Tom Bilyeu Q&A: Secrets to Overcoming Toxic Work Culture and Setting Goals (Replay)

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Tom Bilyeu Q&A - Secrets to Overcoming Toxic Work Culture and Setting Goals (Replay)

Podcast: Impact Theory
Host: Tom Bilyeu
Episode Date: October 12, 2024

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Episode Overview

This replay episode of Impact Theory features Tom Bilyeu in a live-audience Q&A session, joined by Lisa. Tom answers a wide range of questions on overcoming toxic work culture, effective goal setting, navigating multiple good ideas, motivation, mental wellness, and the importance of mindset. The discussion is lively, candid, and rich with personal anecdotes and actionable strategies, all delivered in Tom's signature high-energy, empowering style.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Importance of Momentum & Avoiding Overthinking

• Act Before Overthinking: Tom confirms he’s trained himself to act before getting caught in analysis paralysis. He references Mel Robbins’ 5 Second Rule and emphasizes the need to build momentum and not fear failure.
  • “I’m always thinking about momentum, and I’m not embarrassed by failure. I’m never afraid to look stupid.” (06:11)
• Personal Obstacles: Tom shares that his personal challenge isn’t overthinking, but lingering in comfortable routines (e.g., long hot showers) when fatigued.
  • “Fatigue makes cowards of us all. When you’re just exhausted, your identity begins to fray at the edges.” (06:47)

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2. Supplements, Cognitive Enhancement & Natural Optimization

• Skepticism About Supplements: Tom expresses caution about cognitive supplements like Lion's Mane, advocating for natural optimization (diet, exercise) before using supplements.
  • “I’m not sure that they work. If something works, it freaks the government out and they regulate it.” (09:33)
• Natural Before Synthetic: He discusses the importance of foundational health habits and his personal experience with caffeine and fish oil.

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3. Prioritizing When Facing Multiple Good Ideas

• Sequential Focus & The Lead Domino: Tom underscores the necessity of sequential execution rather than multitasking when faced with many good ideas. He highlights the Tim Ferriss “lead domino” concept: choose tasks that unlock others.
  • “Getting something over the finish line is the key… find those lead dominoes that give you exponential results.” (13:34)

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4. Goal Setting & Life's Purpose

• Start With Bliss: Goal setting begins with identifying what makes you feel most alive, before working backward to tactics and execution. Tom references Joseph Campbell’s “chase your bliss.”
  • “In you right now, I promise, is something that you love to do. Most people dismiss it because they don’t know how to monetize it.” (19:27)
• From Passion to Tactics: Tom details how both Quest Nutrition and Impact Theory were born from aligning his interests with broader real-world needs, working back from vision to actionable steps.
• Importance of Mindset: The ‘keystone’ of a life well-lived is mindset—empowering beliefs allow for impact and fulfillment.

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5. Toxic Work Cultures & Unsupportive Social Circles

• Fixed Mindset Cultures: Tom advises to leave truly toxic, fixed-mindset organizations, as changing culture from within is mostly fruitless if you lack influence.
  • “Get out while you can. It will drag you down… too many companies out there [are better].” (30:56)
• Friends Who Hold You Back: Tom relates to being dismissed by peers for self-improvement and recommends leading by example rather than convincing others—sometimes, relationships must be left behind.
  • “Don’t spend energy on people who aren’t ready to change… live the empowering mindset. Your bandmates are watching you.” (28:06)

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6. Motivation, Youth & Gamification

• Don’t Change Behavior, Leverage It: Advises leveraging existing behaviors (e.g., gamification, collecting, play) to motivate youth, rather than trying to force change.
  • “Don’t try to change behavior, try to leverage it… you must gamify empowering behavior.” (42:47)
• Find Intrinsic Rewards: Make positive actions intrinsically rewarding so people want to repeat them.

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7. Self-Regulation: Punishment and Reward Systems

• Bright Lines & Self-Discipline: Tom uses strict “bright lines” for self-discipline (e.g., food rewards only after working out, clear cutoffs for behaviors).
  • “Bright lines, bright lines, bright lines… it’s the only way.” (66:56)
• Negative Reinforcement: He employs controlled negative self-reinforcement (not beating himself up, but tracking “misses” to improve accountability).
  • “Once you believe in yourself, praise and punishment are both tools… that’s when you get effective.” (59:37)

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8. Constructing Happiness

• Happiness by Design: Rejects the maxim “happiness is a choice” in favor of happiness as a deliberate, constructed outcome—using physicality to shape mindset and vice versa.
  • “There’s a connection between mind and body… when the mind isn’t feeling it, get to it through the body. I will literally force myself to laugh out loud.” (68:00)
• Practices for Shifting Mood: List three gratitudes, use body language (smile, posture) to trigger mental states.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Acting and Momentum:
  “Momentum matters. I’m not embarrassed by failure. I’m never afraid to look stupid.” — Tom Bilyeu (06:11)

• On Giving Up on Toxic Cultures:
  “Get out while you can. Like, it will—it will drag you down. It's a losing battle.” — Tom Bilyeu (30:56)

• On Goal Setting and “Bliss”:
  “Don’t worry about what you could be great at. Do the thing that makes you feel most alive, because what the world really needs is people who've come alive.” — Tom Bilyeu (19:27)

• On Negative Reinforcement:
  “Once you get to the point where you believe in yourself, you're totally focused on empowerment… self-flagellation, punishing yourself for not doing what you said, can be hugely powerful. But it’s like a gun: you’d better know how to use it.” — Tom Bilyeu (59:37)

• On Changing the World with Metaphor:
  “If you want to change the world, you have to change the metaphor.” — Joseph Campbell, cited by Tom Bilyeu (56:07)

• On Happiness Construction:
  “Happiness is constructed… There is a connection between the mind and the body. When the mind isn’t feeling it, you can get to it through the body.” — Tom Bilyeu (68:00)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Intro and Tech/Format Updates: 02:40–04:59
• Acting vs. Overthinking/Momentum: 05:57–08:26
• Supplements & Cognitive Enhancement: 09:33–13:00
• Handling Competing Ideas (“Lead Domino”): 13:34–16:38
• Goal Setting Process (“Chase Bliss”): 19:27–27:42
• Toxic Workplaces & Unsupportive Friends: 28:06–31:36
• Motivating Youth & Gamification: 42:47–47:05
• Overcoming Exhaustion (Physicality/Mindset Loop): 48:06–50:02
• Audiobooks & Learning While Exercising: 50:12–52:47
• Happiness via Construction, Not Choice: 68:00–70:24
• Changing the World with Metaphor/Narrative: 56:07–59:02

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Flow, Tone, and Additional Notables

• The conversation is interactive, humorous, and direct, with both Tom and Lisa sharing personal anecdotes and banter throughout.
• Tom frequently refers to scientific concepts, frameworks, and academics (Joseph Campbell, Viktor Frankl, Tim Ferriss, Elon Musk).
• Listeners received practical, sometimes counterintuitive advice—particularly around leaving toxic environments and not investing energy in those unwilling to change.
• The episode is high-energy, motivational, and pragmatic—stressing personal agency in constructing happiness, success, and impact.

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For Further Engagement

• Tom frequently responds to comments on public social media posts—encouraging the community to share their “big wins” and continue the conversation online.
  • “If you drop a comment, I try to write back to all comments. Let’s all help the community.” (71:32)

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Recommended For:
Anyone seeking actionable mental frameworks for goal-setting, overcoming toxic environments, building sustained momentum, and structuring a life of meaning and high performance.

Transcript

[Tom Bilyeu]

When you manage procurement for multiple facilities, every order matters. But when it's for a hospital system,

[Lisa]

they matter even more.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Grainger gets it and knows there's no time for managing multiple suppliers and no

[Lisa]

room for shipping delays.

[Tom Bilyeu]

That's why Grainger offers millions of products

[Lisa]

in fast, dependable delivery, so you can

[Tom Bilyeu]

keep your facility stocked, safe and running smoothly. Call 1-800-GRAINGER Click grainger.com or just stop

[Lisa]

by Grainger for the ones who get it done. If you work in university maintenance, Grainger considers you an MVP because your playbook ensures your arena is always ready for tip off.

[Tom Bilyeu]

And Grainger is your trusted partner, offering the products you need all in one place, from H VAC and plumbing supplies to lighting and more. And all delivered with plenty of time left on the clock. So your team always gets the win. Call 1-800-GRAINGER visit grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done. You're listening to the Impact Theory podcast, your source of empowering ideas and actionable techniques from the world's highest achievers. Join host Tom Bilyeu, serial entrepreneur and co founder of the billion dollar brand Quest Nutrition, on a journey to unlock your potential and realize your vision of success. Welcome to Impact Theory. Yeah, let's get started. So, welcome to the party. Here we go. It is early morning, by the way. The reason that we're recording this one at an unusually early time is because of the X Prize, if any of you guys don't know about it. It's a really amazing organization. I'm on the board and they are all about trying to help usher in a new and better future, which is. I love that. So they're futurists that just sort of dream empty dreams. But it's a group of people that are actually trying to put prizes together to incentivize people to attack some of the world's grandest challenges, from education to cleaning up the ocean to getting us into space. So it's. That's why. And we're flying today to NASA Moffett Field at the NASA Ames Research Center. So I had to wear the NASA T shirt in honor.

