Mrs P's Top 6 GATES OF HELL | TMT 149

Summary

Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500

Episode: Mrs. P's Top 6 Gates of Hell | TMT 149

Date: October 12, 2025
Host: Pearlmania500 (A), Mrs. P (B)

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Overview

In this Halloween-season episode of "Too Many Tabs," the husband-and-wife duo take listeners through Mrs. P’s painstakingly researched list of the world’s “Gates of Hell.” Far from being just metaphors or meme fodder, these are actual places around the globe that, due to their natural, historical, or folkloric weirdness, have been deemed portals to the underworld. From American haunted houses and fiery sinkholes in Turkmenistan to haunted castles in the Czech Republic, this globetrotting episode combines creepy folklore, deep dives into history, a dash of skepticism, and the show’s signature banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Introduction: The Premise and Too Many Gates (01:33–03:00)

• Mrs. P originally planned a focused episode about one legendary “gate to hell,” but “as I started doing research, turns out there’s a ton of them.” (02:14, B)
• The episode aims to highlight six of the most fascinating and infamous “gates,” based on Mrs. P’s research across the world.

Defining "Gate to Hell": Literal, Not Metaphorical (03:00–03:56)

• These are actual, physical locations—no internet, no Twitter hellscapes.
• “...opening up Twitter would be a gate to hell.” “Yes, absolutely.” (02:47–02:48, A & B)

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The Gates of Hell: Mrs. P's Top 6 (and a Few Extras)

1. The Bel Air House | Ohio, USA

Segment: 08:08–28:13
Key Points & Quotes:

• Mrs. P introduces The Bel Air House: “This is a haunted house in Ohio that is called the Gate to Hell because it’s so haunted.” (10:10, B)
• Allegedly built atop a ley line and near a legendary “sacred Shawnee burial cave.”
  • Skeptical fact-check: “Whenever somebody says, ‘oh, it was a Native American burial ground,’...I’m immediate, like, no, disagree.” (17:23, B)
• Haunted status fueled by a 19th-century mining disaster and local lore, including a “demon child named Emily.”
• “...Edwin contacted mediums and conducted seances…which opens spiritual portals and let several spirits into the home.” (19:49–20:01, B)
• Pearlmania500 is skeptical: “If a house is abandoned, sometimes people are still in it.” (15:41, A)
• Mrs. P wants to do a ghost hunt here; A flatly refuses, citing bad Ohio experiences: “The first time I went to Ohio, I was nearly killed in a tornado.” (26:03–26:15, A)

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2. The Door to Hell | Darvaza, Turkmenistan

Segment: 29:47–42:19
Key Points & Quotes:

• “A Soviet exploratory team...accidentally...created a huge gas crater...called the country’s most sought after site called the gate to Hell.” (31:52–32:10, B)
• The “Door to Hell” is a giant, continuously burning methane fire pit, set alight by Soviet scientists as a safety measure, expected to burn out in days, but still burning decades later.
  • Pearlmania500: “It looks so cool...like the eternal flame for JFK’s grave, but...metal.” (32:13–32:25, A)
• Spiders: “Hundreds of spiders running towards the hole...once I saw that, I’m like, you know what? Gates of Hell.” (40:18, B)
• Capitalism update: Now a tourist site, complete with yurts and safety fences (added only in 2018).
• Sci-fi tangent: “That’s a Warhammer 40K Demon Hole...now you gotta call in Space Marines.” (40:18–40:42, A)

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3. "Gates of Hell" Storm Drain | Clifton, New Jersey, USA

Segment: 44:01–55:39
Key Points & Quotes:

• Local urban legend about a series of storm drains and tunnels allegedly “home to the Devil himself.”
• “This is a storm drain. This isn’t like Devil’s Den in Gettysburg...this is a fucking storm drain.” (44:33–45:07, A)
• Colorful local folklore: “...a spirit known as Red Eyed Mike who guards the tunnel.” (47:30, B)
  • A: “He has red eyes because he’s smoking pot.” (47:39)
• “This article...made people want to go there more, right?” (48:45, B)
• After an article in Weird New Jersey, teens and thrill-seekers flooded the site, often carrying absurd weapons.
• Hilarious moment: The Clifton Police Chief writes a letter to warn that all trespassers will be arrested, because “there will be zero tolerance. If we find them there, they will be arrested.” (53:47–54:23, B)

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4. Houska Castle | Czech Republic

Segment: 58:53–82:29
Key Points & Quotes:

• “Most locals avoid the castle and the surrounding area, fearing that evil lurks there.” (60:05, B)
• Ancient site—first a 9th-century fort, then a 13th-century castle purportedly built to seal a yawning chasm in a limestone cliff: “They believed...half-animal, half-human” creatures would emerge from this portal. (61:22–61:34, B)
• The castle’s architecture is defensive—but towards the inside: “It looks as though it's...built to keep an enemy inside.” (70:31–70:58, B/A)
• Nazi occupation: The SS took over the castle—“no strategic significance in the German war effort,” but Nazis were deeply into the occult. Lore suggests sinister breeding programs or Hellboy-esque rituals (79:24–79:36).
• Dark, atmospheric folk tales: Prisoners lowered into the hole returned “stark raving mad” or didn’t survive. (81:26–82:05, B)
• Pearlmania500: “That is a gate to hell. I don’t care about anything on that—that is a portal to something...” (116:20–116:27, A)

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5. Seven Gates of Hell | York County, Pennsylvania, USA

Segment: 91:50–98:27
Key Points & Quotes:

• An old, overgrown road with seven gates, each allegedly bringing the passerby closer to the underworld.
• Two stories: one about a burned asylum, one about a sinister doctor.
• “I don’t like haunted asylums...it’s a really negative thing to do to people with mental health issues.” (93:03, B)
• Mrs. P’s research finds no historical fire or asylum, but does find doctor with a weird sense of humor who “put up signs threatening people to not come down his road,” peppered with toad jokes (96:39–96:49, B).
• Ultimately chalked up to classic “whisper-down-the-lane” urban legend: “It’s a campfire story.” (97:57–98:00, A)

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6. The Catacombs | Paris, France

Segment: 99:00–114:10
Key Points & Quotes:

• More than 6 million bodies moved into a labyrinth of underground ossuaries beneath Paris after cemeteries overflowed in the 18th century. (99:51–100:03, B)
• Bodies moved every night for years, resulting in a grim spectacle and the “Gate to Hell” entrance called Barrière d’Enfer.
• “Bodies would just, like, float to the top one day and have to be stomped back down.” (101:04–101:06, B)
• Some of the fat from bodies was rendered into candles and soap: “If you’re going to make corpse wax candles, you’re going to use them wherever.” (103:08, A)
• Early access points eventually closed for safety; modern explorers (“cataphiles”) still sneak into illegal raves and found hidden “cinemas” under the city—“imagine going to a Eurotrash rave and you’re surrounded by skulls.” (113:48, A)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Highlighting Speaker & Timestamp (MM:SS)

• “[Ohio] is so haunted...ghosts, Nazis, a demon child named Emily.” (01:56, B)
• “You can find dots on a map, and connect them. People do it all the time.” (11:00, A)
• “Why are we doing stolen valor in Ohio? Why Ohio have coal mines? That’s a Pennsylvania thing.” (13:08, A)
• “Standing around the rim, you can feel intense heat emanating from the hole.” (35:44, B)
• “[In Turkmenistan,] a drunk farmer drove his tractor into the hole.” (37:26, B)
• “There’s a spirit known as Red Eyed Mike who guards the tunnel.” (47:30, B)
• “All the knives you described are dead mall Asian store knives...a kimono, a glass case full of weird knives.” (51:07, A)
• “[Houska Castle’s] defenses...are actually on the inner parts...it looks as though it’s not being built to keep the enemy outside; it’s being built to keep an enemy inside.” (70:31–70:58, B/A)
• “The SS took over the castle. No records. It looks like a castle from a movie where commando units have to stop Nazis from opening a portal.” (75:24–76:17, A)
• “He would make these threatening signs [in York PA], but...would write them with a lot of toad-related humor.” (96:49, B)
• “The [Paris] cemeteries were taller than man. The pressure...squishing below in the dirt and coming out into people’s basements.” (100:28–100:57, B)
• “I don’t want to go to Ohio.” (59:09, A)
• “Some locals believe that a Soviet threw a hand grenade in there.” (36:40, B)
• “That is a gate to hell...that is a portal to something into a dimension we can’t even imagine.” (116:20–116:27, A)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Mrs. P reveals the “Gates of Hell” topic: 01:24–01:41
• Defining physical gates vs. metaphorical: 03:00–03:56
• Bel Air House in Ohio: 08:08–28:13
• Turkmenistan’s Door to Hell: 29:47–42:19
• Jersey’s “Gates of Hell” storm drain and the police chief’s letter: 44:01–55:39
• Houska Castle & folklore: 58:53–82:29
• York County, PA Seven Gates: 91:50–98:27
• Paris Catacombs: 99:00–114:10
• Final rankings of the list: 115:41–119:18

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The Final Rankings (by Pearlmania500)

(115:41–119:18)

1. Houska Castle (Czech Republic): “They built a castle to keep whatever they think is in it, in it.”
2. Catacombs of Paris: “Even if it isn’t a portal, it’s still terrifying.”
3. Turkmenistan Door to Hell: “That is cool as hell.”
4. Bel Air House, Ohio: “I’m putting it higher...autostrip of Ohio, Pennsylvania, and New Jersey barely even showed up to the game.”
5. Seven Gates, York PA: “The woods is scary. Solely just because the woods as a portal sucks.”
6. Clifton, NJ Storm Drain: “That is a fucking stormpipe in New Jersey. There is nothing spooky about that.”

Mrs. P: “I agree with your list completely.” (118:50, B)

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Tone & Style

• Playful skepticism mixed with love for spooky folklore: Both hosts enjoy the stories, but regularly fact-check, poke fun at local legends, and highlight the sociocultural context.
• Personal anecdotes and running jokes: Whether about ghost-hunting aspirations, cranky New Jersey cops, or crackheads squatting in Czech castles, the episode is peppered with memorable asides and callbacks.
• Interactive spirit: Listeners encouraged to debate the rankings: “When we get done with this list, tell us how you would rank them, 1 to 6.” (08:35, A)
• Halloween/Spooky Season energy: Frequent references to “ookey spooky” vibes and seasonal chill.

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Useful Takeaways for Listeners

• The world is full of “Gates of Hell,” but their origins often combine geology, history, and folklore.
• Many legends are fueled by local anxieties, architectural oddities, catastrophic events, and opportunistic tourist marketing.
• The modern “gate to hell” can be just as much about illicit raves in Paris tunnels as about crater fires or abandoned haunted houses.
• Ultimately, just because a place is famously haunted, doesn’t mean it’s mystical—but it may make for a great story on a long car ride.

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End Note

If you love spooky stories told with wit, skepticism, and a dash of affection for weird local legends, this episode—equal parts research and riffing—delivers. And if you have your own gate to hell to add to the list, let them know how you’d rank them!

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For more:

• New merch: “Miscellaneous Immorality” T-shirts (06:03, B)
• Mrs. P’s new Ghost Hunting YouTube: "If I get followers, I'm gonna make this happen." (119:18, B)
• Support via Patreon at Pearlmania500.net

Remember: “Too many tabs, remember to smile!”

Transcript

[A]

Morning, Zoe. Got donuts.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

$15 per month equivalent required. New customer offer, first three months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile.com, today we're going to cover the gates of hell.

[A]

Like the metaphor of gates of hell?

[B]

No, no, like actually the gates of hell. They're all over the world and I've researched all of them.

[A]

But there's multiple gates of hell.

[B]

Yeah, there's some in Pennsylvania, there are some in Russia. There's one in New Jersey. That's not a surprise. That's.

[A]

That's not a surprise. I think that. I think that. I think New Jersey itself is a gate to hell. Yeah.

[B]

Also, they have all different types of things at the gates of hell.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Ghosts, Nazis, a demon child named Emily.

[A]

Emily?

[B]

Yeah, Emily.

[A]

Huh. Too many tabs. Remember to smile. Welcome to Too Many Tabs, a podcast where a husband and wife duo sit next to each other at a Table.

[B]

I was gonna write an episode about the gate to Hell, which is a place. And then when I started doing research, turns out there's a ton of them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I started looking into all the different gates of Hell. We have too many openings and portals is what I'm gonna say. But then I started thinking, as human research, which ones are my favorite?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And I want to go over with you some of my favorite gates to Hell.

[A]

And these are physical locations, right? These aren't, like. Because, like, to some people, hell is other people.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[A]

I've heard that saying. And honestly, looking around the world, bars also, we're not talking about stuff like Internet destinations, like, because some people opening up Twitter would be a gate to hell.

[B]

Yes, absolutely.

[A]

You know, things along that nature. These are actual physical locations that have been labeled as gates to Hell by either peoples or researchers or tourist guides.

[B]

And they're all over there. The Skeleton coast in Namibia. Devil's Gate in California. The river. The Acheron river in Greece. Do you. Have you heard that one? It's like the Greek mythological one.

[A]

It's not the River Styx, though. There's a different one.

[B]

This is a different one.

[A]

Okay, got it.

[B]

There's Pluto's Gate in Turkey. The Heckle, A volcano in Iceland. There's a lot of volcanoes. When humans see a volcano and all that lava and red fire, they go, I think that's a portal to hell.

[A]

Like, that's full of demons.

[B]

Yeah, that's definitely where. Hell. Yeah. But also, on the flip side of that, in Russia, there's a place called the Batta Gakka Slump, which is considered a gateway to hell, but it's in Serbia, and it's a frozen ice hole that was made by a meteor. So, I mean, listen, the thought of a Serbian permafrost hole, that is a personal gate to hell, that's too chilly.

[A]

I just want, you know, Serbian ice hole. That sounds. That sounds like a toy. Yeah, that sounds like. That does not. So is that the whole list? Did you just read the whole.

[B]

Those are just some of the ones I looked into this. Not even my top six.

[A]

Oh, wow. Okay. So that. Oh. Oh, wow. You just fired off a bunch. You're, like, saw them. Didn't think they ranked.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, that's kind of what happened.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

And some of them are, like, dedicated to the God, Roman God Pluto. Mythological creatures.

[A]

Roman God Pluto, also known as Hades in Greek. He's played by James Woods.

[B]

The Hercules movie.

[A]

Yeah. Famous guy who was accused of trying to date minors on Twitter a few years Ago. James Woods.

[B]

I didn't. I didn't know that.

[A]

Yeah, Yeah. A few years ago when James was like, I'm a conservative now all you are woke. And this lady went, remember when he tried to date me when I was a child?

[B]

And he was like, oh, that seems like his head flames out of it. Yeah.

