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Lilly Singh
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Tom Bilyeu
Welcome to Impact Theory. Our goal with this show and company is to introduce you to the people and ideas that will help you actually execute on your dreams. All right, today's guest is a comedian, actress, entertainer, New York Times best selling author, and one of the biggest YouTube stars on the planet. With over 2.5 billion views to her name and a combined subscriber count of over 30 million, it's not hard to see why Forbes magazine named her the number one influencer in the entertainment category. Her rise to superstardom, however, was anything but. Obviously, her first video on YouTube only received 70 total views, and it took her the better part of a decade of serving her viewers her signature brand of hilarious positivity to rise to the top. Her determination, hard work and blinding commitment to her fans, however, paid off big time. And Forbes recently estimated her annual income at over $10 million, making her the top earning female on YouTube. She's also collaborated with some of the biggest stars in the world, including Will Smith, Bill Gates, Zendaya, Selena Gomez, and Dwayne the Rock Johnson. And proving that she's bankable beyond YouTube, she's also landed roles in the major motion pictures, Bad Moms, Ice Age, collision course, and HBO's Fahrenheit 451. Her reach even extends beyond entertainment. In 2017, she was appointed UNICEF's Global Goodwill Ambassador and her female empowerment initiative, Girl Love, was backed by Michelle Obama. And as if that wasn't enough, she's also a proven entrepreneur who has launched her own lipstick with Makeup juggernaut, Smashbox, and done brand partnerships with global giants such as Coca Cola, Pantene and Calvin Klein. So please help me in welcoming the woman Verve magazine called a pop culture superhero, the Superwoman herself, Lilly Singh.
Lilly Singh
How you doing? Good. Thanks for having me.
Tom Bilyeu
Thank you for being here.
Lilly Singh
Can you do my intros all the time? That's the plan that was the best thing. I was standing there and I was like, let's keep going. This is really good.
Tom Bilyeu
Well, we could have kept going. Really insane, what you've done with a platform that started out as a unknown, pretty much back when you started, YouTube was not like a future career thing like it is now, which is weird in and of itself, but. But also that it was born of the depression and trying to, like, kickstart and do something that was gonna shake you out of that. How did you begin that process of building something? What does the march to success start with?
Lilly Singh
Yeah, for me, honestly, it was unplanned, so it wasn't. I think right now we're in a time where a lot of creators think YouTube is a very sustainable platform. And I Wanna be a YouTuber. So let me be rich and famous on YouTube. When I started in 2010, that was not a thing. You know, I was the last person to catch on to YouTube. All my friends are watching this thing, and I was like, what are you guys wasting your time with on this video platform thing? It's going to disappear. And I spontaneously one day posted a video. Not because I thought it could be my job, not because I thought I could make money from it, but literally because I was sad. So the story is that I was getting my psychology degree and I wasn't passionate about it. And I was doing everything my sister had done before me, and I was following her footsteps blindly. And after I graduated, my dad was like, great, now get your master's degree. And I was like, okay, this is. I don't think I can do this anymore. I'm not passionate about any of these things. And so in that little funk, I discovered YouTube. So it's kind of like the stars aligning perfectly. And I posted a first video really spontaneously. It was a spoken word piece about religion. It was very, very, very bad. And it got 70 views. And I think I just fell in love with having a goal during that downtime and learning something new, something I wasn't trained at. Psychology doesn't really help that much with learning how to use a camera. And so I had to make it, and it was very exciting for me.
Tom Bilyeu
Speaking of making it up as you go along. So your book, how to be a Boss.
Lilly Singh
Yeah. Nailed the pronunciation. I know you were nervous. Everyone's nervous, right? How to be a.
Tom Bilyeu
You gotta practice.
Lilly Singh
You nailed it. You nailed it.
Tom Bilyeu
And reading the book A, I was impressed because it's really good. And so that I hope people really pick it up. It's. It got A lot of stuff that's incredibly usable. And in it, you were describing what a bawse is. Exactly. Elder again, huh? I'm gonna keep the whole time I got you and what I loved about it. There was something in it so surprising, and I wanted to ask you about it. And you said that a boss is somebody that is hurt efficiently.
Lilly Singh
Yes.
Tom Bilyeu
And I thought, whoa, what does that mean? How does one.
Lilly Singh
Yeah, it's kind of another way of saying it is that there's no failures, there's lessons. I mean, that's another way of putting it. But it's just this idea of when I reflect back in my life and I think about all the times I really became a better person or a smarter person, it's because of something that. That was very hurtful or painful or an unpleasant experience. And now, I think very often in the future now when I'm through those experiences, that's inevitable. We're all gonna get heartbroken over and over again. We're all gonna deal with failures all over again. But it's how we think about those moments in that moment. So I've kind of trained my brain to allow myself to be upset when I'm heartbroken, allow myself to feel failure, but not be down in the dumps about it for too long. Not be like, oh, well, I'm worthless, or, oh, well, this is just how it's meant to be, and the world's against me. Getting hurt efficiently means we're hurt. How can we efficiently learn a lesson in this moment? What could I have done differently? What could I expected differently? How could I have reacted differently? So that the next time you will be heartbroken, which you will be, it's inevitable you're better equipped to deal with it.
Tom Bilyeu
So you've got a lot of codifications, ways of conceptualizing life and how things are and how you should react to them. You talk about getting control of your mind. Where did you begin to put all of this stuff together? And what are some of the really important parts of your code of beliefs?
Lilly Singh
You know, it's funny, when I was writing my book and I was sitting in my room all alone, I thought, oh, my God, I think I'm really smart. Honestly, I was writing all this stuff because, like, these are all things I've done in my life and experiences I've had. But it wasn't until I was compiling them in a book that I thought, oh, these are just organized lessons of my life. And so the book writing experience was liberating for me and very educational for Me as well. And I'm so glad that people that read it feel the same way. But the code, honestly came from being unhappy. That's the truth. I think I learned how to be happy because I know what unhappiness felt like. And I was able to dissect all the reasons I was unhappy. You know, all the reasons. One of them, blindly following my sister, doing what she was doing, listening to everyone else except myself, not paying attention to all the signs my mind and body were giving me, saying, we're not doing the right thing. And I think having so much experience in that dark phase really helps you become better, because how can you become better if you don't know what the worst version of yourself is?
Tom Bilyeu
And what are some of those signs of the mind and body? What do they look like? What do they feel like? Because I think this is something that people struggle with a lot.
