← Tom Bilyeu's Impact Theory
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- [00:00]
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- [01:02]
Molly Bloom
You're listening to Impact Theory. Impact Theory.
- [01:04]
Tom Bilyeu
Impact Theory.
- [01:05]
Molly Bloom
Impact Theory. Impact baby.
- [01:07]
Tom Bilyeu
Hey everybody. Welcome to Impact Theory. Today's guest is a best selling author, much sought after keynote speaker, and a former Olympic level skier who at 21 was ranked third overall in North America. She was however, also arrested at gunpoint by 17 federal agents, faced down a decade's worth of prison time and got beaten up by the mob for refusing to cut them in on an illegal high stakes poker game she was running. And it is no wonder the mob tried to push in. She took a relatively small game run out of a dingy back room of a Los Angeles nightclub and turned it into the most exclusive high stakes poker game in the world. The game would eventually become so successful that more than $100 million could change hand in a single night. And the players around the table were some of the wealthiest, most influential and most famous people on the planet. From a list celebrities who elite bankers, hedge fund managers, and ultimately people tied to the Russian mafia. The extraordinary story of the game itself and her steadfast refusal to save herself from prison time by ratting out anyone involved drew widespread media attention. She's been featured on countless shows including Ellen Vice and npr, and had her life story turned into the award winning film Molly's Game, written and directed by Oscar winner Aaron Sorkin. So please help me in welcoming the woman who just one year after emergency back surgery and being told she would never ski again, ended up not only back on the mountain, but making the US Ski team the unsinkable Molly Bloom. What is up my dear? How you doing? So good.
- [02:45]
Molly Bloom
Thanks for that intro.
- [02:46]
Tom Bilyeu
Oh my God, your story is insane. It's insane. And at the same time, this really cool tale of getting great at something Is that part of what you think has resonated with people that you were able to create this thing that garnered so much attention from scratch and that you had to fight like tooth and nail to build it?
- [03:09]
Molly Bloom
Yeah, I think a big part of it is the underdog story. You know, nothing I have ever wanted to accomplish, I was primed to do right. I was never the mathematician. I didn't know anything about poker. I was coming from a pretty big deficit with mogul skiing. Having my entire top spine fused together and two metal rods, and then really lighting my life on fire and blowing it up, and then having to wage the comeback, I think is something that gives us hope. You know, the underdog story, the redemption story, and then, you know, just the entertainment value of the mob and celebrities and $100 million poker games.
- [03:56]
Tom Bilyeu
It's so crazy. There's a concept that you've talked about that you call constructive suffering. What is that, and what role has that played in your life?
- [04:05]
Molly Bloom
Sure. As a young kid, as an athlete, you know, I didn't wake up one day knowing how to ski 30 miles an hour through a minefield of moguls, launch myself into the air and do inverted and rotational tricks. And everything about that in the beginning felt dangerous, both mentally and physically and wrong. And so you sort of embark on this disciplined course of action in which you feel uncomfortable and it feels bad, but you keep doing it. And I think that I've applied that in academics and business and in sports.
- [04:43]
Tom Bilyeu
Do you think that's something that's teachable? Like, the interesting thing about the relationship between you and your father, at least as it plays out in the movie, is that, you know, he's obviously pushing you very hard. There's the element you've talked very eloquently about, the desire to please, the desire to hear the applause that pushed you.
- [04:59]
Molly Bloom
Yeah.
- [05:01]
Tom Bilyeu
How much do you think is. Is innate in you, that you just wanted that? And how much was it that your dad was coaching you, molding you to be like that? And do you think that's something that you could teach somebody else?
- [05:13]
Molly Bloom
I do. And I think the part that was innate in me is innate in almost everybody. And I think that's a deep desire to have a significant life and to. And to have a big life. What I didn't know it was how to do it. And again, as a kid, or even as an adult, if you don't understand that the process of getting somewhere feels bad a lot of the time and is inglorious a lot of the time and happens in the dark and in the in betweens, then you're just listening to your body or your mind, and it feels wrong. And so I'm very grateful that I had a father who pushed me really hard. We weren't always great friends, you know, and I guess that was his. His sacrifice for us is that being a parent is in a popularity contest all the time. You prepare your children for life and to be formidable.
- [06:04]
Tom Bilyeu
How do you become formidable?
- [06:07]
Molly Bloom
You keep getting back up.
- [06:10]
Tom Bilyeu
Is it about skills, like you're trying to get so good at something? Or is it a mentality? Is it your ability to face fear? Because obviously, in your story, once you really get into your world and understand it, you could go, yeah, she is somebody who's formidable. But if you had to, like, break that down into, like, discrete skills, right? What is it that actually makes you that way?
