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Join host Tom Bilyeu, serial entrepreneur and co founder of the billion dollar brand Quest Nutrition, on a journey to unlock your potential and realize your vision of success. Welcome to Impact Theory. Hey, everybody. Welcome to another episode of AMA Live. I'm your host, Tom Bilyeu, and today I'm going to be taking your questions, so make sure that you drop them into the comment box and so you can get all of your questions answered. I get hit up a lot on social and this is your chance. I'm always telling people to come here during the AMA Live, so make sure that you drop them in. All right, the first question. And by the way, if this has added value to your life in the past, please do share it. And as we go, if it's adding value, please share it. That'd be amazing. It would mean the world to me. All right, so first question is from Berthany. Is that really. That's not a typo? All right, Berthany Duvarglass. How can I fire my family when I live with them? They don't care about my goals, but I'm obsessed with them. I want success, but they try to put a roadblock in front of me all the time. Who? Okay, so firing your family, it's actually a really interesting way to look at it. The conundrum here being, of course, that you live with them. At the end of the day, it's like anything. I highly encourage people to sock away enough money that you're never beholden to anybody. So I think that six months salary or sorry, six months living is a good way to think about it. So I don't know how old you are, but let's assume for a second that you're north of 18, where this gets a lot easier. I think that being able to live on your own is wonderful. And if you can, that's great. If you don't need to and you're not in a situation like this, staying with your parents for as long as you can to sock away as much money as you can, I think is even more beneficial. But if you're in a situation where you need to get out, at the end of the day, your family has to come second to what it is you're trying to accomplish in your life if you have to choose between them. I'm a big fan of the Peter Diamandis rule that when given a choice between two things, take both. So whenever humanly possible, if you don't need to fire your family, I think having them in having that support is really wonderful and is something that man, anybody that has and can take advantage of is wonderful. But if you're in a situation where they're trying to stop you, they're holding you back, they're a negative influence on your life, they've got to come second to what it is you're trying to accomplish. And the only way that you're going to do that by putting distance between you, is by having enough capital that you can get out of the house. Now, let's assume for a second, just to answer the really hard question, that you actually can't leave and that you're stuck in the house and that you're not going to be able to fire your family the way that you want. You still can limit the. The amount of interaction that you have with them. And most importantly, you can limit the effect that that interaction hasn't with you has on you. Excuse me. So the most important thing here is to meet them with compassion. So whenever I meet somebody that's trying to hold me back, I recognize it for what it is, which is 99 times out of 100, it's insecurity on their part. It's they weren't able to chase their dreams or they may even have real worry for you, and that it's also from their perspective, coming from a place of compassion. They don't want to see you suffer. And so if you can understand that this is coming from a place for them of insecurity, of weakness, of not believing that people can do what they set their minds to. And that, to me is one of the greatest human tragedies, is to not believe that you can actuate your potential and to leave that potential on the table, which is something that I live in crushing fear of. So when I meet people that that's their worldview, that's their mindset, rather than be agitated with them, rather than be brought down by what they're saying, I actually meet with compassion. And I have nothing but empathy for that. And I spent a lot of time where my own family felt the same. They, my worldview seemed crazy to them. They worried about me. They didn't think that I was going to be able to succeed in the way that I wanted. They wanted to see me safe and happy. And unfortunately, you've got to divorce yourself from worrying about what they think. And this, this is the key. I can spend time with anybody without feeling like I need to convince them. And this is where people get themselves into trouble. They feel like they have to convince other people that they're right. And you do not need to convince your family. You don't need to convince anyone. So you can spend time with them, let them have their belief system, meet their belief system with compassion. Enjoy your time around them, learn things from them. Even if you guys don't see the world the same way, rather than spend your energy and effort trying to convince them to see that you're right or that the way that you think makes sense, literally, that's going to get proven out in the wash, by the way. So you're either going to succeed or you're not. And they're either going to be right or they're not. And so worrying about whether or not they believe in it, to me is totally irrelevant. So you've got to find a way to have the internal fortitude, the belief in your willingness to acquire skills. Because first of all, depending on how old you are, chances are that they're right, that right now you really aren't capable. And so rather than spending the time convincing them that you are capable, which you're probably not, spend your time gaining the skills and then meeting them with compassion. All right, next question is from Sim Land, our boy and about to be at Impact House. He won the. It was, Was it the 20 hour challenge? Anyway, Simland won a challenge. Yay. And it's highly active, by the way, in the social feed, so thank you, Sim. Excited to meet you face to face. It's going to be a lot of fun. All right, question is, how do you maintain antifragility in your daily routine? What do you mean by that? Okay, so let's define antifragile. So first of all, something that is antifragile is no longer defined by its breaking Point, things that are tough, robust, strong, all of that, their breaking point is far away, but they're still defined by that breaking point. So something that is antifragile is something that grows stronger the more that it's attacked. So the easiest way for me to explain this is a way that any of you can build in antifragility into your life, which is to switch what you build your self esteem around from being prideful of being smart, being right, being good, being valuable, any of those things which are very, very fragile because you will inevitably meet people who are better, smarter, faster, stronger, all of that than you are. And instead of building your self esteem around something that will ultimately break, build your self esteem around being the learner, which is truly antifragile. Meaning if somebody calls you stupid, they say that you're dumb, you're doing this the wrong way, that you would lower your emotional defenses. You'd be willing to take in that criticism. You would assess whether or not it's true and if it's, if it is true, without any loss of self esteem, you would be willing to stare at your inadequacies, identify what you need to do to acquire the skills in the area that you need to acquire skills in in order to accomplish your goal. And you would set about learning that. And your willing to stare at your inadequacies, your willingness to learn the new things, that becomes the very thing that you build your pride around. So really think through that for a second. If you build your self esteem, you build your pride around being willing to admit that you're wrong, being willing to admit that you're not good enough, and the willingness to do that builds a sense of pride in you, then truly your self esteem at that moment becomes antifragile. And since you can count on humans to do more of what makes them feel good about themselves, if the act of learning, if the act of accepting what you're not yet good enough at so that you can acquire the new skills, if that is the very source of your pride, that you're doing that more and more often to feel better about yourself, you can imagine how the more people try to tear you down, the better you actually get. So that is how you become antifragile. It's the daily routine parts, the only part that I don't understand. So I think that hopefully that's more or less what you meant. And there's your answer. All right, Emmanuel Garcia, this is from YouTube. What is something that people underestimate that they should pay more attention to? What Your self