Lilly Singh
Yeah, People often ask me. They watch my vlogs, my second blog channel, where I'm doing a whole bunch of stuff in a day. You know, today, for example, I already had two meetings. I'm gonna come here, I'm gonna go home. I'm gonna prep for a shoot. I do so many things in a day, and people are like, how. How do you do this? Like, what is the trick? It's because I really love what I do, and I'm really passionate about what I do. And I think one of the signs my body and mind were giving me before is that I would get lazy really quickly. I would get t quickly. I would cut corners and come up with little justifications as to why that was okay. Like, I would be studying for my. My psych stuff and being like, oh, well, like, you know, is this section really important? Probably not. You know, we'll just skim this over. I don't do that with what I'm doing right now. I'm really thorough, and I think that's a sign of doing the right thing. Of course, if I'm real, we don't always have that luxury. You know, we don't have the luxury of doing what we want to do all the time. So it's important to kind of pay your dues in that way. The first video I made sucked. It totally sucked. My body wasn't like, this is the right thing to do. You know, I had to pay my dues and get better at it. But I think you shouldn't just not try, because you have to pay your dues.
Tom Bilyeu
I want to talk about that. So what I love in that. And you've got the whole thing of take the stairs over the escalator and that your whole path to success has been the stairs. It's been the long grind. It's been the slow build, which is amazing. And you talk about that creates a much better foundation. So if this is a process, you
Lilly Singh
really read the book.
Tom Bilyeu
I really.
Lilly Singh
I'm so impressed. This is like, more than, like, a little synopsis you read. This is very good.
Tom Bilyeu
Yes.
Lilly Singh
So you should subscribe.
Tom Bilyeu
Thank you. And what I really want to know. So if this is a process, like, okay, so I begin to recognize the things that are making me tired, fatigue. And these are signs that I'm not on the right path. But I know the next question is going to be, so how do I find the right path? What. What is that process?
Lilly Singh
Yeah, you know, for me, I went through this phase where I just stopped saying no to things. So when I first started YouTube, I thought, okay, I'm. I'm opening the gates up to this new platform and this new type of creation I've never done before. But I've also started going to shows more often. I started to meet different types of people. I think a big part of finding out what's right for you is stop confining yourself to a path that you've been convinced is the path. This, what I'm doing right now is nowhere on the path. For a young Indian girl that's a part of my family, like, this is nowhere on the path. It was very much so. Go to school and get married and have kids, and that's a success. If you're able to have those kids and give my mom some grandkids, you're successful. And I think it's about really stepping outside of that and exploring whether that's in school and taking classes that you might not take at first glance, whether it's going and experiencing different types of arts, meeting different types of people, making new friends. I think there's so much out there that you don't even know exists. And I'm a testament to that. I make videos on the Internet. Ask my mom if she thought that could have been a job when she was growing up, you know? So I think it's all about just really getting out there and seeing what's available.
Tom Bilyeu
And so then what are the signs that somebody should look for to know that, okay, this is something that resonates,
Lilly Singh
I think, okay, I love sleep. I just need to emphasize I love sleep. But there's some mornings when I wake up and I'm like, I don't even care how tired I am. I'm so excited about this day. So I think being excited to wake up also, you'll just see it in your energy. I think, as well, the little pep in your step I have when I'm walking to set is really telling. Also the people you surround yourself with, I think when you start to get surrounded by people, and my team is a great example of this, that really bring out the best in you. And you feel yourself growing and learning and maybe a little more patient or a little more creative or you think about things a little differently. Any type of evolution like that, I think is definitely signs you're doing the right thing. You know, this. This entire career path has been everything but comfortable. No part of it's comfortable. So even on the days when I come home and I think, that was horrible. That audition was horrible. I can literally feel part of me evolving as like, okay, but you did it. And now you know for the next one, what to do. You'll know what to expect for the next one. And those scary things are all signs that you're doing the right thing because you're growing.
Tom Bilyeu
That's really interesting. And the concept of getting outside of your comfort zone, I know that's really big for you. How do you push yourself to do that? And how do you make sure that you're getting something out of it? Because I'll give you, like, a real fear that I have for people, because it's exactly what happened to me. So I forced myself out of my comfort zone. Same thing. I know that famous quote, like, your. Your dream world's just on the other side of your comfort and all that. So I put myself into business. I was learning it. I was always behind. I always was embarrassing myself and looking stupid. And so as I was gaining skills, I was also gaining a massive amount of anxiety. And so how do people make the most of those moments of discomfort?
Lilly Singh
Well, you know, I'm happy that you touched on anxiety, because it's a real thing. And a lot of being an entrepreneur is stressful, and it is. Does take a toll on your body, your mind, and your health. And so something I believe to be equally as productive as work is meditation and taking some time to recover. I have something called Rejuvenation Sunday. I mean, it's in my calendar. It prompts up sometimes on that Sunday. I'm like, need to even work. But it's in my calendar, and it goes off every Sunday. I think taking those times to actually consolidate those lessons and resetting yourself is very Very important. Because at the end of the day, we are beings that get tired and we wear down. And I think that's important. But making the most out of stepping out of your comfort zone. I have this thing where I like to visualize things. I know, because it's easy to talk about all of these things and then talk about Tumblr quotes and like, oh, cool, success. But when you're actually down to it, it's hard. It's hard walking into an audition for an example and then doing really badly and going home and thinking like, oh, well, I stepped out of my comfort zone, so I should be happy. That's not a practical thing that's going to happen. You're going to go home, you're going to be sad, you're going to eat the ice cream. I've done it. I've done it all the time. But I think visualizing like, okay, this is me, this is my goal. And I literally do this with my hands every time I have a failure. This is me. This is the goal. There is nothing in between there. I need to create whatever is in between there. Whether I do really well or really bad, that's going to be a step. And I think visualizing every failure as a little stone towards where you need to go is really helpful.
Tom Bilyeu
You talk really powerfully about ownership and taking on in those moments where you've just fallen on your face and you're feeling uber shitty and you want to go eat the bowl of ice cream, or maybe you're knee deep in the Haagen Dazs. How do you begin to get yourself out of that? To tell yourself something that's ownership based. That's like, this was me. I created this situation.
Lilly Singh
And so, yeah, the reason I'm so big on ownership is because I'm obsessed with efficiency. And I just feel like it's so much more efficient to take ownership for things than to not. Because if you don't take ownership for something, who's going to fix it? Then it's just hanging there in the air of this unsolved problem that no one's addressing. When you take ownership for a mistake or decision or something you did, not even a mistake, maybe a bad audition, you did, you are then able to at least work on it and improve for the next time. If you don't take ownership like, oh, it was the casting director. Oh, it was because I was sick. It was because of whatever you've literally said, okay, I need to change nothing now. It's not in my control. Taking ownership Means you've taken control to actually make a different impact the next time you do that thing. So it's just the smart, factual, scientific, efficient thing to do.
Tom Bilyeu
And when you take that control, how do you keep it from damaging your sense of self?