[Lisa]

And for those of us who don't know. Where is that?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Hey, Very good question. That is up north in the Bay Area.

[Lisa]

Got it. Cool. That should be a lot of fun.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yeah, it is. It's a good group of people. It's been going on now. This was. Yesterday was day two, so tomorrow's day two.

[Lisa]

Yeah. So also, guys, like, if you've noticed, we've done A couple camera switches. So what do you think of all that? Like, the new tech?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yeah. So we're looking at what's going on with Facebook, sort of putting a chip on. It looks like Facebook is really gonna make a run to up the production game and make things more like tv, which is, I think, really, really interesting. And I think it's gonna be a battle between what YouTube is doing, which is also cool. Have you tried red?

[Lisa]

No, I have not.

[Tom Bilyeu]

It's pretty cool. Yeah. I can't say that they've really hit sort of their final note. I think what they're doing on the TV side is gonna be probably the right next step, which I've been obsessed with somebody aggregating what's going on in YouTube. And it looks like YouTube is now gonna aggregate what's going on in YouTube. Because surfing the channels on YouTube is a nightmare.

[Lisa]

So hard.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yeah. So you just get. You get stuck in these loops. Like, I remember one time, like, if you. I'm fascinated by, like, disaster stuff, so like every now and then I'll get in like a loop of, like, the tsunami. Right. And just. It's. It's insane. But then it's just like, you know, thing after thing after thing about the tsunami or September 11th. It's just, you know, video after video after video of that kind of stuff. Or sharks. It's like they. The algorithm hasn't quite figured out that you don't just want to go down one rabbit hole forever. So what they're doing now, I think could be pretty interesting, really. Starting to think more like traditional tv, which even though, like, we're obviously moving away from TV and that you have to be right here, right now kind of zone. But there is, like, it evolved over a very long period of time. I mean, we've had TV for, it's almost like 70 years. So.

[Lisa]

Yeah. And there's something to be said, too, about, like, just being able to pick a genre within it, because, like, when you flip on and you, like, turn on hbo, you kind of have an idea of what.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yes, you. Cindy.

[Lisa]

What?

[Tom Bilyeu]

You were right. I mean, that's exactly like our whole thesis. Right. So is just like Disney understood back in the day that watching a Disney movie needs to be predictable to a certain extent. Right. So you're never going to come to impact theory, and we're all going to be, like, whining and crying about the way that life is. Like, it's always going to be action oriented. It's always going to be the sense of control, empowerment, all that so understanding that your brand, it doesn't need to be one thing, one note, but it needs to be within an ideological ecosystem. Boom. All right, why don't we get to questions?

[Lisa]

Yeah.

[Tom Bilyeu]

So I can tell it's so early,

[Lisa]

I could just ramble early. But like, what's funny? It's like we have like this 36ish viewers right now.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Well, so let's remember we have an international audience. So for some of these guys, it's like four in the afternoon. But yeah, we got our East Coasters for 9 o' clock for them.

[Lisa]

Yeah, but.

[Tom Bilyeu]

And what time did you get up this morning? I'm actually super curious about that.

[Lisa]

So this. I intended to get up at like maybe like four or something, but like, I overslept my alarms and woke up at like for 40.

[Tom Bilyeu]

All right, that's still pretty early.

[Lisa]

Yeah. And so it was like dark as hell. It was like, quick. Got everything ready and, like, together and then threw on this. This hoodie. I had a different outfit actually, but

[Tom Bilyeu]

then I liked it.

[Lisa]

Well, no, like, I got here and it was still cold.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yeah, true.

[Lisa]

And so I was just like, well, I'm not gonna take it off yet. And then now here we are.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Here we are. All right, now we'll actually get to the first question.

[Lisa]

Okay, so. So this one comes from Dan Bro. Do you aim to act before you think, before allowing yourself to overthink? I. E. Like Mel Robbins mentions with the 5 second rule.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Let me see. Let me interpret that question. So do I go out of my way to act before I can get caught in a loop of overthinking? Yeah. And I think we all have, like, the thing that we struggle with. For me, overthinking isn't the. The one I've really, at this point. God, did I used to. Maybe. But I've so trained myself now that momentum matters. And I'm always thinking about momentum, and I'm not embarrassed by failure. And I'm never afraid to look stupid. So it's like, I don't get stuck in that. Like, the thing that messes with me is hot showers. Hot showers, hot showers. Like, there's this quote.

[Lisa]

Explain that one.

[Tom Bilyeu]

All right, there's this quote I love. I don't remember who said it, so forgive me, but fatigue makes cowards of us all. And there is something to when you're just exhausted that all of a sudden, like, your identity begins to fray at the edges. Because it's like, I don't know that I can. Yeah, I don't know that I can Bear to, like, push forward. So I totally get that quote. And a lot of my identity is about fighting through that. Like, today I found myself in the gym, like, sighing constantly. I just have no energy today. So literally everything that you see me doing now is, like, using all of my constructs to stay high energy, physical things pushing my personality forward, things to overcome the fact that today, for whatever reason, I have no sort of natural energy. I'm having to, like, push it all. So hot showers, like, has that, like, thing for me where I get in the shower and I have all these intentions I'm going to do. I'm going to change the world. It's going to be amazing. And then I get in the shower and I'm like, dude, I just want to stand here so that literally I have to be careful about showers because if it weren't, like, if water conservation weren't a thing, I would. I would still be in like, my first shower ever. Like, I just. It literally. I don't know. It's so weird. It is so comforting. And so it puts me in, like this super alpha brainwave state. So it's like meditating. It's the same reason that I can't just let myself meditate all day, because it feels so good.

[Lisa]

That's so interesting.

[Tom Bilyeu]

So that's my thing, Dembro. That's like the thing. So I don't get. At least not anymore. I'm sure I did back in the day, but for such a long time now, I've used all the mental constructs to keep myself going and really get in momentum. The one thing that challenges momentum for me is hot showers. It's crazy.

[Lisa]

That is so fascinating just in the sense where it's like, so do you, like, lower the temperature of your shower then? Like, is it cold? Like, slightly cold? Well, I know you hate being cold, but, like, lukewarm?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Not even a little bit.

[Lisa]

He's like, still blasting it. It's hot.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Like, hot, hot, hot. And there have been times where either you're traveling. There's no either when you're traveling and the shower like, doesn't quite get hot or. Oh, my. This is. I won't derail too much, but my. Everybody has a pet peeve. Mine is showers without doors. I'll boycott a hotel if they don't have doors on their shower.

[Lisa]

Like, so just like the no shower

[Tom Bilyeu]

curtain or no door. It's like straight open, so it's glass and then just stops and then like, has this huge gap. I just. I want to indiscriminately punch people.

[Lisa]

It's so weird. Like, I feel like I haven't encountered a lot of showers like that.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Dude, don't. It's not good. It's bad mojo. Yeah, it's bad mojo.

[Lisa]

Oh, that's so funny. Okay, so our next question comes from Fuhang. What do you think of supplements like Lion's Mane, where people say it has benefits for the brain?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Man. So here's my general thesis on supplements. I was just thinking about this today. So a company reached out and they want me to get involved. And they're a supplement, a nootropic. So literally exactly like this. And my thing is, I'm not sure that they work. And I have a hypothesis. Basically, if something works, it freaks the government out, and therefore they're going to regulate it. And it's not going to be on the generally recognized as safe list, which are the only things you can actively put in stuff. So they have this, you know, cornucopia of things that they consider safe. Those are the things that you can put in a supplement. And if they really have big impact, like, there were a lot of fat burners on the market. I'm forgetting the name of the. Like the famous one where the baseball pitcher, I think he was like, drop dead. Ephedra. Yeah. So that actually worked. And so the government, like, just regulated the shit out of that. So. And that's usually what happens if something's really like. If you get a physiological response that's exaggerated, then they're gonna regulate it. And if the physiological response isn't exaggerated, then you're taking the supplement, but you're not entirely sure that it works. So there's certain supplements that I know some people swear by, but I don't take any because I've never noticed them to be very efficacious. And then also I have a real fear that when something isn't processed by the body that you can get, like, weird imbalances. So, like, I used to be really, really into fish oil, and I'm no longer convinced that that's like the mojo, like, backing it up and getting to precursors. And this is something that. So hormone supplementation, that's another thing that really freaks me out. Just because it's exogenous, you can get your body into an imbalance. And I think what you're going to see, and I'm definitely out of my element here, but I think what you're going to see over time is people working harder and harder to get to the precursors, to get to the Building blocks to get to the things that feed into that. So I don't even know what lion's mane is. I've never heard of that. So it's entirely possible that's like a precursor to something interesting. Um, but yeah, I'm. I. I try to get to things through more natural means. So, like, I would never supplement for cognitive benefits if I wasn't already working out. Right. Like, if you're. If they're. If you're not eating right and working out, like, there's just such huge, simple, basic natural processes that you can take advantage of. To not do those first and to try to, like, slather something on top of it just seems a little crazy. And then there's sort of the state sanctioned ones, like caffeine. I caffeinate, not really intentionally because I don't get hit by stimulants. Like, I don't whether I have caffeine or don't. I don't notice a difference. I. And people see me. They'll see me drinking Diet Coke a lot or like, my Diet Snapple here. The reason that I rock them is for hunger management. It's not for caffeine or anything like that.

