Too Many Tabs with Pearlmania500

Episode 153: The Secret Banking Clan That Bought Multiple Presidents

A Detailed Summary

Overview of Episode Theme

In this engaging, irreverent deep dive, hosts Pearlmania500 ("Mrs. P" and "Mr. P") unravel the hidden influence and history of the Mellon family—a secretive, staggeringly wealthy Pittsburgh banking dynasty whose quiet power has shaped more than a century of American politics, economics, and even catastrophes. Centered on the news that Tim Mellon, fourth-generation heir, clandestinely covered the U.S. military payroll during a 2025 government shutdown, the hosts trace the intricate, shadowy roots and wide-reaching consequences of Mellon money—from 19th-century tycoons to present-day power-broking and campaign financing.
Tone: Whip-smart, sarcastic, history-nerd energy, with plenty of comedic asides and contemporary analogies.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Mystery of the "Secret Billionaire" (01:00—09:12)

• Opening Setup: The episode opens with the revelation that an "unknown billionaire" gave $130 million to cover military salaries during the 2025 government shutdown, as announced by then-President Trump.
• Speculation: The hosts riff on how unusual it is for billionaires to hide their acts, contrasting current flashy, celebrity-style billionaires (Elon, Bezos, Zuckerberg) with this anonymous approach.
• Big Reveal: The New York Times outs the secret benefactor as Tim Mellon, scion of the historic Mellon family of banking fame—setting up the episode’s "lore hole" into Mellon clan history and influence.

“We're used to billionaires like Mark Zuckerberg losing at an MMA fight. But we're not used to a billionaire like Tim Mellon… part of the Mellon banking clan, a clan from Pittsburgh that reaches back over 175 years into the very depths of American history.” – Host 1, 01:00

2. Mellon Family Deep History: From Ireland to Pittsburgh (11:07—15:51)

• Origins & Immigration: Mellons were Scots-Irish Protestants strategically transplanted to Northern Ireland to destabilize Catholic power, later emigrating to Pittsburgh in the early 1800s.
• The First Tycoon: Thomas Mellon, born 1813, goes from exposed tenant farming to law, then amasses wealth through real estate and the founding of T. Mellon & Sons Bank (opened 1870).
• Inheritance & Wealth: Thomas hands generational wealth (and a trust designed for perpetual enrichment) to the line; the Mellons become some of the richest Americans.
• Old Money Tactics: Unlike nouveau billionaires, the Mellons followed the motto, “Nothing should be noticed” (Bunny Mellon, 19:12)—mastering discreet, durable wealth preservation.

3. Mellon Power Grows: Industrialization, Oil, and Printing Money (34:02—38:12)

• Vertical Integration: Andrew ("not Andy") Mellon (Thomas’ son) drives vast expansion into coal, oil, gas, and aluminum, mastering vertical monopolies in true Gilded Age style.
• Banking Privilege: Mellon Bank gains the right to print money—directly likened to today’s cryptocurrency ambitions.
• Environmental Apathy: The family’s oil exploits leave thousands of abandoned wells—a legacy of disregard for public health.

4. The Johnstown Flood: First Catastrophe Bought and Paid For (40:30—51:17)

• Disaster Recap: The Mellons (and fellow barons like Carnegie) co-founded the South Fork Fishing & Hunting Club, maintaining a badly-modified dam for their private lake retreat. Neglect and selfish alterations (fish screens, lowering the dam) lead to the catastrophic Johnstown Flood of 1889, killing 2,209 people.
• Total Lack of Accountability: Despite community lawsuits, Mellon and friends escape all legal responsibility, claiming the disaster an “act of God”. Mellon donates a pittance (~$35k in today’s money) to relief, reinforcing the era’s impunity for the ultra-rich.

“Imagine if you heard there is $4.4 billion in destruction and you gave $35,000 and you were one of the people who was supposed to be in charge of updating the dam.” – Host 1, 49:30

5. Mellon Influence On Politics: Buying Presidents, Breaking Laws (61:14—71:58)

• Bank-to-Bureaucrat Pipeline: Andrew Mellon’s investments and strategic campaign donations ensure his appointment as Treasury Secretary under Warren G. Harding (who was, incidentally, heavily indebted to Mellon Bank).
• Conflict of Interest & Loopholes: Despite 18th-century laws barring Treasury Secretaries from commercial interests, Mellon evades this by “selling” assets to his brother—a maneuver likened directly to modern Trumpian blind-trust antics.
• Policy Havoc: Mellon slashes taxes for the wealthy, engineers high protective tariffs, and fundamentally shapes the boom of the Roaring Twenties.

“Mellon, the Melon bank, had lent $1.5 million to Harding’s campaign... He’s Elon Musking it.” — Host 1 and 2, 66:39-66:42

6. The Great Depression & Aftermath: Disaster and Evasion (77:21—84:50)

• Denial & Laissez-Faire Cruelty: During the 1929 crash and resulting Great Depression, Mellon insists on austerity and non-intervention, offering the infamous advice to Hoover:

  “Liquidate labor, liquidate stocks, liquidate the farmers, liquidate real estate, purge the rottenness out of the system. ... Enterprising people will pick up the wrecks from less competent people.” — Mellon, quoted by Hoover’s memoir, 81:10

• Ultimate Fallout: Mellon becomes the second most hated man in America (after Hoover), only escaping impeachment by being sent as ambassador to the UK—where he lobbies for US oil expansion into Kuwait, indirectly setting up future wars.
• Death in (Dis)grace: FDR reverses his policies; Mellon faces tax fraud investigations and dies in 1936.

