RUINED: The UGLY side of E.L.F. Cosmetics | TMT 145

Summary

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Podcast Summary

Podcast: Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500
Episode: RUINED: The UGLY side of E.L.F. Cosmetics | TMT 145
Date: September 14, 2025
Hosts: Pearlmania500 (Alex, Mr. Pearl Mania) & Mrs. Pearl Mania

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Overview:

This episode dives deep into the recent controversy surrounding e.l.f. Cosmetics and their rage-bait marketing campaign starring comedian Matt Rife. Mrs. Pearl Mania, driven by concern for their own shareholder status (yes, they own e.l.f. stock), meticulously investigates how this marketing misfire ties into broader trends in beauty, influencer culture, corporate decision-making, and the sometimes bizarre history of the e.l.f. company itself. Along the way, the hosts maintain their trademark banter, wry pop culture references, and playful tone—even as they tackle the ugly side of beauty marketing.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Matt Rife x e.l.f. Controversy

• The Ad:

  • On August 11, e.l.f. Cosmetics released an Instagram ad featuring comedian Matt Rife and drag queen Heidi N Closet, cast as “affordable beauty attorneys” in a spoof commercial. Matt Rife’s punchline: “I know a thing or two about red flags and pricey makeup. You deserve better than that.”
  • Quote (07:13 | Mrs. Pearl Mania):

    “Matt Rife says, ‘I know a thing or two about red flags and pricey makeup. You deserve better than that.’”

  • The campaign’s premise was a tongue-in-cheek legal skit, patterned after e.l.f.'s previous “Judge Beauty” Super Bowl campaign.

• Why the Uproar?

  • Matt Rife’s Netflix special recently opened with a domestic violence joke, alienating his primarily female fanbase (which had propelled his rise via TikTok crowd work).
  • The hosts dissect how his turn from “the girls’ comic” to “trying to impress the Rogan boys” felt like burning bridges for clout.
  • Quotes Matt Rife’s special (26:23 | Mr. Pearl Mania):

    “I feel like if she could cook, she wouldn’t have that black eye.”

    • Mrs. Pearl Mania’s reaction:

      “That’s the joke he opened with. Immediately the Internet, specifically on TikTok, starts—people are live-TikToking from their couches: ‘What the fuck, Matt Rife?’”

  • Mrs. Pearl Mania contextualizes the insult, noting the statistically greater risk of domestic violence for women (the core beauty market):

    “To me, it seemed like he just wanted to burn down the audience he had to build a bridge to the Rogan-verse.” (25:36)

2. Who Is e.l.f.'s Audience? Marketer Blindness

• e.l.f.’s Audience:

  • Their demographic is predominantly women and "gal-adjacent" people, as Mrs. P names them (20:07).
  • The episode underscores women being the most lucrative, engaged, and communal spenders in events—contrasting with “boys brunch” as a rarity.

• How Did This Happen?

  • The podcast uncovers that e.l.f.'s CMO, Corey Marchisotto, chose Rife based solely on analytics: young TikTok-skewed, female-heavy audience—without considering his reputation fallout.
  • Quote (43:15 | Mrs. P):

    “They asked specifically for audience demographics. They did not…scroll to page three. If you Google ‘Matt Rife controversy,’ it comes up front page.”

  • Marchisotto’s non-apology statement:

    “While Elfino and Smarnas closes today, we will continue to make the case against overpriced beauty.” (32:04)

    • Mrs. P: “No apology in there. That’s so ‘I’m sorry you were offended’ energy.”

3. The Outrage: Weak Response & Social Media Fallout

• Aftermath:

  • e.l.f.'s apology was a vague Instagram post, refusing to remove the ad and making no amends.
  • Community demanded action: donations to domestic violence charities, a real statement, or pulling the campaign.
  • Still, the ad remained, fueling anger and undermining e.l.f.'s “inclusive, DEI-friendly” branding.

• Comparison:

  • The conversation recalls the Bud Light / Dylan Mulvaney controversy:

    “I didn’t see anywhere trending a woman putting a palette of e.l.f. cosmetics up and then shooting it with an AR-15 like Kid Rock.” (31:15 | Mr. Pearl Mania)

    • Mrs. P.: “I’m pissed, but I have all this stuff. I’m not going to throw it away, I’m going to use it. Apparently, I’m using it.”

4. e.l.f. Brand: Values vs. Actions

• History of Inclusivity Marketing:

  • e.l.f. previously spotlighted diversity with campaigns like “So Many Dicks” (highlighting lack of women/diversity on corporate boards), trained women for board roles, and partnered with DEI organizations.
  • Also branded as the go-to “dupe” company, making quality, low-cost alternatives to high-end makeup—accessible to all.

• The Hypocrisy:

  • This misstep particularly rankled because e.l.f. relentlessly markets itself as the affordable, empowering, “for everyone” beauty brand.

5. e.l.f. Company Origin Story (60:32–70:00)

• Founding:

  • Started in 2004 by Scott Vincent Borba (ex-Hard Candy founder; beauty industry vet) and Joseph Shamah (23-year-old NYU biz student whose dad funded the project).
  • The “aha” moment? Borba noticed women with luxury bags bulk-buying dollar makeup, realizing an untapped market.

• Growth & Disruptor Model:

  • e.l.f. launched with $1 products online—the first digital-first beauty brand—deliberately undercutting traditional drugstore price points to hook buyers.

6. Profits, Price Hikes, and Road Acquisition

• The Pivot:
  • e.l.f. leveraged viral, low-cost products and social media, but recently raised prices (citing inflation), then dropped $1 BILLION to acquire Hailey Bieber’s “Rhode” beauty brand just days later.
  • Quote:

    “Guys, look at this sad little lip gloss with googly eyes, we’re so sad…But we do have exactly $1 billion to buy Hailey Bieber’s cosmetic brand.” (76:16)

7. Shareholders, Power, and the Capitalist Machine

• Ownership:
  • e.l.f. is now publicly traded, with major stakes held by financial titans BlackRock, Vanguard, and JP Morgan Chase.
  • Mrs. P (jokingly): “I own $50 in e.l.f. stock, so now I have enormous opinions.”

8. Wild Founder Lore: Borba’s Christmas Carol

• What Happened to Borba?
  • After e.l.f. made him wealthy, Borba experienced a “spiritual exorcism” at a party, was “shown visions of hell” by St. Michael, and left the company to become a priest, donating his fortune.
  • Quote (84:36 | Mrs. P):

    “He says that St. Michael came to him and performed an exorcism…and showed him portals Borba had opened to allow the demons into his life.”

  • Mr. P: “Now Matt Rife might have just cost me our retirement.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Matt Rife’s Netflix Opener (from transcript) (26:23):

  Mr. P: “What Matt Rife said was abhorrent and Terrible. But I have to also point out…hack. That’s a hack joke…A famously misogynistic joke that’s existed for a very long time.”

• On Women-Centered Audiences (20:07):

  Mrs. P: “Having an audience that’s predominantly women is the best possible audience…We buy the merch, we buy the t-shirt…the gal audience is the best audience.”

• On Marketing Hypocrisy (54:57):

  Mr. P: “So for them to miss the mark and sin like this…by getting a guy who opened his biggest special ever with a DV joke is really, like—it’s beyond the pale.”

• On the e.l.f. Name Origin (68:18):

  Mrs. P: “E.L.F. actually stands for Eyes, Lip, Face.”

• Beauty Hurts (81:44):

  Mrs. P: “Beauty hurts is the thing your mom tells you when you’re little.” Mr. P: “Please tell me that Mrs. P just lied. For the love of God, I need that to not be true.”

• On Corporate Ownership (80:49):

  Mr. P: “Blackrock?…Vanguard?…Those are the big three evils…You forgot JP Morgan.”

• On Early e.l.f. Pricing Model (70:54):

  Mrs. P: “Each product cost exactly $1. This wasn’t just competitive pricing—this was a direct challenge to the industry.”

• On the Absurd Founder Arc (84:36):

  Mrs. P: “He says St. Michael came to him and performed an exorcism…showed him the portals he’d opened…then showed him his soul was going to hell.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |-----------|----------------------------------------------------------| | 03:39 | Overview of the e.l.f. & Matt Rife ad campaign | | 06:42 | How the ad went wrong: Red flags, quotes, context | | 13:46 | Matt Rife, crowd work comedy, and audience dynamics | | 24:55 | The Netflix special’s opening joke, fallout, TikTok rage | | 32:04 | e.l.f. non-apology and community reactions | | 40:01 | e.l.f. refuses to delete campaign; fixing things? | | 43:15 | The CMO’s blindspots, analytic-driven misfire | | 54:57 | Hypocrisy vs. e.l.f.'s past “woke” campaigns | | 60:32 | Company origin story—party, founder oddities | | 73:46 | Announcement of price hikes, road acquisition | | 76:40 | Exposing the cutthroat profit machine vs. DEI narrative | | 82:28 | Founder leaves to become priest; Christmas Carol vision |

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Tone & Flavor

The hosts maintain a playful, irreverent energy while packing in sharp social commentary—mixing makeup tutorials, fast-talking rants, internet lore, and historical asides. There’s open mockery of marketing fluff, an emphasis on the intersection of “girl world” and money, and a consistent highlighting of the dissonance between e.l.f.'s branding and actions.

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TL;DR Takeaways

• e.l.f. Cosmetics’ latest ad campaign flopped because they failed to reckon with Matt Rife’s problematic image, alienating their predominantly female consumers.
• The fallout highlights corporate tunnel vision on follower demographics over true reputation or alignment with values.
• This saga is particularly stark because e.l.f. has built its brand on affordability, “dupe” culture, inclusivity, and girl power—and yet failed to apologize, act, or even pull the ad.
• The company’s founder, for extra podcast lore, literally left to become a priest after a “Christmas Carol”-style supernatural come-to-Jesus moment.
• All of this makes Mrs. Pearl Mania want to defend her “$50 empire” and call out corporate bad actors on behalf of fellow makeup lovers everywhere.

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For further rants, makeup experiments, and niche internet research, check out the full episode or head over to their Patreon.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

It's that time of year again. Back to school season.

[A]

An inst.

[B]

Instacart knows that the only thing harder than getting back into the swing of things is getting all the back to school supplies, snacks and essentials you need. So here's your reminder to make your life a little easier this season. Shop favorites from Staples, Best Buy, and Costco, all delivered through Instacart, so that you can get some time back and do whatever it is that you need to get your life back on track. Instacart. We're here. Y' all know Elf Cosmetics?

[A]

What are you talking about?

[B]

It's the dupe brand.

[A]

What's a dupe? You mean talking about one of the guys from the X Men?

[B]

No, dupe brands are like knockoffs. And they recently had a big controversy with Matt Rife.

[A]

Oh, Matt Rife. I hate that guy. Crowd work guy?

[B]

Yeah. Mid crowd work guy.

[A]

Mid crowd work guy.

[B]

So his terrible dental implants could be negatively affecting our stock portfolio.

[A]

What do you mean, our stock portfolio?

[B]

Don't you remember a couple of years ago when you got really into the Robinhood app and bought a bunch of stocks?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, a lot of guys, every guy kind of got into Robinhood and crypto for like a minute, and then we all deleted the app and we moved on with our life.

[B]

Okay. But I didn't delete the app, and I still have the stocks. Well, we have the stocks.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wait, we're shareholders?

[B]

Yeah. In Elf Cosmetics.

[A]

What are you talking about?

[B]

So here's what happened. I was doing research about Elf Cosmetics. There's all kinds of crazy stories about it, including the fact that one of the original founders, who's like a multimillionaire, got Christmas caroled and ended up becoming a priest.

[A]

How did you find out all of this?

[B]

Because I did my research by opening too many tabs.

[A]

Remember to smile. Welcome to Too Many Tabs, a podcast where a husband and wife duo sit next to each other at a desk. My name is Mr. Pearl Mania, and.

[B]

She is Mrs. Pearl Mania.

[A]

And we are here to talk to you about all of the fun things that we have discovered and lore dumped all over each other for your viewing and listening engagement. If you're viewing us on YouTube right now, obviously, like, subscribe, comment, do all those things, but also hit that hype button.

[B]

Hype. Let's get hype.

[A]

Hype button is out.

[B]

What the hype button does.

[A]

It's a new button that pushes you to a hype tab.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That might get you, like, three extra views.

[B]

Listen, we need them.

[A]

We need them because for those of you guys who don't know, YouTube is suppressing a lot of content right now.