[Lisa]

Yeah, there was once upon a time where I could, like, drink a monster and then go take a nap.

[Tom Bilyeu]

I can still do that.

[Lisa]

So I totally feel you on that.

[Tom Bilyeu]

But they make my eyes sting. That can't be good. So for that. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I used to cane, as the Brits say, I used to cane, like, three monsters a day. And I just started noticing by the end of the day, I kept doing this. I kept, like, pressure on my eyes. Just felt really nice. I thought I'm like, what is this?

[Lisa]

I'm dying.

[Tom Bilyeu]

So I thought, that can't be good. It's probably vaso restriction or something like constriction, something like that. So, yeah, I've.

[Lisa]

Okay, so we've gotten a few comments that the audio's a little low.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Audio's low. Interesting. Yeah, we can. We'll.

[Lisa]

We'll try and crank it up for you guys.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Is that better?

[Lisa]

Is it better now? It gets better.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Hey, how we doing? Better, Better, Better.

[Lisa]

All right, let us. Let us know if it's. It's better for you guys.

[Tom Bilyeu]

All right?

[Lisa]

All right, moving on to our next question. This one comes from Steven Miles. How do you handle competing simultaneous good ideas?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yeah, so you have to do things sequentially, and that's one of the biggest pains in the asses for me.

[Lisa]

Getting a good on sound.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Good. Nice. So that's the thing that babies. We can't hear you at all. We got to get you, like, a mic or something so that you're in our ears so we can tell you're trying to communicate something. But what that would be, we're not entirely sure. So things have to be done sequentially. And that, yeah, that's a huge pain. But really focusing on one thing at a time is super critical to getting things over the finish line. And this is something that not enough people think about. Getting something over the finish line is the key. So it gets really boring, and there's just an innate boredom to. Especially when I conceptualize it as being an entrepreneur. One of the things that every now and then, just sort of tongue in cheek and for fun I'll document is when we're doing something really boring or stupid. Like this morning, I should have filmed it. Lisa spent like an hour wrangling cables. And it's like, that shit is so dull. But it has to be done. Like, otherwise you get right up to it. Like, you've got all these grand ideas. You're gonna change the world. You're gonna do this amazing stuff. And then cables are the thing that stop you. Right? And so that's one of the things that makes Amazon so amazing, is they get it, like, on a tactical level, just from a. How do you improve the customer experience? Blocking and tackling. Blocking and tackling, Right. It's not sexy, but you've got to do it, the blocking and tackling. So it's the same thing with doing things sequentially. You'll get these great ideas. You want to do them all, and you can do them all. There's so much time in life, but you just can't do them all at the same time. So breaking them into. And if they stack and that, like this concept that Tim Ferriss has of the lead domino, like, finding that what is the. So if you've got these five things that you want to do, the order that you do them in can be really critical. And then I know that in saying that, I'm paralyzing people because then they're like, well, I don't know what the order is. And, yes, that's one of the things you have to get good at, is really identifying what is the sequence in which things are optimally done. And the only way to do that is to stop and think through it and think, okay, what's the lead domino? If I do this, then what are the other things that fall? So take for me, speed reading or the way I Do it audible. That was like the lead domino. If I can train myself to assimilate information faster, then I can get a skill faster. And if I can get a skill faster, than I can execute faster. So I actually put a lot of early energy into learning to listen to audible books at 3x, right? So people always think that, like, I'm crazy. And part of me is always hoping, like, someone will say, show me your audible right now. I want to see that it's actually at 3x because it's like, I put so much energy and effort into, like, being able to do that. And people think that, oh, well, you just have some lucky skill. It's not that, like anything, you just push yourself to do it. And I'm absolutely horrific at speed reading. So if I hadn't gotten into audible, I would have really, really had to force myself to do that, because it's a lead domino. So find those things that. That are the lead dominoes and just ask, like, what's going to. If I do this thing, what's the one that gives me the exponential result on the other stuff?

[Lisa]

Dope. Yeah.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Word.

[Lisa]

Speed reading. I like, took a class on that when I was, like, younger because I really love to read all the time. And, like, my teacher actually got upset with me because, like, she was like, there's no way that you're reading this fast. But it's because, like, I read every day, all the time when I was, like, yeah, younger. So, yeah.

[Tom Bilyeu]

What were you reading, fiction or nonfiction?

[Lisa]

I was mostly reading fiction because I was, like, you know, into novels and narrative. Like that.

[Tom Bilyeu]

What was the novel of choice?

[Lisa]

I mean, I was big. I was big into Harry Potter. Okay.

[Tom Bilyeu]

I forget how young you are. Like, Harry Potter did not come along for me until I was in my 20s. 20s?

[Lisa]

Yeah. I mean, like, I'm a 90s, baby.

[Tom Bilyeu]

You ready for, like, a surprising fact?

[Lisa]

What?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Shades of Gray. That series outsold all the Harry Potter novels combined by, like, some crazy factor. I was like, what? I literally had no idea. That book crushed Harry Potter.

[Lisa]

Yeah.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Who would have thought?

[Lisa]

I know, right?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Kink goes Suburban, I think was the quote was.

[Lisa]

That definitely is what happened.

[Tom Bilyeu]

It's crazy.

[Lisa]

I'm super curious about that.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Have you read it?

[Lisa]

I actually haven't. I couldn't get into it, dude.

[Tom Bilyeu]

My wife let me read a passage. I was shocked. I'm not an easy person to shock. I was shocked. I was like, wow.

[Lisa]

Yeah. Which is. This is racing, where I was like, how is it that I can't. I just, like, wasn't into it. And like, same with the Twilight series. I never finished the books. Like I watched the movies but like I never finished the books. If you work in university maintenance, Grainger considers you an MVP because your playbook ensures your arena is always ready for tip off.

[Tom Bilyeu]

And Grainger is your trusted partner, offering the products you need all in one place, from H vac and plumbing supplies to lighting and more. And all delivered with plenty of time left on the clock. So your team always gets the win. Call 1-800-GRAINGER visit grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done. When you manage procurement for multiple facilities, every order matters. But when it's for a hospital system,

[Lisa]

they matter even more.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Grainger gets it and knows there's no time for managing multiple suppliers and no

[Lisa]

room for shipping delays.

[Tom Bilyeu]

That's why Grainger offers millions of products

[Lisa]

in fast, dependable delivery so you can

[Tom Bilyeu]

keep your facility stocked, safe and running smoothly. Call 1-800-GRAINGER Click grainger.com or just stop

[Lisa]