[A]

Did I ever tell you James Wood said he was like that pro mania guy? One of the good ones. No, I'm dead serious. When I first started blowing up on like, remember, Remember all those years and years ago when I first blew up on TikTok?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Someone ripped my TikTok and they put it on Twitter.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he reacted to it and legit was like this. This is. They're starting to wake up. The Dems are starting to wait. The lids are starting to wake up. No, I was complaining about Nancy Pelosi.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Fuck.

[B]

I mean, fuck Nancy Pelosi for life.

[A]

Yeah. But. But it's also one of those things where, like, I can complain. Just because I'm complaining about a Democrat doesn't mean I'm going to become a Republican.

[B]

They don't understand that.

[A]

No, they don't.

[B]

They're in the cult and they're like, you have to follow the supreme leader.

[A]

Yeah. You have to follow the supreme leader. If you're not following the supreme leader, then you're against him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because that means that you're an anti.

[B]

Fascist, which is not okay. We're not doing that.

[A]

You're right. I'm sounding much like my other podcast with Phil DeFranco called Crashing Out.

[B]

Don't you dare.

[A]

Listen, I just plugged my other podcast, Phil DeFranco. Can I also pl something that is happening in front of everyone's eyes right now?

[B]

If you're looking at this on YouTube, you are seeing something incredible.

[A]

And if you're listening to us right now, I want you to scroll down to the description of this podcast and click on the link for. Guys, you did it. You did it. New merch baby.

[B]

I made this one myself.

[A]

New merch baby.

[B]

By highly requested miscellaneous immorality T shirts.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

And there's many items on the T shirt. There's a can of soup for our family. There's potatoes because we all love potatoes. We have a picture of John Brown, which I put a little kiss on his cheek. John Brown.

[A]

And most importantly, there's the board. That's right. Mrs. P spent a long time on Canva figuring out how to show the board.

[B]

Yeah. And also how to put post its on it.

[A]

Yes. And you did a Very good job. It's a very nice one. It's right. We're. We're listening. That one. Bonfire. Yeah, that is. The link will be up in the description. The description for everybody there. If you would like a miscellaneous immorality T shirt, which is a callback to the Christian Maga.

[B]

Yeah. The website that did all the rankings of movies. That's an incredible episode.

[A]

That was from a few months ago. But yeah, I'm wearing. I'm wearing this in a comfort colors. And you're actually wearing it in a crop top.

[B]

Yeah, I got a crop top version. It's a mauve and crop top.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. So that's.

[B]

I love a crop top.

[A]

Yeah, those are great. Also, just while we're doing plugs.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Just a little bit of a plug section, guys, and then I swear to God.

[B]

Are we gonna call the plug?

[A]

No, that's. No. Come on. All right. This isn't about booger sugar. This is about comedy. I am opening for the wonderful Walter Masterson at Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia on October 30th. Again, we'll have that link down below. And that's. That's what I got for plugs, obviously. Just maybe one more.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

Pearlmania500.net where you get all our Patreon needs now, Mrs. P. I have edged everyone enough on this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I feel like they're edged close enough that they are ready to enter through a portal to hell. Now, let's go ahead and start off with number six on your list of the best gates. Is that the way I should say it?

[B]

I think I didn't. I.

[A]

Should we say your favorites?

[B]

These. I don't want to say they're my favorites. That's weird because there's some things that happen in this that I am not co signing. Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But. And these are not in the order yet because what I did is I picked my top six.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'm gonna tell you what they are.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And then you're gonna decide what the numbers are.

[A]

Okay. Got it.

[B]

Okay. I wanted to bring you in, you know, I wanted to give you some ability to make decisions about this.

[A]

Thank you for doing that.

[B]

You're welcome.

[A]

That is so rare these days for you from me. Just for anybody to just say, you know what? I want to include you.

[B]

I want your opinion.

[A]

And real fast to the listeners and the viewers. Everybody else would love to hear. When we get done this list, tell us how you would rank them, 1 to 6. As Mrs. P goes down these.

[B]

Yeah. Let us know your faves.

[A]

So tell me about.

[B]

So here's where it started.

[A]

So the first one I'm going to guess is going to be very, very exotic. An exotic location somewhere. I'm going to picture someplace that's like the side of a mountain and it's a cave, and in front of it there used to be guards, and. And there was the feeling of this is where they sacrifice children. And we can read that by. By finding the chewed up bones with little tally marks in them.

[B]

So anyway, this one's in Ohio.

[A]

Okay. So I was wrong. Okay. I was wrong. I. Ohio is. You know, I'm gonna throw some out there. To some people, Ohio is exotic.

[B]

That I am concerned for those people.

[A]

I have met people who immigrated to Ohio.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

And I said, it couldn't have been that bad back home. And they're like, it was that bad. They're like, it was that. It was so bad that Akron seems nice.

[B]

Shout out to Akron. Okay, so here's what happened. The original idea for the Gates of Hell again, because it's. It's Ooky Spooky month. I don't know if you know that. It's Ooky Spooky Month.

[A]

So it's Spooktober.

[B]

Yeah. But I also didn't dive deep into it. I didn't want to name it that way.

[A]

We're not going that hard into October this year.

[B]

There's a lot going on.

[A]

There's a lot.

[B]

Oh, a lot going on. Oh, we gotta. We're not. We're not even gonna acknowledge.

[A]

We're just. Just. We're just gonna say we.

[B]

Our prayer candle has entered the table.

[A]

Thoughts and prayers to Dolly Parton.

[B]

We're gonna. We keeping her in our heart.

[A]

We're putting good energy towards her.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Okay, okay, okay.

[B]

Don't say anything else.

[A]

All right?

[B]

Okay, so listen. The Bel Air House. This is a haunted house in Ohio that is called the Gate to Hell because it's so haunted.

[A]

Gotcha.

[B]

And this is where I started. This was the thing I wanted to write the episode about.

[A]

Oh, you want to do a whole episode just about the Bel Air House?

[B]

Yes. Because I was like, it's Halloween ish time. It's Ooky Spooky season. Let's do a haunted house. But then when I started looking into the gates of Hell, I was like, oh, my God, there's so many.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God. This must have released all these demons that are in charge right now. Anyway, the Bel Air House is located near the Ohio river in Bel Air, Ohio okay, got it.

[A]

Is Ohio named after a river or is the river named after Ohio?

[B]

I don't know. Oh, okay. So this house is full of paranormal activity, okay. Because it's situated on what's called a ley line. Have you ever heard of a ley line?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's an alignment of through the Earth, which is various ancient sites and landmarks and structures that create invisible lines of Earth energy and magical power.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I. Okay. Before we go further into ley lines.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You can find dots on a map and connect them. Yeah, People do it all the time. You can find dots on a map, and that doesn't mean there's more than you drew dots on a map. Because right now, I just want you to know right now, they did ley lines in the most recent Star Trek.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Star Trek. Strange New worlds. There's like, a whole thing about ley lines, and it lived. It actually. Like, it created a schism in the Star Trek community.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Because some people are like, listen, I'm okay with you being like, we had to reverse the polarity, and then we can go do transporters better. But once they're like, ah, there's a galactic ley lines. There was a.

[B]

God damn it, get out of here.

[A]

Come on. I. There's also a Bright Eyes. Do you remember them? The musician, Bright Eyes.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

He has, like, a whole song about going out to areas with, like, ley lines and stuff like that. And I was like, all right. And listen, I love a Santa Fe, New Mexico. I'm a big Santa. I want to be a Santa Fe, New Mexico girly. Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I want to cover myself. What's that jewelry?

[B]

Turquoise.

[A]

Turk. I want to be covered in turquoise. I want to wear a straw hat and, like, with a big belt buckle around my gingham dress as I ride a big bicycle. I want to be that lady.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Someday I will.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When you're gone and I'm a widow. Because, listen, there's. I'm announcing a lot of things, but, like, that's a very ley line place. And when I'm there, I'm like, yes. Yeah, I understand. If I'm at Stonehenge. Ley lines. Sure. I get it. Stonehenge is very much a feeling.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But Ohio.

[B]

Yeah, Ohio.

[A]

There is not a single ley line in Ohio. I want to throw that out.

[B]

How dare you? This house is a focal point of spiritual and earthly energy.

[A]

Okay, sure.

[B]

Now, the. The reason it has a reputation for being haunted is a couple of reasons. One is linked to a coal mine explosion that happened in 1893 next to the house that claimed 42 lives.

[A]

Okay, first thing, rip to the miners. All right? Big ups to the miners. Why are we doing stolen valor in Ohio?

[B]

What do you mean, why?

[A]

Why Ohio have coal mines? That's a Pennsylvania thing. And you're gonna tell me, oh, some coal miners died in Ohio, and that opened a portal to hell. Pennsylvania. How many dead coal miners we got?

[B]

We got a bunch.

[A]

We got a lot of dead coal miners being around. And, you know, we're not out here being like, this random house is a portal. Okay.

[B]

Okay. So I'm gonna. I'm gonna read you a description that I found of the house. At first glance, the house appears to be an unassuming structure which perched above a coal mine. A portal. A spiritual portal. However, once inside, it becomes clear that the house is unpredictable. It can take you back in time or feel like you're in a horror movie riding the spiritual surf of the metaphysical overload. This isn't just the opinion of paranormal investigators. Even the locals have dubbed it the most haunted house in the planet.

[A]

The locals of Ohio said that this is the craziest thing they've ever seen in the world. Yeah, can we. I want. I just want to. Mr. Third, can you pull up the amount of people who own a passport in America? Can I see the percentage of the amount of people who have a passport in America before I judge what Ohio thinks the most. The most thing.

[B]

I feel like the numbers are going to be boosted because after the recent election, a lot of people went and got passports.

[A]

Oh, it's actually 45 to 50. I always heard it was, like, 30%.

[B]

Yeah. But I'm saying, I think that after the last election, a lot of people went and got their pass.

[A]

Well, I mean, we famously updated our. Like, we didn't sleep that night.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They were like, pennsylvania goes to Trump. And I said, we got to get to. We got to get to the post.

[B]

Office in the morning immediately.

[A]

And we did. We did. We rushed to the post office.

[B]

I think we saw someone's appointment. We did.

[A]

They weren't there. And we said, we'll do it.

[B]

We'll do it. It's ours.

[A]

Yeah. It felt very much Titanic boat.

[B]

So this, the Bel Air House, ranks alongside infamous haunted locations such as the Amityville House, the LaLaurie House, and the Rampant Street Murder House.

[A]

Wait, the Rampant Street Murder House?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is it a street of rampant murders, or is it a house that's on Rampart Street?

[B]

It's both. It's both situation. Okay, so even during its years of abandonment Neighbors reported seeing figures inside the house peering from its windows, despite the house being locked and unoccupied.

[A]

Okay, all right. I don't know these people. Again, I'm going to go with Ohio on this one, because I don't know if you guys know this. If a house is abandoned, sometimes people are still in it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like, hey, nobody's using that house.

[B]

You know, we could use it for hair plug. Oh, I thought we're calling the plug a callback.

[A]

I was just going to yell, Harold.

[B]

Yeah, I know. You shouldn't yell that on YouTube though, right?

[A]

Yeah, I shouldn't say it that many times.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. Okay, so let's talk about Jacob Hetherington. How's that name sit with you? Jacob Hetherington, a respected coal mining tycoon.

[A]

What? No.

[B]

No, we can't respect coal mining is.

[A]

A respected coal mining.

[B]

That's how it's listed. Jacob Hetherington, a respected coal mining tycoon, built the Bel air House in 1847 near a sacred Shawnee Native American burial cave.

[A]

Wait, show me this house real fast. You have. You. You have an image.

[B]

Let me pull it up.

[A]

Yeah, can I just see what this house looks like? Because I just need to see what an A team. It just looks like a house.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If it's from 18. When? 1897.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That doesn't look like 1897 house to me. That just looks like a house. Okay.

[B]

Next to a Native American burial cave. These caves and the Ohio River's magnetic pull create a powerful portal for spiritual activity. The land, once the site of Native American rituals, still holds residual energy from past events, including the French and Indian wars, which left a lasting imprint on the area.

[A]

I feel like Adam Sandler on SNL as the old man, as Chris Farley, as his wife reads the Zagat's guide right now. That is exactly how.

[B]

That is exactly how our podcast is a lot of the times.

[A]

Is that our podcast?

[B]

That's a lot of our podcasts. I fact check this because whenever somebody says, oh, oh, it was a Native American burial ground that is such. I'm immediate. Like, no, disagree. Yeah, you're lying. You're using this idea of Native Americans being almost like otherworldly, and you treat it.

[A]

They treat a lot of the haunted house stuff treats Native Americans like they're elves in Middle Earth.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Oh, something happened and they had to leave. Yeah, something happened. Was the Trail of Tears.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The genocide.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's so many horrible. Like, why do you need to pull them into your weird fantasy because they.

[B]

They say, oh, well, I'm 1 8th Cherokee.

[A]

All right, Elizabeth Warren.

[B]

So I fact checked it. Okay. Okay. So Native Americans, the Shawnee. Native Americans do believe that there are sacred sites in Ohio, but they're not burial caves. They're called burial mounds.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And I looked it up. The most famous one is called the Serpent Mound in Ohio, but it was not built by the Shawnee. It still considered a sacred site by the Shawnee because they are ancestral treasures.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So the thing is, I then fact checked where that's located versus where the Bel Air House is located, and it's a four and a half hour drive away.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So this house is not on.

[A]

So it's one Ohio daily commute to your job.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's the difference for our international listeners. If you live in America, you will not live close to your job. Yeah. Your commute will be the length of this podcast. That's why this podcast is.

[B]

You should be listening this on your way to work.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or your way home.

[A]

Yeah. And if you're listen to us on I on Apple podcasts or Spotify. Five stars right now. Five stars. All right.

[B]

Also, you can listen at work so you can steal a little money from your boss.

[A]

Yeah. And if you don't like the ads that play, join us on Patreon.

[B]

Okay. So then I believe a descendant of our original, totally likable coal mining tycoon, a woman named Lyd L Y D E. I feel like her name is Lydia, but they messed it up.

[A]

Maybe it's lied.

[B]

Yeah. Or like they. You know how like the old. It's all like the old Jaime script. Yeah. And they just read it wrong.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Anyway, this lady Hetherington died of a heart attack in the house, in the living room. And her brother Edwin contacted mediums and conducted seances in attempts to contact his sister.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Which opens spiritual portals and let several spirits into the home, including one which disguises herself as a small child named Emily.

[A]

Is this the demon you were talking about?

[B]

A little demon girl named Emily?

[A]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This is starting to feel like I'm just. I'm literally just reaching and going like, that's from this movie. That's from this movie. That's from this movie. Now, I would have a question of whether or not these movies.

[B]

House existed first, then movies based on house.

[A]

Yes. Okay, I understand that the house existed first. But did the stories around the house exist before the movies? Much like gray aliens. Gray. The look of the gray alien wasn't around until close. Like, wasn't as wide scaled until Close Encounters of the Third Kind. When that movie came out, then people were like. And then I got it. They were just like, in that movie before that, they were always like, green. Green little dudes.