[B]

Not ours. Not definitely not controversial.

[A]

Not every episode of our podcast that has ever been posted. Ever. Missing underneath the restricted tab. But today's episode is all about Elf Cosmetics, which you have lovingly put around here.

[B]

I need it. I needed you to be able to see the things. The things that we have in the house. Here's the thing. Elf Cosmetics has been in a lot of hot water recently with controversy. Deservedly so. Yeah, Right. The thing is, they did kind of a rage bait ad, which is the all the rage right now.

[A]

Like Sydney Sweeney.

[B]

Yes, exactly like that. The good jeans thing.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And so this. The. Here's my thought. I got mad because number one, what they did was messed up.

[A]

Yeah. What.

[B]

What he said was messed up. Choosing Matt Rife was messed up.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But also I. And you own a little bit of stock in Elf Cosmetics.

[A]

Yeah. And we. And you have to. You have to declare that you're a shareholder.

[B]

Yeah, I'm a shareholder.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And now that I have 50 bucks moving up and down, I got big opinions.

[A]

Yeah. And that. Listen, y', all, I want to let you know right now, if you get in the way of Mrs. Pearl Mania's money, that's the quickest way to becoming an enemy.

[B]

Listen, they're negatively affecting my latinum.

[A]

I forgot. I always forget. I'm married. Across ranking.

[B]

So I started doing research on Elf, Right? Because I was like, when are they going to fix this situation? Because in my opinion, they haven't fixed the situation. But then as I'm doing research, I'm falling down these rabbit holes and opening way many tabs. The story got really wild. I mean, obviously there is a mediocre crowd work. Comedian Justin Bieber's wife shows up. There's dark money, investments, and then a millionaire who, like, Had a full Charles Dickens experience and is now in seminary.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. And so I. I need to explain all this to you because it was a weird couple hours.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you've. The whole time, you kept, like, grabbing these random vials and going, how did this. How did we get here?

[B]

Yeah. Also, I do want to just start out. There's not gonna be a button. This is a no news episode.

[A]

Oh, yeah. This is.

[B]

This is a girly Good Vibes only Girly pop episode. Okay, well, I have taken over.

[A]

Real quick. Real quick. Good Vibes plus Matt Rife.

[B]

Yeah, I don't wanna.

[A]

It's Good Vibes plus a Matt Rife reference every now and then. Yeah.

[B]

There's only so much I can do.

[A]

Yeah. There's only so much to try.

[B]

So. Of content with positive vibes and silly billies.

[A]

Yeah. And. And I. And I have been informed that the board has been put into a closet.

[B]

That I locked it.

[A]

Yeah, she locked the board away. And I said. I said, what are we doing this week? And you were like, not the board. And I said, where's my board?

[B]

We're talking about Blush. That's what we're talking about. Okay, so here's the thing. Let's start with the controversy.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

So you start with your bearings. On what.

[A]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[B]

Okay, so they've come under fire. Elf cosmetics, because on August 11, they made a little commercial on Instagram, and in this little commercial, it was Matt Rife and a drag queen named Heidi in Closet. And they were playing these roles of lawyers. Okay.

[A]

Heidi in Closet.

[B]

Yeah, she's incredible. We love her. Stay in Heidi and Closet forever.

[A]

Okay, got it.

[B]

She's great.

[A]

Heidi in Closet. No, I just. I always, like, I always have to take a minute with every drag queen name because it's always, like, a good riff and a pun.

[B]

They have great riffs.

[A]

And so when you said it, I was like, heidi. Okay, got it. Got it. Heidi in Closet. Okay.

[B]

Incredible.

[A]

So it's Matt Rife and Heidi and Closet. Okay. And a drag queen.

[B]

And then.

[A]

And what are they playing?

[B]

So the video itself is set in a fictional law firm, the law offices of Elfino and Smarnas. Right. And it's a parody of one of those, like, iconic 90s early aughts law firm commercials. You know the ones. And so Rife and Closet as a rifing Closet.

[A]

Rife and Closet. Rife and Closet is a very funny.

[B]

Yeah. Rife and close. They are acting as affordable beauty attorneys. Okay, okay. And they. They have, quote, gone after they've gone to court for millions of clients, helping them access beauty products that they deserve at prices that won't injure their livelihoods. Matt Rife says, quote, I know a thing or two about red flags and pricey makeup. You deserve better than that.

[A]

Wait, Matt Rife said that?

[B]

That was his quote.

[A]

That sounded. That's like. That makes no sense for Matt Rife.

[B]

It doesn't make sense for Matt Rife. He. What does he know?

[A]

I don't know. I don't know what he Like, I mean, beyond him doing crowd work.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And maybe does he say his red flag like one of his tags?

[B]

Like, I mean, he is a red flag.

[A]

I know that, yes. I every. He is a red flag. But I'm saying though, is like. Like, if you had Jeff Foxworthy, right, You'd be like, don't be a redneck. Wear Elf cosmetics. That would make sense. His whole thing is don't be a redneck. Like, if Larry the Cable Guy famously, who plays Tomato from Disney's Pixar's Cars to.

[B]

Not our favorite movie.

[A]

Not our favorite movie that I've watched four times this week. If. To Mater. Sorry. If Larry the Cable Guy was like, you want to get her done with this beautiful cosmetic? That would make sense, right? If Dave Chappelle was just like, I'm transphobic, I'd be like, okay, yeah, that makes sense. These are all of their things. All their things.

[B]

Their main bits.

[A]

Right. But, like, I don't understand Matt Rife. Just be like, him being the red. Because there are. There are. There are red flag guys.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know who would be great, actually, who I'm immediately thinking of? What's his name? Is it Kyle? Kyle Pruitt.

[B]

Oh, yeah, he's the one.

[A]

The guy from TikTok.

[B]

Yeah. He tries to, like, help you bully men.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Him. He would have been perfect for it.

[B]

Funny.

[A]

And he actually. Similar jawline, I think, naturally.

[B]

Naturally.

[A]

I think. Yeah. I think it's natural.

[B]

Allegedly.

[A]

Well, listen, there's no alleged thing.

[B]

The line in there about deserving products that won't injure their livelihoods was an incredible choice of verbiage, in my opinion.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because the thing that makes Matt Rife controversial in this scenario is that cosmetics predominantly are marketed to women.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. And which.

[A]

Which they have a drag queen in the episode. Which is good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, that is good. Because drag queens wear makeup, a lot of makeup. And they know how to use every day. Yes, yes. Some of Your favorite makeup YouTubers are drag queens.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I Can't tell you how often I'm trying to fall asleep. And Mrs. P's iPad is on. And if she's not watching people make drugs in Colombia on crime Talk, that's on TikTok. If she's not watching crime, than she is watching typically drag queens put on me. It's either drag queens or Australian women.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You don't watch American women.

[B]

No.

[A]

Do makeup. You're like, they. There's nothing they can teach me that.

[B]

I don't already know.

[A]

There's nothing an American woman can teach you about makeup. But if you get our Trixie Mattel. If you get. And what's an Australian woman you watch?

[B]

Oh, there's a thing called beauty news. I like the beauty news.

[A]

Beauty news. Okay, these are. That's the light of the iPad that is keeping the entire room just bright enough that I can't reach deep.

[B]

You're such a liar. Because I always fall asleep before you because you are up doom scrolling and I go close the phone. You're never going to fall asleep. You're going to do getting.

[A]

I'm not doom scrolling. I'm doing my research about.

[B]

No, no, it's not here. This is not the episode. Girly pop episode. So here's the thing. Millions of women, I need to point something out. I look this up, I looked up the stats. The women are the biggest market for cosmetics.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm including drag queens in this. In the United States, the cosmetic and beauty industry generated an estimated $94 billion in 2023 with projections to reach over $104 billion in 2025. So women are a huge sector of financial push for cosmetics. Right.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So we should care about their opinions when it comes to how they're being marketed to, in my opinion.

[A]

And it's also a multi billion dollar industry and you're talking about, I mean, let's say market share. We're probably what, 95% of the market is for beauty products. Specifically. Specifically makeup.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And especially for Elf's makeup.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because like, again, as a man, I've never heard of Elf.

[B]

You literally use Elf every time we record this podcast.

[A]

What are you talking about?

[B]

Grab your makeup bag. He has a makeup bag. Because he does have to wear makeup.

[A]

Yeah. And listen, I finally went, I know Zoc Doc isn't a sponsor this month, but I've been talking about it. It's actually been a running theme with the Zoc Doc episodes about my weird eye because I've had this weird. So I finally went to a dermatologist Specialist.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And it's finally doing better.

[B]

Yeah, but we haven't covered up.

[A]

We had to. It's finally doing better and I haven't been wearing it as much.

[B]

So that's the spray.

[A]

That is. That is Elf.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. That is Elf.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. That is Elf.

[B]

That's your concealer.

[A]

That is Elf.

[B]

The other products are not Elf.

[A]

Okay. What's Mac?

[B]

Mac is my favorite makeup company.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Right. Elf is in there. Obviously. These are things I owned and you've owned and. But Mac is.

[A]

Well, we're married, so everything you own, I own.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Well, that's what you tell me about our checking account.

[B]

Yeah, that's true.

[A]

You're always like, oh, you mean our checking account. I'm like, okay, sure.

[B]

Our YouTube channel.

[A]

Well, yeah, but I got the play button. I was so excited. I was like, oh, my God, I finally got my YouTube play button. And you just did the back of the hour YouTube play button. And then last week we premiered your face. And then I was like, oh, it's her channel.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I'm.

[A]

Your YouTube play button.

[B]

It's my. I'm going to scratch my name on it Anyway.

[A]

To write Mrs. In front of it.

[B]

Yeah, nailed it. Mrs. Pearl Mania 500 label makers. And, like, print it out and then just stick it over. Also, the whole thing is Matt Rife doesn't wear a lot of makeup. Right. Like, he wears some, but he doesn't.

[A]

Know one of these. He doesn't own. He doesn't even know how to do one of these things.

[B]

Yeah, these things are.

[A]

These are. What are these called? I don't even know what this is called.

[B]

It's just a headband that you use when you wash your face or put makeup on. You look great.

[A]

Well, listen, when I. Whenever I. With long hair.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If you're washing your face, it gets the ends wet.

[B]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

And then you feel crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I just remember the first time I saw one of these. These makeup headbands on a Get Ready with me. And I was like, what is that?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I found it.

[B]

You know, they have wrist things, too. I have them. Somebody got them for me for Christmas. It's the same thing, but you put it on your wrist like a sweatband. And so sometimes when you wash your face, water runs down your back, your hands, and it's really gross. So you put them on and it absorbs the water that goes down your hand when you wash your face.

[A]

Well, you just roll your sleeves up.

[B]

No, it's a. Okay.

[A]

Just roll your sleeves up. Get a real job.

[B]

Get it. Okay.

[A]

Roll your sleeves up. But y' all out here with email jobs talking to me. Y' all ever dig a ditch? Talk to me about Elf cosmetics.

[B]

So dig a ditch. Do you know what Matt Rife said that upset the women?

[A]

I was. Here's the thing. I don't know any Matt Rife jokes because he's a crowd work guy.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

So real fast for the audience, don't know stand up comics doing crowd work is not supposed to be the whole show.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's supposed to be like maybe two or three minutes to assess the vibe of the room. Sometimes to get control of it. So, like, if you ever seen a video where it's like this epic stand up comic slams a heckler, that's. That's literally. That's the same as like a substitute teacher, like yelling at the class clown to assert dominance. That's what that moment's about. And then the same thing with the interactions and stuff like that. This has become a thing that happened post Covid especially, and a way for people to make short form videos for Instagram to be able to promote themselves. Comedians like posting crowd work where they're speaking to people in the audience because then they don't have to write another joke. See, one thing about standup comedy that a lot of people don't know is that almost everything that's happening in front of you has been done before. The purpose stand up comedy is a lie. The lie is that what you are seeing is being thought of at that moment. It's not. It's been meticulously written down, practiced repeatedly, and worked to be able to fit into almost any situation. The same is actually true for crowd work, which is what's crazy because you can hear these people over and over again. There's certain ones like, hey, I don't come to your job. And like, if somebody's yelling, a heckler's yelling. There's the old one of I don't come to your job and smack the dicks out of your mouth. Like, is a thing that you would scream at hecklers for a very long time. And like, people, oh my God, that's so funny. I'm like, he didn't write that. That person didn't write that. That joke was written 35 years ago and everyone wrote it down and then they heard other people do it. And because it seems like it's in the moment, people don't ever assume that that has happened before. Matt Rife has gotten very popular from doing crowd works. Particular where he would be talking especially to women in the audience.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so women would be interacting with him. And maybe that's where the red flag thing comes from.