by Granger for the ones who get it done. Yeah, so the next question comes from Mary Therese Solano. So, Tom, you say you're big into goals and doing what moves you towards them. So walk us through your goal setting process.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Okay, so normally it starts with chasing my bliss. So if you have read Joseph Campbell, he talks a lot about this and this is really powerful. And I think that's something people don't think a lot about. There is something in your life and this is sort of my secret. Not secret, because I've talked a lot about it. But it's like the thing, I don't think people are hearing me. It's like in you right now, I promise, is something that you love to do. And most people dismiss it. And they dismiss it probably because they don't know how to monetize it. They don't think it could be a job. They don't think it can be a business. Their family and friends have told them, you know, that that's silly or stupid or whatever. And so they never realize, like they literally have a blinder to the fact that there is something in their life that's a raging interest. It may not be quite a passion, but it's like a raging interest. And so I'm always trying to start there. So the example that I always give to people of a raging interest is video games. So a lot of people like to play video games or they like to read or whatever. Right? So it's like the thing that they go and do when they're sort of, you know, contracting into themselves. They've had a rough day or whatever, or even Jesus, food, like, people really retreat into food, right? And so imagine becoming a food blogger, right? It's like food is that thing that gives you comfort. It's that thing that you think you have this negative relationship with. You've got this really unstable thing where you eat and you feel guilty, whatever. Like, if you could recognize that, okay, this is something that I love, there is a way to find a healthy relationship with this. I'm going to do that and then I want to talk about it and I'm going to, you know, connect with other people. And even if in the beginning you don't know how to make money at it, like, do it because it will make you feel alive, right? And there's that great quote. And again, wow, I'm really forgetting my quotes today of who said it. But it was like, don't worry about what you could be great at. Do the thing that makes you feel most alive, because what the world really needs is people who've come alive. And so, like, if you tap into that thing that makes you feel alive, like, that to me is the juice. So turn inward, don't dismiss it, no matter how silly or stupid it might be. Like, what is that thing that makes you feel most alive? So that's always where I'm starting. So when you, you think about what we were doing at Quest or now what we're doing with impact theory, those were both moments where I turned inside and said, okay, what are like, what's me following my bliss? And I'm. I am just, I've. I feel like I am naturally wired to be very empathetic. So I actually enjoy seeing other people win. And while that, I get it from an evolutionary standpoint because if you know the whole selfish gene theory, it actually goes into. It's not. It's not so important that you survive. It is only important that your genes survive, which is why family's so big, which is why tribe is so big. You know that we have this natural resonance with those groups because in them usually are contained. Certainly in family is contained our genes. So helping your niece or nephew from a gene perspective is just as useful as protecting yourself and your own offspring. So like, I just have like maybe that dialed up a little more than most people. So I really, really enjoy seeing other people succeed. And then on top of that, like, I love my family. And so I saw them really, really struggling with food. And my business partner was really good. Is really good at nutrition. And so it was like, wow, this could be a really awesome opportunity for me to help my family. And then I wasn't stupid. And I knew that there were, you know, hundreds of millions, maybe a billion or more people that struggle with food in the exact same way that my family does. So it was like, okay, we could do that and I could be really, really passionate about it. And then impact theory is, to me, Wellness is this 360 degree thing. It wasn't. The body was just a way to get to the mind for me. And that's really how I think about it. And, you know, so much change for me. Um, so without really belaboring that point, I think that that's relatively clear. Um, so I identified that thing that is me chasing my bliss. And then I start working backwards and all the way to where you get to the tactical. Right. So if we're going to do impact theory, here's how it went. All right, what do I really want to do? I want to, I want to empower people mentally. I think that there's a massive struggle going on right now with anxiety, depression. The second leading cause of death in the US for young men is suicide. Like, that's just crazy to me. And it's the number one leading cause of death death in other countries. And so just, you know, looking at that and looking at even if, like, somebody's not in danger of committing suicide, like the, you know, the, the question I used to ask at the end of every Inside Quest episode was what is the definition of a life well lived? Because I'm really obsessed with that concept of, you know, what does it mean to fully express a human life, to, to live it to its fullest? And to me, it, it all comes down to mindset. Like, that's it, like, that's the linchpin, that's the keystone, right? And if you know what a keystone is in a, in like an arch, there's one stone that's actually holding everything together. And that's why it doesn't fall. And if you move that keystone, then literally it would just crumble that one thing. And so you know that, that is in, in, in a life well lived, that keystone is mindset. And if you have a mindset that's empowering, and it's really just these sort of basic beliefs that to believe, then you can do so much more than you would otherwise. So if that's what we're trying to give to the world and we're really trying to help people, what's the no BS answer of how to do that. And I believe that the answer is narrative. And so, okay, if the answer is narrative and we're going to. And it's narrative and it's businesses, right? Because that's the way that we really interact with the world. And we create these. Sorry, baby, if you can shut the doors, the sun is like blinding. And I keep trying to use the camera to block. No, no, it's coming in through the kitchen. Thank you.

[Lisa]

That's so funny because I was like, oh, usually these are like blacked out, right?

[Tom Bilyeu]

We started, it was still dark. So, yeah, just looking at narrative, looking at the importance of narrative and how you're. How you would execute against that. So it's like, okay, how do you get people to listen to narrative? Because the hardest part is getting that out into the world. And why? Because you're guessing at what's good for people. So, wow. Wouldn't it be great if the community, like, you could do something that's sort of low barrier to entry, and then the community would choose from this massive array and then they would say, these are the five ideas that we like. And then you only have to back those five ideas, right? So that's the idea behind Impact Theory is, okay, we're going to start in written and comics because they're very cheap, but you can imagine a gigantic universe. It's also stuff that people can submit. And so we become the technology layer where. So phase one, build the community, right, Then layer technology over it, and then ask the community to submit ideas and then have the community upvote them, essentially. And then you get to the very limited number of things that we're going to push and promote. Now, the one thing that has to be inherent in all that, and that's why it probably seems like we're talking primarily about mindset and business, because we need that ethos. So going back to the earlier thing that we were talking about with Disney is Disney had a brand and you knew what to expect from a Disney film. We need people to understand what to expect from an Impact Theory company and an Impact Theory piece of content. It needs to be making the world a better place. It needs to be empowering. Like, those are just things that have to be. So I don't want to keep walking through the nitty gritty of it, but that's my process, right? So I'm just walking back and saying, what. What is the no BS answer to how you do this? And if you're like, it's not always going to Be pretty. It may not even be something you want to be involved in. But if you're willing to say that really would work. Like, I know our three step plan will work. I don't know if we can execute against it. I just know that it's real. So. Because it goes down to what Elon Musk refers to as getting to the physics of a problem. So we've boiled down our grand desire to make sure that empowering, the empowering mindset reaches everybody on the planet. That's really like, if you boil it down to sort of its non economic what we're trying to get to, that's it. And then just asking, okay, if I didn't, I couldn't change behavior, but instead had to leverage existing behavior, how would I execute against that? And that's how we ended up with narrative and companies and yeah, there it is. That's, that's how I walk through the process. I could literally go on that all day, all week. But we'll stop there.

[Lisa]

Well, we'll eventually have a piece of content centered around goal setting, I think. Yeah, I feel like it's crucial. All right, so this one comes from Sebastian. My friends and bandmates dismiss me for starting to work hard on my future. I think they're afraid of being left behind, but I can't give them the right mindset to go the way with me. Have you ever, have you ever experienced this?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Every day. Every day. So I mean, this is where most people live. And I actually get asked the question a lot like, how do you help somebody who you love get the empowering mindset right when they're resistant? And the answer is you don't. So don't spend your energy on the people who aren't ready to change yet. And also the great thing that people say about kids, I don't have kids, but this just sounds like the greatest advice ever to me because it's certainly true of employees. Don't try to tell people what to do because you can't always count on them to listen, but you can always, always, always count on them to watch. And so if you're leading by example, if you're just doing it all the time, all the time, all the time, like then it really begins to seep into the culture. And that's why I struggled. As quest got bigger and bigger, it was like, Jesus, not a lot of people can see what I'm doing. So that becomes difficult because now you only know what I say. But I know that people aren't listening all the time. So that. That's really tricky. And that's why you have to really empower your leadership as you get bigger and bigger, because everyone needs someone that they see every day, all day. They need to see them living what you're talking about versus just repeating it. So, man, live. Live the empowering mindset. Your band mates are going to be watching you. Maybe some will, you know, get into that and they'll see, like, that your life is improving. And honestly, you may have to ditch them. Like, I hate to say that, but, dude, you can't let people drag you down. And I can't think of anything more like a family than a band, especially if you guys are touring or anything. So there are people out there that will respond to the mindset, that won't heckle you as you're trying to grow. And here's the thing, if they're heckling you, it's going to slow you down. It may not stop you, but it will slow you down. Just because they're not giving you ideas, you're having to come up with all the ideas yourself. So I highly encourage people to be very selective about who they hang out with.

[Lisa]

Truth. All right, guys, just a reminder to make sure that you share this live feed in order to win a book off of Tom's reading list.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yes, please share, share, share, share.

[Lisa]

Help us grow.

[Tom Bilyeu]

And by the way, only share if you think that we're adding value. But that's the thing. If this content adds value to your life, then please share.

[Lisa]

Yeah, so it's like, pass on the positivity, like, the value. Add all of that. All right, so this next question comes from Johan. How can I manage my relationships with my colleagues when the culture at work is all about fixed mindset and selfishness and mine is the opposite?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Give me the beginning of the question. I was just tripping out that we just had Johan and Sebastian back to back.

[Lisa]

Yeah, sorry.

[Tom Bilyeu]

We're hitting that international crowd right now, so.

[Lisa]

Yeah. How can I manage my relationships with my colleagues when the culture at work is all about fixed mindset and selfishness? And mine is the opposite?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Get out while you can. Get out while you can. Like, if truly the company has a cultural fixed mindset, there are just too many companies out there that don't get out, get out. Like, it will. It will drag you down. It's a losing battle. You're never going to be able to convince them. So it's hard enough when you own the company to, like, really affect culture. If you're just in the culture and you can't sway, like, the proclamations. You can't get the leadership to act in a certain way. It just the. Wow. It. It's possible, but it would require so much of your energy that I just can't recommend it.

[Lisa]

Well, that's easy enough.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yeah, that's the truth.