- [06:32]
Molly Bloom
Well, I certainly didn't start out life formidable, you know, And I don't really think anyone does except for, like, maybe people who are, you know, like, it was a crazy improbability for them to be born. Like, they're already maybe a little formidable. But I think. I think. And I've made so many mistakes, and I've failed at so many things, but I think I just always leverage this thing inside of me that, again, I think everybody has, which is, I'm just not gonna quit. I'm just gonna keep coming back at it. And then when you get through something like that and you have the perspective and the hindsight, you realize that this thing that was the worst thing in the world that broke your heart and crushed you and brought you to your knees, that it was the getting through that that gave you the biggest gifts, you know, and that enabled you. Like, there's not much that rattles me now, you know, there's not much that scares me. And if it does, I know that you just. That you just persevere through that. I mean, you know, in some ways, when my life fell apart, it was the most liberated I've ever been, because for the first time in my life, I didn't feel that I had to impress the world. People had written me off. And so all of a sudden, it's just you, right, with no expectations. And that liberated mindset is something that affected me deeply and that I remember and that I continue to try to replicate. So I think being formidable is just continuing to go at it and being willing to get crushed. You know, the willingness.
- [08:06]
Tom Bilyeu
How did your. And forgive me if I'm making an assumption that isn't true, but I'm assuming it was your dad that really helped you when you were young, learned to process fear, to move towards it, to push past it. What did he actually have you do that got you comfortable with fear?
- [08:22]
Molly Bloom
He didn't allow it. Okay, so some kids aren't allowed to, like, not clean their room, right? Or, like, they get grounded. My dad, it was like, if we were on top of a hill and, like, he decided that everyone was going to jump off this cliff, you know, skiing, if I didn't do it, like, I was in big trouble, you know? And so what happened there was massively uncomfortable in the moment, right? But what happens there is you're standing at the top of this mountain, you're looking at this cliff or this mogul or whatever, you know, and saying, I can't. There's no way. Like, I'm terrified of this. And if you would have just quit, you don't have that empowered feeling of doing it because you're terrified, but doing it anyway, getting to the other side of it and going, wow, Like, I feel so proud of myself. And also, just because there's all this fear doesn't mean I can't do it anyway. And I guess that was the biggest takeaway. And listen, you could definitely argue that I took that concept too far. Right? Like, there was a time in my life where I should have been paying attention to fear and wasn't, but it's the balance. But I do think that fear is the greatest thief of dreams and of a fulfilling life.
- [09:40]
Tom Bilyeu
If you had kids, how would you push them? Would that be something for you where you didn't allow fear either?
- [09:48]
Molly Bloom
So it's interesting that you ask, because we are embarking on that journey now. And. And so I'm thinking about it a lot. Um, and. And I think for me, I. I'm better for how my father raised me. Right? But I wish he would have been more of my friend while doing it. And, you know, he did the best he could. He was a young dad. The way that he behaved was in our best interest, he believed. But I think, especially in this day and age, like, yes, I think my kids will be required to finish what they start, to take everything seriously that they do. That was another thing my dad did with us. It's like we had to put our name on everything we did. So if it was a chore, if it was a family bike ride, there was this pursuit of excellence that needed to be honored, and that's a huge asset in life. That's where you're. You can you find yourself continually going above and beyond where most people aren't, you know. But I think I will take into account all these lessons and. But I think I'll be like, less psychotic about it. Like, I'll be their friend while I'm doing it. Like, kiddo, you're gonna have to jump off this cliff. I'm sorry, that's just the way it is. Instead of like you're gonna be granted for the rest of your life, you
- [10:59]
Tom Bilyeu
know, you brought up your name. Having to put your name on everything that you did. This is probably the part of your story that I find most interesting and that I hope in a similar situation I would have the guts to live up to. Why were you so protective of your name? Like, when you were facing a decade in jail? It's pretty crazy. You could have gotten out of that really easily. And I don't even know that most people would have blamed you. Why? What was it about the whole notion of your name and who you are and your reputation that was so important to you?
