Special Episode: Motivation or Garbage? An Impact Theory Original Game Show (Replay)

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Impact Theory – “Motivation or Garbage? An Impact Theory Original Game Show (Replay)”

Host: Tom Bilyeu (plus game show Host and Mel Robbins)
Air Date: November 16, 2023
Format: Lively “game show” debate with Mel Robbins, tackling modern ideas, cultural topics, and self-improvement memes by rating them “Motivation” or “Garbage.”

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Episode Overview

In this energetic, tongue-in-cheek “game show” episode, Tom Bilyeu and guest Mel Robbins face off to decide whether popular ideas, social trends, and cultural icons are motivating or just plain garbage. Contestants present their takes on each topic with fast-paced banter, personal stories, and hard-won wisdom, with plenty of disagreement and laughter along the way. The episode playfully probes the core of success advice, current social narratives, and the practical tools for leading a meaningful life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Format & Purpose

• Contestants are presented with a range of trending or debated “motivational” concepts.
• Each reveals their take—Motivating or Garbage—and defends their stance.
• Audience participation is encouraged, with prizes for top online comments and questions.
• The goal: “Plumb the depths of the human experience” and challenge conventional wisdom, in an unbiased way.
• Mel and Tom bring contrasting perspectives as high-profile entrepreneurs and self-development leaders.

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2. Notable Topics & Dialogues

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

Motivation – [04:57]

• Mel Robbins: “He was once homeless… And now they’re laughing all the way to the bank by following their intuition… Motivation.”
• Tom Bilyeu: “Anybody that can do what he’s done to his physique is utterly astonishing… Motivation.”

No Days Off

Split – [06:12]

• Tom: “Going as hard as you can is inspiring. Trust yourself, if you need a day off, take one.”
• Mel: “The science is against it. Complete and utter garbage… without downtime, you can’t reset your brain, you can’t focus on creative projects.”

Money

Motivation – [08:42]

• Mel: “I just have a lot of fun making a lot of money… But money alone wouldn’t be a motivator.”
• Tom: “Having been on both sides… people will forever chase money because money is real. There's tremendous, tremendous power to money because of its ability to facilitate.”

Millennials

Split – [11:01]

• Tom: “There’s an incredible number of awesome people in there… I’m of the Goggins philosophy: toughen the fuck up, buttercup.”
• Mel: “Millennials get typecast… What we’re seeing is permission to bring what we all want—recognition, sense of importance, contribution. But I hate typecasting everybody.”

Five-Second Rule (Mel’s own tool)

Motivation – [15:13]

• Mel (playfully): “This was a complete gimmick I created to get rich… that was a joke, obviously… When you give someone a formula that sounds simple, you realize these simple concepts work. I think the most powerful things in life are the simplest things.”
• Tom: “I didn’t think it was a get-rich-quick scheme but it seemed too easy… the response from people who say this has changed their life is just undeniable.”

Suffering and Pain

Split – [22:27]

• Mel: “We spend too much time there… dwelling in self-inflicted suffering is garbage.”
• Tom: “You only meet yourself in suffering… When you put yourself into self-inflicted suffering… you really realize who you are and where your boundaries are.”

Psychedelics

Garbage – [28:27]

• Mel: “Like Tom, I’ve experimented… I don’t like them. I don’t like feeling out of control.”
• Tom: “I don’t have the courage to find out if it’s motivating… I’m so brain-protective.”

Motivation Is Garbage (Mel’s Viral Clip)

Motivation – [33:12]

• Tom: “Motivation will let you down at the most inopportune moments… not looking past the headline winds me up.”
• Mel: “The mistake is waiting—waiting to feel like it, for the right time, for motivation. It’s not coming for the big stuff. It requires a push. Nobody is coming to save your ass. It’s up to you.”

Artificial Intelligence

Mixed – [36:51]

• Mel: “It scares the hell out of me… the pace of technology is eclipsing our ability to keep up. There are implications I can’t wrap my brain around.”
• Tom: “Technology is a one-way street towards hope and prosperity… The world is only going to get better.”

Sex

Motivation – [41:26]

• Mel: “It gets better… it’s work, you gotta be intentional about it, but it’s amazing.”
• Tom: “From a neurochemistry standpoint, it’s nature’s greatest high.”

Haters

Motivation – [43:30]

• Tom: “Knowing that people want you to fail is actually incredibly potent… Only the darkness will do sometimes.”
• Mel: “True haters who engage your ideas are motivating—if you trigger someone, there’s a kernel of truth. It’s step one in changing their opinion.”

The Matrix (Movie as Metaphor)

Motivation (Tom), Garbage (Mel) – [46:37]

• Tom: “This movie is the perfect metaphor for what it means to be human… The Matrix is the mind.”
• Mel: “I can’t really remember much… if I had to say the difference between red and blue pill, I wouldn’t know.”

Social Media

Mixed – [50:36]

• Mel: “I’m conflicted—worried about the consuming side, about mental health in kids, but as an entrepreneur, it’s an amazing tool for connection and real-time feedback.”
• Tom: “Optimism is my default… social media has only given to me… Relationships are real if you pursue them.”

Genius

Split – [55:46]

• Mel: “Genius is garbage… it’s about growth mindset, not arriving at a static state.”
• Tom: “Genius is real, some people process data faster, but most don’t do anything with it… You are average in every way. Your life is about what you’re willing to become.”

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On simple tools:
  “If you can find power in that tiny moment, you will win every single time… Every single change comes down to a five-second decision.”
  — Mel Robbins, [18:53]

• On motivation:
  “Nobody is coming to save your ass. It is up to you… The second you push through, you win.”
  — Mel Robbins, [35:27]

• On haters:
  “Knowing that people out there want you to fail is incredibly potent… Only the darkness will do sometimes.”
  — Tom Bilyeu, [43:30]

• On genius:
  “You are average in every way conceivable… Your life is going to be the answer to one question: what are you willing to become?”
  — Tom Bilyeu, [60:16]

  “You are not only unique, I think you’re a bloody miracle… It starts in here, not out there.”
  — Mel Robbins, [61:13]

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Important Timestamps & Segments

• Intro and Game Explanation: [01:00–04:34]
• Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson: [04:38]
• No Days Off: [05:57]
• Money: [07:40]
• Millennials: [10:31]
• The Five-Second Rule: [14:46]
• Kicks/Sneakers: [19:18]
• Suffering & Pain (David Goggins): [22:04]
• Psychedelics: [28:18]
• Motivation Is Garbage: [32:52]
• Artificial Intelligence: [36:42]
• Sex: [41:19]
• Haters: [43:19]
• The Matrix: [46:16]
• Cat Videos: [48:35]
• Social Media: [50:36]
• Genius: [55:46]

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Tone & Style

• Highly conversational, playful, and competitive
• Mix of serious motivational content and irreverent humor
• Real-world examples and heartfelt stories, contrasted by quick-witted, sometimes self-deprecating banter

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Closing Reflection

This episode is not just a debate but a deep dive into how entrepreneurial minds interrogate the most common motivational advice and cultural tropes. Mel and Tom’s rapport fuels insightful debates on what actually moves people forward, punctuated with humility, science, and authenticity. The repeated message: don’t accept any idea at face value—test it, challenge yourself, and ultimately, take action.

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Transcript

[Grainger Announcer]

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[Host]

You're listening to the Impact Theory podcast, your source of empowering ideas and actionable techniques from the world's highest achievers. Join host Tom Bilyeu, serial entrepreneur and co founder of the billion dollar brand Quest Nutrition, on a journey to unlock your potential and realize your vision of success. Welcome to Impact Theory. Welcome everyone to Motivation or Garbage, the soon to be viral hit show coming to you from the Impact Theory studios in Los Angeles. I'm your host, Agent Smith, and this is the show in which two players face off as we plumb the depths of the human experience by looking at phenomena around the world and asking one big important question. Motivation or Garbage.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Nice.