[Lisa]

All right, so this one comes from Daniel, or actually Dan. Bro. When you started Quest, did you expect it to grow to the level that it did and what was your goal?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yes. Just did not expect it to grow that fast. So, you know, going into anything, like, right now, Impact Theory, I believe one day that people are gonna look back on this and be like, whoa, Impact Theory used to be small, but you have to do that. Like, you have to really think about it. You have to allow yourself to see that. So I was at 20th Century Fox last night, and by the way, if you guys aren't following me on Instagram, get on that IG game doing that live, not live feed IG story last night, walking around 20th Century Fox and just thinking, oh, it's going to be really cool when we've got, you know, a future studio is going to look very different. But just the scale, right? So I was walking around thinking about the scale and how we're going to get there and, like, the making sure that we're taking the right steps. And I thought, this moment right here is actually why we're going to get there, because I'm thinking about it and not like I was believing it, right? So if you're able to conceptualize it and you're able to really allow yourself to be filled by belief in the thing that other people just think that's impossible. And understand the only thing that separates most people. I mean, look, there's a high degree of execution. I'm well aware of that. But the real thing that stops people is they never learn how to execute because they don't allow themselves to believe that they could actually do it. And therefore, they never get started. And getting started and being willing to learn from your mistakes, like making it in your mind inevitable that you will be successful, like, that really, really matters, right? That really matters. And then you just have to take the steps to continue to, like, you'll feel it. Like, when you have this vision of inevitability in your mind and you're walking in a path that doesn't feel like it takes you to your inevitable outcome. That's like one of the things that lets you know, like, listen to your instincts adjust course. But if you don't believe it's inevitable, then walking towards failure feels right because the failure seems inevitable. And so now every step feels in accordance with the inevitability of the failure. And so the steps will actually feel right. Wow, that's like. I'm actually thinking about that in real time. That is what happens is you don't feel out of alignment with the thing that you really believe, which is that you're going to fail. And so it's very easy to keep going in that direction.

[Lisa]

True.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Beware of failure.

[Lisa]

Beware of failure.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Beware of. Yeah. Letting the corner be in your mind.

[Lisa]

Rounding the corner this summer. Don't squeeze in. Spread out. Find homes big enough for your whole guest list on vrbo. That's vacation rentals Done.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Right.

[Lisa]

Book your stay now. All right, so Danbra actually wants to know what I'm reading currently, so I do this weird thing. So I read audiobooks, like Kindle books, and then like a paper book. And so right now, different, not different. They're all different. They're all different.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Interesting.

[Lisa]

Yeah. So I don't. I don't know why I do this now, but it's like, it's my thing. So I just finished on Audible. You Can't Touch My Hair by Phoebe Robinson. Okay, Is that fiction? No, that's nonfiction.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Okay, what's it about?

[Lisa]

So she's a comedian and she's just kind of like talking about like her memoir experiences in the industry and everything. And then it's kind of framed around like, you can't touch your hair because it's like, it's like a weird thing that people tend to do to like, black girls or just like black people in general is like, touch their hair. Cuz like, it's different.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Right.

[Lisa]

And it's just like a violation of personal space, I would say. Yeah, but like, people don't even think about it that way.

[Tom Bilyeu]

They literally just reach out and touch your hair.

[Lisa]

I remember, like, being in like, elementary school and stuff and like sitting in like the little circle or like, whatever, someone be behind me literally, like playing with my hair. And I was like, who is it? And like, and the thing is, when you're that young, like, you don't even register that, like, someone's actually like in your bubble, even though they tell you it's like, keep your hands to yourself. But anyway, so yeah, you can't touch my hair. So that's the one I just finished on Audible. The next step is going to be platform revolution, actually. And then for Kindle, I'm reading the Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl by Issa Rae. Because, like, I love her series Insecure. Like, I used to watch her YouTube series. Yeah. And so I'm just, like, finishing that up. I think I'm, like, halfway done with it. And then Big Magic. I'm only, like, a few pages in because it's, like, the.

[Tom Bilyeu]

What's Big Magic?

[Lisa]

So it's Elizabeth Gilbert's book about, like, creativity. So these are all nonfiction books, actually.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Nice.

[Lisa]

But that one is, like, a slower read, because the paper one. And usually I only read it at nighttime, if, like, I still have the lights on. And then, like, I'll switch to the Kindle. And so it's like a whole process thing. But, yeah. So that's what I'm currently reading. So you know about it. Yeah. All right. And then this one comes from Saad. Well, actually, what are you currently reading?

[Tom Bilyeu]

So I am rereading Stealing Fire. I had to go through it really fast for the interview with Jamie Wheal, and it's just been really, really on my mind. Fascinating. I did a podcast with the Mind Pump guys, which was actually a lot of fun. I'm excited for that one to come out. And we were talking about that microdosing largely, which is now, like, my obsession, which I still. I'm not messing with. But it's all. Yeah, it's very intriguing. So going back to supplements that work. So I hear. So really wanted to dive in so I can do a book review on it. And I just find the conversation is fascinating.

[Lisa]

It is.

[Tom Bilyeu]

So, yeah, that's what I'm reading. And then we've got a lot of cool guests coming up in March, and so I'm going to be reading all the books that correspond to the interviews.

[Lisa]

Nice. Yeah. So it's like, one of my favorite classes from undergrad was actually a drugs and behavior class.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Really? That's a thing?

[Lisa]

So it was like psych class, or maybe it's neuroscience class or something that I took. And it was, like, all about your brain on drugs and, like, the ways that it affects it. Like, so we looked at the MRIs. We, like, talked about the stories, like, the performance and stuff. So it's like, sometimes you leave the class and you'd be like, I should probably do a little coke. Like, and you're just like, wait, what? Yeah, because it's like. But, like, obviously not in crazy doses, but it talks about how it, like, mimics, like, you know, even things like Adderall. And so it's like the. It's almost like a slow release.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Have you Done that oral. That pause. That pause, though.

[Lisa]

Maybe.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Anyway, you know, I've never done it because somebody. A, because I'm afraid of drugs, and then B, because somebody told me that it, like, they ceased to have a personality. They were like. Your focus just like comes into like this laser beam.

[Lisa]

It becomes a little like tunnel vision.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yeah, like that. I don't know. I don't know. Look, I. I'm not like, morally opposed to it. Yeah, I'm. I am literally, what am I worried about? It's identity, right? So I'm the guy that doesn't do drugs. And I really have to think. I really have to think about that. Because if micro dosing of psychedelics is as. So here, this is literally the thing that's weighing on my mind. So if microdosing does not make you feel like you're on drugs, which is what I'm told, so you're not like tripping out, but makes it so that you can make connections in your brain, like far flung connections. So it's basically creativity on tap. When you're trying to solve a business problem, what you're looking for is always creativity. You're always looking for that moment of inspiration. So that's one of the reasons the whole idea of thinkitating. So before I heard about microdosing or anything like that, that's why I was thinking tating. So I would meditate and I would realize, like, whoa. I would be stopping myself from thinking about things that were utterly fascinating and that I was making these connections. And so then I started, like, keeping a computer by me because I was like, while I'm meditating, I have, like, these really awesome insights. And so then I thought, I'm like, in this, you know, where if you set an AC to turn on and off at the same temperature, it's like, it freaks out. So I felt like that, like I'm trying to tell myself not to think, to just breathe, but I'm having, like these amazing thoughts. So I'm like, okay, there's got to be a solution to this. So then I just started sequentially. I would meditate, tell myself, just get into that alpha wave state. And then, okay, now I'm here. Let the, you know, flood begin and really start thinking through some of these problems. So if that's like a minor form of what happens when you're microdosing, then it's like, is it just the stigma? And then if. Yeah, but obviously I have issues with longevity and I don't like to do things that mess with my brain and so it just gets. It gets. It gets tough. It gets tough.

[Lisa]

Yeah. I mean, that's part of, like, what I. I feel like I learned in drugs and behavior that like. Like, in smaller doses, like, all these different drugs actually have, like, benefits. Like, in terms of, like, your brain or, like, focus, connectivity, and, like, creativity, relaxation, and all of that. So it's like. It's just interesting to see. But the problem is that everything is kind of good for you in moderation. But everyone always, like, hits that not

[Tom Bilyeu]

everything is good for you in moderate. I think that is, like, craziest statement ever. People say that all the time. Like, with diet, people are always saying that, oh, it's everything in moderation. No, it's not.

[Lisa]

Well, I mean, you gotta figure out what works for you. But, like, I'm saying you're not gonna do, like, 17 lines of coke or something. Like, you're gonna.

[Tom Bilyeu]

But is there any amount of coke that, like, is literally, like.

[Lisa]

Like, my class said, how much coke? A little bit. None. None.

[Tom Bilyeu]

And would you admit it if you had? So, yeah, look, I get it. And. Oh, God. So how about this? Overdoing things is bad.

[Lisa]

Yes, I will.

[Tom Bilyeu]

It's just not all things in moderation. I'm not gonna run out later and have spider venom because, so, like, moderation,

[Lisa]

I feel like a sliding scale of whatever. So. But overdoing it, for sure.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Overdoing it is usually bad, as I learned with my monster energy drinks.

[Lisa]

Right.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Stingy eyes.

[Lisa]

When you, like, couldn't see, basically, you could see.

[Tom Bilyeu]

It just hurt a little.

[Lisa]

Does it hurt? Your eyeballs aren't supposed to hurt.

[Tom Bilyeu]

They're not supposed to hurt. That was. Yeah. Tip number.

