Napoleon's Nephew: The Lover of Coups | TMT 156

Summary

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Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500

Episode 156: Napoleon's Nephew: The Lover of Coups
Date: November 30, 2025
Hosts: Pearlmania500 (husband), Mrs. P (wife)

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode dives into the life and wild career of Napoleon III (Charles Louis Napoleon Bonaparte), the lesser-remembered nephew of Napoleon Bonaparte (Napoleon I) and a man obsessed with staging coups. The hosts weave together European revolutionary history, family dramas, and plenty of contemporary analogies to show how one man’s endless quest for power helped shape modern France—and echoes so many modern strongman tales.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Stage—Who Was Napoleon III?

• Napoleon III vs. Napoleon Bonaparte:
  • Napoleon III was the nephew, not the son, of the famed Napoleon I.
  • "You're thinking about Napoleon I. I'm talking about Napoleon III. His nephew who just loved ku-ing...He loved a coup." (01:15)
• The hosts quickly set up his family tree and why France had so many Napoleons and Bonapartes floating around.

2. Why So Many Coups? The "Coup Season" of History

• Personal and historical context for Europe’s frequent revolutions in the 19th century.
• Parallels drawn to modern times:
  • "There's this thing in history where...history likes to repeat itself. First as tragedy, then as farce." (03:16)
  • Quoting Marx on history's repetition about Napoleon III.

3. The Bonaparte Family: Exiles, Names, and Aspirations

• Napoleon III’s confusing array of names (Charles, Louis, Joseph...) and exiled upbringing, notably in Switzerland.
• The hosts riff on family naming conventions and their own backgrounds, with plenty of jokes about “Vincent S.” and “hoagie mouth” accents. (06:04–13:01)
• Napoleon III’s cosmopolitan upbringing and longing for France.

4. Carbonari, Secret Societies, and the First Taste of Revolution

• Napoleon III joins the Carbonari (1830s): a proto-revolutionary Italian secret society aiming for national unity and constitutional monarchy/republic, opposing absolutism.
• Mrs. P: "He becomes a Swiss army knife." (17:18)
• The hosts break down the club’s secretive, working-class branding and wild rituals.
• Analogy: Secret societies as "in-person Discord servers or subreddits." (22:57)

5. First Actual Coup Attempts: A Farce of Failures

• Strasbourg Coup, 1836:
  • 11 guys, poorly disguised, storm a barracks and are almost immediately arrested after the barrack’s commander’s mother-in-law and wife help subdue them.
  • "It was a two hour coup... He fled back to Switzerland." (40:43)
• Aftermath: Banished from France, he is exiled to America (makes stops in London and Brazil) where he makes shrewd observations about American freedom:
  • "Here there is freedom to acquire, but not freedom to enjoy. There is the right to act, but not to think." (44:21)

6. The 1840 Coup: More Men, Still Ridiculous

• Crowdfunds £20,000 via wealthy patrons (equivalent to $2.2 million today) for his next coup; now has 60 "men" (servants, staff, and a handful of soldiers).
• Staging is laughable: They arrive drunk, uniforms are mismatched, most “soldiers” are valets, cooks, tailors. (58:17)
• Customs officer is baffled, tries to understand their improbable story; Napoleon’s men try (and fail) to capture local barracks.
• Attempted escape: They try to swim back to England in full dress; Napoleon III only survives a bullet thanks to his gold braid.
• Result: Imprisoned, but gets the good life in jail—a horse, a garden, and lots of charm. Eventually, he just walks out dressed as a laborer carrying wood. (70:47)

7. Every Failure Only Makes Him Stronger

• Every botched coup, every exile, increases his mystique and following—compared to modern streamer/grifter/strongman patterns ("He's a streamer... this is Andrew Tate." 72:01).

8. Revolutions of 1848: Europe Explodes Again

• Another round of uprisings in Europe creates an opening.
• Napoleon III is initially rebuffed by new French republicans; but his grassroots support (Bonapartist Party) gets him elected to national assembly—thanks to relentless propaganda and name recognition.
• "It's just name recognition...he's able to reach independents." (80:22)

9. Rise to President, Then (Auto-) Coup to Emperor

• Wins presidency in a landslide, then stages his most successful coup to extend his rule.
• Auto-coup: Dissolves national assembly, arrests opposition (including Victor Hugo), institutes strict censorship, holds a sham referendum—all to become emperor.
• "This is your cooing yourself, which is wild." (89:31)
• Renames himself Emperor Napoleon III; rewrites constitution to ensure perpetual rule.

10. How Napoleon III Governed: Urban Renewal and Imperial Expansion

• Reconstructs Paris: Widens streets, builds monuments, remakes the city to prevent future uprisings:
  • "He rebuilt Paris with wide streets so they couldn't build barricades." (97:12)
• Foreign Adventures: Doubles French colonial empire, invades Mexico (leads to battle now celebrated as Cinco de Mayo), extends rule into Africa and Indochina.
• Ultimately embroils France in the disastrous Franco-Prussian War, leading to his capture and the end of his regime.

11. Final Fall and Historical Impact

• Defeat by Bismarck and the Prussians led to the unification of Germany and set the stage for World War I.
• "He spent the entire time [as POW] begging the Germans to let him coup the new Third Republic...The Germans are like, dude, no one will listen to you...Everyone hates you now." (104:28–104:53)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On France's obsession with Bonapartes:
  "If any of them get loose, we will all die." (09:57)
• On failed coups:
  "If someone has an unsuccessful coup and you don't shoot that guy, he will coup again. Guys who coup attract other guys who like coups." (48:24)
• On the Strasbourg coup:
  "Even the barracks commander's mother-in-law and wife show up and they beat the shit out of Louis Napoleon. By 8pm, everyone was arrested." (40:43)
• Napoleon III’s American verdict:
  "Here there is freedom to acquire, but not freedom to enjoy. There is the right to act, but not to think." (44:21)
• On the absurdity of his followers:
  "30 of the 56 'soldiers' were actually members of Louis Napoleon’s household staff—valets, butlers, three cooks, two gardeners, a tailor..." (58:23)
• On the modern cycle of failed strongmen:
  "He's a streamer. This guy's a fucking streamer...this is Andrew Tate." (72:01)
• On becoming Emperor:
  "He changed the constitution to cross out 'president,' write 'emperor,' and then made it hereditary...they just write 'kids.' That’s all he did." (94:24)
• On the deep lesson of coups:
  "Nobody thought the coup guy would coup again. It's incredible because this is also called an auto coup." (89:30)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening, theme, and context: 01:01–04:55
• Bonaparte family drama & names: 05:12–13:01
• Napoleon III’s early revolutionary days: 14:24–21:03
• Carbonari, secret societies: 21:07–23:55
• Strasbourg coup disaster: 36:41–42:39
• Napoleon III’s exile in America: 43:07–45:47
• Second failed coup: 51:04–64:14
• Jailbreak and “the charm offensive”: 66:34–70:54
• Rise after 1848 Revolution: 72:28–80:26
• Presidency & self-coup to Emperor: 82:21–93:53
• Rebuilding Paris & colonialism: 97:07–100:36
• Franco-Prussian war & defeat: 101:06–104:53
• Historical impact, legacy, closing reflections: 106:09–108:44

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Tone & Delivery

• The hosts’ style is witty, irreverent, pop-culture laden.
• Mrs. P constantly interrupts with snark, pop-culture references, or hilarious analogies (comparing the failed coups to middle-aged men at a Civil War reenactment, to streamer “rise and grind” grifters and modern authoritarians).
• Pearlmania500 (Mr. P) delivers the historical background with asides to draw explicit parallels to modern political figures and events—sometimes to jarring comedic effect.

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Conclusion

The episode makes a potent argument for studying the histories that seem too absurd to repeat. Louis Napoleon’s endless cycle of failed and finally successful coups parallels contemporary political movements, showing how patterns of opportunism, propaganda, and nostalgia for “greatness” keep resurfacing. The hosts leave listeners with a reminder that even the seemingly ridiculous histories reverberate into our present.

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End of Summary — “Remember to smile!”

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Transcript

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

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[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

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[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

First as tragedy, then as farce. A very famous man said that. And we'll tell you who said that deeper in the episode. But I'm gonna tell you who he said it about. He said it about the subject of today's episode, Napoleon iii. Do you know who that is?

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

No.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

No, because you're thinking about Napoleon I. I'm talking about Napoleon iii, his nephew who just loved Kuin. Oh, that's right, he loved a coup. Here I go cooing again. That's Napoleon iii. And this is a podcast. A podcast called Too Many Tabs. Here I go cooing again. Remember to smile. Welcome to Too Many Tabs, a podcast where a husband and wife duo sit next to each other at a table. And you're probably watching this full of Thanksgiving dinner. I hope. I hope you have sweatpants on. I hope you have all of your leftovers.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah, this is a gobbler. This is Gobbler moment.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

This is Gobbler moment.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

People don't know what gobblers.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Well, there's a Gobbler that people can make at home, and then there's the Wawa Gobbler that I live on. Because again, Pennsylvania gas station food. But none of those matters. Because if you're watching this, you're either listening to it on your way to work, or it's Sunday at noon when these episodes always drop. And you're either watching us on YouTube, listening to us on the Patreon, or you're listening to us wherever you get podcasts. Thank you so much. Like, subscribe, comment, all those fun things. But Mrs. P usually this is a show where one of us does research, and then they lore dump all over the other. Yes, but as we said, this episode's coming out after than Thanksgiving, which means we recorded it before Thanksgiving, which meant.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

You means I had no time.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

None at whatsoever. She's had no time.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

There's hundreds and hundreds of deviled eggs to be made.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

I know 100%.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I grew the sweet potatoes. She really did create the sweet potato casserole. It's a lot of work's gone into.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

This, which is crazy, because actually was listening to the radio, and they're like, sweet potato prices are through the roof. I said, not my house. We got dirt. Sweet potatoes. Right from the pa. Dirt. But what I wanted to say is I did the research on the episode this week, and it's a history episode, and it's a throwback.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Because a thing happened earlier this year, and I started looking around and I went, huh, huh? It feels like coup season.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, coup season.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. And so I looked into history. I said, who loved coups more than anyone else?

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

The president.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

But no, not the current president.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He does love a coup.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Loves a coup.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

But the thing is, is there's this thing in history where. Where history likes to repeat itself. There's actually a very famous philosopher said history repeats itself, first as a tragedy, then as a farce.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And that that philosopher was Karl Marx.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, no.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And he was talking about this exact man that I did my research on.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, really?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Napoleon the third. Okay, now I know what you're immediately thinking.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I don't know. There was three of them.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. There are three Napoleons.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

There's a guy with a hand in the shirt.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yep. That's one. That's Napoleon one.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

That's big guy.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

That's OG Then his son was Napoleon two junior. Okay. And then there was Napole, Napoleon three, which is his nephew.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Was it the nephew of Napoleon 1?

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

The third one is usually pretty good because, like, the scream is perfect. Scream is a great film.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Scream 2, Junior.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Scream 3. Okay, I'm back in.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Okay, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. This guy killed millions. Anyway, he also did a lot of coups. Okay, well, it's one of those things. We're gonna be talking about the 1800s. We're gonna be talking about the French Empire. Yep. There are a lot. Like, it's gonna be fun. There's gonna be a bunch of different stuff. But just keep in the back of your mind that the whole goal of becoming an emperor in Europe is so then you can send Ships all around the world to conquer and enslave people for your major empires. Because this is what we're really talking about. A lot of times when people will look back in history, they look back at the 1800s, they go, oh, it's so silly. They have so many buttons. Oh, my God, his hands in his shirt. You're like, yeah, but what about Haiti? You know what I mean? Like, what about French Indochina? Which is Vietnam? What about. What about Algeria? There's all these different things. We're going to get. We'll get into that, but I just want to put that. I want to sprinkle that on the top.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay. That's the marshmallows on the sweet potato casserole.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

It is. No, because that makes it sweet. Even sweeter. This is more. This is the. I'm trying to think of what ruins that thing. This is the cranberry from a can.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Whoa.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

What?