[B]

Yeah, little green.

[A]

They're little green guys. And then suddenly they became gray with big black eyes with no pupil.

[B]

And the Smoking man was there going. You didn't see nothing more?

[A]

The Smokey man, who is, weirdly, the cuck of the X Files. Always in the corner, sitting in that hotel.

[B]

Also, I like the idea of this guy's sister passes away and he needs to talk to her so bad. Ask someone with a sibling. What are you talking about?

[A]

Hey, what's her name again? Liddy.

[B]

Liddy. To Edwin.

[A]

Edwin. Hey, Liddy. It's Edwin. Have you seen my car keys? Yeah, I. I look. I looked there. Have you seen. Oh, okay. The board's moving. Says no.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You're a bad medium. Get me another medium.

[B]

Hey. Hey, Liddy. Do you remember Aunt Tony's birthday? I feel like it said this month, but I don't remember the day. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

He just needed. He just needed Facebook and a Google calendar.

[B]

Yeah. So, also. Okay, this also adds to the layers. The Bel Air house had a history of servants, obviously rich, rich people, Rich Richard people, many of whom were named Mary. And according to local lore, one particular Mary had a child within the house. And it was rumored that this child's bloodline was crucial in strengthening the entity residing there. Documented evidence suggested that a servant's child was lured to the attic window and tragically fell to his death. This tragic event repeated with another child, and so on and so on.

[A]

Okay, is that true? Because you just said lore. You just said.

[B]

I think. I think it's lore. I couldn't find any truth behind it. But also, I love the idea that they're like. Many of the servants were named Mary when I know for a fact this rich guy hired somebody, her name was Mary. And then when he accidentally fired her in a rage of anger, he. The next person he hired, he just kept calling her Mary. Yeah, because that's what rich people do. I've worked with enough of them.

[A]

The same way that all of Batman's little boys are called Robin. Like, it's just one of those things. Come here, Mary. My name's Jan. But whatever, this is the best paying job in town.

[B]

All they have to deal with is bats.

[A]

Also, I think that the story they tell of the little child falling out the window, that's the guitarist Eric Clapton. Yeah, that's Just the Eric Clapton baby story. Did they hear tears from heaven? All right, let's go to the. Let's go to the Bel Air house and play Tears from Heaven and listen to the demon Emily weep.

[B]

Okay. So again, Edwin, and contacting his sister, has opened multiple spiritual porters within the Bel Air house. While the exact number of portals is unknown, it is suspected that many remain active today during itc, which is instrumental trans communication sessions. Edwin's spirit suggested that he unintentionally created these portals, allowing entities to cross into the physical world.

[A]

I am. I'm trying real hard right now, babe. I just want you to know I'm trying real hard right now.

[B]

I'm obsessed.

[A]

I know you love a ghost hunt.

[B]

I love a ghost hunt.

[A]

You want a ghost hunt so bad.

[B]

I do so badly want to start my own YouTube channel. I just. Ghost hunting.

[A]

I know. And you've. You've talked to me about it repeatedly. And I said, I don't want to go to an abandoned house.

[B]

I'm telling you, you're not coming. I'm having other people that are going to be my ghost hunting crew. And I'm going to get specialists and we're going to have the E readers and the little light bulb drawns and the flashlight blinkers. It's going to be so fun. You're not going to be there.

[A]

I don't want to be there. I know.

[B]

You're going to be home with the child and the dog.

[A]

I will be home with the child and dog. This sounds.

[B]

So when I go to Ohio to go to this house to do a.

[A]

Ghost film, can I tell you this? Actually, I'm for it now. I'm for it now. I am. I will co sign you and a crew of ghost hunters and two friends of yours that I respect. Yeah. Okay. I want to have two friends of yours that I feel are reliable.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I don't know these ghost hunters. I don't. I'm going to throw out there. I don't trust a ghost hunter. Wow. All right.

[B]

I talk about Kesha's mom like that right now.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Because I'm going to call Keshe's mom.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Also, did you know that Brittany Broski's mom is a professional ghost hunter?

[A]

What the fuck, Howard?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. So I need Brittany Broski's mom. I need Kesha's mom. I need. I need the ma. The ghost hunting moms of the world to be with me. Other ghost hunting mom.

[A]

Okay. How about I could maybe get you drew off Wallow's. Mom.

[B]

Oh, what?

[A]

We're mutuals on TikTok.

[B]

You and drew off wallows.

[A]

Okay. So there's a little secret. I follow everyone's mom. If I figure out a famous person's mom on and I find out that they follow me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I immediately follow.

[B]

So you wait until they're following you. Yeah.

[A]

No, no, I don't, I don't hunt them down.

[B]

I was gonna say that's. That's weird.

[A]

I look and I'm like, who's this person? Like, I. I'll go to it. And I'm like, what I do is I go to somebody's page and I go, I like this person. Who do we have in common? And then I look at all the follow backs on their list of. Of who they're following.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I go, oh, who's this person? I click. I'm like, that's your mom.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Your mom follows me. Why don't you follow me? I follow your mom. So it's like, it's that your mom also is very nice.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If your mom's into ghost hunting, maybe call me. Hit me. I. I don't want. Listen, we don't need a hangout. Take her.

[B]

Take me.

[A]

Take her. She needs to get out of the house.

[B]

I need a reason to leave.

[A]

She desperate. I would, I would, I would like to make one request.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I would like you to not go to Ohio.

[B]

Feel out of all 50 states, just no ghost hunting in Ohio.

[A]

No, no, it's just, it's. I've had the last two. I've been to Ohio twice. The first time I went to Ohio, I was nearly killed in a tornado.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because a tornado whipped through the area and I had to shelter inside of a bye bye baby store.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which was crazy because I was like, I'm about to die in a pun.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the tornado, like passed like down the street.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like we could see it. It was very, very insane.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it was a harrowing experience because I was doing stand up at an anime convention and then nearly died on the. I was like. I was like, cool. Got out of that and then immediately almost died. Yeah. The second time I was in Ohio, I was fired as a professional wrestling ring announcer.

[B]

And why were you fired? Okay, tell them. Tell them why you were fired.

[A]

So I cursed on the mic immediately. Like it was. The second sentence I said was an.

[B]

F. They were like, the only thing you have to do is not curse.

[A]

Like, this is a family friendly show. And I was like, I feel like most of the of you in here will have allegations and be me too in a few years. And I was right. I was right.

[B]

Anyway, so maybe I won't go to Ohio anyway. The house has been passed from one family to the next according to local or the families move out quickly due to activity in the home.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Until it landed in the hands of Kristen Lee, the current owner. After experiencing paranormal activity in the house herself, including an instance where she says a spiritual entity grabbed her dog and threw it across the room. She then began renting the house out to paranormal investigators and ghost aficionados.

[A]

Wait, she rents it out?

[B]

Yeah, I looked it up. I can pull it. I can Airbnb this, John.

[A]

You can?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, you can. Verbo.

[B]

And then I'm gonna get that list that tells me I have to clean up. And I'm beating so mad. I feel like that wasn't even. It was a polar guy.

[A]

I even knew that that was the demon Emily.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Demon Emily did that demon Emily made the walls bleed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I shouldn't have to clean up after the demon.

[B]

Demon Emily's blood walls. Get out of here.

[A]

All right. Okay. I'm.

[B]

I think we should take a break. And we come back. We're going to go to term stand.

[A]

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[B]

I love it because here's what's happening. Sometimes as a busy mom, I do forget to take my multivitamins. Okay. I forget a lot. But with this, I just add it to water, mix it up, drink it down, and it's like I took my multivitamin. It's incredible. And such a time saver.

[A]

That's great. AG1 has gone through multiple gold standard clinical trials, so you know you can trust them. In an industry where not everyone invests heavily in research, AG1 is continually investing in rigorous peer reviewed clinical trials to give you the best of the best head to drink. AG1.com tabs to get a free welcome kit, including a bottle of vitamin D and free AG1 travel packs when you first subscribe. That's drinkag1.com tabs. It's Turkmenistan.

[B]

Yeah, you're right. I just got really excited.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Darvaza. Have you heard of Darvaza? Turkmenistan?

[A]

No, I've never. So Turkmenistan is actually like this whole. This who region of the world is really interesting to me. And it's actually like, it's one that I was never really taught about. But then as I started learning more about Alexander the Great's conquest and Persia and like that area between India and Iran, there's like this incredibly rich culture of like east meets west and the Bactrian Greeks. And Tamerlane. And Tamerlane and all these other different people. Like, it's an area that, like, I very much would love to visit and I feel. But is it is a little bit more dangerous than Ohio?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because it's like run by like brutal, brutal dictatorships that don't put on comedy festivals yet.

[B]

Oh, yeah. But when they do, I will do.

[A]

I will do the Turkmenistan Comedy Festival. Put it down right now.

[B]

I think you shouldn't agree to that because I'm just telling you now that the portal to hell is there. The gate to hell is there. Yeah.

[A]

No, that's great.

[B]

Let me.

[A]

That's great. No, no, no. I want you to understand. You just told me you want to go to Ohio. I want to go to Turkmenistan. I want to walk around ancient sites. Also. A lot of these places, they look, you want to. This is the one thing, this is why I don't like our current dictator here. Our current dictator here doesn't like. Like, he likes building big gaudy things, but not the way of a Central Asian dictator. Yeah, Like, I'm talking about giant sword statues, big highways that have no cars on. You know what I mean? Like, give me an authoritarian mega complex.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? And everything's white marble. Why? I don't know. Because I'm the dictator of Turkmenistan. I was just here when the, when the Soviet Union fell and everyone said, I guess you do it. And I was like, all right, I have the passwords to the laptop.

[B]

Okay. So speaking of the Soviets, Okay. A Soviet exploratory team of geologists were drilling for natural gas in Turkmenistan.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

This is like 50 years ago.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. They accidentally maybe set off a chain reaction which created a huge gas crater, a giant fiery hole that eventually became the country's most sought after site called the gate to Hell.

[A]

Oh, I have heard of this one. It's like a tourist thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's. It looks so cool.

[B]

It looks really cool.

[A]

Look at that on the image right there. It's a giant hole with flames shooting out of the middle of it. For the listeners, it's like, it looks just like a really. It's like. It's like the eternal flame for like JFK's grave.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But like metal. It's like. Because it looks cool. It's a natural gas, like fire pit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That is. Never goes out because it's just this leaking gas.

[B]

Okay, well, well, don't jump ahead on me now.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

The Soviet geologists accidentally collapsed a natural gas chamber while drilling.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Fearing that it would release poisonous gas, they set it on fire, expecting it to burn out quickly. Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But their plan didn't work. And the crater has been on fire ever since.

[A]

It's like. It's a giant natural gas pocket.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Huge. This feels very much also like Centralia, Pennsylvania. What about, you know, Centralia? No, centrally, Pennsylvania has. Going back to the Ohio story from last one.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

There's a mine underneath Centralia.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the mine caught fire and has been burning this entire. But the mine was underneath the town.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so the town is on top of it. And so like there's. I. I don't know the entire thing. I've been there. You're not supposed to go to certain areas of it. And I was with a buddy of mine who's a geologist. He's like, it's fine. I'm like, tony, I don't know. And he's like, listen, be cool. And I was like, ah. That's all you have to really say to me?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's just be a dude named Tony and be like, listen, be cool. Everything under here is on fire. Don't step over there. Your shoes might melt. And basically, like, it's, it's a danger to the structures in the town.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So they've slowly evacuated the town over time. Yeah. And like, I think like, there's like a disaster thing and everything there, but it's kind of similar where it's, it's just going to be on. On fire forever. They don't have a way of like shutting it off. Yeah.

[B]

So here's another thing. Turkmenistan has no official record of the incident with the Soviets because Soviets famously maybe didn't keep records. Maybe admit to some stuff.

[A]

Well, especially in. Because, I mean, this is the one thing that always drove me crazy about like during the Cold War, a lot of people would be like, the Americans are imperialists. They're not like our glorious Soviet leaders. Like Turkmenistan was a. Conquered.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

By the Soviet Union as part of. Because they kept it as part of the Russian empire.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And so areas like Turkmenistan, Kazakhstan, a bunch of other different areas were abused the same way Ukraine was.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Were abused by the, the Russian Soviet leaders. And so when the Soviet Union fell apart, areas like that, they didn't care because. Didn't give a shit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because it would be. It's then honestly, they treated Turkmenistan the same way our current administration treats Puerto Rico. Like it's. That. That's the kind of visual I want you to have about it. Of like. Yeah, they would do some stuff over there and then they would use it for propaganda purposes.

[B]

Like.

[A]

No, no, look, we're were nice to the Turkmen. Are you? Are you. You lit their country on fire and then left.

[B]

And then left.

[A]

That's. That's pretty wild.

[B]

It's not great.

[A]

I think they also like destroyed a sea.

[B]

What?

[A]

They like drained a sea in a really dumb way that I don't know.

[B]

Anything about that was. That would create a gate to hell though, if you. Because then if you remove all the water from it.

[A]

Yeah, no, they like drained it was. They've done. They did a lot of. They were like, oh, let's try this because of science.

[B]

So the gate to hell phenomenon is caused by methane fueled flames escaping from the vents in the crater wal. Walls.

[A]

You know, sometimes I have methane fuel vents escape from my crater walls. And then you tell me to sleep in another room.

[B]

Standing around the rim, you can feel intense heat emanating from the hole. That was the next line I wrote before you said that.

[A]

That's after I have wings. Yeah.

[B]

It's especially dramatic at night.

[A]

Hey, oh. Hey, oh. Hold on. Air horn.

[B]

The crater is roughly 230. 30ft wide, just like me and 100ft deep at least.

[A]

Hey, you know what? Sometimes they come from your gut.

[B]

The. Okay, so the other thing is like that people. Because there's no record of how this happened. Right. They just have like general ideas of like the Soviets were involved. Other than that, we don't know. The. A lot of locals have really funny stories and lore about how it was lit because again, they, they get this gas pocket and then like, we'll just light on fire and burn it out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's like, which, which, which oil.

[A]

Explorers do often when they're like, you'll see them like burn off and stuff like that. It's to burn off the dangerous fumes. Like that is normal.

[B]

Yeah. But some people locally believe that a Soviet threw a hand grenade in there.

[A]

That sounds very funny.

[B]

Very funny. Some say Soviets just threw a match. I also believe that. I believe that. I believe that's like, light a cigarette, throw the match. I think that feels very Soviet.

[A]

I think they were standing from distance smoking a cigarette and flicked it and went, oh, no. And, like, as it flicked into the air and it, like, explodes.

[B]

Yeah. They're like.

[A]

That's how I view it because I've known so many smokers who would just be casual where they flick the butt.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was never one of those. I always wanted to put it out because especially when we're in drought season.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I was always terrified to, like, flick it and, like, light, like. Oh, no. This is how the greatest forest fire in the history of Pennsylvania ever happened.