[Host]

Why do we do this? Because we have nothing better to do. And because we have. We and over 18 million other people on Facebook were inspired by a little clip called Motivation is Garbage which was taken from an episode of Impact Theory recorded in this very studio. And if you've seen that video, you'll certainly remember our contestants. So let's meet them now. Contestant number one inspires and educates large audiences the world over as a speaker, writer and commentator. She's the author of the books the Five Second Rule and Stop saying youg're Fine. A contributing editor for Success magazine, an Impact Theory alum, a footwear fashionista. Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome for Mel. Don't call me Motivational Robin.

[Commercial Voice]

Yes.

[Mel Robbins]

You're going down.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Wow, that escalated quickly.

[Host]

Contestant number two is a serial entrepreneur, the co founder of Quest Nutrition, and the former king of remedial jobs. He's a self described brain fanatic who hates working out even though he does it religiously. Ladies and gentlemen, the man who used to stand outside of Cheesecake Factory on Saturday mornings waiting for it to open, the White Rabbit himself. And your host of Impact theory, Tacoma's finest, Mr. Tom Bilyeu.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yeah. That was amazing.

[Mel Robbins]

That was the best intro I've ever heard.

[Tom Bilyeu]

That was pretty good.

[Host]

All right, one quick announcement.

[Mel Robbins]

The Taurus hates the hair though, so White Rabbit, you better watch out because the turtles.

[Host]

All right, easy, contestants. Mel will be doing a live cast with Success magazine from this studio in just a few hours, so be sure to check it out. She's going to show you how to build the life of your design and use the tools of confidence, courage and clarity to make it happen. Tune in at 5pm Pacific Daylight Time. Go to success.com impact we'll drop the link in the comments. All right, here's how to play the game. It's very simple. I'll present a topic and each contestant will hold up a card showing motivation or garbage. Then each player will follow up explaining their responses. Now, for those of you watching at home, you too can play along by sharing your answers to each question in the comments. We'll be giving away prizes along the way. Plus, if you write in your own topic that you want the contestants to respond to, put it in the comments and the one with the most likes by the end of the show will be chosen for the final question. And you will win our Grand Prize. Featuring 25 books from Tom's reading list, plus a signed copy of mel's smashbook, the Five Second Rule. Two impact theory T shirts, one for you and your boo, a 15 minute call with Tom Bilyeu and a one year audible subscription so you can level up your life. So get those creative juices flowing and start submitting your topics. Now, are the contestants ready?

[Mel Robbins]

I want to know what I win when I beat Tom.

[Host]

Well, we'll have a great prize ready for you.

[Tom Bilyeu]

All right then.

[Host]

All right, let's get started with our first topic. Dwayne the Rock Johnson. All right, contestants, get your get your cards ready.

[Mel Robbins]

Dwight, how do we do this?

[Host]

And on three, reveal your answer. Motivation. All right, we'll start with contestant number one, Mel Robbins. Why is the Rock motivating to you?

[Mel Robbins]

Well, if I have my facts straight, which is questionable, he was once homeless and he came from literally the bottom in terms of hitting rock bottom and clawed his way out and followed his passion. And I also love the fact that the Fast and Furious movie franchise was something that everybody kind of snubbed their nose at. And laughed at. And now they're laughing all the way to the bank by following their intuition. And I also love the fact that he's said, even though Tom doesn't wanna talk politics, he did float an idea out there that he might just run for president. Go, Rock. Motivation.

[Host]

I love it. Motivating. Tom, what do you think?

[Tom Bilyeu]

To me, anybody that can do what he's done to his physique is utterly astonishing. That kind of physical transformation comes with a mental transformation. So my boy for Swayze gets motivation.

[Host]

All right, two motivations for the rock. Let's go to our next.

[Tom Bilyeu]

And by the way, if he runs for president, I'll vote. No question.

[Host]

There we have it.

[Mel Robbins]

There we go.

[Host]

Let's go for the next topic, and it is the concept of no days off. All right, contestants, get your responses ready. All right. And, Tom, let's start with you on this one. He's giving him motivation. Yeah.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Is it true that you need days off? Yes, occasionally. But to make it something that you celebrate, I think is a mistake. I think people should be going literally as hard as they can. Trust yourself. If you're screaming for a day off, take one. But as, like, a standing thing, I think it's okay not to.

[Host]

All right.

[Tom Bilyeu]

And it's inspiring, in fact.

[Host]

All right.

[Mel Robbins]

I think it's insanity. The science is against it, and it's complete and utter garbage. I was just with Brendan Burchard, and the guy said on stage that he takes 17 weeks off a year. And it was the first time in a while that I've been really jealous of a dude. And I thought, there is something wrong here because I have been working too hard. I'm running two companies, and I got three. My husband and I have three kids. And one of the things that has really struck me as an entrepreneur is that without the downtime, without the ability to take a day off from the grind, the push, the stress, the move, the push, the build, the drive, you do not have the ability to reset your brain. You don't have the ability to do the productive kind of procrastination on ideas that you're noodling. And so I think it's really critical for your success to be intentional. Intentional about taking time off, whatever that means for you. I've actually wiped out the whole summer. I'm doing four speeches this summer. That's it. Because I haven't had the ability to focus on creative projects because I have no time off. So I think it's complete garbage. Complete.

[Tom Bilyeu]

There you go.

[Host]

Difference of opinion. All right. Let's move on to our third topic. Money. Contestants, get your responses ready. And what do we got? Two motivating answers. Let's start with Mel.

[Mel Robbins]

Yeah, I'm just really motivated by money. Not that that's the number one driver, but it's such a fun game. And to me, I just have a lot of fun making a lot of money. However, all of the research shows that most of us are not intrinsically motivated by money. That's really not the reason why I do what I do. I do what I do because I love connecting with. I love the moment that people have an awakening. But the idea that I can make money, lots of money, doing the things that I love and provide for my family, that is so motivating to me. But if I hated what I was doing, money alone wouldn't be a motivator. But yes, very motivating.

[Host]

That's a great answer. Tom, what do you think?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Pretty famously chased money for a long time only to come up emotionally empty. So I can say, having been on both sides of the equation, that people will forever chase money because money is real. Once you understand what you want to do with the money, it's no longer just an inert lump of cash, which can do about one thing, and that's release heat energy, which, if you light it on fire, will keep you nice and warm. But really, truly, the things that the grandest things that we're going to do as a society or even as an individual are going to need resources. So you're either going to be asking for them from somebody else or you're going to be accumulating those resources yourself. But at the end of the day, you need that. And if you've read the book the Rational Optimist by Matt Ridley, he talks about specialization and how basically society is ever going to move forward towards specializing. And once you specialize, you need some sort of economic vehicle to make that happen. We're not trading seashells. The thing that we've decided to trade is money. So there is tremendous, tremendous power to money because of its ability to facilitate. So I think when people lament the emptiness of money is because they don't know what they're trying to do with it.

[Mel Robbins]

I'm shocked that you said this.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Really?

[Mel Robbins]

Well, I'm shocked because I've heard you say that. I can't remember the exact sentence that you say, but I've seen you say it online. I've seen you say it on a stage. And it was something about the fact that money isn't what's important to you. And so I find it really interesting. Maybe it was when I don't remember the exact part of the story, but I'm very surprised to hear you say that. It's motivation. I expected you to say it's complete and utter garbage. Because I also know you're the kind of guy that is truly following your heart and throwing your hat over the ring. So, anyway, just got to throw that out there.