- [11:34]
Molly Bloom
So there's a couple things here. When I started running these games, I was definitely looking to prove something and looking to fulfill something that was deep inside of me that felt unfulfilled. And probably what that was was growing up in this family of massive high achievers. You know, a brother that's a Harvard educated cardiothoracic surgeon, another brother that's a two time Olympian and played in the NFL and what's an Abercrombie model, and started a charity for like granting wishes for old people. Like, you know what I mean? This was my family, right? And like I. My skill set wasn't so clearly defined. And so I went out into the world deciding that the way to get the lambs to stop screaming, if you will, was to be somebody, to make a lot of money, to be powerful, to have agency. And so I was just gunning, right? And so I went out and I did that. And then it was never enough. And I became someone I didn't like. You know, what started out as running this game and seeing it as a really cool way to build a network and to make money and to kind of be impressive in front of people who move the needle became so much about greed and so much about like the morality took a backseat. And I would, I would be putting people in this game who couldn't afford it just for my own gain. And so the lesson I learned when it all fell apart was that there's no amount of money and there's no amount of Freedom. And there's no situation where I can enjoy it if I don't like who I am and like the choices that I'm making and don't feel like I'm acting with dignity and don't feel like I'm acting with courage and don't feel like I'm acting with integrity. Like, I, I really ended up in that scenario, addicted to drugs, alone and very miserable. And so when the prosecutors put this deal on the table, we'll give you all your money back and we'll give you immunity. I knew that the only shot for me to have a second chance was to continue to act with integrity. And to me, I had made all these choices. Nobody, it wasn't these guys puppet mastering me to run this game. I had done this whole thing and I knew how to do it legally, chose to do it illegally because I was greedy and wanted more. And I had to take responsibility for these choices. And so this was, you know, everyone's always like, well, why were you so protective of the guys? I wasn't. I was protective of this thing that I had reclaimed this dignity, this, this integrity that I had gotten back after really losing it, and I couldn't give that up again.
- [14:21]
Tom Bilyeu
Yeah, that's pretty extraordinary. What part of your journey are you most. I'm going to use the word impressed by. I'm not going to say proud of, so I'm specifically avoiding that word. But what are you most impressed by? Was it standing up to Player X when he took the game away? Was it your skiing and what you accomplished there after being told you would never ski again? Was it facing down the jail time? Like, what. What in that was your most sort of formidable moment?
- [14:55]
Molly Bloom
I think it was being completely leveled. Like, you know, being 35 years old, millions of dollars in debt, a convicted felon, reputation destroyed, not hireable, not. You know, no one wanted to make this story because in terms of. In Hollywood, because they were so afraid of all the famous people that, you know, we're gonna object to it and just moving that, you know, like moving it inside and coming up intellectually with a plan. And even though it was improbable and statistically, you know, close to impossible, just being like, I'm gonna do this and I'm. I'm just never gonna quit until I figure my life out. I'm not gonna stay down. You know, that was probably the endeavor that I'm most proud of, impressed by.
- [15:48]
Tom Bilyeu
So how do you do that? So the, the whole notion of, or the story, I should say, of how you end up getting Aaron Sorkin to write and direct. This is really extraordinary. Walk us through that from the book. Doesn't quite sell as well as you want. And like, your life at that point being in massive turmoil. How do you end up getting him to do this?
- [16:13]
Molly Bloom
Yeah, I mean, I think being an entrepreneur is a spirit that you apply to everything. And so when I realized just, you know, how sort of decimated my life was, I was like, okay, well, you are now the startup. And so I looked at it from that perspective. And so I did a ton of research about the publishing industry and about Hollywood because to me, the only thing I had left or the, the greatest thing that I thought I had left in terms of a monetizable asset was the story. And I also felt if told in the right way, the story could create a platform and then I could. Someone would hire me, you know, I could get a job again, or at all. And so, you know, it was a very sort of strategic execution of I'm going to write the book so that I can own my ip. And then I looked at Hollywood and I'm like, this is tough, this tough industry, right, in terms of, like getting things done, like, you can have this amazing package and it still fails. There's so many places of where things fall apart. But then I started realizing that if you have content, which I believed that I did, and you have a writer, that's a good bet, right? Like, if you look at Aaron Sorkin's track record, he's a great bet, right? Like, everything he does is successful, has awards, nominations, gets made, makes noise. And so, you know, there was a category of those type of people for me that, that I was really shooting for, and Aaron was at the top. And so I started kind of pursuing that, like trying to get a meeting or whatever. And most people laughed me out of their office or said things like, let me just give you a little piece of advice, sweetheart. Do you know how many people don't want this movie made? Like, this movie will just get crushed. No one's going to make this movie. And I was just like, thanks for the advice. You know, can you get me meeting with Aaron Sorgen or not? You know, and. And so finally, you know, I an attorney, and he introduced or he said, I can ask him for a personal favor. But he was like, but if he doesn't like it, that's it, right? It's got to resonate with him. So I get a meeting with Aaron and I fly to la and then I walk in and you know, I pitch Aaron, I give it all I got. I tell him my story. And I mean, I talk about this a lot, but because he's just so great with words, he sits back in his chair and he gives me this amused expression and he's like, well, I'll tell you one thing, I've never met someone so down in their luck and so full of themselves. And I'm like, so are you in? You know, and he was. And so, you know, this, this thing that generally doesn't happen like that was, was a very orchestrated strategic plan on my part. But there's also, you know, luck. Luck plays a part there. If Aaron wouldn't have liked the story, you know, then I would have just moved on to someone else. But I just, I was really sure I wanted it to be him.