[B]

Yeah. It can't be you. Yeah, it can't be me.

[A]

That can't be me.

[B]

And some locals actually have a story that a drunk farmer drove his tractor into the hole at some point, and that's what started the fire.

[A]

That's the one.

[B]

That's the one.

[A]

That's one we're going with.

[B]

I think it's drunk farmer.

[A]

I want drunk farmer on a tractor. Drive it directly into. It's in the gas.

[B]

And I think it's very funny because a lot of the images you see because it's in the desert there, people ride camels. Like, if you're going there as a tourist, you ride a camel there. Oh, now I'm picturing camels and tractors. And that's. That's a funny thing my brain never did before.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Never pictured a tractor and a camel together.

[A]

I wonder if they do tractor camel poles.

[B]

Oh. Oh, my God. That'd be so fun.

[A]

Yeah. We went to a tractor pool. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

It was something.

[A]

It was something.

[B]

It was something.

[A]

It was an event.

[B]

Some of us got sick because they ate onion rings. And then a gate to hell opened up.

[A]

Yeah. Well, you know, I had gunion rings and some french fries.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the baby enjoyed the tractor pool.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So, okay, the. In the desert, the crater is a stop for almost every tourist that comes there. Like, it's the biggest draw, kind of. And when travelers first started going there, there were no service centers for visitors or amenities. You had to bring everything you needed for an overnight stay. So it was really like a camp out next to this giant fiery hole.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

But because capitalism, there are now three permanent camps with overnight accommodations, yurts and tents.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

As well as meals and motorized transportation to the crater rim for those who don't want to walk.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And a safety fence was added in 2018 to keep visitors from venturing too close. I love that they had to put a fence up.

[A]

I love how late the fence came.

[B]

Yeah, that's pretty late, y'. All.

[A]

Yeah, that's. That's pretty late.

[B]

I think a few people fell in.

[A]

I think they did too.

[B]

I think at a certain point they're like, hey, listen, this is our only big tourist attraction.

[A]

This the only. Hello, welcome to Turkmenistan. Would you like to see our fiery hole? Like that is. Ah, no fence. Ah, you know. But to be fair though, I still haven't been to the Grand Canyon. I gotta do.

[B]

Oh, we gotta go there.

[A]

We gotta go to the Grand Canyon one.

[B]

Okay. So there was the one more story that I thought. Thought was really funny about this specific gate to hell.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Is that there's a. Apparently a big issue with spiders there. And the thing is that there's. Spiders are attracted to the hole and then throw themselves into the hole en masse. And much like moths to a flame, these nocturnal spiders are attracted to the light so much that they're lured to the rim. And I guess they get overheated and fall in. And scientists have been studying it and like, there's no proof this happens except for that people, when they go there, go. I just keep seeing all these spiders running towards the hole. Holes, the giant fire hole. And I'm like, honestly thinking of a giant hole in the middle of a desert bursting with flames. I like, okay, that's a natural thing. And then once I saw hundreds of spiders running towards the hole, I'm like, you know what? Gates of Hell.

[A]

No, that's immediate gates. No, no, that's a Warhammer 40K demon hole. Yeah, that's a Warhammer 40K Demon Hole where spiders start sacrificing itself until like some weird. I don't know if that's slaanesh or zinc. One of those two. That's got to be a weirdo chaos God. Yeah, just giant spider thing cops that pops out of the ground. And now you got to call in space marines.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they're shooting at them. And then you're watching Imperial Guardsmen just get cry. I can see all of this in my vibe. We need to close this Turkmen. No, this fighter sacrifices need to end now. We need to cap this this immediately. I don't think they understand. We are open to the warp. The God Emperor is not here on his golden Throne to shut this down. We are in danger. Danger.

[B]

Also, have you ever seen a camel spider?

[A]

Oh, my God, yes.

[B]

So, like, what if they're camel spiders?

[A]

I don't think that I. I know that there's more. Iraq.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Camel spiders are more in Iraq. I don't. Which is closer to Turkmenistan than we are. It is on the same continent.

[B]

Yeah. They have camels, therefore there could be a camel spider.

[A]

No, no, I think the name is camel spider.

[B]

Don't Google camel. It's scary.

[A]

They're terrifying. I had friends of mine who were stationed in Iraq and many of them when they first came back with pictures of them.

[B]

No, thank you.

[A]

Because they had like, pictures printed. They're like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And as them holding it like the.

[B]

Same way, like they were crab. Like a fish?

[A]

No, like a horseshoe crab. Yeah, like when people find horseshoe crabs on the the beach, especially down Delaware, they're like, hold up. Look at this weird thing. It's a weird, big instant dinosaur. They're massive. Huge and terrifying.

[B]

So, okay, guess what? You know how you're like, oh, it's gonna burn forever and blah, blah, blah. The thing is, a lot of scientists believe that this gate to hell won't be around much longer because the the government has admitted that the flames are starting to go down. It's running out of gas.

[A]

So we need to go there now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you guys need to join our patreon at a rate you've never joined before so I can finance our trip. So Mrs. P can ghost hunt the gate to hell in Turkmenistan.

[B]

I don't know. I think I'd rather go to Ohio haunted house than see spiders run towards a hole in a desert.

[A]

I just you to know, like my sleeping in a year, like my good, close personal friend Dave Chappelle said. Oh, maybe we need to go to the authoritarian dictatorship to find out exactly where free speech really is.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Because I'm going to tell you where it is in Ohio.

[B]

Okay, let's leave Turkmenistan and let's go to another gate of hell after this break, because I want to take you to the scariest place in the world.

[A]

Where's that?

[B]

New Jersey.

[A]

And Doug Limu and I always tell you to customize your car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. But now we want you to feel it. Cue the emu music. Limu. Save yourself money today. Increase your wealth. Customize and save. We save. That means have been too much feeling. Only pay for what you need@liberty mutual.com. liberty.

[B]

Liberty. Liberty.

[A]

Liberty Savings Ferry underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates excludes Massachusetts from the Cascades to PDX to your kitchen. We recycle like we live here. That's why governments, brands, and recycling companies are all joining together to bring change, to make recycling better. As in trusting that your recyclables end up in the right places to be made into new things and having brands help fund the cost of recycling. You can find the Latest [e-mail] Oregon, from Mount Hood to the bin under your desk. Together we can do this. So let's recap real fast. We've been to Ohio and then Turkmenistan.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And now we're going to New Jersey.

[B]

That's right. Home of the blueberries and tomatoes. Let's go to New Jersey.

[A]

The Garden State.

[B]

Yeah. So I was looking up the gates to hell, obviously, because now I'm in a deep dive. This is how this happened. I've got a lot of tabs open.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I'm looking at all the different gates to hell, and there's one in a town in Jersey called Clifton, and apparently it's a pat. It's a. The opening to a passageway of a network of underground tunnels and storm sewers that some locals say is home to the devil himself.

[A]

It's his storm drains.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

Okay. No, I'm gonna go just. I'm just saying no on this one immediately. Can I just say that?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because. Okay, creepy house. Whatever. Creepy house, Right? Haunted house, giant burning hole in the ground. Okay. You're at least gonna get the tourist name. Gate to Hell.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is a storm drain. This is a storm drain. Okay. This isn't. This isn't like Devil's Den in Gettysburg park, where it's a series of rocks where people thought they saw the devil in there. This isn't one of those, like, a natural formation. This isn't anything else. This is a fucking storm drain.

[B]

Okay? So it's a very old tunnel with arched stone ceilings about 8ft high. And the light quickly evaporates behind you as you enter and are soon enveloped in total darkness.

[A]

Oh, yeah, because it's a fucking storm drain. You're just describing a storm drain. It's not even that old. It's New Jersey old. Like, what is that when they build it? 18. 1880. 1880 in Clifton, New Jersey, we built a storm train. Yeah, it's probably. It's.

[B]

It's probably 1980.

[A]

We're like, yeah, come on.

[B]

Well, here's what happened. I found a website called Weird New Jersey.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And I basically just pulled their article about this because it was the only place I could find information about this gate to hell in New Jersey.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

Okay. And basically the person who writes this article basically agrees. And it's like local teenagers have told stories about the gates to hell and these tunnels and people going, going in there and never returning.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

How they witnessed satanic sacrifices, decaying carcasses, upside down crosses and satanic graffiti.

[A]

Okay. So some punks in the 80s went in there, smoked a couple joints, and then somebody watched the Lost Boys. And in the middle of the satanic panic, and then slowly, slowly over time, the kid. When you get to middle school, you're told, don't go there. They might sacrifice you. O. Also, the pool is on the third floor. Fuck out.

[B]

Most chilling was a secret room that's many layers under the ground. This room was only to be entered if you possessed powers that enabled you to lift the axes that weighed thousands of pounds that blocked the door.

[A]

That is Thor's hammer from Avengers. That is Thor's hammer from the Avengers. This is just children getting. This is just children catching people getting high or fucking in a tunnel.

[B]

Inside this room was a dungeon that housed a human skull. Or so it was said.

[A]

Or so it was. Or so it was said. Or so it was said. Or so. Oh. Oh. You know what happens in there? They do experiments or it's an empty room. Oh.

[B]

It's also said that there is a spirit known as Red Eyed Mike.

[A]

Oh, cool.

[B]

Who guards the tunnel.

[A]

Red Eye. He's high. His eyes are red because he's smoking pot.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

He has red eyes. Cause he's high. Watch out. Red Eye Mike might get you what it'll do. He'll tell you about how the world might be flat and the edge of it is surrounded by an ice wall. You gotta listen to him because, well, what else are you gonna do?

[B]

If you knock on the railroad ties above the entrance. Entrance in groups of three, you will hear a loud horn sound from within the tunnel. This is the sign that Red Eyed Mike is coming.

[A]

You're making me mad. Yeah, you're making me mad.

[B]

Okay, so here's the thing. I. I wanted to tell you all of that stuff from the article because I thought.

[A]

Oh, that's all from the weird New Jersey.

[B]

The weird New Jersey article. Okay, that is basically. Basically the whole article.

[A]

Okay, got it.

[B]

They're. They're setting the to. Here's the thing, like we have stated. This is just a local sewer area where a bunch of teens probably go to smoke cigarettes and weed. Yeah, Right.

[A]

And we're in the Finger Bang Tunnel.

[B]

Finger Bang Tunnel.

[A]

That's where we're at.

[B]

And this article came out and it made people want to go there more, right? Because they're like, oh, there's Satan and Spooky and Red Eyed Mike and blah blah.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's early Internet stuff on like a website like Weird New Jersey Jersey used to get a lot more traffic than probably does now. And so people were like, oh. And became mini, mini viral.

[B]

Yeah, viral. So to the point that the police chief from Clifton, New Jersey sent a letter to the weird New Jersey team.

[A]

Shut up.

[B]

And I have the letter and I think that's the funniest thing I want.

[A]

To read to you that the police had to get involved. Yeah, okay, that hit me. Hit me with the letter. Let's go.

[B]

Good afternoon, Mark. I am currently in charge of gangs and street crimes. Up until two weeks ago, I had never actually observed the exact location known as quote, the Gates to Hell. It was brought up to me by our city manager with reference to serious issues concerning this location. Over the years I have arrested several people that have traveled to this location to observe the place known as quote, Gates to Hell. Previous to this past week, I did not arrest these individuals for defiant trespass. I arrested them for weapons possession. This is to include double edged daggers that with curved blades on each side of the dagger, small swords, butterfly knives and other weapons that I don't even know how the hell to describe. These individuals were from Suffern, New York, Morristown, New Jersey and other locations that escape me at the moment. Yesterday we received another phone call that there were individuals at this location. Again, members of my unit. And I responded and found six individuals trespassing. They were from Cherry Hill and Merchantsville, New Jersey. They were all arrested for being defiant trespassers.

[A]

Hold on, I need to give. I looked it up when the early one is right. Clifton, New Jersey is in North Jersey. It's actually like north of Manhattan. The way New Jersey is drawn on a map. Yeah, we know Cherry hill. That's why Mr. Third just started laughing so hard. Cherry Hill is where the mall is and also where the, the Cherry Hill Marriott is, where there's a lot of conventions like Monster Maniacon we went to. I've been to some Star Trek conventions there and some others. So the fact that someone drove from Cherry Hill, it's a long drive. And also, can I just say, all the knives you were describing, those are, those are dead mall. The dead Mall Asian store knives.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A butterfly knife, curved blade, trades these Are all things that they bought on like, Temu and then resell to people, like in the store. It's a store that has like five dying bonsai trees.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A kimono and then just. Just a glass case full of just the weirdest knives. And I'm sure the butterfly knife had that weird hologram sheen.

[B]

Yeah. The blue one.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. You know the one?

[B]

I know the one.

[A]

These. I'm just gonna let you guys know. Every single knife that was listed by the police Chief of Clifton, New Jersey is a knife that Mrs. P would put back in the knife bush. Yeah. This is not something that she would accept as fair trade.

[B]

Not fair trade.

[A]

Mrs. P does not believe in trash. Ornamental double edge blade knives like these.

[B]

I just need a switchblade that is as big as my palm and not bigger.

[A]

Yeah. Because that is a felony. That's there. There's a certain. There's a certain size that she's like, here's the thing.

[B]

This. I'm not saying do crimes. I'm not saying do crimes. I'm going to start with that.

[A]

We are saying. We are.

[B]

This is a comedy history podcast. I'm not saying do crimes.

[A]

We are saying be gay. Be gay.

[B]

What I am saying is, is that a knife, a switchblade, that is the size of my palm. Let's say I get arrested and a cop checks it, he's gonna have a bigger hand than me. So I always add like an inch. I always add like an inch because the cops gonna check it's gonna be his palm, not my palm. You know what I'm saying? See, look at that. I got extra space, bigger knife. Anyway, where'd I leave off the chair? The Merchantsville and Cherry Hill, New Jersey guys are arrested. They were arrested for being defiant trespassers.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

One individual was also arrested for weapons possession. He had metal knuckles, a large curved 10 inch Bowie type knife, and another 6 inch Butcher type knife on his side.

[A]

Can I. Can I say also, the reason why all these guys have knives is because they are. They don't have enough money to have guns. Yeah. These are guys. This is early on for a lot of them where they're like, ah, a gun that's inelegant, elegant.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I can picture all of these. These are also all Snake dudes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Can I say these are all Snake van guys. I can picture them in my head of like, I got big knives I got off the QVC store.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The big bowie knife is crazy because I have that right over there.

[B]

Yeah. It's not over there anymore.

[A]

It's. Oh, you moved it. Where'd you take my big bowie knife?

[B]

I'm not telling you.

[A]

Oh, we got it when we were in Pigeon Forge.

[B]

Yeah. Because there's the biggest knife store in the world there.

[A]

And they had a lot and I went crazy. You went. Went very crazy. You bought a shirt that said knives on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pigeon Forge, home of Dolly Parton.

[B]

Love you.

