Q&A on Working with a Team and How Tom Created His Morning Routine (Replay)

Summary

Impact Theory Podcast with Tom Bilyeu

Episode: Q&A on Working with a Team and How Tom Created His Morning Routine (Replay)
Date: November 9, 2023
Host: Tom Bilyeu (with Cindy)

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Episode Overview

In this energetic live Q&A episode, Tom Bilyeu—entrepreneur, co-founder of Quest Nutrition, and host of Impact Theory—answers audience questions about teamwork, routines, creativity, productivity, community building, and more. Tom shares candid insights from his journey, from his morning routine to personal growth, building relationships, and the truth behind viral content. Cindy, the show’s community manager, joins as co-host, bringing her own perspective and moderating the community’s questions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Choosing a Mentor and Nighttime Routines

• Mentor Choice: Tom shares he would shadow Elon Musk for a day due to his inspiration, despite doubting Musk’s ability as a mentor.

  “The person I think I would probably shadow for a day if I could is Elon Musk, but I don’t know if he’d be a good mentor.” (Tom, 01:47)

• Turning Off the Brain at Night:

  • Tom falls asleep easily due to working intensely throughout the day:

    “By the time I lay down, I’m out in seconds.” (Tom, 02:24)

  • If he wakes up, he uses meditative breathing or a visualization of descending to the bottom of the Marianas Trench:

    “I tell myself I can breathe underwater and imagine descending to the bottom... I don’t know why I find that so comforting, but I do.” (Tom, 03:31)

  • Cindy, conversely, has always struggled with sleep and uses visualization or melatonin.

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2. Community Building: Impact Theory’s Three Phases

• Why Focus on Phase One?: Building a robust, engaged community remains the core focus.
• Phase Two Plans: Move from community-building toward launching companies and narrative ideas collaboratively with the community, including vetting innovative startups like Neurovalenz (vestibular nerve stimulation devices).

  “Phase two is bringing the community together, looking for ideas that we can turn into businesses and traditional narrative... The difference between the lab and the real world often is a huge chasm. I am reputation-protective above all else.” (Tom, 05:30–07:59)

• Technology and Gamification: Launching an app to gamify and incentivize contributions—introducing leaderboards and rewards.

  “We need that layer of technology where we can incentivize people... to go beta test a company or an app.” (Tom, 08:01–10:04)

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3. Relationship-Building & The Long Game

• Philanthropy & Cutting Through Media Noise: True impact and opportunity arise from cultivating genuine, long-term relationships without immediate expectations.

  “You should just have a strategy in life that cool people are cool to have in your world... Maybe three, four, five, ten years down the road, like, they become the perfect person.” (Tom, 10:18–11:35)

• Networking & Value Delivery: Worth is measured by value given, not taken.

  “Always try to deliver more value to other people than they deliver to you. Then you get to reap the rewards when that moment sparks itself.” (Tom, 12:19)

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4. Nutrition, Protein Cycling & Ketogenesis

• Protein Cycling: Tom shares his approach—4 days high protein (for muscle mass), 3 days truly ketogenic (high fat, very low protein, nearly no carbohydrate).

  “Four days a week I do high protein... then three days a week of a truly ketogenic diet... If I adjust that too much, my joints start to hurt.” (Tom, 13:03–16:20)

• Ketogenic Benefits: Improved joint health, energy, and a different relationship to hunger—but maintaining muscle on pure keto was difficult.

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5. Viral Content & Social Media Strategy

• Reflections on Mel Robbins’ Viral Episode:
  • Virality often combines real, actionable advice with “just enough controversy to create friction.”

    “Advice that is just controversial enough to create enough friction that people want to share it—either out of love or hate.” (Tom, 17:15–19:07)

  • “Hate-following” and polarizing content can drive views.
  • Learnings influence how they choose clips but not the structure of full episodes.

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6. Mind-Body Connection and Escaping “The Matrix”

• Can You Achieve Mental Freedom Without Physical Health?

  • Tom uses Stephen Hawking as an example: optimizing mind and body both have roles, but most people benefit from physical discipline.

    “You’ll never fully optimize the mind unless you can optimize the body.” (Tom, 21:17)

• Working Out & Mental Chatter:

  • While working out doesn’t silence internal chatter, it builds self-credibility through discipline and action, which Tom believes is key to dissolving stress and insecurity.

    “If you have stress, there is one bulletproof solution: action.” (Tom, 39:37–41:32)

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7. Creative Integration: Work, Play & Personal Life

• No Separation Between Work and Life:

  • Tom integrates business, creativity, and personal life, primarily because he’s deeply passionate and co-founded the business with his wife.

    “I don’t [separate work and life]... I look for integration.” (Tom, 33:45–35:39)

  • Richard Branson: “When you can no longer distinguish between work and play, you’ve got something good going on.”
  • Money is seen as a byproduct, not the principal motivator.

• On Play & Research:

  • Play is central to Tom’s life; learning is his version of play, believing this is the highest form of research.

    “Play is something... fun in and of itself. You lose track of time... If that’s play, then yes, I love it. I’m trying to optimize my life for that.” (Tom, 48:25)

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8. Morning Routine – Slow and Intentional Building

• Developing the Routine:

  • Tom started with working out (to improve strength, appearance, and confidence) and gradually added meditation (mental clarity), then reading.

    “It was very slow. The way you described it is exactly how it happened for me... working out was about wanting to get strong.” (Tom, 54:05–57:03)

• Confidence and Social Skills:

  • Improved appearance and self-confidence impacted social life; confidence, not arrogance or neediness, is key.

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9. Grit, Commitment, and Practice

• Pushing Through Boredom and Adversity:

  • Major success differentiator is grit—the willingness to persist past initial motivation wearing off.

    “You are just allowing yourself to cop out... focus on having the discipline to push through long after something becomes boring.” (Tom, 42:15)

• Adaptability & Embracing Failure:

  • Tom shares a personal story: His first interview was so bad he scrapped and redid it, only finding success once he “chased the things I cared about.”

    “This is either the last interview I’m ever going to do, or I’m going to do it a totally different way.” (Tom, 42:15–46:00)

• Repeat Practice:

  • Referencing Tony Robbins: improvement requires more reps, more frequently than others.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Always try to deliver more value to other people than they deliver to you.” (Tom, 12:19)
• “Proving to yourself you have the discipline to do something that’s hard... that you don’t want to do but you’re doing it because it lives in service of your goals... just feels fucking awesome.” (Tom, 41:32)
• “Don’t be afraid to win ugly. Sometimes the victory is just getting to the other side.” (Tom, 48:00)
• “Play is something that is fun in and of itself. If that’s play, yes, I love it. I’m trying to optimize my life for that.” (Tom, 48:25)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Topic/Question | |-----------|--------------------------------------------------| | 01:35 | Kick-off: Who would Tom choose as mentor? | | 02:12 | Nighttime routines: Tom and Cindy’s techniques | | 05:21 | Community-building and Impact Theory phases | | 10:18 | Relationships and value in philanthropy | | 13:03 | Protein cycling and nutrition insights | | 17:15 | Virality, social media, and content strategy | | 21:17 | Mind-body connection, Steven Hawking example | | 24:38 | Batman mythology and brooding loner archetypes | | 27:33 | Multiple-guest/roundtable Impact Theory dream | | 33:45 | No work-life divide: integration philosophy | | 39:37 | Working out for mental discipline/self-belief | | 42:15 | Commitment, grit, and learning from setbacks | | 48:25 | Einstein quote on play, definition of play | | 54:05 | Growing a morning routine |

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Tone and Energy

Tom and Cindy keep the episode candid, inspirational, and full of practical wisdom drawn from entrepreneurial experience. Tom’s responses are energetic yet reflective, aiming to empower listeners to take action, experiment, and build resilience through ongoing self-practice.