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Whoa.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

This is.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Cranberry is incredible.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

It's the grossest thing in the world.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Superior to real, real cranberries at a certain point.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Okay. Yeah. Enjoy your ultra processed food. Food. I'm over here enjoying RFK's bountiful harvest. My mouth is a canyon, and I'm ready for his river. A real quote you should not look up by RFK Jr you do not want to know the context, but let me tell you the context of Napoleon III, who was born Charles Louis Napoleon Bonaparte in 1808.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Chuck.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. No, well, you. They immediately dropped the word Charles.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Because it gets really. Now here's the part that's very confusing. You're gonna hear the words Charles, Joseph, Louis Napoleon, and Bonaparte get just mad lib hodgepodge, like, moved around a bunch. Because all of these people are Bonapartes. Half of them want to have Napoleon in the name because he's the famous guy.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Got it?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And then Charles, Louis and Joseph were brothers.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And so their names get dropped around, too, between all the kids and cousins. It's kind of like, you know, like from your neighborhood. Like, you would have. Like, who's that guy over there? That's Vincent. You know, Vincent S. Vinnie, Vinnie S. No, that's.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

You're wrong because you always say the last name.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Okay.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

You always say Tommy Gallagher.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Okay.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Shawnee Gallagher.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Because you got so many people named Sean, John, Tom, Matt.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

You have to say the full last name.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah, yeah. And that name is typically Irish.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

But the. But in this case, you have. It depends on the order of operations of where the names are going to come into. So what you need to know about this guy is who's born April 20th. 4:20. Blaze it. He was born April 20th, 1808.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

It's also Hitler's birthday and it was also the Columbine anniversary.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Wait, what?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

April 20th, man. It's crazy. Anyway, April 20th, 1808 is. What do you got?

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I was just. I was just looking up to. I thought it was a Taurus, but I wanted to confirm.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Oh, no, this guy's definitely tourist coded. Because what he's about to do is more. More failed coups than ever imagine until they work.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

So I don't feel like that's Taurus code. A Taurus is like, I'll stay home with my blanket.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

No, no. He stubbornly just keeps doing twos. And everyone keeps telling him over and over and over again, oh, my God. Because he goes by Louis Napoleon.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Also known as Prince Louis Napoleon.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Prince.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. Because again, this is the thing you need to understand, okay? When he was born in 1808, his uncle was Napoleon the first.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

The hand one guy.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

The hand guy.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Okay. Waterloo with my Abba.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Waterloo. That is Napoleon the First. That's the Napoleon. When everyone thinks of Napoleon.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Elba.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. Isle of Elba, St. Helena. All these different things. That one, not Napoleon Dynamite. Oh, okay. Not him. Napoleon. Napoleon with the hair and the big hat and the hand and the thing. I am Napoleon.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Short, short king.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He actually wasn't. That was. You're literally following for. You're falling for British propaganda.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, really? Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

No, it really was. They were like, he's a short little guy. He was average height. Yeah. He later was fat and had ulcers and all these other different problems, but that's a kind of common thing with dictators. Enough. This isn't about Napoleon the First.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

We're going to the third.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

What you need to know is Napoleon the First was emperor when Louis Napoleon was born.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Okay. So he was. His dad was Louis Bonaparte.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay, okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So Louis Napoleon's dad was the brother of Napoleon Bonaparte.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Sure, bro.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Okay. His dad was also installed as the King of Holland.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, tulips and wooden shoes.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yes, exactly. Exactly. Very nice place. And his mom was named Hortense. I cannot pronounce her last name. I'm not even going to try.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Don't worry about it.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

But he was installed as king of Holland because Napoleon the first did this thing as he conquered Europe, he just took family members and he either installed them as king or if they were a daughter or a girl, he married them off. Yeah.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

You kushner them.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah, exactly 100% 100%. So Charles Louis just became Louis Napoleon over time. He just dropped that because it was kind of confusing. His uncle again, Napoleon the first had a son.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

That son's full name is Napoleon Francois Joseph Charles Bonaparte.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Guys, we gotta think of new names. You gotta get in the Google and be like new names.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

But here's what's gonna be easy for it. When Napoleon I is deposed and he is removed from power. Yeah, okay. He's removed from power. There is a minute there where his son is technically the Emperor Junior Junior becomes Napoleon ii.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Got it.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He is then captured and held basically for his entire life.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, damn.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

In captivity in Austria, in Vienna. And he was named the nickname the Duke of Reichstag.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Is this like, the type of captivity where, like, they get a whole wing of a palace and, like, you just can't go over here.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Oh, but yeah, you get a whole wing of palace and by. You can't go anywhere because the fear was always with Napoleon's and Bonapartes in general. If any of them get loose, we will all die.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

This is. So they're Pokemon. The kind that can breathe fire or something?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

No, it's beyond Pokemon. It's not even so much you want to collect them. It's. It's. I'm trying to think of what I was thinking about.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

You capture them, and then if they get loose.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Ha. No, that's not how Pokemon works.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

No, that's not how. Once you capture them, they're yours. Oh, you don't. You don't worry about a Pokemon rebelling. It's kind of like a King Kong type of thing. Like, you're afraid they'll break the chains and then climb the Empire State Building and kill you all like that. Maybe that's like, as close as you can kind of get, but in this case, I love how I got, like, really angry about that. Sorry. It's like a Pokemon. If it gets loose, Pokemon don't get.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

But how dare I not actually know how Pokemon work?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

They go into a ball. I literally have a.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

It was just a game where they played it on their phone during the pandemic.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

I need you to. Oh, my God. It's so much more than that. It's so much. We have a toddler.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And he is going to be into this.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I don't know.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

No, no. I'm telling you right now.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

You need to get right on this now, because he will spend you.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Honestly, nobody paid attention to me when I was little and I was really into pogs.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. And look how this turned out. All right, now you fall down into, like, weird lore holes.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

We built an entire empire about it. But let's talk about the French empire.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay. French empire.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So anyway, Napoleon the second, he gets pulled, he gets held into captivity.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And they hold him there in Austria.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

So he doesn't get.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Don't let him do anything. Napoleon the first, he gets replaced by the Bourbon dynasty. Sure. And that is not liquor. Oh, it's not. Okay. You know Marie Antoinette.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

You know Louis xvi. Yeah. And all those movies. Let them eat cake.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Sun King.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. That. Louis xiv. That is the Bourbon dynasty. The Bourbon. Bourbon, or however they want to pronounce it. That is just a family name.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So these are. They're all Bourbons.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

And then Jim Beam came and stole the name.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yes. And so basically, they reintroduce and they bring in Louis the 18th.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And he gets installed. And there's a moment where Napoleon comes back for 100 days and he gets kicked back out. Blah, blah. It doesn't really matter. Okay. So. Right. For what you need to know.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay. What do I need to know is.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

At this point, once Napoleon I loses power. All right. Shirt. Napoleon.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Got it.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

All of the other Bonapartes, and Napoleon's.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

They all get kicked out of France and they all flee, because again, the French, the French nobles, and the. All these other different people, they are looking around and they go, if there's a loose Bonaparte.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

If there's a loose Bonaparte, we're all doomed.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So they kicked out. And. And what happens?

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

It's like when everybody's like, oh, no, there's a Rottweiler loose in the neighborhood.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yes. No, no.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Get inside. Lock the doors.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

No, no. It's like when there's a bear loose.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

It's just a constant bare loose in New Jersey situation. But Napoleon's. And so they were like, we need to. So they get banished, and he spends most of his childhood in Switzerland. Okay, now this is crazy. Okay. Because. Because he grows up in Switzerland, he does learn French, and he is French, but he speaks French with a German accent.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Because in Switzerland, they have all these different languages. If you look at the way, like, it's divided, part of Switzerland really is French. Another part of it's more German. Another part of it's more Italian. So they have these mixings of languages there. So their accent is very different. And that's interesting, because Napoleon the first, he spoke French with an Italian accent.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

What?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Because Napoleon Bonaparte, like, that. Napoleon is an Italian name.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Because they're from the island of Corsica, which is more Italian than it is French. And the Corsicans were always trying to, like, leave the. The French Empire, and they were always trying to, like, get out and they want to be independent. But then he was like, oh, this is kind of crazy. I just happen to conquer France. And then because Napoleon's from Corsica, then they were like, well, now we don't want to leave because, like, our dude ran the place. So, like, we're the most French of them all. It's a whole deal. Okay.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I was just picturing that, like, Napoleon III has his own version of hoagie mouth. We're like, he's speaking English, but it sounds up.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. I don't like.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

And then, like, OG Napoleon, he's like, boston accent.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yes.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

And I'm like, yo, your shit sounds great.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Tina favors, Amy Poehler on snl.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Your shit's crazy.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Your shit's great.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

I don't like the way you say Qanon, guys. It's Qanon. Shut up. Anyway, the. This whole thing, basically what happens is as he's growing up in this castle, because, again, the rich.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay, so all up in a castle. That's crazy.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

This is the part that's crazy. Right? Then the Bonaparte conquer France and Europe. Yeah. All. They're all in on it.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

But when they get kicked out of power, they still treat them normal. Like, they still treat them like nobles because they. Even though legally they're usurpers, they are still treated really well because they'd married into so many families that everyone's like, well, I guess if we deny them conquering France, then we're denying our own history of how we conquered all these countries because we got a lot of usurpers in our lives. So it's this weird thing where it was like, yeah, it's cool. Just don't go to France. Like, it was literally everybody's role was like, just don't go back to France.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So he sat in this castle and he learned a lot about his uncle Napoleon the first, and immediately spent all the time to be like, oh, that would have. I wish my uncle was still in power. It was the good days back then. And he really, like, had this longing for France.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He thought his family should still be in charge of it. He just had this pining for Paris.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Does that make sense?

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah. I mean, he's a little boy.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He's a little boy.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

He's a little boy living in a Swiss castle.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yes.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Growing up with obscene wealth and comfort. And he's Just like, oh, I wish I was living in the glory days. Like how your life is not bad.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

But then on top of that, though, he's visiting family. So he has family. He lives in Switzerland, but he has family in southern Germany.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And. And again, Germany is broken up little parts back then. And so it. It's all over the place. So he'd visit. What we think of Germany today was actually like these little tiny kingdoms. So he's visiting family over there. He's visiting family in northern Italy. Northern Italy, by the way, doesn't exist at this point in time. It's a collection of random little states. So he's visiting them and then they tell him more about, like, oh, the life used to be so good before the Bourbons came back and before your uncle lost the war. It was so fucking good. And he learned, like, so much from visiting these people in these areas that he was there to see a lot of the push for local national movements. So again, there is no Germany, there is no Italy, but there are Germans and there are Italians and the German people and Italian people, like, we should not be broken up like this. We should be. There should be a Germany, there should be a talent Italy. And he gets really pulled into the idea of these national movements, which is an idea that Napoleon the first really pushed out there.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

This idea of nationality. So he gets super into this and he starts really learning more and more about especially the Italians in northern Italy and how they are pushing back on the Austrian Empire, controlling a bunch of the north.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And also that the Pope is also basically a king in central Italy.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Central and northern Italy is controlled by the Pope directly. He has armies.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

You have the Papal States. So he's super into this idea. And then he enters and becomes a Swiss soldier. He enters the Swiss military academy in 1830.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

He becomes a Swiss army knife.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He becomes a Swiss army knife.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yes.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

At the age of 22. And he was obsessed with the military. He thought it was the coolest thing. He liked the uniforms. He liked the idea of marching. He again. And it made him feel like his uncle.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He really wanted to be like his uncle, who again, he barely ever met.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He was like 7 when he got deposed. So he gets super into this, and then he learns about this secret Italian revolutionary society.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay. Secret Italian revolutionary society who are pushing.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Back against the Austrians.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

All right.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

They're pushing back against the Pope. And he's like, this sounds cool as hell.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And that's how Louis Napoleon reunites with his brother, whose name is Napoleon. Louis.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Guys, we need a new name.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Carl, I'm gonna give you a new name, okay? Because they joined this secret Italian revolutionary society, and that society's name is the Carbonari.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Carbonaris.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

The Carbonari.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, get the sauce.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And I'm gonna tell you all about the sauce they had and explain this group to you right after this.

[Interviewer]

I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

[Dan Morgan]

Hey, how's it going today?

[Interviewer]

It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.

[Dan Morgan]

I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

[Interviewer]

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of yours recently. It said 20 billion won. 20 billion is an insane number.

