview people on the street. It was used either people on the street, people at the State House, or people at the place police station. And that's how it was in Boston. It was always related to those three. And but doing that, I remember right away, that was the most important lesson that she taught us was as a journalist, your network is just every element that's out there. You've got to put yourself out there and put yourself in the faces of people. You got to be inquisitive, you got to be curious. And it kind of set the stage for the beginning of networking for me. So I did that curriculum. I came out here straight from Boston and I got a job at cnn. And actually, the funny thing is, I got a job at cnn. I mean, I will say I interned there first, but I went back to graduate and I walked in the cnn. I walked into a department. I didn't even know the guy. He didn't even know I had interned there. I just walked off the street. And this was in the 90s, when you can actually walk into a building like that. And right now, it just would never happen. And I walked into the building and I basically just asked for a job. And the timing couldn't be more perfect. I asked for a job and he was just like, who are you? I was like, ah, my name is Christopher. I used to work upstairs or intern upstairs in the entertainment division. And he was like. He picked up his phone, I got a Christopher. Her. Did he intern up there? I was like, oh, is Chris here? Yeah, he's here. And they came downstairs and someone vouched for me, and he gave me a job on the spot. He said, can you start today? I was like, perfect.

[B]

Can you start today?

[A]

Can you start today? And I remember I called my girlfriend at the time. I was like, I'm not coming home working at cnn. And I remember just thinking, I was like, wow, I put myself out there. I just walked in there, introduced myself, and from there I started working at cnn. And I worked there for four and a half years. And when I was at cnn, I did everything. This is where I got to put my journalism skills. And my networking skills started to grow because they would put me out. Although I was a researcher, I was well adept at writing and speaking with people. And although they didn't have a spot for me to be a reporter, they actually let me go out and report. I wasn't on air. But you would see my thumb holding the mic, which is crazy. I'd be like, that's my thumb. And to this day, you can still see my thumb. Because a lot of times if, like, say, if there's an obituary, a video obituary on cnn, someone passes away and they show stock footage that CNN had accumulated over the years, and they would mostly, you know, show footage that they have.

[B]

We need to do, like, a montage of Christopher's thumb out in the wild.

[A]

That would be amazing. Exactly. Yeah. You would see my thumb interviewing somebody, and it's crazy. So through that, I met more and more people, and I remember I started taking advantage of it. I had a mentor, which is very important in networking, as Tom will tell you.

[B]

In fact, how'd you get the mentor?

[A]

The mentor was the music producer at cnn, Denise Kwan.

[B]

And you guys connected first. Just like, connected, or was it formally, she's your mentor.

[A]

I was an intern for her, and then when I started working at cnn, I went up to her and I told her, I said, look, and actually, this is how it happened. I was like, I am a researcher, obviously, but I want to get back to what I was doing when I was interning for you. Look, I have this amount of hours, but afterwards, I just want to follow you, go to your events with you. I will write and label the tapes of all the interviews that you do. That's all I need to do. And we were out. And she actually decided, hey, do you want to do this interview? Like, what? I don't even remember who the first person was, but I remember, actually. God, I do vaguely. I want to say it was someone like Ron Howard or something. It was like we were on the arrival line, and I did it. She was impressed. The producers were impressed back there, and they started sending me to so many events, like a lot of the award shows. But I'd mentioned this to you before. It just so happened. It took me a while to realize this, but I was going to a lot of the. The black oriented award shows. Right. Which is cool. I was cool.

[B]

I wonder why.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So I was getting myself out there and meeting folks, and then I eventually got a job at Tavis Smiley. I just happened to be at a party and I was playing guitar, and there's just a bunch of us jam banding at my friend's house, and this other guy's on the piano, this other guy's on the bass, and this one guy was on the drums. Never met him before in my life. And he goes, hey, you see him, Christopher? I was like, hey. He goes, I heard you work at cnn. I was like, yeah, I do. Because, hey, I'm starting up this show with Tavis Smiley. Are you familiar with him? I was like, hell, yeah. I used to watch him on bet and I listened to him on npr. So, yeah. Well, we're starting this new PBS show, and I'm trying to recruit people from different news outlets and collectively come together and create something of our own. Would you be into it? And I was, oh, yeah, man. And I remember I did a rift. I was like, yeah. I was like. And then he gave me his card, and the next day I called him. I was like, hey, what's up, Neil? It's Christopher McDonald. He's like, who's this? I was like, you gave me a card yesterday. You said. I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I said, hey, so who do I talk to about the job? Where do I send my resume? Do I meet with you? He was like, no, I gave you the job. I was like, what? He goes, yeah. I thought you said you wanted to do it. I was like, oh, shoot. Well, can I give two weeks? He's like, yeah, that's perfect. And I mean. And that was just per chance, right? Wow. So I started working at Tavis, and.

[B]

Well, let's actually back up. So. You have the most outrageous group of friends I've ever heard in my life. I won't name drop, but it's ridiculous. And these are people that are, like, your friends. These, like, most of them you knew before they got famous.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I want to know, how'd you end up up at that party? Who was that friend? Because you went, oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry, I didn't mention that was Bill Gates. Yeah, my bad.

[A]

Like, actually. That's funny. So the friend whose house it was, actually, it was two of them. Two of them were living in the house. One of the friends, actually, I do a book club with her, and she has at her house every month. And Casey's just joined the book club, and Courtney's gonna join. But the other friend who lived there, she was Carrie Fisher's executive assistant, which was cool because she would always invite us to Carrie Fisher's house for these cool parties. I'm completely name dropping. I'm gonna go for it. Go. Yeah. And it was really. And Fisher would have the most eclectic parties. I'm talking about. There was no discrimination about age or. Or anybody. Like, in this corner, you'd see, like, a young starlet. And I mean. And I'll name, like, somebody. It'd be, like, Scarlet Johansson in this. This corner. And then over here, Richard Dreyus and Tom Behringer. And you're like, wait, this doesn't make any sense. That'll make no sense. Tom Behringer and Richard Dreyus hanging out at a party with Scarlet Johansson. And then the Cole Kimman over here. And then, like, you know, what's his face? John Lennon's son Julian over here. And I'm just like, wait, wait, this is crazy. And she would have these. Just a bunch of people getting together, just eating her food and hanging out and having a good time. She was, like, truly a great person, and she knew so many people. Speaking of networking, you would go to her party and all of Hollywood would be there. And especially because her mom was Debbie Reynolds. So you would see these old classic stars there also. And. And people would just get together and network, and you would just meet the most amazing people. And. And through that, you would meet more people.