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This summary captures the essence, highlights, and structure of Tom Bilyeu’s Q&A, providing actionable takeaways and timestamped guidance for deeper listening.

Transcript

[Tom Bilyeu]

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[Cindy]

Ugh.

[Tom Bilyeu]

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[Cindy]

So I have a couple kickoff questions from After Impact. So this one comes from Sean Delaney, who is the one mentor you would spend a day with to grow yourself.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Wow. Here's where you have to differentiate between the people that really get you amped and the people that would be really great mentors. So the person I think I would probably shadow for a day if I could is Elon Musk. But I don't know. I just don't know if he would be a very good mentor. But yeah, he's somebody that inspires me, so I'll go with him.

[Cindy]

That's pretty cool.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yeah.

[Cindy]

Yeah. And then the next question comes from Deb. She loves Impact Theory, so thank you for that. As a creative, how do you turn off your brain at night and go to sleep?

[Tom Bilyeu]

I'm probably the wrong person to ask that question to because I do not struggle to fall asleep. And part of it is that I really do burn the candle at both ends. So I'm going, going, going. So my thing is, if I'm awake, I'm either working out or working so yeah, by the time my wife makes fun of me because by the time I lay down, I'm out in seconds. Now the question is, if I wake up in the middle of the night and then my mind starts spinning. So let's say I've gotten maybe three or four hours of sleep, which is less than my five hour minimum, which means I'm going to try to fall back asleep. Then how do I quiet my mind? I do meditative stuff. So I do just breathe. Focus on my breathing. I find though, that laying down, I have a hard time getting into the rhythm of the breath. Plus my wife's right next to me. So I'm trying not to like, do it too loud of an exhale. So that can kind of mess with me. So sometimes I'll do like I envision myself. So I tell myself that I can breathe underwater. And then I imagine myself descending to the bottom of the Marianas Trench. I don't know why I find that so comforting, but I do.

[Cindy]

So the bottom of the Marianas Trench?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yep.

[Cindy]

Huh.

[Tom Bilyeu]

That's it. That is the one visualization that I use over and over and over and over. But ironically, I actually have to tell myself, you can breath underwater. Even though, hey, I'm just laying in bed. But see, I tell myself that and then I imagine myself descending.

[Cindy]

Interesting. Yeah. I'm not a good sleeper. So.

[Tom Bilyeu]

At all. Ever.

[Cindy]

So I. Once I fall asleep, I'm pretty much in a coma, which is great, but it takes me a long time to fall asleep.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Give me a like, number of minutes.

[Cindy]

It could be anywhere from 30 minutes to two hours.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Whoa.

[Cindy]

Every night, mostly I don't even count anymore. So I don't know. So now I just go to bed earlier and then know that I'll be up until whenever.

[Tom Bilyeu]

But if I have Straight exhausting yourself.

[Cindy]

So. So straight exhausting myself works sometimes, but then I feel like I get amped on the energy of like trying to exhaust myself and then I'm just still up.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Interesting.

[Cindy]

So I've always been a really bad sleeper like that. So I have to calm my mind. So I'll envision a field and a swing set and just watch it go back and forth. Or I tried to count sheep, which doesn't work for me. The actual act of counting doesn't work, so I have to use visualizations. Or sometimes I just take melatonin and close my eyes, drink a tea and just hope for sleep.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Fair enough.

[Cindy]

So, you know, learning. Learning about myself all these years. Yeah. So this one comes from Gustavo. He's like, he says, hey, guys, big fan from Brazil. Shout out to Brazil.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Shout out to Brazil.

[Cindy]

So he says, why are we always talking about phase one? Build the community. What's phase two? Where are we headed?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Nice. Well, first of all, you can check this out on Impact theory dot com. We've got all three phases laid out there. We're talking about phase one because we're in the thick of phase one. We're all assuming that, so it's not like it's going to be phase one. Hey, everybody, Phase one is now over and we're in phase two. But phase one is building community. So that's like our massive, massive focus right now. Totally focused on social content, getting that out into the world. But we are already doing phase two stuff right now. And phase two is bringing the community together, looking for ideas that we can turn into businesses and traditional narrative. So there's two companies that we're working with we haven't like, signed on the dotted line. Largely because I just want to make sure that, that in one case, that it's real, that the product actually works. They're great guys and I really like them. And I spend a lot of my time actually talking back and forth with one of the guys because it's a medical device company. You've heard me talk about it before. The company's called Neurovalenz and they do vestibular nerve stimulation. This is like every geeky part of my body is just amped up by what these guys are doing. Neuroscientists, we go back and forth. He's constantly sending me data and stuff that he's looking at, and I just find it so interesting. But the device, I need to know it actually works. And it's FDA approved for weight loss. But that doesn't mean that it actually works. It means that in a lab it shows certain efficacy. But the difference between the lab and the real world often is a huge chasm. And I am reputation protective above all else. So the last thing I want to do is get behind something that I'm not 100% sure about. And then I'm hyping it and building it. So I told them, look, I'm happy to get involved. And that's why I talk about them. If you're okay with me telling people that I don't know if this is real, and they've actually been really cool about that, they totally get it. They're a scientist, they're on a quest for the truth. They want to make sure that it's real. As well, so they're very cool with that. But we haven't signed on the dotted line there. And then the other one is not similar like that one. I just need to sit down and read the contracts and make sure that it's good. But I think what they're doing is pretty interesting and, and I may have an even bigger vision for what they could become than they do. So it'll be interesting to see like how much influence I can have there because even if they just crush it in the arena that they're looking at, it's going to be a big company. But if we can think, get them to think even bigger, that it could really, really be big. So. But those guys, super bright entrepreneurs, really excited to start talking openly about them.

[Cindy]

I dig it. All right, I'm excited too.

[Tom Bilyeu]

And then even though Agent Smith, who I'm looking at is not a believer, I'm hopeful that we can get him super excited about the app, which we have an app coming. He's like, he's like calling me out, motherfucker. I think that the app is going to be if it does what we want it to do because we didn't build it from the ground up. We found some guys that have an off the shelf solution be it'll be a great sort of phase one of phase two, if that makes sense. So it'll be a good starting point and if it does some of the things that we want it to do, which is really gamify the experience. So if you understand phase one, build the community. Phase two, point the community at companies narrative ideas. Find the ones that really resonate with people before we put resources behind them. That's a critical part of our plan. And then phase three is monetize everything. It's just the gross simple way to say it. We need that layer of technology where we can incentivize people to do things, to read a script, to read a comic, to read a novel, to look at a company, to go beta test a company or an app or like with neurovalence, hey, you would get points for being one of the early alpha or beta testers on that and giving feedback. So being able to create a global leaderboard, leaderboard of impactivists and like you know what they've done to participate, what we're trying to do and create and you'd get points for that. And other people can see it and there's rewards and we want to do some really crazy stuff to reward people. And you know, on the extreme high end, like if there's you know, maybe an annual grand impactivist award for somebody that's thinking out loud here and the team might have a seizure. But, you know, like, send people to, you know, like some, like, if they're in the U.S. send them to Europe for something big. I mean, really do some cool shit for the community. So. But we need the technology in place to be able to track that. So it's probably more information than you were looking for, Gustavo, but that's where we are.