[Dan Morgan]

Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think somewhere north. Probably closer to 22, 23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Awesome.

[Interviewer]

So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

What.

[Interviewer]

What would I do if I got into an accident?

[Dan Morgan]

Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's £529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24 7. 365.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Wow.

[Interviewer]

Dan Morgan from Morgan and Morgan, America's largest injury law firm. Thanks for coming by the show.

[Dan Morgan]

Thanks for having me. Visit forthepeople.com for an office near you.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

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[Sponsor Voice 2]

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[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

We're entering into the first coup.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay. I thought we were entering into Carbon era because I was getting some. Some pork.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

No, no, we are, okay. We are. We are entering into it because this is really a coup against Australia, Austrian and papal rule.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

This is his first taste of revolution.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

First taste of salted pork.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. So it's Louis Napoleon and his brother Napoleon. Louis, guys.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

They join the carbon air carbonari. I don't know. This is what. This is. What the name means is charcoal burner.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

That's what the name actually means for carbonari is that.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I guess maybe that's because when you fry up the little pieces of salted pork fat, they get all crispy and carbon.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

No, no, what they're trying to do is they're trying to claim that they're the working class. This is. This is like an early, like, proto revolutionary movement. And so the idea was the charcoal burners were a lower member of society that they could also blend into. So think like the Viet Cong, okay? Like, these are the Italian Viet Cong. They're also, like, crazy. They. When they met, they called that place a barrack. And they called each other good cousins.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And anyone who didn't belong to the carbonari, they called them pagani or pagans.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So it's like you either were in the carbonari or you were a pagan, and all of the carbonari were cousins. Yeah. The aim of the carbonari was to create a constitutional monarchy or republic. They didn't care. They're like, we just want to unified Italy and we want to, like, put this thing together. But the other thing that they were truly against was the idea of absolutism, okay. Which was this idea that, like, the Pope or an emperor or a king, that they have the realm of life and death over common people. They wanted stuff like due process. They wanted stuff like the rule of law and all these different things. On going back just a little bit earlier, Pope Pius the seventh actually did a writ of a bull called the Ecclesium Jesu Christo and that condemned all of the members of the carbonari, stated that they were a freemason secret society and excommunicated. Excommunicated all of them.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

That's honestly pretty cool. That only gives you more street cred.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

But here's the thing. Let me go and tell you, like. Oh, I don't know. Are these. These guys seem like evil. I'm like, well, I mean, when you look at their symbol.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, shit.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah, look at them. That's their Masonic symbol. Because again, there's a lot of. This is during a period of secret societies, Guys, you're.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

You're not beating the allegations with that secret symbol.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

But here's the thing about secret societies is for. To bring it for the modern user, the modern listener. Secret societies were basically just in person, discord Servers. Yeah, these were just in person forums, like online subreddits and stuff like that. Like, there is some. They had like secret rituals to get you to join. But the same way, like a Discord server might be, like, send us where your social media is so we can prove that you're a real person.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

That you aren't a bot. Like, there's like things like that are.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Part of Drag Race would have a really cool symbol.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. I do like their flag colors, though.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I disagree.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

I like that tri band because. So it's. It's a. It's a navy blue, a red and a black.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah, I know.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

It's just kind of cool.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I don't think I like black on the flag, you know? No.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

But anyway, the 1830.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Let's get back to 1830. Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

All right. 1830. The Brothers Bros. Louis Napoleon and Napoleon Louis.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh my God.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

They enter into Italy to join the carbonari. And the reason why is because this is around the time when there is a spate. A bunch of revolutions that pop off all across Europe.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

The thing you need to know is that uprisings and revolutions in general are contagious.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

All right. And so what happens at first is there's a thing called the July Revolution in France. It's also known as the second French Revolution. This overthrew the Bourbon monarchy. So the first, the king that they had installed, the 18th after Napoleon, he died, he was replaced by this other guy, Charles. Charles was incredibly unpopular.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And there was a revolution that overthrew Charles. Now, he was not immediately replaced with a republic, but he was replaced with a constitutional monarch, a man named Louis Philippe. I know I'm throwing a lot of.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Names at you and they're all Louis.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

I know. Louis Philippe.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

There's not going to be a test at this, right?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

No, there is not. There is not. But what you need to know is Louis Philippe is known as the citizen king.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Citizen king.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Pro. He is very pro. We should have a democracy.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

So they're going to get rid of him.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

This is a constitutional republic is what he ends up setting up.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I read in the comments that we are a constitutional republic.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

We are people.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

People like to say that. Like, it's like, we're not a democracy.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. No. Anytime somebody does that with the we're a constitutional republic is somebody who actually wants to install a monarchy in the long run. They want a dictatorship in this way, in this weird way. It is. It's still a monarchy. He wants a constitution. They want to build on it. It's not the Second French Republic, though, yet.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

It's not there. We're not there yet. We're gonna get there. But what you need to know is that because this happens, this moment, just the way, like, Zoran winning in New York, like, right now, Zoron winning in New York has inspired a lot of other people, like, oh, let me step up, and I can, you know, maybe go try to primary Hakeem Jeffries or Chuck Schumer or these other different people. The idea of, like, taking out somebody like Andrew Cuomo and something like that is, like, shows that there's a shot. Yeah. And that. That inspires people all over the rest of Europe to do this, including the Carbonari, who've been having issues down in Italy. So they go crazy down there, and it's. There's a lot of different stuff that happens many revolutions. And what you basically need to know is Louis Napoleon. Napoleon Louis and other people across Europe go to join in the fight for Italian unification.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

One of which is Lord Byron and the Marquis de Lafayette.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I don't know who those are.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

You don't know who they are?

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

They sound familiar?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

You should know who the Marquis de Lafayette is from where we live.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I don't know.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

The Marquis de Lafayette was a French soldier who came to America to help fight the American Revolution and was a key ally of George Washington. And. And if he didn't come here, we probably would not have defeated the British. And then Lord Byron, he did a haunted story contest with Mary Shelley, which is the reason why Frankenstein exists.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I love that.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. So there's a. There's a tie in there.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Frankenstein's big right now.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Frankenstein is very big right now.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Right now.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So what you need to know is, basically, the carbonari got their shit pushed in. They got fucking wrecked. The Austrians wrecked the carbonari.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And so the brothers are then wanted by local police. So they flee.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

They don't know what to do. Oh, no. So they're. They're running. They. They can't get to the Swiss border, so they actually aim for France.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Where they're. It's not supposed to go.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

They're not supposed to be there.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

They're not supposed to go. Go there. However, Napoleon Louis. Not Louis Napoleon.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay, so Napoleon Louis, that's the.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

The brother.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

That's the third. No, no, it's the other one.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Napoleon third. Okay.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

The brother gets measles and dies.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, listen, I'm sad for that also. So glad he's out, because I've been so confused.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

I know. And that's why I want to let you know. Yeah. He dies of measles. I mean, because he was there to catch. He wanted to catch RFK's harvest, so he did. Caught it all over his face. And he died of measles. Hortense, the mom, okay, Meets Louis Napoleon, who is now the only one with Louis and Napoleon left in his name. Got it right there. They meet at the French border and they cross into France. Sure. By April of 1831, they make it to Paris, and they are staying in a hotel under an assumed name. And that assumed name. Hamilton.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Hamilton.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

They choose the name Hamilton.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay. That's a choice.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

That is a choice. Hortense, the mom, she reaches out to the king of France, the new one.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

L.A. she writes a letter.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

She writes a letter back in the day. And he agrees to a secret meeting. Oh. Louis Napoleon doesn't go because he's sick.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He's sick. Yeah. He stays at home. She, Hortense, goes. And they have a discussion. And basically they reach a deal. The new king of France wants to be seen as, like, a good guy.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And he's like, listen, let's put some of this behind us. You guys can stay. Even though it's illegal for you to be here, you can stay in France as long as you keep it short.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yep.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

You keep it tight.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

You keep it quiet.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

All right?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

All right. Don't. Don't make any big deals. Don't go running around like a nut job, and you can stay here in France. But at the same time, Louis Napoleon, he wants to be a soldier, and he offers. He's like, I would love to become. Love to become a. Join the French military.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Only a French soldier.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

He's like, I'm a Swiss army knife.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I have all kinds of things I can do. Open me up.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He said, let me get. Let me get these cans.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Cracked open. And the king of France goes, that's a great idea. Just change your name.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay. Because we don't want the name Napoleon in France.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He's like, we don't want a Napoleon Bonaparte to become another colonel.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah, yeah. It makes sense.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

We don't want to. We don't want. There's that. The idea of you being general. Louis Napoleon Bonaparte is a direct threat. Everyone out here gets fucking weird about it.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

So change your name.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Change your name. Louis Napoleon Bonaparte is 23 years old. He's like, fuck you do. I'm not changing my name. So they have to leave. They just have to leave now. They're like.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

So he starts so much shit over that. They got to go.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

You got to go. You got to go. You can't. All right, we tried being cool, but like you, it's funny because we're asking you the most reasonable thing possible.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

But he's 23. You can't get anything reasonable out of a 23 year old's brain.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

No, but also, this is his first shot since he was a very little kid to be in France.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And he's there, and he's in Paris. He's at this hotel. And Louis Napoleon is listening to the people, and he just keeps hearing it over and over again, man. It sucks right now. Things were better back when Napoleon was emperor. I wish we had a Bonaparte in charge, you know, who would make France great again? A Bonaparte.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, no.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. And he gets it in his head that only a Bonaparte can make France great again. Only a Bonaparte, a Napoleon Bonaparte, should be in charge of everything. He starts to think of himself as the only man who can fix the country.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, no, I did. I do not like where this is going.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

No, you are not.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I've done a lot of work to remember who these people are, and now I'm upset already.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Well, can I tell you where they go? Really make you mad?

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

England.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Ah, come on.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah, they go to Britain. They go there first and they hang out for a little bit, and then eventually they make their way back to actual Switzerland.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

But he does go there and start to make some connections in England, and he. He'll. He'll have, like, connections there for a very long time. But they make it back to Switzerland and. But in this transition, as they're moving around, they find out that Napoleon II dies of tuberculosis.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Napoleon ii? That was jr. He got tb.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Napoleon I's son, jr, who was in jail in Austria.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

In jail? Probably a castle.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah, he was in Austrian jail. He dies of tuberculosis. And he was a very young man.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So that means the rightful heir to Napoleon's throne is now up for grabs.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, I know just the guy.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yes, his. His uncle, Joseph Bonaparte.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Joe.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

What's Joe doing here?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So Joe was at one point in time, the King of Spain.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

There was. Wait, there was a king of Spain named Joe?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yes, his name was Joseph Bonaparte. Napoleon installed him as the King of Spain.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

There was a crazy revolution against him.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Sure.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

The British actually invaded Spain, Spain, and Portugal to fight back against it. It's a whole thing. But that guy, after he lost his kingship. Yeah. He moved to Bordentown, New Jersey. Yeah, that's right. The former king of Spain, who was the brother of Napoleon. Bordentown, New Jersey. And so when it. When he. When he found out Napoleon II was dead, Ted, they were like, hey. They said they sent a message to New Jersey. Like, hey, just so you know, you're. You have the rightful claim to the Emperor of France. And he literally was like, I don't want this.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

He's like, I'm living like a king in Jersey.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

I live in New Jersey, the Garden State. Fuck off.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Tomatoes and blueberries as far as the eye could see.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Now, can I tell you a very funny, interesting thing that I found again, going down a tab on this? Joseph Bonaparte moves to New Jersey. His grandson. His grandson eventually becomes the Attorney General under Teddy Roosevelt, okay? Because his name is Charles Bonaparte, he becomes the Attorney General, United States, and he's the Attorney General that oversees the creation of the Bureau of Investigation, and that's what becomes the FBI. So, like, somehow. So you're like, oh, what does that do with anything? Well, that's how the FBI got created. And that's the reason why Kasha Patel hopped on a plane to go fly pick up his girlfriend and cash.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Patel just learned this information. That's why he looks like that, the Bonaparte.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So. Yeah, so. So anyway, so Joseph goes.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Now Joe's out.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He's out.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Happy in Jers.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So. Which means it then immediately goes to the next brother who's around, which is Louis Bonaparte. That's Louis Napoleon's dad, the former King of Holland.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Holland.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And that guy is like, yo, fuck off. I don't want that. He literally. You gotta remember, the brothers all survived what happened with Napoleon the first, and they're all living pretty good lives. Yeah, they're like, we have more money than we did when we were peasants and, you know, minor nobles in Corsica. Like, I remember how things were. I got a house with windows, you know.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Windmill.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah, exactly. There's all these different stuff. And so they're, like, looking around, and he's just like, I don't want it. Which means immediately, Louis Napoleon's like, it's my. He's like. And so now he is calling himself Prince Louis Napoleon Bonaparte.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And he's looking around, and he's got. Now he has it. He has the chart he needs, he has the claim he needs. And now he knows exactly what he needs to do to retake the throne of France.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