[B]

Were you going intentionally? Because you're like the classic example of put yourself in danger of something amazing happening, right? So you show up at the party, which is like step number one. And was that intentional? Like, I never know who I'm going to meet. So you know what? I'm going to go.

[A]

Actually, no, it was. Okay. I'll be honest. I'll be completely honest. Especially in my 20s. When I was in my 20s, if someone invited me to a party, the homebody in me would want to stay home. The natural inclination, like, I want to stay home. But they would taunt me with a certain thing, and it would always get me. Or I would ask a certain thing, and it would always get me. I would always ask, is there going to be food there? And if there was food there, I would be there in a heartbeat. For a free meal. For a free meal, I would show up to your party. That's how it was when I was.

[B]

So this is an empire built on free meals. That's what I'm hearing.

[A]

I'm telling you. I'm telling you, there was a free meal. Same thing with events and parties of, like, if I. If it was just open bar, like I said, open bar. And especially in my 20s, I didn't drink at all. Like, I. No, I don't want to go. But if there was food, I would go, and I'd pop up there. And circling back to my friends, it just so happened the school I went to and the school my brother went to was a school that involved, you know, either working in the arts, film, journalism, and television and media. So almost everyone you come out with, or at least everyone, like 95 of people who went to my school, Emerson College, came out here for the industry. So somewhere along the way, we're all hustling, we're all bustling. Someone's gonna break. Someone is gonna break and become somebody. Hit on the mean. Yeah. And hit. And then you look back and you're like, holy crap. You know? And people ask like, well, how do you know that person? How do you know that celebrity? I'm like, actually, I was just someone I went to college with. So that's how it happened. And then the more that happens, the more people you meet, because suddenly, I mean, you see it all the time. Celebrities get invited everywhere. It's kind of unfair. It's like they get crazy swag with watches and Rolexes and iPads and. And we get, like, wristbands, and I'm just like, come on, man, like, hook me up. But because they get to go everywhere, you know, sometimes they take you along and you meet the most insane people and that. So, yeah, circling back to that party, that's how I met that guy. And I was at Tavis. So when I was at Tavis, I had decided there wasn't a focus, a full focus on the music guests, because Tavis would interview politicians and celebrities. Celebrities could include musicians, but not necessarily. We didn't have a music segment, so to speak. Right. So I went to my executive producer, and he was so open minded. If you had a great idea, I love that about him. And I went to him and I said, hey, I think we should have a music segment. I was like, I don't care if I don't want to. I don't want you to pay me more. Nothing. I just want to be the music producer. I want to show you that I can create a music segment. Because all these other late night shows at the time were only letting artists perform. And at the end of the show, when everyone tuned out, like, the numbers are there. People tune out at the end of talk shows. They just do because they're late. And music is so polarizing that people tend not to watch. But I was like, I told him I could bring musicians here, and I believe they would love to talk and have the opportunity to present themselves, and that would separate us from the rest of the other, the other late night shows. He was like, okay. And I was like, so I can do that. And he's like, yeah. So I had something to prove. So this was my first step of really getting out there and becoming a networker. Because.

[B]

Did you understand? Because when you break down the process now of booking and what it takes and the way that you have to understand the different people, what they look for, who their clients are, like, did you understand any of that then? Or does is this the beginning of you really sort of understanding that world?

[A]

There's a phrase that we all know, especially in business, I guess, and that I love and I, and I live by, although it's a little scary, is to fake it till you make it right. And, and all I again, I like to be home, but I know when I'm out there, there's something about. I thought this sounds corny, but I. Ooh, look at that. You got yourself a meal Right. Thank you. Yes, yes, I could.

[B]

I could smell it for like the last 15 minutes. I'm like, they were bringing the fucking food.

[A]

Like, are you messing with me? Yeah, Real quick. I took a moment to give it up to this man for being. This is like my second hour and I'm tired.

[B]

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[A]

Enjoy your meal. So, yeah, so fake it till you make it. And I knew that I thrive off the energy of people. I could be dog tired, but just to throw this in there. I grew up in an army brat, and I moved every three or four years, so to speak, around the world. And one thing that, that helped me do was reinvent myself and. And find a way to talk your way out of things. Find your way to meet and, you know, just associate with all types of people. Because I would always move. And every time you moved, you had to make new friends. Regardless. You had to make new friends. I would leave one school, I would leave Japan and then move to Kentucky and talk about a culture.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is that a real one?

[A]

That was a real change. Japan to Kentucky. And I remember thinking right around that time, that's when I really had to figure out a way to get myself out there and talk to people. And everyone was doing it. Everyone I grew up with, they all moved to. But it helped me warm up to people and appreciate people. It wasn't just like, oh, I'm just talking to people, because I'm talking to people and I. And I want to be that guy. You just learn to appreciate people and you see all different types of cultures, all different types of people in different situations. But you realize everyone has the same common denominator. You know what I mean? That they just all want to relate in some way or fashion, and you just start to learn how to speak with people, how to connect with them, you know, and not to say that I'm an expert on connecting with people.

[B]

So let's act like you are, because I think you are. Certainly from my perspective. So what are some of the. Like, have you codified what those lessons are?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I. I really have. So I actually have a top seven dues of networking, which I can get to. Oh, I guess. Yes.

[B]

Get on that camera. Hey.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

All right, so we've got the. The seven. What were the seven what?

[A]

The top seven do's of network. All right, let's hear it. Yeah. Okay, so I'll break them down. And I'm pointing. I have it on my phone. Step away from the computer and hit the pavement. Right.