esteem is built around really matters. That literally the thing that I just went through, that is the thing that I think holds people back from becoming what they're capable of becoming, is they don't realize that what you build your self esteem around matters. For most people, this is completely invisible. And this gets into my whole notion of invisible beliefs, which by the way, reminds me of the content that I'm creating on Alexa. I did a whole thing about invisible beliefs there. If you guys have an Amazon echo, an Amazon dot, an Amazon show, any of those, be sure to add me as a skill. There is a daily Flash briefing that I do. So yeah, do that. And if, by the way, you're already following mayor me there and you get the daily Flash briefing, if you haven't already, it'd be amazing if you went to Amazon to review me, which will help me reach a wider audience. All right, that'd be incredible. So that's the thing, man, you've really got to think about that. And then I'll throw out another one, which is always be reading. I think every day you should be taking in knowledge. And when I say always be reading, I really mean always be learning. Wherever you get it from, if it's YouTube videos, if it's something like the AMA here, always be learning, always be assimilating new information, ideas in, equal ideas out. That's really, really important. So if you want to see your life change and get better, you need fresh ideas into the system. You need to be gaining new skills. And yeah, focus on that and your life will progress. All right, next question is from Tyrell Johnson. This is on YouTube. If you were in debt, let's say 15k. I used to be 25k in debt. So this is nice and easy and just started a job where you have 1k to 2k a month in excess cash, homie, you're living. Would you focus on eliminating that debt or investing into your business to grow it or both? Okay, so the number one rule of investing is that when you're paying off debt, whatever your interest rate is there, that's a guaranteed return. So there are precious few things. Let's say that you have 3 to 5% in interest that you're paying on that. There are precious few things, even the stock market, that's going to guarantee you a return of north of 3%, especially in today's economy. So look at like what is over the last 10 years, what has one of the index funds returned? Let's say that the index fund returns less than you're paying in interest, then you're way better off paying against that. If the index fund returns more than you're paying in interest, then actually putting the money into the index fund and taking the excess capital to pay off your debt is actually a pretty good way. So you need to really look at the the most certain gain. It is almost certainly to pay off your debt. By the way, just I can manage precious few scenarios where you wouldn't be better off doing that. And by the way, never ever, ever try to beat the market. That's just a suicide run. The chance of your company being successfully are successful are very, very low. It's awesome. It's a learning experience. You're going to try a few. Finally one will hopefully hit and smash. But your surest path to success from an investment return standpoint is almost certainly to pay off that debt. Now what would I actually do? The thing that I always did was I was paying some off on my loan and then I was using some to invest in my life. So I would actually split it and I would decide what that amount, whatever my minimum is, I'm going to pay some over that. And this is literally exactly what I did to pay off my student loans. So if my minimum, let's say was like 250 bucks a month, then I was going to pay say 300 doll a month so that I was really eating into it, that I was adding to the principal payment. As you're paying down your principal, obviously the interest payment then is less. Being in an interest only scenario is you're literally just pissing money away. So find a way to chip away at that principal balance. That's really the key. And make sure that you find out from whoever you've got that debt from whether overpayments go immediately to the principal or not or if they go to the next payment. So you need to figure that out, make sure that you know that and you want to be chipping away at that principal. Okay, so that's what I did. I split them. It was a both equation for me. And then also I'm a big believer in starting your side business while it's a side business so that you have a way that you're earning income from your primary job and then you're clocking nights and weekends to build the secondary thing so that I'm not losing my extra cash flow. And by the way, like let's really get into this. There are ways for you to make money that don't actually cost a lot of money. So drop shipping being an affiliate, things like that. You can actually make money without a lot of infrastructure. Obviously it's not going to be as much money as you could make if you were making your own product. But that takes a lot of capital outlay. So there are ways to build businesses that require very little cash from you. They require time, but they don't necessarily require capital. So I would do something like that. Like, that's the real world. And I rarely talk about this, but there were so many side businesses that I tried and they failed. Affiliate marketing and things like that. I did a dating website at one point. It's actually not true. I did a website that reviewed dating websites. So. So things like that. There are a lot of hustles that you can do that even if they fail aid and put much, if any capital into them. And it's going to be your MBA as you do it. So you learn more from your failures than you do from your successes. All right, next question is from Lester Visaya. This is Facebook. Do you think it's sensible to be temporarily successful at a job you currently don't love in order to get into a path career you're passionate about, or is it better to just drop everything and dive into a new chapter? All right, these questions always scare me. I would need a lot more details to know if you're totally delusional, which by the way, is very probable, or if you're actually onto something. Now, the reason that I say that is I think most people make the assumption that they need to earn a living doing something that they don't like because that's just the way of the world and that somehow that's going to lead to the thing that they really do. Like now I learned the hard way that that actually isn't true and that the struggle is guaranteed, the success is not. So you might as well struggle at something you really believe in. Now there are many, many companies out there that I think are amazing and doing things in a really tremendous and incredible way. So finding one of those companies and going to work for them, and by the way, being willing to relocate. So not just looking in your backyard, but looking all over, wherever you have a visa to work. So for those of you in the US you got 50 states. I don't know. I don't think we have any agreements with any foreign countries that would let you go over in a visa waiver kind of way. But certainly in the EU you do. You could travel all over the eu at least for a little while longer. And then Britain is leaving you, but there are a lot of places that you can go, a lot of companies out there doing things the right way. Start interviewing the companies as hard as they're interviewing you. I think that's really important. Finding out if your values align, that's a big deal. Which actually I think plays more into your ability to enjoy that job than just like, is it an industry that you really care about? But look at the entire ecosystem by the way, around the things you're passionate about. There's a lot of different ways to enter into a world that you could be really excited about. It doesn't just have to be like, let's take being sports. If you love sports, you don't have to just play sports, you don't have to just coach sports. You could be an accountant for a sports team and then you're still around that thing that you care about. So there are many, many ways to get into that. But I really think people need to make the demand that, that they make a living doing the thing that they care about and that they're certainly at an absolute minimum in the universe of things that they care about, like being in an accountant for a sports team. Okay, so next question is from Carolina Wilk. Tom, what do you think about persuasion that's capitalized and what psychological tips can we use to improve any business acumen? Okay, so I think the persuasion is massively important. I want to differentiate between bullshitting persuasively and being persuasive. So I really believe that in today's hyper connected world, the best way to be persuasive is to have something that is real to you, something you really believe in, something that you know to