What's he going to do?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

A coup. He's going to coup, and then he's going to coup again. And then he's gonna coo again.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Ooh.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And we're about to do a bunch of French coos. You need to stop putting your houseguests on a smelly old pull out couch. Upgrade your spare room with Brooklyn Bedding. Brooklyn Bedding has something for every type of sleeper. Just take their quick online quiz and in less than two minutes, you'll find the perfect mattress. And we have found the perfect mattress.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Number one, I love an online quiz. Number two, I love our Brooklyn mattress.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yes, a Brooklyn Bedding mattress has been incredible for us. We have one with a pillow top. It also has cooling on it. And there's. I want to tell you guys, we have a fleece sheet that Mrs. P just bought. And I typically hate them because I would get too hot. But with a fleece sheet and the cooling mattress, my back is cool, my chest is toasty. Everything is balanced just right. I have never had better sleep in my entire life until honestly this year when we got this mattress. I'm being, I'm being so for real. For real. Right now, every Brooklyn Bedding mattress is handcrafted in their Arizona factory. Brooklyn Bedding even offers 120 night comfort trial. If you don't love your mattress, they'll help you return or swap it hassle free. Go to BrooklynBedding.com and use our promo code Too many at checkout to get 30% off site wide. This offer is not available anywhere else. That's brooklynbetting.com and promo code too many for 30% off site wide. Support the show and let them know we sent you. After you. Check out BrooklynBetting.com promo code Too Many. 1836 is the year that Louis Napoleon decides to invade France.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

With 11 men.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay. I'm not great at statistics, but I feel like outnumbered out the gate.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yes, 100%. But his idea was to copy his uncle, who was emperor of France, who had been deposed to the island of Elba.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yes.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And then he returned to France. And as he marched towards Paris, the armies just immediately started joining him.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah, okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

But the difference was is those armies knew who Napoleon the first was. Yeah, they had no idea who Louis Napoleon was.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

So he was trying to do like a Civil War reenactment. And he thought it was going to go kind of.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He just, he just had this mystical thinking that if he showed up with a couple of different guys, immediately these dudes would just fall behind him and join him and they would march directly to Paris.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Because he never met any other humans.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He also is a person that, that is. You know, he grew up wealthy and he grew up with having people just like tell him the entire time, like, you are the heir. And there's a mystical side to this whole thing. And he's honestly, he's also surrounded by a lot of yes men.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

There's a lot of people that surround him throughout his entire life who are constantly, constantly just being like, oh, no, you're great. Because their hangers on.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

You know what I mean? Like, they're part of the possibility.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I tell you all the time, like, you're doing great.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah, exactly. And then we just fail upwards.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And that's what they want to fail upwards with. And they're coattail riders.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

But they only have 11.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

They only have 11 guys. At 6 o' clock on a Monday, 13 October 1836, Swiss Army Captain Louis Napoleon Bonaparte, disguised in a French colonel's uniform and attended by a fake general and 10 offer officers, marched into the Strasbourg garrison and the barracks of the 46th Infantry Regiment where he then appealed to the men to join him. How'd that go? He showed up. Well, I'll tell you.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

He showed up, dressed up.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He should have dressed up as a.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Fake colonel without, like, he has things on the lapel that he didn't earn.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah, exactly.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

He's stolen valor.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He's stolen valor. He walks in, he's like, I am Colonel Bonaparte and join me. Except he's actually German. He's like, I'm the Colonel Bonaparte. And you know, he's doing that. And then literally, the young men, they look at him and they just complete. Because again, these are so young men. You got to remember, we're in 1836. So we are over 20 years passed when his uncle was.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah, these people never knew about his uncle. Like, lived experience.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

None of them. It's the same way when people right now are currently screaming. They're like, oh, Democrats. Bill Clinton's in the files. And I'm like, I'm 41. I never voted for Bill Clinton. Yeah, he was never.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

He is. Arrest him.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He was president when I was a child.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Like he. It doesn't matter. It's the same thing with these guys. They were like. Even if they, if any of them did remember him, they were like so young.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah, they were like, Napoleon did what with Bubba?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yes. And they. All of these guys are just like, fuck you. I don't know who you are. This isn't our job. I don't take orders from you. And we don't give a fuck about a Bonaparte. And this freaks Louie out. He actually like straight up his brain Breaks down. Yeah. Now his dudes, his 11 guys, his 11 guys, they seize the loke, the head of the local barracks, they go in and they lock him in. And they're in his office, they have him under like, you know, gunpoint. And they're like, we're going to hold you hostage.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

We're getting our 12th apostle one way or another.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. And then through a series of just laughable bullshit, that guy just walks out the back door. He just leaves. He's just like. And so he gets out and then his staff officers for the local garrison leader, they protect him, they show up and there's like all these different things, but the other people who not only are just his staff officers help him, but also his mother in law and his wife. And they show up and they beat the shit out of Louis Napoleon by 8 o'. Clock. Remember this started at 6pm okay. By 8pm everyone was arrested.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

It was a two hour coup. Yeah. But Louis Napoleon, he fled. He ran away.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Strong word at this point.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

It's still what it is. He's still attempting a coup. He's still trying to overthrow the government. Louis Napoleon fled back to Switzerland.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Now when this word of this gets back to the King of France, because this is again Louis Philippe, the same king who was like, wait, this didn't.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Even take place at the, like the castle Strasbourg.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

This is like a border between Switzerland and France.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I can. Okay, that's crazy that he didn't try.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

To take, he didn't even make it to the capitol.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

That's what I mean. Like they had to report to the Capitol that a quote unquote coup happened.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yes.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

That's so funny.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So he gets the word about this and he immediately gets so mad he sends an army to Switzerland because he, he like cable Switzerland and he's like, give me that fucking Napoleon right now. He's going to jail. And then Switzerland's like, oh, you know, well, honestly, he's a member of our army and he's a friend and he's a Swiss citizen and we're neutral, so. No. And, and so at that point he sends an army into France. I mean, into Switzerland.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Which is crazy because again, like that typically doesn't happen, but the Switzerland at.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

The same time is like, well, we're not going to stop him.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. And so Louis Napoleon writes the following letter to his mom, Hortense. Dear mom, it actually does open that way.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yes.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

My dear mother, you have no doubt been anxious, having received no news from me. And now your anxiety will be all the greater when you learn what I have attempted but failed to bring off at Strasbourg. I am in prison here. But you mustn't cry, for I am the victim of a worthy cause, a truly French cause. They are sending me to America, but under no circumstances are you to think of joining me there in my new exile. Life is of little import when the only thing that counts for me is the honor of France. So basically, the Swiss were like, hey, we're not giving you to the French, but you need to get the fuck out of here.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah, you need to go.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

You did a crime, bud.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

So he's going over to jurors to hang out with the cuz.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He's actually. Actually being sent to New York City. Yep. That's what they do. They send him New York. So what they do is they by way of London and Brazil.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So he takes a boat that takes him. You know, he leaves, goes through Germany, catches a boat to London.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And then he goes from London to Brazil for, like, a hot minute.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And then he goes from Brazil to New York.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Again, so it's a lot of. It's a lot of long boating. And the thing is, is he really. He actually does like America because he's treated really well Americans. Even though, especially at that time, like, we're like a king. We got rid of monarchies. If somebody show up, we're like, yo, your looks really cool. I like the epaulettes on your shoulder. And we also were always trying to copy and find legitimacy in the rest of the world.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah. Americans still do that. We're like, we'll talk all kinds of shit. But the second, like, a billionaire is having a debutante ball, we're like, oh, look how pretty they are. Look at them wearing.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Or maybe a Saudi royal shows up and that chainsaw people. And then you're like, oh, let's all just suck his toes.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Mr. B. Said it's cool.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Hey, welcome to Mr. Beastland. It's basically just a carnival.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Like, it's. Mr.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Beast don't get on the Khashoggi ride.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Oh, man, I. Can I tell you something? I love that Mr. Beast is just a series of saw traps that have been YouTube ified for SEO. I think that just speaks great about where the future of the world is heading. Yeah, yeah. But let's talk about the past. Louis Napoleon, when he gets to the usa, he said about America, this here, there is freedom to acquire, but not freedom to enjoy. There is the right to act, but not to think.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yo, bars.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah, legit.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yo, Bars.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

You can buy all the tchotchkes you want to five below, but you can't do shit with else.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. No, basically, that's literally what he was talking about. Like, he's like, you can. You can make money. Yeah. But in making all of that money, you will have no time to enjoy any of it. There's no leisure time. There's no leisure time. And again, there's the right to act, but not to think any of these different types of things. Yeah, he. He's there for a while. He. He's very interested in the States.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

So Funny that he clocked it back then.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Oh. Basically. Here's the thing. You need to know if you read any traveler from around the world who comes to America, especially Guilden Age, and before, they straight up call what we're going to live through now. Yeah. They're like, these people think they're free, but it's crazy.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

The shit they're missing is nuts. Yeah. It's wild. It's like they don't give a fuck about each other, but they're always screaming freedom and shooting guns into the air.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah. Because you have the freedom to have a gun, but you don't. You don't have to think about it. You're not required to think about it. No one will hold you to the fire to think about it. It's insane.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. It's a wild thing. And there's a bunch, especially French travelers, they're really good at clocking America in a way that's like.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Which is why Americans always like, we hate the French. You're like, that's just because they're clocking your shit.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. Because they do. Because they're like, oh. But also, half the time, it's because the French have actually already lived through it.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

With their long history. So they're like, oh, hey, man. Just so you know, like, we did that four times.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Don't do that. Don't. The French are currently on their fourth republic. Like, I want to be clear about that. Like, they. They keep having their republic over there.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

There are buildings in France that are currently like a bar where people drink.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

That are older than America.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yes.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

And are still actively the same bar they were before America existed.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yes.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

You know what I mean?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. No. 100%.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

You're like, okay, child.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. Well, it's the same way like, that we as Philadelphians look at, like, the rest of the country because we have bars in Philly that are older than other areas. And Bostonians feel the same way. There's something about being one of the original colonies when you go west and you meet especially from the west coast and these like, tech guys. Yeah. We're like, I have this break, brilliant new idea. And then they just describe Fordlandia to you, and you're like, henry Ford did that. Don't do that. Oh, my God. And then describe another idea, and you're like, you just reinvented slavery, but with robots.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

That's crazy. There's a lot of that. And the French clock that a lot with the Americans. And it's very interesting. But he stays in America for quite a few years. He again, he mixes with a lot of the elites of New York City. He gets a view of the country. But then he gets word that his mom is very sick. Mom very, very, very sick. So he rushes home. And this is wild to me because I keep thinking about this. Like, you receive word, and then it takes you, like, weeks to get there.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Because, you know, you got to get on a boat and then travel across. And it's just like the timing.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

It's not like people used to convalesce back then.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Exactly.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

You had to go be sick for a while, so people come see you.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Exactly. And so his ma, he is able to make it back in time. And his mom dies in mid 1837.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And she is buried the next year, but he can't go to her burial.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Why did they wait a year to bury her?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Well, it's not a full year. It's like. It's months. But they waited because she had to be buried back in France.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So she's be buried in France. And he couldn't go because it's illegal for him to be in France.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Not allowed in France. Yeah, he got.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He's banned because of, you know, the coup. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he spends the next few years.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Crazy if you get held accountable for a coup.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So here's the thing. He. He does, but he doesn't. And the one thing I want to say as we get deeper into this is if you are ever in power, if any of the listeners here, if you're ever in power and somebody goes and coos you.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