[B]

If you work in university maintenance. Grainger considers you an MVP because your

[A]

playbook ensures your arena is always ready for tip off. And Grainger is your trusted partner, offering the products you need all in one

[B]

place, from H vac and plumbing supplies

[A]

to lighting and more. And all delivered with plenty of time left on the clock. So your team always gets the win. Call 1-800-GRAINGER visit grainger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done. We are in a world. And again, let me preface by saying these are my dues. They're not applicable to everyone, but I highly suggest them because I've put them into action for almost 20 years and they work. So we're in a world of computers and our phones and being able to communicate with people. The age of information through our computers and phones, that's just the world we're in. So it's made it really easy to meet people, but not having to physically meet them. And I've actually had that happen. Like there are publicists that I've worked with for years. For years I've been communicating with them. I've booked with them since 2003 and I've never met them in person. Whoa. Ever met them in person. But most cases those are people who either on the east coast, because I deal with a lot of people on the east coast and we just never, our paths will never cross. And there are people I, I just met recently after knowing them for about 20 years and it's crazy. So. But if they're local, it's still easy to just, oh, you know, I'm communicating with this person, I'm pitching them something or I'm asking something of them. But no, just step out and meet them. And this will correlate to the story I was talking about earlier when I wanted to be the music producer. So I tried to figure out, how am I going to do this? So my first attempt was to send this email blast. I just found out who every major label publicist was at the time. There were many because the music industry was slowly fading away or fading into what it is now. But they still had many publicists working at each label. So I did an email blast. Some of them bit, some of them got back to me, but it didn't quite fully work. And I crafted like the nicest email. I just didn't want to cold call them, whatever. And then I finally decided, I was like, you know what? No, you know what? I do better in person, talking to someone. And then no matter who you are, if you speak to someone and just present yourself, oh, man, it's. It's going to go a long way. So I actually started inviting all these publicists individually out for drinks. And that's one thing I learned, especially in the music industry. These music publishers, they love to drink. You know what I mean? Not that there were alcoholics, but they had a really tough job to do, and they have a really tough job to do. So if you just invited them to wine, not to get drunk, just to hang out, they would come out. So just face to face time. And you'd be amazed at how far that goes. I mean, that sounds so cliche. Oh, get up, get off your butt, and don't communicate over the computer. But so many people are guilty of doing it. I have people talk to me all the time who are getting into booking or getting into networking, and they're like, oh, yeah, I hit up this guy and I. I can't get him to really get back to me. Have you spoken to him at all on the phone? Yes, I have. Have you talk to him on email? Yes, we've spoken on email. Have you invited him out to drinks? No, I haven't done that. Is that weird? Like, what? No, that's not weird. So although it seems so common and so, you know, matter of fact, people don't do it. People don't get out there. So that's my number one. Like, hit the pavement. Because if you're not getting out there and hitting the pavement and getting the face to face, like, just. You haven't.

[B]

You're dead.

[A]

Started. You haven't even started. My second one is just being a good salesperson. And that sounds so sleazy. A salesperson. I'll never forget the first time someone asked me about booking and asked me about my network and. And I described it and they said, oh, so you're a salesperson? I was like, oh, God, no. It's like, I'm not a salesperson. Yeah. And I was like, what'd you say? What you call me, what you said about my mom. It was basically that I was like, don't call me a salesperson. But they broke it down to me. They're like, no, you're a salesperson because for you specifically, you're selling yourself as a person trying to get their product, whatever, right? Or trying to. And then you're also selling the show that you work for, and you're also selling the host. You know what I mean? And I was like, man, holy crap, I am a salesperson. Don't look at it really badly. Like, you know, you're being a salesperson, so you should actually take a cue. And, and he gave me this advice. He was like, see what, you know, some of the great salespeople do and what they did. I mean, you don't have to emulate them completely because it's not fully what you're doing, but check it out. So I started paying attention to great salespeople and not this person, for example, but, you know, you. You interviewed one of the greatest salespeople that we know in our business history, and that's John Paul DeJoria. Like, you can't get any better than that guy. That guy, like, actually went door to door and built a business, a billion dollar business. How many people can say they did that? So, I mean, he obviously knew the value and the sales pitch. So. So when you become a great salesperson, you're not just being a salesperson, you're practicing the sales pitch. Because that is probably the number one thing of networking. Because even if you're not trying to sell somebody something, when you're networking, you're selling yourself, right? You're selling your personality, you're selling just your connection, and it's your sales pitch. And, and when you're speaking with someone, you don't have to be sleazy and be systematic and have a sales pitch, but just keep it in mind. Keep it in mind what you're saying. And all of a sudden it becomes second nature. Like you're breathing to them who you are, and you're not just. It's not diarrhea of the mouth and taking over what they're saying, but it's a sales pitch. And. And it just goes a long way. I mean, it's a big thing in network. It's a huge thing. So my number three is to be bold, but not pushy. Get out there, be bold. Don't be afraid. I mean, you see it all the time. It goes back to the high school dance when you're standing around. I never had a date to the high school dance except for prom, but you're standing around, and I just remember standing around and looking at, you know, the girls across the way and the guys are all standing around and some guys are just going for it and you're just trying to figure out how to approach. And I just wasn't bold then. I just was not bold. I'm still not bold. God, if I. If I was single now and I had to go to a dance, forget it. I wouldn't do it. But it's the same thing with networking. How many times do you go to a party and you're like, oh my God, this feels like crap, like there are people over there. I just, you know, every single time. Yeah, yeah, I, and I, I, I'm even guilty of it sometimes I'm with my wife and we're just with each other in the corner the entire night. The entire night. But if you're trying to network, just go up and be bold and introduce yourself. And again, it's some people like that's not being bold if you introduce yourself. But it's bold to so many people. Just introduce yourself. Don't be afraid to slide into a conversation, don't straight up interrupt, gauge it. But you get better at gauging what they're talking about, knowing that you shouldn't insert yourself. But don't be afraid to do it. People are, especially at a network and gathering or business gathering, people are very welcome into that. So be bold, but not pushy. Don't push yourself in there. Know when to step away or just even, you know, when you're trying to sell someone on something. Just don't be pushy. It's just gross. It's gross. In booking if someone and I actually got this tip from Oprah and I'm sure, Courtney, I'm sure, like Oprah directly. Yes, yes. I actually, I did a show with Oprah. It was a short lived show. It was a show with Tyrese Gibson from Fast and Furious fame and the singer and Rev Run from Run dmc. And it was a show about those two giving advice to women. But not like, oh, you should do this, but this is what, how we think as men. So take that nugget and you know, and you can get, you know, what's going on our mentality. But Oprah, during the whole process, we would have these meetings with her where we were developing. The show was already greenlit, but we had to develop the segments and we would meet with her. And we had this one big meeting where we were sitting around this big long table with Oprah Winfrey. And I remember they had a whole spread of food in the other room and it was a make your own salad. And they capitalized ow, your own salad. And I was like, ooh. And they had all these ingredients and I was like, oh my God, oh my God. And I was like making this, I made this big ass plate of food again, free food. I'm going to be there and I'm going to eat that food.