[Host]

Yeah, I love it. Let's move on to our four.

[Mel Robbins]

How are we scoring this, by the way?

[Host]

The points are made up, the rules don't matter. Nice. Yeah. There we have it.

[Mel Robbins]

Okay, we got some applause.

[Host]

Welcome, everyone. All right, number four. Millennials. Millennials. Give you a second to think about it. And answers. All right. Oh, we have a split decision here. Well, let's start with Tom, and then we'll get to you, Mel.

[Tom Bilyeu]

At the end of the day, it's a large group of people, and anytime you're getting a large group of people together, you can count me in. There's going to be an endless number of fascinating people I don't like. I am of the Goggins philosophy of toughen the fuck up, buttercup. Like that. At the end of the day, like, that's where I'm at.

[Mel Robbins]

What is that from? What is Goggins?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Goggins.

[Mel Robbins]

What is that? I don't know what that is. What is Goggins?

[Host]

I'll allow a brief tangent here.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Nice. Goggins was our most recent episode of Impact Theory just dropped yesterday, in fact, today. Today.

[Mel Robbins]

See, now I have. I was on a plane, so I'm sorry, they didn't have.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Totally gonna pass. But he's a Navy seals from the book Living with a seal. He is unbelievable. This guy is. Is literally like my hero. I want to be this guy when I grow up. He's absolutely.

[Mel Robbins]

Please don't, because we need you tomorrow. We need you to be you.

[Tom Bilyeu]

If I could be Goggins at least briefly, that would be deeply emotionally satisfying. So, anyway, he is looking for people to really step up and toughen up. And I think I'm a huge, huge, huge proponent of that. Having said that, having worked with as many millennials as I have, like anything, there's just an incredible number of awesome people in there. So, yeah, as any huge swath of people get my thumbs up.

[Mel Robbins]

Well, I kind of had a split decision because on one hand, there are aspects to the way that millennials get typecast that I find really exciting as an entrepreneur and the ability to really figure things out professional Googlers, super tech savvy in a good way, being self driven and understanding the importance that an individual can make and an opinion that you can have. And that's something that a lot of generations. It wasn't instilled in us because we were raised with social media. And so at the age of 18, I didn't have a platform to broadcast myself unless I was standing on a table drunk at Dartmouth, screaming, you know, something like that, or arguing with my mother at the kitchen table. So there's psychological shift that I really love. The reason why I said garbage, though, is because I'm torn, because I think whenever you take a large group of people, like Tom was saying, and you typecast them, and now you got all these people going out into the workforce saying, oh, I'm going to tell you how to talk to millennials. And, and I think human beings at the end of the day are human beings. And maybe some of the characteristics that millennials get trashed for, whether it's the self centeredness or the inability to be managed or thinking you're going to be CEO the second you graduate from college, those things tend to get magnified as general. General? Is that even a word you don't know? Thank you. And so I hate that aspect because what we're seeing in millennials is that they've just given themselves permission to really bring the things that we all want, which is recognition and feeling a sense of importance and wanting to make a contribution. They've been raised in a environment where that has been brought to the surface. And for your elders, like myself, I'm not going to necessarily yank you into this because you look like you're 30, but I was not raised that way. And so it was a learned skill. So I don't like typecasting everybody, but there's attributes that millennials have that I love. So I don't know. Now you know what it's like to be almost 50 and menopausal. Completely confusing.

[Host]

All right, great answer.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Never know what it's like to be menopausal, but I appreciate that.

[Host]

All right, let's move on to our next topic. For this one, we're going to be giving away a copy of the 5 second rule Mel Robbins book. So if you participate and put your answer in the comments, we will choose a winner at the end. So, contestants, your answers. And.

[Mel Robbins]

Oh, is that. That's the thing. It's garbage, man. This was a complete gimmick that I created in order to try to get rich, because I'm Motivated by money.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Smart.

[Mel Robbins]

That's what that is.

[Tom Bilyeu]

All right, It's a good strategy. How'd it work?

[Mel Robbins]

It's been fantastic, actually. It's been really incredible. I mean, just because of the difference that it's making for people, it's been beyond my wildest dreams, frankly. Really cool.

[Host]

Excellent. Tom, what do you think?

[Tom Bilyeu]

I'll be really honest. When I first heard the idea, I didn't think it was like a get rich quick scheme, but it did seem too easy. And I was like, oh, God. When they were pitching you, I was like, is it really, like, enough meat on that bone? The response that we've gotten from people who are like, this has changed my life. It's just undeniable. Like, people can say whatever they want, but we alone have had hundreds and hundreds of comments of people saying, like, this changed my life.

[Mel Robbins]

It's crazy, you know, and that was a joke, obviously, what I was saying. But so the hardest thing for me, because like you, I'm so interested in science. And as much as I joke around, I'm also a nerdy kind of serious person. So when I came up with a concept that's so stupid sounding, it was a little weird to talk about it because I'm basically saying you can change your life in five seconds. No, really. And no, it's not the same as just do it. It's actually a tool and there's science behind it. So on its face, it sounds like the dumbest concept in the world. But when you get somebody to try it and they instantly start breaking the habit of procrastination, it's just like motivation or anything. You're on a fast right now and so you could tell somebody, go on, is it keto? Is that how you say that? Keto?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Keto.

[Mel Robbins]

Keto. Is that how you say it?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Keto? Yeah. Keto diet.

[Mel Robbins]

Yes. I don't know what the keto diet is, but I know that you're on it right now. And I saw that you were eating some sort of. The. How do you say that shaved lamb stuff that you're eating. That was not. That was technically a cheat, by the way.

[Tom Bilyeu]

I didn't eat.

[Mel Robbins]

You didn't eat that.

[Tom Bilyeu]

So that was going into the. The. The fasting period. So during a fast is water only. But you're.

[Mel Robbins]

So you're in water only.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Water only.

[Mel Robbins]

I better win because you're basically delusional at the moment, right? So when you give somebody a formula to follow, even if it sounds simple, like, yeah, go on a fast, it'll cleanse your body, you'll be like, yeah, that sounds whatever. You actually implement something that sounds simple. You realize that, holy cow, these simple concepts work. They really do. We overcomplicate everything. Meditation, another. Another practice that you have that you're adamant about. It's really simple. Most people don't do it, but it really works. And I think that some of the most powerful things in life are the simplest things. I mean, I think we all know that if we were just a little bit more kind to people, particularly our spouses, your marriage would be better. I think we know that the more you cheer for people, you. You 100% like, that's the only management philosophy you need. Cheer for people. That's it. Assume good attention. That's all you need to know. And if you put that simple idea into practice, yeah, lots of Harvard scientists will write about why, and there'll be bestsellers that are written about it. But it does come down to the smallest stuff that we don't do. And so this is one of these ideas that making five second decisions, I think we all know we overthink. And I think we all know that we have these moments of intense wisdom, and yet within five seconds flat, our minds talk us out of it. And so I'm trying, I'm desperately trying to teach as many people as possible that every single change comes down to a five second decision and that you can change everything. And that as resigned as you are, or as defeated as you are, or as tired as you are, the answer really is, do what you say you're gonna do. If your wisdom speaks and you start to talk, just 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. And push yourself. If you can find power in that tiny moment, you will win every single time. And slowly your life will start to change.

[Host]

Nice.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Well said.

[Host]

There it is.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Well earned applause.

[Host]

Go check out the book. And do we have a winner from the comments, anyone? Judges?

[Mel Robbins]

We do have a winner. That would be Santa.

[Host]

That is stupid.

[Mel Robbins]

Sandra, I'll sign that book for you.

[Host]

Sandra, you've won a copy of the 5 second rule. Congratulations. Let's keep it going here.