You should shoot that guy.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, you should call for violence on the podcast.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

I'm not calling for violence. I'm talking about a hypothetical. If you're playing a video game where you are running a sim city and One of your SimCity characters tries to kill you.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Shoot that guy.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Because I need you. Okay. Okay. I'm not calling for violence. I'm just giving helpful advice.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Because if someone has an unsuccessful coup and you don't shoot that guy, he will coup again. Yeah, they just keep cooing. And every time they coup, they gain more guys because they're the guy who coos. And everyone's like, well, he's gonna do it. And guys who coup attract other guys who like coups.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Because you know what he does after his mom dies? He goes back to London, he gains the power of more elites, he builds up his name and his connections, and he gets that paper and he does another coup.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Cool.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

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[Sponsor Voice 2]

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[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

We are lovingly supported by our Patreon over@Pearl Mania500.net and obviously with this being our Thanksgiving episode, we want to give a big thanks. Thanks.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

This is post Thanksgiving.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

I know, but this is around the Thanksgiving and people are gonna be watching this full of that turkey meat. They're gonna be, you know, thinking about their family members.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

They use some of the recipes from Vibing with the food. Idiot. Our Patreon exclusive episodes where I teach you how to cook. And we did specifically Thanksgiving and we've done in the past different holiday dishes on there.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah, 100.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

So maybe they've already made them.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Maybe they use your deviled egg recipe that you can find exclusively at pearlmania500.net your shirt, your shirt reminds me of the purple.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

This is not deviled egg. This is butter.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

I know, but to me, this is.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

The butter of a mashed potato.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

I know. When I look at it, I think of the yellow of the yolk mixed with the white.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

If your deviled egg is this color, you need more mustard.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

No, but I'm thinking about blending them together that the white and the yellow to make this color. Anyway, it doesn't matter because what I'm here to tell you is while I Do love and respect the support of our Patreons.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yes.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

The patrons of Louis Napoleon, Prince Louis Napoleon Bonaparte, they go a little above and beyond.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

What do they do?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

They give him £20,000. Okay, £20,000 back then is worth $2.2 million today.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Got it.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And they go, hey, have yourself a fun little coup. So in mid-1840.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Join our Patreon now. So we can afford to do a coup.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

No. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's how you get our Patreon canceled. That was.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Hold on.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Allegedly. That was a joke.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

That was a joke.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Comedy podcast.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

It's a comedy history podcast.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, we're big on the history.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

We're big on the comedy. Shoot that guy. Okay. What? Anyway, so Louis Napoleon. Okay, all right. Louis Napoleon Bonaparte. He gets. He raises $2.2 million.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Got it.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And he uses that money to buy guns, uniforms. He prints proclamations, which back then was a very big deal. Like, wanted to print proclamations. This today is the equivalent of buying a botnet to go on Twitter. But these proclamations declare that he is returning to the throne of France to make France great again. All these different things. He hires a ship, and then he fills the ship with 60 men who would be his column of soldiers.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

That's still not enough.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And these 60 men are in French uniforms. And he collects military men to surround himself with who are going to help him more than the last time. And the thing is, you know, about Louis Napoleon is as much like another lunatic who is currently in charge. He surrounds himself with just lunatic losers.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Crazy people.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yes.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

But one I want to highlight and sad. Beige helped me with this one. Yeah. And we're going to link to her Instagram.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

She helps us with research.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

She helps us with our research. She really highlighted this one for me, and I had to keep going down the tab on this guy just to look into him. His name was Major General Tristan Demonthalon.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

All right. This is the new military commander.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Sure.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He was definitely the strangest of the group. Just about everything about this man was a lie or straight up, just bizarre. Beginning with the term, the title, he would call himself Marquis. He was not a marquis. He was actually a count, but that was. And that was a newer title. He allegedly was wounded, and he claimed that he had served with Napoleon, the original Napoleon from a bunch of different battles, including at Waterloo. That was all a lie. Okay. He had only served on a single battlefield, but he actually refused to fight. So he was at a battle, but refused to fight when he was ordered. He had also had a bunch of Gambling debts. And he topped all of this off by stealing the regimental pay of his own officers.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. So despite all of this, he had somehow. Somehow this guy, Major General Tristan de Montholon, got himself on into the original Napoleon's. What's the word I'm looking for? Entourage.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Okay. He was in his group that went to St. Helena.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So Napoleon, when he. When Napoleon the first, the one with the hand, when he was captured by the British, he was put in this tiny little island in the middle of the Atlantic where he sat there until he died.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yes.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And he had a few different people. This guy was one of them. He was Napoleon the first final confidant. Like, he was one of the few people that were allowed to talk to him. He was promised a major legacy in Napoleon's will.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

But on at least two occasions, he poisoned Napoleon's wine.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Because he got mad at it.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He weakened Napoleon with poison so much that he's probably the reason Napoleon died. And this is the man that Prince Louis Napoleon was like, you're in charge of my forces. The guy who killed his fucking uncle. Because again, he's running around. He's just a con artist.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah. And he would do great.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I can't even imagine where Trump would put him.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Oh, he would be.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I mean, first of all, this guy needs to be a Fox News host first and foremost.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He would have been a fox. No, but that's the thing. He would have been a Fox News host as an ex Napoleon guy.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Who was then brought forth.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

And then he would have the Department of War.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

You know what he gives me? He gives me John Bolton feels. John Bolton with the walrus mustache where he worked with the Bushes, and then they brought him in the first Trump administration, then got kicked out, and now Trump hates him and is trying to throw him in jail. Anyway, so they're all in this boat together.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah. Great.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So they're all on this worst cruise ship ever. Well, no, the good news is they had cognac.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So they're all hammered. Everyone gets hammered to get brave.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

They're getting brave.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

And again, there's not enough of them.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

There's not enough take over a country. No. And also, we'll get into a little bit. Well, I'll give a little reveal on that in a minute. So then they reach France. They. They get out on the beaches.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And they're trying to do it. It's very early in the morning.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

You know, it's nighttime. It's still dark.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay. Because they're gonna catch the French by surprise.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

What? And they're trying to sneak into town.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah. Sneak in town.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

But they're so drunk and loud.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

That a customs officer hears them.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

So they're like. When you're older teenager and you're trying to sneak back in the house after out drinking 100, you're, like, doing that. Like, I'm just tiptoeing.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

But every step is the creakiest flow. Floorboard. And then you eat. You should have turned a light on, because that wouldn't have woken anybody up. But then you. You know, you. You bump into a lamp and that falls over and all this.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Or you have to climb in a window. It's a whole thing.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

It's a whole thing. But basically, they are.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

They're wrecked on cognac.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yes. They're hammered. Yeah. And so this French customs officer, he approaches them, and he sees that they're wearing French uniforms, and he's like, who are you? What are you doing?

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Identify yourself.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Exactly. And the. The men said. One of the men said, quote, we belong to the 40th Regiment and are on route from Dunkirk to Cherbourg, which is a town nearby. And they. They explained that the paddle wheels on their steamer had broken, so they had, like, big paddle boats back then. He's like, our boat broke down, so we're just getting off here. You know, we're just going to march. And they were wearing proper French uniforms, and they did speak proper French. But the problem was, is their uniforms had insignia for the 40th Infantry Regiment. And the local regiment there in France was the 42nd. So they had the wrong uniform on. So as the guy is looking at them, he's like, okay, so I. I have so many questions. Let's just. Guys, let's just clear this up. And it soon becomes very apparent to this customs officer that anyone who's there is, like, not a senior officer. Because they don't speak like soldiers.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Because the thing is, is most of them aren't.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

They're also kind of old. Most of these men are in between their 40s, and even some of them are older than 50. And most soldiers are typically in their, like, late teens, early 20s.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Because you serve for a few years and then you. You leave.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

This is just sad guy cosplay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

This is. I want you to think. Think of the way how the men looked on January 6th.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

That's what I was thinking.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

The gravy seals. Old men. Gravy seals level. And the thing is, is 30 of the 56 soldiers were not Ever soldiers, they were actually members of Louis Napoleon's household staff. We're talking about servants, valets, footmen, a butler, three cooks, two gardeners, a tailor, a banker, and many more.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Like, not him going downstairs in Downton Abbey and being like, guess what, guys.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

I have a great idea.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Uniform just dropped.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

And then the angry Irish chef is like, are you fine? Have a soup on.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Oh, no. Yeah, the anchor. The Irish valet is like, but socialism. But. So the customs officer is literally staring at this gaggle of old idiots. And he's like, what? And it's like 4 in the morning, mind you. So he's tired, he's staring at this. He's like, what the fuck? And then finally, one of the drunk men who is claiming to be a colonel, he steps forward and he yells, do you know whom you are escorting? It is Prince Napoleon himself. And then all of the other people start yelling, bologna's ours. France will soon proclaim the prince emperor of France. And he's like, what the fuck? And then. And then they're all, like, staring at him until the general de month. The scammer. The scammer, he shows up even more hammered than everyone else.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

George Santos is drunk.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yes, he has hammered French George Santos. He shows up and he's like, hey, how about this? We'll give you a pension. And the guy's like, What? He's like, 1200 francs. That's a lot of money for rest of your life if you just look away. And the guy legit just goes, you know what? Fuck it, I don't care. I'm not getting paid enough. And he just leaves, man.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

This is a target.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. He's like, this is. This is fucked up.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I do not get paid enough as the security guard at this Walmart.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Legit. That's a deal with this. Yes, one hot 100%. He looks up and he's like, no, this is on Candid Camera. We haven't even invented cameras yet.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I'm not writing up the paperwork on this incident. I gotta go.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So now the column of 60 drunk men, many of them servants and gardeners, begin to march to the city of Bologne. Okay? And this was their whole idea again. It was very similar to the first time. They're gonna seize the local barracks, and again, they're gonna convince the men to join them.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And then he's gonna start building his army from there. This is his whole idea. So they march into the city. They march into the local barracks. They go, we're here. You're gonna join us. And the local men are like, yo, fuck you, dude.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yes.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

What the fuck are you talking about? It's 5am you woke me up.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yes, you woke me up. A bunch of six year old old fat, out of shape dudes, drunk on cognac, woke me up at 5am not only am I not joining you, you're about to lose your whole life.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

No, come on, come on. I'm a soldier like you. I'm a soldier like you. I'm a soldier, soldier.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

We're going to give you a pension. A pension?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. So Nimolean's officer guys who are dressed as officers, they freaked the fuck out. A local captain, he wakes up and he rises. What the fuck is going on? And Napoleon's men immediately try to grab the captain. Okay, we'll do like last time, we'll try to hold him hostage. And Napoleon yells at him and yells, captain, I am Prince Louis Napoleon. Come join us and you will be rewarded with whatever you desire.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, that's too big. Too big of a promise.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

But the captain replied, I don't know you. You are a traitor.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He's just like, I don't know who the fuck you are, dude. Yeah. And the whole time I'm Prince Napoleon. I'm supposed to be the Emperor. He's like, I don't know who the fuck you are. It's 5am so he then turns to his company of like the soldiers who are now walking out of the barracks, like, what the fuck is happening? And he literally yells, soldiers. This is a trick. Viva Laroy. Fall in behind me. Viva Laroy means long live the king. Yeah. This guy's screaming, he wants to be emperor. We need to protect the king. And the soldiers are like, king pays my check. Okay. And so Bonaparte's men just like, they flip out. Everyone is running around like crazy.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah, I just pictured them like just trying to pull their pants.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

It literally.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Son of a bitch. It is Friday.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So inside, inside of all of this, a note gets out to an even higher up commander who has time to.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Write down a letter.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Well, like they send a messenger. Like a guy gets to the higher up commander and. And he begins to rally his men. And this is when everybody starts to panic. Napoleon's trying to take a man hostage. He has his gun out, he's freaked out and he panics and his gun goes off and he shoots a man in the jaw. Oh, Shoots him right in the mouth.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Musket jaw. Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And everyone's like, whoa. And the police like, what the fuck? I didn't mean I'M so sorry. Like everybody's like, what the fuck? And so now everybody's running around. The entire town is like, was that a gunshot? And it's not like Philly where you're like, there's a car, you know what I mean? Or like somebody drove over one of those metal plates or something legit. It's a sleepy French town.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

It's now at the site.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

It's 5:30am It's 5:30 in the morning. And so everyone's like, what the fuck was that? So everyone in town is like, what is happening? So he immediately gets his guys like, oh, we're gonna, we're on the march. We're on the march. And they march away and they like go to like try to hang a flag somewhere.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I like that you say march. And said it, ran away.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

But he was like getting online. Get in line. Yeah. They shuffle off and it's, it's, it's crazy. So now hundreds of French troops are showing up to capture these 60 men. Yeah. Bonaparte pulls his pistol back out. It's like, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna end it. And they're like, no, no, no. And they like stop him from killing himself.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He really wants to do it. Yeah. And he doesn't. They, they, he, they're able to restrain him. They then flee all the way back to the beach. Now mind you, the boat's gone.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Where's the boat?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

It left. They only hired it for a one way journey.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh no.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So the boat wasn't waiting in case they could leave. But they get there, they can hear the French soldiers coming. So him and his fellow officers try to swim back to England. They just go into the water, but they're wearing heavy wool uniforms, they have heavy boots on and they have cartridge belts on that are all very heavy. So as they start swimming into the water, they're sinking and the French soldiers are shooting at them. Prince Louis Napoleon was actually hit squarely by a bullet which lodged into his soaked gold braided uniform. He had so many braids and things on to like dress like an emperor that it actually saved his life.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Damn.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He was then fished out of the sea by two boats manned by the National Guardsmen. They literally pull him out of the water and they're like, what the fuck?