[B]

So I made ask if that's why

[A]

you were at the, like, wait, Oprah's having a little gathering. Is there going to be food there? Okay, I'll be there. So pretty much no. But I would have gone regardless. So I made this big plate of food and I went into the room and everyone was already seated. And when I get there, for some reason, out of everyone in that room, because there were about 25 people in that room, Oprah and a good chunk of her staff, and then me, my executive producer, the co executive producer, and Tyrese and Tyrese's manager. And I sit down and across the table is Tyrese and Oprah, and there's an empty seat across from them. And I'm like, what? How's the seat open for me? I'm like, I'm nobody. But I guess no one wanted to sit in their eyesight. So I sat down with this big ass plate and I looked around and no one has a plate. No one. I'm like, why isn't anybody eating? No one. And I was starving, Tom. My stomach was growling and I was like, picking at my food. I was eating my food like this because I didn't want to be chewing loudly while Oprah was talking.

[B]

I'm literally leaning away from the mic as you're telling this story about wanting to eat carefully. So I get it.

[A]

Yeah, it was terrible. And then. But I remember we got to the point of booking and all the attention came on me. So let's talk about guests and who we're going to get for this show. My executive producer was like, oh, yeah. So we have all these ideas, and he's talking about he's throwing out all these big names like Will and Jada, Bradley Cooper and so and so and this person and that person, like all these big names. And I remember Oprah was like. And I was like, why is she making that face? And she goes, good luck getting those people. I was like, oh, wow. She talk, taking a dig in me that I'm not going to get those people. And then she goes, no, no, no. I'm not saying that. It's just tough getting those folks. And then she said, you know what? Don't be disappointed if some of these people don't want to do the show and just move on from it. She goes, I come from the school of if I found out no one wanted to do my show when I was doing my main stage show, if somebody didn't want to come, that's fine. Don't push on it. If they don't want to be Here. Why do they need to be here? Don't push. So that was a huge thing for me. That was a huge thing for me. I was like, why? Well, you know, if someone doesn't want to buy your product or someone doesn't want to buy what you're presenting to them, don't be too pushy. You know what I mean? Step away and understand their. There will be an opportunity where they'll figure out and see that you're the bomb. Just like how people. I can't believe I said the bomb. I don't think I've ever even said that. I don't think I've ever said that. This is the first. The bomb. I hope my wife's not watching this. God, that's crazy. Oh, my God.

[B]

This is Dr. Finesse, everybody. Dr.

[A]

Finesse. So, yeah, so, I mean, because there. I mean, I can't tell you enough, and I know you know this more than anybody. There are people who have passed on impact theory, right? There are people who have passed on you as a host, Tom, Billy, because they're like, wait, who's this guy? And.

[B]

But.

[A]