[Cindy]

Cool. Okay, so this comes from the Philanthropy Channel. How do leaders in the philanthropic space push through all the current noise and media today? How do these leaders get their story out there?

[Tom Bilyeu]

So high value ad content is our gamble. Right. So that's what I believe is going to work and building partnerships over time. So anything that you see happening here. I've been building relationships with people for the last 15, 20 years. And I remember one time asking this guy that I was working with and we needed something, I can't remember, and he had a guy in his phone, he was like, oh, I know a guy that does that. And I said, how do you know somebody that does that? That's so impossibly random. And he said, you know, he was a fair amount older than me. He said, tom, when you're my age, you'll have that many people in your Rolodex as well. And it's true, if you're out there, you're meeting people and not asking like, how is this person valuable to me today? But instead being a fucking human being and saying, like, I want to get to know this person. Maybe they're not useful to you now. And that shouldn't be the driving force behind getting to know them. You should just have a strategy in life that cool people are cool to have in your world. And then, hey, if you've built a real authentic relationship with them, you know, maybe three, four, five, ten years down the road, it's like they become the perfect person. And you've got a track record now of just asking, like, how you can help them and how you can be useful and getting to know them and really like, trying to connect. And you do that enough and you meet enough cool people, all of a sudden it's like, oh my God, like, I actually know somebody that does that.

[Cindy]

Yeah.

[Tom Bilyeu]

And you know, that becomes a thing, like with trying to get the Nike shoe. The guy that leapfrogged me ahead in all of that and put me in contact with a high level Nike exec was somebody that I've been friends with for years and happened to be an early adopter at Quest. And we just got to know each other and connected and built a real friendship. And then it's like I just happened to be mentioning it to him as a one off. Had no idea that he knew anybody at Nike. And then that becomes that high level meeting. So it just. You never know. Meet people, deliver value, always try to deliver more value to other people than they deliver to you. And then you get to reap the rewards of those relationships when they become the, you know, that moment sparks itself and so true.

[Cindy]

Yeah, I mean I was just at a networking event essentially yesterday and it's. I was reconnecting with people that I hadn't seen in a while and it was just great because one person introduces you to another and you kind of find out where everyone's careers have changed and what they're up to now. And for the most part it's just because we like each other and we're just friends. So.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yeah, that's how it works.

[Cindy]

Yeah. So this one comes from Peter Wietenberg. Sorry if I butchered your name. Hi guys. Love it. Here's my question. Can you dive into the protein cycling you talked about in a couple. A couple episodes again ago? I think this one's referring to something in YouTube.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yeah, absolutely. So one, I think that human beings just from an evolutionary perspective, cycled everything that they did, cycled what they ate, cycled where they were getting their food. There was a, you know, following the herds as they migrated and moved. And so there's just a big thing to cycling. And then on top of that, because I'm really lazy, so I certainly do not want to come across as like, it's probably useful to cycle like even at the micronutrient level. So where are you getting your vegetables from? Like where were they grown? What country that, like, that's taking optimization to a level. I do not. I just acknowledge that it would probably be better. But here's what I do with protein cycling specifically. So four days a week I'm high protein and I do that to maintain lean muscle mass. I found I actually prefer to be from how it makes me feel. On a physiological level. I prefer to be high fat all the time, truly ketogenic. Like, I've just never felt better. Your relationship to hunger completely changes, just a much easier lifestyle, even though it's harder to find the foods. But like, obviously at Quest they make a whole bunch of keto stuff. So I was just living off of Quest keto. I did it for about nine months felt amazing. But when I would touch my muscles, they felt soft. And I just found that I had a really hard time maintaining the muscle mass that I had. And so I felt like I was putting a lot of effort into the gym. And so even though my joints felt amazing, even though my relationship to hunger was completely different. And it's very hard to explain how your relationship to food changes, but I will just say this. When you're ketogenic all the time, what you find is your body is literally burning fat. So whether you get it from diet or you get it from body fat, it's the same mechanism for the body. So you're switching back and forth between dietary intake fat and then body fat. And so there's not a decline. Like now if you get really hungry, most people get hangry. Um, you can actually feel your cognitive performance going down. When you're ketogenic, you don't feel that. So you feel hungry, like your body's telling you, hey, go eat. But you don't feel the decline in performance. And so that was amazing. And then high fat diet, assuming that you're getting clean, healthy fats, meaning like not fried, not damaged fats, I should say if you're getting undamaged fats, then your joints just, you feel amazing. It's awesome. But the muscle mass thing was a real problem for me, so I started to cycle. So four days a week, I do high protein. Still high fat, by the way, but not ketogenic. Intaking way too much protein to be ketogenic. And so let's define terms. What does ketogenic mean? This is getting big, Cindy. Ketogenic is really defined scientifically. It's 0.5 millimoles of ketones present in the bloodstream. So you either have it or you don't. And if you're intaking too much protein, then you won't, because through something called gluconeogenesis, you break protein down into glucose. And so your body just stays a glucose burning machine. If you're intaking too much protein, um, so you really, really have to suppress that. So that's ketogenesis. So I do four days a week high protein, maintain muscle mass, and then three days a week of a truly ketogenic diet where it's very, very high fat, very low protein, and virtually no carbohydrate to maintain my low levels of inflammation. And if I adjust that too much, my joints start to hurt.

[Cindy]

You did do an article about your, like, wrists, right? Carpal tunnel and stuff? Yes.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Wasn't Carpal tunnel. Okay, if only it had been, because then maybe there could have been something to do. In fact, is maybe carpal tunnel a myth? I'm way outside my realm of expertise here, so you can ignore everything I'm about to say, but it's entirely possible that carpal tunnel syndrome, as people say it is really just inflammation and that rather than getting surgery, you should probably try a ketogenic diet first. Yeah, I'm not a scientist. I don't play one on tv.

[Cindy]

Right, right, right, right. Okay, so this one comes from Sean Joseph says. Congrats on the 20k subs.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Woo. Thank you.

[Cindy]

And continued growth in viewership. Currently Mel Robbins episode is already around 300,000 plus views. What do you think has attributed to the results of that episode in particular? Do those same learnings guide how you choose to structure future episodes?

[Tom Bilyeu]

No, but it does impact how we pull clips. So what? Anything that goes. So the really interesting thing about Mel's clip is that it went viral on Facebook and I think virality has. Has a formula. Ish. It doesn't mean that just because you meet that formula that it's going to go viral. But things that go viral tend to have these things in common. I'll walk through them in a second. But so her on Facebook, her clip's done, I think almost 11 million views. So yeah. So just massive.