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He is then taken for trial.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah, I bet.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. He has a six day trial and he's condemned to life imprisonment in a fortress.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And you know what happens next?

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Well, I, I don't want to say anything but like, you did Tell me there were more than just two coups.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah, but he's got to escape the fortress first. And we're gonna tell you exactly how he does this right after this.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

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[Sponsor Voice 2]

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[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And thank you so much. That sponsor or no sponsor, if you support us on Patreon or. But if you were listening that you're like, you know what? I really need to find a good gift for a family member or a friend. Mrs. P just released a holiday guide.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah, it's super fun.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

It's exclusively on our YouTube. It's the two of us discussing ideas that she has for people in our life. And then I say whether or not I like the ideas. And it's just. It's a fun video.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

And nobody got weirdly combative about certain gift ideas that I had.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Nobody.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Nobody ranted about different things that maybe I thought would be just generally a nice idea.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

No, nobody did that at all. But Mrs. P, we're not here to talk about gifts.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

No.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

We're here to talk about the capture of Louis Napoleon Bonaparte.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah, he's in a tower.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah, he's in it. He's literally in a fortress. And that fortress is staffed with 60 men. A different 60 men.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

A different 60.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

It's a different 60. Yeah. Now, he was given permission to buy a horse. They did actually allow.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

This is not jail. You are not in prison if you're able to buy a horse.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

This is rich white people jail, especially in France. He's literally in a fort basically by himself. He's allowed to buy a horse to exercise with inside the courtyard. He also is given a 40 square meter garden plot inside the fortress that he is allowed to tend. And he, he said, and I quote, I spend a lot of time gardening. I plant flower seeds and shrubs. The pleasure I gain from tilling a few cubic meters of earth leads me to think that we have within us many inner resources and other unknown constellations upon which to draw.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah, he's absolutely right. That is how gardening makes you feel. So he got a free castle, a free horse, and a raised bed.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He bought the horse. He bought the horse himself.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

He had the opportunity to buy a horse.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yes.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I'm not gonna be able to buy a horse.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Well, the thing is, he also. He also owes, like, millions of francs in debt to lawyers and the legal fees of all of the men that followed him into the coup. And he's like, writing these nice letters to people's like, everything's fine. It's like, you are. Oh, you are swimming in debt. You owe so many different things. You're literally in jail.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I love that. And he's like, you know what, though? Yeah, I just grew a little bit of basil.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah, 100%. But here's the thing. He's also saying. Again, he's saying all of this in a very insane Germanic accent to the French guards.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Dear Marie, I miss you so greatly. Also, I've gotten really into fresh cut flowers, and I've decided to name the horse after everyone else in my family. Louis.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. Yeah. The horse's name is Joseph Louis Charles Napoleon Bonaparte.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

The thing is, is. Is one thing I've really left out of this.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

What's that?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He's super charming.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, he's. I mean, I'm wondering how he's doing this Riz.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

For days. Okay, okay. Very, very charming. To the point where all 60 of the guards at the fortress, they all fall in love with him.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Because he has this, like. And again, the same. He was in America and when he was in London, he has this old world aristocrat sensibility about him that was. Was starting to go away. And so it was this, like, kind of coolness to him.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Is it Count Von Count of Sesame street?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yes, yes, 100%. That's. That's 100% what he's like. And the thing is, is like, even though all of this happened, people said it was incredibly hard to dislike them. Everyone said. So much so that on May 25, 1846, his doctor and a few other friends outside the prison helped him escape.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Wait, his doctor and the people that.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Work there help not people that work there?

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Outside the prison, the doctor and some other people had a little conspiracy and they figured out an elaborate plot to get him out of the prison.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

That's what happened with that hot lady in the Penguin show. Right? Remember this? The Penguin show? We watched the Batman Penguin and then the lady with the black hair, she got put in the mental institution by her dad because he was covering up a crime. But then the doctor that, like, wanted to, like, flirt with her, he helped get her out.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Okay, this is violently different than that.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

By that, I mean, like, it's not violent at all, actually. Do you want to know how they got him out?

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

How?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

They put some different clothes on him and handed him a stack of wood, and then he walked out the front door.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Wait, what?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

They literally were like, here, we'll dress him as a day laborer. Because fortresses have people that come in and out of it all the time. Because you need wood. Because back then, they didn't have central heating. All these different things. So they just put him in some dirty clothes, and then they handed him a stack of wood so he could block his face, that is. And then he just walked out the front door. And then he returned to London, where he dreamed of another coupon.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I feel like you just give up on coups. No, you just give up.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

This man loves a coup. Babe.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay, get. Couldn't we just get into the gardening or the being in a couple?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Gardening is its own form of a coup, if you really think about it. You are overturning the will of nature to bend it to your own.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yes.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So this is what he does. He returns to England.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Got it.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And he sits there for a little bit of time.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

And nobody questions him in England, how he got out.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

No. He tells everybody. It's a daring escape.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, that just makes him cooler.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Saga. Everybody thinks he's cooler. Like, again, this is one of those things you need to understand. Every time he fucks up, just like. Like, this is SEO. Engagement.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

This is how to get headlines. This gets your name.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

This guy's a fucking streamer. That's. He's a streamer.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He is. He is Andrew Tate.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah, this is Andrew Tate.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

This is Andrew Tate, Nick Fuentes, all these different guys. Like. Like, this is just that thing where fucking up just makes him stronger. Yeah. Because, like, remember the first coup he had his. Absolutely. The first thing he did with joining the carbonari was just him and his brother. That's two. Yeah. The next time when he tried to coup, he had 11. Yeah. The third time when he tried to coo, he had 60. He's great. Each coup is growing.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He's like, this is just a. Even though they're almost all virtually the same plot, I'm gonna walk in, and then people are gonna go, you're the best. We love you. Yeah. So he Goes back to England and he's coming up with new coup plans. He meets some people, he finds some more people to financially back him and all these different things. And the thing is, he doesn't have to wait too long, because in 1848, a series of revolutions spring across all of Europe. The way we talked about in 1830, another series of them happened in 1848. There's a bunch of nationalist uprisings that happen all across Europe and happen, including in France. Just so you know, Les Mis takes place in between the July Revolution of 1830.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And this one. Yeah. And there is what that was when Victor Hugo was, like, caught on a street and saw this stuff. So, like the Les Mis time, if you're watching, like one of those movies, like that's around. That's the feel of France at that time. Yeah, it's constant. Like this idea of revolutions. There's constantly these barricades that are growing, going up, all these different things. So in 1848, Louis Philippe is removed from power in a revolution, and the true second French Republic is declared.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And the day In February of 1848, the day Louis Philippe flees France in exile to go to England.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Louis Napoleon leaves England to go to France.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, he says, I see an opening.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He does see an opening.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

He calls that parking spot from across the lot. Yeah, I'm parking right there.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And if anybody tries to pull in that, I'm gonna take him out.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Exactly.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So he goes, he sets sail, he arrives in France, and then he goes and immediately reaches out to the provisional government. And he goes, hey, just so you know, I'm here. And the provisional government goes, get the fuck out. What are you doing here? Absolutely not. No, no, no. The last time we had a republic, a Bonaparte showed up and fucked everything up. We do not want you here. Get the fuck out. But here's the thing. There's now. Because there's now holding elections, and they're free and fair elections. A few people step forward and they put up a Bonaparte Party. They're called Bonapartists.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Shut the fuck up.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. Okay, so there's. There's. He has his own political party. It's very tiny, and they nominate him as a candidate and they win.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

They're just a vocal minority.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. So they have this thing called a National assembly, and they. They win four seats in the national assembly. And they are like, we want you to be our guy in the National Assembly. And he's like, no, I'm not going to be your guy in the National Assembly. And there's a second round of voting in September, and this time he accepts it.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Got it. So you got to switch from Democrats, Republican.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. Kind of.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Before you run for president.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. 100. Kind of like that. Yeah. And so what he does is in that switch over in September, he accepts the win, joins the National Assembly.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And immediately starts prepping to run for president of France. Instantly. Because he's like, oh, my God, I did it. I walked into France, and look, the people are already calling for me to be in charge. It's happening. My literal plan is happening. This is crazy. He's also, like, 40 years old. Yeah. Remember, because he was born 1808. He is our age. Imagine if I walked into Paris right now and was like, I am the emperor of France. And everyone's like, yeah.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

They'd probably like, honestly.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Honestly, at this point, it's a little bit better than a crone. He's trying to kill Candace Owens.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

The. Allegedly.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

We don't know.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Who gives a shit anyway? Louis Napoleon, he sets up immediately. Prince Louis Napoleon sets up a campaign headquarters.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Sets it up at a hotel, the Hotel du Rhin, and at a palace. And he is accompanied by his companion, Harriet Howard. Now, she is a merchant's daughter who had a lot of money.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And she basically just finances most of his campaign run and all these different things. She always kind of stays.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, yeah. Like, what's her name? Who financed Marian Adelson. Yeah, yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

100%. This is the Marian Adelson. Marian Adelson is to Trump as Harriet Howard is to Louis Napoleon.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah. But there was also the other lady that did it for RFK Jr.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yes. Yeah. The one who was his vice presidential candidate, whose name I forget right now, but she.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

She bankrolled that whole fucking thing.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. Or like Tim Allen. She's just a rich person who's like, I like him.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He speaks to me in French, which.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Is actually a rich person, the way that I wouldn't be giving money to politicians.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Oh, my God. So here's what you need to know, is that he is not great at actually being a politician.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

What do you mean? After all this?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So he. He rarely actually goes to the National Assembly.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

They love it when politicians don't show up.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He doesn't actually do his job. He doesn't. He rarely votes, like, in the National Assembly. He's not a great speaker. And when he does speak, he speaks slowly and in a monotone with a slight German accent. And his opponents ridicule him all the time.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Everyone's like, look, at this fucking joke. They keep calling him a turkey who believes he's an eagle.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Wow.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Because an eagle is the symbol of the French Empire and that was Napoleon symbol and that's a symbol of Rome and all this different stuff. They're like just a fucking turkey.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah. Famously, Benjamin Franklin said our American national bird should be a turkey.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

But then they went with eagle because they were like, that's way cooler. And I'm like, turkey would have been dope, dude.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

But what he's really, really, really good at. Can I tell you what he's really, really good at and how he does well in the elections? He begins. No, no. He uses large scale propaganda.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, isn't propaganda just talking shit?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