- [19:10]
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- [19:40]
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- [20:10]
Tom Bilyeu
Yes, that. So I always want the everything I do to be an instruction manual for success, especially for people who don't think they can be successful. And there were so many moments in your story where it's like giving up is the obvious option and maybe the most logical option, but you don't. And so you said that that was highly strategic. I want to about how you process through that strategy. So there's nothing in your background that I came across that would make me go, oh, you're an, you're sort of an obvious choice to be an entrepreneur, and yet you act with a lot of entrepreneurial tendencies that are very impressive. So, you know, you have a rebrand exercise every, the bottom has fallen out, you're a felon. Now, sort of logically, it's all over, but you sit down and you say, what's my monetizable? Asset. How do you even begin to think, to ask the question, what's my monetizable asset? Like, how are you beginning to put that worldview together that tells you this is doable?
- [21:09]
Molly Bloom
Okay, well, I have like kind of a two part answer for that. First of all, I think it had a lot to do with being in survival mode.
- [21:16]
Tom Bilyeu
Define survival mode. I've heard you talk about this.
- [21:19]
Molly Bloom
Okay? So having to move back in with your mom at, you know, in your 30s, having not only no money, but no bank account, you know, the Fed seized all my assets, my bank accounts were closed. I couldn't even open a bank account. Not that I would have a dollar to put in it. Right? Being crushed under this, this debt to the IRS and the doj, and having the tabloids tell your story in the most reductive way, Basically saying that you're like some girl in a tight skirt that serves drinks at a poker game, when in actuality I was the owner, operator and the bank, you know, and the finance arm and addicted to drugs and alcohol. I mean, that's a big one. And just basically being super finished, you know. So survival mode, I think is comprised of this state where you have nothing to lose and you can't live like that. Right? That's not a life. And so two things happened in survival mode. One, I got pretty fearless. And two, I had this, for the first time in my life, this strange brand of pure confidence because no one expected anything from me. And so I think a lot had to do with that. Now when I got out of crisis, my normal mind came back in and I desperately wanted to return to crisis mode. Mind without the crisis.
- [22:47]
Tom Bilyeu
Interesting.
- [22:48]
Molly Bloom
And so what I like, pursued that with everything I had. I started reading a ton of books. I spoke to people that I respect in all different fields. Spiritual people, neuroscientists, psychologists, elders I respect in a 12 step program. And I just, through trial and error, cycled through these different sort of ways to return me to this liberated, fearless, confident mindset. Because it was so powerful and it was so effective. And so the answer to that is I think you've got to figure out a way to get your own self out of the way. Because the only thing that's ever stood in between myself or anyone else and their ultimate dream is themselves, right? There's going to be obstacles, of course, but you can navigate them, unless you think you can't. So the two things that, you know, there's, there's just like a, a couple things that I've found if I practice on a daily basis that I can stay sort of in that, in that flow mind, right? And it's interesting. One of them is meditation. And you know, a lot of people and like, you know, meditation is stigmatized as this is as a very spiritual practice or a practice to, you know, like calm you down or whatever. And I think those are great applications for it. But in my experience, meditation is an absolutely critical performance because it allows you to train your mind. And the second thing is something that I Learned in a 12 step program if I practice all the time gets me there. And it's, you know, you make a list of your, the weak parts of your character, like where, you know, like for instance, self pity, selfishness, fear, you know, and then you, you decide that you're going to, you're going to take them into the world and work on them. So like my process is, is okay this week I'm looking at, I'm looking at fear, right? And I am alert to every time that I think in a fearful way, where I act in a fearful way and I take an action right there, a contrary action and create, you know, like put in a courageous thought or make a courageous action. At the end of the day, I review my day and when I start to show up more courageously than fearfully, I'm move on to the next thing which is, you know, selfishness and, or self pity and you know, the contrary action. There is gratitude or whatever. And over time a couple things start to happen. One, I am for the first time truly unshakably confident. Like I like myself. I know that I'm doing this work. I know that I'm showing up in a principled way. And the second thing that happens is like my EQ goes through the roof. And then, you know, the third thing that happened was I'm not such a, you know, I'm not a nightmare anymore in relationships. I get engaged.
- [25:43]
Tom Bilyeu
Congratulations.
- [25:47]
Molly Bloom
Just personal relationships start to thrive. And so, you know, I think when people in the past have told me like, well, this is a simple process, right? This, this process of like being successful or accomplishing your goals is a really simple process. You just have to decide to and like put the right, you know, intention there. I think that's, you know, I think it takes work and I think it takes a daily program of action in which you're working on yourself and, and training yourself for the opportunities that arise.
- [26:20]
Tom Bilyeu
How do you do that? So one thing that you've seemed very efficient at is learning so going to poker. Don't know Poker, start learning it. Publishing, learn that. Hollywood, learn that. Like you've done a really good job of being a novice stepping into something and figuring it out. Do you a particular process that you go through when you're approaching something new.