[Mel Robbins]

Oh, my God. We got more.

[Host]

We got more.

[Mel Robbins]

Awesome.

[Host]

You have lore number six, kicks.

[Mel Robbins]

And I did not wear mine today.

[Host]

All right, contestants, what do we got here? What are our answers? Motivation.

[Mel Robbins]

We're two alike.

[Host]

Tom, tell us about kicks.

[Tom Bilyeu]

To me, it's a nice, simple question of personal expression. And I actually really get into collecting, which is probably bad, but from comic books to kicks, I really enjoy that process. So, yeah, finding some cool kicks and having Something to set your sights on and go for it.

[Mel Robbins]

It's motivating to me. And both Tom and I share an affinity for shoes. We have different tastes in shoes. I haven't seen you in glitter ones yet, but you have worn some. Some with spikes. You have worn some with spikes. What's interesting as a woman is that when you take ownership over kind of how you want to present yourself, that is motivating and powerful and you demonstrate something. And one of the interesting things about just the fact that I tend to wear a lot of high tops on stage, nine times out of 10. Nine times out of 10, when somebody says something nasty, it's usually somebody complaining about the sneakers.

[Host]

Really?

[Mel Robbins]

Yes. That a woman shouldn't dress like that. And so I find it very motivating to make personal choices about how you want to present yourself so that it demonstrates who you are. And for me, that's about authenticity, approachability, a sense of fun, and, you know, that kind of thing. And so a surprise. And so that it's really interesting. It never fails. Never fails at all.

[Tom Bilyeu]

I'm shocked by that.

[Commercial Voice]

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[Grainger Announcer]

When you manage procurement for multiple facilities, every order matters. But when it's for a hospital system, they matter even more. Grainger gets it and knows there's no time for managing multiple suppliers and no room for shipping delays. That's why Grainger offers millions of products in fast, dependable delivery, so you can keep your facility stocked, safe, and running smoothly. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click granger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.

[Host]

That's great. All right, let's move on to our woman.

[Mel Robbins]

Again, none of the women here are shocked by that.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yes, it's madness.

[Host]

Let's move on to our next topic, suffering and pain, with.

[Tom Bilyeu]

By the way, that's David Goggins.

[Host]

Image of David Goggins. All right.

[Mel Robbins]

Really?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Legend?

[Mel Robbins]

How old is he?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Dark ends? I'm going to guess mid-40s. Sounds about right.

[Host]

All right, contestants, what do we got here? Suffering and pain? Motivating or garbage?

[Tom Bilyeu]

I don't know.

[Host]

Where the strong response from Tom Bilyeu.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Huge.

[Mel Robbins]

I think I have to just go and not do the same this year.

[Host]

All right, Mel, let's have you started off. Why is suffering and pain garbage?

[Mel Robbins]

Because we spend too much time there. Too many of us have a habit of dwelling in self inflicted suffering and it is garbage. You don't have to.

[Host]

All right, great. Tom, what do you think?

[Tom Bilyeu]

I think that you only meet yourself in suffering. And while I understand what you're saying about the way that people get themselves in a twist mentally, and that's super counterproductive, I think we spend our entire lives moving away from suffering. And once you're able to put yourself into self inflicted suffering, like a fast, you really. Or working out or running, doing a fucking marathon, like whatever it is. Like in those moments you really realize who you are and you realize how close your boundaries and your limitations and where you tap out are. Like, I can't tell you the number of people that like started the fast until they got hungry and then they're like, you know, back channeling dming me. Like, what do I do to actually get to the other side? And the answer is not tolerate that shit from yourself. Like literally not tolerate it. And that's the answer to have a hard, fast, bright line about who you are, what you're willing to tolerate from yourself. But you don't know. That's easy to say until you have to put it to the test. And then it's like, who are you really? That's suffering, baby.

[Mel Robbins]

Well, see, I think there's a difference that. See, you're in the goggins high right now. Plus you haven't eaten in two days.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Am I not like this all the time, though? Like this?

[Mel Robbins]

You are pretty intense. That is true. That is true. But, but so there. But see, I think you're talking about intentional suffering versus the unintentional self imposed.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Well, now let's. Yes, if you want to get really

[Mel Robbins]

complicated, let's take when you were obese. Okay, so what category was that in?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Well, so now, like, oh God, I'd never call myself truly obese because I think that's unfair to make it seem like I've clawed my way back from that deficit. Many, many people have struggled way more.

[Mel Robbins]

How heavy were you? We'll decide if you're obese. Okay, maybe not.

[Host]

Yeah, you're kind of tough.

[Tom Bilyeu]

No, I've. Trust me, I've seen obese. And sadly, it is almost sad for me that I've never been obese just so that I Could prove to my. So I could prove that is the

[Mel Robbins]

clip that will go viral, right?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Well, are you ready for the clip that's going to go viral? I wish that I'd been addicted to heroin because then people would see, like if. If it wasn't super dangerous and really stupid, I would get addicted to heroin just so I could get back off of it.

[Host]

You hit your hair first.

[Mel Robbins]

Like you would actually try heroin if

[Tom Bilyeu]

it wasn't insanely stupid? Yes, but I recognize how stupid that is, which is why I'm not going to do it. But in terms of giving yourself something like a fast something to prove your level of discipline. Yeah, it would be pretty amazing. It would be stupid. I'm not gonna do it. Don't panic.

[Mel Robbins]

So this reminds me of like a David Blaine. Is that his name Moment?

[Host]

Yes.

[Tom Bilyeu]

And what do you think?

[Mel Robbins]

You know, like an extreme stage motivation or garbage motivation.

[Tom Bilyeu]

100% right?

[Mel Robbins]

Yes. Because the guy is like coming up with these problems to solve. Like, could I possibly be submerged in ice for 25 hours and still survive?

[Tom Bilyeu]

That's amazing.

[Mel Robbins]

Your wife's going to come running in here in a minute and shut this down if I keep pushing the heroin thing. But seriously, like, do you think that. If you think that you could beat an addiction like that?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yes, of course.

[Mel Robbins]

Really?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Of course. It's been done, right? So other people have beat.

[Mel Robbins]

It's true.

[Tom Bilyeu]

But I'm just wise enough to recognize how stupid that would be and the. The devastating physical, emotional and lifestyle effects that it would have. So would I ever really do it? No, of course not. Because that would be fucking absurd. But could I do it? Yes, of course.

[Mel Robbins]

See, I don't think I could do it. I guess the reason why is because I. Maybe I could. I. I've met too many people that are struggling with the opioid addiction that turned into a heroin addiction and have read too many studies about the fact that those drugs completely change your neural pathways and so you're haunted for the rest of your life with that trigger. So it would be a lifetime of self discipline. I mean, I have a hard enough time truly walking past the booze between 5 and 8 o' clock at night when I say to myself, I'm not gonna drink tonight. And I don't drink. But it is a haunting for three hours straight. And so to sign up for a lifetime where I would be like that 24 hours, oh my God. I think I could do it, but I wouldn't wanna try. That's an interesting question. You're the kind of Guy that I could see doing something like that. Like being that. I'm not saying that you should, but I. I really like. You're the kind of guy that is you. You want to inspire people and you want to teach people. And unfortunately, in today's world, most people only pay attention when it's extreme.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Here's the great news. Tell me that doesn't hold interest for me. I would never do this for anyone else ever, under any circumstance. Like that would really be retarded. So do I like that the things that I've learned are useful to other people? Yes. But I don't consider myself a teacher.

[Mel Robbins]

You don't?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Nope.

[Mel Robbins]

Next. It's a mobile device. What does that mean?

[Host]

Some technical difficulties. Bear with us, folks.