No, it's Twitter bots.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He starts printing at a crazy rate and he starts pointing out and just evoking name recognition the same way RFK did, where like, if you actually listen to what RFK wanted to do, you're like, oh, that's lunatic. I don't want you to be the President. But most people liked RFK because they liked the idea of Kennedy. They like, they recognize the name RFK with him. They recognize the name Louis Napoleon Bonaparte. And they've just been through a really havoc filled time and so they're like, well, you know, it was, it was better back then. And again he's running on this idea of making France great again. He brings up Napoleonic legends, memories of national glory, and he keeps saying over and over again how he's going to bring back these grand times of peace because they've also had wars and all these other different things. He succeeded in recommending himself to every group of the population because he kept promising to every different group the thing specific for their special interest. So when you think back to 2024, you know, like, Trump was really, really good at reaching across and being like, I'm going to give the Maha people sprinkle a little bit over here. Yeah, I'm going to give these people over here. I'll sprinkle a little bit over here for the Tulsi Gabbard people. I'll sprinkle a little bit over here for the anti immigration people. I'll spread a little bit over here for people who care about business. And so he was able to promise order and prosperity to the middle class and farmers would be offered assistance to the poor and then all these different groups. So on 4 November, the newly launched second republic's constitution that proclaimed freedom, equality and fraternity was based on the principles of family, work, property and Public order. So he basically stood there and said, I'm gonna be for law and order.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And I'm going to make. I'm going to have an affordability agenda. That's literally what he ran on.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

The price of groceries and eggs.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yes, 100%.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Got it.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So the elections are held.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

He's going to win.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yes.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

In a landslide.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He wins huge. He wins 5 million, 5.4 million votes from across all classes of the population. Nobody else. Everybody else. Like, it's so fractured. So like the candidate for the poor wins like a huge chunk of the poor, but he doesn't win any middle class. The candidate for the middle class, they win a huge chunk of the middle class, but nobody else.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

It's just name recognition.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

It's 100% name recognition. And he's able to reach independence.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And that's it. And there was enough political parties.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

There was a bunch of French libertarians.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. The Results announced on 12th December took everyone by surprise. No one was expecting it. Quote, this is no mere election. This is no mere election. It is a veritable national acclamation that was said by a publisher in the press.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

It was huge. And now he's president of France and, you know, he decides to do as president of France.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Let me just, let me take a minute. You know, just like when he won the American presidency, you're just like, how did he do it? Right. Okay. He's not going to be happy with just being president because his uncle wasn't just president.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

So I feel like the next move is to somehow just be President forever.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yes, 100%. And you know how you do that?

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

How?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Another Coup.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

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[Sponsor Voice 2]

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[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Well, Mrs. P. We're getting deeper into the holiday season.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And I just want to remind everybody that we are always here to help you Fill those times when you're driving to your family, when you're just trying to get through it, or if you're working those long holiday hours. And if you're always looking for extra content, please check it us [e-mail] now, Mrs. Pig. Yes, let's talk about what I would probably say is his final coup.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

The electric coup. Boogaloo.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah, this is his final coup. There are then a lot of more things that came out of this. But I'll tell you the reasoning for his coup. Because he's president.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah, he's already won.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He's already won. But the thing is, is that again, the country just overthrew a king. They just overthrew a hereditary monarchy. They are like, we're an established republic again. We want to make sure there are no kings.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

No kings protest for that. So in their constitution, the original constitution, 1848, they wrote in there that the president can only serve for one 4 year term.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Got it.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Just one. Can't run for reelection.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Louis Napoleon, after getting elected, he's like, listen, I'm super popular. I think people would really want me to be here a little bit longer than just four years. I can do a lot of really cool stuff. And he put forward a law to actually change the constitution, to not put him in charge forever, but to give him a ten year term.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Ten year term?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. He's like, let's just change it from a four year to a ten year. I'll just, still just do one term. But it's ten years. Give me ten years, guys.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah, please.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And his idea being I'll get in for 10 and then I'll convince them to remove the term limits and then I'll run again and again and again. Which is actually what Xi Jinping has done in China and a few other different people have done throughout history. This is whenever they start pulling term limits, that's when the guy's like, I'm not leaving Trump 2028. Anyway, he, he puts this thing up for a vote in the national assembly and it narrowly loses.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay. Just barely loses.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Barely loses. So he gets to cooing again. Yeah, immediately. He immediately tries to figure out, he's like, I tried to legally change the constitution. I tried to throw out that, that line that says I can't run for president again. And they, they push me back. So he gets together a small group, a small group of military war council. And now there's one guy I want to really highlight in this group because again, he surrounds himself with Psycho lunatics. Think like Michael Flynn or think like Kash Patel or rfk. You know, just these Looney Tunes who have been laughed at and most of history until this point. And then Louis Napoleon, like, stumbles into office. Then they're like, I guess he can have wherever he wants.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And the guy he has here is General Saint Arnaud.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Now, this is a. This is literally a mercenary. He was a mercenary in the Greek insurrection for independence. Now, this is when Greece broke away from the Ottoman Empire. Okay. Turkish. Ottoman Empire. He fought against them. After doing that is working as a soldier of fortune there. He then became a greengrocer.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Because he went for. So he went from, like, army guy to selling vegetables.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Then he decided to become a vaudeville type comic singer.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Perfect.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So, yeah, so he went to. Basically.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

So he's Stavi.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah, he was a YouTuber of his age. He becomes a YouTuber, basically.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Stavi.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And in between spending times of his performances, so he would get up, he would do, like, his comic songs, and then he would walk off stage and he would. He would lose at every type of game of chance possible.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So like poker, Any of those different things. And so he lost so much money while working. Is basically like a comedic lounge singer at casinos.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, he was. What's his name? Who? That's the norm.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

MacDonald?

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

No, the up, down funk guy.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Oh, Bruno Mars. Yes, he's Bruno Mars. Oh, my God. Yes. Oh, my God. He is Bruno Mars. But he is so bad at gambling. He goes back into the army to join the occupation forces of Algeria, which is a French territory at this point. The French had conquered Algeria, which is in North Africa. They were doing horrifying things there this entire time. So he goes there, and then he learns how to suppress populations with the Algerian army. With the French army of Algeria. So he's there, they come up with this plan, and they try a few different ways to be, like, figuring out, like, how can he extend his power. Yeah. Because basically his term will end in 1850. 1853.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Sure.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And this is 1851. So he's like, fuck it. If I'm going to do it, I got to pull this trigger now because I'm popular right now. If they start gearing up for another election, that people be like, will get mad. I'm taking away a potential choice.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

There are no candidates yet, so I need to do this right now. Was. Was Louis Napoleon's idea. Yeah. And he's also known as, at this point, the Prince President.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

President Prince is. Because again, they. Everyone Acknowledges his royal claims, his imperial claims that they exist. But it's like, jokingly sure. So what they do for the coup this time. He has a lot of troops.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah, he's got a bunch.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He's got a bunch because he's president.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And he gets a bunch of groups of troops, especially ones from Algeria, that are loyal to him, to occupy the National Printing Office and along with other facilities and important buildings across Paris. So they cover the entire city in the middle of the night again. This is. It's dark out.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

It's.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

It's very night. And this is back when at nighttime, people just went to bed.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So everyone wakes up to posters all over Paris that declared that the national assembly has been dissolved and that Paris is under siege.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

They're just like, hey, yeah, it's all crazy.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

There's a war in Portland. We have to send in the troops. There's a war in Chicago. We have to send the troops. And, like, then we have tiktoks where we can see that in Portland and Chicago. That is not happening.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

They just putting the military in there.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

But he shut down TikTok because he went and held all the National Printing offices.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah, exactly.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So nobody's allowed to print newspapers to say anything. Otherwise the troops then march around and start doing. Putting members of the national assembly under house arrest. The ones that he knows will immediately fight back. Yeah, they arrest 12 of them. So then a couple hundred deputies, they step forward and they're like, hey, you shouldn't be arresting those guys. He's like, fuck that. Arrest those people. So he arrests a bunch of them. By the time all of this is done, he will have arrested 26,000 people, sending thousands of them into exile into the colonies or just chasing them out of the country. Some of those exiles will be overturned in the courts, but in general, he just basically identifies the opposition and gets rid of them. Part of the opposition is Victor Hugo, the writer of Les Mis and others. But he was initially a huge supporter of Napoleon, of Louis Napoleon. But much like Liz Cheney.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He saw around this moment when this insurrection coup happens. He goes, well, this is cr. This, guys. I didn't want this. I didn't think the coup guy would coup again. Yeah, I figured if we gave him power, he would be happy. And then he stands up and he goes, this is too far. And he tries to stage an opposition. And he was clip. Quickly rebuffed.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Barricades go up all over Paris similar to Les Mis style, because that's what the French would typically do. But they were quickly routed because, again, nobody had any clue that he was doing this.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Nobody thought the coup guy would coup again. It's incredible because this is also called an auto coup.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So this is your cooing yourself, which is wild.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

An auto coup. So it's like a auto subscription. It's automatically gonna renew?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

No, it's like self. It's like a autoerotic asphyxiation. You're doing it to yourself. Like, that's the thing is that, like, what's different with this coup versus a lot of other ones? Other coups are truly usurping. You're kicking someone else out of power.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

No, you're just kicking out all of your opposition.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

You're kicking all your opposition out, and then you're just declaring that I am the only one.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

By December 10th, this happened very rapidly. By December 10th, Louis Napoleon was in complete control of France. Victor Hugo, he fled for Belgium, where he would live for the next 20 years.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Sure.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He immediately. Louis Napoleon immediately put strict press censorship into place. The freedom of speech guy immediately locked down. Freedom of speech. Who could have seen that coming? And then he held a massive vote. He had a referendum.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He asked the people, do you like the coup? Yay. Nay. You got to vote. He actually made a big deal. You had to vote. Mayors in towns that were allied with Louis Napoleon stated that anyone who didn't vote, they would put their names out. We want to make. We want to make sure everyone's involved. We're a democracy was their big point. 7.4 million people voted yes that they approved the coup. 641,641K voted no. 1.7 million people abstained. List. Now you're all on a list. Louis Napoleon declared that this was a clear mandate that everyone clearly loves. They love a coup, folks. They're incredibly fun. I love a coup. Cuckoo. It's great. And his critics noted that there was a lot of irregularities with this vote.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

With the voting machines.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

With the voting machines and other things with the count. And a lot of people said, this looks a little rigged. These numbers look a little off. But Louis Napoleon just kept moving forward.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah, of course.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And so he spent the next year writing a new constitution.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, good.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Immediately, he said that he was going to bring in experts.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Sure.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He didn't. He just had his inner circle.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Prince President's inner circle. Wrote a new constitution.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Miller there.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah, it was. It was. It would be the equivalent of having Stephen Miller and Steve Bannon and Matt Gaetz sit down and come up With a new document. This New documents. Great. It protects everybody's liberties. It said Jeffrey Epstein. Never heard of him.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

It's called the Big Beautiful Bill.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

It's called. Actually just call it like the new document. It's literally called the new because again, they don't have. Good. That's the nickname of it. It's also known as the Constitution of 1852.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

It's me in a Google. New document.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

New document. What should we call it? I think I'm not lazy. You're lazy. Under this new constitution, Louis Napoleon was automatically reelected as president.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, for sure.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

With his new term starting in 1852. And under Article 2, the President could now serve an unlimited number of 10 year terms.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, unlimited number of 10 year terms.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Smart.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So immediately he's like, I'm not immediately emperor. That's crazy. He just said to say, no, no, I can rerun every 10 years. He's like, we're just going to give it 10 years. We'll try this again in 1862 is what he tells everybody. But also inside this Constitution, he was immediately given absolute authority to declare a war, sign treaties, form alliances and initiate his own laws.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Perfect. You know, needs Congress or state reps or anything like that.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah, yeah. So he does that early in the year, by the end of 1852. Okay, November of 1852, the French Senate, because they had similar to the American system, they have a Senate and a National assembly and then a president was like the way this was structured, the French Senate could initiate a referendum and they did. And they initiated and scheduled a new referendum asking the people, hey, should we call the prince president, Emperor? It just feels kind of right, doesn't it, folks? Shouldn't we just call him Napoleon the Third? Don't you think Emperor Napoleon sounds better than president? Don't you folks? And they held a vote.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

7.8 million people voted yes.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

253,000 voted no. 2 million didn't vote at all.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

It's always 2 million didn't vote at all.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. And how many got.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

How many did Jill Stein get?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Louis Napoleon became Napoleon iii, Emperor of the French, and the Second French Republic was dead. Long live the Second French Empire. That's his. His more or less his final coup.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay, you don't need to again after that.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

You don't need. Once you're emperor, you don't need to go again.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Now you just have to protect yourself from other coups.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

That's 100% is the thing you have to do. And you know how you do that how you, you build out the constitution and you start aiming your guys outside of your empire.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Make sure they stay busy. You see, what he did immediately when he became emperor is he changed the constitution again.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

But the thing is, you need to understand is his coup was so strong that the only thing they had to do to change the constitution is they changed the word president to emperor.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Sure.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And then they made it hereditary.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Right.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So they got rid of the election part. They just were like the president. Cross that out emperor and cross out elections and just write kids. Yeah, that's it. That's all he did. Everything else was the same. He still had the same powers. He was, or he was basically that. He then spent the rest of his reign starting to build up things. And when we come back after this, I'm gonna tell you some of the highlights of his reign.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And then how it, how it all ends.