the core of your being will make people's lives better. Because I think that is highly monetizable in today's world. Build that thing either as your own entity or in another company and being able to paint that vision, being able to explain it, understanding psychology enough, understanding the brain, understanding things like Dan Ariely's book Predictably Irrational, understanding the behavioral economics of any situation I think is really, really important and feeds into really being able to be persuasive. But at the end of the day, just bullshitting people effectively I think is, is a very short term way. So if I read your word persuasion as being that, I think that it's absolutely horrific. But in terms of business acumen, I actually think persuasion and business acumen are very, very different. And I think that being persuasive if you have business acumen is a wonderful collision, especially if you're building something that you really care about and you know is going to help people's lives. But business acumen is really like how do we turn a profit? How do we build teams? And in that there are people that need to be the frontman, they need to be persuasive and then people that not necessarily and maybe they're far better at executing. So really understanding what skillset you want to build for yourself will determine whether you need to be persuasive or you need to focus on business acumen or you need to do both. So for instance, to be the CEO, I think you need both. I can imagine scenarios where actually you can get away without that but for the most part I'll say that it will serve you very, very well. So ultimately you're in a much more powerful position if you're both persuasive and have business academic right any. So go back because it was actually any psychological tips you can use to improve any business acumen. Business acumen I would say specifically is, is just learning the principles of business so far less psychological tips which only really applies to like teams, marketing. But there are whole elements that have very little to do with psychological tips. All right, next question is from Daniel Breeze on Facebook. Tim Grover says that when you're the guy at the top, you show others how to act. You shouldn't try to fit in. What if you're working on getting to the top? Should you act and even dress as if you're already there? When you manage procurement for multiple facilities, every order matters. But when it's for a hospital system, they matter even more. Grainger gets it and knows there's no time for managing multiple suppliers and no room for shipping delays. That's why Grainger offers millions of products in fast, dependable delays delivery so you can keep your facility stocked, safe and running smoothly. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click granger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done. Kind of took a hard right turn there. So dress for self expression and psychological impact. Meaning when I was coming up I dressed really well. That was important to me. I always wanted to look nice. I always wanted to be one of the nicer dress people. I didn't want to be like way out of hand. I didn't come in in a tuxedo or a suit if I knew nobody else was going to be in a suit. But I never wanted to be middle of the road to underdressed as I've gotten successful. On the other hand, now I Dress just as a form of self expression. I try not to be inappropriate for the event, but I, I far prize self expression far more than I do being on the upper end of dressy. So I'll roll up in a business meeting literally dressed exactly like you guys see me on camera every time. About the dressiest I ever go is if you see me on stage. That's, that's about it. So I'm still wearing underneath my self signaling impact theory T shirts, which by the way you can get@shop.impacttheory.com you know my obsession with self signaling, going back to what I was saying about doing things and selling things that you think will actually make people's lives better, that's what it's all about. Today's shirt is grit, which hopefully you all have at the center of your absolute existence and then get that shirt to remind yourself and to tell other people what you're all about. So yeah, I would say be on the upper end of dressed up. As you're coming up in the game, ultimately it doesn't really matter that much. What really matters is being really fucking good. And at the end of the day, if you dress like a slob and you're an absolute murderer at your job, you're going to keep moving up. That, that's just the truth, man. Like skills overcomes everything. There's no reason to dress like a slob and make it harder for people to recognize your talent. Better to be neutral to positive in your dress and then crush it in the job and nothing will hold you back. All right, next question. Katie Mastelier. It's quite the name. Hi, Tom. You've recently acknowledged needing become a better manager is a. Is there a tool or resource aside from Ray Dalio's principles? You're taking away my tools that you utilizing to help you grow those skills. So appreciate all the content you and your team put out. Thank you, man. Or thank you, my lady. I guess that's like a really horrific thing. That's like a meme in and of itself. Thank you, Katie. How about that? We'll just make it nice and simple. Other than Ray Dalio's principles, what am I doing to be a better manager? So because I know what good management looks like, I'm actually not doing anything other than trying to make my skills better there. So let's walk through what actually makes a good manager so that you'll know what you need to be improving. Even if I'm going to fail you on giving you the tools to do that. Number one, good managers are really focused on their team. Good managers are focused on facility facilitating their team, not in micromanaging their team. Good managers are creating career paths for people. Good managers are communicating expectations. Good managers are holding people to an incredibly high standard. And good managers are leading by example. But if you really think of a manager as somebody who's meant to coach and facilitate, so think of a football coach, whether that's American football or European soccer doesn't matter. It's the same idea. The coach is not going out onto the field to play, but they have to make sure that their team understands their jobs, that they have practice that they've built in the skill set, that they need to go out and execute at the highest level. There needs to be a massive amount of clarity. There needs to be a lot of work done by the coach so that everyone is set up to succeed. And I think at the end of the day, like, if I had to sum it all up in one sentence, a manager's job is to set their team up for success. That's it. All the things from making sure that people have that clarity to making sure that everybody's focused on the same thing, to making sure the interpersonal conflicts are dealt with, making sure that the culture of the company is alive and well in that small segment, making sure that everybody knows what the company is building towards. Those are all the things that a manager has to get good at. And the thing that I really had tried to divorce myself, and I think very wrongly so, is getting into, like, the interpersonal things that people are struggling with. That really takes up a lot of time and management and just like, really helping people get along. Like my. My real fantasy, I was just talking to the team here about this this morning. My real fantasy is just be surrounded by people that are so beyond hungry for success that all I have to do is create the lane for them to go and crush it and to protect them from distractions from the outside world and to set an example. That's what I want to do. But the reality is humans are far more complicated than that and that it is inevitable that there are going to be times that they're struggling with something and they really need somebody to handhold to walk them through that. And it's pretty powerful to know that you can lean on somebody and that they're going to help you do that. And I think that really great managers and quite frankly, really great leaders, they do that. And so that's something that I've really begun to switch my focus to. Making sure that the team really not only has a path of how to move forward, not only has the standards, but also in those moments where they really need somebody to walk them through something, that somebody's there, receptive, that sets up the environment so that that can be facilitated. And then the ultimate thing that everybody in a company needs to do, and that is prioritize truth and coming to understand what you really like, not what you wish you were like. And now this is me leaning on Ray Dio's principles. But not what you wish you were like, but what you're actually like. Today, in