And I push a little bit because I'm tenacious, but not too much, because deep down I'm like, you know what? There is going to be a time, and I've seen this happen so many times, where you're selling yourself, you're networking, and someone's not giving you the time of day with the network, and they just kind of move on from you. But you just stay the course, keep your confidence, because there's going to be failure in that work. And there's going to be people who don't want to network with you or don't want to be a connection with you, and they're going to figure it out. They're going to be like, wow, somewhere down the line, this person is someone I should know. So that's just not being too pushing. The fourth one, I actually have to learn myself. But this is big, and this is one thing that we're all learning here. One thing that Gary Vee always pushes is be social media savvy. Because, look, we are in a new age. I was one of those people that held out. I was like, I'm not on social media. I live in today. I don't need social media. Right? Get that out my face. And I didn't have anything. People couldn't find me anywhere. I was on Facebook years ago, but I quit years ago, and I didn't have anything. I didn't have Instagram at the Time. And I just remember just being a holdout. But I was seeing people network that way. Like, hey, how'd you find out about that event? How'd you find out about that person? They're like, on Facebook. I was like, what? Facebook? Yeah. Or like, oh, Instagram. I'm like, Instagram. And to me, that was foreign. I was like, wait, you didn't just call them or show up? They're like, no, this is like, there's like a network of folks or there are pages where people talk in meetings of the minds online. And it's. And again, like, to our viewers, I'm sure they're like, of course, you gotta be social media savvy. But there, there are ways to be social media savvy and put that into action. And, and I say that to the folks who are, I guess, our age, who are bicentennial babies and who didn't grow up with it. Didn't grow up with it. And, and use the power of actually knocking on the door or going to the network. And it's kind of a juxtaposition. What, I'm the computer, but you, there's a time and place for it. You've got to take advantage and realize, adapt or die. So be social media savvy. That's big with networking. Number five. This is. Although this is number five out of seven, this is my biggest one. Really. This is my most important one. Maybe because it's an even number. I'm sure Jared likes that I have a top seven instead of a top five or a top ten. A little odd number out because I had a top five at first and I was like, Jared's going to like cringe if he sees that. So top five, don't burn any bridges. That is a no brainer. But that's good advice. Yeah. But I mean, we all know that people get angry when it comes to people people people to people relations. People lose their mind and get angry and they see red and they're like, man, screw that person. Like, not to put out any names, but you were just in a, a situation that you talked about briefly here and there where things didn't go as you like. Yeah. And it wasn't as favorable as you like. Right. But you handle that like a champ. We had gathering the impact hour. Next time you guys, next impact hour that Cindy puts together. You guys have got to come, even if you're not in Los Angeles. Come. You meet great people. You know, I mean, as viewers, all the viewers here are great people. And we've met Some great viewers. So impact hour. But you're at impact hour, and you had just done that shoot, and you're so gracious about it, and you realize that you're like, you're not going to burn a bridge. Because somewhere along the way, he may figure it out. You know what I mean? And he may figure it out who you are. And believe me, I know for a fact, like, he's gonna come running. He's gonna come running. And I. And I see it all the time. I remember I learned that really early when I started at cnn. I interned for a lot of older folks, and there was one guy who always used to joke, he's like, you're gonna be. I'm gonna be working for you one day. I'm gonna be working for you one day. That was his joke to the point where I was like, this guy in his joke. But I was like, that was always his goodbye. You know how some people were like, hey, goodbye. See you later. Some people are like, hey, I catch you later. Gonna be working for you someday. That was him. And I was like, man. But the funny thing is, later on down the line, we ended up being producing and booking partners at Tavis. I interned for this guy at Entertainment Tonight in cnn, and we ended up working on the same level, Lisa, for her show sheroic. When Cassie Ho was here and Access Hollywood came here and covered her. I'm sitting here on the couch over here at my computer, and Access Hollywood shows up, and the reporter walks in, the on camera reporter walks in, and I look and I'm like, Alex. And it was this young woman who used to intern for me, really, at Tavis Smiley, and now she's an on air personality, and it's doing so well. And it blew my mind. I was like, wait, what? You're on Access Hollywood. And I remember she came to me and she told me, she's like, wow, you were always so, so nice to me. Always so nice to me. You were the only booker and producer over there who didn't treat me like a minion, who wasn't cruel, who didn't, like, think he was holier than thou. And I was like, I don't understand why people think that way. That's so crazy, because in any industry, especially where we're, you know, the way things are going now, I mean, there are so many young people with grand ideas. There are so many young CEOs. They will be your boss someday. So don't burn a bridge or don't burn a bridge anywhere up or down. Whatever. Because people think it's just the trajectory is like this. Oh, no, it's all over the place, right? It's like time. So I don't understand why anyone on the right Mount Burn Bridges. Okay, so number six, have personality, plain and simple. I don't mean, like, be like, well, you know, like a town jester or anything, but just have some personality. You know, we all go to networking parties, and sometimes I meet people at networking parties, and whether it's their true personality or not, I'm not saying to fake it, but. And my next point goes along these lines. Just open yourself up. And I feel like it's so hard for people, and they're so afraid to open themselves up. Even if your personality is like, hey, I'm John Smith. You know what I mean? Just try to open yourself up a little bit.

[B]

So you're famous here at Impact Theory for being just an unbelievably good storyteller, as evidenced by the fact that I almost spit my burger on the floor a few minutes ago. Is that something that you've practiced?

[A]

No, I think I get it from my mom.

[B]

I think you start inviting your mom to team lunches, your stories are everywhere.

[A]

If we could invite my mom here, I'd be really excited because she's passed away. That's fine.

[B]

Like.

[A]

Cause she is, hands down. She was like. When she passed away, at her funeral, there were people showing up at her funeral. I was like, who the hell is this person? I was like. And my dad was like, who is this? And that was a testament to her character. No matter where she went, she made friends because she was such a great storyteller. No matter where she went. I even got a call last week from this guy crying. I was like, who is this? And he goes, christopher. I was like, yeah, I'm a friend of your mom's. I knew her for years. I just found out she passed away. I decided to Google her, and I'd never heard of the guy in my life. And I remember there was a point where I was like, you know, my mom, you know, we're getting together for dinner at some point. I'm gonna get to the bottom of that. But, yeah, so it's just like. But she was a great storyteller, and she was so funny and charismatic, and everyone has an idol. You know what I mean? Everyone has an idol, and I have tons of idols. But, man, my biggest idol, hands down, was my mom. Like, I would watch how she would talk to people and watch how fascinated they were and how she would just genuinely be interested in what people were thinking and what she was saying to people. And I mean that by saying it wasn't calculated, but she would pay attention to what she was saying to people and seeing what it was evoking.

[B]

Right. She's not phoning it in.

[A]

Yeah, she's there. Yeah, exactly. She's very present. Yeah. Like, if she's saying something and it was evoking some type of emotion of happiness, she would stick to it. If she said something and she saw that it would turn people off, she would kind of pull back or even apologize. You know what I mean? She was very in tune. And I would study my mom. She was just that person. My dad was the exact opposite. Military guy. He's probably said one and a half words his entire life, and he was probably like, fuck you. That's probably like, his words. But he just doesn't say much. And my two older brothers, the same thing. They don't say much. So I just got that from my mom. And it wasn't even like, I'm going to try to be like my mom. It was just exciting. And I just got my personality from. I would say. And so, yeah, so my personality, I guess I know it's not everybody's personality, but just. When I say have personality again, don't fake it, but just open yourself up and realize that if you're just hanging your head and keeping your brow low, no one's going to be receptive. Just open up. Even if you're the most. The biggest, you know, introvert, it's not going to kill you. Now.

[B]

All right, before we get to seven, I want to say we've got our giveaway for this segment. We're giving away books. Captivate. If you guys have read. This is absolutely amazing. We're giving a bunch of copies of that away. And the question to win the books is, what are the five love languages? What are the five love languages? All right, so drop that answer into the feed, and later in this, we'll announce the winner of that. All right, now, drum roll number seven.