[B]

Yeah. Well, here's the thing. You just touched a touch point that I was going to bring up.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Which is that Matt Rife built a huge following on TikTok with his crowd work. Tiktoks, right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That following was a lot of women. Women love him. Number one, he was a cutie patootie guy. He's got the cool jawline that he was definitely born with. Those strong teeth that definitely are his because he paid for them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so, like, he has a specific aesthetic that, you know, a lot of ladies love. And he's telling silly jokes that weren't really super offensive, but they were still kind of edgy. And he. He masked a huge following on TikTok and Instagram.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Almost all of ladies.

[A]

Yeah. And part of it too is because he's a handsome guy and he's talking to them and he's talking to them like people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They. The assumption was that he wasn't a bag of shit.

[B]

Yeah, that was the assumption.

[A]

But the problem you have is that Matt Rife has dad issues. Oh, he's got a dead dad. And you know, that's not good. And especially for a stand up comic within the Joe Rogan existence. You want.

[B]

They need a daddy.

[A]

They need a daddy. And they also want to feel included.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And Matt wasn't feeling included because his audience was mostly ladies. And so he wasn't being talked about positively.

[B]

Yeah. On all the other boy comedians.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Were like, oh, Matt Rife, the girl comedian.

[A]

Oh, yeah, the. Oh, yeah, the comedian for girls. And it's like, okay, dude, again he making millions of dollars. It's like, just buy a Jet Ski. Yeah, I'm gonna. I'm gonna tell you all right now. Just buy a Jet Ski.

[B]

Just buy a Jet Ski.

[A]

Anything that any. If you're trying to fill your dad hole, buy a Jet Ski. Let's map out this week's amazing destinations and travel tips. Honestly, Will, I didn't plan any trips.

[B]

But I did switch to T Mobile.

[A]

With their new family freedom offer. That's not the itinerary we're following.

[B]

Well, I'm departing from ATT and emb a new journey with T Mobile.

[A]

They paid off my family's four phones.

[B]

Up to $3200 and gave us four new phones on the house.

[A]

Bon voyage. Introducing family freedom. Our lowest cost. Will switch our biggest Family savings all on America's largest 5G network. Visit your local T Mobile location or learn more@t mobile.com FamilyFreedom up to 800 per line via virtual prepaid card typically takes 15 days. Free phones via 24 monthly bill credits with finance agreement eg Apple iPhone 16128 gigabyte $8,229 99 cent eligible trade in eg iPhone 11 Pro for well qualified credits end and balance due if you pay off earlier. Cancel contact T Mobile. High interest debt is one of the toughest opponents you'll face unless you power up with a Sofi personal loan. A Sofi personal loan could repackage your bad debt into one low fixed rate monthly payment. It's even got super speed since you could get the funds as soon as the same day you sign. Visit sofi.compower to learn more. That's sofi.compower P loans originated by SoFi Bank NA member FDIC terms and conditions apply. NMLS 696891 if you want to understand really what's been happening with comedy in general, there's a great YouTube video. I don't love to reference other people, but there's a guy named Elephant Graveyard made an excellent YouTube video about the death cult that has taken that's killing comedy. And it's all about Joe Rogan, the Austin experience. And Matt Re is mentioned in it repeatedly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because a big part of it was he would be going to these comedy clubs. He's going to hang out with other comedians, his old co workers. Right. After doing some big major theater where he's performing for a 10,000 screaming girls.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then he goes to Chuckle Fuckers in West Virginia and they're like, oh, Matt Rife series, not a real comic. He's like, no, I'll show you. I'll show you.

[B]

Yeah. And it's that that's so crazy is like you have the opportunity to have a million dollar audience. That is so. I will. This is my hill. Having an audience of women and okay. Having an audience that's predominantly women is the best possible audience.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because. Okay, so if you, if you have an event and you're trying to sell tickets to the event and the gals want to come to the event and I'm including gals as a overarching term. Okay.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

All the, all the genders that feel galish, you're in.

[A]

Okay. Got it, got it.

[B]

Yep. And so if you throw an event and the gals want to go, I'm a Gal, Right. I call six of my friends and I say, hey, listen, I bought tickets. Do you want to go get brunch? Then they'll say, maybe I don't know that podcast. Maybe I don't know that comedian. They're gonna go, absolutely, I do. Let's make a day of it. And now we're all getting together. We're getting dressed up. We have a reason to put on a nice outfit and maybe a pair of jeans instead of soft pants.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We are getting a brunch reservation or dinner. We're sitting down, we're having drinks. I'm having mocktails where we're doing the whole thing. And then we're going to go see a show. And you know what? If we like the show, we're going to buy the merch, we're going to buy the disc, we're going to buy the stickers, we're going to buy the T shirt. The gal audience is the best audience. You know what boys don't do? When you have an audience full of boys, they don't call their boys and go, hey, do you want to go get brunch? Do you want to go see this whole thing?

[A]

We could buy a whole row real fast. Can I just hop in real fast. Just real fast. Real fast. Not all men. Not all men. Okay? You're talking. You're talking to the leader of the boys brunch.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, Emma, do I not have a group chat literally called boys brunch?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Do I not go take my boys out?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

At least once to twice a year. Especially if I find out one of them sad.

[B]

Yeah. Then we gotta go.

[A]

Okay. When I find out one of my boys is sad, I am right there. I said, you know what will fix this? Egg dishes and mimosas.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And guess what? You're right, Greg. You're right. She was crazy. You're gonna do better without her. That's what I do. Why? Because I learned from my wife.

[B]

Yeah. You're deeply in the gal situation here.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I think you're under the gal umbrella.

[A]

Oh, that's.

[B]

What do you got there? That's. Yeah, that's your concealer. I think you got one of your hairs in your concealer.

[A]

Oh, that is.

[B]

Yeah, that's. Yeah, yeah. That's not good. That's why it's your concealer. Nobody else's concealer.

[A]

What does that conceal? It just looks like paint.

[B]

Yeah, we paint that under your eyes so that it covers the dark circles from not sleeping from the scrolling.

[A]

Oh, they shouldn't Call that. They should call it anti Doom Scroll.

[B]

Yeah, that's the doom scroll.

[A]

Hear me elf.

[B]

Listen.

[A]

No, but listen real fast though. What you were saying, though, about the ladies going out and being supportive, that's the reason why in comedy clubs when you. Especially when you worked weekends at a club, you would. Every comedian knows the terrorist of the bachelorette party. I can't stress, but we've never had a terror of a bachelor party. Because a bachelor party. If a bachelor party is terrorizing your club, it's violent. No, no, it is. It is fucking. It is violent. Yeah, it is just guys going, that's it. That's it. For hours on end. That's.

[B]

A bachelor party is just like, we got beads with penises and we've had too much to drink.

[A]

No, but that's just like her.

[B]

That's just. Just like her. Yeah, that.

[A]

He's talking about you. That's in the comic on stage. Just like, shut up. Oh, my God.

[B]

So the fuck up.

[A]

Like, that is. That is how that typically is being done. Right? And so like, that makes. That makes a ton of sense.

[B]

So. Yeah, but what I was getting at, I think, is that so Matt Rife has this audience, an incredible audience of gals that he could make feel comfortable, safe and happy with with his silly Billy jokes and his dumb mid crowd work.

[A]

Yes. Okay. And.

[B]

And then he. He sees all these guys in Austin and he wants the Joe Rogan to be his daddy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he's like, well, Joe Rogan and them are not going to respect me unless men think I'm funny. I have to make the boys think I'm funny.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And so he's like, I know what I'll do. I'll open my Netflix special and I will burn every bridge with women I have by opening my set with a joke about domestic violence. And he did what? Yes, he. In his Netflix special, which again, all of these women who are following on TikTok are so excited. Like, I'm gonna support my favorite comedian. I'm gonna log into Netflix and I'm gonna sit down probably with my big yeti full of a nice drink and a big bowl of snacks. Or a great snack is a bowl of popcorn. And then you put like M&M's in it so that they kind of heat up in the butter of the popcorn. Anyway, so you're eating your good little snack. Cause you're gonna watch your favorite community.

[A]

I like to put Whoppers in there.

[B]

Yeah, you like to put. I can't eat those.

[A]

I Know you can't because of the.

[B]

Gluten, but I like. I like a peanut M and M in the hot popcorn, fresh out of the bag. Because then it gets, like, buttery and melty and crunchy at the same time.

[A]

Gotcha.

[B]

Anyway, this is how I am when I watch my Marc Maron specials because he's an actual comedian, yo.

[A]

Which is true. That. And that. That Taylor Swift Clothes of the Mark Marin special.

[B]

Swift Clothes went crazy.

[A]

It's so good. Anyway, okay, you're saying. So you're sitting down with the ladies. Sitting down, and they're all happy, called.

[B]

Their girlfriends, come over, get under cozy blankets. Get under our blankets on our big couch. We're all going to watch our Matt Rife show. And then he opens with this domestic violence joke.

[A]

Okay, got it.

[B]

And immediately the Internet, specifically on TikTok, that's where his biggest following was starts. People are live tiktoking from their couches. What the fuck? Matt Rife. Why would you do this? Why would you make a joke at the expense of. Of women who are statistically more likely to be victims of domestic violence than men, who are your core audience? And to me, it seemed like he just wanted to burn down the audience. He had to build a bridge to the Rogan verse. That's what it looked like from over here.

[A]

Got it. So Mr. Third just pulled up a transcript of the joke for me. I'm gonna read this.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

Okay. The hostess who, like, seats you at the restaurant had a black eye.

[B]

AUDIENCE laughs.

[A]

A full black eye. And it wasn't, like, what happened. It was pretty obvious what happened. And we couldn't get over the fact that we were like, this is the face of the company. Like, this is where you. This is where you have greeting people. And my boy, who I was with was like, yeah, I feel bad for her, man. I feel like they should put her in the kitchen or something when nobody has to see her face, you know? And I was like, yeah, but I feel like if she could cook, she wouldn't have that black eye.

[B]

AUDIENCE LAUGHS that's the joke. That's. That's the joke he opened with. And then he says, I'm just testing the water to see if y' all are going to be fun or not. Just wanted to see. Just wanted to see.

[A]

That's what he opens.

[B]

That was the opener of his Netflix.

[A]

That's just. But just. Just, you know, what. What he said. Okay, hold on. Pull in, Mr. P. Comedy Corner moment. Pull in real fast. What Matt Rice said was abhorrent and Terrible. But I have to also point out. Hack. It was a hack. That's a hack joke. It's not even. Honestly, you could call it a stolen joke, but it's not, because you can't ever tell who it was stolen from, because this is a famously misogynistic joke that's existed for a very long time. And that joke being. What do you call a woman with two black eyes? What do you. What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

[B]

Nothing. You've already said it to her twice.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

That's the joke.

[A]

That's literally the same joke. I know. Exactly. And that is the joke that he is basically taking word for word, and then he decides to open his special with, which is just insane, a huge.

[B]

Fuck you to his core audience, because then he becomes edgy, and now he can go to Austin, Texas.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right. So anyway, back to Elf Cosmetics.

[A]

Okay, so wait, so this is the. Okay, I forgot. What I forgot. We were talking about makeup.

[B]

About makeup.

[A]

We're talking about this company and the fact they chose a man who said those words to be to. Oh, for concealer. To hide the. The bruises underneath my eye.

[B]

Wow. See, that's what the comment section said. That's what the. I didn't say that. That's what the comment section said. I saw those.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

I mean, that could be implied easily. Right. Also, he said in his quote, I know something about red flags. Right? So, okay, here's the thing. I think Elf Cosmetics knew what they were doing when they made this. Right? They were getting rage bait. Yeah, they were. They were making a rage bait ad. Because Matt Rife is a controversial figure in this moment.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

Right. Especially in the realm of women, who are statistically the biggest users of makeup as an industry. Right? So this is my thing. This is my thing. They have not fully apologized or made this right. In my opinion. Okay. As a stakeholder, as a $50 shareholder, they need to make this right so it doesn't affect my pockets and the consumers that use their products. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

This is messed up. And so here's the thing. This all comes out. The Internet goes aflame when this Elf commercial comes out and people are writing in the comments, they're making TikToks like elf.