[Interviewer]

I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Hey.

[Dan Morgan]

How's it going today?

[Interviewer]

It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.

[Dan Morgan]

I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan and Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm.

[Interviewer]

That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of yours recently. It said 20 billion one. 20 billion is an insane number.

[Dan Morgan]

Yeah, 20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think somewhere north. Probably closer to 2223 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows. So the, the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

[Interviewer]

Awesome. So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident?

[Dan Morgan]

Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's £529 from your cell phone. We are always open. Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 247 365.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Wow.

[Interviewer]

Dan Morgan from Morgan and Morgan, America's largest injury law firm. Thanks for coming by the show.

[Dan Morgan]

Thanks for having me. Visit forthepeople.com for an office near you.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

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[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Mrs. P. Where were we?

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

He's the boss.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He's the emperor.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

He's got to start attacking enemies abroad and within.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yes.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

To protect from the coups.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So one thing he does to protect from the coups is. Remember how I kept bringing up the barricades?

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yes.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He rebuilds Paris.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So Paris had very narrow streets.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Now they have very wide streets.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh. Because you could build the blockages, and if you. Roads are wider, it's harder to build.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

The blockades, harder to build the barricades. In fact, actually, when you look, whenever we see today, like, when you think of, like, those big, beautiful white buildings that are running around Paris.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Those are all Napoleon iii.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Those are all built during his time. The wide avenues, those were his because he was looking around and he was like, oh, I'm not getting. I'm not getting taken out one of these popular uprisings. Because his whole thing was. He was like, I've seen this enough times. So they widened the roads, they changed everything. You know, he started building monuments to himself and his family. You know, he rebuilt the capitol in his own image. Who would do that? Who wants an arch anyway? So he reel bids that, and then the next thing he did is he kept stating that his empire means peace.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

He's the. He's the. The emperor of peace.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah, I'm the peace candidate. Le empire say las paz pais. This empire means peace. He then immediately started invading his neighbors and doubling the size of France's foreign imperial holdings.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So the empire of France grew. He colonized more of Africa. He went deeper into Algeria, Southeast Asia. He spread into. Oh, wow. Really into French Indochina, which is Vietnam, and Cambodia, which will come up in the 60s and 70s, in the 19th, in the next century. He also invaded Mexico.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

What?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah, he invaded Mexico.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

That feels really far out.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Would if you weren't insane. If you're insane. It makes total sense. Yeah. Basically, there's. It's a. It's a complicated thing, but he allied with an Austrian duke to install that person as the new emperor of Mexico. And he wanted to control. To have an imperial puppet state there. So he sent his armies over there during this is in 1862. So America is in the middle of a civil war.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So we can't do anything about it.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

We're not stopping.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And when the civil war ended, we literally turn and went, yo, what the fuck? And because one of America's big things. I mean, when this comes out, who knows if we invade Venezuela by this point, but America always has viewed everything south of us as our backyard and our only playground.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And if anybody else tries to step into South America or Mexico or the Caribbean or. We typically flip out.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

As a country.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

And not me personally.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Not us personally, but I mean, we. As in the grand American experiment, we. We just love to just send our troops down there. And so a lot of things happen down there, but the biggest thing that happens is this is where Cinco de Mayo comes from.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So, yes. Cinco de Mayo is a celebration of the Napoleon. Of Napoleon III's armies. The French army being defeated at the battle of Puebla.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And so that's more important in America.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

The white women's are like, let me get margaritas.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Margaritas and tequila. Yeah, that's. But that's where that comes from. So that. That it's. It's a. It's another form of independence from a foreign thing. Because a lot of people don't really ever study Cinco de Mayo. And so they're always confused. Why? Because they would think it would be them overthrowing the. The Spanish if it's. If Cinco de Mayo is similar to July 4th.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Right. Because we overthrew the British. That makes sense. Those were our colonial overlords. But like, again, Mexico, France, all these different. It was all Portugal.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

It was. Everybody was going.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Everybody. Yeah, everybody was going down.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

All right, so let's. Let's move on because I don't want to get lost in Mexico again.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

No, exactly. And that's what happened to his army and to the. The Austrian guy. He installed it. That guy eventually was executed by the Mexicans. And also that was. There's a lot in there. And there's that whole book you cover. Covered.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah. On our story report I did on the hacienda.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah, yeah. The book was just called Hacienda, Right. Yeah. It was a haunted hacienda book. Ultimately, ultimate Napoleon III's actions. The thing that will tie all this off.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Is the Franco Prussian War. Sure.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

That sounds familiar.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

It is a fight between France and Prussia. Now, Prussia is a German state. Remember I told you earlier that Italy wasn't unified and the Germans weren't unified?

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yes.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Prussia was the biggest military power. And they had this guy there named Otto von Bismarck. Otto von Bismarck.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay. This is starting to Sound like history class.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yes. We're getting closer to things you might have heard of in history class. Otto van Bismarck was the prime minister of Prussia, and he tricked Napoleon III into starting a war because he needed the French to start the war so the. So the Prussians could invade.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Got it.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And he, Otto von Bismarck, used a thing called Bismarckian theory.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And what that is is you get all of your. All the people you want to get allied together, you give them a common enemy.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Give them a common enemy. And that common enemy will put all these disparate parts who usually are fighting together, and then you can unify them. And so he created this. This German unified confederation. They went to war with the French. So there's a grand German army against a grand French army. The Germans, under Prussian leadership, whooped the shit out of the French. They actually beat them so badly that Napoleon III himself took to the battlefield. This man isn't like. Is 68 years old.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He took to the battlefield to try to lead his troops personally at the Battle of Sedan.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

The French Emperor was so out of his depth and so depressed about at this point that a doctor that was in his entourage wrote this quote, if this man has not come here to kill himself, I don't know what he has come to do. I have not seen him give an order all morning. Whoa. He was just kind of stumbling around depressed and confused. Napoleon personally ordered the troops to surrender and was then taken as a prisoner of war by the Prussians. When his wife. He has an empress at this point. When his wife back in Paris heard the news that the Emperor and his army had been taken prisoner, she reacted by shouting at the Emperor's personal aid. No. An emperor does not capitulate. He is dead. They are trying to hide it from me. Why didn't he kill himself? Doesn't he know he has dishonored himself? Everyone literally is like, dude, kill yourself. Like, everybody. It's crazy. It's crazy how many people tell him to do it.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah. Especially because in the earlier part of the story, they were like, don't do it, man. Don't do it.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Kept trying to do it.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

You got a lot to live for.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

A new government was established back in France through. Via a popular uprising.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Sure.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

This government was initially called the Government of National Defense. It's later known as the Third Republic.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

This is the Third French Republic. And this is the one that will exist for a while. Yeah.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

After the Third Republic comes the banana Republic.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

There's. That's a different place completely. That's in. We cover the Banana Republic. Actually, we covered it in our Bernays episode. Yeah, about those. Down South America and in Central America. But the Third Republic is declared and Paris is immediately placed under siege.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Napoleon III spends the rest of the war as a prisoner of war in captivity.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Okay.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He spent the entire time begging the Germans to let him coup the new Third Republic.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

They're like, bro, give it up.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

He was like, listen, let me go back. I'll be the emperor. It'll be a puppet state, Right. I'll overthrow this new thing and I'll do whatever you want. Please, like.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

And then, yeah, Putin. I'll do whatever you want. I'll be your puppet prince.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And the Germans are like, dude, no one will listen. Listen to you. You. Everyone hates you now.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

We're not sending you back. The new national assembly officially removed Napoleon III as the head of state. And then Napoleon then is exiled with his wife and children to Great Britain.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Oh, they go back to England.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

They go back to England.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Got it.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

The Prussians win the war.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And the thing that's most important about this, when the Prussians win the war, they declare that Germany is now unified into a single German empire. And the man who will be in charge of that will be named the Kaiser. And that declaration is declared and signed in the hall of mirrors at the palace of Versailles. The palace that Louis xiv. The sun.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So Germany defeats their old nemesis, France. Stands in their fucking head like, we're.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Going to write our paperwork here, bitch.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. They literally sign and again, which gives them further legitimacy. We not only defeated this grand empire over here, that now we can declare our own.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And from that moment forward, a lot of things. A lot of land changes hands. A lot of things happen. The power balance of Europe is now shifted in a way that no one could process. And this is the building blocks that begin World War I.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yes. That's why this. These names are.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yes. All of these names are setting up. What, like Bismarck is there?

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Bismarck he.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

No, not Bismarck he.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I can't do. I can't beatbox. I love Bismarcky, though. I know his mom lived right near us when we were in South Philly.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. Yeah. It was always. That's always weird.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

There's like, so many people that were, like, right around the corner from us in South Philly. Like, oh, yeah, that's biz Marquis mom. Yeah, I feel like that should. I feel like.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

And Meek Mills cousins were like, well, they were everywhere.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

They were everywhere. There's so many Meek Mills.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

But, like, specifically ones That I knew. And I'm like, hey, how are you?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah. But anyway, that is the story of Napoleon iii, the emperor who just couldn't stop cooing.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Wow. I don't see any correlations between anything that's going on right now at all. No, no personality traits. Nothing. I am just horse blinders on.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

No, no.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Because I was in prison and I got to buy a horse because how did we have money? It's about horse. Money is expensive money. I'm not letting this go.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

I know, I know. But no, that was it. It's a wild story. He's also. Napoleon the Third is one of those people that people always forget because again, Napoleon the First at like Waterloo or that movie they made about him. There's that on Apple. Apple tv. They had the guy. Joaquin Phoenix.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

So there's like a lot of it's up, like people like dressing up as Napoleon the First.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

And his soldiers. And there's a romanticism around that. The War of 1812 and the grand army and all this different stuff. Napoleon III is from that weird period of history that everybody ignores and that we keep fucking repeating.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I think I will say, I think that might specifically be an America problem because I feel like if we grew up and lived in Europe, in France, Germany, Britain, we would have had different history classes because their history is so much more intense. And it. And with Spain, like and Portugal, it just all keeps going back and forth, back and forth. So like they know their history better than we do because we're all. Our American history is self centered narcissism where we're like, we're the coolest. We didn't do anything. Like we didn't learn about. We learned about World War I, but we didn't learn about this stuff because they were like, guys, we have to talk about.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

I want you to know something.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

I learned about this stuff in public school.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

You did?

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

I learned about all this. How do you think I knew to look it up? Like I. I learned about this stuff in public school.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Maybe I wasn't paying attention.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

You went to Catholic school. I cannot stress to you. They kept teaching about angels instead of this stuff.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

Well, angels are more important because let's. I only have one cool God. Yeah.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Woo.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

I'm super Christian now.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Christ is emperor. I don't know. This is just what it is.

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

We've been in here a long time.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

Yeah, we have it. It's getting very warm. But you know what is also getting very warm? You guys with your comments which we will reply to down in the after party in a few weeks. Go ahead and check us out at Pearl Mania 500 now. Thank you to everybody who supports us everywhere. Thank you to our sponsors. Thank you to you for liking commenting, subscribing and all those different things. Mrs. P. Any final words?

[Host 2 (Possibly the wife, Mrs. P)]

It's almost December.

[Host 1 (Possibly the husband)]

It's literally, like, right there. Too many frauds and too many scammers that we wish weren't real. Too many cons and too many spammers. And we're starting to feel like we've got too many tabs. Open it. Too many tabs. Remember to smile.