[A]

Number seven. So you have to have personality essay. But. But most important, and this may sound like it's contradicting the other one, but just be yourself. Just be yourself. I mean, I see it time and time again when I go to these networking events or when I'm, you know, because sometimes I get banned bulls in the network events. That happens a lot. By free food. By free food. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. So this example does involve free food. This is like, I'M not thinking, but I mean, there's so many times, like, where a publicist say, hey, Chris, let's get. Let's have dinner and talk about my clients and your show, whatever. I'm like, that's great. And I'd get to the dinner and it's. And it'd be this huge table. I'm like, wait, what is this, the Last Supper? Like, what are we doing? Like, why is it just. It's just you and me. And then all of a sudden, a bunch of other bookers would show up. Like the booker from Fallon, the booker from Kimmel, the booker from so and so booker from this radio show. And we all have the same look on our face, like, what the hell just happened? And she would just be bamboozled. But we'd all end up being forced into networking with each other, right? So. But you just learn to be yourself. Like, you don't. You know, you don't have to fake it, and you're sitting down and you see it all the time. Or someone. It's just kind of robotic. And it's hard. I get it. Meeting someone. And they just start asking the very systematic questions. No, talk about your day. Don't be afraid to talk about your dog. Don't be afraid to talk about, you know, your mom. You know, I mean, it's just like, don't just be yourself. Because, I mean, again, moving around all my life, that's the one thing that I've noticed that the people who are always genuinely themselves and who are honest with themselves and honest with you and opened up, cried if they had to or whatever, those are the people who. Not just me, who I was receptive to, I've noticed who other people receptive to, because that's the one thing there's. I mean, if there's one thing I've studied growing up was popularity and how people became popular. Not.

[B]

You studied that because you're going from

[A]

school to school, going school to school to school. I was fascinated with it because you would go from one school and this person would be popular. You're like, wait, what? That guy's popular? Oh, my God. In my last school, he would be getting his ass kicked. You know what I mean? And it was just always that. And there's a story I always tell that when I went to middle school in Kentucky, there was a kid in my class, he was short. You know, he just had that kind of traditional goofy look. People didn't pick on him, though. But he just was not, you know, he wasn't the popular kid. And. But, you know, we were cool. And I remember I felt so bad because he, in class, he sharted. Now, for those who don't know what a shard is, it's, sorry, we're getting into this, but it's when you fart and your pants. And he did that. And I remember feeling so awful for him and everyone. Like, I forgot exactly what his last name was. Actually, I wouldn't say, I won't say it, but they combined his last name with the word shart and it just was just sad. And I remember I moved to Germany years later. I was a sophomore in high school and I moved to Germany and there was this kid who was the most popular kid in school. He was like 6 foot 4, handsome. He was the tight end. And I was like, man, that guy is cool. I could just tell. And I remember I looked at, I said, wait, why does that guy look familiar? I know that guy. I was like, oh my God. It was the kid who started in sixth grade and he had moved to Germany and reinvented himself and became the most popular kid in school.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And I remember thinking like, oh my God, that's crazy. And I became so obsessed and fascinated with that. But the one thing I've noticed, and coincidentally there's an article, I think it was like business journal or somebody just put out an article recently that basically said, God, I have to Google. You can Google it. Something about the most popular people in school tend to be. Or maybe it was in captivating. Tend to. It might have been captivating tend to be people who are nice, you know what I mean? People who are genuinely open and genuinely friendly. And people are receptive to that. So that comes back to my point. This guy, he was a genuinely nice guy when he sharted his pants sixth grade. And he was popular and like an all star tight end and everyone loved him. And he was still genuinely nice.

[B]

When you manage procurement for multiple facilities, every order matters. But when it's for a hospital system, they matter even more. Grainger gets it and knows there's no time for managing multiple suppliers and no room for shipping delays. That's why Granger Operations offers millions of products in fast, dependable delivery so you can keep your facility stocked, safe and running smoothly. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click granger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done. It's so interesting. So being genuine is something that I think is actually hard for people to do. And when you look at people that really become successful in acting or even, like, in my own small way, I think Inside Quest started getting good when I stopped trying to hide the things that I found interesting, even if they were weird. And I stopped trying to hide my enthusiasm. And if somebody said something that made me go, oh, like, I would actually do that. Right. And that was when, like. But that's real, right? That, like, great. When I was first doing the episodes, it was like, oh, that's excellent. Thank you for coming on, you know, and it was like I had this vision of what an interviewer was supposed to be.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And so I wasn't able to bring anything unique because I wasn't being myself. And when, as you're explaining this, and admittedly, I've never really taken the time to break down why you're so good at what you do. And hearing you talk about it, I realized you're insanely likable and there's a reason. Like. Like, if somebody came and watched our team lunches, it would just be like, oh, well, that's the center of attention in this universe because everybody is paying attention to you. Everybody wants to hear your stories. We've learned not to put the pressure on you to start the stories. But you're so charismatic, and everybody's so captivated, and it's like, if you're not there for a team lunch, you'll be like, oh, there's no Christopher to, like, tell the stories. And so it really does become clear as you're going through your list of the things that being able to be what I call, in my words, defenseless. So when people aren't being themselves, they have defenses up. They've got pretenses. There's that armor that makes them feel comfortable. But it's such a bad strategy because you don't respond to it in other people. What you do respond to is a guy that's totally real, really. And it admittedly, you become a filtering mechanism. Not everyone is going to respond to the real you, but the people that respond are going to respond hard. And I don't think it's a mistake or an accident that of everyone here. And I'd be curious to know if everybody agrees with this. I think they will. That you seem to have the broadest number of friends that you've been friends with for the longest period of time, and they seem like really real relationships. Now, we all obviously only get your side of the story, so secretly, all of these people may hate you and be fucking Christopher again. Certainly not how it reads.

[A]

Yeah, I. If there's one thing, if God, if I were to add a 7.5 to being yourself and the 7 dues of networking, it's just being loyal because loyalty

[B]

goes along that you're. You've got a hardcore definition of that.