[A]

Give her.

[B]

When all the above individuals were asked how they found out about this location, they all replied, weird New Jersey dot com.

[A]

Hey, that's a good plug.

[B]

I read your magazine and read your disclaimer, which is very clear. I am asking you, if possible, that on your website site something can be added with reference to the gates of hell, indicating that people that go to this site will be arrested, all caps at minimum, for defiant trespass. All caps. I am not happy about arresting youths or young adults because they were curious about this location. But because of the criminal mischief, damaged property, and numerous weapons possession arrests, there will be zero tolerance. If we find them there, they will be arrested.

[A]

Hey, I.

[B]

The letter made me laugh so hard because I just picture this, this old Jersey cop being like, they just have so many dumb knives. They just have so many and dumb knives.

[A]

You know, it is. He is one of those small town cops. Yeah. Small town chief of police who did the classic. Carl, get out of here. Carl, go now. I don't want to arrest you.

[B]

You.

[A]

Yeah, all right.

[B]

Carl.

[A]

I don't want to do with this. I'm just trying to, like, he's. This is like the keep the peace type of cop. Yeah. So it's like one of those. And so he's just like, God damn. Another. What do you mean there were six of them? What the fuck? Typing that. That's even a functional knife.

[B]

Why would you bring a butcher knife to a sewer?

[A]

Yeah, this is.

[B]

What are you doing?

[A]

You think. Oh, oh, you heard that there's a super shredder down there. You heard there was a sewer. Who do you think you are, Raphael? You have two sides. Yeah, yeah. I love also. I love also getting mad at weird New Jersey and not the knife store. This is such a. Such an American cop thing to do. Put up a big sign. If you have weird knives, we'll arrest you. Yeah, but also, now you're making it. I'm gonna tell you something. This is America. You told me what not to do.

[B]

Now I want to do it. I want to do it now.

[A]

I'm tempted.

[B]

Let's take a little break.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And when we come back, we're going to go to the Czech Republic.

[A]

Ooh, exotic. Morning, Zoe. Got donuts.

[B]

Jeff Bridges, why are you still living above our garage?

[A]

Well, I dig the mattress and I want to be in a T mobile commercial like you. Teach me. So Dana.

[B]

Oh no, I'm not really prepared. I couldn't possibly at t mobile get the new iPhone 17 Pro on them. It's designed to be the most powerful iPhone yet and has the ultimate pro camera system.

[A]

Impressive. Let me try. T mobile is the best place to get iPhone 17 Pro because they've got the best network.

[B]

Nice. Jeffrey, you heard them.

[A]

T mobile is the best place to get the new iPhone 17 Pro on us with eligible traded in any condition. So what are we having for launch?

[B]

Dude, my work here is done.

[A]

24 monthly bill credit is on experience beyond for well qualified customers. Plus tax and $35 device connection charge credit send and balance due if you pay off earlier. Canceled finance agreement. IPhone 17 Pro 256 Gig $21,099.99 a new line, minimum $100 plus a month plan with auto paypal, taxes and fees required. Best mobile network in the US based on analysis by Ooklip speed test intelligence data 1H 2025 visit t mobile.com if you want a relaxing night. For once, you need Indacloud. Indacloud makes legal hemp derived THC products that get the job done. Pick up some gummies, exotic flower vapes and pre rolls. All strong, tasty and shipped discreetly. I've gotten some samples from Indecloud and I want to say I was in the clouds. It was a good time. As you guys know, right now, the world is spiraling quickly out of control and sometimes daddy needs to not look at his phone and daddy needs to take a little nap and daddy needs to go away into a separate room and howl at the moon like a dog. And that is what I do. Sometimes I get into cloud and you know what happens after that? I get a little bit better sleep. And if you're looking for better sleep, they've got a gummy for that. Want a light buzz? They've got a gummy for that. If flour's your thing, they'll do $80 ounces all year long. No flash sale, no gimmicks, just an actually good deal. Every product is tested at a DEA certified labs and ships straight to your door. No sketchy dispensary runs, no guessing what's inside. Indecloud has got what you need. If you're 21 or older, grab 30% off your first order, plus free shipping when you press in. Code [e-mail] that's I n d a C L o u d code tabs for 30% off free shipping and snacks that suddenly taste like an adult Michelin Star meal. Fill out their quick survey when you order to support the show. Please enjoy responsibly. And huge thanks to Indecloud for sponsoring today's episode. And we're back. And again, if you don't want to hear any ads, always join us at promania500.net and you know, if you join on the Patreon, you can always access an RSS feed over there that you can then put into your favorite app so you don't have to listen to it on the Patreon app. It's a really, really great way to enjoy the pod and also enjoy your favorite podcast listening apps. Now, Mrs. P, you are now going to take us at this halfway point.

[B]

Yes. Yeah.

[A]

To the beautiful Czech Republic, a place I've actually always wanted to go.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's weird. I wrote this list of the gates to hell, and it seems like just a list of places you want to go.

[A]

I. I stated very clearly I don't want to go to Ohio.

[B]

Where we're going to go to these places. All of them. Right.

[A]

I don't want to go to Ohio.

[B]

So the Czech Republic.

[A]

There's two places I'm going to list now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Maine and Ohio.

[B]

Now leave Maine out of this.

[A]

I'm never leaving.

[B]

Lovely.

[A]

We have a lot of fans remain.

[B]

Yeah. Because Maine is a cool place.

[A]

Yeah. I disagree.

[B]

Is there any haunted houses in Maine? Yeah, let me know in the comments so I can do my ghost hunting.

[A]

It is fucking where Stephen King is from. Yeah, that's. Maine is like Stephen King land.

[B]

I saw Stephen King at a grocery store once in Vermont. Anyway, there's a castle in the Czech Republic called Castle Huska.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

H O U S K A Houska.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Oh, that's a cool image of it. Mr. Third. Just put an image of it up on the.

[B]

It's an ancient stone structure that has held notoriety in the region for millennia, basically for a long, long time. Most locals avoid the castle and the surrounding area, fearing that evil lurks there.

[A]

Oh. So this feels very. This is very Dracula's castle.

[B]

Yes, very Dracula.

[A]

This is very. The villagers are like, stay away from there. The hilltop is where the demons live.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So the first known structure existing on this site was A small wooden fort from the ninth century.

[A]

Ninth.

[B]

Ninth. That's how far back this goes.

[A]

Oh, so we're going back. Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. This is. We're finally getting into, actually something I feel like could be a gate to hell here. I'm saying we're going to fort on this area.

[B]

A four in this site in the 9th century. And a gentleman whose name I'm going to butcher. Vaclav Hajek wrote. He published chronicles about the area in 1541.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

In the Chronicle, he recounts a legend about a huge crack at the top of the cliff. It's a limestone cliff, and there's a big hole in it, and it's really, really deep. And everybody locally felt that this deep hole in the limestone was a source of strange visitations. And local residents even back then described this as the hole to hell. And the villagers avoided passing anywhere near it after dark.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

They believed that strange creatures, half animal and half human, could come forth through this portal and kill livestock and wreak havoc in the night.

[A]

Ooh. Like a Czech chupacabra.

[B]

Yes. Yes.

[A]

Oh, I like this. This. Okay. All right. This is the first one. All right.

[B]

Yeah. They also believe that any person who passed near the site was himself in danger of being changed into one of these creatures of the pit. They attempted to fill the hole in the stones repeatedly, but with no success. As it swallowed everything, they dropped down it with no visible effect.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

So it's just, like, unimaginably deep.

[A]

It's an unimaginably deep hole. And they were like, all right, we'll throw boulders in. We'll throw stones in it. And they just never heard it land.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And they, like. They really over, like, kept putting rocks and stuff, and they kept filling with dirt, and it never filled up. And there's, like, a. How deep is this thing?

[A]

Yeah. That's crazy. I like this one. Can I tell you, I'm also picturing this, like, you know when you watch, like, a European scary movie.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where there was, like, one a long time ago. I think it was from, like, Denmark, where it was, like, early Vikings kings came to America. I think Mads Mickelson's in it, but it has very much that weird, like, not cicada, but, like, there's, like, a hum thing where, like, they'll stare at something too deep.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And, like, you could feel, like, from the lens, their soul gets sucked into the hole they're looking at, and the void stares back at them. That's how I could see, like, these Czech villagers being like, oh, yeah. Oh, and they're German, probably because there's a lot of German. There was a lot of Germans in Czech area the time. Oh, the hole is so deep, and the cattle and, like, they have nothing. There's no video games.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's. They don't have books. Many of them are illiterate. Right. So it's like just these villagers with their. Oh, no. Scary hole.

[B]

So I'm in this.

[A]

This might be a portal to hell.

[B]

A gentleman named Harad Huska.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He's the one who constructed the. The main castle that is now there.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

In between the years of 1270 and 1280.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

During the reign of King Otakar II.

[A]

But I tell you something.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Congratulations. You just listed a series of names I've never heard of.

[B]

Hell yeah, dude. That's how old this is.

[A]

I know, but, like, King. Was it King Otakar or Odakar or however they want to say. I never even heard that name before. I. Yeah, like, like, like, honestly, if you told me that we. I was reading, like, Conan the Barbarian is fighting King Otakar ii.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'd be like, this writer sucks. I'd be like, that's a bull.

[B]

And yet you don't question the name Jessica in D. Dune. Okay. The crack in the limestone was covered with thick stone plates. And what happened is. So they build the cat. Are you still mad about the Jessica joke?

[A]

I'm not. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. You know, whatever. I'll get over it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's a. Cause, there's like, the Jennifer issue.

[B]

What's the Jennifer issue?

[A]

There's. The name Jennifer has existed a lot longer than what most people expect, and so sometimes it shows up in, like, Elizabethan era stuff.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But Jennifer feels like a very 1980s name.

[B]

Yeah. Like guys named Courtney.

[A]

Yeah. No, but guys named Courtney goes back further.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right. But, like, if you're reading a story that.

[B]

I'm just saying that in Dune, everybody has weird, interesting names except for Jessica.

[A]

The main character's name is Paul. I mean, the main character's name is Paul.

[B]

But then what does the name come.

[A]

Because Muadib. There is. Okay. But that's just because it's a melding of cultures over time.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

We're talking about Odakar the Second.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

King Otakar ii. So he covers the whole thing in giant stone Plateska. Oh, okay. He.

[B]

When he's building the castle.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In order to cover the crack, he just uses thick stone plates kind of like what they do with the pothole.

[A]

Like giant slabs.

[B]

Yeah, slabs.

[A]

I just want you to know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What you're describing. What they do with the pothole is specifically a Philadelphia thing.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Most of the country fills the pothole. Only in Philadelphia do they carry like giant 12 by 12 metal plates and.

[B]

Then drop them on top.

[A]

That they drop over on top of the massive pothole that's opened up in the middle of the street that they do not fill for two years.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That everyone on that street has to hear ring like a giant gong throughout the rest of their life as they can feel their landlord raise their rent.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That is a Philadelphia thing.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right. Yeah. But, but, but there is a thing of giant. It's so it's giant stone slab slabs.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

To cover them.

[B]

To cover the massive hole.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Because they're gonna seal the hole to hell. Right?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And then what he did was they constructed the chapel of the castle over top of the hole to hell.

[A]

Right, Got it. Okay. Okay. So this is very much like the. Like the. The Temple of the Rock.

[B]

I don't know what that is.

[A]

Jerusalem. Oh, okay.

[B]

I do know what that is.

[A]

Okay. So the Solomon's temple was originally in that. Supposed to. Originally in that location.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And on inside of it there is a rock and you can still see it in the. In the Temple of the Rock.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When you go there, there, that is supposed to be the stone where Abraham was going to sacrifice his son.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

That is supposed to be the altar in there. And so it's that same sort of idea of like, we want this holy site and there's the Temple of the Sepure and all these different things like in. In Jerusalem. Which is why everybody fights over it all the time. Cuz like, this is the exact spot I'm like, ah, might maybe, I don't know. But in this case. So they put a chapel over it as like a double ward.

[B]

Yeah. And they dedicated the chapel to the Archangel Michael because he is the leader of God's armies who fights the devil, who fights the hordes of hell.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. So here's the interesting thing, right? There's they painted all over the walls, obviously frescoes. And there's, you know, pictures of Archangel Michael fighting dragons and other scenes of like him with swords and fighting evil and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And the day of the Last judgment, all this. And they're all depicted on the walls. However, the thing that's strange is that one of the walls, there's a figure like, that's Unlike any other found in paintings of that time.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

There is a creature who has the upper body of a woman and the lower body of a horse holding a bow in. A bow in her right hand and her left hand is aiming at a human figure. Right. And this is unusual because you don't find representation of centaurs in this area, especially not in a church.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Also, being left handed in the Middle Ages was associated with Satan. So it's this idea of this female centaur who's left handed. This is a symbol of those half human animals that were believed to emerge from the gateways of hell.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And. And women usually aren't described as centaurs for the most part. Centaurs are crazy because it took a while to like really process this thought. But the idea of a centaur being half human, half horse is because horses were being introduced to these cultures in. In the West. So like centaurs, especially when you think. So when we mentioned Turkmenistan earlier, like Tamerlane, Genghis Khan and all these different guys from the plains, they were horse people. Yeah, right. They didn't like have horses to that level in Greece. Greece is very rocky.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In Czechoslovakia, all these are like, horses had to be introduced. And so most of the time you saw a person on a horse from a distance.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If you've never seen a horse before and you saw a man on the back of a horse from a distance, you'd be like, I recognize the top half is clearly a man. Man.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But it has four legs. And so that description becomes centaurs over time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's the same way like when. When the explorers and the conquistadors and others came to the Americas again, they didn't have horses in that way. So when they came over, like, you can see the descriptions of them from the giant wooden ships and all this different stuff. They try to make it fit with the world they know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so that's like where these, these myths kind of come from.

[B]

From.

[A]

And so in their case, they're like, it's a half human, half animal. And they go, well, the Greeks had one like that and that would be.

[B]

And you're like, what is the devil?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A woman.

[A]

Yeah. And then eventually J.K. rowling takes it and uses sexual assault as a weapon of war in her own narratives.

[B]

Okay, okay. So.

[A]

Yeah. No, we don't. Harry Potter, don't. I. What it's left in the movies. It's very.

[B]

We all know what she wrote.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And she sucks.

[A]

We all Know what they wrote?

[B]

Whoa. Okay. They k. Rowling.

[A]

It was very funny. It was the.

[B]

Oh, it was so.

[A]

It was a very, very.

[B]

With the haircut. Oh, my God.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Very good. So interestingly. Okay, this is interesting. You're going to love this. Okay. When they built the castle. So I've already talked about. The chapel is over the hole in.

[A]

The limestone, and the chapel is inside the castle.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Got it. Okay.

[B]

But the castle itself, when they were building it, the stones kind of.

[A]

Of.