- [26:43]
Molly Bloom
I saw this documentary, I can't remember the title and I'd like to so I could adequately quote it, but they, it's about studying really successful people and one of the attributes that they quote that's, that's permeates through most successful people is this rage to master.
- [27:00]
Tom Bilyeu
Rage to master.
- [27:01]
Molly Bloom
Yeah.
- [27:02]
Tom Bilyeu
And you had me at rage.
- [27:03]
Molly Bloom
I know.
- [27:03]
Tom Bilyeu
Tell me more.
- [27:04]
Molly Bloom
I know, I loved it. Right. It just gets you. So everything that I've ever done, anything I've ever done well, became somewhat of an obsession. And that requires an honesty about what you're pursuing. You know, you can't just like in my, in my experience, I can't just decide that I want to do something that I don't care about. I have to care, you know, and so like the first component is making sure that, that I have that rage to master, that it's going to be something I want to spend a lot of time with, you know, and once you've settled intellectually on your strategy, then I think the next part is making sure that you, that you are putting yourself in the best position to execute. And that has to do with taking care of yourself, you know, getting enough sleep, eating the right things. And then, you know, when I'm talking about like training your mind and strengthening your character and just making sure that you're putting yourself in the best place for execution. Because execution is it, you know, it's really. And execution, so much of it is just endurance. And in endurance, like to be able to out endure your own mind too. You know, if people just kept going a little bit longer, they could probably get there.
- [28:31]
Tom Bilyeu
How do you make sure that, that endurance is fruitful though? So I imagine you, you're taking the meetings, right? You go in, people are telling you this is never going to work. Nobody in Hollywood wants to see this. I'm guessing it. While there is an element of beating your head against the wall and just not giving up, there's also an adjustment of strategy.
- [28:49]
Molly Bloom
Yes.
- [28:49]
Tom Bilyeu
How do you like suss that moment out where you're like, what I'm doing isn't get. Getting me the result that I want. I need to be brutally honest about, you know, the, the results that I'm getting and then be able to see that and adjust.
- [29:04]
Molly Bloom
I think that's a great question. And I Think being a great entrepreneur or someone who survives the world at all takes a fair amount of. Of flexibility and being nimble. What if there's one thing I've learned in this, in life, is that we are not just like passive riders on the things, that we don't just have to accept these things about ourselves that don't work, we get to change them. And I probably wouldn't have realized that to the extent that I did, had my life not falling apart in such a catastrophic way, and I was forced to kind of come out of the ashes. But I know for sure you can change yourself, you can change your life and you can become more successful at what you want to become more successful at, whatever that is.
- [29:54]
Tom Bilyeu
Do you ever see people struggle with that? Like they legitimately just cannot see.
- [29:57]
Molly Bloom
Yeah.
- [29:58]
Tom Bilyeu
What they're doing?
- [29:58]
Molly Bloom
Yeah.
- [29:59]
Tom Bilyeu
So I really want self awareness to be something that people can develop.
- [30:03]
Molly Bloom
Yeah.
- [30:03]
Tom Bilyeu
How do people become more aware of how they're tripping themselves up?
- [30:08]
Molly Bloom
Well, that's a. That's a question that I'm thinking about a lot because I want to. I'm writing a book about sort of how to change your life and developing an app as well. And so I think that there are some pretty specific questions. If I sat down and thought about it. I think there's some specific questions, but I also think a really good resource is to ask people that you trust they're going to tell you the truth. And it's a hard question. It's a hard question, but it's important to not surround yourself by sycophants. It's important to surround yourself with people that keep you accountable, whether it's at work or, you know, if you sat down with your boss or your co workers or your friends or your family and said, look, I want you to be really honest with me. You know, if you had to tell me, like, where the weakest part of my personality or like, what. What I should change, like, what is it, you know, being amenable to listening to that and having the courage to hear that is the inflection point. You know, that's. That's the turning point.
- [31:12]
Tom Bilyeu
Meaning that's the point at which you can begin to actually improve your life and get out of whatever hole you're in. Yeah, yeah, I would agree with that. Pret. Aggressively. You said for years and years and years, your dad specifically was trying to, like, get you to realize the life that you were living was going to end in the crash that it ended in.
- [31:28]
Molly Bloom
Yes.
- [31:28]
Tom Bilyeu
How did you reject that when he was saying It. And then how did you guys heal the relationship after it all happened?
- [31:37]
Molly Bloom
Yeah, I was mad at my dad.
- [31:40]
Tom Bilyeu
Because he was so hard on you?