[A]

Yeah. Loyal to me is. I'm as loyal as it gets, almost to a fault. And when it comes to my friends, since you mentioned my friends, if you're my friend and I consider you my friend, man, I'm so loyal. I don't. It's like you would have to kill me for me to stop appreciating you. You know what I mean? If I got to a point where I deemed you a friend, like, I understand human nature. People make mistakes. People make really big mistakes. And you've got to understand at some point. Point, it's human nature. Now, there may be. You got to just gauge how many people, how many times they've made the mistake and how many times they've wronged you. Of course. But if it's just one wrong one. Because I see friendships fall apart all the time over a trivial wrong. And I'm like, oh, no, no, think about it. Think about what you guys have gained and what you guys, everything you've been through, experience, the shared experiences. And I'm very loyal. And I apply that to my network into, oh, my God, like, it's. Here's a big thing. Another reason why it's hard for me. I don't commit to too many things. Because if I say yes to something and I know you're this way too.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You show up. Like that one time flu gate that ran through the house when everyone got the flu, and we had Jim Kwik here and another guest, and you had the worst flu. And I was like, is Tom gonna do this show? And I remember Lisa was like, tom, you should. You should cancel.

[B]

Yeah, we'll cancel.

[A]

We'll reschedule. And you're like, what? And because you're loyal to your guest, you're loyal to your show, you're loyal to your staff. And you always say this, and I love this. You're like, I will show up for you. And I love that about you.

[B]

Thank you, man.

[A]

And I think you completely get that just being loyal. That's my definition. I mean, I'm curious to hear.

[B]

Yeah, well, so it's interesting. I'm. I am insanely loyal. But like, you, there's a ring, and if you're on the outside of that ring, I don't. I don't feel an obligation. So I'm not gonna. You. I'm just not gonna show up for you. I'm not gonna go out of my way to make sure that the world is right for you. But once you get inside that ring, then it's like it's do or die. And there's gotta be a group of people that really know to the core. And this is the key. They have to feel it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not be able to recite words. They have to feel it that you're gonna show up. And that's, that's, you know, one of the things here. So by nature, I like team building a lot. And there's a reason that I have absolutely. When I say Zero Hunger. Zero hunger to be a founder. I like to be a co founder. I like to do things as a team. I like to have a group of people that, like, we're all together. We're in this together. A shared experience that's really, really important to me. But it's. It is so, like, key to who I am and important to my code that I live by. That the team feel that I'm gonna. That I would suffer for them. Lead from the front. I'm always gonna show up. I'm gonna play to win that. It's like no men left behind. Like all of those things, but not that they can repeat that I say it, but that they feel it, like, in their gut. And that's hard. And one of the simple steps is if you say you're gonna do it, do it. And I remember Lisa and I had committed to something and. And in my defense, she committed me without talking to me. And she was like, I am so sorry. I had no idea. I thought they were just asking me, but I find out that they're asking both of us. And so I was like, well, here's the great news. There's no universe in which we don't show up. So, like, you're, you know, for better or worse. So it's like, if you've gotten us into something, even though I wish you hadn't, if we're in it, you told them that we're coming then. And it's just that simple. And the clarity that comes with having that code and being centered by that, I think is super critical.

[A]

It goes the longest way. It's like, you've got to show that you're supporting the person you're networking with, because if you don't, they're going to think you're just out to get something from them and not reciprocate. Reciprocation is a huge thing for me. And it's a huge thing. In booking. I'll speak in terms of booking. You've got to scratch someone's back again. When I was at. At Tavis, and I had to get out there and meet with those publicists and say, hey, I'm doing a music segment, and I want to bring musicians to this show, I had to do my due diligence. I couldn't just be like, hey, give me, you know, Jay Z, and I won't take any of the other clients. You know what I mean? You. It was tit for tat. Obviously, you couldn't compromise what the show was, but you had to. I mean, it went a long way. It showed your loyalty to the person that you're networking with, because if you show that you're supporting their needs and their cause, man, they will die for you, too. Of course, some people will stab you in the back and not reciprocate, but I found that if you're genuinely shown that you're loyal to them and you get that out of the way really quickly by saying you meet someone and say, hey, let's get together. And one thing I always did. Oh, my God. It's one of my favorite things to do, and it happened on accident. The first time my wife has this thing, she always laughs and says, I talk too much. And my son, I. I just. Sometimes I want to just blow my brains out because that kid talks too much, and it drives me insane. My mom's like, my mom, my bro, my brother. Like, am I drunk? My wife says, where do you think he gets that from? I'm like, oh, my God. And it just would drive me insane. But so this first meeting I had, I remember one of the first meetings I had, I was out, and I met with this publicist, and I wanted to see what she could do for the show. As we're working for. So we're having this network conversation, but we never really quite got to the meat of networking. It was mostly me finding out about her because I have this crazy curiosity about people. I think it's because I've moved around so much. I want to know where someone's from. That's what I always ask people. Where are you from? Because it kind of defines them. It really does. People act the same in different areas, so to speak. So I asked that, and then I started hearing about it. I was like, oh, my God, you're from there. Tell me about it. Or this and that. I used to live there. Or so on. And at the end of the dinner, we Were out of time. She had someplace to be. And I remember her being like, oh, you didn't even get to talk. You didn't tell me about the show or, you know, And I remember I didn't get to sell my product to her, so to speak. And I was like, no, that's fine. I'm glad I got to talk with you and got to meet you and. And I moved on. And I remember she was so excited. Sent me an email the next day. It was great to meet you. Let's hang out again. That was fun. Let's have drinks. I'm gonna begin. The next time, it was her and another publicist and we hit it off again. And I was like, oh, my God. And it just made me realize you don't have to be selling the product every time you're networking. Take advantage of the networking and be on a level of person to person. And it was like the. One of the biggest lessons. And that became a tactic. I will admit. I became tactical when it came to that. I turned that into a tactic. I was like, oh, yeah, let's get together. And I, you know, this talk shop. And then I'd be like, so tell me about yourself. And suddenly, like, we hit it off. But it's. And it wasn't just a tactic. I honestly did want.