Lilly Singh
Oh yeah, that's a tough one. This is where the ice cream helps as well. Here's the thing. A lot of this, and I'd be lying if I said that I was always super confident and always, you know, feeling myself. I'm not. I have days where I'm super low and I'm on a roller coaster just like everybody else. Else. It's okay to feel crappy sometimes. I think it's important to feel crappy sometimes. Everyone should know what it feels like to feel crappy. Because then when you don't feel crappy. Like for example, when I was standing there and you were introducing me and you were like highest paid film, I thought, oh my God, remember when I felt crappy? And it's really important moments when you don't feel crappy. But I would say your self worth has to come from not only yourself but your environment. I'm really big on your physical, spiritual, and even the people around you are really important. So when I went through a lot of failures, it was hard to dig myself out when it was me alone in my bedroom and my parents were downstairs. Not because my parents are bad, my parents are lovely. But they had no idea about the world I was in or what I was going through. When I'm with my team and my friends that are kind of not only supportive but can really relate to what you're going through and it's really helpful. So how do you dig out of that? Obviously you gotta love yourself. That might be hard. Surround yourself with good people in a good environment. Put sticky notes around your room, you know, have things that make you happy around your room. My room and my whole home is just, it's like a positive rainbow Willy Wonka. Amazing. I have a drawer that's just full of Skittles. Like it's not because I want to eat it, it's just full of Skittles. Just because opening the drawer makes me really happy and I want to see that many Skittles every time I open the drawer.
Tom Bilyeu
I so get that.
Lilly Singh
You know what I mean? So when I'm feeling bad after audition I just go, they're the skittles. You know, small things. I have quotes all around my house. I have certain friends that are my go to friends that not necessarily because they give the Best advice, they're just gonna listen, they're gonna be there, and they're not gonna judge me. It's impossible to think you can do these things on your own. You can do a lot of it by yourself, but you're gonna reach a point where you're like, I need good people and a good environment to pull myself out of these funks that I get from stepping out of my comfort zone.
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Tom Bilyeu
That's amazing, and it's super interesting given your context. So now back to your parents. You're surrounded by sister parents, a whole culture. They all have ideas for where you should be going. And it seems like from the things you say, that your family's just like beautiful people that want good things for you.
Lilly Singh
Amazing.
Tom Bilyeu
But at the same time, they were pushing you in a direction that wasn't making you happy. So how do you buck against societal trends? How do you push against your parents? Like, how do you build the courage, the self confidence? Maybe it's the vision to live a life that hasn't been lived before.
Lilly Singh
The simple answer is, I had to prove it. Like, there was no fairytale scenario where I went up to my parents and said, I want to do this. La, la la, let me do this. I'm gonna go do this now. They were like, come back here. You have a year to do this. And they literally told me, if you don't get anywhere in a year, you're going to go to grad school. So I had a timeline on my success where I needed to prove in a year I could make something happen in the entertainment industry. Gratefully, that worked out but not easily. All they wanted to know was, my daughter's gonna be okay. She's gonna be able to sustain for herself, and she's not gonna be on the streets. Quite bluntly, that's what they wanted. And so I had to prove it. I had to take them to my shows. They saw me perform. I had to, you know, look, here's a check. I got a check. I. I bought this thing. I bought a camera. I bought this with money. And I had to prove to them that this could become something. Because, listen, a lot of our parents, especially mine, that are from a different time and place, it's not that they want you to be unhappy. They just don't get it. You know, my mom grew up in a time when, like I said, making videos on the Internet. She didn't have the Internet. There wasn't even that option. It was literally like, you're gonna be a teacher, a doctor, a lawyer. Like, that's what we know. And that's. That's all. So they weren't telling me to go to school because they hate me. They were telling me to go to school because they were like, that's what you have to do. What else is there to do? And I had to teach them. And I think there's a learning curve that's really important there.
Tom Bilyeu
So you've talked a lot about obsession, and you said you worked relentlessly hard to do that. Do you cultivate that obsession? Like, how do you separate yourself from the people who are really good? How do you become really extraordinary?
Lilly Singh
It's exactly what you said. You have to be obsessed. And I know the word obsessed has a negative connotation, and rightfully, it should a little bit. I think anyone who's really great at something is because they're obsessed. They wake up and they're thinking about it, and throughout their day, they're thinking about it. And when they sleep, they're thinking about it. In the middle of the night, they might wake up thinking about it. That is me with this video ideas. I wake up in the middle of the night, and I have to wake up and jot something down. Some of my video ideas are little dreams I've had. So I'm, like, working in my sleep. There is a level of obsession. And when I say that, usually people say, well, that's not really that healthy. And you're right. Some of it is a little unhealthy. Sometimes it does take over my life. Sometimes I do have to draw the line. And I say, nope, I need to go meditate. In my room, I can't do this. But I don't know of a single successful person that didn't, for at least a little period of time have that obsession over being successful.
Tom Bilyeu
Let me ask you, in those moments where you decide that you're gonna go meditate, is that based on hours you've spent or how you feel?
Lilly Singh
How I feel 100% how I feel. Which is more reactive than proactive. So I would love to change that. But I'm very scientific with things. I'm very like, when I write down my thoughts, I will literally dissect them, figure out what problems they are, come up with solutions, and then write down the solution. So I'm very mechanical. I do believe that humans, we are complex, we have feelings, we have emotions. But I do think when we strip all that away, there are very easy solutions to a lot of our problems that we make complicated.
Tom Bilyeu
Yeah, that kind of process based self awareness I find really, really interesting. How much time do you spend doing that?
Lilly Singh
Depends how I feel. Sometimes it can be like hours or sometimes it can just be like a quick 30 minute thing I need to do.
Tom Bilyeu
So picking up on that, the how you feel thing. So first of all, I'm way an enabler for people that are obsessed. So if being obsessed is bad and it's a drug addict, I'm like your dealer.
Lilly Singh
I appreciate that because I always say that with a bit of caution where I'm like, is he gonna say something that he's not okay with this? I don't know.
Tom Bilyeu
My thing is either you want an extraordinary life or you don't. And if you want an extraordinary life, you're gonna have to pay an extraordinary price. Like that's just the way life goes. So I'm actually really interested in that. And when I hear you talk about it, I always hear the hedge. And I get it because you live in a world where people are gonna make comments, of course. And if you can just eliminate some of that.
Lilly Singh
I've had videos where I've talked about this. I had a, you know, a bunch of people that like, well, that's not healthy. But you're encouraging kids, you're encouraging them not to sleep. I'm like, no, I sleep. I'm not encouraging them not to sleep. But I do want to realistically tell people that if you want to achieve something at such a level like it costs a price. Because I do fear right now with all the cute Tumblr quotes and all the, you know, the idea that you're special and you're Worth it. Everyone's special and you are with it, but you need to work for it. Like, it's not gonna. A Tumblr quote of you believing in yourself is not gonna get you successful. So I also do fear that the opposite of that is letting kids know. Like, yeah, get your sleep and get this. And just believe in yourself and you're special and you'll get it done. Like, is that really going to get them success, though? It's that in combination with a lot of hard work. And I think that latter part is never told in a very straightforward, accurate way.