[A]

And it's just an Instagram post. Right?

[B]

An Instagram post.

[A]

Okay. It's just an Instagram post. Got it.

[B]

And the. Well, I mean, that's the thing is. I saw it on TikTok, too.

[A]

No, I mean, but it's a social Media post. I don't know if they make it as an actual.

[B]

I don't think people pay TV commercial prices anymore. I don't think like for. If you trying to hit a target of young audience.

[A]

No, I know, I mean that you would do it for a social media. But I'm saying it's like sometimes they do like.

[B]

I don't think media outside of social exists.

[A]

I don't. It's difficult to tell these days. But what I'm going to say though is like I feel like the Sydney Sweeney ad, for instance. Yeah, right. That was an in store ad where they were hanging the banners in the front of the store. It was not only being pushed on social media. Well, they replaced. Some of them were Travis Kelsey. They was not only being post on social media, they also had television ads. They also had magazine ads. Like it's the classic we're going all, you know, no stops, all gas, no brakes on every single platform possible.

[B]

Yeah. Versus I don't think they did that for this.

[A]

I know. That's what I was going to say is much like the Bud Light Dylan Mulvaney can. Because Matt, at the end of the day, stand up comedians are influencers. Yes, they are influencers. They are content creators. They like to pretend that they're not. They like to pretend that they're more. They're not. They're influencers and content creators. And so he was just given. The only difference is he didn't shoot it himself.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They were like, no, no, we'll provide a studio and a script. Yeah, okay. And that's the difference versus when Dylan Mulvaney made their Bud Light ad that was filmed on Dylan Mulvaney's camera phone.

[B]

Phone. Yeah.

[A]

In probably their house with the one can of beer.

[B]

Single can only can of beer that had her face on it.

[A]

Yes. That then apparently destroyed our. Yeah, but the like that's. And I want to bring that comparison because people I'm sure were claiming that like women were overreacting all these different things.

[B]

What. But who would say that a woman was overreacting?

[A]

But I didn't see anywhere trending of a woman putting a palette of elf cosmetics up and then shooting it, then shooting it with an AR15 like Kid Rock.

[B]

And I was pissed. But I have all this stuff. I'm not going to throw it away. I'm going to use it.

[A]

Apparently I'm using it.

[B]

Yeah, you've been using it.

[A]

One.

[B]

That's a blush.

[A]

So what do you do with that?

[B]

You put it on your cheeks to make it look like you're healthy?

[A]

I don't have much cheap. Oh, to make it look like I'm healthy.

[B]

Yeah, that's what blush does. It makes it look like you have healthy color in your cheeks. I'm not. That wasn't an attack on your skin right now.

[A]

Right now.

[B]

Okay. So anyway, the. There's a lot of. A lot of heat, a lot of pushback about this controversial ad, and Elf makes an Instagram post to. Let's. Let's say in quotes, apologize. Don't asmr the inside of that bottle.

[A]

I'm not.

[B]

Get that away from the mic. And in this statement, it's not an apology. It's a statement they release. It says, you know us, we're always listening, and we've heard you. This campaign aimed to humorously spotlight beauty and justice. We understand that we miss the mark with people we care about in the Elf community. While Elfino and Smarnas closes today, we will continue to make the case against overpriced beauty. Okay, do you hear an apology in there? Do you hear them saying, we're sorry, we're gonna fix it?

[A]

No, they're gonna think about miss the mark, which, just so you know, is actually, you know, you don't have the shortest way to say miss the mark.

[B]

What?

[A]

Sin? Oh, the term sin was action archery term.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

It was like, we think of sin and the idea of, like, this. This horrible thing or like, taboo or like ecclesiastical crime.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Sin actually was a term that was chosen by a medieval bishop in a speech because he was trying to explain that, like, you can. Yeah, you didn't. We did it terrible. But you missed the mark. Yeah, you sinned a little bit. And so when you shoot an archery target, you're aiming for the bullseye and you just miss it. They go, oh, yeah. When they're chalking it up, like the way, like when you play darts or something like that, like, instead of like, oh, did not finish or just missed, you just write sin. Oh, it's just a short term for miss. But anyway, they send.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Elf Cosmetics, you have sinned. You have sinned against your consumers and the shareholders of Elf Cosmetics. You have sinned against the power of the free market and Wall Street. Apologize for your sin. Apologize for making Matt Rife the face of your company. Give more money to the drag queen. Apologize to the drag queen for putting her next to Matt Rife. They should apologize, especially in this market. I can't tell you how many drag performers and trans and non binary content creators I know who are taking any contract they can. Because especially since the election.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They. They aren't getting any offers. Pride this year was dead for them. When it came into, like, Trixie and Katya talked about where, you know, the old hi, Gay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, every June would be when you would. That was like your Black Friday.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Whereas, like, yo, when Pride hits, we bought the money. Print money.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That pays my mortgage for the whole year.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I can't tell you how many people I know who were like, this year, we made zero dollars.

[B]

Yeah. Because everybody.

[A]

Everybody pulled back. Everybody pulled back. Everybody was terrified. All this different things. So, like, I don't blame. Was it Heidi and Closet. Heidi and Closet. I don't blame Heidi and Closet for being in this ad because. Get your money.

[B]

Get your bag.

[A]

Get your money.

[B]

No, you use makeup.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And also, I did not write anything negative about her because I love her.

[A]

But also, it's also, it's one of those things where, like, I didn't know. I. Again, you saw my rage come into it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When you're like, Matt Rife. I'm like, I hate that guy. Fucking crowd work comic bullshit. Oh, look at me. I'm handsome. I work out before I go on stage. Fuck that guy. And you're like. And he made a domestic violence. I was like, wait, what?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm over here hating him for just pure hate.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

For the love of the game, honestly. Is there a tinge of jealousy in there? Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. Always going to be that. Yeah, there's always going to be a little bit of that mixed in. But also, now I got reasons. I got reasons.

[B]

Did you put blush on it? Look really nice.

[A]

Here's the one side.

[B]

Yeah, it looks nice on this side. Yeah. Why don't we take a quick break? Maybe I'll put some blush on the other side so it's even.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And then when we come back, I will tell you how ELF tried to fix this situation.

[A]

Oh, okay. That'd be great.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Sure. You could meal Prep and have 15 Tupperware containers in the fridge. Or you could eat Factor meals. That's right. Factor's back with another sponsorship today. And Factor sends chef prepared meals straight to your door. And they've even expanded their menu now with more than 65 weekly meal options each day, you can have a totally different vibe. No batch cooking required. And we do have different vibes.

[B]

We have different vibes.

[A]

Yeah. And we have our. Two of our favorites. Cause we just got a new order of factories that came in. I have My penne Rosa and meatballs.

[B]

Sour cream and chive chicken.

[A]

Yeah. And we do love them. And the best thing about factor is that it helps us with one, saving on time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Two, saving on dishes in a very big way. And number three, it's also helping us to save, not have to spend a lot of money. A lot of time when you open the fridge and go, what am I going to eat?

[B]

Yeah, there it is.

[A]

It's right there.

[B]

A pre prepared meal that has vegetables and healthy things in it.

[A]

And here's what's great, is if Mrs. P wanted to, she could have this panet Rosa. Because all of their pasta is gluten free already.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So it's. And it's great and it's delicious. And honestly, without me telling you it's gluten free, you wouldn't know because it's that good. Mealtimes couldn't be easier. Just heat a factor meal up in the microwave or on a skillet for about two minutes or a little more and you're good to go. Eat smart@Factor Meals.com Too many 50 off and use code TOO MANY50OFF to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. That's code TOO MANY50OFF@Factor Meals.com for your first 50% off your first box plus FREE breakfast for one year. Get delicious ready to eat meals delivered with factor offer only valid for new factor customers with code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase. Thank you so much to that sponsor. If you guys don't want to hear ads like that, you can always join us on our Patreon at Pearlmania 500 net.

[B]

It's a pretty great place.

[A]

It's, it's a pretty.

[B]

Make a lot of extra content there.

[A]

We did you actually after your big face premiere here on the YouTube, you went and you did a live stream when you spoke to our listeners.

[B]

Yeah. And then I'm a real streamer now.

[A]

You did well just on our Patreon and just once.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But then also super good at it. Yeah, yeah. And also. And also just remind everybody you just did a story report.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's only on our audio. It's not on YouTube at all. It's only up wherever you listen to podcasts. So if you follow us on Patreon.

[B]

You loved this book.

[A]

I loved the shit out of the book.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's called Everybody lies.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it was about a trad wife influencer murder. Yeah. It was so good. And y', all, it was. I can't stress to you how good and how fun it was and how many, like, twists and turns there were in the story. And the best part about Story report is that you don't have to have read the book. It's better if you did.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But if you're. I don't read the books.

[B]

Never.

[A]

She reads them.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

She explains the entire plot to me, and I react. And we have time. Yeah. And it's a. It's a really good time. And it helps you, especially if you're on a long drive or you're just trying to kill days at work and that stuff. Find us on wherever you listen to podcasts or Spotify. Apple podcasts. You can also listen to it on our Patreon, where you. And again, on our Patreon promania500.net we have vibing with the food. Yeah.

[B]

I was like, which one are you gonna talk about?

[A]

And the after party where we.

[B]

We react to your comments and respond and react to your comments on our videos and Patreon.

[A]

Yes. Especially the ones you put here on YouTube. So follow all of us. All that different stuff. Five stars. Five stars. Five stars.

[B]

Hey, listen, here's the thing. Back to what we're talking about.

[A]

Okay. And thank you for getting the other side.

[B]

Yeah, it looks great.

[A]

I feel. I feel very. And you got me a mirror.

[B]

Yeah, it looks good.

[A]

It's a good mirror. I like it. No, I think I like this. You're. I see what you mean about the blush.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know about putting it on my forehead.

[B]

He's holding up a hand mirror that has Miss Piggy on it.

[A]

It has what?

[B]

Miss Piggy's on the back of the mirror. So it looks like.

[A]

Oh, my. It makes it look like I'm a pig.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, it does. So here's the thing. They. They made that statement they posted on Instagram, but they left the original video up on Instagram. It's actually still up on Instagram.

[A]

It's still.

[B]

I looked it up yesterday just to confirm it's still up there. It has a bunch of hate comments of being like, people saying, demanding, take this down. Like, you're clearly not sorry if you're not taking the video down.

[A]

Yeah. You pull it. If you're truly. If you're truly like, we're really, really, really sorry.

[B]

Yeah, we made a mistake.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You pull down the video, you know, would be a good move. Donate money to, like, a nonprofit that works with domestic violence survivors.

[A]

Yes. A shelter survivor.

[B]

Something like that. Like, you make it to the. To make an apology to make an amends. You must amend the situation. You. You. You actively state what you did wrong. You try to fix it. You don't do it again. And then you make some type of gesture to show that you're being apologetic. They have done none of this.

[A]

Can I tell you what's very funny? And that's not to bring everything back to us and specifically me.

[B]

Oh, all right.

[A]

Is. It's. It. I find it very interesting that ELF Cosmetics is dumber than a grocery store.

[B]

Oh, what do you want?

[A]

Should I tell. I. I'm gonna not use names.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm gonna not use names.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You guys remember I did that Annie video on Tik Tok? It went super viral. Bethany Frankel used the voice.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Bethany.

[B]

When.

[A]

Bethany Frankel.

[B]

You know, Bethany Frankel is.

[A]

You've. I showed. I said, I don't know. This famous lady used it. She's got a check mark. And he went, oh, my God. That was the moment.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

But a grocery store reached out, and they were like, very funny video. Would you want to make. Would you want to make a collab? And we said, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Sure. And we immediately got them under contract, and Mrs. P. And I went to a grocery store and I shot a video, sent it to them. They loved it. They're like, we're gonna set up and roll out on this moment.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I said, yes, yes, yes, yes. This is amazing.

[B]

It's gonna be.

[A]

So we got everything there, and then the day before we're gonna post it, they're like, hey, our bad. We decided to change our mind. We've changed our mind. We change our mind. We don't want to do this. No, no, no, no. But don't worry. You keep the money. We're like, what? What just happened? And then speaking to management team, and they're like, uh, I think they googled you, but I think they googled you.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

And. But that's. That's the thing is like, how does it. How did a fucking grocery store chain Google something? And then look at their market analytics of the literal market.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And go, well.