[Lisa]

All right, so this one comes from Saad. What advice would you have to motivate youth into productive action? I interact with thousands of students and young professionals struggling to find their footing in life, including entrepreneurship, social balance, and disappointment over the education system largely failing them.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Don't try to change behavior, try to leverage it. Right. So that's always where I start. So I would try to back into, like, what do. So, like, the reason that reverse psychology works is one of the things that nature ensures that kids of a certain age do is they rebel. Why? Because they need to establish their own identity. They need to come out from under you. They need to become their own person. I mean, that's. Otherwise, like, mothers literally have the impulse to hold on, and so that would be it. And the mother would end up having to take care of the child forever. So there is this, you know, one of the Results of the hormonal craze that is puberty pushes people to really step out. So you get people trying to leverage that behavior by being reverse psychology, right? Telling them not to do something that you actually want them to do because they do it by rebelling. I mean, they're too clever for it to really work. But like, that's the concept. So if you're finding things that they, that they're already doing, like how can you sneak in messaging? So one of the things that. I actually haven't talked about this inside impact theory yet, but I'm beginning to think that one of the ways that we reach youth is by going into the inner cities is my particular fascination because I think they're the people that are sort of farthest from where they need to get to. But going into the inner cities and leveraging things like the desire to collect. So this whole notion of digital baseball cards, which empowering ideas, so making things only become valuable when they're actually scarce. So there's this whole thing called the blockchain. I won't derail us now, but it's utterly fascinating. The blockchain can actually make digital things limited edition. So that's why bitcoin works, because that quarter, I know they're not called quarters, but that bitcoin or whatever, like a real life quarter, it is physical and therefore it is limited. The same is true of a digital bitcoin. It actually is limited. And the way that it all works, A, I don't understand well enough to explain and B, I don't think it matters, but it, you know, that you have something that's limited. So if we could go in knowing that humans and kids especially, really get into collecting things, if we could find a way to incept them with empowering ideas on some sort of collectible card that they can play with. I don't know, we have to figure that out. But leveraging that desire to collect, to have something that other people don't have, but then transmits some empowering ideology. But it, like a lot of this stuff revolves around play gamification. So my short answer as I sort of process this out loud is gamify it. You have to find a way to gamify it. So that's why video games work. Video game companies employ psychologists and neurologists, quite frankly, to. They watch people play video games while they're, while they're in an FMRI machine so that they can see, like, is the game essentially addictive? And so you have to make the empowering behavior Addictive so that they're going to come back to it so that they want to do it. Things become addictive because you're leveraging natural impulses, the reward system in the brain. You just have to find a way to do that. If it's not intrinsically rewarding, they're not going to do it. Right. So why am I so obsessed with empowering behavior? Because it feels good. And why do I like to read so much? Because those ideas. In fact, I was thinking about this this morning. Why don't I like working out? Because it takes away from my time to read. And that's really the frustration that I have is it isn't the physical effort. It's that I could be doing something else. And I feel so constrained in my time in any one day, that I resent that. Working out is so effective at supercharging my mind, right? So it's not intrinsically pleasurable for me in the way that reading is. Like, when I come across something in a book that, like, I think, oh, my gosh, I can use this. That, like, gives me a dopamine rush, right? And I want to turn the page to get to the next thing that I'm going to be able to use. I don't get that same thing in working out. I have to remind myself that to be where I'm at cognitively, I have to do this because the brain body connection, it's just a reality. If I didn't believe that, I would never work out. So gamify, huh?

[Lisa]

That's so interesting. Especially considering, like, all the studies in terms of, like, working out and the endorphins it gives you.

[Tom Bilyeu]

I literally do not get those, or I get them on some such minor level that I don't. I don't experience it in my conscious mind.

[Lisa]

Huh. That's so interesting to me because, like, I'm definitely one of those, like, endorphin people. Like, even though I'm just like, oh, like, this kind of sucks, by the end of it, I was like, that was so worth it. And I feel great.

[Tom Bilyeu]

I really don't. And like today I kept sighing, like, every set was just, like, exhausting. And I was like, I could. And this was this morning that I was thinking about, I was like, I could be reading right now, which recharges me. It makes me feel more vital, it makes me feel alive, makes me feel effective. And I feel like all these grand goals that I have in my life, what we're trying to do with impact theory, like, when I read, I Get closer, right? I get closer to being able to execute. I get closer to that knowledge that I need in order to accomplish something. It's feels so tangible and, like, yeah, I don't know. It makes me feel closer. And I intentionally don't finish that with any word. It just makes me feel closer.

[Lisa]

All right, well, on that note as well, this one comes from Vanessa. What do you do to overcome your exhaustion?

[Tom Bilyeu]

There are a lot of things that you can do physically. So one of them is stand up straighter. Another is what I call pushing your personality. So right now, if you. Let's say that you have a crush on somebody and they walk in the room, all of a sudden, you're going to stand up a little bit straighter. You're going to like, hey, you know, like, doing those things, like, hey, you ready?

[Lisa]

Mm.

[Tom Bilyeu]

So you'll notice I begin every episode the same way. Hey, everybody. Welcome to another episode of it doesn't matter what we're doing.

[Lisa]

That's true.

[Tom Bilyeu]

The only thing I don't do that on are the quotes because we're trying to do something different. I even used to start that with, hey, everybody, welcome to another. That is my pathological way to become high energy and to lower my anxiety. So, like, if I were real, because doing Inside Quest used to really freak me out because I was not used to being on stage, was not used to, like, being the center of attention like that. And so it wasn't something I really wanted. It was just something I could see would be very effective. So I needed, like, that thing to get me into the zone. And so without really intending it, it became that. So, hey, everybody. Like, so I'm just doing this, like, saying that I have that gets me into this. I'm speaking louder. Like, when we're checking levels, I always check levels for, hey, everybody, welcome to another episode of Right. Because it's the thing that I do the most. High energy. So also, talking faster. I force myself to talk faster. And in talking faster, your brain has to speed up. So in getting my brain to speed up, like, all of a sudden, like, even in this episode, like, about 10 minutes in, I think was when I started saying, like, oh, today I'm really low energy. I realized, oh, wow, Like, I've actually, like, gotten high energy by doing all of these things. Even though. Yes. So those are. Those are some. But I always use physicality to get to mentality.

[Lisa]

That's why I work out mind, body, connection, baby.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Word.

[Lisa]

All right, so this is from Craig. So he says, could listening to an Audiobook solve that. Working out, like getting you closer towards your goal situation?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Nope.

[Lisa]

No?

[Tom Bilyeu]

No.

[Lisa]

Do you listen to anything?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Never. Ever? Oh, I listen to music. Yeah. Yeah. So when people tell me, oh, when I work out, when people tell me that, oh, I listen to podcasts while I work out, I think, how do you work out? Like, I can't pay attention to two things at once, man. If people out there can, like, kudos to you. I used to try to practice my Greek while working out because I thought the same thing. I thought, okay, the time is my frustration, so I'll read a book, I'll practice my Greek. And then I found like, the time between sets would be like two and three minutes. And then all of a sudden I was in the gym for two hours, but I was only doing an hour worth of work. And I thought, this is dumb. I'm not getting like, mentally I'm not fully present and physically I'm not fully present. So instead I just had to accept that when I listen to music, music puts me into a certain, like, energetic state. And then I use that energetic state to do the complimentary thing of working out. The only time I read is if I'm doing cardio because I need a mental distraction and I don't do. I don't usually do hiit cardio. So high intensity interval training. I don't normally do that. So I'm doing slow, steady state, boring cardio because. Because it's what I can convince myself to do because I hate cardio. So that's just that truth. It's just truth. I'm not saying it's good, I'm just saying it is so that I can get myself to do, because I allow myself to read. And the greatest example of this is when I was reading Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, which is about a true story autobiography of Viktor Frankl, who was, I can't ever remember if he was a neuroscientist or a neurosurgeon. He was one of the two, but he survived, I think, five concentration camps, including Auschwitz. And he just details why some people die in a concentration camp. Like just die versus obviously if the. The guards shoot somebody. But he was saying, like, so many people they would just give up. And he said three days later they'd be dead. And he said you could see it. And it was people that didn't find meaning in their suffering. And so literally the guy's talking about that and how can you not like, crush your cardio? Because it's like all right. This is easy compared to. Yeah. What this guy went through. And that book, by the way, is just incredible. It's so incredible. I actually, I think it is, it is shame, shame, shame on any high school that lets somebody graduate without them reading Man's Search for Meaning. Literally. Shame.

[Lisa]

I don't even think that was like on any of our reading lists.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Nope.

[Lisa]

But yeah, so. But it's online.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Have you read it?

[Lisa]

Not yet. It's like one of those things where it's like, so I have a list and like I am one of those people who I just like kind of choose what I get I want to do.