- [31:41]
Molly Bloom
Because he was so hard on me. And it seemed like he was much nicer to my brothers and liked them better. And he was. He was such an authoritarian, you know, and. And that just killed me. But when everything fell apart and then. And then when I got arrested by the feds and, you know, federally indicted and I had to go to New York to get an attorney, I called him and he said, get a public defender. He was pissed at me. You know, he was like, I've been trying to tell you about this for years, and now you're in this place where an attorney wants $250,000 for a retainer, and. And the feds have seized all your assets, and now you want money from me. And so I got mad at him for being mad at me for getting federally indicted. And then right before I got sentenced, he called me and he said, I'm coming to California to talk to you because you're my only daughter. You're about to be sentenced in federal court, and we cannot not be speaking. And so for people that saw the movie, the scene that happened in Central park happened. It just happened in Los Angeles. And it was a bit different in terms of his answer to the question. When I finally got vulnerable and I finally just asked the question that was really the root of this sadness and anger and resentment, I was like, why didn't you like me as much as my brothers? And his answer was, look, I have been a psychotherapist for 40 years. I know how difficult the world is, and I think it's even harder for women. And so I wanted to make you formidable. And so all those years of thinking, you know, God, he was so unfair to me, and he liked them so much better. And, you know, it was kind of diffused in a moment, and there was an honesty and a contrition on both of our parts. And just, you know, we're sitting there like the stakes couldn't be higher. I. I might lose my freedom, right? And from that moment on, our relationship changed. And, like, my dad is my best friend now. Like, before I go on for keynotes, he's, like, calling me, like, trying to coach me and shit, you know, And I'm like, okay, dad. But, I mean, I have the dad that I always wanted. I have the relationship with my dad that I always wanted. You know, he calls me the champ now. And, I mean, listen, like, no matter how high achieving Your siblings are. If you get Kevin Costner to play your dad in a movie, you're gonna be the favorite kid. It's just rap after that.
- [34:12]
Tom Bilyeu
That's amazing.
- [34:13]
Molly Bloom
Yeah.
- [34:14]
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- [34:44]
Tom Bilyeu
It's a pretty fascinating part of your story and that real life answer about being harder for women. And you've talked a lot about the power of femininity. I'd love to hear your thoughts on that. You've said that you don't think that if women want to be really successful, they shouldn't try to ape men. They should try to lean into their femininity. So what does that look like? And why is it advantageous?
- [35:12]
Molly Bloom
Okay, so I can just tell you from my experience. So if I would have gone into the industry that I went into, which is gambling, right? And if I was a man, I'm screwed. Like, they're like, everyone's male. They all have their sort of, like, way of thinking about it, and there's so much competition. But because I was a woman and I had a fresh perspective and I. I brought a different sort of innate mindset and a different vibe to it, I was able to see a different way to do things. I was able to see that this wasn't just about a poker game, right? This was about building a community. This was about mythology. This was about fantasy. This was about giving someone something to be part of that was like, you know, took them out of their regular life.
- [36:01]
Tom Bilyeu
You realize all of that.
- [36:02]
Molly Bloom
We had a psychologist for a father we processed and overcome.
- [36:06]
Tom Bilyeu
So you're literally just looking at these guys asking a simple question, why are they doing this?
- [36:10]
Molly Bloom
They doing this? Why do they want to be here? You know, I was obsessed with reading when I was little, and I was obsessed with anything that fantasy related and anything that would get me out of right here, right now. And what I realized, I believe largely in the, in the, in the power of experiences, you know, and that's why when I sort of entered into this thing as a cocktail waitress and ultimately wanted to build my own game, but was competing against, like, the billionaire Boys club for it I was like, if I can create this incredible experience, right, where it's, it's unforgettable, it's so memorable. If, you know, I can create this game where you're sitting next to your absolute hero in life. If I can create this game where the economics make enough sense, where you're scarce, right, where you're like, it's, it's, you know, it's battle royale, right? And if I can have beautiful people who have memorized everything you drink, everything you eat and are making you feel so special. And you know, if, and if I can seat strategically a table of nine people in which each one is more interesting than next. Like, I believe that even though I know nothing about running a game, even though I'm don't know anything about finance, I don't know anything about poker, right, they're going to want to come back. You know, I'm a big believer in experiences, particularly with everyone. It doesn't matter, you know, because it's, it takes you out of your daily life and gives you a place of refuge.
- [37:55]
Tom Bilyeu
You talked about creating a beautiful game and there was something about that that really struck me, especially through the lens of like really looking at the world from a feminine perspective and building according.
- [38:08]
Grainger Commercial Narrator
And.
- [38:09]
Tom Bilyeu
But there was so much entrepreneurial wisdom in the way that you went about it, from researching the way that casinos pump in a certain smell that shows that it increases people likelihood to make a big bet. And so you had custom made candles. I mean, it was, there was like so much thought that went into it that to me are the signs of what it takes for real greatness to have such a deep understanding of the game. How, what do you think about that? What are the principles of excellence? And you know, by way of example, what were things that you did in the game that you feel you've never really gotten enough credit for recognizing the importance of.