[B]

They're. They're tilted inwards. The stones are tilted inwards. Right. So it has almost like this rounded shape to it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And all of the defenses that you would put in a castle, because, again, it's a defensive structure.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Are actually on the inner parts of the castle. Meaning that it looks as though it's not being built to keep the enemy outside, it's being built to keep an enemy inside side.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Like a. Like a weird prison.

[B]

Yes. It's a. It's almost like it's a reverse castle in that it's not projecting defense.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's an offensive castle.

[A]

On itself.

[B]

Yes, on itself.

[A]

That is.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I think this might be the one.

[B]

You think?

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

It's crazy.

[A]

It's crazy enough, though, that they were, like, scared. I mean, I. I need. The thing about castles. Right, Right. Is castles. I. People think about them as, like, these structures. Castles are basically battleships.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's an area where you project power not just from defensive, but also on the area around you. So in England, in particular, the. The. The English kings. It. There was more castles in Wales and as you go north than there are in, like, the central area there. And it's not for defense. It's because. Because these were the areas that they would store their troops and things like that to then run out and attack the locals and to project power on. On them in this certain way. When you look at America, like the forts that we build across the U.S. those forts were there so that way they could go after natives or they could go suppress populations or all these different things. The fact that they built one. Imagine if we built a battleship and its whole job was to make sure nothing left. The Bermuda Triangle. Yeah. Like, that's what this is.

[B]

That's what it feels like.

[A]

Exactly what this is. Have the battleship Bermuda Triangle in the Czech Republic that's been dropped on a giant hole that people said weird creatures have been crawling out of for centuries.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

And someone was like, it. I'm gonna. Because that had to be. This is like back then, we're talking about hundreds of hours of manpower to just design and build and do this. The treasure to build it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Think of the people of like, having to move the stones in the place to do all this.

[B]

Years of labor.

[A]

This is a decade of labor.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Because it, it. The. The hole felt weird.

[B]

Yeah. Bad vibes in that hole.

[A]

That's a bad vibe hole.

[B]

So in the 17th century, around the time of the Thirty Year War, the castle was empty. Right.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And.

[A]

And the 30 year old. But that was massive. That was like. That was the equivalent of a war. War in Europe.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

A Swedish rogue commander with a brigade of mercenaries named Arento made the castle his headquarters. He was reported to be a black magician and alchemist who performed unsavory experiments in the castle.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Not only this, but during the time of his occupation of the castles, the soldiers and mercenaries became a terror to the local village people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so the local village people got together and they only had, I guess, two hunters in the whole village that were willing to risk it all. And these two guys. Guys went through the woods in the middle of the night, fearless of the consequences, and snuck up into the castle and killed Oronto through a window. And supposedly the lore says that he was working in his laboratory when they did it, and he was trying to discover the elixir of eternal life.

[A]

Okay, I don't believe that, but I do believe that there would be a guy who would take over a castle.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like that. That. It's so funny. This is a Czech Republic. Because this. My. One of my craziest stories that I've ever heard involves a castle in the Czech Republic. But keep going, keep going, keep going.

[B]

So the other thing is. And I. I know I showed you a picture of it. Picture is that it's. It's in Bohemia, so it's really not near anything.

[A]

Yeah, it's like the mountains, too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like it's in the middle of nowhere.

[B]

It's the middle of nowhere. It's not like when. When you're saying earlier you're saying like you're building castles in these strategic places to project power. To project power and like, do military things. Things. This castle is not doing that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And also there's so much forest around it that people won't go into.

[A]

Yeah, right. So it's like armies don't march through forests in that way.

[B]

Yeah. And like the local, like, it's not a castle in the traditional sense. It's just in the Middle of nowhere. It's not protecting anything. There's not like the classic castle where it has like a town attached to it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's not that vibe at all. Yeah, right.

[A]

It's just a big building.

[B]

It had middle of nowhere strategic significance. Significance.

[A]

Okay, got it.

[B]

Okay. Now in 1939. Oh, till 1945. Oh, the Nazis.

[A]

There it is.

[B]

Went to Czechoslovakia.

[A]

Yes, they did.

[B]

And the German SS took over the castle.

[A]

The. The SS took over the castle.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, they know. Okay, so again, much like the Soviets throwing a grenade in a fire hole.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We don't have documentation. There's a lot of records missing of their. Of what the Nazis were doing in.

[A]

The Slovakian Gate to Hell Castle.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So we don't. Nobody historically knows what they were doing there because they destroyed all records and evidence of their activities. But again, this castle is of no strategic significance in the German war effort.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So there's no reason for them to be there. However, as you know and I know and probably your listeners, Nazis were historically really into the occult.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And the thing is, is as you showed me this picture of the castle, it looks like a castle from a movie where super, like, where like commando units have to go stop Nazis.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

From opening a port. Like, like, this is the castle where a Nazi.

[B]

Honestly, Indiana Jones would have to stop some stuff here.

[A]

I. Okay. What were they doing at the castle? Castle.

[B]

No one knows.

[A]

I have a guess.

[B]

Okay, go ahead.

[A]

Can I tell you? Yeah, they were. They were. They were conjuring Hellboy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is like exactly what they did in it. The beginning of Hellboy is the Nazis using occult science to conjure Ron Perlman. Not my relative. Conjure Ron Perlman, like, as a baby Hellboy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Who is supposed to bring about the end of the world. Like, this is straight up Hellboy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is crazy. And this, you put this in the middle. This is the middle of your list. All right.

[B]

Okay. So when I was looking up, like, what were they doing? Why were they there?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Why were a lot of people believe they were trying to discover supernatural weapons to use against the Allies? Because historically, Heinrich Himmler. Right. He was the one. He was super into the occult and he was always trying to find supernatural ways to attack the Allies.

[A]

Yeah. He was a weirdo incel guy who was like, oh, you know, yes, science is cool and everything, but have you ever heard of odin? Yeah, let us get the Spear of Destiny. Like, he just was one of those dudes where he just constantly felt like, like, like, like if you read in the comic books, like a lot of the stuff, especially as of a comic book that's set in the 40s, a lot of the weird occult that they're going after is typically because of like weird Heinlich Himmler was interested in. Yeah, they did a lot. I mean he added a lot of the pageantry on there and a bunch of other stuff. I mean, this is stuff the History Channel used to cover back before it all became Ancient Aliens.

[B]

Yeah. Oh my God. I love Ancient Aliens though, that show. So when I was looking at the. The website for the castle itself. Because it does have a website.

[A]

Okay. Got it. The same way the gates of the Ohio.

[B]

You cannot rent it out like an Airbnb. I checked. I think we can visit there though.

[A]

Oh, we can.

[B]

I think maybe. Well, I'll tell you a little bit later.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Why maybe we wouldn't want to, but. So from their website. This is a quote from their website. This is not me saying this.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It has also been proposed that Houseka was one of the SS's selective breeding farms. A location where young women of acceptable blood were given stud service by able bodied SS troops in the ongoing effort to breed the master race. End quote.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So that could be why we needed a castle in the middle of the world woods. I don't know. I saw it. I said I'm gonna bring it up. I'm not. I don't if that's a. That's a gate to hell. That's a gate to hell.

[A]

It is one of those things that we do need to remember that monsters like them did things like that. Because a lot of times they odu the Nazis especially, we often forget the same way the Japanese had the comfort women of Korea and China and all these other different places which were women that were being were forced into sexual slaves slavery. The Nazis had a lot of really weird around breeding.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And a bunch of other different things of them trying to do this eugenic stuff. It didn't just involve killing people. It also involved trying to make people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Whether or not those women were there of their own, will we. This is what that website is.

[B]

Yeah, that's what the website said.

[A]

That is insane.

[B]

So whatever is significant.

[A]

I like the Hellboy idea better.

[B]

Hellboy idea wins.

[A]

Hellboy idea is what we are going for.

[B]

Yeah, that's what we're going for with.

[A]

That's what we're clocking on here.

[B]

Whatever the significance to the Nazis after the war, it was necessary to clear the castle area and grounds of landmines. Oh, a lot of them. And this is the one of the reasons why the current owners will not allow any excavation inside or outside of the castle. Because there's a lot of people that want to study this castle because it's so old and has such a rich history.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But the new owners refused to do it because, pardon me, they are afraid that someone's going to set off a landmine and accidentally, even further, the bottomless hole in the limestone releasing the gates of hell.

[A]

Oh, I didn't even think about that. I just think about unexploded ordinance being around. Somebody might die.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But they're like, not only might you die, you might end up being the sacrifice that ends the world.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Oh, that's crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't want to go there now.

[B]

No. But also, I found one other, like, a little side quest story.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Apparently at some point in history, I couldn't lock down when there was a duke that was in charge of the castle or living at the castle, and he really wanted to understand the gates of Hell. Hole in the limestone. Right. And so a prisoner had come before him and was asking for a full pardon. And the duke said, I will give you a full pardon for your crimes if you complete one task.

[A]

Task. Okay.

[B]

And that task is he had to consent to being lowered down in the hole by a rope into the bottomless pit. And then he had to report back what he found down there. And if he came back up and could give an accurate report of what was seen down the hole, he would be pardoned. Okay, so this guy is like, yeah, okay, send me down the hole.

[A]

Yeah, I'll go down the hole. Is this or jail forever? Yeah. Hole. Hold me, buddy.

[B]

They strap him to a rope and they drop him down the hole slowly. And as he descended for quite a long time and a long distance, there was a long period of silence. And then all of a sudden, the convict could be hear. Heard screaming uncontrollably from deep within the ground. When the Duke's men pulled him back to the surface, they found that his hair had turned completely white and he had gone. Gone stark raving mad. And he died soon afterwards. Some accounts claim that this experiment was repeated over and over again with different convicts, but with the same result.

[A]

That's. I don't like that. No, I don't like that at all. It also. It is also feels like one of those, like, folklore things of way to tell kids to stay away. The same way we did with the other one. Yeah. But it also feels this again. I can picture this in a movie.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? Just like, who are you? I'm the guy who said, I am the man who works the pulleys for the convict group. You're like, oh, buddy, can I tell you my crazy Czech Castle story?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So years and years and years ago, I had a friend who dated a girl who was from the Czech Republic.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

She was over here on I shit you not, a summer Wawa scholarship.

[B]

So before Wawa, famously, our gas station convenience store.

[A]

Yes. Because in Pennsylvania, we gas station food. And Wawa. I don't think they still do this because of the way that visas have changed all this different stuff. But the same way, when you go to the shore, you would notice, like, a lot of people from Eastern Europe who are working at the. The fairgrounds or the T shirt shop, stuff like that. Wawa also had people for the summer, students who would get student visas who could come over and they would work at the. At the Wawa, like in the deli and stuff like that for like, three, four months. My buddy dated this girl. She was from the Czech Republic. Republic. We took her to the beach. The one day we went to the Jersey shore and we were driving back and my buddy took a wrong turn and we ended up in downtown Camden.

[B]

Okay. Yep. That's an experience for her.

[A]

A Mustang convertible with the top down.

[B]

Great, great.

[A]

And it was. It was during probably the worst period in Camden's history. Camden, right now, by the way, just celebrated the fact they haven't had a murder there in 50 years.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, to me, a murder there for the son. Summer.

[B]

For the summer.

[A]

This summer, they went murderless for the first time in 50 years. I was like, I said that wrong. Sorry. But it was bad. Camden was in a really, really bad financial straits. Everything else. And this is like 2007.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I want to say it was a bad time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We're driving through because he was looking for a gas station because gas is cheaper in New Jersey and they pump it for you. We're driving down, like, the main strip of Camden in. And we see a gas station in the distance. As we get closer, we realize it's on fire.

[B]

Yep. Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, out.

[A]

Because we could see the smoke billowing out of the, like, where the gas station attendant would be, like, they have these little things where the gas station attendants kind of hang out at. They come out and they pump your gas. That like, it's like a toll booth size thing that is on fire.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And there is a shirtless man who is covered in, like, what I can only say is, like, concrete dust throwing a tire. Like, just over and over again and, like, yelling.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we're. He's next to the red light we're pulling up to.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now the Czech girl is asleep in the back with her head on the side, having sweet dreams of America.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

My buddy is driving. I'm in the passenger seat. We're turning down the music as we approach this scene.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the man sees us. He sees her. He starts yelling at her. Yelling a bunch of different things at what he wants her to do to him, and vice versa. She wakes up confused. We speed off. We're like this. We run the red. Drive away.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We drive. We just. We're like, there's no one around. We don't care. We drive through. She wakes up, she goes, what was that? And we realized we have to now explain to her what a crackhead is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So we start to explain. Sometimes people smoke cocaine. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And we're trying to explain this. And they say crackheads and crack houses and all these different things. And Camden, New Jersey. We're trying to explain all this to her. And she goes, oh, yes, we have this in Czech Republic. And we said, what? And she goes, yes, except not house, castle. And I said, what? And she proceeds to explain to me. And this happened through much of the Soviet bloc. Yeah. To the point where it actually has, like, anthropological studies on. Around it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

As the. As a lot of these communist governments fell, especially among the Soviet bloc and the Warsaw Pact countries, historic sites like castles, they. As the government collapsed, those were the things that lost, obviously, funding and staff and everything else. Because as everything collapsed, they had to care about food and health care and very basic infrastructure. They didn't have time. Time to give a. About old castles from ancient royal families that nobody gives a. Or remembers anymore.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So over time, as drugs like crack and other things came into their societies, which is stuff that they hadn't really dealt with at the same level, Colonies of crackheads looked for places to colonize, basically.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the same way, like in Kensington, like. Like we were saying earlier, with an abandoned house. House. They move into an abandoned house and do whatever and do all the drugs. These guys found abandoned castles and just went in and pulled the drawbridge up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the thing is, is a lot of these castles are designed so. With secret passageways.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I don't know if you all have ever met a crackhead. A crackhead scurries and scutters yeah, they gotta get these crackheads found all these secret passages and found all these little areas, and they created, like, whole little crackhead societies that were, like, off the grid from everything else.

[B]

I'd watch this TV show. I want to say right now. I'd watch this TV show as the.

[A]

Governments came back into power and, like, started to, like, become the ones we know today. They were like, we need to get these crackheads out of the castles.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And they took two different ways of doing this.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

I'm excited to hear these two ways.

[A]

One, anthropologists, sociologists and archaeologists and others infiltrated and embedded with the crack. Crackheads. Because the crackheads had now had lived experiences inside these castles so they could show them where secret passages were that other people had never found.

[B]

I love this idea.

[A]

The other thing, though, was Tommy two figures walking around. Yeah.

[B]

Dude, you're never gonna guess what I found in this back door.

[A]

Yeah. Watch this.

[B]

You're gonna love this. Dude.

[A]

Watch this. Hold on. Oh, I pulled the sconce, and there's an open door, dude. Okay.

[B]

Yo, dude, I was smoking down the moat the other day. You're never gonna believe what I seen, dude.