this moment, you can always change, you can always get better, but what do you really like in this moment? And I think a great manager makes that helps people realize the truth of where they are. And that's hard. That is not something people want to hear, man. People want to be blind to who they are, and that is terrifying. You should want to know the truth so you can actually improve. All right, next question is from Alex Green. What are your macros and daily calorie limit? When not on a keto diet, do you use any of the calculators online to determine calorie intake or some other method? I used to. I used to weigh all of my food. I used to be really, like hardcore about what my macros were and all of that, but I've been in this game now for about 15 years, so it is so easy for me to dial up or down my eating because I eat so consistently. So rather than give you my macros, which I don't track, rather than giving you my calories, which I don't track, I will just tell you exactly what I eat eat on a. Since you asked, a non keto day. So, in fact, today is a non keto day. So it looks like this. First of all, I tried to. I'm not going to what I would call full intermittent fasting, but I'm allowing 12 to 13 hours between my last meal the day before, my first meal the next day. And true intermittent fasting, I would say is about 16 hours. So not crazy far off. So I eat my first meal pretty late. And my first meal right now when I'm high protein would either be chicken breast and say some eggs, or what I did today will be two bags of Quest Protein chips and one of the Quest Protein cups. So not a full pair, they come in pairs, but one, and that's a meal. And then if I'm getting really hungry, between that meal and my next meal, which today I won't Because I'm shooting content, which takes a lot of my time, energy and focus. So I don't even think about food. I would have a bowl of vegetables and those vegetables would be carrots, sugar snap peas, olives and radishes. And so it's a very small bowl. It's not a whole lot, but just enough. If I'm getting hungry and I find myself being distracted, I'll. I'll put those vegetable, that small bowl of vegetables in. Then my next meal is half of a double king fat burger. So that's a pound of pre. A pre cooked pound of beef. No bun, obviously no sauce other than mustard. I cut that in half. And that has meat and cheese, no bacon. And so that will be my meal number two. And then if I want again, I'll do another small bowl of vegetables. And then my third meal is going to be a repeat of the meal before that. So it would be the second half of my burger. And then my final meal would be a bowl of vegetables, the same bowl of vegetables that I described earlier and the second half of that peanut butter cup duo. And that's what I eat for the day. So there you have it. That's. That is a high protein day for me. Um, my keto days look a little bit different. But you asked specifically for high protein. But he did ask for macros and I didn't give you any of those. But one thing you will notice is minus vegetables, I don't intake carbohydrate. All right, next question is from Edgar Briv. Isn't that a typo? Wow, man. He is committed to consonants. All right, how do you shut down the anxious inner critic? Is it best to become friends with it in your head? Okay, this is amazing question. I'm gonna go through this as quickly as I can. I talk a lot about anxiety, so There are other AMAs where I've talked a lot about this. In fact, we have one called how to cure Anxiety. So if you want a really in depth one, you can go watch that one. But here's the brief breakdown. A. There's two things at play. There's biology and there is your mindset. So first of all, let's talk about biology because it's not very often talked about. I'm going to guess. This is sadly a guess, but it's based on things that I've read that the microbiome is going to play a massive role in your anxiety levels and potential depression level. Focusing on getting your diet right is probably one of the biggest things you could do. Second, I think exercise has a massive impact on anxiety. So getting those right, like, those two things, I hate to say it because neither of them are really fun on the surface, but doing those two things is probably half the battle. The other half of the battle is mindset. So the negative voice in your head, I actually think can be beneficial if you know when to listen to it, when to ignore it. If the negative voice in your head is right, then you should listen to it. Now remember, you're something like five times more likely to believe negative shit than you are positive shit. So you have to, like, balance that out. But it really may be pointing out a hole in your game. It may be exaggerating it. But if it's saying, like, I had this unending sense when I was saying I have no interest in being a manager, like, I just want to be a leader, I had this unease around that every time I said it. So that negative voice may be pointing out something that is very real. So listening to that, if you're not good at something and the voice is saying, hey, you really don't know what you're doing here. You really may not. And so taking the time to go learn about that would be a great response to that voice. Obsessing over it, letting it beat you down, letting it diminish your sense of confidence or your sense of self, that is a bad idea. So that's where you really have to understand one. Even if it's right, don't spend too much time listening to it. So let's ballpark that at 20%. And then if it's wrong, then we need to ignore it. So we look at it, we assess, is this right or wrong? Okay, yes, it's right. Awesome. You've got a growth mindset. No problem. We'll listen to that. We'll go acquire the skills. If it's wrong, on the other hand, then you need to ignore it. So if it's just like heckling you, you're not good enough, you're not worthy. Like, all of those permanent state judgments on yourself, you need to get rid of those. So those are going to be times you're absolutely going to want to ignore the negative voice. So I don't think of it so much as making friends with it. I think of it as leveraging any utility that it may have. All right, so that's the short answer. If you want a longer answer again, we have an AMA titled How to Cure Anxiety. Go check that out, like the first 10 minutes or something of the episodes. All about anxiety. All right, next question is from Mindy Sabaston. Hey, Tom. And Impact Theory team. I find myself at. I find myself at times asking myself if I really want my future goals. Very interesting. Does this questioning mean I am impatient for my goals or that my goals are not what I actually want or something entirely different altogether? So, first of all, I think that it's healthy to question yourself. I don't think you should try to silence that voice. And I think that checking in with yourself just to make sure that you haven't gotten on some path and you're just marching down it blindly because you set that path, you know, 10 years ago or whatever, and you're just going, going, going. I think it's actually good. So revisiting that, not being afraid to question it, not being caught up in dogma, that if things change and you no longer want that, that is very okay to acknowledge that, to pivot and do something else at the same time. Just because you ask the question doesn't mean that you're not still on balance, really in love with, you're doing. There are days that my life sucks and there are days I don't want to be doing what I'm doing. And on those days, days I wouldn't be surprised, on those days, definitely some percentage of the time, I wouldn't be surprised if it's even a majority of the time on the days where I really am not enjoying what I'm doing, that I ask myself, is this the right thing? Am I really doing what I want to be doing? Is either the grand vision, the right vision, or is this part of the path? The right part of the path. And I think gut checking yourself and coming back to whether or not on balance, that big thing that you're chasing, that you're pursuing your real mission, not the path path, the mission. If the mission still excites you, if the mission excites you, then keep going and just, you know, take the. The questioning for what it is, which is a gut check, you got your answer and move on. So, yeah, I. I wouldn't be tense about that at all. All right, next question is from Joe Strathearn. Facebook. I'm having a problem getting myself into the abundance mentality as written by Stephen Covey. The idea that there is enough in this world for everyone to succeed and be happy. I find myself often being very cynical. And every time I have an idea, someone has already done it or is doing it better than I can. When I see others become successful, I feel as though there's less of a chance for me to do the same. How can I overcome that? All