- [38:46]
Molly Bloom
So it's in the details, you know, and you know, inside when you're taking a shortcut, right, when you haven't shown up 100%. And like my philosophy is if you want to build something great, right, no shortcuts, everything, every detail you put your name on.
- [39:09]
Tom Bilyeu
So what were things that you did for the game that were the no shortcuts example?
- [39:14]
Molly Bloom
Well, I continued to seek out extraordinary people to place around. I never stopped recruiting. Even when I had tables full of games. I knew to keep it new and interesting. I, you know, I really cultivated relationships with people. I took the time to learn about their lives. One thing I know about people is that One of the best things you can do for them is solve a problem that they didn't ask you to solve.
- [39:46]
Tom Bilyeu
Yeah, I can imagine. What's the most powerful, useful thing you've learned from addiction recovery?
- [39:53]
Molly Bloom
The first thing I have learned is to be okay with uncomfortable feelings, emotions, to just ride it out and weather that storm. Because before I got sober, like, you know, I could withstand a lot, but then what, what I couldn't withstand, I would just numb out, you know, and then I couldn't do that anymore. And, and, and then you have to ride it out and then you realize that, like, because you think it's going to last forever, you know, that uncomfortable feeling, and then you just kind of, you stay with it and you accept it, and then when the next time it happens, it's not really that big of a deal. So definitely to just sort of like ride out discomfort. But the main thing I learned from a 12 step program is it's a program of action. To live life peacefully and with a sense of fulfillment that doesn't require watching someone lose $100 million at your poker game or doesn't require going on this crazy trip or, you know, making $5 million that night. Like, it's, it's, it's this ability to just be comfortable in your own skin and to be, and to find joy in the parts of life that aren't exploding in your face, you know, and, and the other way was not sustainable.
- [41:12]
Tom Bilyeu
And how do I reconcile in your personality the being formidable, being somebody who's driven, and you've said multiple times, I'm always going to be ambitious with the, you know, meditating every day, finding equanimity. Now, regardless of, you know, the ups and downs sort of being even keel, is it a balancing act for you? Is it that there is no discrepancy between the two and they coexist perfectly? Like, how does one come to understand what appear to be two sides of a coin?
- [41:46]
Molly Bloom
Yeah, I mean, I think that first of all, I think meditation will make you dangerous. Like, I think that that is aligned with ambition. Because if you walk into a room and you don't have this like, annoying inner dialogue and you don't have fear and you are confident you're gonna. But you're also like, quiet. They don't see you coming and you're gonna eat everyone up in that room. I think meditation makes you dangerous. You know, I think that there's applications of it that can make you peaceful and live a monastic life and eat rice out of a bowl and all that stuff. But that's not ever gonna. But. But living a principled life, meditating, getting a good night, like, all this stuff, this is what allows me to enjoy being ambitious. I never really enjoyed my life before. It was always like, oh, you know, my happiness was tied to the next win. Or like, even when I did win, like, almost immediately, that voice would come in, like, it's not enough. You got to do more. You got to do more. This relentless. This pursuit of excellence, that really was a huge reason why I use drugs and alcohol too, you know, was to, like, shut it up. Like, I need some peace. And so this sort of practice of. Of making sure I'm living a principled life and learning how to manage my mind and not tap into the. The I don't want to tap into is the way that I enjoy being ambitious.
- [43:12]
Tom Bilyeu
So you're working on the book now about how to help people change their lives. What is a key thing that you don't think people have fully understood or that's out there already that you think is going to be really useful for people?
- [43:25]
Molly Bloom
So all this stuff is out there, right? It just is shrouded in a bit of different language and vernacular. And I think training your mind is so important. Meditation is. Is the way that I do it, right? And. And it's. And it's really worked for me, and it worked in a short amount of time. Do it however you want. Sit in whatever position you want, but, like, train your mind so that it does what you want it to do, and you can choose what you want to focus on, and you can put, you know, not. And choose not to focus on what you don't. In. In my. In my experience, like, if I had one thing to say, like, it would be that the second thing would be, you know, work on your character, because everybody has things to work on, and that's generally what's standing in the way of. Of your success.
- [44:17]
Tom Bilyeu
Do you have rules for character? Like, what that means life rules that you live by?
- [44:24]
Molly Bloom
Well, yeah, but I think it's mostly just choosing to live in a way that's opposite of a weak character. So, like, I think it's a great exercise for everybody to decide, like, well, I'm gonna look at selfishness, right? Like, where do I. Like, where am I thinking selfishly, and where am I showing up selfishly? And where can I, like, maybe even up that score a little bit? Like, it's just. It's. It's. It's way more simple than I think people think. Like, you don't want to return your car to the grocery store, well, then return yours in someone else's. Because then you start to change yourself.