Tom Bilyeu
Yeah. I love that you had a quote that really hit me. I'll paraphrase it. I'll get close. The universe may like the law of attraction, but it likes a hustle, a good hustle, even more.
Lilly Singh
That's like, word for word what it is, by the way.
Tom Bilyeu
I love it.
Lilly Singh
Please subscribe immediately. That was the word for word what the quote is. Wow.
Tom Bilyeu
It's such a good quote and it's so important for people to understand. And one thing I would love for you to try to capture for people is. And I'll serve this one up because I know you like the hard questions. I've watched your live answers, which are great, by the way. Thanks. And what is the beautiful part? The beautiful part of an obsession? Because I know you don't want to. So the reason I kept harping on, do you do it based on time or feeling? And you said always feeling, which means you're in tune. So when you give the advice, you're assuming that person's in tune, that they listen to themselves. And when it's getting unhealthy, you would expect them to stop. But what's that beautiful part of the obsession of going after something extraordinary that you want? You want that young girl or young boy to see and chase?
Lilly Singh
Honestly, it's purpose. My obsession has given me great purpose. I know what it feels like to wake up and just aimlessly be like, guess I'm gonna go through the motions of my day. Maybe I'll talk to this person. I'll eat these Fruit Loops. Cool. I'll do whatever I need to do. Waking up with my obsession is honestly exciting. I get to wake up, I get to make rules and break rules. When you have an obsession, no matter what industry you're in, you get into that mindset where you're like, what else could I do to innovate this? What could I do differently? What could I do that's never been done before? So every day you really Feel like you're adding value to the world and adding value to the people around you. That's a beautiful part of obsession. My obsession has led me to 13 million subscribers that watch me and also gain inspiration from what I do. And, you know, I'm hoping the people that surround me every day are also inspired by some of the stuff we do. So it's. It's the chain reaction you cause, you know that purpose and you give other people purpose, and now they're going to give someone else purpose. So it's just, it's. You lose a little sleep, but look at the result. It's a small cost to pay, I feel. And I love sleep. I love sleep. I need to emphasize that I love sleep. But like, there's gonna be days, like on tour is a prime example. On a regular day, like, how many hours of sleep do you need? If you're like, I'm rested. I need this many hours of sleep.
Tom Bilyeu
Six.
Lilly Singh
Yeah. See that? For me, that's amazing. You're a superhero. Me, if I could choose 10 hours, I would, like, want 10 hours of sleep. But then on tour, when I'm traveling around the world and performing, there's days where I get two and I wake up and I'm like, let's go, let's do the thing. It's a small cost to pay for sometimes for a big result.
Tom Bilyeu
I love that, man. And your ability to create energy is extraordinary. And I'm gonna reach in your soul because I know you did this on purpose.
Lilly Singh
Yes.
Tom Bilyeu
You filmed a few videos where you were sick or exhausted or whatever. And you would leave four frames, frames of your exhaustion at the very end. So you'd be like, right as you cut the camera at the very end. And I was like, that's so smart. Because I can, in that realize the power statement, which is if you want something in life, you're gonna have to create energy. You're not always gonna feel like doing it.
Lilly Singh
Yeah, I listen. In addition to entertaining, I do funny stuff. That's primarily what I do. But a lot of what I would like to do, I believe I'm doing is encouraging the hustle. It's like I'm doing all this funny stuff. It's not a 10 minute video. Doesn't take 10 minutes, you know, it takes a village. And it takes a lot, a lot of time. And you're absolutely right. I do do that in my vlogs and my main channel videos. I'm not. People know how much work this takes. I think that's what makes What I do so special because back in the day, traditional, for lack of a better word, celebrities, they were perfect. They were always on and always flawless. I would like to show people, a person who works really tired, really long hours, gets really tired, gets pimples, and, like, that's what it takes to do what I'm doing. You know, it's not just that I show up and everything's glamorous, and then I reap all the benefits. That's not what it is. That's not what it is for anybody, but it's not. It's a lot of work. So if you're watching this and you're like, let me dissect this interview, like, what are the tips and tricks? There's no tips and tricks. There's just a lot of work. It's a lot of work. It's a lot of focused work. And that's the biggest message I can drive home, is that, of course, there's practices and things you can do, but you need to stop making excuses. You need to put your head down, and you need to make a plan, and then you need to execute the plan.
Tom Bilyeu
The two things I think stall people out is one, they're looking for a tip or a trick or a shortcut, which means that they're just coming at it from the wrong way. And then two, nobody does what you just did, which is talk about the beauty. Beautiful part, the reward, the purpose that you get out of something, which is really, really extraordinary. Talk to me about. Like, this was arguably the most surprising thing that I read in your book, and that was that for somebody who was so vulnerable, you don't always want to show all your vulnerabilities. You want to keep some secrets.
Lilly Singh
Chapter two.
Tom Bilyeu
Yeah.
Lilly Singh
So Game of Thrones chapter.
Tom Bilyeu
Yeah.
Lilly Singh
Yeah. I just. I think I grew up, and I think many people do grow up thinking that a successful relationship or a right, correct relationship is one where you are completely transparent with other people. And I'm gonna say yes and no to that. You know, I grew up with a very strong mother that had to deal with some challenges in her life, and she wasn't always able to show all of her cards to everyone. And that's something she taught me at a young age. She thought, you can be honest. Doesn't mean you have to lie to people. But there's no need to share every detail about your strengths and weaknesses in your life with other people, because you never know where life is gonna take you. You never know what that information will be used for. And so it's the same thing of when I'm in a meeting, you know, if I'm listening to someone. I've been told very often that I have a poker face in meetings and that the person doesn't know what I'm thinking. And that's my version of being secretive. I don't want them to know if I'm really, really excited or if I'm super disappointed what they're saying. Because I want time to think about it. And I wanna, after this meeting, go back and consolidate my thoughts and then approach it with tactic. So I don't wanna always be so revealing.
Tom Bilyeu
I think I love how much you. You make moves, right? You calculate, you do things according to a plan. I love that.
Lilly Singh
Yes. And calculate to a plan. But sometimes I also just like, if I'm feeling something is right, I'm like, this is not a part of a plan, but this feels right for me.
Tom Bilyeu
That's interesting. How often do you override?
Lilly Singh
It's hard to put a ratio on it. I'd say I do like to be calculated, but on the off chance that there is something that needs to be addressed that's not calculated, I will do so accordingly because I still want to have that human instinct in me. I think that's important to not die. Plan, plan, plan, that's good. But I still want to have the ability to be like, I need to act and jump right away on this thing.