7. The Middle Generations: Paul & Bunny Mellon—Old Money Decorum and Social Connections (86:10—95:16)

• Paul Mellon's Profile: Archetypal mid-century WASP billionaire: obsessed with horse racing, art collecting, and writing a “boring, shallow” memoir (Reflections in a Silver Spoon—87:45).
• Family Dynamics: Bunny Mellon, Paul’s second wife, is a beloved Democratic garden designer and confidante of Jackie Kennedy. She embodies tasteful, old-school Democratic elite, in contrast to the increasingly secretive and conservative Tim.
• Long Lives, Long Shadows: These generations wield cultural and philanthropic influence; Bunny Mellon’s lifespan (103) stretches until 2014, acting as a moderating force on Tim.

8. Tim Mellon: Secret Kingmaker, Reactionary Superdonor (99:00—118:47)

• Character Sketch: Tim is socially awkward, obsessed with “boy’s toys” (trains, planes), and reputedly difficult. He grows up with immense privileges—his trust fund equals his parents’ wealth—but feels alienated.
• Political Radicalization: At Yale in the ’60s-‘70s, Tim briefly experiments with progressive causes before taking a hard-right turn with the rise of Reagan.
• Autobiographical Views: In his self-published book (Pan Am Dot Captain Pan Am), Tim derides social welfare as “slavery redux,” targets Black and poor Americans as “belligerent,” and rails against academic disciplines like Black Studies and Women’s Studies.
• Supercharging the Far Right:
  • Becomes second-largest donor ($150M) to Trump’s 2024 campaign and super PACs—outranked only by Elon Musk.
  • Gives millions to notorious right-wing candidates, “spoiler” third parties (RFK Jr.), and—crucially—anti-immigrant hate groups labeled by the SPLC.
  • Deliberately trolls the Democrats, e.g., giving to AOC’s campaign just to force a refusal.

“He calls himself an entrepreneur repeatedly.” — Host 1, 105:39
“Being born into a pile of money like Scrooge McDuck does not make an entrepreneur.” — Host 2, 105:42

• Lack of Taxation: Hosts emphasize the poisonous effects of unchecked dynastic wealth, pointing out Tim donates a higher share of his wealth (to far-right causes) than he would have paid in taxes under a fairer system.

9. Mellon Family Legacy: Philanthropy, Culture, and Control (112:56—115:15)

• The Mellons founded and shaped major U.S. institutions (Carnegie Mellon University, National Gallery of Art), hold vast investments in oil, media, transportation, and more.
• Their philanthropy often masks their deep entanglement in American inequality and reactionary politics.

“Tim Mellon is the product of a tax system pioneered by his grandfather that allowed the perpetuation of dynastic wealth and the maintenance of its political power.” — (Quoting Robert Reich & hosts, 115:29)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Old vs. New Money:

  “Wealth whispers. Money talks.” – Host 1, 17:53
  “Really truly wealthy people are very secretive and you don't see them running around...” – Host 2, 18:07

• On the Johnstown Flood:

  “A survivor named Gertrude Gwyn Slattery said this quote. ‘It was like the Day of Judgment… Pandemonium had broken loose…’” – Host 1, 47:01

• On Mellon’s Influence:

  “Andrew Mellon’s appointment as the Secretary of Treasurer, probably illegal… Mellon overcame these legal restrictions by pretending to sell his assets to his brother, the same way Donald Trump often pretends to sell his assets to his sons or say that it's in a blind trust.” – Host 1, 67:24–67:44

• On the Great Depression:

  “In his own memoirs, President Hoover wrote that Mellon advised him to, quote, liquidate labor, liquidate stocks, liquidate the farmers, liquidate real estate, purge the rottenness out of the system…” – Host 1, 81:10

• On Tim Mellon’s Appalling Views:

  “Timothy Mellon wrote that black people were, quote, even more belligerent after the explosion of social programs in the 60s and 70s… That Americans who rely on government assistance were, quote, slaves of a new master. Uncle Sam.” – Host 1, 104:38–105:03

Important Timestamps by Segment

| Topic | Timestamps | |------------------------------------------------------------|------------------| | Opening / Secret Billionaire Mystery | 01:00–09:12 | | Mellon Family History – Thomas Mellon | 11:07–15:51 | | Banking, Oil, Industrial Growth (Andrew Mellon) | 34:02–38:12 | | The Johnstown Flood Disaster | 40:30–51:17 | | Mellon Political Power & Laws Broken | 61:14–71:58 | | The Great Depression & Mellon’s Downfall | 77:21–84:50 | | Paul & Bunny Mellon: Socialite & Gardener | 86:10–95:16 | | Tim Mellon: The Present Day Reactionary Billionaire | 99:00–118:47 | | Family Philanthropy & Dynastic Control | 112:56–115:15 | | Host Reflection and Closing Thoughts | 118:14–119:50 |

Conclusion & Overall Takeaways

The episode delivers a comedic but searing indictment of the Mellon clan’s unchecked, nearly invisible power: a family that weathered empires, bought presidents, shaped depressions and disasters, and remains richer and more influential than ever while hiding behind the very walls of secrecy and silence that their “new money” peers disavow. From man-made floods to man-made presidents, the Mellons are exposed as the ultimate case study in American dynastic rule.

Final moral:

“There’s no such thing as a good billionaire. We’re gonna repeat that over and over again.” – Host 1, 95:22

And as for Tim Mellon—
A cautionary tale: that wealth without the constraint of taxation, social pressure, or accountability breeds not innovation, but isolation, paranoia, and the perilous temptation to buy the future for personal pique.

For listeners:

This episode is a masterclass in fun, accessible history and power analysis—highly recommended for anyone interested in American oligarchy, the traps of dynastic wealth, and the (literal) costs of billionaire discretion.

End of Summary