- [44:56]
Tom Bilyeu
That's interesting.
- [44:56]
Molly Bloom
You know, you start to take daily actions that change yourself and really you're going to show up better in the world and you're going to like yourself better. And I think that that's a really highly overlooked, again, performance tool. Like I saw, you know, I watched, I was around some of the world's most successful, wealthy, powerful people. I can count on this hand and half of this hand, how many people were enjoying their life. Wow.
- [45:22]
Tom Bilyeu
I think there's something so powerful about the way you have found the interface of idea and reality.
- [45:29]
Molly Bloom
Thank you. Yeah, I'm writing a book and I'm actually at the same time launching an app that can take this program and help you put it into action without. Because I think there's two really big downfalls in the self help industry. One is that you have to self motivate all the time without reward or incentive or recognition. And so I think you can gamify it a bit in an app.
- [45:53]
Tom Bilyeu
App.
- [45:54]
Molly Bloom
And then the other one is I think self help is kind of. Because I think it takes a community.
- [45:59]
Tom Bilyeu
Go on.
- [46:02]
Molly Bloom
And so what I want to do is create this program of action in this app program that's created from things that I've learned that if you practice this, like, like you're training for a sport, whatever, like you can, you know, you can, you can get on board, but then it connects you to a community of people who are doing the same thing. Because a huge part of why, again, like, you know, I, I'm an entrepreneur, so if anywhere I go, I'm going to look at it through that lens. So I'm an aa, right? And I'm like, what about this works? Right? What about this works? Because I see these people come in and they're done. Okay? There's no, they're, they are done. And then I see them, the light go back on and, you know, they have families and they have jobs and whatever. And I'm like, what's working here? You know, because I don't see it working anywhere else in the world. And it's working in such extreme cases. So a huge part of it is community around shared experience, right? So if you decide you want to change your life and that can look like anything. And really what it is is it's tapping into a power to live. Because how many times did I say I need to get out of this world, out of this poker world? Or I need to not do drugs anymore or I need to not call that guy because he's an asshole or not eat that like piece of candy because it has too many carbs or whatever and then still do it. So right there, there's a lack of power. There's what we want and what we desperately want. Right. Like with every atom in our body or like procrastination lives in that place too. How do we tap into the power to make these choices that are aligned with what we really want? This coming up with a program of daily action that actually like changes your brain, changes your thoughts and gives you power of choice and then connecting you to a group of people who want to help you, who are doing the same thing or are tasked by this higher calling. And so that's kind of what I am developing right now and co launching with my book.
- [48:02]
Tom Bilyeu
Nice, I like the sound of that. I'll be very interested to see what you do. So we just launched Impact Theory University and a big thing that we're looking, looking at is that exact same thing. Like the dropout rate of online courses is ungodly. Like people, they just don't see it through. And so how do you help them see it through? Getting around people who think like you think, social accountability. I've always found it super interesting that they say that the, the only thing that is going to just dramatically increase your odds in a 12 step program to being successful is that you help somebody else. Which is the twelfth step. Right?
- [48:38]
Molly Bloom
Yeah.
- [48:38]
Tom Bilyeu
So that to me is, is really interesting that that sense of there's some human dynamic at play where if I can do something for you, then it reinforces it in me. And they say the best way to learn something is to teach it. And so there's really something extraordinary in that dynamic. So totally I'll be waiting with bated breath to see if you pull it off. It's very exciting.
- [48:58]
Molly Bloom
I'm gonna pull it off.
- [49:00]
Tom Bilyeu
That's right. I'm not betting against you. Trust me on that one. All right, so what is the best way to find you and learn more about you?
- [49:10]
Molly Bloom
So I'm not super active, but whenever, when I have something to say or something to share and as this thing gets closer, I will be sharing on social media and Instagram is imollibloom and so is Twitter. So I am like the letter I, the letter M and then Molly Bloom. And then as this thing gets closer we'll have a website and more information.
- [49:33]
Tom Bilyeu
What's the impact that you want to have on the world.
- [49:36]
Molly Bloom
I want to give them an actual program of action and connect them to a community of people, to help people change their life and tap into power. The power to do what you want to do in the world and not give in to this powerless state of mind where sometimes you can and sometimes you can't. I love it.
- [49:56]
Tom Bilyeu
Molly, thank you so much for coming on the show. That was wonderful. Shut up guys. If you haven't seen the movie Molly's Game, first of all, watch it. I think it is extraordinarily well done. Is amazing story. The book equally amazing. Check it out. Go stress her to be more engaged on social media. I was mortified by how little she posts, but what she posts is awesome. So get out there. Heckle her until she brings more nuggets of wisdom.