[Mel Robbins]

Oh, that's all right. I thought we were having a call in show. All of a sudden I'm like, we're back to our radio days. Come on, let's go. That's going to be. The next thing is to let people call into these.

[Tom Bilyeu]

That would be.

[Mel Robbins]

That's an interesting. That was just. Sorry, I've never. That's an interesting question. I bet somebody's done it. I bet somebody has gotten addicted to some type of drug in order to show people that you can get off it.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Be crazy, but impressive.

[Mel Robbins]

It would be totally crazy.

[Host]

Well, I think that leads into our next topic, which is an interesting one. Psychedelics.

[Mel Robbins]

Oh.

[Host]

Oh. Motivating or garbage?

[Tom Bilyeu]

All right,

[Host]

we have Tom's response. Mel?

[Mel Robbins]

I'm not sure. Well, I don't really like them.

[Host]

Okay, two garbage responses. We'll start with Tom.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Since it was very hard, I don't have the courage to find out if it's motivating. So that's the truth. Because I've never done it, I don't feel I have the right to say that it's motivating. It might be amazing, it might be transformative, life altering. But I'm too big of a chicken to find out.

[Mel Robbins]

So he's definitely not doing heroin. Other words, if you can't take shrooms, then you definitely are not doing heroin.

[Commercial Voice]

No.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Let there be maximum clarity. I'm never actually going to get addicted to it.

[Mel Robbins]

Because you don't like to. To lose control. See, the thing about psychedelics is that that's for somebody that wants an experience where they want to go out of control.

[Tom Bilyeu]

I'm not worried about losing control. That's not what freaks me out. What freaks me out is permanent brain damage. 100%. I'm so brain protective. I'm never going to hit A soccer ball. I'm never going to do kickboxing, match, like anything that has potential brain trauma at the end of it. Nope.

[Mel Robbins]

Why?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Because there's two things that once they happen, I can't retrograde. The loss of my wife and brain damage. You can take money, lose a. This, all of that, whatever, it doesn't matter. You can build your way back. Brain damage, that's it.

[Host]

Done.

[Mel Robbins]

Yeah, it's true. I remember my dad had. My dad, they found a. What's it called? An aneurysm that hadn't blown up yet. And they found it just Ansler. He had collapsed on a golf course. He thought he had vertigo. They did one of these scans, and they're like, oh, no, vertigo. But guess what? You have an aneurysm. And we got to take it out. Wow. And I remember asking him, because he's a document. He said, this was one of these five second moments. I called him, or he called me to tell me that this whole thing was going down. And I remember being on the phone with him, and he was explaining that he was going to go have surgery at the University of Michigan, and they were going to cut his head open and pull off the top and do all this stuff to try to get to this aneurysm. And I had this feeling rise up where I thought, I wonder if he's scared. And then I immediately. My mind started saying, don't get him upset. Like, you don't want that thing to blow. Like, don't be the reason. Don't ask him a question. That. And that's immediately what I thought. Like, you could make this aneurysm rupture if you get him upset. And I went, you know what? 5432. And I said, dad, are you scared? And he said, you know, Mel, he said, I've had a really incredible life. He said, I grew up. I got to do what I never thought I'd do. Do. I became a doctor. I married your mom. We've been together for 50 years. You and your brother turned out. He said, I've really gotten to do what I've wanted to do with my life. And he said, the only thing that you could ever ask for is more time. And he said, you know, watching my dad have a stroke and see him so debilitated, and then caring for our best friend Susie, who died of als. He said, I would never, ever want to live in that state. And so am I scared? No. He said, I'm really lucky. I'm lucky that we found it. I'm lucky that we have a chance to fix it, and I'm lucky that something didn't happen that completely debilitated me. I'll tell you. It was one of the most intimate conversations I had ever had with my father. I almost didn't ask the question because I was afraid of upsetting him. I was afraid of the intimacy, as so many of us are, of asking, like, the scary questions, upsetting somebody. And I learned a lot about him, and that's exactly what his hero is, the same as yours. And the surgery went fine, and he's doing great. But I think it's important to know who you are and what you want.

[Host]

Malfunction. Lovely response. Would you like to expand on anything with psychedelics?

[Mel Robbins]

Well, like, Tom, I've experimented. I'm not going to give you the long laundry list, but I didn't like them. Like, at the end of the day, through all the experimenting, I really, at the end of the day, don't like feeling out of control. And so the wave that hits you, if you take a psychedelic drug, that would create a majorly stressful, unhappy situation for me at this moment. So I think they're complete garbage. But for those of you that love to be completely out of control and out of your mind, they're probably very motivating. There you go.

[Host]

For our next topic, we're going to be giving away another prize. All right. The motivation is garbage.

[Mel Robbins]

Cliff, what is that?

[Host]

Probably seen, we're gonna give away this shirt, our do shirt, in the impact theory store, because if you've seen the clip, you know motivation is garbage, and you just need to take action. So let's hear from our contestants.

[Tom Bilyeu]

There it is. There it is. Nice and easy.

[Host]

Tom, we'll start with you.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Is motivation garbage? No, I get how it's meant, and it winds me up to no end. In fact, where's my A camera? Will somebody. Are you my A camera? All right, let me just say this right now. If you have any intention of going to that clip and leaving a comment about how you're actually motivated and this woman is dumb because she's saying motivation is garbage, that is to totally look at the world from, how can I shut things off? How can I close my mind? How can I not be open to a piece of information? Because the clip is amazing. It's resonated with a lot of people. Motivation will let you down at the most inopportune moments. And so to not look past, like, just the binary statement of motivation is garbage, which obviously she's Saying to make a point, to get people's attention, to not look past that to the message that she's trying to convey. It winds me up. When I get those comments, I want to just crawl through the computer screen.

[Mel Robbins]

You do?

[Host]

Oh, I laugh.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yeah, I laugh.

[Mel Robbins]

Because you're a sucker. You fell for a headline. And you know what else we know. I know. Anyways, you probably didn't even watch the clip. You just sounded off in the comments. And if you're somebody that does that, you are robbing yourself because you're not actually trying to learn anything. The point of that clip is to make you understand that the major mistake that everybody makes is waiting. Waiting to fucking feel like it. Waiting for somebody to pick you, waiting for the right time, waiting for you to feel motivated. It's not coming for the big stuff, for the hard stuff. It requires a push. Always has, always will. Nobody is coming to save your ass. It is up to you. And so if you want to change anything about your life, stop sitting around and wasting your goddamn life and start pushing yourself. Whether it's a fast or it is starting a business, or it is changing how you talk to your spouse, or it's changing the kind of parent that you are changing. You got one life and all you need to do is turn on the fricking news and see the kind of shit that's going on in this world. It's both amazing and terrifying. You never know when your time is up. But I do know that you've got time right now to change things. And so the thing you should change is you should take 100% responsibility for your future. You should decide what is it that you really want your life to look like because you only get one of them. And it's not going to start again. But you could start building your future right now. And that begins the moment that you realize that you're never going to feel like doing the things that are hard. You're never going to feel like stepping out of your comfort zone. And the second that you do, the second that you push through, you win. You win because you see yourself becoming the kind of person who takes action. You see yourself believing in your ideas. You see yourself disregarding your own excuses. That is the source of confidence. It's the willingness to try. It doesn't start with belief. It starts with the push. So do yourself a freaking favor and stop thinking about all this stuff and stop commenting and push yourself. Do something. Who's gonna win the shirt?

[Tom Bilyeu]

I think. Well, I guess the shirt is going to Win.

[Host]

There it is. We have a winner.

[Mel Robbins]

Amy B.

[Host]

On Facebook, you just won yourself a do shirt.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Oh, yeah.