[Tom Bilyeu]

And I put this one off for a long time. I think it was Tony Robbins that had it on like his standing list. People would always ask him, like, you know, what are the books that influence you most? And he said, man, Search for Meaning. Viktor Frankl. And I heard it for a long time and you know, I have all this respect for Tony and just didn't read it. Didn't read it, didn't read it. And then I read it. And this is like how, you know how people get really weird when they like really like a food and you don't like it and they just want them. But try this one you really like this time. That's how I'm with this book, man. I just want everyone to read it. It is so good. And when I say good, it, it will change you. You will not look at your life or anyone else's life the same ever again. Because if the thing that helped people survive a concentration camp is mindset, how do you survive Bad job mindset. How do you deal with bad relationship Mindset. Right. Like the if the answer to how do you survive a concentration camp is mindset, finding meaning, finding purpose in your suffering. It's the answer to everything. There we go.

[Lisa]

Secrets of the universe, answers for meaning.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Viktor Frankl.

[Lisa]

Alright, so this one comes from Pettit Sounds Ian.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Ian pettitsound.

[Lisa]

All right, so on your website you wrote, we want to build things directly and help others build things that solve what we believe to be the world's biggest challenges.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Truth.

[Lisa]

What challenges do you have in mind? And how does freeing people from the Matrix help address these problems?

[Tom Bilyeu]

I think the greatest challenge that we face as a society go back to the physics of a problem. So what part of the human psyche is broken and that if you could fix it. Right? So that's why the analogy for the Matrix. In the Matrix, the problem is people don't understand that what the real World is they don't realize that they're trapped. They don't realize they're in a prison, right? So, and I think the line in the movie is something like, how do you know that you're in a prison when you can't see, taste, smell, touch, hear it? And that's a mindset, right? So if. When looking at the world's biggest challenges versus problems, the X Prize is all about the world's grandest challenges, right? So getting us to another planet, cleaning up the ocean, things like that, the biggest problems, starving to death, right? That's a problem. Mindset is a problem. So to me, like, you can't solve the grand challenges unless you deal with the problem of mindset. And so when I look at the world, I see two pandemics that touch everything. The pandemic of the body and the pandemic of the mind. Now, the pandemic, the body is easy to see pandemic, the mind is much harder. It's invisible and has a stigma. Like, people are super weird about mental illness, right? So even just getting away from that and just calling it wellness, like, if somebody is physically frail, like, nobody's weird about that because you know how to help them. But when it's the mind, people are super weird about it. So understanding that, to me, the solution to the problem seems very obvious that people don't have a perspective, a framework, a metaphor with which to understand the world. So there's an awesome quote by Joseph Campbell. You ready?

[Lisa]

Ready.

[Tom Bilyeu]

If you want to change the world, you have to change the metaphor. If you want to change the world. If you want to change the world, you have to change the metaphor. So that's what we're trying to do. We're trying to change the metaphor. So that, to me, is like the biggest problem. That's what we're trying to solve. And then how do you disseminate that ideology? So I am obsessed. There's. I'm literally. I'm trying to make it happen so that I can fly to Denmark. So imagine, literally within. Within 12 minutes of meeting this guy two days ago, I just start asking him questions, right? I love asking people questions. So I'm asking him questions and he, like, starts talking about the things that he's doing. And so he works at Lowe's. What do you do at Lowe's? Oh, I'm in the. I forget the exact name of it, but it's. It's essentially their innovation department. Oh, wow, that's cool. Like, what is Lowe's doing from an innovation Perspective. Oh, we actually have this narrative innovation department. Stop. What? We have a narrative innovation department. What does that mean? We actually disseminate comic books. Why do you disseminate comic books? I'm literally, like, freaking out, right? I start texting the team here. I'm like, you're never going to believe who I just met. So I'm like, what? You have a comic? I don't understand that. Like, why do you have that? Oh, well, I did my doctoral thesis on how people assimilate truly assimilate disruptive information. So I'm thinking, okay, wait a second. That's literally, like, what we are about. So I was like, tell me more. And he said, oh, I'm a neuroscientist by training, and I've looked at so many people and their brain in FMRI machines and how they assimilate all this information. And I've come to one very simple, overarching conclusion. The only way that human beings are able to assimilate truly disruptive information is narrative. And I was just like, oh, my God. So within 12 minutes of meeting this guy, I said, I want to come. Like, where is your headquarters? I have to see this. And he's like, denmark? Like, what do you mean, Denmark? I still don't even know why it's in Denmark. But I was like, dude, I'm coming to Denmark. When can I come? Literally, like, next. Can we go next week? And he was like, oh, funny enough, I'm actually going to be there in, like, it was a week and a half. So I said, awesome. I'm pinging the team. Hey, we got to find a way to get me on a flight to Denmark, because I really, really believe to the core of my being that Joseph Campbell was right. The only way to change the world is to change the metaphor. And this guy has the scientific evidence to why that's true, that we assimilate truly disruptive information through narrative. And that's it. Like, that's our Trojan horse. And it comes back to, don't try to change people's behavior. Try to leverage it right. Try to leverage what they're doing. Use that behavior. And that's why. Why are we making all this social content? Because it's what people do. They consume this content. Like, 24. Seven people are on their phones. They are looking at the social content. So I want to incept them. I want to meet them where they are, to give them what they need to empower themselves to do what they want to do. Church.

[Lisa]

All right. True Christmas. So this one comes From Thomas. Well, yeah, so this one comes from Thomas. Do either of us use negative associations in order to change behavior? I've started wearing a rubber band on one wrist every day and pull and snap it whenever I find myself beginning to check my email, frivolously scrolling Facebook, etc. To dissociate any positive reason why I do these things that waste my time.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Do you do it?

[Lisa]

What?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Negative reinforcement.

[Lisa]

Not really.

[Tom Bilyeu]

I do. I'm big on it. It's huge. This is why I say you have to.

[Lisa]

I don't know, I'm doing it.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Do you beat yourself up for anything?

[Lisa]

Occasionally, yes, but just randomly, right? Like, I'm very hard on myself, so it's like I have to also know when to like, pull back.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Well, so let's talk about that. Because there's using negative reinforcement as a tool and then there's beating yourself up, right? And most people, I think, get stuck in beating themselves up. So it's like, oh, you're bad. Why are you doing this? Like, see, you're as dumb as everyone told you you were. Like, that is not effective. But I routinely use, like, directed, pointed things, very negative, very aggressive comments towards myself about things that I've done that don't serve me, that don't move me towards my goals. And I think that's incredibly, incredibly powerful. But that is like, it's like a gun. You don't just give a gun to a kid, right? Have you seen that footage of the. The wedding where they were shooting guns and the guy sits down, kids, picks it up, shoots him and kills him. The kids, like two. It was crazy. Anyway, I don't want to derail on that, but that, literally, that is, that image is exactly how I feel about when I talk honestly about how I use negative reinforcement. Because I am terrified that people who already have, like, they're stuck in negative loops that are already not serving them. But that is the truth. Like, once you get to the point where you believe in yourself, you're totally focused on empowerment. You do and believe that which moves you forward. Like, once that's real in your life, then one of the things you're gonna realize that actually will move you towards your goals is self flagellation. Punishing yourself for doing things that don't serve you, that are. That run contrary to the things you told yourself you were gonna do. So like, I have a 10 minute rule, right? When in the morning, I look at the clock once I know I'm awake, and 10 minutes, I have 10 minutes to get out of bed. If I miss it, then I. I'll think about it all day. Not obsessively, but I will remind myself. You didn't do it today like you said you were gonna. In fact.

[Lisa]

Oh, yeah, okay. No, no, no. I'm just there. I'm just co signing word.

[Tom Bilyeu]

For sure. Don't start there because it can be super dangerous if you don't know when to stop. But once you can effectively do the, like, praise and punishment, that's when you're gonna get effective.

[Lisa]

Yeah. So, I mean, I guess I do do things like that where it's like, I do remind myself, like, you knew. You kind of knew better. So it's like, if I'm having an off day or like, whatever, or like, I didn't finish the task in a certain amount of time that I had set aside, it's like, okay, so you didn't do it. So what happened? And all that kind of stuff. So I go back and forth with myself in those ways, and then I deprive myself of things that I may have otherwise enjoyed.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Oh, go deeper. What do you mean? So, and this is like, okay, I failed to do something I told myself I was gonna do, and therefore I'm not.

[Lisa]

So, like, if let's say I wanted to have, like, a candy bar, well, it wouldn't be a candy bar. It'd probably be, like, sour gummies. Because, like, I'm obsessed with sour gummies.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Nice.

[Lisa]

So it's like, you know, if I'm

[Tom Bilyeu]

having to earn your sour gummies, so I do.

[Lisa]

I have to. Usually I have to earn them. And, like, there are only a few times when I, like, allow myself to be like, you know what? Like, you did your best today. And, like, I am fully aware that, like, things are just not going right for you. You can still have it. So it's like, it's both, like, my reward and, like, punishment sometimes. And, like, that's just like, a simple one. But, like, it's. It's.

[Tom Bilyeu]

I feel like it's an bright lines on your gummies because it sounds like you don't like that. That seems you're way better than I am.