right, everybody lean the fuck in right now, because we're going to talk about the only thing that matters. Fulfillment is what matters. It is a neurochemistry state. The game that you're playing is not success. It is not money. It is not legacy. See, it is neurochemistry. It's feeling good about yourself. Right now, today, in this moment. Now, the absolute foundational building block to fulfillment is progress. Now, I don't mean progress in worldly pursuits. I mean humans are an active species that are absolutely designed to learn, adapt, and grow. Grow. We are the ultimate adaptation machine. Now, when nature wants us to do something, it incentivizes that thing with pleasure. So if we're the ultimate adaptation machine, designed to learn, grow, and get better, then it's going to make that process intensely pleasurable. Now, what it doesn't incentivize is the obsession over where other people are. Whether or not we have unique ideas, whether or not we're valuable. None of that is going to bring you joy, okay? As they say, comparison is the thief of joy. So, hey, if you really want to fuck with yourself, jump in the Instagram feed and look how other people are crushing it and obsess over that. If, on the other hand, you want to really have a deep and lasting sense of fulfillment, jump in the Instagram feed. Find people that motivate and inspire you to be a better version of yourself, not to attain worldly success, but to actuate your potential. To ask yourself a very simple question. What is it that I am excited by? What am I motivated by? What jazzes me up, regardless of whether or not it jazzes anybody else up. And now I'm gonna go get good at that thing. And that progress is the foundational building block of happiness. Now, if you wanna really push the level, gaining a skill set that not only serves you in a selfish manner, but can help other people. That's the real juice. That's techni, the ancient Greek notion of getting a skill set that was very hard to acquire, that is unique to you and lives in service of other people. I'm telling you, that's the fucking juice. And now the great news. You live in a world where that can actually be turned into a business. It can be monetized. You can build something massive and huge and amazing that simultaneously is an awesome business, totally for profit, allows you to facilitate all your dreams, and did all of that while living in service of other people. So you can do it at quest. We were trying to end metabolic disease at impact. Here I'm trying to pull people out of the matrix. Matrix that really, truly those are the things that motivate me. The money's amazing. The money helps. The money allows you to facilitate, also allows you to do cool shit for yourself. And anybody that tells you that you can't be selfish and do cool shit for yourself is bullshitting. Like, that is the human experience. We live life through this body. There are going to be rad things you want to do for yourself. They're going to be rad things you want to do for the people really, really close to you. And then there are hopefully also going to be, if you really want to be fulfilled, rad things you want to do for the greater world. They do not have to be mutually exclusive. So jump in on that. That that's the game of fulfillment can also lead to worldly success. But if you're focused on the worldly success, you're begging for misery. All right, next question is from Jake Delazar. When you were a teenager, where did you work? Were there ever days that you were scared that things wouldn't work out in the future? What do young teens have to keep in mind when working away, when working away at minimum wage jobs who want their futures to be a success? All right, I love this question because every job I had as a teenager was a joke. So let me walk you through. But a smattering. I was the guy that ran the batting cages. So when you came in, I fed the balls into the machine and dodged the balls, by the way, because this was. I was at one where I was just behind a little net and every now and then the net would rip and the ball would come screaming at your head. I was the guy at a shooting range, yes, a gun range, that when you said pull, I was the guy that flung those little pigeons, clay pigeons, out into the air. I worked in a door factory. I worked in a paint factory. I worked in a paint store. I worked in a paint warehouse. I worked in a library. Where else did I work? I worked in a tutoring center. Although I can't swear that I had that job when I was still 19. That may have been when I was 20, just to be really specific, but there you go. Nothing that was like, wow, these are careers and I'm going to do so well. When I was really young, I actually never worried that things would work out. I was just dumb enough to just totally take for granted that I was going to be successful. It Wasn't until I was in my early 20s that I realized, holy shit, I'm going to fail and my life is going to be a total empty void of failure. And I spent many years there and it was not pleasant. That was my years of being the king of remedial jobs or I had no idea how I was going to make my dreams come true. I felt totally lost in flirting with depression. It sucked. And virtually all of the content that I make is designed to be the things I wish I had known when I was in that phase, because I finally did make my way out of it, through a lot of hard work, through learning a lot and being willing to just do more than other people. But not where I started. So there you go. All right, next question. Violet Danka, YouTube. What's the best way to interest a fixed mindset person in developing their mindset? Violet, I implore you. You don't try to change people's minds. So if somebody wants out of a fixed mindset and they want to be a growth mindsetted person, they're asking you how they do it. By all means, give them every answer in the world. Otherwise, meet people with compassion where they're at. Be you, do you and feel for people's struggle. Understand that it is a waste of time and energy to try to proselytize and pull them out of that. You will seem like a total jerk work nobody wants to be preached to. That is exactly what you will sound like. Your only hope of actually reaching them is just to live your life and hope that over time they see whoa. That you're getting more and more fulfilled. They will not be impressed by you rising up in the world. In fact, they may resent it. What they will be moved by is if you are fun to be around. If you make them feel better about themselves when they're around you than when they're not. And in that they will lower their guard. They will feel connected to you. And over time they may realize, wow, I want a little bit of whatever this is. This thing that like makes you fun to be around, this thing that makes you a joy, you being excited, like all of those things, them watching you be a radiant light, as cheesy as that sounds like, if they feel that when they're in your presence, that is your only shot, that over time they may finally come and ask, what did you do? How is it that you think, but just focus on for your own sake sake, tapping into your excitement, being in love with what you do, getting better at it, and then Hope that that sets an example. And then there will be people that come to you, and they already want a growth mindset, and they just don't know what to do. And they'll come and you can answer. But the. One of the hardest things in life that we all have to embrace is people that we love and care deeply about are going to suffer. And they're going to suffer needlessly because they're making choices that that only compound the suffering in their life. There's nothing that you can do to help them other than to be that light. So there it is. Don't try to preach, man. All right, next up, Juliana Gutierrez. What are your current challenges in reaching your current goals? Wow, that is a huge question. Let's see how fast I can give you some of the big ones. Okay, so right now we want to be a film studio. So to pull people out of the Matrix. Matrix. I believe you have two options. One, you can speak directly to them. That's why I do these AMAs. I think that there are people out there that already want a growth mindset. They just need the path. And I'm giving you everything that I know about that, and hopefully that will help on your journey. So that's one. I think that that speaks to a very narrow band of humanity. And so the other way that I address pulling people out of the Matrix at scale, which is what I care about, that is the very mission of my life, is you have to get into the cultural belief system. Now, what is the most profound way to get into the cultural belief system System? Narrative. There's plenty of research on this. It talks about humans as meaning making machines, how narrative is really how we connect, how symbology are the ways that we