[Cindy]

And.

[Tom Bilyeu]

And what you find is it's advice that is real meaning if you take it, it will make your life better. But it's also advice that is just controversial enough to create enough friction that people want to share it either out of love or hate. And so hey, welcome to the game of being human. So humans like to bitch about things. So the Mel Robbins clip got equal measure. Like, oh my God, this is amazing. It's life changing. And then equal measure, this woman is an idiot. And so I will never understand that. That is like such a waste of time and energy to try to tear something down. Like if you think her strategy is bad, then just present a new one. Don't waste, don't even waste the time to say this doesn't work. Say, hey, here's something that also might work. So I'll never understand people that do it, but it helps something go viral. So I was first introduced to the idea of hate following a couple of years ago because I remember I was like, there's someone had left like this really long, intricate, well thought out comment about why I was an idiot. And I thought a, it's amazing. And then I thought, why is this guy following me. Like, I don't, I actually don't understand, like, if you think I'm an idiot and somebody was like, oh, he's hate following you. I think it was Ryan Holiday told me, he's like, he's hate following you. And I was like, that's a thing. Because that's so, like, anathema to my personality. If I just don't resonate with somebody, I just don't pay attention.

[Cindy]

Right.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Ain't nobody got time for that. Like, I don't have time to follow people that I hate. Like, doesn't make any sense. So anyway, hate following, hate commenting. It helps. So when we look for clips, we're looking for clips that we think there's like something in here that's going to rub some people the right way and going to rub some people the wrong way. And when that happens, you know, you've got a chance that it really takes off.

[Cindy]

Agreed. And as a reminder to our Facebook audience, if you are finding value in this Q and A, please share this live feed for a chance to win a 10 minute chat with the Tom Bilyeu.

[Tom Bilyeu]

That would be amazing. Share, share, share, if you would.

[Cindy]

Yeah, they're really fun.

[Tom Bilyeu]

The 10 minute chats.

[Cindy]

The 10 minute chats. Yeah. I mean, even scheduling them because I get to know some of the people.

[Tom Bilyeu]

That's cool.

[Cindy]

Yeah.

[Tom Bilyeu]

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[Cindy]

So this next one comes from Chris Welsh. Do you think people can escape the matrix mentally without mastering physical health? As someone who eats a giant bowl of vegetables every day, I still found nutritional deficiencies that were worth a year's wor. Wait, were worth a year's worth of mental health improvement through regular meditation, reading, et cetera.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yeah. So if. If I didn't know about Stephen Hawking, I would probably say, oh, no, you have to get to the body to get to the mind. But it's just not true. I think that you'll never fully optimize the mind unless you can optimize the body. And I think that Stephen Hawking is a really fascinating example because he himself says, I would not have had the breakthroughs in physics that I've had if I hadn't gotten shut inside my own body. Because it forced him to really concentrate and to take his life very seriously and to feel like I have very limited time. So I need to really, like, think about this and to really get lost in his imagination as a way to cope with not having control over his physical body. But at the same time, if he had kept. If he had an ability to get that level of focus and optimize his body, I think that he would be even more unstoppable. So it's a trade off. It's, you know, I mean, almost certainly he wouldn't put as much energy and effort into his mind if he had control of his body. So it's give and take, but, yeah, it. Yes, you can. But most people won't. And most people are. The reason that their body is out of shape or whatever is because they. They just don't have discipline, you know, in that area. So behind the scenes, there's a lot of running, which I always. I did I slouch too much? Is that the problem?

[Cindy]

Yeah.

[Tom Bilyeu]

So now it's like, I'm gonna sit up, and then she's gonna be like.

[Cindy]

And I'm like, I should sit up straight, too. Yeah.

[Tom Bilyeu]

God, it's terrible. Yeah. So anyway, kind of hard to sit up straight in. That's where my head's at.

[Cindy]

Yeah. Mind body connection.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Mind body connection, man, for sure.

[Cindy]

Okay, so our next question comes from Josh Martel. Joshua Martel out in Florida. Got to meet him recently. That's cool. So you said that you don't want to be Batman, but that's what Batman's alter ego would say. Kind of fishy to me. And truth be told, I never see both of you in the same room before.

[Tom Bilyeu]

A very good point. We have never been in the same room.

[Cindy]

Then why is that?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yeah, right. It's interesting. I've been thinking about this a lot because I really, really resonate really well with the Batman mythology. And there's something to like being this sort of dark Brooding loner. That is cool. And I try not to get myself in trouble by chasing things that are cool when they're not. Like, they don't feel good. So it's like the tortured artist, right? So when I was in film school, the tortured artist notion really resonated with me. I wanted to be a tortured artist. And I thought, oh, God, like, you're doubling down on something so negative. Like, is there a way? Because, like, so I used to really, really be into writing poetry. And it is so easy to write poetry when you're upset. If you're upset, if you're traumatized, it just.

[Cindy]

It's great.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Pours out of you. I thought, can you write from a place of beauty, joy, happiness? And when you can tap into something there, I think that there you'll have a breakthrough in your life of, you know, really focusing on the positive. And so I do love the Batman mythology. I think it's absolutely incredible. And I find it really cool and tempting to double down on, like, the brooding, dark loner. But at the end of the day, I think that it's not really. Yeah, it's bad mojo. But I love his comic books. I love the movies. Like, it's really resonant mythology for me.

[Cindy]

Yeah, No, I mean, I totally agree with the idea of, you know, being able to write poetry from a dark place is so much easier than. Easier than from a place of beauty and light, which is interesting. And I find that with a lot of artists.

[Tom Bilyeu]

You see what I did there, Joshua? I didn't answer your question.

[Cindy]

He's like. He evaded the question, guys. He might be Batman. Okay, so this one comes from Saad Masoud.

[Tom Bilyeu]

That's a dope name. Massad Massoud.

[Cindy]

Saad Masood.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Assad Massoud. I need a way cooler name. That's dope.

[Cindy]

So who is a great interviewer, in your view? And do you model your interview style and research after anyone?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Ooh, I don't. Who do I think is a great interviewer? This is. Well, okay, so let's say this. I think Tim Ferriss is unbelievably good at creating a podcast. So do I think he's a good interviewer. I think that he gets yes, because he gets something so great from the people that come on his show. But, like, I am literally trying to be 180 degrees in the opposite direction. So Tim is, like, highly tactical. I remember him one time asking, who was it? The guy that wrote the Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell. He asked him, like, what app do you use to take Notes. And Gladwell, like, all but laughed because he was like, who cares about that? But, like, that's Tim's thing, right? Is to get to the highly tactical, like, the really nitty gritty. And that is one of the things that makes him such an awesome interviewer. And I love his podcast so much, but I wanted to fill a void on the other end of the spectrum, so I certainly don't model myself after him. But he gets amazing results. And if you haven't seen his interview with Jamie Foxx, which is so much fun, or what he did with Arnold Schwarzenegger, like, just phenomenal, phenomenal. But he even makes fun of himself for the way that he'll just like, ask a question totally randomly has nothing to do with what they're talking about. And. But he gets results. And so is there. At the end of the day, it's like marrying sort of your natural personality with taking the. The person that you're interviewing somewhere interesting and new. And I pride myself in my ability to get people to go somewhere new. Um, and because of that, I think, is why I don't model myself after anyone. Because it's like, by definition, then you're going to get something that you've already seen. So, yeah, I'm leveraging my natural fascination to go somewhere new.