Tom Bilyeu
What I find interesting about people that have a degree of like, okay, I know exactly what I'm trying to get for my life. There's really a plan here. There's a roadmap, there's something I'm executing against is they're just able to accomplish so much more. And then the intriguing part becomes that the ability to believe in the big thing and you've been really open about just how much you want to accomplish in your life. How have you stepped into owning that? Which I think is really, really difficult for everybody and can be almost paralyzing for some women because they're not rewarded for it oftentimes. So how have you learned to step into that? What are things that people could take away and implement in their own lives?
Lilly Singh
I'm glad you said the women part because I think that's something women really struggle with. I've had this conversation with, I think, a mutual friend of ours, Cassie as well. And I talk with a lot of my fellow women and I'm like, okay, we are all bomb. Like, we're doing a lot of cool stuff. Every time we have to talk about it, we're kind of like, oh, okay, let's just beat around the bush a little bit. It's difficult for women. I think. We're not praised for that. I've started to care less about that. And the prime reason for that is I have a very good idol, and his name is Dwayne the Rock Johnson. And I think he is someone who is so successful. And the number one thing I've learned from him is how he shares his success in such a humble way that also validates himself. If you ever just go on his Instagram, it's from a place that's like, this cool stuff is happening, and it's really exciting and important for me. So I'm gonna. I'm gonna share it because it means a lot to me. But this is. This doesn't make me better than anybody else. And nor does this put me on a pedestal of any type. Not because it's gonna alter the way you think about me. I'm just proud of this thing. And so I think we need to change our association, our relationship with our success in that way.
Tom Bilyeu
It's interesting. So you talk about taking the GPS deep and really going inside yourself, really figuring out what your issues are, what motivates you. How do people do that? How do they get good at that? How do they get good? Because you even broke it down. Like, this is level one discovery. So how do you help people figure out what the realities of those tears are?
Lilly Singh
Yeah. So quick summary would be that anything we do, any action we make, I believe we have many layers as to why we made that decision at the top is like, oh, I made this decision. What I tell everybody else of why I made that decision. The second layer is what I tell myself. So say if I took this glass and I broke this glass, okay. What I tell everybody else is like, oh, it slipped. The glass slipped. Then what I tell myself when I dig a little deeper is, oh, I thought it would be funny. So I, like, broke the glass. Okay. Then if I dig really, really deep into, like. Well, the real reason I smashed this glass, it would be because, honestly, I think the segment I was doing really, really bad, and I wanted a distraction. That's not true. I think I'm killing this. But from the point of this example, what I'm saying is, when you dig really, really deep, we lie to ourselves so often. And that's the number, not the number one. But one of the ways to succeed is just to really address that, because people think of lying to other people only when you think of lying, you think, oh, I lied to my mom. I lied to my boyfriend. I lied to whoever. We lie to ourselves all the time about why we did something, why we said something. Sometimes our instincts can kick in. Like, if you ask me an uncomfortable question, I'll respond because it's uncomfortable, but what I'm saying to you is not true. If I dig deeper, I understand why I acted that way. It's really important. You need to be in tune with yourself if you want to be successful. I mean, the world gets really uncomfortable. Success gets really uncomfortable sometimes. It's a lot of stress. It's a lot of pressure. If you're not truly in tune with your biggest teammate, which is yourself, there's no way you can succeed. You need to know yourself really well. So I encourage everyone to actually write down things like, I made this decision. Why did I do that? Write down all the reasons you did it, and be real with yourself. Say it out loud in an empty room where no one can hear you. So there's no pressure. Why did you say that? Why did you do that? Were you scared? Were you nervous? And then why? It can go back to your childhood. Sometimes it can go back to some horrible experiences you had, but it's better to address it, you know?
Tom Bilyeu
Yeah, no, for sure. You talk a lot about loving yourself. So in that process of going in, how do you help yourself? Or maybe how do you help other people when they dig deeper and they realize some of their motives are ugly to them, Right? That they know that it's coming from an insecurity or something. How do you help them, even in those moments, love themselves, sort of warts and all?
Lilly Singh
I have this analogy in my book which is like, listen, when you dig really deep, sometimes you find things that are horrible that can't be fixed. Sometimes you've had a childhood or an experience where you're like, I can work really hard on this, but I know this is so embedded in my very every molecule of myself that I won't be able to change it. And then my analogy is, all right, then put a bucket under a leaky faucet. If you know it's there, you can at least be really honest about it. The example I give in the book is I have major trust issues. I will openly admit that everyone watching is like, preach, girl. Same. I know you can all relate, but it's. When you. When you dig deep down, you'll. You'll find the reason for those trust issues is either something you can work on and then hopefully you can fix or something you simply cannot. And my bucket for that leaky faucet is every relationship I get into, literally, I tell them this exact sentence. Like, listen, I have really big trust issues. If you lie to me, I will not be able to forgive you. I'm telling you right now. That's why I'm single. First dates. That's what I say. But no, no, but it's true. It's what I say. I say I want to. It's not that I don't want to forgive you. Every part of me will want to forgive you if you lie, but I will not be able to. I'm openly telling you this right now so that you know if you lie, that's going to be the leaky faucet that comes out and all you're going to have is a bucket. You're not going to be able to fix it. So it's about addressing it and being honest. And there's not solutions to every problem. That's okay. At least you know the problem. At least the problem isn't that you don't know the problem.
Tom Bilyeu
Right?
Lilly Singh
You know?
Tom Bilyeu
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
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Tom Bilyeu
So as people go into this and as they begin to accept themselves, how do they start getting momentum going in a positive direction so that they really do feel love for themselves that the first thought that they have in the morning isn't one that's negative? How do they, from a process standpoint, make that happen?
Lilly Singh
For me, there was a period of time where I really didn't love myself. I think it's that time before I started YouTube, where if I loved myself, I would have got out of bed, you know, if I loved myself or that's not fair. I guess there's, there's a lot of reasons. But for my personal journey, I guess not to generalize, if I loved myself, I would have had goals at that time. I would have taken better care of myself. I would have spent time with my friends. My change came with not only within, but how I was treating myself outside, like I mentioned. So I stopped putting myself in a dark room. I started opening the curtains. I started to answer my friends phone calls. I started to talk to people. The first time I ever talked to my parents about anything I was feeling really, really strongly emotionally was when I got out of that depression. Prior to that, for all the years of my life, I'd never had a conversation with my parents that was like, this is what I'm really feeling inside. And so I started to accept that I needed help and I need to talk to people. I even started dressing differently. I was like, these shoes are fun. I'm gonna wear these shoes. They just make me happy. And it was making all those small decisions every single day. A lot of positive self talk as well, I think. You know, even now when I accomplish something, I don't care how many people come up to me and say, congratulations, you did really well. This is a cool thing. When I lie down at bed, I literally hug myself and I'm like, you did really good. That was a really good thing you did today. Even today with all the people that are validating me, it's still means something for me to tell myself, you did a really good job. If I'm having a bad day, this is something I've practiced for years. I will talk to myself as well. You know, if I had a really bad meeting, I'll get into my car and I go, that sucked. It's okay, you know what? We're going to do better next time. And it's just about being your friend, you know, just like how you would talk to another friend. You got to talk to yourself the same way. And it's a journey. There's no easy solution. There's no, like, now I love myself. It's a process, it's a journey. It's going to be hard as all things are.