[B]

Well, you know, it's interesting you bring up a point is that as I was reading this, and I was like, I can't believe it's still up. I can't believe they have done nothing to amend the situation or go create a true apology.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Who is in charge of marketing? Right. Who is the marketing person? So then I looked it up and found her in founder. I found her on the Internet on August 14th. Interview okay. In an August 14th interview with the Business of Beauty, ELF's Beauty Global Chief of Marketing officer Corey Marchisode addressed the brand's decision to feature Rife in the campaign. Marchesode said that Elf selected rife because his TikTok audience is largely female and under the age of 34, the brand's quote, sweet spot. So they did look him up, but.

[A]

They only looked at.

[B]

They did look him up.

[A]

No, I know exactly what they asked for.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They asked specifically for audience demographics. They did not look at any sub. Like, you'd had to have scrolled to page three.

[B]

I don't think so. Because when I Google Matt Rife controversy, it came up front page.

[A]

No, I know, but I'm saying they weren't thinking about going Matt Rife controversy. They didn't go that direction with it. That an ad executive is sitting around going, we need a guy. We need a handsome guy who women like. And someone was like, I don't know. My sister likes this idiot.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, get me his. Reach out to his people, find out what his analytics are. They pulled up his analytics. They go. We do a collab with him.

[B]

That's women, ladies.

[A]

That's all of our ladies.

[B]

That's a lot.

[A]

But they don't. They didn't know.

[B]

They don't know that a lot of ladies left.

[A]

But, like. Like eight, nine months prior to this. Right. Because when. I don't know when exactly when his special dropped.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I feel like his special dropped late last year. And so, like, we're still in that range of, like, it has happened, but it hasn't, like, sunk into the general.

[B]

Yeah, the gals don't forget stuff, though.

[A]

No, no, I'm saying the gals don't forget something. But I'm saying it's like. It's not the same way. I'm trying to think of, like, when a big thing happens. Right. And everybody knows.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is. I don't want to say that women are a niche, but when it comes to marketers.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They think of women as a niche.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

The same way doctors think of women as men with hormones.

[B]

That's. That's right. That's definitely what.

[A]

That's.

[B]

That's.

[A]

That's how.

[B]

That's why you don't need medical signs to look at what you're going through.

[A]

In my palm or on the back of my palm.

[B]

I would. That's for. In your palm and then on your face.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'd put that on your forehead if I were you. Alex is currently rubbing ELF serum On his forehead. Dewy and brightening serum. It's a Serum helps your skin. This is a niacinamide serum. It's basically. It's called a dupe. Like I said, it's a knockoff of the Glow recipe. Watermelon Glow. It works very good. I. I recommend Watermelon Glow. Yeah, it's. It makes your skin shiny and makes your pores look smaller.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do I look shiny?

[B]

You do look shiny. You look healthy. And with the. With the blush you're looking.

[A]

Do my pores look shiny? Do my pores look smaller, Mr. They look great. Okay.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

That's what we pay you for.

[B]

So Marches Otto, I can't say her last name. Said that the backlash was a surprise to the brand quote.

[A]

It shouldn't have been.

[B]

Obviously, we were very surprised. I don't know why. That's. Obviously, there is a big gap between our intention and how this missed the mark. For some people, we always aim to deliver positivity, and this one didn't. So we find ourselves in a position where, quite honestly, that doesn't feel good for us. For this mark, for some people is a crazy line.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That is so, like, I'm sorry you were offended by this energy.

[A]

Yeah, it's. What's the. What's the. The DV statistic. It's like 30 of women.

[B]

I don't have the statistic.

[A]

No, no. But I'm saying, though, it's like. But that's what she means by some people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is like. It's some like, like, it's that plus the people who know, they have to know about who he is and what he's done and what he's said specifically, and all those different things. One in three. Yeah. 35.6%, according to the national center for Injury Prevention and Control.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

So here's the thing then. I. I'm like, who is this woman who is maybe potentially bad at marketing? Because, like, why would you say this? Why would this be a statement you put out after this controversy? Corey has been in the beauty industry for, like, 20 years. She spent 18 of those years at Shiseido, which is a very popular makeup cosmetic brand, before going to Elf Beauty in 2019. The marketing prowess of Corey brought about a billion dollars in net sales in 2019 or 2020, which is actually probably just because everybody was inside. But okay. And you probably have. I don't know if you remember this. She was the person who came up with these concepts of their big super bowl ads. So before Corey, I believe Elf didn't really do big ad campaigns like we said, like, people don't do commercials for younger audiences.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

But I think she had the wherewithal to say, like, there is one day where all eyes in the living room are on the tv.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Right. And so she made these super bowl ads. The first one, I think they did had Judge Judy, and it was called Judge Beauty.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And Judge Judy was there, and they had all these famous stars in the courtroom.

[A]

I can kind of already see it. But you know what? That's funny. Okay. I get it now. Yeah, she does. She. She hit pay dirt.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

With Judge Beauty.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right. So they did basically the same ad with Matt Rife with Alfino and whatever they call it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right. I wonder if the Judge Judy is the Judge Judy Judge Beauty ad. Probably the same.

[B]

Yeah. And it's great.

[A]

But saying, though, is it. Is it the same sort of ad, though?

[B]

It's very similar. Yeah.

[A]

Exactly. The way it's shot and all those things.

[B]

And then they also. I don't remember. I mean, I think you might remember this one because it was in 2023, the Eagles played the Chiefs.

[A]

We don't talk about that.

[B]

Okay. But during that, there was an ad for Elf Beauty, which had Jennifer Coolidge. Remember? And it was like, really? It was so funny.

[A]

I want you to know something.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't remember much from that night.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Because you were with me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We were at my buddy's house.

[B]

Designated driver.

[A]

I had a designated driver. The only thing I remember from that. I can't tell you what I remember from that. From that game in 2023. I remember them cutting to the crowd at one point because it was Fox as a Fox broadcast.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They cut to the crowd and they showed Rupert Murdoch sitting with Elon Musk.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the guy's like, yeah. You know, I must probably discuss about how he recently bought Twitter. And I went, that can't be good foreshadowing.

[B]

No, that.

[A]

That can't be good foreshadowing that.

[B]

I don't like that.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

So, okay.

[A]

So I don't remember anything else.

[B]

In that super bowl, there was a Jennifer Coolidge ad which was actually directed. The ad itself was directed by Mike White from White Lotus. Oh, Mike White come in and direct this ad. Because she had just been on White.

[A]

Lotus and this was when she was. You know, I remember there being a moment.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where Jennifer Coolidge was. Was fucking everywhere. It was an incredible moment because of White Lotus.

[B]

Give her more time.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

On the air. On all my Screens. I love her. She. So she does this ad. It went viral. So it was so funny. She's so cute and lovable.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And then they made like a. They made fun of it on SNL that week. It was like Ariana Grande.

[A]

I remember that. I remember we watched that one. Wait, isn't that also similar to when they did the Kamala Harris thing?

[B]

I think so. Yeah.

[A]

That was like. That was then the second playoff play up on it is Kamala Harris was sitting because it was Maya Rudolph playing Kamala Harris talking to reflection of it.

[B]

Yeah, it was very funny.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So they had these big campaigns that worked. Also. Here's the thing. She created a campaign called so many Dicks. I swear to God. That's what it's.

[A]

This is what? Cory Marchi, Chishiso Toto.

[B]

Yeah, it's Marchisoto. I think Marchesoto. So Corey created this campaign called so Many Dicks.

[A]

How many Dicks?

[B]

So Many Dicks.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's. It was.

[A]

You know, we're in restricted mode now. That's great.

[B]

We've been there.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Hit the hype button, guys. We gotta get out of that hype. We gotta get out of this.

[A]

If you're watching YouTube, it's over. It's. It's over. This spot by. Over here.

[B]

It's by the dragon.

[A]

King Ghidorah. Hold on, King. It's not a dragon. His name.

[B]

That's a dragon with three heads.

[A]

His name is King Ghidorah.

[B]

No arms. Just heads.

[A]

He doesn't need arms. He has two other heads to use his hands.

[B]

So many dicks. So the idea is it's a Wall street takeover campaign to shed light on the lack of women and diverse cat in a company boards across industries.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It was a partnership with the national association of Corporate Directors and ELF created a board accelerator program that trained and created visibility for 20 board ready candidates. It was an incredibly cool marketing campaign. That sounds.

[A]

Woke.

[B]

That emphasize. Guess what? It emphasized diversity, equity and inclusion at the highest levels.

[A]

Woke.

[B]

Yeah. Wow. And with. Okay. What are you doing there?

[A]

I don't know what this one does.

[B]

Okay. Alex is currently.

[A]

Let me just guess.

[B]

Okay, guess. You know what? You guess.

[A]

I'm gonna just.

[B]

You're gonna put that. Oh, wow. Right down his nose. He's smearing it down the front of his nose.

[A]

Okay. And then we blend.

[B]

Yeah, you're gonna blend that with your fingers. Okay.

[A]

I don't have a thing.

[B]

What are they called? The thing that I use?

[A]

The little puff ball. Yeah. One that you have one that is Oscar the Grouch. The baby loves.

[B]

Yeah, I do have the Grouch one.

[A]

The baby loves it.

[B]

It's funny that you're holding a Miss Piggy mirror talking about my Oscar the Grouch beauty.

[A]

Well, you know what I mean. We're a Henson household.

[B]

Yeah, that's true.

[A]

I can't see anything right now, so.

[B]

Okay, the. The thing about this marketing campaign is when I went and looked at their online pages about it, if anything, I.

[A]

Just highlighted my zit.

[B]

Fun fact. That was a highlighter. That's what it's called. You put a highlighter on your zit, which will now highlight your zit because Elf makes. It's called Halo Glow Liquid Filter Radiance Booster. It's a highlighter for your skin.

[A]

I just highlight.

[B]

So you highlighted your.

[A]

I highlighted my adult elder millennial acne.

[B]

Yeah. The stress.

[A]

Where's the concealer? Which one was the concealer?

[B]

The concealer was that one with the black.

[A]

This one right there's. Right here.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

My girl.

[B]

Your best friend.

[A]

We're best friends. We're gonna hide all of the imperfections so it's her.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Hello, middle school. Getting rid of all of the problems that we left behind.

[B]

You're gonna put toilet paper in your bra for sure.

[A]

You know what? If ever there was a time. Can I tell you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If ever there was a time for someone to finally make, like, one of those crazy TikTok edits of me, this is the episode everyone else I know gets. Tick tock edits.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Not me, though.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, no, no. Oh, no. We look to hear your entire thoughts and rants. TikTok edit me.

[B]

So in this very cool marketing campaign that highlighted dei, I pulled some of the stats, and it turns out that there are more men named Dick, I. E. Richard, Rich, or Rick on US Public corporate boards than entire groups of underrepresented people. There are two times more men named Dick than Hispanic women. Black and Asian women barely outnumber the men named Dick. And there are 19 times more men named Dick than women of Middle Eastern descent. And only three Native American women serve on boards.

[A]

That's incredibly interesting. That.

[B]

That is like, a really interesting social study they did. Yeah, they were like, there's too many dicks on these boards. Or so many dicks.

[A]

I got it, everyone.

[B]

You made a mess.

[A]

I made a mess.

[B]

You made a mess.

[A]

I got it.

[B]

Show the camera. You made a mess.

[A]

I made a boo Boo, man, not all dicks.

[B]

Do you want to use my fake labubu, the lefufu to Fix your lab.

[A]

I don't know, I'm just, I'm just gonna rub it into my hands.

[B]

Smart.

[A]

Wait, no, but this is, this is actually so. So this is a person.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This marketing executive.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Is a person who has been highlighting. Highlighting discrimination against women.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And against people of color and especially against marginalized groups.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She's been doing all these different things in very intricate ways where you can really get that feeling of. It's not. It's almost like greenwashing, it's like pink washing, greenwashing, all these different things where. But it is also a way to boost sales because it makes the, the consumer feel like they're actually being seen by this brand.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

And all these different things. So for them to miss the mark and sin like this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

By getting a guy who opened his biggest special ever with a DV joke.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is really like. It's beyond the pale.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It'd be different if. It'd be different if like Union Carbide.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Got into makeup and started and we're like, yeah, we're gonna bring in this Matt Rife guy. I don't know. We googled guy with highest. We Googled guy under 40 with highest women audience.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he came up like. So for her to say that in.