[Cindy]

Right. Perspective and curiosity kind of play into that. All right, so this next one comes from Justin Campbell. Campbell Platt. So, Tom, do you ever plan on getting more than one guest on at once for a roundtable like arrangement? I think that would be great.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Um, yeah, I would love that. And it's. Here's why we don't do that now. Scheduling is a nightmare. Scheduling is a nightmare. Now, if we had 3 million subscribers, it might get a lot easier to pull people in, because then it's like they, you know, for selfish reasons, they all would be. Be more likely to come on because the audience is so much bigger. And you can be a little more pushy when you've got a big audience like that. I would do that in a heartbeat. I think that would be incredibly fun. And sort of in the back of my mind is that fantasy is I really get to know some of these people because we. So we have what we call the Impact Theory Alumni Club. So the people that come on the show, we really do our best to stay in contact, to continue to add value even when they're not on camera, so that we can one day hopefully do things like that. And some of these have turned into real friendships with people. So, you know, hopefully one day we can get a super eclectic, amazing group together. It would just be so cool to get, like, a celebrity and a neuroscientist and, you know, an athlete or something. Get them together and talk about some just really heady shit, which is, like, what gets me excited. That would be a lot of fun. So let's call that, you know, a year from now, maybe we'll have enough clout. And no, Agent Smith, that was not me. Bumping our year goal up to 3 million. That would be cool. But, yeah, we just. We need a bigger audience. So, hey, while we're on the subject, if you guys, if the content is adding value to your life, share this, that would be amazing. Help us build that. And that is what is really going to let us do some cool, cool stuff. We're already, because of the amazingness that is Dr. Finesse, we were able to get just guests in the show that we should not be able to get. And going back to our earlier question, you know, about building that network and playing the long game, he's been doing that for, you know, whatever, 20, 25 years. So we're able to get these incredible guests, and I think that what we'll be able to get on the show as we get bigger is going to be ridiculous. Have we ever talked on camera about the fact that behind the scenes here we have one of somebody who worked on the Oprah show, and then Dr. Finesse, who we've talked endlessly about, who's booked for Arsenio Hall, Tavis Smiley. Like, we've got some real talent on the show, and sort of what we all talk about is, what do we look like when we have a million followers? Like, do we become the biggest thing since sliced bread? And I think that's up to you guys. Help, Help.

[Cindy]

That would be up to you guys.

[Tom Bilyeu]

So I think that we'll be able to do something crazy. I'm certainly willing to put in the work to give people an exceptional interview. And then the team behind the scenes is just crushing it. And even to the point where my wife has become a technical genius, which is absurd.

[Cindy]

And she's the one that created this multi cam.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yeah, that's all, like, literally all her. So we all just kept heckling her, like, when are we gonna have, like, multicams? She's like, fine.

[Cindy]

It's like, I'll do it.

[Tom Bilyeu]

And then it's amazing, amazing. And oh, oh. We still can't say who she's doing it with, but she's recorded the first two episodes of her podcast. This is Gonna be sick. She's gonna leapfrog. You watch. She's gonna be the first one with a million followers. It's gonna be amazing. I'm super stoked on that. I haven't even heard her podcast yet. I'm dying to. I keep like, oh, tell me more. Like, tell me more. I can't see this. So she wants to be a surprise, but yeah, yeah. So they've already banged out to. This is real. This is going to happen. It's going to be incredible. They have the name. They even have, like, sort of basic logo. The first step in the logo. It's going to be super, super dope. I don't think I'm giving away anything too early to say that it's focused on female empowerment. It's going to be dope. So definitely, definitely we're going to hype out of that when it drops, but that's going to be good.

[Cindy]

So excited about it. Okay, so this one comes from Shakar Dewan. Hey, Tom. As I've been improving my mindset, I've been able to do a lot more work on my own, but I still suck at cooperate. Yeah. Cooperating while working on major things with other people. Would love some advice on this, if you have it. And do you think it's related to the bandwidth of output that Elon Musk keeps talking about?

[Tom Bilyeu]

So I don't. I haven't heard Elon talk about the bandwidth of output, so I can't comment on that. But. So I'll ask a question. And this is. It comes from a famous. A famous Tony Robbins story where a guy came to him and said, tony, I want to be as good at speaking as you are. Every weekend, I make sure that I have at least three speaking gigs. And, you know, so I'm really putting in the work. And Tony's like, wow, that's amazing. You know, you're on the right path, but if you're speaking three times a week, I'm speaking three times a day. So in a month, I'm going to do more than you're going to do in a year. And it really comes down to scale. So if that's where you struggle is doing cooperative stuff, how often are you doing it? Like, how often are you putting yourself in that position where you're actually working with other people, finding out your rhythm in that team dynamic, getting a team together and realizing, God, two thirds of the people that I brought together for this group, like, they don't make sense in this group, and it's bad chemistry. And so getting good at finding the people, identifying things that are signals of what the chemistry is going to be like when you work together, finding out what your dynamic is in that group, it comes from doing it, doing it, doing it. And never think of something as performance. Always think of it as practice. So put a group together, try to do something great, but remember that it's practice. And so don't be afraid to say, okay, I didn't do a great job of picking the group here, or I really let the group down there. I can't even breathe and talk at the same time. Like, see, I'm just practicing. So even something as simple as breathing and talking can present its own challenge.

[Cindy]

And you do this a lot.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yeah. So, look, it's all about practice.

[Cindy]

It is all about practice.

[Tom Bilyeu]

That's the second time, like this week that I've almost choked to death breathing. I don't know what is happening.

[Cindy]

I don't know. Well, it's allergy season, so maybe starting to, you know.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Give me that out. Thank you.

[Cindy]

Tickle your throat. You're. You're welcome. I don't know. I'm not sure if you have allergies, but they crop up.

[Tom Bilyeu]

I don't think that's my problem.

[Cindy]

Okay, well, just letting them know. All right, so this one comes from Scott Vera. How do you separate your personal life from your business life and stay productive and creative at the same time?

[Tom Bilyeu]

I don't. I don't separate them. Maybe that's bad.

[Cindy]

They are one.

[Tom Bilyeu]

But, yeah. So my wife and I work together, co founded the company. We work together at Quest. It's just, that's the rhythm that we found in our life. And especially once you make the demand that you build a business around something that you really care about. Something like, I would do this for free. In fact, not only am I doing it for free, I'm paying a lot of money to do this. So, like, this is so, you know, it's the thing. So this is literally, if you were going to ask me, what would you do if you didn't have to worry about money? Like, that's the life that I'm already living. So, you know, you find that thing that you love that you would do, do even if you weren't being paid, that you would love doing even if you were failing. And then all of a sudden, you're not looking for the separation, so I look for the integration. I think that Richard Branson has talked very powerfully on this. When you can no longer distinguish between work and play, you've Got something good going on. So I love creating content. I love putting this stuff out there. I love doing the prep work. Some of my favorite times during the week are when I click onto something that I'm researching for the guest and I'm utterly, utterly fascinated by it. And in those moments, there is no anx, There is no stress, There is no pressure. There's just that thing that's fascinating. And I see my goal to be really to, in a super raw way, bring my fascination, bring the thing that I have fallen in love with to the forefront. Hopefully that that's infectious and that people also get caught up in that. And I always let that be my guide. And, you know, won't make the mistake of over optimizing for profits. You have to be profitable, and I want to accumulate resources, and part of that's going to be generating wealth. That's like the name of the game. But not to get lost in that.