[A]

Bro, I'm just saying is, do you ever notice that this is a mosaic if you look at it at a certain angle while you're high on crack? Yes. Oh, my God.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

It's the secret to the Holy Grail. Like, that type of shit.

[B]

Okay. I love this.

[A]

That was the first way of, like, dealing with it. The second way, obviously, send in the cops, clear them all out. Now, here's the thing. Castles are designed for a small group of people to be able to uphold a siege against the larger force.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So the crackheads were holding cops at bay for, like, days, weeks, and not months.

[B]

I'm obsessed with this.

[A]

And so it would be like, six, seven crackheads throwing stones at police. Riot shields. And they're like. They don't. They couldn't. The thing that ended castles was cannons. Because you could use cannons and dynamite to blow apart the wall. Yeah, but these are historic sites, so you can't use cannons. You can't blow apart the walls. So they had to have 40, 50 cops against or even more against a dozen or so crackheads.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And they had to do it medieval style with batons and like that because they're trying to not kill them.

[B]

Suddenly, the cops got bow and arrows. They don't know how to shoot those.

[A]

They don't know how to shoot those. But it's like they're Coming.

[B]

Gina Davis shows up.

[A]

Yeah. Just wanted to. Bam, bam, bam. But I mean, like, this is. Is so when I hear Czech or Slovakia, and because Czechoslovakia was one country until they separated after the fall of the Soviet Union. Yeah. And the fall, the Berlin Wall and all that different stuff. When, when I. When I think of that, I just. I just can't stop thinking, oh, my.

[B]

God, I would watch so many hours of a TV show about that.

[A]

And mind you, mind you, our first lady of the United States is from Slovakia.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And that is where she was living at the time she met. And that's where she was from.

[B]

She was spiritually built to live in a castle run by a dragon.

[A]

Crackhead. Yes, yes. 100%.

[B]

Listen.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

We need to take a break.

[A]

We do.

[B]

And when we come back, we're gonna go home to Pennsylvania.

[A]

Aw. Chubby's had you set with your summer wardrobe, and they're here to move you into fall and winter too. With staples built for maximum comfort and minimal effort.

[B]

Effort.

[A]

Feel like you just rolled out of bed while looking like a million bucks. The Chubby's performance polo has four way stretch and moisture wicking fabric with a structured collar that'll stay crisp and sharp all day long. Pair their polo with a pair of Chubby's everywhere pants or even their stretch shorts for those warmer fall days. And I just gotta say we've really enjoyed everything that we've received from Chubby's.

[B]

Listen, I love Chubby's. You know why? Why? They tricked you into showing a little bit more thigh meat out there at the beach.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

Their shorts got a little shorter this summer because Chubby's has those really good lengths available.

[A]

Yes, they. And I also got shorts from them that were more to the classic length. I'm used to of going down to my knee, but I wanted to try out something a little bit shorter. I also got really great swim trunks from them and others. And so we're excited to try out the new fall line. Whatever you get from Chubby's, I know you're gonna love it. Whether you're layering up for tailgate gates, lounging through lazy Sundays, or just leaning fully into fall comfort, Chubby's has you covered for a limited time. Chubby's is giving our fans 20% off your order with the code tmt@chubby shorts.com. that's code [e-mail] support the show and show your thighs some respect with Chubby's. Mrs. P. This has been a journey. So Far.

[B]

Thank you. It's a journey around the world.

[A]

Around the world. And now you're bringing it home here to Pennsylvania.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

For our Gates of Hell.

[B]

Well, guess what? We got seven with seven. Well, here's what happened. I was looking, I was like, well, if Jersey has one, then we have to have one, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And we do. But it's called the Seven Gates of Hell, and it's not just one. And it's an urban legend, just like Jerseys.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Set up. But it's in York county, so that's, like, not too far from here. But it's your county.

[A]

Oh, yeah. It's like west of Lancaster.

[B]

It's. Now, here's the thing about the Seven Gates of Hell in Pennsylvania. There's two versions of the story.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

One involves a burned down insane asylum, and the other involves an eccentric doctor.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That's like hurting his patients.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So they're both kind of terrible stories.

[A]

I don't like either.

[B]

Yeah, I don't like.

[A]

I don't like either. For a haunted story, that's one thing I don't like haunted. Can I tell you, haunted houses in general gives very much true crime podcast.

[B]

Yes. Some of them. Some of the ones where it's like, we had lots of murders here. You're like, I don't want to. I don't, like, hang out.

[A]

And the person telling you about is a little bit too into describing the murder. And I'm like, I don't like you living vicariously through Jack the Ripper. Yeah.

[B]

But I also personally don't like haunted asylums. I think they're really awful, and I think it's a really negative thing to do to people with mental health issues.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

To be like, oh, these people are inherently spooky and bedeviled.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's like, it's. That's not what it should be. So I've never gone to a haunted asylum because I don't love that.

[A]

And historically, people who had that today we would have medical diagnosis for in the past would be accused of being possessed by demons and needing to have exorcism and all those different things. And that's where that all ties together.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. So it. Basically, what happened is in this area of your county, Pennsylvania, there's a location in a wooded area where there's, like, gates, Right. Like the kind of gates that you, like, go to, like to park. Like, it opens like this, like the big metal gates.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And it's on a road that went to this alleged insane Asylum institution.

[A]

Okay, right, so there's a big medical institution of some sort. Yeah, that's hence the doctor.

[B]

That's what they're saying. Yeah, a big medical institution.

[A]

That's what they're saying.

[B]

That's. I mean, again, this is very weird New Jersey.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

This is urban legend stuff.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

I couldn't find a lot of info.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

But basically there's a road, but it's really overgrown because it's in the woods. And then. And there's seven gates to get to it. And if you go through the gates, when you get through the seventh, you will be entered into a portal of hell. That's why no one's ever gone to.

[A]

The seventh gate except for all the people who've gone through the seventh gate.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, what are you talking about? Okay, so also, I did some fact checking and no, I think.

[A]

I think I remember seeing a tick tock about this because every now and then I get like, oh, weird Pennsylvania stuff. Like there's this museum, Mercer Museum in Doylestown. Yeah, I. I want to go there. It looks crazy.

[B]

We can go there.

[A]

There's also like a vampire museum in Doylestown. There's a.

[B]

What's going on in Doylestown?

[A]

I don't know. In Bucks County, Pennsylvania, which is north and east of where you're describing, in New York county, they have like a bunch of like really crazy museums. Maybe we should set aside a day. We'll send the. We'll send Pearl Babia over to Magistra's house and then we'll drive up to scenic Bucks County.

[B]

Bugs County.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, like, this episode's been brought to you by visitpa. Dot. No, K, kidding. Don't.

[B]

No. This episode's been brought to you by Miscellaneous Immorality.

[A]

Miscellaneous Immorality.

[B]

Shows that are super cute.

[A]

And also I think the 3 AD reads. We read.

[B]

Yeah, well, we're busy people. Yeah. So, yeah, basically it's just local saying that there's these gates and if you pass through them, you will be ended up. You'll end up in hell. And the whole thing is like, I couldn't find anything to really make this true. There used to be a road there, but it was like the road that they're saying it was on was washed out in 1972 during a hurricane. So, like, if there was a road that had these seven gates, it doesn't exist anymore. And there isn't like this idea of this burned down asylum, because that was. The whole thing is like, oh, the asylum Burned down. And then when everybody was escaping, they. They died or they got beat to death by the cops, which is actually like something I read. I was like, that's a fucking crazy thing to write that you guys did. Did. And then the one thing I found out is like, so they're. They're talking about how there was this evil doctor who was doing all these evil experiments. And that's why he. His evil experiments led to this gate to hell. Because if you went through the road.

[A]

To his seven gates, his experiments were actually sacrifices.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Something that he would. He. He would. That's why. But then what I did find out is that there was a Dr. Harold Belknap, who was a practitioner at the west side Sanitarium, who lived on this potential road called Toad Road. And what they found is that he did used to put up signs threatening people to not come down his road.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Right. And the thing is, he would make these threatening signs, but he also would write them with a lot of toad related humor.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

He would write puns about toads and.

[A]

Be like, okay, I'm automatic. Okay. I now see exactly what's happened here. This is the old man with the snow shovel in Home Alone. Yes, it's the old man with the snow shovel in Home Alone. And then you add in the fact that we're out here. York county, pa. Is like the middle of nowhere. Yep. This is very much where you would have, like, your summer camps.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

This very much is. I heard a thing over here. Oh, yeah, There's a weird old doctor who ran a sanitarium down the road. It's a campfire story that over time. And also it has a leftover to it. Ronald Reagan famously closed a lot of our mental institutions in America in the 1980s. So if by the time, whatever this was, this guy who was living there in the 70s, the road washes away in 1972, you said?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So we have people who are hearing a story from 10, maybe 15 years ago. This story is a thing whispered down the lane. Whisper down the lane. I need to entertain some kids. I'll grab a couple little fences. Facts the same way. Like the end of Unusual suspect, Usual suspects, where you look at the board and you're like, oh, wait, this is how he put it all together to make this crazy story. That's how it kind of goes. I have a sanitarium. I have an old road. There are these gates.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I can put all these.

[B]

There's a man who nailed a sign into the door that said, hop on out of here.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. He just cut the toad part. Because inside, as we know from our episode with Tell Williams, inside everyone, there are two frogs and both of them are gay.

[B]

Wait, no. There's a frog and a toad.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that's right. But both of them are gay.

[B]

Oh, they're both gay.

[A]

Remember, don't you. The big reveal was the writer was gay.

[B]

Yes, I do recall.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I'm sorry.

[A]

Frog and toad.

[B]

Frog and toad. It was a great episode.

[A]

It was a great episode.

[B]

Let's go to Paris.

[A]

Oh, I love going to Paris. This is. This is finally. All right, cool.

[B]

This is the last one.

[A]

There's a portal to hell in Paris. Yeah. And it's not just the French people. Hey, maybe it's a French waiter.

[B]

Whoa. They are historically really rude.

[A]

There was. The meanest person I ever met was a French waiter.

[B]

The Catacombs of Paris.

[A]

I'm kind of let down that the Pennsylvania one's so lame.

[B]

I'm sorry. I had to pull it. And I was like. Because I was like, PA proud. We got to do it. And then I was like. And I thought we were gonna be hyped because it was seven, and I was like, we got seven gates, dude. All right, take me to Paris then. I was bummed out, too. Yeah, it's okay. Let's go to Paris.

[A]

Let's go to Paris.

[B]

Catacombs, baby.

[A]

Okay. I know the catacombs. Yeah, I know the catacombs of Paris from Werewolves. The Werewolf in Paris.

[B]

Paris, yes.

[A]

The sequel to Werewolf in London. That's. Which I actually saw first, which is terrifying. It's terribly. I. I. My apologies.

[B]

Yeah. You should be apologetic about that.

[A]

Yeah. Though I do love the song Werewolf of London by Warren Zvon.

[B]

You think? I don't. I don't hate it. It's that you play it all the time.

[A]

Well, was London saw where Wolf wired a Chinese menu in his hand.

[B]

Are you.

[A]

I'm walking.

[B]

We're making a podcast right now.

[A]

I know. And I'm singing. Warren Zvon.

[B]

I don't. We don't.

[A]

It's been a long episode. They're not going to copyright claim my cover.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So his hair was.

[B]

Catacombs of Paris are an underground ossuary which hold the remains of more than 6 million people.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

There are 6 million people in the catacombs of Paris?

[A]

For real?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

They counted.

[B]

I mean, that's the estimates based on how many they shoved in there.

[A]

Okay. Okay. That's a crazy number of people.

[B]

Yes. The.

[A]

And they're all under Paris.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, this. So basically what happened is there. There was different entrances into the catacombs for when they were loading the bodies down there, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And there's. I'm going to butcher this word.

[A]

All right, good.

[B]

Barrier de un, which is the gate to hell in Paris. That's what they called it was a city gate to get into the catacombs. Catacombs.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

And the reason that the catacombs of Paris, the aussuary, was created was because the city's cemeteries were actually overflowing. The. The cemeteries in Paris at the time were taller than man. They were so high. And the pressure of the bodies were actually squishing below in the dirt and coming out into people's basements. The bodies were floating up out of the dirt. Dirt. They were pushing through dirt and ending up in the river.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, because, again, it's a very wet area because of the river.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's like marshland. So bodies would just, like, float to the top one day.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And have to be stomped back down, basically.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

So basically, there was one cemetery called the Cemetery Holy Innocence, which had a huge collapse issue in 1774. And it was such an urgent matter because there was so many bodies there that they had to, like, the government had to step in and be like, okay, we need to get these bodies out of this area and build out a catacomb under the city. Okay. So it was, like, all hands on deck immediately.

[A]

And this is, like, right around the time of the French Revolution.

[B]

Yeah. So, like, we got two issues going on right now.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. We have. We have insane wealth inequality that won't be seen again till 2025. And we have bodies popping out, Popping up. Yeah, Bodies, bodies, bodies, bodies.

[B]

And so, like, basically every night for years, there'd be processions of covered wagons as they transferred the remains of bodies from Paris's cemeteries into the catacombs.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

For years, every night, people would see these carriages go to the gates of hell and take the bodies down there. And if you've ever seen pictures of the catacombs, Catacombs, picture, they're. They're lined up really well.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They're beautifully, like, organized. So, like, they got down there, and then they started, like, organizing them by femurs and skulls. It's like a whole thing.

[A]

Yeah, I know. I remember seeing them especially in werewolves in Paris.

[B]

The. So the bodies that were exhumed from Holy Innocence were. When they were moved to the catacombs, some bodies were incompletely decomposed and had been reduced into large deposits of fat, which is called corpse wax and also known as palmitic acid. And during the exhumation, this fat was collected and subsequently turned into candles and soap made from those human corpses.

[A]

Well, that is not great. No, that is not great. But they are using the whole buffalo, so I will.

[B]

That's waste not. What? Not.

[A]

They say, yeah, you know what?

[B]

And I did. I was reading that this is a paraffin candle. That's paraffin.

[A]

This. This right here. The Dolly candle. Paraffin, which put our energy towards. Dolly.

[B]

Dolly.

[A]

Dolly, please. Please feel good.

[B]

Dolly, I need you to get better.

[A]

Please. Please.

[B]

Hey, babe.

[A]

Hey.

[B]

Not right now, okay?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

We're having a time.

[A]

Everyone's having a time. Dolly.

[B]

So of some. See, I couldn't. This is so old that I couldn't find historical facts on it. But there are a lot of people that believe that some. These candles were then used to light the halls as they were organized.

[A]

Doubt it. I wouldn't doubt it. And again, these are. This is at a time. This era is at a time when there are body snatchers, there are doctors and all these different things. And our view of corpses has changed over time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Over what is desecration and all these different things. And especially at the level of poverty that they were dealing with at that time, they would. If. If you're going to make corpse wax candles.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're going to use them wherever. And people aren't going to ask where they can. They'd be like, nice candle. Yeah. It burns really well.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, cool. That's it. That's like. That's. That's it.