[B]

That way, that's the thing is because for years ELF has been promoting the fact that they're inclusive. Mostly they started with the price range. So I don't know if you want to know this, but these are what's considered budget beauties. These are very low cost. These are from the drugstore, from cvs, Walmart, et cetera, et cetera.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

They're. They're low cost beauty items. So they're really accessible to people that maybe don't have a lot of money to spend on very expensive.

[A]

Like, like our boy Stevie. Stevie Madden.

[B]

Yes, like Stevie Madden.

[A]

I know all about Steve Madden.

[B]

Stevie Madden. Marboy.

[A]

Let me tell you, you played me that TikTok clips from. Yeah. That lady. Because she owned us Patreon.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

But what was.

[B]

I think it's like called on the Cutting room floor.

[A]

Yeah, something like that. But she did this interview with Steve Madden. Because I didn't know any of this until you started showing me the Tick Tocks.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was immediately like, I love him.

[B]

Yeah, he's great.

[A]

I only think I knew about Steve Madden is. I think he's mentioned in Wolf of Wall street at one point.

[B]

I guess.

[A]

So, like there's a whole part of like Wolf of Wal. I think that Was Steve, man. But anyway, he makes. What are they called? Lakes?

[B]

Dupes.

[A]

Dupes. But there's. He uses a different term.

[B]

Yeah. I don't. Inspired by.

[A]

Yeah, he's like make likes or whatever. But he's like, yeah, here's, you know. Oh, you.

[B]

Louis. Louis Vuitton shoe. Here's a. It's also close enough.

[A]

Yeah. I figured out what they did with the shoe, and I just made that. And here's the same one. And so it's. So you get that chance of. You can have the look you're looking for.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Without having to pay the price.

[B]

And that's exactly what elf beauty does. So, like that pink bottle that you highlighted your pimple with.

[A]

Great.

[B]

There is.

[A]

Good job. Elf.

[B]

No, that was your. That was user error. That wasn't Else.

[A]

No, that's elf error.

[B]

No, User. You should have put it where you wanted to.

[A]

There should be. No, they should have a big sticker on this. It says, do not put on pimples.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

If ladders come with 11 fucking warning labels on them. Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If a ladder has 11 warning labels, then why doesn't highlighters say, keep it away from your pimple.

[B]

Keep it away.

[A]

It's gonna make it look bright red.

[B]

That there's a different brand called Charlotte Tilbury, and she made. She invented something like this.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And hers cost like. Like $40 for a bottle.

[A]

What's our thoughts on Charlotte Tilbury? Whatever is she woke.

[B]

I. I don't think she is. I don't think she is. She has a lipstick I think she named after J.K. rowling. Oh, I'm pretty sure she does.

[A]

No, I'm pretty sure she does.

[B]

I might need to be. Fact.

[A]

I only want. I. Oh, yeah, yeah. You check that one.

[B]

Somebody fact check me real fast.

[A]

We'll hit one of this.

[B]

Allegedly.

[A]

We hit one. We hit an allegedly.

[B]

I feel like that happened. What's her name again? Charlotte Tilbury.

[A]

Good luck spelling that one.

[B]

Tilbury. And I feel like she did have a JK Rowling lipstick.

[A]

I called like, it says JK Magic. It just. I just saw it pop up.

[B]

Yeah. JK Magic. Yeah. I was right. Yes.

[A]

Okay. Okay. To be. Oh, they're still selling it.

[B]

They're still selling it.

[A]

Okay. To be fair. To be fair, it did say that it rolled out in 2019.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which I think is. Is right around the time, like right before it got real bad, before the.

[B]

Mold really affected, before the mold leached.

[A]

In and grabbed on. Oh, JK Magic is. Is one of the colors.

[B]

Yes. So she did this lady, Charlotte Tilbury, she did a bunch of lipsticks that were made after her favorite people. So she had like supermodels.

[A]

That's bad.

[B]

Yeah, she like. That's bad actresses.

[A]

My favorite people.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, she had like. Oh, let me think of a favor. So she's had like Julia Roberts favorite lipstick. So then it was called Julia or something like that.

[A]

Like they're right in front of you. Right there in front. Oh, there we go.

[B]

Glowing. Jen. I think that's for Jennifer Aniston in love with Olivia. That's Olivia Munn. I don't know. Amazing. Amal. That's Amal Clooney's lip.

[A]

Are you sure it's not Olivia Wilde?

[B]

Maybe it could be Olivia Wilde. I don't know. A mall. That's a mall Clooney. A Red Hot Susan. That's Susan Sarandon.

[A]

Viva la Vergara.

[B]

That's Vegaria. From the.

[A]

From. Yes. Modern Family.

[B]

Modern Family. Patsy. That's Patsy from the. The two British ladies that are always drunk from the 80s.

[A]

Absolutely fabulous. Okay, got it. And then a dance floor princess.

[B]

I don't know who that one is. Somebody tell me in the comments.

[A]

Yeah, tell us who. Anyway, get in the comments and tell us who. Oh, and like. And subscribe and.

[B]

Hit that hype.

[A]

Hit that hype.

[B]

So she makes this bottle. She invented this, this type of stuff.

[A]

Okay. And then ELF snuck in behind them. Yeah, they like little goblins and they. And they go, oh, I'm gonna make.

[B]

My own little thing for 10 or 15 bucks instead of 40 bucks.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Just like Steve Madden.

[A]

But now it's probably 20 bucks.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because of inflation.

[B]

So. And here's the thing. Okay, let's get back to. We're talking about. They have been promoting the fact that they are a DEI style brand. A brand that cares about diversity, equity and inclusion of all the people that use their products. What do you got there? That's mascara. Don't put that on yourself. Okay, but I want to talk to you about how ELF got started. I want to talk to you about the beginning of elf.

[A]

Okay, we're gonna go back to the beginning. All right. We're gonna take a break and we come back. We're gonna learn about elf origins.

[B]

Yeah, we're going to 2002, baby.

[A]

Okay, time for our weekly stand up comedy wrap up.

[B]

Alex. I didn't get to any stage shows, but I did switch to T Mobile with their new family freedom offer.

[A]

Okay, I'm waiting for the.

[B]

Well, my old phone bill with AT&T was a Joke. So I'm doing a whole new bit with T Mobile. They paid off my family's four phones up to $3200 and gave us four new phones on the house.

[A]

I gotta work this into my routine. Introducing Family Freedom, our lowest cost. To switch our biggest family savings all on America's largest 5G network. Visit your local T Mobile location or learn more@t mobile.com familyfreedom. Up to $800 per line via virtual prepaid card. Typically takes 15 days. Free phones via 24 monthly bill credits with finance agreement, eg, Apple iPhone 16128 gigabyte $8229.99 eligible trade in eg iPhone 11 Pro for well qualified credits. End and balance due if you pay off early or cancel contact T Mobile. Ugh. That is strong. That is strong.

[B]

Do you like it?

[A]

I just smelled my finger. Ah, that's too much.

[B]

Too much. I like that one a lot.

[A]

It's very melony.

[B]

Yeah, it's a honeydew melon scent. Honey smells just like the Bath and Body Works cucumber melon from the 90s. It smells just like high school to me. Do you remember those bottles?

[A]

No. You know what it smells like to me? Okay. There was a type of gum, a really cheap bubble gum that we would have in like, I want to say like fifth grade.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's like, like. Not Bazooka Joe. It was the one with the zebra stripes.

[B]

Yeah. Fruit stripe.

[A]

Fruit stripes. It smells like fruit stripes.

[B]

It tasted so good for exactly one minute.

[A]

Oh, it would go dead.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It lost its flavor immediately, but it.

[B]

Was worth it for those 60 seconds.

[A]

And then you were just. It just felt like you were annoying.

[B]

You gotta swallow it at that point.

[A]

Okay. All right, so now this is so strong. This is incredibly strong. I'm gonna power through this.

[B]

It will fade. I promise you it will fade.

[A]

Okay. Like our love.

[B]

Yeah, like our love.

[A]

How am I looking so far?

[B]

You look great. Hold it up more. A little bit more.

[A]

Okay, there you go.

[B]

Right? Just one more.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

No. There you go. No, now you look like Miss Piggy again.

[A]

All right, stop doing that to me.

[B]

Okay. So one day at a 99 cent beauty store in Los Angeles and La La Scott Vincent Borba, a beauty industry veteran who had previously launched Hard Candy Cosmetics, noticed something interesting. Expensive cars parked out outside discount beauty retailers. Okay. He said, quote, I saw all these women with Louis Vuitton purses and they were buying truckloads of lip balms and nail polishes from this dollar store. And Borba explained in the CNN interview, I found that this moment revealed a gap in the market. Luxury consumers wanted affordable cosmetics without sacrificing quality. So Borba had a chance meeting with this guy, Joseph Sharma at a party in 2002. Shama, who was then a 23 year old NYU business student, connected with Borba's vision. I can only imagine this party, these two networking with each other.

[A]

So this man, who's a long time industry guy, is meeting a 23 year old business major business at an LA party.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

No, they, I think he would. They were in New York when they were at this New York party.

[A]

Okay, sure.

[B]

And he meets this 23 year old.

[A]

Were they showing off straws at the party?

[B]

Probably. And they're, they're talking about Borba's idea. Now I need to. You don't know this, but Hard Candy Cosmetics, which he was part of launching, was incredibly popular in the, the 90s.

[A]

The second you say Hard candy, I think Hard Candy Christmas by Martin, who.

[B]

You'Re wearing a shirt of, by the way.

[A]

I am, I am wearing my dolly shirt today.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because you told me today's episode was for the girls. And I said I have one shirt for the girls. Oh. And it matches our background really well. Anyway, the. Yeah. I'd never even heard. Is Hard candy still a thing?

[B]

It is, it's, it's sold. It's really what they say has fallen off and so it's like sold at Walmart or whatever.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

When I was grow, when I was growing up, there was only one place you could buy hard candy. And it was at this place, I think it was called Guacamole on South Street.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And it was like, it was, these nail polishes came with a ring on the nail polish that matched the color. It was a little teenage girl's dream. I'm saying it was like a pink glitter nail polish that came with a pink.

[A]

Yeah, I see he's pulling it up. Right, right now this, this is very. Okay. Very 90s.

[B]

Yeah. It. Hard Candy was everything.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. So the 90s party girl.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Batini party, teeny party girl. Got it.

[B]

So the fact that he launched Hard Candy means that he knew what the heck he was talking about when it comes to makeup.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Hold on, let me help you.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I'm opening an Elf Cosmetics blush for you. This is a very powerful blush, so be gentle with that one. Okay. What I do, I mean, you are wearing liquid blush. So then this would be a powder on top of it. To make the color brighter. Now this is a dupe of Nars Orgasm.

[A]

What do you think? What do you think? On the forehead?

[B]

No, I would. I would say cheekies for sure. Cheekies. There you go. Real light. Cuz it's gonna be. There you go. See how bright it is now? Yeah. That's a dupe for Nars Orgasm, which is nars's most popular blush. So it's like a. I just want to say all of that has a gold shimmer in it.

[A]

I just wanted to say real fast. Yeah, to me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because you keep telling the names of these things.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The beauty industry as a whole. Demonic.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You just said it's called Nars Orgasm.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is named after J.K. rowling. Okay. You've yet to say something that's been named after anything that is brought light and love into the world. I mean, orgasm. Yeah, sure, sure.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

That. I guess that is the. That is actually the equivalent of light and love. Orgasm.

[B]

Petite death. Right. So he meets this guy, this NYU student and they're talking about his idea to like create this low cost beauty brand. And Joseph, the student is like, absolutely. And Joseph reaches out to his father. This. This is so it. And his father invests a lot of money in the project. I see you, Borba. I see.

[A]

You gotta get it.

[B]

I see you, Borba.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. No, no. He had a. I love how they made this big deal. He had a business degree. It's like. Yeah. But his dad was rich.

[B]

His dad was rich.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, dad, I met this guy at a party.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He has a great idea. I think we should invest.

[A]

Yeah. That is. That is. Again, we've talked about this before.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The reason why you go to an elite school is to do elite networking.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's the reason you go and again, learn anything.

[B]

How to shake hands. Let's shake hands. Networking. We did it. Oh, man, you got a lot of stuff.

[A]

My hands are. My hands feel so weird right now. I have. What does this do?

[B]

That is. That's a spray that you spray when you're done all your makeup and it locks it in place.

[A]

I'm not done. Okay. So the dad invests a bunch of.