[Cindy]

Right? Money's the byproduct.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Money is the byproduct. Very well said.

[Cindy]

Yes. All right, so this next one comes from Holiday Squared. Would you be willing to talk about the impact of Joseph Campbell's the Hero with a Thousand Faces on you? And what's the most impactful piece for you?

[Tom Bilyeu]

So for those that don't know the Hero with a Thousand Faces, basically, Joseph Campbell is the preeminent scholar on mythology. Unfortunately, he passed away quite some time ago. But he wrote a book called the Power of Myth. He wrote another book called the Hero with a Thousand Faces. And the Hero with a Thousand Faces is really about how if you look across all cultures and societies, they're basically all telling the same story. And it's got different rappers, but it's the hero's journey. And it's. I'll shorten it to sort of the fixed mindset to the growth mindset. It's like they're at the beginning, they answer the call reluctantly, and, you know, then they go on this essentially big spiritual quest, and it looks like they're never going to do it. And then they push through and, you know, they have a fear limitation blocker wound, and they have to overcome that fear limitation blocker wound to have the ultimate success. And then they bring that lesson back to the tribe. Okay, so that's sort of like the hero's journey in a nutshell. And the most important, impactful part for me, I don't know, it feels like the kind of thing that's meant to be taken in totality. The way that it's really impacted me is that it's as a student of narrative, it's understanding that through line how humans respond. And if you sort of reverse engineer and not say humans constructed that story, but rather revealed it as a sculptor reveals the inner beauty of marble to give you a sculpture, it's really us sort of backtracking in what resonates with humans. And the reason that that story in that form has carried on and become like the dominant piece of narrative in culture is because that's how humans are wired to latch onto something, to transmit something, to be inspired, to be moved, to understand, to assimilate information. That through line is the through line that is the key that fits in our neurological lock, if you will. And if our lock looked different, then the key would look different. And so it just really is. That's the way the human mind is built. And so understanding it, understanding how to structure a story for maximum impact, I think is very, very important. And as somebody who believes that the key to transmitting truly powerful world changing ideology that will influence the next generation of companies, which is what we're trying to do, you have to understand the shape of that key so that you can manufacture it over and over.

[Cindy]

Hashtag truth. Also as a reminder, guys, our official Facebook community is launching on Monday. I can't believe I forgot to tell you guys. Yeah, so definitely be on the lookout for that. If you're signed up to our newsletter, you'll be finding out about that as well. Or just, you know, follow us on all social and yeah, learn about it.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Super excited about that.

[Cindy]

I'm like, really excited. I've been working a lot, a lot on all the content. All right. I'm so excited. Whatever.

[Tom Bilyeu]

And this is Cindy's baby. So when it launches, know that this woman has put an inordinate amount of effort into showing the love to the community. It's. It's really been incredible to watch you put it together.

[Cindy]

So, yeah. So coming soon.

[Tom Bilyeu]

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[Cindy]

Okay, so this one comes from Shakar Dhawan. Does working out help you with mental chatter? I find my body. Sorry, I find my mind is too Noisy and thinking. Too much. Meditation sometimes helps, but not sufficiently all the time.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Well, working out. Here's what working out does. It helps me earn credibility with myself. I don't know that it stops the chatter, but I find that if you have stress in your life, if you're worried about something, if you're insecure about something, there is one bulletproof solution that works every single time. And it's not meditation, it's action. So if you're feeling insecure, it's because you're not good at something, and you probably have your finger on something you actually aren't very good at. Fantastic. Now you know, go get good at it, right? So go put the time and energy into getting good at that. And you will find that as soon as you begin taking action, you will feel better about it. Even though you're not there, you haven't mastered the craft. You, like, there is some deep seated part of your mind that knows you are now doing what you need to do. And I, I use that as a guide. A lot of times if I'm like really stressed, really worried about something, if I dive into it and just start chipping away at it and taking care of it, then like the anxiety, the stress, the pressure, it drops because I'm like, I'm doing what I need to do to actually be prepared for this. So putting in that work is really, really critical. And the gym is one simple way to do that. But depending on what you're trying to do, it may not be the answer to all of your woes. So to me, going to the gym is optimizing the body to get to the mind. It's looking better, feeling better, it's earning credibility with myself that I have the discipline to show up and do something. And that's a huge one. I think people really underestimate that. Proving to yourself that you have the discipline to do something that's hard, that's difficult, that you don't want to do, but you're doing it because it lives in service of your goals. Proving to that to yourself on a daily basis just feels fucking awesome. And when you walk out of the gym, you'd be like, yeah, I'm a stud because I showed up, I did what I needed to do, so that's a big deal. But at the end of the day, my real take home message isn't about the gym. It's about doing whatever is needed to actually get good at that thing that you're stressed or freaked out about. Like, face it head on.

[Cindy]