are able to come together in very large, flexible groups. So I knew that I was going to be in those areas. Now, I believe that dealing in cultural beliefs is a multigenerational approach. So that means it's going to take a very long time. And you probably won't impact the first generation a whole lot. Lot. A little bit. But as Jeffrey Canada said, you have to give up on adults. I don't want to go that far, but I don't think that, like, we're going to create some utopian society in the next 20 years. I think that you have impact on the parents. The parents didn't have impact on the kids. And then the kids begin to take it for granted, and they pass on that, take it for granted to their kids. So that's how I look at this. I think that it is a very big task. And I think that creating a utopian society is probably. I don't like to limit myself, but is probably total delusion. So I don't spend a lot of time thinking there. I just think how can I pull as many people out of the Matrix as humanly possible at scale? And then hopefully that has some kind of long tail, positive knock on effect. Now what are the things that stand in that way? The things are that making movies and TV shows are incredibly expensive. So how do you build up the credibility? And I have a plan, but A, I don't know that the plan will work. That's why this is called impact theory and not impact machine, by the way, which we actually did debate between the two. But since I'm always willing to change my mind, it's theory. So we've got our plan, which is to start with comic books, build community around comic books, leverage that to maintain some of the merchandising rights as we move into film or tv, and then create entire ecosystems around that using the Disney total merchandising strategy as a model. Which is one of the reasons that one of the first things that we started selling were T shirts. I think that we need to get good at merchandising. I think that's a core competency that we're going to need to have. And that brings me to another problem, which is that I believe that the world is moving to print on demand. But print on demand technology as of right now sucks and it lingers behind screen printing. So now what we have to do is use the print on demand technologies to identify what shirts people really give a shit about, and then bring inventory in house so that our highest sellers are things that we hold inventory of so that we can give you the highest quality product. But that still forces us to take risks, which means that we have to move much more slowly and much more carefully. Whereas the moment somebody develops print on demand technology, that is absolutely amazing. And I thought about, God, is this something that we should develop as a core competency? I don't think the answer is yes. I think that that would spread our focus too thin. But if somebody did that, then I think that we would be able to move a lot faster in our merchandising goals than we are right now. So that is. But a few, many, many things stand in the way of that, including how do you find. Like for instance, we're working on a project right now which I'm really excited and I cannot wait to unveil to you guys, but it's going to be our first comic book. It is with a celebrity super amped about it, and we need a writer, and we need an artist. And my hope in the beginning was that, hey, I would just be able to put this out into the world. But the reality is that getting to people that are at the talent level that we need need takes either a far bigger audience than we have or crowdsourcing. It isn't going to work, because the people with that level of talent are already getting paid somewhere, so they're not out there looking. I still hold out hope for that, but that. That will play out in time. All right. I can feel that I would go on forever. I worry that that's not universally interesting, so I will stop there. Next question is from Daniel d', Elia, Facebook. Hey, Tom, have you ever started training Brazilian Jiu Jitsu since you had Farasahabi on your show? I did exactly one session with Farasahabi. It was amazing. And I walked away from it, A, injured, and B, asking myself, am I willing to dedicate the amount of time to this that it would take to get good? And the answer was no. But I really did enjoy it. And in an alternate universe, after meeting for us, I did go on to really start studying Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, but that is not this reality. And so it purely is a question of time. So, yeah, But I will say, Frost, Faras is amazing. And the fact that I've gotten to roll with Faras is pretty cool. And that guy was so gentle and so kind and so generous. It was just really, really neat. But even in that, at one point, I realized that I'm not gonna just make believe. I'm actually gonna try to, like, get away from him, because I. I trusted him so much that even though obviously he could snap me in half, literally snap me in half enough that he wouldn't. And so that empowered me to really try to escape. And that's when I hurt myself. But nonetheless, it was a really, really cool experience. Just not something I'm going to dedicate the time to. All right, Aaron Hunnel, Facebook. How do you see social media impacting our world in the future? Helpful or hurtful? Man, this is like any other tool, so you can use it like a douchebag and a total jackass or. And that goes both ways, both as a creator and a consumer, or you can use it to really do something incredible. So I put a ton of energy. I put so much energy into the social content that we put out there. If it has my fucking name on it, it's actually me. So let me tell you how tempting it must be for other people, because I'm actually not tempted to do this, but it must be insanely tempting on, like, an Instagram post to just. Just, like, do the first thing that comes to your mind and, like, that really simple thing. And, man, I'm really trying to go a level deeper. So if my image has a quote on it, that's, like, really true and super powerful, but also very trite, I'm gonna try to really give you what's going on below that in the caption. Now, recently, and I don't want to give away all my secrets, but recently I wrote this really long breakdown. So I put a trite comment out on the image, and I put it because it's true, which was, don't try to be all things to all people. Now, it's super trite because you've heard it a thousand times, but it's actually true. So in the writing session, which I am blanking on what that's called, I went into detail about why that's true, and I gave, I don't know, four or five bullet points that, for anybody that gives a shit about marketing, hopefully, that really added value to people's lives. And at the end of it, I said, said, hey, if you read all the way to the bottom of this, and this is the secret I was talking about not wanting to give away, if you've read all the way to the bottom of this, hit me with a wink in the comments because I really want to know, like, are people just skimming? Are they just looking at the image and they roll on by, or do I have some subset of people that follow me that actually want to get better? I was astonished. Shaws. It was north of 85%. I was really shocked. So, one, I'm totally honored and surpr. Stoked that people are really reading this, trying to get value out of it. So when I look at social media and I drink it in as, like, I'm really trying to get something. I'm really trying to learn something. And so I follow a lot of artists. Now. Why do I follow artists? Because it's a great way for me to find people that are going to help us actually create the comics and the screenplays and all of that stuff that we want to do. I follow writers as well. Brian Wood, forgive me for stalking you on Instagram, but that was actually. I can't remember if that was the first way that I got in contact with him, but it was certainly the way that I stayed in contact with him. So I think that social media can be insanely powerful. And look at our YouTube channel, man, I am proud of our YouTube channel. I think that there is amazing content that we're putting out there. So I'm a huge believer in social. I think that it can be used insanely, powerfully. I think that people are traditionally lazy, both as consumers and as creators. And that's why you get people who are just feeding that dopamine rush of like, oh, I want a little, oh, look, that's neat. Oh, that's neat. Oh, that's neat. And they never go any deeper than. Than that. Look, man, cocaine exists. If you want to go become a drug addict, that's on you. But at the same time, you can use something to really empower you. And that's a choice. You get to make that choice. And for those wondering why I said cocaine because it's impacts the dopamine centers. Anyway. All right, next up, Charlie Van Meers. I'm really overweight, and it really bothers me, and I'm trying