[Host]

And dear audience, aren't you glad you tuned in today because this is some powerful stuff. All right, now let's get a time check from our judges. Can we keep going? We have several more topics.

[Mel Robbins]

Awesome.

[Host]

Okay, let's keep going. Next topic, artificial intelligence.

[Mel Robbins]

Where's the one that says terrifying? I'm going to do this one because it's scares the hell out of me. So artificial intelligence is obviously. So there's an incredible TED Talk, I'm sure you've already seen it, about the biologist from Harvard who talked. He just gave a talk in Vancouver where he wrote a letter to a young scientist. And it's all the things that he wants scientists to understand. And one of the things that he talks about in this particular TED Talk is the fact that the pace of technology and you talk about this all the time is eclipsing our ability to keep up with it, that we cannot right now even predict what the technology will be like 10 years from now. Artificial intelligence is going to be the thing that changes the next 10 years of our lives. When you think about just the technology of talking to Siri or the augmented reality of what they just released on Instagram or what they've had on Snapchat, or you think about the learning intelligence of these apps that we have that start to serve up things to you, this is only going to get exponentially more significant in terms of your day to day life. That's gonna have profound changes for jobs, for how people behave, for what's required of you, how much you're relying on machines. And so it scares me because I don't know what's coming and I don't know. I mean, I know Elon Musk is worried enough about it that he's starting to dig into the ethics behind it. But it's exciting because it makes life easier and it's exciting because it will help doctors diagnose you. Because artificial intelligence can crunch 50,000 records at once and then using predictive modeling and the Watson technology to IBM help with the diagnosing of your particular cancer, which is amazing. But there are implications that I can't even wrap my brain around in terms of humanity and ethics. And that scares the hell out of me.

[Host]

Fair enough.

[Tom Bilyeu]

I think a lot of people live there. I think a lot of people, if they can't understand it, then there's an automatic bias to the negative that people to. I mean, just think about it from an Algorithmic perspective as a human being to make sure that that thing rustling in the bush isn't a lion instead of someone that you love and care about very much, we immediately go to negative assumptions. But for anybody who's read Michio Kaku's book on basically what the future looks like, and he talks about the different classifications of societies and I forget, it's like a level 5 society can harness the power of a star. That's where it starts to get interesting. And I'm telling people, look beyond like, yes, it's going to cure illnesses, yes, it's going to do a lot of amazing things. Yes, it's going to change jobs. But it's like look beyond that to when as a species we're able to fully transcend biology. Live forever. Oh my God, yes, it's.

[Mel Robbins]

What do you want to do?

[Tom Bilyeu]

100% you do. Anybody who says that they don't live forever, I don't. That's total. That's crazy talk because all you've ever known is life.

[Mel Robbins]

Well, I'm also going to be trapped. Like by the time they figure that out, I'm going to be 80. So I'm going to be in the diaper and like everybody else is going to be, have a party for a lifetime.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Let me enlighten you to the future that's coming. So first of all, every year that you live, your life's going to be getting better.

[Mel Robbins]

So let me just say one thing. You're talking to a person that can hardly believe that a Ford Focus can self park. I see these commercials. So like where you're going with all of this? Okay, so tell me what's coming.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yeah, so every year it's going to get a little bit better. So by the time you're, I mean

[Mel Robbins]

you're talking, what does better mean? Meaning like the Botox is better. So I don't really.

[Tom Bilyeu]

You won't even have to think about Botox because first of all, with a skin gun you'd literally be able to do a facial peel. And it can determine how deep to go because each layer of the skin does different things and they'll be able to 3D print the skin on you. This stuff is amazing. The world is only going to get better, my friends. Technology is a one way street towards hope and prosperity. So if I can just balance people

[Mel Robbins]

out, you're going to go in and into like some sort of tube and step out as Gagan Gegen, Gagan Goggins. Goggin, goggin, goggin, whatever. The hell his name is. Yes.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Not quite quite, but I like reading.

[Mel Robbins]

That'll be like Freaky Friday, only, you know, with you and Gagan go.

[Tom Bilyeu]

I am. Hopefully not.

[Host]

I think it's time to move on to our next topic. All right. Yeah, I. This one's going off the rails. All right, next topic.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Whoa.

[Host]

Sex.

[Tom Bilyeu]

I didn't see that coming.

[Host]

This is not a family show, ladies and gentlemen.

[Commercial Voice]

Yeah.

[Host]

All right, Mel, we'll start with you.

[Mel Robbins]

It's amazing. It gets better. Especially it gets better. I. Well, having been married now, I'm having a hot flash. Having been married for 20 years, one would think that it would suck to only have sex with one person for the rest of your life, but it's actually pretty incredible. And it gets better all the time.

[Host]

All right, great answer, Tom.

[Mel Robbins]

And it's work. It's not natural to be monogamous. You gotta want it. You gotta be committed to it. You gotta, like, be intentional about it. But it's amazing.

[Host]

Great. Nice. A vacation rental shouldn't come with surprises.

[Mel Robbins]

It should come with verbo Care and 24.

[Host]

7 Life Support. If the hot tub's broken, that's a verbo care thing.

[Mel Robbins]

If my teenager starts calling me Leslie,

[Tom Bilyeu]

that's a family thing.

[Host]

Leslie. Verbo Care and 24. 7 Life Support. If you know you Verbo terms apply. See verbo.comtrust for details.

[Commercial Voice]

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[Tom Bilyeu]

I'll just take it. From a neurochemistry standpoint, it is amazing. The rush from Vasopressin, which makes you feel connected and pair bonding and trust and all of that wonderful stuff to just the physical sensation, which is utterly astonishing. So it is nature's greatest high.

[Mel Robbins]

You should try it in psychedelics.

[Tom Bilyeu]

I don't know. I've been told it's not that great, but.

[Mel Robbins]

I'm just kidding.

[Host]

All right.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Hey, you guys pick the topic.

[Host]

Next topic. I love it. Next topic. Haters.

[Mel Robbins]

I was told the only thing we wouldn't talk is politics.

[Host]

Okay, haters, what do we got? Tom, why are haters motivating?

[Tom Bilyeu]

It's my 8020 rule. So 80% of the time you should spend it in looking at the things that are beautiful, the people that support you, all that good stuff. But 20% of the time, knowing that people out there want you to fail is actually incredibly potent for me. Like the moments where it's hardest, the moments where I'm in real pain, those are the times where only the darkness will do. And focusing on the beautiful things that I'm trying to create is just not enough for me. At those moments, I really do need to know that somebody wants me to fail. They want to drag me down so that I can push back against it.

[Mel Robbins]

All right, well, I find haters really motivating and I put them in a couple categories I'd put like, there's a whole, especially when, when you're in a kind of a public job, whether you're on television or you put stuff out online, there's a lot of trolls out there. So there's a lot of nasty people that are probably living in their parents basement that have nothing better to do than just sling garbage online. So those folks I don't find motivating, I find them kind of sad. But the true haters, the people that engage you intellectually that don't like your ideas, that you say something and it triggers something, I find that so motivating because if you trigger somebody else, there's a kernel of truth to what you said because most of us don't care about the things that don't matter to us. You know, you could call me a lousy parent and I would be nonplussed at all because I don't believe that. But if you, you know, I don't even know what you could say that would rattle me at this point. But if you, when you have somebody that really engages you with your ideas, it shows me and is very motivating because I'm reaching people. I've got ideas that are provocative. You don't want to just listen to people that say the same old shit that you believe otherwise you're not going to grow. When somebody says something, whether it's Tom that says something about us living forever, that pisses me off and scares me. There's that moment where I hate him and then there's that moment of expansion where I stop and consider, wow, what if he's right? And so I think it's a natural part of the process of growing. And when you get that kind of pushback, particularly when somebody engages you intellectually as a hater, what that tells me is they're at step one of changing their own opinion. Now, they might never come Fully to your side, but you've made them stop and consider and react. You've interrupted the autopilot. And that's really cool. Now, I also love when you do things that people agree with and they're inspired by and they are empowered by, so that the response is more positive. I certainly prefer that, but I don't necessarily see the haters as negative. I see it motivating.