Got it. Well, I mean, for me, I find working out does help with the mental chatter. Yeah. Yeah. It's just being in the process of motion all the time, kind of just. You can't really think about much else, so everything else shuts off. So you're just really focused in on that one task if it's super strenuous. So, I don't know, find what works for you. That's my advice. Um, so this one comes from Albert Garza, Ocampo. Hey, Tom. Thanks for the amazing lessons. I have a question about commitment. Anytime I have a goal, I can never stick to it fully. With my. All my passion, I can't. I can go about a couple weeks, but then I procrastinate and lose track. What can I do?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Well, one, you're gonna have to distinguish. This is a grip problem. So let's just start with that. And you're gonna have to distinguish, like, is it that you really aren't that interested? And thank God I put the work in, and after a couple weeks that I realize this really isn't my thing. But if it's a pattern of behavior, chances are that you are just allowing yourself to cop out. And so now we have to focus on having the discipline to push through long after something becomes boring. And I really believe that that may be one of the key things that differentiates people who end up being successful. And those who don't are the people that become successful. When something gets hard, when something gets boring, they are still so focused on what they want that they keep pushing through to that. And so I put as much time and energy, maybe more, into getting great at interviewing and doing an awesome interview and crushing it when no one was watching. Like, we literally had no audience, and, you know, things were going out to 100 people, 150 people, and those are the views that we were getting. And it's like, God, I'm spending so much time and energy. But do you have the ability to keep pushing through, knowing that if I keep doing this, that I will reach the goal that I want, which is to really have impact, to really be able to help a lot of people, and you just have to fight through it? Or, like, I remember the first couple of interviews, I literally. So, in fact, I haven't told this story very many times. The first interview that we did with John glaud back at InsideQuest. John Glaud's a great dude. Obese to beast. Check him out. Show him love. He's an amazing human being. And we did the episode, did a whole hour long episode. And in the middle of the episode I was bored and I was like, this is never going to work. And this isn't going to work because I have this vision of what an interviewer is supposed to be. And I'm asking all the questions that I think an interviewer is supposed to ask. And John is dutifully giving all the answers that he's supposed to give to those sort of rudimentary questions. And this isn't going to work. And so in the middle of that interview, I think to myself, this is either the last interview I'm ever going to do or I'm going to do it a totally different way. And so we wrap the interview, an hour long interview, and I say, that was terrible, John. Are you willing to do it again right now? And he said, yeah. And I said, thank you, man, I'm so grateful. And we started over at the beginning and I just asked all the questions I wanted to ask. I chased the things I cared about. I pushed back when I thought that there was a deeper answer. And we just did it and it was raw. And that ended up being the one that we released. And that really showed me that this could really be something if I was willing to learn, get better, admit that I wasn't yet good to push and fight, to find my own unique voice, to not try to follow in the footsteps of anybody that came before me and to really, really put in the effort. And that willingness to push through the awkwardness that I felt being that interviewer, feeling lost, feeling like I'm incapable of getting a good interview, if I hadn't been willing to push through that, that pain, then you never get on the right path. So at the end of the day, it's about making the demand of yourself that just because it's boring, that you don't stop. Like, if it's really something that you believe in, it's really something that you want to do that you keep going and you just have to actually go. And you know, this starts to tie into my whole thing of always say yes. You're going to be scared, you're going to be afraid that's not going to go away, that's always going to be there. And so you just have to keep saying yes, knowing that every time you say yes, you're putting yourself in a terrifying situation where you could fail and that you may fall in your face and that some percentage of the time you almost certainly will fall in your face, just like this morning. So there was the book that I wanted to review. I Literally had no idea how I was going to review it. It was the first fiction book that I was going to be reviewing. It was so, like, the. All the things that I've learned to do in a book review that didn't exist. And it was just like, people kept saying, do you have a book to review? Yes, I do. When can we do it? Can we do it tomorrow? Yes, we can do it tomorrow. Even though I'm like, I don't know how I'm gonna do this. And then literally, my wife's texting me. She's like, we need to be filming in, like, 10 minutes. And I'm like, I still don't know how I'm gonna do this, but I'm gonna sit in that chair, and I know that people are gonna be all around, like, waiting to see, you know, not. Not even waiting to see if I fail. But it's like, if I fail, there are people there witnessing it. And then we'd miss a piece of content. And I just thought, well, here we go. And even down to the point where Lisa was like, we really need to start rolling. Like, how much. How much more time do you need? And I'm like, five minutes. And then she asked me later, how much more time? Three minutes. And so it was just like, I'm running out, and now we're recording. And so, you know, you see what you do. And I thought, okay, well, maybe this is going to work, maybe it's not. But I know I need to keep saying yes and keep moving forward. And then it ended up being. I mean, maybe it'll be terrible or at least poorly received, but I love doing it, and I really found, like, a way in. But I. I knew that if I chickened out because I didn't see the path, that I was never going to find the path. And that sometimes just being there in front of everybody with the mic in your hand and being like, well, I've got to get to the other side of this. And I'm going to get to the other side. Even if I stutter and stammer, I'm going to get to the other side by doing it. I'm not going to get to the other side by running away. And so it doesn't matter if it's in fact. Rebecca Rush. Look her up. Another inspirational person. Um, she's an endurance athlete, and she said, I don't mind winning Ugly. And I always thought that was awesome. Like, she will. And she used to get heckled for it because on a really steep hill, she would Just carry her mountain bike. And people were like, oh. Like, that's like, stupid. Like, you're not even riding your bike. Like, how can you feel good about that? And she's like, hey, I don't mind throwing it on my shoulder. I don't mind falling down on my. Getting scraped and bruised. Admitting, like, I'm terrible at, you know, pedaling uphill and I'll get better later. But for now, I'm just gonna put the bike in my fucking back and I'm going to carry it up and hashtag winugly. It's like, not afraid to win ugly. People should not be afraid to win ugly. Because sometimes the victory is just getting to the other side.

[Cindy]

That was deep.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Thank you.

[Cindy]

That's deep. Okay. Yeah. So this one comes from Lindsay Hahn. Hey, Tom. You are always pushing crazy hard towards your goals and have so much grit. I love Einstein's quote. Play is the highest form of research. Does this resonate with you? If so, what do you do for play?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yeah. So if we can define play. Play is something that is fun in and of itself. It makes you feel alive. You're having a great time. You lose track of time. You're not doing it because you're supposed to. Even if it is the thing you're supposed to be doing. You're doing it because it's fun. So if that's play, then, yes, I love it. I'm trying to, like, optimize my life for that. That the more the things that I'm doing feel more and more like play every day. Because you're narrowing your world down to the things that you love that your goal is tied into those things that I think is really, really important. And so for me, learning is the thing that I love. And so one of the things I wanted to find a way to do was how can I, when I learn something that it have this effect on the business? And so one of the ways, I mean, the content that we do is basically, these are things I'm learning anyway. Like, why do book reviews? Because I'm going to read the books, like, whether you tell me not to. Like, if you've ever read the book Fahrenheit 451, about a world where books are illegal and they're all burned.

[Cindy]

Like, I promise you, that book made me so sad.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Oh, that book is so good.

[Cindy]

No, I know. It's a really good book. But just the concept of books being burned. I was like. I was upset by it and me both. I was just like, but all the books are gone. Yeah. I'd be the person reading underground.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Right.

[Cindy]

So you and me, 100% reading underground.

[Tom Bilyeu]

We're both getting arrested, we're both going to jail. We're being put to death. There's just no two ways about it. But I'm reading books whether you want me to or not. That could be the world's most illegal thing ever. And I'm still doing it. Still gonna do it, no question. And, yeah. So optimizing for that play, I think, is really, really smart.

[Cindy]

Absolutely. Okay, so this one is from Danvro Fitness.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Danbro Fitness.

[Cindy]

All right, so after listening. Speaking of book reviews, after listening to your book review on Stealing Fire, it sounds like you're getting tempted to microdose. Are you?

[Tom Bilyeu]

And why I'm getting tempted? I haven't done it. Here's the truth. I want to do it with my wife, like, every. Every, like, cool thing. So a pleasure shared is a pleasure doubled.

[Cindy]

Yes.