to change that. I will eat good for like, three or four days, and then I will sabotage myself and I don't know why. Can you help me out with some advice? All right, man, this is a huge question, so let's run through some of the, like, high level stuff. So first of all, stop judging yourself for being overweight. Almost certainly you're doing that. That is not going to help you in all of this. So you want to now switch your identity over to somebody who is putting in the work to make that change. Okay, so that's the big part. Don't wait for Mondays. If you have a bad meal, don't let that become an entire cheat day. Like, these are all sort of the little mistakes that people make. So, all right, we need to acknowledge the role of biology in all of this. So the chances are if you put on a lot of weight, that either you have a genetic predisposition to put on the weight, and so things are going to be harder for you. That's not an excuse. You just want to acknowledge that it may take more energy and effort for you and it may take more time. Don't waste time focusing on how that's not fair. Which is exactly where I lost a lot of time in the early days. I remember being so annoyed I was talking to my wife in the early days of our marriage because I was eating less than I'd ever eaten and I was gaining More weight. And I was so pissed off and was I about it and it just didn't seem fair. Especially because my wife can eat more than me and not gain weight. And I literally mean calorie for calorie. My wife, who's half my size, can eat more than me and not gain weight. It's absolute madness. But then my wife also works harder than I do at maintaining her physique. So at the end of the day, all this comes down to is if you have a goal, you're going to have to work to get there. We're going to acknowledge the role of biology. We're going to acknowledge and hey, let's light a maelstrom of fucking people who are going to whinge about this. This. But not all calories are created equal. And so calories are signaling molecules and they tell your body to do certain things, sugar with you. And that's the reality. So I would avoid sugar like the plague. I also advise, though, there are definitely bodybuilders who can show you how to use carbohydrate to add muscle and get lean. I'm not denying that. I'm just saying, saying for simplicity's sake, we're going to avoid carbohydrate. Except for vegetables. Have all the vegetables you want. If you start doing that, that's going to help. Now let's address if you did that, by the way, if you just cut out sugar as. As a religion, using bright lines, you don't with sugar, period. End. And then you take your carbohydrate intake to, let's say, 50 grams a day, you would smash it. The weight would fall off. It would be how much weight you would lose. So. But the body resists losing weight. By the way, I'm on the board of a company called Modius Health. Because I'm on the board, you should totally take everything I say with a grain of salt. Even though I totally believe it, I'm incentivized to believe it. Now here's what I believe. It's a device. It's only ever going to do so much. You're going to. And what the device does is it stimulates the vestibular system, which tells your body that is this is their hypothesis. It tells your body body that it's very active. And thusly, since it's very active, it's going to lower the amount of fat that you store. What they have seen in studies and now starting in real life, because they've sold I don't know how many thousands of these units. But what they've seen is that people lose somewhere between 0 body fat and 16%, putting your average in the 8% range. Now even if that's all that ever happens for you, it could be a great starter. Also seems to affect people's sleep. Also seem positively. And also seems to affect their cravings. Cravings positively. Now again, I'm on the board of that company. So even though every word I've just said I believe, I'm incentivized to believe it. So I could be tricking myself. They have a money back guarantee, so you need to try it for yourself. But it could be something that helps. Now the self sabotage thing comes down to food is tasty. And so rather than thinking of it as you failed yourself, build in a release valve. So because food is amazing and because it's going, it has a drug like effect on your mood. That's real, man. So rather than making the value judgment of oh, I've sabotaged myself, except that this should taste good and that you want that neurochemical hit of having whatever your like food is that puts you in a really good mood. And give yourself a meal, let's say on Saturday where you just eat whatever you want and give yourself like a two hour window, gorge yourself if you want, eat horrifically, eat ice cream, eat cake, eat all of that. And you know, hey, I get to, on Saturday I get to go hog wild. I get to go absolutely banana bananas. You're still gonna make progress if on all the other days you're keeping your, your sugar and carbs. Sugar to zero and then carbs to 50 grams or less. Now keep in mind, everything I'm gonna tell you from a diet perspective is highly controversial. It winds me up that it's controversial, but nonetheless people are gonna argue this shit until the cows come home. And my fantasy is to do a study. Now I'm really derailing. Forgive me, but my fantasy is to do a study where I literally lock people in a room. A very plush and entertainment rich room, but a room where you only eat what I give you. And I'm willing to bet that if you let me control people's calories and their macronutrient intake, that not a single person will fail to lose weight and their blood values, which is far more indicative of health than just fat, will get better. So because the guy did the twinkie diet and he lost weight, because if you restrict your calories enough. All right, I'm gonna stop because I'm going down a deep rabbit hole here. But yeah, I find this stuff really interesting, and I find the kerfuffle, the arguments and all that just maddening. Okay, so hopefully that helped. I feel I got a little off topic there, but hopefully that helped. There's a lot of amazing people that you can follow, and if I can, I'm gonna shout out to Matty Fusaro right now. Maddie Fusaro. Follow Maddie Fusaro. I think that guy's heart is the size of his entire body. And that dude is yoked and, like, clearly what he's learned. And he may, by the way, give you things that totally disagree with what I just said, but I think his heart is huge, and I think that he certainly knows how to get himself in an insane shape. So you can't go wrong. So at Matty Fusaro. F U S A R I O. Fusaro. Nope, just a no. Yeah, we're gonna type it in because I just misspelled it. F. Yeah, rather than me. Guess again. Because spelling is not my forte. F U S A R O F U S A R O M A T, T, Y and then the last name. Matty Fusaro. Super good, dude. All right, next question is from Mia Lavoy. Hey, Tom, do you think it's a good idea to take a year and to get on to optimal. To get into optimal physical shape, to kickstart a lifetime of energy and feeling and looking great before starting a side business that has big intentions, or would you take up a lot. Okay, a side business that would take up a lot of time, or do you think just try to go at both physical and business goals simultaneously? Yeah, I mean, they're both lifestyle, so at some point you're going to have to figure out how to do both at the same time. Having a. Just a wicked crisp morning routine where you're really managing your time, where you get up, you work out, and then diet. Diet is actually the biggest part, honestly. Like, if you can't work out, no worries. We can get you in great shape, get decent blood markers. You're always going to be better if you can also work out out. But if you're only gonna give me one, I'll take diet every single time. As they say, you can't outrun a bad diet. And while I actually think you can get lean on a horrific diet, so it's only sort of true at a cellular level, you are what you eat. So if you're eating bad foods, chances are that you're damaging yourself at a cellular level. And so that becomes problematic. And I Literally am in shock that we have five minutes left. Today's gone by really fast. Maybe because I've been a little indulgent. I'm not sure. But let me try to get through. So, yeah, do them both at the same time. Yeah. Okay. All right, Next is L. Arathi Mamadella. Okay. How do we change ourselves to deal with mean, unfriendly people, which interferes our ability and potential of doing things with positive attitude and with teamwork? Thank you. Okay, so first and foremost, we need to develop strong belief in ourself. So part of this is going to be developing the antifragile mentality of building your pride around something antifragile that I talked about at the beginning of the episode. So something that is antifragile, fragile, is