Podcast Summary: Tony Mantor: Why Not Me?

BONUS EPISODE: Kati Morton – Exploring Mental Health from Therapy to YouTube

Release Date: December 9, 2025
Host: Tony Mantor
Guest: Kati Morton, LMFT

Main Theme & Purpose

This bonus episode features Kati Morton, a well-known marriage and family therapist, YouTube educator, and author, discussing her path from clinical therapy to building a massive supportive online community. The conversation centers on Kati's journey as a mental health advocate, her new book "Why Do I Keep Doing This?", and practical insights drawn from her experiences with trauma, neurodiversity, and mental health stigma. The episode aims to break down misconceptions about mental health, highlight tools for self-growth, and encourage both individual and collective healing.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Inspiration and Process Behind the New Book

Timestamps: 03:06 – 05:50

• Kati wanted to write about eating disorders, her area of specialty, but the topic evolved into exploring the concept of control in our lives.
• The original title was "It's Not About the Effing Food," highlighting misunderstandings about eating disorders.
• Through conversations, Kati realized a broader theme: "Why do I keep doing this?"—referring to self-defeating patterns, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and the ways control manifests in our lives.
• Kati: "The thread that weaves through the book is that it's all about my relationship with control and all the kind of whack a ways that it pops up." (05:39)

2. Key Topics Covered in the Book

Timestamps: 04:23 – 05:50

• Childhood experiences, parental dynamics, and formative lessons about relationships and control.
• Personal thoughts on people-pleasing, perfectionism, and shrinking oneself for others' comfort.
• The book is more personal and narrative-driven than her previous, more prescriptive works.
• Encourages readers to join her on a journey, not just follow professional advice.

3. Intersection of Therapy Practice and Content Creation

Timestamps: 06:09 – 09:32

• Kati’s specialty is eating disorders, but her work branches into anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, trauma, postpartum depression, and more.
• Realization that "nothing happens in a vacuum"—many patients have overlapping issues.
• The move to YouTube was initially a passion project, never expected to reach hundreds of thousands and millions of views.
• Community impacts: a touching letter from a mother whose son was saved by one of Kati’s early YouTube videos on suicide (07:10).
  • Kati: "...thanking me for saving her son's life because he was suicidal and he found...a video at the time about like, I think it's called suicide and honest discussion...don’t let the depression fog and the darkness, like, snuff out your light..." (07:19)

4. Journey of a Therapist: Career Path and Shifts

Timestamps: 09:42 – 12:56

• Kati describes working multiple jobs concurrently: hospital (schizophrenia, schizoaffective, bipolar), eating disorder treatment center, and private practice.
• Differences in care: hospital emphasized stabilization, team support, high-needs patients; private practice allowed her to "roll in the deep" and challenge clients further (10:26).
• Gradual transition to social media: juggled jobs for years before focusing primarily on content creation.
  • Kati: "I really wish I'd saved more before I did that. But it was time and I felt it was time." (12:52)

5. Comparing In-Person, Group, and Online Work

Timestamps: 13:18 – 14:15

• Kati notes the unique energy of in-person therapy—subtle body language is more visible in person than on Zoom.
• Online and social media work is supportive but secondary—she’s an adjunct resource for her online community.
  • Kati: "I almost see myself as like an adjunct. I'm just this add on...A piece of it. Like a more of a supportive role than maybe a primary role." (13:54)

6. Practical Tips Everyone Should Know

Timestamps: 14:32 – 16:58

• Top two life tips:
  • 1. When in doubt, overcommunicate.
    • Not over-explaining but being honest and open about feelings and expectations prevents future resentment and shame.
    • Kati: "If someone hurt your feelings, tell them. Don’t make them guess..." (14:52)
  • 2. Journaling is vital for self-understanding.
    • Getting thoughts on paper helps break negative loops and reveal deeper issues.
    • Kati: "There’s this research study from years ago that 93% of the thoughts we’ve had, we’ve had before." (16:28)

7. Turning Insight into Action: From Journaling to Real Conversations

Timestamps: 16:58 – 19:20

• Practice difficult conversations with a therapist, close friend, or even alone before broaching them with the person concerned.
  • Journal both "sides" of a planned conversation and play out responses.
• Breaking out of old patterns requires practice and support.