Tom Bilyeu
Well, so now let's really make it complicated. So when you mess up. Yup. You're gonna have an internal critic. That's always brutal. But in today's age with social media and you're like, an extreme example of somebody that has to deal with this, but every kid now has to deal with, like the one off tweet about them being fat, ugly, stupid, whatever. How do you encounter something like that and not let it become part of your internal narrative?
Lilly Singh
Yeah, I think with social media, we really need to understand why people use it the way they use it. I truly believe this should be a class in school. Because social media is such a big part of everyone's life. When someone writes something on the Internet, we need to really put ourselves in their shoes. This is what I literally do. I get a lot of hate comments. I mean, someone just commented saying, like, I slept with YouTube execs to get my subscribers. And I'm like, who told you? But literally, I just imagine the person sitting there writing this comment and I think, okay, I didn't write a comment like this to someone today. I didn't wake up and think that I need to write something mean to someone. Why? Why didn't I do that? Let me think it's because, well, one, I'm busy. I'm. I'm happy. I don't. That doesn't make me happy. Doing that won't make me happy. And I just don't see the need to do that. So why did this person feel the need to do that? So then I put myself in their shoes. Well, clearly they gained something from this, or else people don't do things. Everyone does things because it makes them feel good or they gain something from it. That's why people smoke even though they know they're getting cancer, because it feels good. And so they're gaining something from putting someone el. Which means they're not happy. They're not in a happy place. They're not accomplishing the goals they want to accomplish. I think it's really important at a young age for kids to know that, that when someone writes something on the Internet, they're not telling your story, they're telling theirs. They're telling their story of unhappiness and not being where they want to be. And I really believe that. So there's many times where I read a hate comment and I go, oh, I'm going to roast you. And I write something and I. I literally just delete it because I'm like, I'm not, I'm not. You have your own issue you're dealing with, and I'm not going to. It's gonna be to no benefit to me to respond.
Tom Bilyeu
I know you talk really interestingly about getting control of your mind. You've talked about treating basically life like you're playing Nintendo. How do you get control of your emotions? How do you get Nintendo?
Lilly Singh
Watch this, by the way, because I would love a brand deal. Nintendo. If you're watching this, it's in my book. You might as well. I think it goes a little bit back to taking ownership. You know, when you take ownership, it's not like when you're playing Nintendo, you go, oh, Mario died. Because the thing in the. No, Mario. You killed Mario. Like, just take the ownership. So I think it goes back to. You can't control the environment you're in. You know when you have a really, really bad day, you can't control the other driver that cut you off. You can't control whoever was mean to you. You can't control the fact that you missed the elevator. You can't control any of those things. You can only control yourself. So it's about being more proactive. How do you do that? Well, okay, if a driver's gonna cut you off, play some really good music so you're in a good mood, leave five minutes earlier. You know what I mean? If you missed the elevator and you were late, wake up earlier. It's about doing those proactive things. And the simplest example. The simplest example everyone can relate to. What's the most infuriating thing that happens to us every day? Our phone dying. Back in the day, this used to infuriate me. My phone would die, and I'd have to go to a meeting, and I wouldn't know where it was or where to park. And I went. GPS would die. You know what I did? I played Nintendo. I was like, well, I can't control the phone. I can't control the environment. I can't control the parking of the meeting. You know what I control? Putting a damn charger in my car. And then that's what I did. And then that whole situation was solved. That's a really small example. But we had things like that throughout our entire lives. Not having the thing you need when you need it, or not getting somewhere on time, not having the conversation you've had. There's solutions to all those things. If you just take control and figure out what's in your control and stop blaming the environment. And I use Mario because it's a prime example. The platform is not to blame. You can't blame Bowser. You can't blame the Koopa troopas. It's Mario. You blame Mario. You are Mario.
Tom Bilyeu
Those are some good references. So talk to me about your concept of f plan.
Lilly Singh
B, yes, F. A plan B. I'm sure this is probably a thing in a lot of cultures, not just specific to Indian culture, but my parents always raised me with a huge, huge importance on having a plan and then a plan B. So something to fall back on. And that's very often how my parents viewed a degree as well. I would always be like, but I don't want to do psychology. I don't want to use my psychology degree. I'm never going to do something related to this. And my dad would always be like, well, it's something to fall back on. But that was always what they thought. You should have a backup plan. I felt that when I decided to take that year to hustle really hard, that backup plan was always in my mind as something to fall back on. So anytime I would work really hard, I would think, oh, well, if I don't figure this out, you know, I have that backup plan. And if this video stuff doesn't work out, then I won't fail because I have that backup plan. But because I was doing that, I think I wasn't putting the 2000% effort I needed into things because there was always that safety net there. When I officially decided, like, no, I am not going to do that. I'm going to do what I set out to do, which was do entertainment. And in this year, I'm going to become successful. I started doing things with so much more effort and relentlessness where you could see the difference in the result. And I know that's really scary and a lot of parents disagree with me when I say this, but I think it's important. I think, you know, kids need to be given credit. I think if they have a plan A and really, really give it their all and see years and years from now, it doesn't go anywhere, they will figure it out. I think kids these days are really smart and they have a lot of options and they have a lot of resources. And the fact that I'm sitting here with a career that I have is a testament to that.
Tom Bilyeu
That's interesting. And I loved earlier when you said that there should be a class for figuring some of this stuff out, which is.
Lilly Singh
I think there should be a class for figuring out the Internet and also figuring out just working hard. I honestly, a lot of the things in my book are not things I learned in school. You know, there are, of course there's classes, there's biology, there's English, all that. There should be a class that's just about work ethic, how to work well what it means and also how to work differently. Not everyone learns in the way school is structured. That's something that really drove me crazy at the end of my university career was I can't learn through sitting in this lecture for three hours with this professor that's just talking to me like, I'm not really applying this information in any such way. I've learned so much being practical in the world and learning things hands on. And some people are like that. And I think school needs to let them know that's okay. Because a lot of kids leave school thinking I didn't learn how everyone else learned, so I must be dumb. No, you just might need to learn a different way. And there should be an actual class. Find your way of learning. That's what should be called.
Tom Bilyeu
Yeah, no, I actually think that's really powerful and I think a lot of people struggle really profoundly with that. Let's talk about Girl Love, the initiative. What is it about? What made you kick it off? What do you hope comes of it?