something that the more you attack it, the stronger it gets. The only thing I've identified in a belief system about yourself is to be the learner. So always being willing to admit that you're wrong, building your pride around staring at your inadequacies, nakedly knowing that you can add skills in that arena at any time by doing a whole lot of work. So once you adopt that as the very thing that makes you proud, then suddenly people who are mean and unfriendly, what they're doing is they're trying to attack you, and they're trying to attack you in areas of weakness, Right? People that attack you, they come after you for things that are real. That's why it fucking hurts. They don't come after you and say your skin isn't purple enough because who gives a shit about that? What they come after you is things that are real. They're going to call you fat. If you're fat, they're going to call you. They're going to make fun of your nose. My poor wife used to get made fun of for her nose because she's got a big nose. I used to get. And quite frankly, still sometimes in the comments do get made fun of for my ears because they're fucking big. So people are going to come after you for things that are real. So you have to be in a position where. Where you don't value yourself for those things. You value yourself for being willing to look at your inadequacies and make progress in those areas. So let me tell you. Let me give you a gift, by the way, if people are coming after you for something physical, we all turn to a bag of wrinkles. So that's real. So I wouldn't spend a lot of time valuing yourself for how you look. That's a very tenuous game. It is fragility at its finest. Instead, I would value yourself on your willingness to work your ass off to get better at the things that are meaningful to you, that lead you towards your goals. So if your pe. If people are attacking you for something that's real, you can go, whoa, do I care about that? Yes or no? If. No. Ignore. If. Yes. Awesome. Thank you for pointing that out. Now I'm going to go get good at it. All right, because we're almost out of time. I'll leave it there. Next question. Angelique Cabral, how do you manage your time doing the things you want to do versus the things you have to do? All right, so here's the key. You should be doing something in your life that you want to do so that all the things you have to do to achieve that are things that you want to do. It's never going to be perfect. There are definitely days where. Where something that I enjoy, let's say Monday, I don't enjoy on Tuesday, for whatever reason. Not because of the day of the week, just for whatever reason. I was feeling it on Monday, and now I'm not feeling it on Tuesday. There's an inevitable amount of that. But at the end of the day, that mission that you're after and hopefully the very path you have to walk to get there are both exciting for you. And while finding that, you don't find it, I'm gonna punch myself. You cultivate that. So building a path out, creating the excitement that starts as a small flicker of something that you're interested in. You fan those flames of excite and interest in all of that by engaging deeply and by literally just saying, I'm excited about this. This is exciting. Allowing yourself to feel and manifest physically that excitement, allowing yourself to get amped up, telling other people that you really dig it. It all has to be based on that kernel of truth. But you really can begin to fan those flames by embodying it. That's. That's the right word. And I don't know that that's going to resonate yet. I've got to find a better way to explain this. But that's the reality. When you allow yourself to embody something and you kind of, like, hype that up in yourself, yourself. The brain has this mechanism where it justifies your level of reaction. So if you're like, I'm really excited about this, and you really let yourself get excited, express excitement, then your brain is going to go, wow, this really is exciting. And so the next time you encounter that, your brain's gonna be like, oh yeah, remember, this thing really excites us. And then it becomes part of you. And that's how my mom ended up collecting cows. All right. And as weird as that is, that's where I'm tapping out without even explaining that if you really want to know why my mom's super into cows, you can hit me up at the next AMA and I will answer that question. All right, guys, thank you so much for joining me. By the way, today's episode is brought to you by the word grit. If you haven't already, go to shop.impacttheory.com right now and self signal yourself to empowerment. Get one or all of the T shirts that we offer. It's all about self signaling. It's about reminding yourself what it is that you believe. Ideology that's empowering. I believe in everything that we put out. I think that if you get it, it is going to empower you and help in some small way to make your life a bit, little bit better. You can always count on the products that we do. That is what they're all going to be about. So go out, support what we're doing. Get yourself some T shirts would be amazing. If you see one that fits somebody that you know and love, get them one too. That's how you can really show some love. Also, if you want to share this content, that would be insanely meaningful to us. So thank you guys so much again for joining me. If you haven't already, be sure to subscribe. And until next time, my friends, be legendary. Take care everybody. Thank you so much for listening. And if this content is delivering value to you, please go to itunes, go to Stitcher Rate and review us. That helps us build this community and that is what we are all about right now. Building this community as big as we can to help as many people as we can deliver as much value as possible. And you guys rating and reviewing really helps with that. Alright guys, thank you again so much. And until next time, my friends, be legendary. Take care of.
Host: Tom Bilyeu
Date: March 1, 2024
In this AMA (Ask Me Anything) episode, Tom Bilyeu tackles questions from his listeners about self-mastery, relationships, business, personal development, and more. The episode’s central theme unfolds from Tom’s provocative stance that “family should always come second”—not because family lacks importance, but because the highest purpose is self-actualization in service of your mission and goals. Throughout, Tom provides tactical advice and hard-won insights drawn from personal experience as an entrepreneur and coach.
Timestamp: 02:00 – 10:30
"Your family has to come second to what it is you’re trying to accomplish in your life if you have to choose between them."
— Tom Bilyeu [03:40]
Timestamp: 11:00 – 17:02
Timestamp: 17:10 – 20:30
Timestamp: 20:38 – 24:55
Timestamp: 25:00 – 29:24
Timestamp: 29:36 – 32:30
Timestamp: 32:31 – 36:18
Timestamp: 36:20 – 42:50
Timestamp: 43:00 – 49:50
Timestamp: 49:53 – 54:02
Timestamp: 54:05 – 55:40
Timestamp: 55:41 – 59:10
Timestamp: 59:12 – 1:02:15
Timestamp: 1:02:16 – 1:04:04
Timestamp: 1:04:05 – 1:11:33
Timestamp: 1:11:36 – 1:14:55
Timestamp: 1:14:56 – 1:23:30
Timestamp: 1:23:31 – 1:25:00
Timestamp: 1:25:01 – 1:27:05
Timestamp: 1:27:06 – 1:29:00
| Topic | Timestamp | |-----------|---------------| | Firing Your Family & Setting Boundaries | 02:00 – 10:30 | | Antifragility in Mindset | 11:00 – 17:02 | | Invisible Beliefs & Self-Esteem | 17:10 – 20:30 | | Debt vs. Investment | 20:38 – 24:55 | | Careers: Stability vs. Passion | 25:00 – 29:24 | | Persuasion & Business Acumen | 29:36 – 32:30 | | Appearance & Self-Signaling | 32:31 – 36:18 | | Becoming a Better Manager | 36:20 – 42:50 | | Nutrition & Routine | 43:00 – 49:50 | | Anxiety & Inner Critic | 49:53 – 54:02 | | Reevaluating Motivation | 54:05 – 55:40 | | Abundance & Comparison | 55:41 – 59:10 | | Early Jobs & Teenage Lessons | 59:12 – 1:02:15 | | Helping Fixed-Mindset People | 1:02:16 – 1:04:04 | | Challenges at Impact Theory | 1:04:05 – 1:11:33 | | Social Media Deep Dive | 1:11:36 – 1:14:55 | | Weight Loss & Self-Sabotage | 1:14:56 – 1:23:30 | | Health vs. Business Priorities | 1:23:31 – 1:25:00 | | Dealing with Mean People | 1:25:01 – 1:27:05 | | Want vs. Have To | 1:27:06 – 1:29:00 |
Tom’s delivery mixes tough love with empathy, is unsparingly honest, energetic, and direct. He connects each answer to actionable steps while rooting advice in personal experiences and philosophies gleaned from entrepreneurship and self-development.
Tom Bilyeu’s “Why Family Should Always Come Second” challenges listeners to prioritize self-actualization and mission over unconstructive loyalty, arming the audience with mindsets and tactics to break free from limiting beliefs, grow antifragile, and build lives of purpose—even if it means reordering traditional priorities. Throughout, Tom underscores that fulfillment and authentic progress are the only games worth playing.