8. Growth as a Therapist and Person

Timestamps: 19:41 – 21:16

• Looking back, Kati is more confident, more comfortable with silence, and better at helping people open up.
• Online work has expanded her understanding of people's unspoken struggles.
  • Kati: "Some people open the door and let you right in...and other people, you have to like...find that little window in the back..." (20:33)

9. Advice to Her Younger Self

Timestamps: 21:16 – 22:27

• Don’t be so hard on yourself; accept not knowing everything.
• Embrace growth over shame.
• Try a variety of therapy modalities personally, not just talk therapy.

10. Book Tour and Platforms

Timestamps: 22:34 – 23:16

• Book: "Why Do I Keep Doing This? Unlearn the Habits Keeping You Stuck and Unhappy" (Released Dec 9)
• Book tour stops in Santa Monica, Jacksonville, and Chicago with more to come.
• Find her everywhere online: “Kati Morton” on all platforms, weekly podcast and YouTube content.

11. Self-analysis and Therapist Vulnerability

Timestamps: 23:24 – 24:15

• Kati admits to over-intellectualizing and being an "overthinker," citing the saying, “Overthinkers are under-feelers.”
  • Kati: "That’s my like defense mechanism of choice..." (23:34)

12. Therapist Humility and Online Approach

Timestamps: 24:27 – 25:25

• Kati doesn’t claim to know everything; she strives to share the journey authentically.
• Emphasizes collaboration and mutual growth with her audience.
  • Kati: "We're all human. This is all of our first rodeos. We're just trying our best, right?" (24:54)

13. Final Mental Health Messages

Timestamps: 25:30 – 25:51

• Therapy is for everyone, not just a last resort.
• Many therapists offer a sliding scale for payment—ask for it if needed.
• Kati: "I always just want people to know that therapy is beneficial for all. You don't have to wait until you're at your worst." (25:30)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On her book’s evolution:
  "We got in this conversation about, like, oh my God, I do that too...I think that's the book...it's more about control." — Kati Morton (03:44)
• On the power of online community:
  "The ability to reach people, sure, never ceases to amaze me...having the privilege of being able to positively impact someone’s life is just amazing." — Kati Morton (08:22)
• Advice for tough conversations:
  "The first time you say something that’s difficult should not be in front of the person you’re trying to communicate it with." — Kati Morton (17:39)
• On therapist humility:
  "Yes, I'm a therapist, but I don't know everything. And I'm not perfect. I mess up, too." — Kati Morton (24:27)

Important Segment Timestamps

• Intro to Kati & book inspiration: 03:02 – 04:08
• Book themes and description: 04:23 – 05:50
• Therapy and content creation background: 06:09 – 09:32
• Early rewarding moments: 07:10 – 08:00
• Career transition: 11:43 – 12:56
• In-person vs. online distinctions: 13:18 – 14:15
• Top life tips: 14:32 – 16:58
• Conversation and communication advice: 16:58 – 19:20
• Growth as a therapist: 19:41 – 21:16
• Book tour and finding Kati online: 22:34 – 23:16
• Therapist vulnerability: 24:27 – 25:25
• Final message: 25:30 – 25:51

Tone & Language

The tone of the episode is candid, compassionate, hopeful, and practical. Both Tony and Kati speak conversationally, inviting openness and emphasizing genuine connection. Kati shares vulnerably from both her personal and professional life, blending expertise with relatability.

Summary Takeaway

This episode offers listeners a heartfelt look at mental health through the eyes of a therapist who is both educator and fellow traveler. Kati Morton dismantles therapist perfectionism and explores both the messiness and empowerment of seeking control, inviting listeners to embrace change, curiosity, and courage—together. Listeners walk away with practical tools for mental health, inspiration to break old patterns, and the reassurance that everyone is still learning, including the experts.