[B]

Yeah, then you actually engage and you be sincere and authentic and all that stuff. But I don't think there's anything wrong with that being also a tactic as long as the way you engage in it is.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

And so that, to me, is really smart because that's a classic example of playing the long game. Right. So never go for the sale, always go for the referral. And if you treat them well and you actually care about what's going on, look, it's going to come back. You know what I mean? Like, this is one thing that I love about is just when you take them on average, not any. Any individual, but when you take them on average, they're very predictable. So if you want to be interesting, be interested. Right. So just asking about her finding, I don't think I made that up. But yeah, if you want to be interesting, be interested. Ask them a lot of questions. Really engage. Actually, like, people love to talk about themselves. And look, I'm more guilty than most people. I'm literally on here for 24 hours. Like, hey, hey, hey, let me tell you all about me. People love to talk about themselves, and it's just a trait. And so when you can go, look, this isn't going to pay off for me tonight. But if I do this, over a hundred people, and if 40 of them end up becoming something because I put in that work five years from now, I'm unstoppable. And that's why. And I think one of the reasons that sometimes people think that I have hubris when I say that we're going to build a studio bigger than Disney is because they think, I think it's going to happen in 10 years. It's not going to happen in 10 years. Right. So. So thankfully, it's not going to be binary. We're going to make progress every day and we're going to be doing stuff and building momentum and all that. But, I mean, this is a 50, 60 year endeavor. And when you can think along those lines, when you can think about, okay, this is, you're really starting something grand, you have to be able to execute in the short term, but if your plans are to go all out for the next, I mean, think about what we can do, man. Like, imagine for a second that we become the YouTube of, like, companies and we just stick together. And this isn't like, like the, the average right now for millennials is 1.8 years. They spend 1.8 years at any one company and then they move on. So the, the way that you have to, like, retrain and you lose all that historical knowledge and all that is just really, really a travesty in terms of creating efficiencies and trust and moving fast. So you two said we were never going to go solo, right? So for sure, Bono could have gone solo, maybe the Edge could have gone solo. But they didn't. And they said specifically, our career is about finding out what happens when this group of people stays together forever through thick and thin. And now how long? I'm 30 years.

[A]

I mean, it's been longer than that. Yeah. Because, I mean, they were like playing the roller rink in Van Nuys, like, even before they hit it big, because one of my friends used to kind of manage them.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Our managed maybe the roller rink. And they would always play this roller rink in Van Nuys. Like, hey, what, like in the. It was like 81 or something like that. It was crazy. Oh, something very early. I'm probably getting the date wrong, but

[B]

yeah, but they've been around for a very, very long time. So when you see them, them stay together for that long through thick and thin, I mean, they're just, they'll be one of the bands that are remembered forever. And so I, you know, I think about that and I think about, what does this look like if we can really be long term, right? Which is one of the reasons Lisa and I are so committed. Not only equity, but if we never sell, that's not important. What becomes important, though, is enriching people through profits and making sure that you guys are incentivized like that. Which is fascinating to me because cash flow is the exciting thing, right? When it's. I remember there was a time where I was very wealthy on paper, but I was like, what does that fucking matter, right? Like, until you're able to liquidate some of it, it literally is meaningless. And thankfully, I'm so dumb when it comes to that stuff that in. In some of the things I see, straight to the truth, because I'm. I am literally too undereducated to get lost in the trappings. So I remember thinking, being rich on paper isn't anything. Like, until you sell it, it's totally meaningless, right? I remember thinking that, like, these before they ipo, they're actually broke, right? And so I was like, no, no, no. Like, they're so wealthy on paper. I'm like, I didn't spend so well at the grocery store. And let me tell you that that is the truth. So, you know, really, like, looking at how we can enrich people, how we can keep this team moving together as a collective to see what we can really do over the long run. That, to me, is very interesting. Is that flashing to do this? Oh, do we need to wrap?

[A]

Well, has it been an hour?

[B]

Put rap. Oh, sorry.

[A]

I didn't.

[B]

I just. The screen says. In my defense, it's got, like, a headline, and then it says tease grand prize again. So I just kept looking at Tease grand prize. I apologize. Totally my bad. So, rap segment. Thank you for the flashing light, which, by the way, I'm not. This is so cool.

[A]

Look, look, look, look.

[B]

Like, it's like everyone gathering around the campfires. It's gotten darker and darker out there.

[A]

Like, everyone's moving closer and closer. It's.

[B]

It's so cool. Um, but don't. Don't be afraid. Also, just to. To speak up, like, I'm not tense about that at all. If. If I'm not seeing something flashing the red lights. Also, great wiggling the. The mouse. All that stuff really helps. Um, and I was specifically not asking questions, by the way, just because I wanted Dr. Furness to be able to get in his flow. Um, so.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Sadly, we're out of time. Dude, the. Every time I get you on camera, I'm super stoked. This is always a lot, a lot of fun.

[A]

It's always exciting to me.

[B]

So thank you for sharing us that giveaway. The giveaway winners are. Caitlin.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Okay, we're getting. We're getting in the later hours here. Noah Bell. Andrea Zacharias. Brady Puryear, Abraham Rivera. All right, so those are the people that won. Kavay big.

[A]

It up. Pick it up, pick it up.

[B]

And to Dr. Finesse once again, thank you, my friend. Always a pleasure, everybody. Thank you so much for listening. And if this content is delivering value to you, please go to itunes, go to stitcher rate and review us. That helps us build this community. And that is what we are all about right now. Building this community as big as we can to help as many people as we can deliver as much value as possible. And you guys rating and reviewing really helps with that. All right, guys, thank you again so much. And until next time, my friends, be legendary. Take care. When you manage procurement for multiple facilities, every order matters. But when it's for a hospital system, they matter even more. Grainger gets it and knows there's no time for managing multiple suppliers and no room for shipping delays. That's why Grainger offers millions of products in fast, dependable delivery, so you can keep your facility stocked, safe, and running smoothly. Call 1-800-GRAINGER Click grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.