[Host]

Both great answers. I will award you each 1,000 points.

[Mel Robbins]

Wow.

[Host]

First points of the game. Just made them up right now. All right, next topic, the Matrix. All right, wait. We're giving away a shot shirt, Impact theory shirt for this one. So be sure to put your answers in the comments and you can win. Tom, we'll of course start with you because we know this is near and dear to your heart.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yeah, I mean, this movie is, to me, the perfect metaphor for what it means to be a human. So the Matrix is the mind. You have all these limiting beliefs that either you've adopted yourself or been handed to by society and the people that you love and care about you and all that. And once you can get past those, shock them off, then you see the way the world really works, and then you can do just a lot more. More than you probably ever thought possible.

[Host]

All right, great. Mel, your response?

[Mel Robbins]

Well, I'm just going to say garbage because I like it. Didn't you say it was a documentary?

[Tom Bilyeu]

Well, that's a shirt.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Mel Robbins]

Yeah, that's what I thought. I saw you wearing a shirt that said the Matrix has a documentary.

[Host]

Very true.

[Mel Robbins]

I honestly, I saw the Matrix so long ago that I can't really remember all that much. And if I had to be told, asked on the spot, what's the difference between the red and the blue pill? I wouldn't know. Uh. Oh, yes.

[Host]

So not allowed to say that I'm

[Mel Robbins]

off the set right now. I feel like I need to rewatch the movie the next time I see you, so I can actually talk turkey with you.

[Tom Bilyeu]

It is a great movie, but certainly don't mind that most people probably don't remember it the way that I do.

[Host]

So we'll have to hold a screening, I think.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yes.

[Host]

Invite all friends and family. Okay.

[Mel Robbins]

Oh, my gosh. You know what? The next time we do a show together, can we do a screening of the Matrix where you see Tom's head in the background of the front row? You know, like that show where they

[Tom Bilyeu]

have that Mystery Science Theater.

[Mel Robbins]

Yes, do Mystery Science Theater with that and you do the commentary.

[Tom Bilyeu]

That would be fun.

[Host]

Yeah, let's do that. All right, we have a winner. Who got the Impact Theory T shirt? Jessica T. Jessica T. Congratulations. You just won the shirt. Thanks for playing. Next topic. Cat videos. Motivation or garbage? Tom's gonna say garbage. And Mel. Motivation. Mel Wire cat videos. Motivation.

[Mel Robbins]

Well, I just find them really funny. And if you intentionally watch them, as long as you're doing it on purpose, not for procrastination, I just find them motivating because they get a short burst of dopamine. I laugh. It makes me love my cat a little bit more. Not gonna lie, I do have a dog too. But anyway, I don't know, I think they're kind of fun. All right, little break.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Motivating, Tom, Cats are like inviting an animal into your house that does not care about your well being at all. Like, I literally do not understand people that have cats. That is some madness.

[Host]

But what about cat videos?

[Mel Robbins]

We can talk cats. That's okay.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Cat videos. Waste of time. Mildly amusing at best. I literally can't believe that cats have taken over the Internet. Like, that's crazy town to me. But so yeah.

[Mel Robbins]

Cause they're more intelligent than dogs. That's.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Why is that? Because I like to think with intelligence comes compassion. And one thing that cats lack is some compassion.

[Mel Robbins]

There's nothing that's not intelligent. See, dogs are just. I have an Australian shepherd too, so I am a very smart dog. He gives less shits about me than the cat. Let's put it that way. We have a Maine coon cat, a rescue cat, who I think is so happy that somebody rescued him from the cage that he's not going anywhere. I don't know. I guess I just feel like dogs are happy and lovely and loyal and always there with you. But cats have a personality. I got to respect that. I respect the fact that they get angry at you. I respect the fact that they're like, just because I am feline and I am of the animal world does not mean you get to treat me like that. Wow. Yes.

[Tom Bilyeu]

That was good.

[Mel Robbins]

Yes. Thank you. I made that up.

[Tom Bilyeu]

I like that.

[Host]

All right, before we go to our next topic, I want to remind everyone that you can win our grand prize by suggesting a topic for our contestants to answer. It's going to be our final category. You can win 25 books off of Tom Bilyeu's reading list. 5 second rule, signed copy from Mel Robbins. 2 impact theory T shirts, an audible subscription. It's huge. Put your comments in. Now the most liked comment will win. So let's go to our penultimate category.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Wow.

[Host]

Social Media.

[Mel Robbins]

Oh, God, that's a hard one.

[Host]

Mel, your response?

[Mel Robbins]

Oh, I feel like I'm so wishy washy on all of these things.

[Host]

That's. Okay.

[Mel Robbins]

Well, I'm very conflicted about social media.

[Host]

Okay, well, let's just.

[Mel Robbins]

I was just at a party last night for my. We were back in Boston, it was the last game for my daughter's varsity lacrosse game and we were at a big after game party after they won at somebody's house. And it was a big potluck with the whole team and there were literally 30 girls sitting in a circle with their phones out. And I know the studies. And in fact, Instagram is the one that causes the greatest depression because it's so curated and there are filters and it's visual. And I am really worried about the consuming side of social media. And even. And I know better and I find myself getting jealous. Like, I'll see you guys doing all this cool stuff and these incredible sets and I'm like, shit. You know, Tom is crushing it and I'm a loser. I'm behind. I need to get going. I need to get a game show. I need to like, I need to be doing more, more, more, more, more. Right? We all feel it. I don't care how old you are. And so in that regard, I think it's garbage. I think we're gonna look back on this era the way we did with smoking and say, were we crazy to let the cigarette companies advertise to children? Were we crazy? Yes, we were. Because it was addictive and because there was no kind of social conscience consciousness about it. And so I worry about this tremendously, both for my own mental health and for my kids and the kind of people that they will turn out to be. As a business person, I love the fact that I can connect with people. I love the fact that. And as a human being, I love the fact that I can connect with people. I love that people can comment. I love the real time feedback. I love that we can go live and be connected to people around. Like that is the power of it, to do good, to connect, to facilitate your dreams, to get you information. It is the single most revolutionary force in the world. I mean, look at, look at the Arab Spring and all the revolutions that happened that were fueled by social media. Look at the way that Manchester, after the bombing at the Ariana Grande concert, immediately social media, like just, just got together and they were putting up free housing for people. And Facebook has now got the get. So there's pieces to this that are so Important for us as a society and as individuals. I'm terrified for all of us, so I don't know what the answer is.

[Host]

All right, great answer.

[Mel Robbins]

There we go.

[Host]

We do have one more category. Tom, what's your answer? I.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Optimism is my default setting, so I certainly understand your concerns, and I think if I had kids, maybe I would be more concerned. But social media has only given to me. It's never taken anything away. And that's somebody saying that, who has people that write him and say, I'm an idiot, I'm a fool, whatever. But the overwhelming number of people are connecting with each other, helping each other. They're able to reach out to people that otherwise, they wouldn't be able to. I've been able to connect with people that I never would have been able to. And when I think back to how, for lack of a better term, landlocked, I felt as a kid, like not knowing how to reach out to somebody, not knowing how to connect or get out of Tacoma, it was like I felt so helpless. And now it's. I mean, Wes is here, and Wes and I connected on social, and there's Ibrahim. We connected on social. I mean, literally all of our interns or people that we met socially first, and they've become real people in my life. And I think that's the one criticism people normally leverage against social media and say, well, they're not real relationships. Well, they are if you pursue them. And so, like, to me, the. The amount that it's given me is tremendous, and the amount that it's taken away is so infinitesimal as to not be relevant.