[Tom Bilyeu]

And if my wife were gung ho about it, I would probably, like, that would be the thing that I need to crack over. I'm struggling against identity. I have for so long been the guy that doesn't do drugs that it. It. It plays with that. But there's something bigger to me, which is fascinating, which is I'm going to pretend for a second that microdosing, which I'll define as very low levels of a psychedelic, that don't make you feel like you're on drugs, but allow you to make really creative connections in your mind. If that's true, and if my value proposition is accurate, that I can actually have global impact at some point, to not avail yourself of all the tools at your disposal, like, you're slowing that progress down. So if it really is that effective, and I don't know that it is, but if it really is that effective, I'm letting my identity stand in the way of. Of doing the thing that I ultimately really want to be able to do and is an even bigger part of my identity. So it's interesting. I'm scared. It's just fear. It was fear and identity. I want to live forever. I don't want to do things that, like, could potentially damage my brain. And so it's like I'm, you know, weighing all these things and fighting against the image of, you know, people who do drugs as, like, whack jobs. And, you know, and part of the reason that Jamie in particular was tempting is because he's. He is so coherent and so smart and so interesting and compassionate and fun, and I've Gotten a chance to spend time with him off camera. And he's just a good dude. And so he's like, look, I've talked to a lot of people. They. A lot of people that are very, very successful at the highest levels doing this and getting great results from it. And some of the technological breakthroughs that have been a result of that. I don't know, it just makes me think that it's worth trying. And I've tried weed three times. Fucking hated it. And that did not exactly feed into any desire to do drugs. The one drug that I always wanted to develop an addiction to was Modafinil, which is an anti narcoleptic drug. And I have truly only ever been tongue in cheek about that. If it really worked and you didn't need sleep, I would do that for sure. But I tried it once and it's great for international travel because it takes the suffering out of being tired. Still tired. Just. You don't suffer. So it wasn't close enough to being like a true you don't need to sleep drug for me to mess with whatever consequences it might have. But, yeah, so that's where I'm at. I might try it. I think, though, for me to try it, I'd have to be willing to talk about the fact that I tried it. And right now, because of that identity conflict, I'd want to be all secretive about it. And that doesn't feel good.

[Cindy]

True. So, yeah, I don't know. Like, it seems like, yeah, it'd be fun. But I guess we'll see because I'm like, pretty open in terms of, like, new experiences. So I feel like it's a new experience because that's kind of part of my identity is just being someone who tries new things. But, yeah, so it's like I haven't really given it much thought myself. All right, so this next one comes from Corey G. Rhoda. How did you create your morning routine? Did you slowly implicate working out, then meditation, et cetera, to eventually setting goals? Not in that order necessarily. Or did you jump in both feet and just make it happen?

[Tom Bilyeu]

No, it was very slow. The way that you described it is exactly how it happened for me. So working out was about wanting to get strong, wanting to look good, wanting to escape the fate that so many people in my family succumb to, you know, getting obese. And so I didn't want that. And look, I'm a guy who's obsessed with superheroes, so I wanted to be strong, I wanted to be bigger. You know, more muscular. And so that was the gym. That's what started that. And then so I went from having no game with women, no game whatsoever, to really looking at the world and saying, okay, you know, the advice that I give to people, if you want to do something, find somebody who's good at it and asked them what they did. And so there was this guy that I worked with who just like, girls on girls on girls. And I was just like, he had the Jews, this guy. Like, so, yes, he was very good looking. That did not hurt. But I just asked him and I'm like, dude, like, what is the secret? And he said, oh, be a jerk to women. And I was like, that's so cliche. I refuse to believe that that's true. But I thought, he's really good with women. So let me really think through, like, what this is about. And what I realized was like, money is a byproduct. Being a quote unquote jerk is a byproduct of just being confident. Because what he means is you wanna. You don't wanna overly invest, right? And that is, unfortunately, that's an aphrodisiac. Because if you seem too interested, people go. Because people are. You want some raw truth? It's all about sexual market value. Okay? This is, this is just. These are truth bombs. I'm not saying it should be this way. I'm just saying it is this way. And they've done experiments where it's like, you give people a randomly assigned card, like from a deck of 52 cards, standard cards, and you put it on your head so you don't know what your card says, but you can see other people's cards. And then you have to try to get somebody to pair up with you that has the highest card possible, but you can't see yours. So if you're like the ace, like, everyone's coming up to you and like, trying to like, get your thing. So. But now you don't go to the person who's most eager. You're actually looking for the person who's like, maybe not as hot. Because it's like, well, maybe they're right at my level or maybe a little bit higher, so I actually want to be with them. That's the way sexual market value works. So when you're too eager, people are like, maybe you're below my sexual market value. Because nobody really knows what their market value is. You just based on how people respond to you. So as I began to put it in like a social scientist context, realized Maybe that's what's going on. Then I realized it's about confidence. And I'm not displaying confidence. I'm displaying eagerness. And eagerness is not because I would get fascinated by something I think, oh my God, like they're so interesting. And I write the poetry in. Right.

[Cindy]

That's weird.

[Tom Bilyeu]

So I thought, okay, let me think through it that way. And so that's how I began to come at the world. You're going to have to help me get back to the original question. I lost somewhere and being excited about where we were headed with all this. So just to wrap that thought up while you look for the question.

[Cindy]

I think this is a tangent.

[Tom Bilyeu]

This is very sadly a tangent.

[Cindy]

But I, you know, it's fun.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Oh, my morning routine. So I'll get back to. So that's why I originally started lifting. Because I recognized that to increase my sexual market value, that was also something that's very helpful. So being confident, my physical appearance, like these are just things that were effective. And then getting into that. So that's how that became a morning routine. And then meditating was about trying to optimize my mind lower my background radiation reading was just making sure that I always had time for it. I'm not sure how to take the talking about sexual market value, attracted agencies myth background. We got to wrap it up. We're.

[Cindy]

We're wrapping soon. That's what that means. Which sucks. Cuz I. I didn't even get to tell you about the time that someone left me like a singing voicemail.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Amazing.

[Cindy]

Yeah. I didn't know him that well.

[Tom Bilyeu]

It was a guy trying to get your attention.

[Cindy]

Yeah, it's too early for all that. I also don't really listen to voicemails.

[Tom Bilyeu]

I didn't sing, but I've done ridiculous things like that.

[Cindy]

So it's like,

[Tom Bilyeu]

As my wife would say, it's too full on.

[Cindy]

It is like, you know, he was nice. He was a nice guy.

[Tom Bilyeu]

No. Here's a sad reality. If there are any guys watching that are at that stage the way that I finally attracted the woman who would become my wife, I ignored her. I ignored her and just believed this is a winning strategy. I didn't want to ignore her. But you have to. You have to. And I mean look, you have to. Where we're like, eh, yeah, it's a balance.

[Cindy]

It is a balance.

[Tom Bilyeu]

This is, it's, it's, it's graduate level course stuff. But there it is.

[Cindy]

Maybe we'll do a relationship coaching session one day.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Trust me. I had to learn all that stuff the hard way. The hard way. All right, so we're at our end. Agent Smith is hovering. Guys, thank you so much for joining us. I really, really had fun with this one today. I hope this stuff is adding value. If it is, please, please share it.

[Cindy]

Share it.

[Tom Bilyeu]

If you haven't already, be sure to subscribe to all of our channels like this. Because you're on Facebook right now. Give it a like. If you're on YouTube, subscribe. We are doing our best to bring absolutely amazing content out into the world. So we thank you guys so much for joining us. And until next time, my friends, be legendary. Peace out.

[Cindy]

Bye, everyone.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Everybody, thank you so much for listening. And if this content is delivering value to you, please go to itunes, go to Stitcher Rate and review us. That helps us us build this community. And that is what we are all about right now. Building this community as big as we can to help as many people as we can deliver as much value as possible. And you guys rating and reviewing really helps with that. All right, guys, thank you again so much. And until next time, my friends, be legendary. Take care.