[B]

Money to bore me. And so they launched this brand called elf, which actually stands for Eyes, Lip face. Oh, yeah, that's what it means. Eyes, lip face.

[A]

That's so cool. I actually like that.

[B]

Yeah. Elf means Eyes, lip face.

[A]

And that's what I've been doing.

[B]

Yeah. Your eyes, lips and your face do not do mascara.

[A]

I gotta do eyes I've done lips and face.

[B]

If you take off your glasses, you're not gonna be able to see yourself. Putting a mascara on. This is incredibly dangerous.

[A]

I can see this close. If I'm this close, I can see. I've never done mascara.

[B]

Well, and you've really. When I've put it on you for drown.

[A]

That's different. No, that's different.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You put it on me. You do it like a terror. Okay. Whenever you put. Whenever you put mascara on me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You always, like, hold me. Like, stop moving.

[B]

Stop blinking dog a pill.

[A]

No, you hold my eyes open like it's clockwork.

[B]

Yeah. Like I'm feeding a cat a medicine.

[A]

Yeah. You never rub my throat and tell me I'm a good boy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, well, do I keep eyes open?

[B]

I do. I like to keep my eyes open. And look up.

[A]

When you were a child, how did you do it? Eyes closed.

[B]

No, eyes open. You need to see what you're doing.

[A]

Look up.

[B]

Yeah, look up.

[A]

Am I doing bottom lash or top lash?

[B]

No, only top. You're not. You're not there for bottom lash yet.

[A]

I'm doing eyes closed. Closed.

[B]

Okay, go ahead.

[A]

Okay, go ahead. Keep talking.

[B]

I'll keep talking. So they launch E L F cosmetics in June of 2004. And the ELF cosmetics has, like, this mission statement, right? It's their simple idea, quote, women shouldn't have to skip lunch or not go out to dinner or have other cutbacks to afford makeup. And as soon as I saw this quote, I was like, who wrote this? Carrie Bradshaw. I hate it. I hate that quote so much. Pretty good. It's. Yep. Okay, I'm gonna keep going and not look at you. So let's talk more about Scott Vincent Borba, who was born in 1973. He grew up struggling with cystic acne and rosacea in his youth. And following his college graduation, he moved to LA and became a licensed esthetician. Do you know what esthetician is?

[A]

That's. That's like makeup. Clean, not makeup. No, that's. That's face stuff.

[B]

Facials.

[A]

It's just short of a dermatologist.

[B]

Yeah. Yes. Okay, exactly. So you go. When you go get a facial.

[A]

Toss me that tissue box. I have feelings and emotions right now.

[B]

You, for the audio listeners. He has smudged, he has smeared. He looks like he's crying at a wedding.

[A]

I'm just saying. Taylor. No. She finally found love. She gets to be small bean. Taylor and Travis. She's small bean. And it's what we've always wanted.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, you look like you're making a crying apology on YouTube.

[A]

I just want to say so many things. First thing, where's my ukulele?

[B]

No. So he becomes a licensed esthetician and he works for Hard Candy Cosmetics, Procter and Gamble, Wella, Sebastian Shiseido, Johnson and Johnson and Neutrogena. So he's worked with a lot of the big brands. I know you don't know any of the words I just said, but for people that do know. No, you said Johnson, Johnson, Johnson and Johnson.

[A]

I worked with Johnson and Johnson.

[B]

When did you work with John? When I was a security guard at Johnson Johnson.

[A]

I was a security guard at a chemical factory.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I worked third shift.

[B]

Did they make these chemicals at the factory?

[A]

No, I think they made stuff I had to do with arthritis. But then they lost a patent and they fired everybody.

[B]

Oh, bummer.

[A]

And then I went to work at a dry cleaner.

[B]

So ELF launches, like I said, in 2004 with 13 makeup products to start. And each product cost exactly $1. $1, $1.

[A]

What year was this?

[B]

2004. 2004. And this wasn't just competitive pricing. This was a direct challenge to the industry at this point because again, their makeup products weren't as expensive as they are now.

[A]

Yes, because they discovered. They discovered they could make money.

[B]

Yeah, but they were still pricier than a friggin dollar.

[A]

But, but they also, even back then, before they really came in with the analysis and everything else, there was a time.

[B]

Here's what I'll tell you real quick. If you take the tissue, spray it with this, that will help you rub off the eye stuff.

[A]

What if I want to leave it on?

[B]

Okay, never mind then.

[A]

What if I want to leave it on?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

One of the things, though, for a very long time, it was the idea that makeup especially was for your wife to. To use her little pocket money for. And so you don't want to price it too high because then the girls won't have their little pocket money for it. And that was one of the things, especially going in like, it was really like the 90s. I remember them starting to really talk as TV shows were starting to get aimed at women. And then guys in boardrooms would accidentally stop on that channel just long enough to come up with one of these ideas.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so this what they're talking about, though, the $1. The challenge.

[B]

The challenge.

[A]

This is exactly what Uber and Lyft did. And actually what Elon is doing with, with his robo taxis in Austin, Texas right now.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Whenever they Roll out. They use a shit ton of seed money, which is basically works as free as. As advertising for them.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Where they'll undercut their competition by huge amounts, giant amounts. And so in the case of, like, Waymo and the Robo Taxi and a bunch of others, you can get them for like a $5 ride.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

While Uber and Lyft are charging, like, maybe $20 at that same time because they want you to go, oh, well, this. It's five bucks. I'll try it.

[B]

At least.

[A]

I'll at least try it.

[B]

I'll try it.

[A]

And the same thing with Elf cosmetics when they first rolled out. It's a dollar. So you can make your face look like this.

[B]

Oh, yeah. That's what people want to look like.

[A]

And like, yeah. So, like, I would dump a dollar. It's a dollar.

[B]

It's a dollar.

[A]

It's a dollar.

[B]

And I mean, they were. They're good. They're good enough.

[A]

They're decent enough for a dollar. I'll buy that for a dollar.

[B]

They're not a dollar anymore. None of this was a dollar.

[A]

None of this was a dollar.

[B]

They range in price.

[A]

Should have been.

[B]

Okay, that was not.

[A]

That should have been.

[B]

I'm wearing that mascara as well, and I don't look like that. That was a user issue, part two. Okay? Now they're not a dollar anymore.

[A]

The warning Label and actually QR code to tell you how to use it.

[B]

May 23, ELF posted on their Instagram another post. And so I want to read it to you. It says, dear Elfies, let's talk flying money emoji. We know things are tight right now, and the fact that you keep choosing us major feels cute emoji. Not gonna lie. Inflation tariffs are hitting us hard. Upward graph, grumpy emoji. And look. See, the makeup is scared looking.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. And so this is how they announced that they were going to be raising the price of all Elf cosmetics by a dollar. They're like, okay, just so you guys understand, we are making an announcement that all elf cosmetics are going to go up by $1 across the board. $10. This is $11.

[A]

Right, got it, got it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And you're using that as an example.

[B]

And they announced. They said this will start on August 1st. Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Again, so they. They posted this on May 23rd, and they said on August 1st, everything is going to go up by a dollar. Just so you know, we love you so much.

[A]

And then, like two weeks later, they're like, hey, the new face of our company is this guy who jokes about beating women.

[B]

So actually not even a full week later on May 28, the. The big news that got reported is that ELF signed a huge deal and acquired Road Beauty. Do you know what Road Beauty is?

[A]

No.

[B]

Road Beauty is the makeup line that was created by just Justin Bieber's wife, Hailey Bieber.

[A]

Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, this is the lip gloss.

[B]

The lip gloss. I remember the phone case.

[A]

I remember a little bit.

[B]

Like a vagina. Just a little bit. I'm looking at it. I'm saying that looks like a vagina holding a lip gloss.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Okay, but here's prehensile. Yep. So here's the thing.

[A]

You know dolphins do that, right?

[B]

I don't know that. And I don't need to know.

[A]

They grab shiny rocks and they hold.

[B]

It in their bits.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Attract other dolphins.

[B]

Oh, it's like they have a piercing.

[A]

They're like, yeah, but they can grip it.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

That's what I think.

[B]

There's the. There's.

[A]

Yeah, it looks like a dolphin vagina.

[B]

Okay, so here's.

[A]

We're completely in restricted mode.

[B]

We've been.

[A]

There's no way. We're not in restricted mode.

[B]

So they make this. They announced this deal on May 28th, saying that we, ELF, have acquired Road Beauty. And guess what? They paid $1 billion for Road Beauty.

[A]

$1 billion.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But also. Wait, okay, so they did. They did the. Oh, my God. It's the meme. Do you ever see the meme where they're like, your company is like, we've never been more profitable. We're cutting your hours. Yeah, like, that's 100. What they just did to everyone.

[B]

Yeah, no, but exactly. They're like, guys, guys, the tariffs are so hard. Sad emotions. Guys, look at this sad little lip gloss with googly eyes. We're so sad. We just. It's the tariffs. We have to add a dollar. The money is just hard right now. It's like hard for us with money right now. But we love you guys so much. And then they're like, but we do have exactly $1 billion to buy Hailey Bieber's cosmetic brand.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Outright.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

So again, this is another flashpoint for elf Beauty of people being like, what the hell is wrong with you guys?

[A]

Okay, time for our weekly stand up comedy wrap up.

[B]

Alex. I didn't get to any stage shows, but I did switch to T Mobile with their new family freedom offer.

[A]

Okay, I'm waiting for the punchline.

[B]

Well, my old phone bill with AT&T was a joke. So I'm doing a whole new bit with T Mobile. They paid off off my family's four phones up to $3200 and gave us four new phones on the house.

[A]

I gotta work this into my routine. Introducing family freedom, our lowest cost. To switch our biggest family savings all on America's largest 5G network. Visit your local T Mobile location or learn more@t mobile.com familyfreedom. Up to $800 per line via virtual prepaid card. Typically takes 15 days. Free phones via 24 monthly bill credits with finance agreement eg Apple iPhone16128 gigabyte 802999 eligible trade in eg iPhone11 Pro for well qualified credits end and balance due if you pay off early or cancel contact T Mobile.

[B]

The dollar price point worked though, in.

[A]

The very beginning, way back in the early 2000s.

[B]

Yeah, the dollar price point worked. And the other thing is that they were, they had problems getting into retail stores. Retail stores. Again, like they have huge sections of like a CVS or whatever that are like l', Oreal, Revlon, Maybelline, these companies that have been around for basically ever.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And they're like, who literally own this channel. Chunk of shelf.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. And they're like, we're not making any room for dollar lipstick. Yeah, we're not going to make enough profit off of that. So Elf was like, they, Elf talked to Glamour magazine and Glamour magazine wanted to highlight the dollar lipstick. They were like, the girlies are going to love this. A dollar lipstick. That's, that's decent quality. We want to talk about it. But there was one catch. The product needed to be nationally available to 2 million readers creators. So ELF made a website and started E Commerce. And Elf was legitimately like the first cosmetic brand to ever do E commerce from a website. They were the first digital, first web makeup brand.

[A]

That's so crazy. Yeah, that's so crazy. See, the thing is too, with a lot of this stuff, because you've shown me. Because you order a lot of stuff online.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I was never bid big into ordering stuff online, even though I do everything else. The Internet, when it came to physical products, because. Because I like to be able to touch a version of it first.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Especially with makeup. That would be a thing where I'm like, oh, I want to be able to like do a tester.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or see, you know, how it works or like how the blend works before I buy it. But you've shown me that. And I feel like Women are much more comfortable with it. Returns is the big part of it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're obsessed with a return.

[B]

I love a return.

[A]

I didn't even know how to return something until I got it. You're like, no, no, put it back in the box.

[B]

Box.

[A]

But I'm like, I ripped the box. They're not gonna take it back.

[B]

They'll take it back. They'll take it back.

[A]

And you've explained all that.

[B]

Such an American thing. Other countries don't let you return the way America does.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

That's just like once you did it, it's yours.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. But that's part of our grift.

[B]

Yeah, it's part of our American grift.

[A]

It's part of our grift. Usa. Usa.

[B]

So anyway, ELF is super successful now. This whole brand they built. Super successful. Their total assets, based on last year's numbers are estimated to be at $1.13 billion with a total equity of 64. 3 million.

[A]

1.13 or 13 billion.

[B]

1.1. Like over 1 billion.

[A]

Where's the number?

[B]

Right here.

[A]

Okay. 1.1 billion. Okay, gotcha. I was confused. I didn't know if you misread the one.