[Mel Robbins]

It's true. Like, if you think about, like, what would your life be like if all of a sudden all of that disappeared? The lack of connection, like, the inability to find the information that you need, as you said, like, that sense of isolation that so many of us can feel. I agree with you that at the end of the day, the benefits outweigh a million fold. I just get really concerned about our individual psychology, and not just for the kids, for the adults.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Yeah.

[Host]

All right, let's go to our last category. Now we have to announce our winner. Leanne on Facebook. Congratulations. You've won the grand prize.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Wow. Leanne at the top.

[Host]

Liked comment that you want our contestants to answer. And the topic is genius. Sorry, it was a random choice, but we like your topic. Oh, the topic is genius. You're gonna get your motivating or garbage. Oh, you don't have to get them. You can just respond. All right, all right.

[Mel Robbins]

Mel, genius is being a genius motivation or garbage. I think it's garbage because to me, that when I hear the word genius, I think about somebody that has a particular expertise. And to me, what's really motivating is people that have. And I know Tom, I think believes the same thing, too. Have a growth mindset, meaning you're really focused on the effort. So you're not focused on a knowledge bank. You're focused on the effort. The effort, the effort. Always trying, always getting better. And to me, genius is sort of a state that you reach on a topic. So I think it's garbage to try to go there. Way better to cultivate this ability to keep working harder and harder.

[Host]

All right, great answer.

[Tom Bilyeu]

I'll ask you, Tom. So here's the really bad news. I think that genius is real. And I think that there are some people that are just. And I'll define it as the ability to process data very rapidly. And there are some people, they can just process data very, very rapidly. And if you took somebody who was a genius and somebody who wasn't, and they put in equal amount of work and effort and all that, the genius is just gonna win. There's no two ways about it. But having said that, the number of people that qualify for that and then actually do anything with it is so small. And I think people let themselves. Certainly I did. I let myself get trapped by that. And I felt like, well, I wasn't born a genius at any. And so that felt like a death sentence for a very long time. And I found myself doing weird emotional contortions to try to be genius at something just so I could feel good about myself. And what do you do when it's like, you really run the math? And if you run the math, boys and girls, guess what. You're average.

[Host]

Right.

[Tom Bilyeu]

That was a hard awakening for me. And so to realize that just mathematically speaking, I was average. And if there was anything that.

[Mel Robbins]

Like running the wrong math.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Why do you say that?

[Mel Robbins]

Well, calculate the odds that you're even born.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Sure. But you're playing that against all people in the same scenario. So that sort of washes to zero.

[Mel Robbins]

No, it doesn't.

[Tom Bilyeu]

We're a relativistic species. We're looking at how we.

[Mel Robbins]

Depends on how you look at it.

[Tom Bilyeu]

But you were just saying earlier, even on social media, like, you're looking at other people and you feel that's.

[Mel Robbins]

But you know as well as I do that the power is in here. And that based on your ancestry, based on your unique DNA, based on the fact that you have two brains. That's right, two brains. From the recent research from the Human Genome Project, they've actually figured out that when you're being formed in an embryonic state, the clump of tissue that separates when your brain is formed, one clump becomes your brain, one clump becomes your gut. Yes. The same DNA that forms your brain forms your gut. In fact, your gut has more unique DNA in it than your brain, than the rest of your entire body. It has the same neurotransmitters that your brain has. So when we talk about body intelligence, there is now crazy, amazing science that explains why you feel things before you think them. And so, between your situational intelligence, the experience of your life, the unique DNA that you have that is unique to you, you bring this totally unprecedented amount of wisdom to the experience of life. There's never going to be another you. Never. And so the secret to life, I believe, is having the clarity to actually hear yourself, to hear that unique wisdom that makes you you. And to listen to it, to act on it, to take action on it. Because what makes Tom tick is different than what makes me tick. And you could measure us based on money or based on how many people work for us or how long we've been married or what our grades are. All this artificial bullshit. The thing that truly matters, the people that you admire most, they all have one thing in common. They've all figured out how to listen to their own wisdom. You think Jay Z holds a caucus before he makes a business decision? I don't think so. Neither does Oprah Winfrey or Bill Gates or Richard Branson or any of these people that you hold in high regard, as you should, or whether it's a poet or a writer, whomever you love and adore, they have one characteristic in common. They've figured out who they are by listening to their instincts and taking action on it. And so can you. That's the answer. Passion. And living an engaged life and figuring out what you're supposed to do. It starts in here. Not out there.

[Host]

Word.

[Tom Bilyeu]

I'll give you a slightly different take. There's nothing special about you. You are average in every way conceivable. And your life is going to be the answer to one question. What are you willing to become? And what price are you willing to pay to get there? That's it. You are a blank canvas, my friends. And you can become anything you want. But that dual brain that she's talking about, Every fucking buddy has it. Everyone you love, but not the same one. Everyone you hate, they all start with the same boring lump of flesh. Spread out. Yes. From their head down to their gut. How wonderful. But now it's going to become a question. If you want to be a snowflake, snowflake, then you better start synthesizing a lot of fucking information. Read a lot of stuff, watch a lot of things, experience a lot, and then have the guts to have an individual reaction. But to think that you were born special is a mistake. Is that clear?

[Mel Robbins]

Not to me. I think that is the biggest hunk of horseshit I've ever heard in my entire life. Yes. That was not. That was garbage. You have something unique and amazing to offer to the world that nobody else can do. It is your job. The purpose of your life is to figure out who you are. And the way that you do that is you tune out. You tune out the world and you tune in here. Yeah, you gotta go read. You gotta go read. You gotta watch a ton of videos. You gotta tune into this show every week. You've gotta explore. You've got experience. You got to fail. But then you've always got to calibrate it against. What are your instincts saying? What energizes you? What depletes you? That's. It's really that simple. Follow the things that energize you. Follow the things that you're naturally curious about. Don't buy into the shit he's telling you, because you are. You are not only unique, I think you're a bloody miracle. The fact that you were born who you were born, and there's a reason why you're here, and it's time you start to figure it out.

[Tom Bilyeu]

You build yourself brick by brick like anybody. And if you want to be special, you must become special. That's the joy of life, is to decide who you want to become and become that person. Doesn't matter where you start, doesn't matter who you were born to, doesn't matter what your DNA is nothing. You can become anyone you want to become. So I have no doubt that you can become special. I have no doubt that you can do amazing things that other people simply believe are not possible. But it's a choice. And it's based on your actions and what you do and your willingness to suffer and grow and fail and learn from it and get back up and claw your way to the top, but it's in your control. So the current state of your life is all your fault, whether that's good or bad. But you can become anything you want. Just have to set your mind to it.

[Host]

And with that, we're going to have

[Mel Robbins]

to, because I won.

[Host]

Join us for another bonus round where it's a battle royale. Oh, but thank you to Mel Robbins and Tom Bilyeu.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Thank you, everyone, for our first ever,

[Host]

our first ever game show on the set of Impact Theory Studios. Thanks to our live audience for joining us and for participating and playing along. Be sure to follow Mel Robbins and Tom Bilyeu online, subscribe to all the great content and don't miss a very special event coming to you in just a few hours from the studio. Mel is going to be doing a live cast with Success Magazine, showing you how to build the life of your design and use the tools of confidence, courage and clarity to make it happen. Tune in at 5pM Pacific Daylight Time. Go to Success. Com Impact. Okay, thanks, everyone.

[Tom Bilyeu]

Peace.