[Lisa]

Not fully. Like, there was one time I bought, like, probably a pound of, like, sour

[Tom Bilyeu]

candy and, like, ate it just, like, in one sitting.

[Lisa]

Not in, like, one full sitting, but, like, over the course of maybe a couple hours.

[Tom Bilyeu]

And as you're doing it, are you thinking, like, this is okay, or are you like, I should not be eating my.

[Lisa]

As I was doing it, I was like, soup. I was like, super, super Fit at the time too. So it's like, it didn't feel as. As bad, like where I was like, oh, like I'm running like, you know, five miles today, like if I want to eat like a bag of gummies. And then like, I was like, really, like I was doing yoga and I was like doing barre and I was doing crossfit and like all these different like, activities and like, I think I have room. I think I have room.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Amazing.

[Lisa]

So it's like. And I feel like it's also because I'm like, still pretty young, so it's

[Tom Bilyeu]

like I can get away with it a bit. Yeah.

[Lisa]

So it's like one of those things where it's like I feel like there will come a day when I'm like, all right, I kind of have to like really curb it. But until I.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Well, let's talk about that though, because we. We went from like, this is reward and punishment, right? You earned your sour gummies to I can get away with it.

[Lisa]

Yeah. So it's like again, it's like the slide. I don't know.

[Tom Bilyeu]

That's so interesting. So I do similar things. So like one of the. And I do. So we all know I don't love working out, but I really, really enjoy food with protein. So like, I enjoy my quest chips, like unreasonably so. But I don't allow myself protein on days when I don't work out. So. And I do that for inflammation reasons. So I cycle through high protein days and high fat days. And it is, it has just been trends transformative in my life, but I actually prefer eating the high protein stuff just because I love crunch. Like, the crunch is so amazing. And so that's one of the ways, like this morning, right? So I woke up super early and I thought, wow, like, do I really need to get out of bed right now? And I thought, wait, wait, wait, wait, What? What do I have? What can I leverage to like spring myself out of bed? And I was like, okay, it'll be if I get up now. Because I didn't think I'd have time to work out because we were gonna be rolling at 6 and I have to pack, so I have to travel today. So I just thought it's never gonna happen, right? So I thought, but oh man, if I get up and I work out now, I can have protein all day. It's gonna be amazing. So that's how I sprung myself out of bed. So using food as a reward, but I have to use bright lines. Like I even have a Number. Like there's a number of sets that if I do, even though I've worked out, it's not enough to qualify for a workout day, right? So I have to. I have to have done at least three full exercises. So not. Not even just sets. Exercises. So I'll do six sets per exercise. I have to do three exercises. If I do two or two and a half or two and three quarters. Bright line at three. If I have not done three full exercises, it's. I count it that I did not work out that day. Bright lines, man. Have to have them for me. Like, that's a super useful technique for anybody out there wondering, like, how do you hold yourself accountable? Bright lines, bright lines, bright lines. Like, people used to think I was crazy. I would be starving. Like, right now. I am so hungry, you can't imagine. I am so hungry, you can't imagine. And I thought, well, like, we're doing the. The Q and A. I'm low energy today anyway. Like, if ever there was a day where I have an excuse to eat before 7. Because we all know I don't eat before I feed my dogs and I don't feed my dogs before seven. Which, by the way, a couple times banzai came out just off camera. But he's in here begging because he wants his food.

[Lisa]

Excuse me.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Wait a second. What's going on? You're all up, so. Exactly. So bright lines. Yeah, Steer by bright lines. The only way. Because otherwise, like, I would, you know, eating at 11:29 instead of 11:30 suddenly becomes 11:20 becomes 11 becomes. I'm eating when I wake up and

[Lisa]

it's just like, give them a. What is that saying? Give them a.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Give them an inch, they'll take a mile. Yeah, there's another one. Give a mouse a cookie and he'll ask for a glass of milk. Something like that.

[Lisa]

I don't know. I've never heard that.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Nicholas J. Robinson used to always say that. I love that. Oh, give a mouse a cracker and he'll ask for milk. Something.

[Lisa]

I have no idea. All right, so this is going to be our final question. This one comes from Brian because we gotta get you rolling.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yeah. What time is it?

[Lisa]

It's 7:06.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Oh, wow. This will be the last one. This is the last to be at an airport in less than an hour and a half.

[Lisa]

Yep. Okay. So it's popular to say happiness is a choice. And I really like what you say about happiness is constructed and a result of design. Can you elaborate on creating happiness versus it just being A choice?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yeah, for sure. So here it is. It's just like the question about how do you become high energy when you're low energy? There is. And I'm so, so thankful that this is a truth. There is a connection between the mind and the body. And when the mind isn't feeling it, you can get to it through the body. So if I'm not feeling happy, then I will literally force myself to laugh out loud. Like that's a real thing I do that. I don't have to do it as much anymore just because you really will come to see how true it is that there's a connection. Think about things you're grateful for. If you're in a bad mood, force yourself to say three things you're grateful for. But like, really try to feel the gratitude. I do. Too big and then one little. Or if I'm struggling, if I can't think of big things that I'm grateful for, then think of small things, man. Like, sunshine is awesome, right? I'm grateful for. I'm literally looking out the window right now and thinking about sunsets and like, or sunrises. Like, I love. That's so beautiful. And I'm grateful that I get to experience that. I think about my wife's smile a lot. I love my. My wife has this like smile that eats her whole face. Oh God. Like I just can't be in a bed. In fact, right now it is putting me in a good mood just to tell you guys how much I love that smile that she has. So. And sometimes I drive her nuts because I'm like, I want to take a picture of her and I'm like, I want your really big smile. And she's like, you know, okay, so I'll do that one. So. So it is so like as I'm explaining this, it is happening to me. Just telling somebody what to do to get in a good mood is putting me in a good mood. So it works. That's what I do. That's how you construct it. Use the body to get to the mind. Use the mind to get to the body. It is this self reinforcing cycle. So the days that my mind is there and my body's not, then I'm using identity that I push through things, narrative. Like, I've got the will. Like, come on, do this, prove something to myself. And on the days where like my mind is just not there, I know that I have this repertoire of tricks of using my body to get there. Smiling. Raise your eyebrows. It works. It works. Do you Know that Botox can actually impact depression because they can't frown. How fucking weird is that? That's amazing. But they also can't empathize. So.

[Lisa]

Yeah, I remember reading that, like, where it's like, they kind of lose that, like, other layer of.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yes.

[Lisa]

Being able to, like, recognize other people's emotions and, like, have other people read them and empathize with them. So I was, like, staying away from that.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yes.

[Lisa]

That's weird. Reason I was, like, empty is one of my, like, superpowers. Like, I'm not giving that up.

[Tom Bilyeu]

I love that. I do. You know? I know we have to rap.

[Lisa]

Okay.

[Tom Bilyeu]

But I'm gonna bet if you were to. And how would we do this? There's. There's an FMRI way to do this. It might even be a hard hormonal way because there's certainly genes. We could do a test on the employees here at Impact Theory. I promise you, we score much higher than average on empathy. I promise.

[Lisa]

Probably for sure. All right. And with that, we have to wrap. We have to wrap. Don't forget to share this live feed if it added value to your life today.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yes, please.

[Lisa]

And then also let us know in the comments what your big wins for the week were. That was a question that I posed to the audience. I like that.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yeah, I want to hear about that. And I read all the comments, so dropping stuff like that in, I try to respond, like, if you give me an emoji, chances are you're just gonna get an emoji. But, like, if you take the time to write something, I'm gonna write back. I try to write back to all comments. If you send me a private message, it may take me six months to reply. I'm just getting it real with you.

[Lisa]

Yeah, absolutely fair.

[Tom Bilyeu]

But the reason is because the community can't benefit from that. So. So let's all help the community. Let's all do things out in the open. I get it. There's some things that are too sensitive for that. Full respect. But if you drop it, if you're commenting on Twitter, ig, Facebook, you are going to hear back from me. So drop it in. Keep your eyes peeled for the responses.

[Lisa]

I'm so grateful you forgot YouTube for a second.

[Tom Bilyeu]

YouTube. Oh, my God. That's one of my favorite places. People are super thoughtful on YouTube. Thank you. So, yeah, jump in if you're not following me on those other social channels. Please do. I try to keep them all unique. So you're going to get different things on different channels. And. Yeah, so we're super grateful. Thank you guys so much for joining us. We do not take your time and attention and your questions for granted. We love it, we love it, we love it. So thank you guys so much. If you haven't already subscribed, be sure to do so. And until next time, my friends, be legendary. Take care.

[Lisa]

Bye guys.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Everybody, thank you so much for listening. And if this content is delivering value to you, Please go to iTunes, go to Stitcher Rate and review us. That helps us build this community. And that is what we are all about right now. Building this community as big as we can to help as many people as we can deliver as much value as possible. And you guys rating and reviewing really helps with that. All right, guys, thank you again so much. And until next time, my friends, be legendary. Take care.