[B]

Yeah. So they're incredibly successful is what I'm getting at. And they do have investor money. Not just my $50 that I put on Robinhood.

[A]

Because they're publicly traded company.

[B]

They're publicly traded now that when I'm talking about Bora. They weren't public traded back then, but then they eventually became publicly traded. And so then I was looking at their investors because, like, who's investing other than me? Other than me. Who's investors that are upset about what they did with this Matt Rife situation. Guess who some of their institutional shareholders include.

[A]

I'm gonna. Can I guess?

[B]

Go ahead.

[A]

Blackrock.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Blackstone.

[B]

I don't have that one. No.

[A]

Vanguard.

[B]

Yes. Yes.

[A]

Those are the big three evils that I know off the top of my head.

[B]

You forgot JP Morgan, Chase and Holden.

[A]

Ah, I've always forget JP Morgan.

[B]

Yeah. BlackRock, Vanguard, and JP Morgan Chase and Holden.

[A]

You know, if I had a chart, I could point to the connections.

[B]

Nope, we don't have to.

[A]

That JP Morgan Chase and Holding had.

[B]

No.

[A]

With a certain financier.

[B]

No.

[A]

But somebody took away the chart and just gave me this little bottle setting spray.

[B]

Oh, he's setting. Spraying his face right now. He's doing a pretty good job. Except he's squinting really hard. He's squinting. You really usually gotta keep your face relaxed with a Setting spray. Because you don't want the makeup to dry mouth.

[A]

Yeah, it's in my beard.

[B]

Yeah. You're not supposed to talk when you do the setting spray. That's the whole thing.

[A]

Why. Why do we let a society built on hurting women like this?

[B]

I don't know. Isn't it. It seems to be working totally well.

[A]

This hurts.

[B]

Yeah. Makeup. Beauty hurts. That's the whole thing they say.

[A]

What?

[B]

Beauty hurts is the thing your mom tells you when you're little.

[A]

What? No, I don't.

[B]

When they're teaching how to pluck your eyebrows when you're 12, they're like, beauty hurts.

[A]

Hi, comments. Please get into the. Okay, y', all, I've never asked you to lie to me before, but please get in the comments on wherever you're listening or watching this and tell me that Mrs. P just lied. Women, please tell me that your mothers do not look you in the face and say beauty hurts when you're 12 years old or younger. Please make this a Mrs. P. Solo adventure on that one. Yeah, I. I, for the love of God, need that to not be true.

[B]

Anyway, back to Borba. So I. Okay, Borba. He. I was. When I was looking him up, it turns out he's leaving the company in 2012. I'm like, why are you leaving the company when you're a multi millionaire?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's because he decided to become a priest.

[A]

What?

[B]

No. I was so serious about that. When I said that, I forgot about that.

[A]

I put a lot of big. I feel like a beagle at a testing lab.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I put so much on me now. He decided to just become a priest.

[B]

He wanted to become a priest.

[A]

What happened?

[B]

And I was like, please, someone explain this to me on the Internet. And so I found an interview that he did on November, In November of 2023, on a religious podcast called the Drew Mariano Show.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And I need you to know something real quick, listeners, about the sacrifice that I put in on this day of research. Because I had to listen to basically a full Catholic Mass before I could get to the interview, because their media player is so out of date on their website, it didn't have a skip or fast forward button. And so I had to listen to, like, a. Basically a full Mass. And they were really obsessed with the blood of Christ. There was a lot of blood situations. And then they finally got to Borba.

[A]

So if you all are wondering what we do with your Patreon money.

[B]

Yeah, It's.

[A]

We support Mrs. Pearl Mania to sit.

[B]

Through a Catholic mess in my Headphones going, oh my God. And then the worst part is, is I'm so, so trained. Like, was it Pavlov's dog?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I have a response because he's like the name of the father. Son. I'm doing it. I'm sitting there, I'm like, oh, God. You can't get the training.

[A]

Was this two days ago?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That explains so much. Why you were super weird that day. You were super weird that day. I had no idea.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That you were sitting there with one headphone in listening to a Catholic mass.

[B]

Yeah. Taking notes on my, my notes app.

[A]

And I was like, baby, you see my car keys?

[B]

Like, if you could just find one thing. Anyway, I'm going to paraphrase his part of the interview. Okay. Because in this interview he talks about why he decided to leave elf cosmetics addicts and join the seminary. Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All right. So he's at a party. All right. First and foremost, he's a party boy. He admittedly states this. He's rich, he has a lot of money. He lives in la, he knows everybody.

[A]

Of course he does.

[B]

And he's a partier. Okay.

[A]

We just pulled up a picture of me. He's a handsome guy.

[B]

He's a handsome guy.

[A]

He's a very. In 2012, he was a very handsome 2012 guy.

[B]

In 2012. He's very VAT.

[A]

VH1 face.

[B]

He has VH1 face. That's the best way to put it.

[A]

VH1 face.

[B]

And so he's like, he's at this party and he's. I'm not, I'm not going to say what he had imbibed or didn't imbibe. Right. But at some point during the party, he gets alone with himself and he's like, I am so full of the void and I have no true love in my life. And he calls out to God that he wants out of this world. If all the world is, is partying and making lots and lots of money. And I'm like, I've also been that high. I've been at the end of a three day bender. I've been like, God, I gotta get out of here. I made a lot of bad decisions in this four day weekend. There's. This can't be all there is. God.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So much money and partying.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

But he, he.

[A]

But instead of going into a church basement.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He goes into a seminary.

[B]

He's like, I can't be in the basement. I gotta be the leader. No.

[A]

All eyes on me. All eyes on me.

[B]

So then he states, this is him saying this Again, I'm paraphrasing, though. He says that St. Michael came to him in that moment and performed a conversion and did an exorcism on him. And I'm like, so did we accidentally do meth? Because we're hearing voices. I don't know what's going on. But he says St. Michael came to him and performed an exorcism on him in this moment at this party in his house. And then St. Michael took him spiritually through a spiritual reality and showed him portals that. He showed him the portals that Borba had opened in his life to allow the demons into his life. Because basically St. Michael said, See all these demons? You're surrounded with all the people at the party. You've opened the portals to let the demons in.

[A]

You've done spiritual poppers.

[B]

Yeah, spiritual poppers. And St. Michael is showing him that. That he has opened these portals.

[A]

I gotta say, this is so 15th century Italian. I have never. Like, like, if you. Y', all. We did an episode about the saints a while ago, and we actually, by.

[B]

The way, he was the same now.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. The first millennial Saint Acutus is now officially a saint. It happened. It's official. It officially happened.

[B]

It happened.

[A]

The new Pope Leo was like, we're gonna make him a dude. And it's. I saw images of it. It's super creepy.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

The big pictures of him. And then they even showed him like. Like laid out, like in the thing. And I was like, like it. Anyway, but when you go back, like, when we talk about. In that episode, we talk about martyrs and things like that. But one of the things when you go through a lot of these guys, like, they had these moments back in the day, especially in, like, Italy and Spain, where they'd be out there, they'd be partying, they'd be like, I'm like the only atheist in this city. What up, dude? God isn't real. And then one night, they would get super hammered. They're like, I. I'm selling my castle and I'm going to just. Just dressed as a monk and I'm just gonna eat bread. And I'm like, what did you do?

[B]

You did something.

[A]

What? You did something.

[B]

You did something real weird.

[A]

Something crazy happened that night. And we're not accusing Borbo.

[B]

I'm not doing. I'm not saying anything.

[A]

But what we are saying is, like, this is a pretty common Italian story, and I wish it was an Italian story that would happen to Andrew Cuomo. Go away, old man.

[B]

Go away.

[A]

Go away.

[B]

No politics. This is a fun episode that we. It has some bad things in it. But anyway, so now after this vision of the portals.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

He's shown another vision by Saint.

[A]

He looked at. He saw such glorious holes.

[B]

Yeah. He saw such glorious portal holes.

[A]

Yeah. At this party, a beautiful angel appeared and showed me holes of glory.

[B]

Yeah. And so he's shown another vision where St. Michael showed him that his soul was going to hell. Hell, which is completely the Ghost of Christmas Future situation from Charles Dickens movie.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A Muppet Christmas Carol. Specifically the Muppet Christmas Carol version.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

Then he showed him that his soul was going to go to hell because he showed him what he did to warrant to be there. And then St. Michael takes him back in time. So Ghost of Christmas Past to show him that when he was 10 years old, a memory of him being in church with his mother and siblings where his mother had asked him to be a priest when he was 10. And that was when God had originally asked him to be a priest. He just didn't listen.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

And he went against God's will in that moment.

[A]

So wait, wait, so what you're telling me right now is that because a 10 year old didn't listen to his mom, that now Matt Rife might have just cost me our retirement?

[B]

Yeah, potentially.

[A]

Potentially.

[B]

Theoretically.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because that's the butterfly effect from hell.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to be relying on little kids becoming priests to be a thing that affects my life, you know?

[A]

Yeah. But apparently that's. That's. That's been a big effect. And I had no idea. So this whole time. And now I look like this.

[B]

So he's still with St. Michael in his head.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I mean, no, this is definitely real. This definitely happened.

[A]

Yeah, no, definitely.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

He's Italian. St. Michael talks to Italians all the time, so. Or maybe Spanish.

[B]

This is when he knew he needed to do God's will. Okay. He needed to listen to God finally.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And so in that moment, after St. Michael left him, he packs his bags. He packed bags. He leaves his mansion. He does never return. And he goes to a hotel and then starts dive. He calls it divesting from his property. I'm like, you mean you sold your house? He moves back to his hometown. And after he gets back to his hometown, God tells him he needs to divest from all of his worldly goods, so he has to sell all of his cars, including his favorite Aston Martin. That's so sad.

[A]

Is that what he said in the.

[B]

Interview, he literally, like, he made, like.

[A]

A big deal about savings selling his Aston Martin.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, I. I found this audio one where he said it, but I had also read different, like, press releases that were put out by the Catholic Church and him. And he mentions the Aston Martin in every single one of them. He's so upset about the Aston Martin. It's so funny.

[A]

Imagine you have the Archangel Michael standing before you. I have battled Satan, my son. I'm here to save your soul. Yeah, you. You have sinned. Elf has sinned. All of these things are sins, and you will burn an eternal hellfire. Okay, I'll do whatever you want. Sell the Aston Martin.

[B]

Hold up.

[A]

Okay, all right, all right. Okay. Now listen, I'll stop going to Eyes Wide Shut party that I can. I can. We can. I'll meet you in the middle on that. Yeah, but the Aston Martin.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

Imagine that. Oh, my God. Now he's got to ride around in one of the. Those Ford vans.

[B]

So, yeah, he had. He also had millions and millions of dollars in the bank, and he, in his words, gave it away. He gave away all of his money. He sold all of his makeup at, like, 75% off, donated all the money to different nonprofit programs through the Catholic Church.

[A]

Again, this is all. This is. This is like, I think, like, didn't Francis B.

[B]

Do this?

[A]

There's, like, a few different. Like, there's a few famous saints in Catholicism who did this exact thing.

[B]

So he is currently ordained as a deacon and in 2025. Well, now he's. He's working to become a priest. So he's a deacon now, and he's still working to become a priest as of today.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, got it.

[B]

And so, yeah, that is everything I found out about ELF Just because I got mad about what a dick hole Matt Rife is.

[A]

So many dicks.

[B]

So many dicks.

[A]

So many dicks. Well, Elf, get your shit together. I want to be able to retire someday. But if you don't want us to retire, but you want to keep supporting us, always. Join us on our Patreon. Like, subscribe, comment, all those fun things. Thank you guys for joining us. Mrs. P. Thank you so much for your research.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

And we'll see you guys soon with another episode of Too Many Tabs, Too many frauds and too many scammers that we wish weren't real. Too many cons and too many spammers, and we're starting to feel like we've got too many tabs.

[B]

Open.

[A]

Too many times. Remember to smile. Marketing is hard, but I'll tell you a little secret. It doesn't have to be. Let me point something out. You're listening to a podcast right now, and it's great. You love the host. You seek it out and download it. You listen to it while driving, working out, cooking, even going to the bathroom. Podcasts are a pretty close companion. And this is a podcast ad. Did I get your attention? You can reach great listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from Libsyn Ads. Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements, or run a pre produced ad like this one across thousands of shows. To reach your target audience in their favorite podcasts with Libsyn ads, go to Libsynads.com that's L I B S Y N ads.com today.