Lilly Singh
Well, I'm going to start this conversation by saying back to your point of what do you do when you fail? How do you get over it? Girl Love is a prime example of a huge failure that I turned into something that was not a failure. So Girl Love was started because I was planning to do a collaboration with someone that was a really, really cool actress that's gonna remain unnamed. But I was so excited to do this collab with her. And the idea for our collab was the Girl Love challenge where we would sit together, just like you and I, and we would compliment girls because of whatever happened with the studio and the books and the flights, whatever, it couldn't happen to no fault of her own. And that's why I don't like to name her name because I don't want the Internet to make it something it's not. But it never happened. And I was so bummed about it. I really loved this concept of having a Girl Love challenge, but it never happened. So I was super upset for three, four days. I was like, I don't want to make your videos anymore. Forget it. Until I was like, you know what? Why don't I just still do it but with all of my friends? So we made this Girl up video where we all complimented other women that were very inspiring to us. And it was a huge success. So many news outlets picked it up, other very notable celebrities. Tyra Banks picked it up. Brianka Chopra said something about it. And it just became something online and people were using the hashtag girlup. So in my mind it was just a video that was supposed to happen, but after the success of it, I thought, no, we should make it a movement. So a couple years ago I decided to make it a full fledged social good campaign. And Girl Love is aimed at two things. One, from a local level, it's just about letting girls know that it's cool to support other women. Because I feel culturally that's not encouraged. You know, everyone's talking about Taylor Swift versus Katy Perry and the argument that girls have in movies and how girls have to fight over guys and it's not very much so spotlighted that women can support other women. And that's cool. It's not just right, it's cool. Cool being the key word for young girls. And the second part of Girl Love is helping women around the world. You know, whether it's education, whether it's rights, whether it's health. Because a big belief of Girl love is one woman cannot be successful if women around the world are struggling. I really view humanity like that. Even aside from Girl Love, I don't feel that any, anyone can sit there with a lot of money and fame and think I'm really successful if other humans in the world don't even have water to drink. I think real success is making sure everyone on the planet has those basic needs. So that's what Girl Love's all about. It's about banding women together and really showing strength and sisterhood.
Tom Bilyeu
That's interesting. And so from that, when you think about creating a social movement or having grand impact, how possible do you think that is?
Lilly Singh
Here's the thing. I struggled with this a lot and I think a lot of people are so hesitant to give to causes, whether time or money to causes, because they think, what difference is this really going to make in such a big bad world? My little contribution, what can it do? And I'm going to argue it can do a lot. Because impact is not just affecting millions, it's affecting the one or two people that get impacted with creative solutions. An example I always like to give is in Kenya, one of the places in the Maasai Mar where I do a lot of my work is a really common problem. And that problem is girls don't usually get to go to school because they're too busy fulfilling the demands of the family life. So they have to go and fetch water from a well that's miles away and they have to spend most of the time doing that. So there's no time to go to school. Now at first glance, a lot of people are gonna be like, well, what are you gonna do about that? You can't change the culture. You can't change what needs to happen. They need to drink water. And then a great organization by the name of we came in, and they're like, well, what if we put the water well at the school? And I was like, that's a really creative solution to a problem which you would have otherwise thought, oh, there is no solution to. So I would say every little contribution, every bit of creative thinking, awareness, time, money does make a difference. There are solutions to most problems. I will say we might not know what they are, but they exist. We need to be creative and innovative to come up with those solutions. But I do believe solutions exist.
Tom Bilyeu
I love that. All right, before I ask my last
Lilly Singh
question, I have to leave, but I like it here, sadly.
Tom Bilyeu
Very kind. So where can they find you online?
Lilly Singh
Oh, I mean, where can you not find me online? YouTube. YouTube.com lillysing L I L L Y3L's All Together Singh S A N G H Instagram II Superwoman II. Same on Twitter, same on Facebook. What else exists? That's pretty much it. That I use. Those are the things. Every Monday and Thursday, I make comedy videos on YouTube, and I vlog every single day on my second channel as well.
Tom Bilyeu
Nice.
Lilly Singh
Yeah. So this will be in the vlog.
Tom Bilyeu
Nice.
Lilly Singh
Yeah.
Tom Bilyeu
Cool. And then last but not least, what is the impact you want to have on the world?
Lilly Singh
The impact I want to have on the world? I think I really want to encourage people to believe that. That whatever they want to be, even if it doesn't exist, is possible. And that is because my job is so unconventional, and everything I wanted is so different from what I was raised to believe I could have. And if you're creative, if you mix creativity with hustling hard, any job, position, anything you want to become is possible. Show people what your value is, and then they'll pay you for your value.
Tom Bilyeu
I love that. Lily, thank you so much for being on the show.
Lilly Singh
That was incredible. Thank you.
Tom Bilyeu
All right, guys, I'm telling you right now, you're gonna want to dive into this woman's world. It is absolutely incredible. The content that she puts out is amazing, from the hilarious scripted stuff through to the live stuff that she does, answering people, telling them all kinds of crazy stuff, and often tormenting herself by eating tomatoes and doing all kinds of weird things that she hates to entertain and educate. And I think this is somebody who uniquely understands that you have to entertain before you have the right to educate. And because she does both, her content is insanely powerful. And to see what she's done for the journey of her own life is absolutely breathtaking. From being a UNICEF goodwill ambassador, to going and doing work in Africa, to what she's trying to build by touching women's lives all around the world through her Girl Love initiative. And the fact that she tours, literally tours around the world's absolutely incredible. Really trying to be an example for people that you can set your own path and. And what I love is that her message is actually real and so she's not BSing people. She's really telling people the hard truth, which is that you've got to have something that you love that gives you more energy that you become obsessed with and that you're willing to pour your time and energy into to do something extraordinary. And that is a lesson that I think everybody can take something incredibly powerful away from. So While I know 99.9% of you are already following her, hence the numbers, if you're not already, be sure to you will not regret it. And if you haven't already here, be sure to subscribe. And until next time my friends, be legendary. Take care everybody. Thank you so much for listening. And if this content is delivering value to you, please go to itunes, go to Stitcher Rate and review us. That helps us build this community and that is what we are all about right now. Building this community as big as we can to help as many people as we can deliver as much value as possible possible. And you guys rating and reviewing really helps with that. All right guys, thank you again so much and until next time my friends, be legendary. Take care.
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Podcast: Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu
Episode: Lilly Singh on How to Turn Depression Into Millions (Replay)
Release Date: February 16, 2024
Tom Bilyeu sits down with renowned comedian, entertainer, YouTube megastar, and entrepreneur Lilly Singh. The conversation dives deep into Lilly’s journey from battling depression and societal expectations to building a global brand and multi-million-dollar career. The episode centers around actionable mindsets for turning adversity into empowerment, cultivating self-belief, and the real cost (and reward) of ambitious hustle. Lilly reflects candidly on her "staircase" to success, sharing practical lessons for creators, leaders, and anyone seeking purpose.