[B]

This is not a Bath and Body Works scented candle. Okay. This has an odor.

[A]

Yeah. And everything was candles back.

[B]

Yeah, everything.

[A]

They were the candle. The candle budget never been higher.

[B]

You can.

[A]

Never been. I bet. I bet that candle makers, candle barons. When Thomas Edison rolled out that cheap light bulb for the first time.

[B]

Son of a.

[A]

They must have reacted the same way I reacted to AI. They're like, this is gonna to ruin us. What do you mean? They can use the same light bulb for 90 days.

[B]

Son of a.

[A]

We sell candles every day.

[B]

Every single day. So that cemetery, the Holy Innocent Cemetery, I looked it up and basically that cemetery held the corpses for 22 different parishes in Paris. Okay, so parishes c. Catholic churches. Each parish would send their body, their bodies to this one cemetery, including the remains of those who died in the Hotel Deux, which was a hospital founded by Saint Laundry in 1651 A.D. oh, and the official records date back to 829 A.D. making it the oldest hospital that's continuously been operating in the world.

[A]

Real quick, you said 1651. You mean 656. Six.

[B]

I'm sorry.

[A]

Yeah. It's okay. You threw a different number afterwards. I was like, wait, wait. I was confused. So the. The hospital was found in 651 and then. Yeah, okay.

[B]

That's how long they've been putting bodies is what I'm trying to say. There were plague victims.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And people who had drowned in the cn, died in the roads, crippled in many different ways. And so this one cemetery was estimated to hold about 2 million Paris Asians. So just that one cemetery?

[A]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay.

[B]

That's what I'm talking about. It was a lot of people.

[A]

I was confused by this, though, because I thought the catacombs were ancient. But you're saying that, that, that they maybe. I don't know. I need to look a little bit more into this, but that's crazy.

[B]

So then I found this story about this guy. His name, Filibert. It's P H I L I B E R T. Philibert. I like that name. He was a doorkeeper at a hospital, the Val de Grace Hospital, during the French revolution.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

In 1793, he entered the catacombs via a staircase located in the hospital courtyard. Because, again, there were access points all over the city. Yeah, there was one main access point. That's the gate to hell. But there are multiple access points because of hospitals and different areas where a body might be morgues and stuff like that. So he enters through a staircase in this hospital courtyard, and no one knows why he did it, but he was not seen again until his body was discovered in 1804, 11 years later, in one of the quarry galleries. And he was buried in the catacombs where he was found. And his cause of death was never determined. His body was actually identified by the hospital key ring on his belt.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

So he went down there, something happened, and he passed away and died in the catacombs. So this is one of those, like, ooky spooky. It's haunted. Once you go down there, you'll never come back.

[A]

Yeah. Hit the tick tock music.

[B]

Yeah. But also, it is an incredibly difficult labyrinth.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's a crazy puzzle down there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So he probably just got lost.

[A]

It was a dark torch. It's a dark torch tunnel.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Full of skulls. Like, it is not the place you want.

[B]

You're gonna get an anxiety attack.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You're 100 when I went to Paris, we thought we were talking about going and like taking the tour, and I was like, I don't think I can. I get really claustrophobic in certain situations.

[A]

I've been into some tunnels, I've been in some catacombs. I've done that when I went to Europe. And like, it is. It can be. I can see why. Yeah. You don't like elevators?

[B]

No.

[A]

So, like, I mean, for you. No.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, for me, I have a thing. Thing. For me, it's. It's a matter of as long as I can keep my shoulders broad and I can stand up for the most.

[B]

Part to fight the ghosts and.

[A]

No, just I don't like to hunch. And so when I've gone into spaces that have very narrow. So like, I can feel my shoulders scraping on the walls. Yeah. So I have to do this. And if I'm already doing this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm already kind of in like a fear position. Like if I'm already scrunching my body up, if I'm already stooping lower to get in because I'm. I'm like six, one and a half. So, like, like, if I have to stoop too much. My dad's six, eight.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So like, he's trying to fit in places. So we always, like, kind of kept that belly. We went to the Etruscan tombs, a few other things. But also going to Catholic churches alone are weird enough.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because y' all love to just show off a skull.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When you guys go. If y' all ever go to a Catholic. A really. Cat. I'm talking about Catholic.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Catholic cathedral. Especially in, like, Italy.

[B]

Yeah. The drama, the vibe, the dry, it's very. And skulls, candles, glitter gold.

[A]

But they aren't plastic. These are real skulls. That's what drives me so crazy about evangelical mega churches that are in an old circuit city where they're like, look, we're being touched by the power of Christ. Fog machine, laser light show. I'm like, absolutely. The fuck?

[B]

Where's the art? Where's the drama? I want a painting. I need a. I need a beautiful mural in the sky with gold edging. Come on.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I. I went to a Catholic church in Philly in a low income area, and we had marble, we had sconces. Handmade stained glass window, baby.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Was beautiful.

[A]

I looked at the neighborhood around it and I went, wow, that money could have gone elsewhere.

[B]

No, put it all in there.

[A]

We had to put it in the sconces.

[B]

The beautiful, beautiful, beautiful sconces. Beautiful stained Glass.

[A]

Yeah. You guys did have good stained glass. I know I did when I went. When you. When I had to go there, I've been to go there to. For a couple funerals, and I always look around. Go. Beautiful stained glasses. Beautiful stained glasses here. Neighborhood.

[B]

That's a beautiful organ you got there.

[A]

Neighborhoods going to shit. Nice sconces.

[B]

Anyway, okay, so here's what happened. The catacombs kind of like fell out of favor in fashion, you know, like, it became like kind of forgotten history.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And eventually what happened is in the 9th, early 19th century, people, I'm going to say teens is probably cool. Teens started going down there, started thinking about what. What kind of cool stuff you could do down there. It became like an adventure spot. Like a. Like a sewer in New Jersey.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And basically what happened is these people started going down there, and then the government got involved and was like, oh, we need to do renovations and construction on these access points.

[A]

These are old. They're old tunnels.

[B]

They're old tunnels. They can collapse. Yeah. And so then they opened it. It for public visitation in 1874.

[A]

Yeah. Because it's. It's a roadside attraction at that point.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's a really. It's a cool thing. And at that point, 1874 is around. This is around also the time where people would take what's called the grand tour.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which is the idea of, like, especially British people, but even. Even French people. You would tour all around Europe. You wanted. It was the idea of where one continent. And they were kind of like in between world wars at the time. So it was like, oh, okay. You know, there's that interconnectedness. So everybody wanted to see each capitol.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And see the sites and take in the culture and that type of stuff.

[B]

So it's open to the public. And then in 2013, the catacombs begin to be managed by the city of Paris's museums.

[A]

Okay, good.

[B]

So they're a little late. Little that out there.

[A]

A little late. You're talking about 12 years ago ago.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We started out this story in 1774, I believe it was.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Before the American Revolution. And we got up to 12 years ago.

[B]

So now in between there 1874 and 2013, in 1955, it became illegal to enter the catacombs without official permission.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

You're not supposed to go down there. It's not safe. You need permission. And you need to go through the Paris museums to take the proper tour in the safe areas.

[A]

But I've seen. I've seen Werewolf in Paris. So I know that didn't happen, but.

[B]

There are these people called cataphiles.

[A]

Shut the up. Shut the fuck up. A cataphile.

[B]

Cataphile not.

[A]

They don't love. They don't love meow meows.

[B]

Nope.

[A]

They love a tunnel with skulls.

[B]

There are people who illegally explore the underground network. Sometimes living there, sometimes throwing parties or raves or even setting up hidden venues. Like one time they got caught making an illegal scene cinema down there where they projected movies and people watched movies down there. What movie do you think they'd watch?

[A]

American Werewolf in Paris?

[B]

Yeah, probably they'd watch that down there.

[A]

That is crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hello. Who are you? Are you. No, no, stop. Officer. I am not a bad man. I just have a love. A love of Cathy Combs. Call me a cato file. And then literally the cops like, man, listen, I just, I want to be very clear to you how you don't want to put file on the end of anything. No, putting file does not make it. But no file is just Greek for love. Yes, I understand that.

[B]

We gotta stop using.

[A]

No, but don't, don't use.

[B]

Don't make it weird.

[A]

Don't use your wicked pedagogy. No, pedo is the problem. Pedo is the problem. Do I need to get the board? It's on the shirt which you can get here.

[B]

Put the board on the shirt. Because people love the board and people love potatoes. Pre potato, post potato.

[A]

Yeah, People love John Brown.

[B]

Everybody loves John Brown.

[A]

And people love Soup for Our Family.

[B]

Okay. So yeah, the cataphiles are down there doing all the things they want to do. They're sneaking in. They're not supposed to be down there.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

They found some secret entrances. Because again, so many secret entrances.

[A]

Imagine going to a Euro trash rave and you're surrounded by skulls.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you're like, I think this molly is laced.

[B]

Let me tell you something.

[A]

That would have been E. That would.

[B]

Be E. Right now as a 40 year old grown person, I don't think I'd go to the catacombs. It'd give me anxiety.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But 23 year old me, me traveling Europe and somebody was like, oh, we're going in a rave in the catacombs and we're gonna do drugs, babe. Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Cuz my brain hadn't developed that kind of fear yet.

[A]

Yeah. And you. Can I picture. You would picture the rave as the. The Matrix DJ rave scene.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Remember in the movie, in the Matrix movie where they're all like, tonight we are fighting against the Matrix. But we are alive and it's time to hu.

[B]

Hell.

[A]

Yeah, but I. I picture everyone dressed like the rave scene from Blade.

[B]

Oh, yeah, okay.

[A]

It's very. Before. Before the blood stuff comes on. Yeah, but it's very.

[B]

Which I am not cleaning up at this Airbnb.

[A]

No, we are not cleaning up the blood walls from the Airbnb. All right, keep going. What else we got?

[B]

No, so basically they. They would secretly. And they found secret entrances all over the city. Of course.

[A]

Cuz that's where they were.

[B]

And they started this subculture and it's literally a sub. It's a subterranean culture that and the police, the authorities do occasionally discover and dismantle these hidden spaces, leading to what was quoted as a cat and mouse game. Get it? Cuz they're catopiles.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But. Yeah, those are my. Those are the top six gates to hell. What do you think? What are your faves? Tell me your faves.

[A]

Well, I'll tell you my faves right after this. No doubt. Live at Sphere Las Vegas, performing for six sensational nights. May 6th, 8th, 9th, 13th, 15th and 16th. Go to nodoubt.com now for pre sale sign up and to access ticket hotel packages. All right, so we took our little break. Yeah. And I sat down and I went over the list and I put them in the order that I think they should be in.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. And I do want to say before I put this in as order, I want to say. Very good. Good list.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

It was a very, very, very good list. Thank you. I'm glad you didn't put them in order because a few of those, I was like, some of these are stinkers. Yeah. Not gonna lie. Some of them are stinkers, man. All right. That's why I'm gonna. But I'm gonna start. I'm gonna go one to six.

[B]

Well, you start the. The least.

[A]

No, I'm gonna start at the top.

[B]

You're at the top.

[A]

I'm gonna start at the top because I think number one is pretty clear, you spent the most time on it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

The Czech castle.

[B]

Yeah. The Huska castle. Yeah.

[A]

Talk about. Mainly because they built a castle to keep whatever they think is in it. In it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That is a gate to hell.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't. I don't care about anything on that. That is a portal of something into a dimension that we can't even imagine.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I'm going to go with that. Number one.

[B]

Number one.

[A]

Number two. The catacones of Paris.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm going to put that up There. Because even if it isn't, it is still terrifying.

[B]

It's terrifying and really cool at the same time.

[A]

Really, really cool. But also, like, I think about. About the idea. The concept of hell has changed over culture so much. So, like, the idea of Hades, Elysium, and all these different things like hell and heaven have changed repeatedly throughout culture. Our vision of them of hell being a fiery place below ground and heaven being up in the clouds and being white and all this pure, all this shit that isn't how it's always been viewed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so the idea of it just being a passageway of where the dead go. So I'm gonna give that to the.

[B]

Okay. All right. All right.

[A]

Number three, Turkmenistan.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because that is cool as hell. Yeah, that is cool as hell. And it's hot. And spider sacrifice is insane.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I would love to go to that.

[B]

And you would have to stay in a yurt.

[A]

I would have to stay in a yurt. Now, number four. Okay, I'm gonna shock you with this.

[B]

All right. It's Bel Air House, Ohio, you said.

[A]

Yes, but not based on the merit merits.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm putting it higher because the fact that we have an entire strip of Ohio, Pennsylvania, and New Jersey. And Pennsylvania and New Jersey barely even showed up to the game on this.

[B]

They really stunkers.

[A]

I'm gonna put the seven gates in York County, Pennsylvania at number five. And my reasoning for it is because the woods is scary.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's solely just because the woods as a portal sucks.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's seven open gates in the middle of the farm forest. But if I was in the forest at night on a kind of spooky, rainy, moonlit evening.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In the fall, which, by the way, just so you guys know, because of climate change, the fall is getting later and later. Like if the trees are still green here.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's insane. These should have turned by now. Should have been called if this was classic 90s spooky forest.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Might have actually pushed it up a little bit higher in our discussions, but I think this is very much a campfire situation. Situation. So seven gets number five. Number six. That is a fucking stormpipe in New Jersey. There is nothing spooky about that. Some kids saw a guy get high once and they were like. And everyone said stay away. And like, oh, why, like ghosts, Red Eyed Mike? Yeah. Because we just used to lie to children instead of tell them the truth. And we still do.

[B]

We got a lot of kids.

[A]

We've got a lot of kids.

[B]

I want to say something bold. What you're never gonna see this coming. Okay, I agree with your list completely. That's right. I agree with your list completely. I don't think I'd change anything about it, honestly.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

That's. I think you're correct in this.

[A]

I think. I think it's a good list. I think what I will agree with, though, is that the list you brought to the table today was a very good and a very important thank you. And I just want to say thank you for your service.

[B]

Thank you. I try really hard and I had a really fun time today.

[A]

I did, too.

[B]

And listen, if you think that I should have my own Ghost Hunting YouTube channel where I go around ghost hunting, painting, go to Mrs. Pearl Mania 500 on YouTube where I created a channel. And if I get followers, I'm gonna make this happen.

[A]

You created a channel?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

A YouTube channel?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, no. Okay. Well, there you go, guys. You can follow Mrs. P on YouTube. You can follow us everywhere across social media. And you can also remember to, like, subscribe, comment. Give us those five stars. Follow us at [e-mail] and make sure you have yourself a wonderful week.

[B]

Week.

[A]

And hopefully you can make a good prayer for Dolly. Give her that energy. Thanks. Too many frauds and too many scammers that we wish weren't real. Too many cons and too many spammers and we're starting to feel like we've got too many tabs. Open it. Too many tabs. Remember to smile.