Unplanned Beginnings
“I spontaneously one day posted a video. Not because I thought it could be my job... but literally because I was sad.”
—Lilly Singh (03:25)
Importance of Having a Goal
Learning from Pain Efficiently
"Getting hurt efficiently means we're hurt. How can we efficiently learn a lesson in this moment?"
—Lilly Singh (05:22)
Lilly advocates feeling emotions but not getting stuck; failures become lessons, and the practice is to mine those experiences for growth.
Codes Born from Unhappiness
"I learned how to be happy because I know what unhappiness felt like."
—Lilly Singh (06:38)
Body and Mind Cues
"The little pep in your step... is really telling."
—Lilly Singh (10:42)
Exploration Beats Sticking To The Script
"This, what I'm doing right now, is nowhere on the path for a young Indian girl that's a part of my family... I make videos on the Internet."
—Lilly Singh (09:31)
Growth is Uncomfortable
Rest and Rejuvenation
"Something I believe to be equally as productive as work is meditation and taking some time to recover."
—Lilly Singh (12:19)
Visualization for Resilience
Radical Ownership
"If you don't take ownership for something, who's going to fix it? ...Taking ownership means you've taken control to actually make a different impact the next time."
—Lilly Singh (14:05)
Blaming circumstances precludes growth, while ownership unlocks agency.
Self-Worth and Environment
"There was no fairytale scenario where I went up to my parents and said, I want to do this... They literally told me, if you don't get anywhere in a year, you're going to go to grad school."
—Lilly Singh (18:29)
Obsessive Focus as a Superpower
"Anyone who's really great at something is because they're obsessed."
—Lilly Singh (20:00)
The price of greatness includes sacrificing comfort (sometimes sleep), but the "beautiful part of obsession" is having purpose and the excitement that comes from innovating and feeling valuable.
"When you have an obsession, no matter what industry you're in, you get into that mindset where you’re like, what else could I do to innovate this?"
—Lilly Singh (23:54)
"If you're watching this … what are the tips and tricks? There’s no tips and tricks. There's just a lot of work. It's a lot of focused work."
—Lilly Singh (26:02)
"You can be honest. Doesn't mean you have to lie to people. But there's no need to share every detail about your strengths and weaknesses..."
—Lilly Singh (27:47)
Going Deeper Within
"When you dig really, really deep, we lie to ourselves so often. …One of the ways to succeed is just to really address that…"
—Lilly Singh (31:28)
Building Self-Love Through Action and Reflection
"A lot of positive self talk as well…I will talk to myself as well...you gotta talk to yourself the same way [as a friend]."
—Lilly Singh (36:13)
Processing Hate on Social Media
"When someone writes something on the Internet, they're not telling your story, they're telling theirs."
—Lilly Singh (38:25)
"The platform is not to blame…you blame Mario. You are Mario."
—Lilly Singh (41:41)
"When I officially decided, like, no, I am not going to do that...I started doing things with so much more effort and relentlessness."
—Lilly Singh (41:45)
"There should be an actual class. Find your way of learning. That’s what it should be called."
—Lilly Singh (43:31)
From Collaboration Failure to Global Movement
"Girl Love is aimed at two things. One, ...letting girls know that it's cool to support other women. ...The second part is helping women around the world."
—Lilly Singh (44:36)
Creative Problem Solving Drives Change
| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |-----------|-------|---------| | 03:25 | "I spontaneously one day posted a video… because I was sad." | Lilly Singh | | 05:22 | "Getting hurt efficiently means we're hurt. How can we efficiently learn a lesson in this moment?" | Lilly Singh | | 10:42 | "The little pep in your step... is really telling." | Lilly Singh | | 12:19 | "Something I believe to be equally as productive as work is meditation and taking some time to recover." | Lilly Singh | | 14:05 | "If you don't take ownership for something, who's going to fix it?" | Lilly Singh | | 18:29 | "There was no fairytale scenario... They literally told me, if you don't get anywhere in a year, you're going to grad school." | Lilly Singh | | 20:00 | "Anyone who's really great at something is because they're obsessed." | Lilly Singh | | 23:54 | "When you have an obsession... you’re like, what else could I do to innovate this?" | Lilly Singh | | 26:02 | "There's no tips and tricks. There's just a lot of work." | Lilly Singh | | 27:47 | "You can be honest. Doesn't mean you have to lie... but there's no need to share every detail..." | Lilly Singh | | 31:28 | "When you dig really, really deep, we lie to ourselves so often." | Lilly Singh | | 36:13 | "A lot of positive self talk as well…you gotta talk to yourself the same way [as a friend]." | Lilly Singh | | 38:25 | "When someone writes something on the Internet, they're not telling your story, they're telling theirs." | Lilly Singh | | 41:41 | "You blame Mario. You are Mario." | Lilly Singh | | 44:36 | "Girl Love is aimed at two things... letting girls know that it's cool to support other women... helping women around the world." | Lilly Singh |
| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|----------------------------------------------------------| | 03:25 | Lilly’s YouTube origin: depression to channel launch | | 05:18 | “Getting hurt efficiently” concept explained | | 09:31 | Saying yes: defying cultural/familial expectations | | 12:19 | Meditation and rest as productivity tools | | 14:05 | Radical ownership and its role in growth | | 18:29 | On negotiating parental/cultural expectations | | 20:00 | Embracing obsession: price and payoff | | 23:54 | Beauty and excitement in purposeful obsession | | 26:02 | Dispelling the myth of shortcuts | | 31:28 | Levels of self-honesty and self-discovery | | 36:13 | Self-love: actionable routines, positive self-talk | | 38:25 | Handling hate: what social media negativity really means | | 41:41 | Nintendo metaphor for agency and control | | 44:36 | Girl Love initiative and turning failure into movement |
Lilly Singh embodies the "hustle meets heart" model—her story is a roadmap for anyone craving transformation. She emphasizes radical honesty (with oneself and one’s motives), tireless work ethic, the courage to define success on one’s own terms, and the beauty (and challenge) of building something meaningful from a place of struggle. Much more than motivational platitudes, she gives listeners a pragmatic blueprint: own your pain, experiment relentlessly, go all-in, define your path (not your parents’ or society’s), and use setbacks as raw material for impact. In her words:
"Whatever they want to be, even if it doesn't exist, is possible. If you mix creativity with hustling hard, any job, position, anything you want to become is possible."
—Lilly Singh (49:13)
For more, connect with Lilly:
Listen to this Impact Theory episode for an unfiltered, inspiring, and empowering look at how depression, hustle, self-honesty, and laughter can fuel extraordinary impact.