My L.A. Wildfire Evacuation

Summary

Tosh Show Episode Summary: "My L.A. Wildfire Evacuation"

Release Date: January 21, 2025 | Host: Daniel Tosh | Podcast: Tosh Show

---

1. Introduction and Host Absence

The episode opens with Daniel Tosh addressing his audience, humorously explaining the absence of his co-host, Eddie. Tosh reveals that Eddie is performing in the Florida Keys, distancing himself from the wildfires ravaging Southern California.

Daniel Tosh [02:57]: "Eddie's not here. Now I'm in a better mood and I'm going to pass those savings on to you, the viewers, the money that I would have spent on Eddie being here today."

2. Interaction with Jon Stewart

In an unexpected twist, Jon Stewart joins the conversation via a live call, checking in on Eddie. This brief interaction adds a layer of camaraderie and star power to the episode.

Jon Stewart [03:25]: "How's Key West? Key west is great."

Daniel Tosh [03:31]: "We glad you're safe. Stay safe, Eddie."

3. Wildfires in Southern California: Causes and Impact

Tosh delves into the topic of the wildfires affecting Southern California, expressing frustration over the oversimplified public concern and misconceptions about the region's vastness.

Daniel Tosh [09:34]: "Here's the problem when you have wildfires in California, California is so big that everybody reaches out to you. Oh my goodness, are you okay?"

He criticizes the superficial empathy shown by outsiders, juxtaposing it with the typical disdain California residents face.

Daniel Tosh [10:15]: "Are you really heartbroken? Hate us. 'Cause you ain't us."

4. Personal Evacuation Experience

Tosh recounts his personal ordeal during the wildfires, detailing the sudden power outages and the urgent need to evacuate with his family. He highlights the challenges of relocating with a one-year-old and navigating the chaos of evacuation protocols.

Daniel Tosh [14:30]: "I've got a one year old. I can't live like that. I can't entertain a one year old."

He shares the logistical nightmares of finding accommodations and the peculiar rule allowing pets in hotels during evacuations, leading to chaotic scenes.

Daniel Tosh [16:43]: "During an evacuation, no hotel is allowed to turn away animals, dogs."

5. Celebrity Encounters During Evacuation

The episode is peppered with amusing anecdotes of Tosh running into celebrities like Chandler Parsons, Dwayne Wade, and Oprah Winfrey during his evacuation stay at Rosewood Miramar Hotel.

Daniel Tosh [17:00]: "I immediately ran into Chandler Parsons there... One day, he was with his daughter, and she was just sobbing, crying."

He humorously narrates how his efforts to help calm a celebrity's child backfired when Chandler took the stuffed animal intended for Tosh's daughter.

Daniel Tosh [18:42]: "He got kicked out of the hotel. He was tired of that place."

6. Critique of Media Coverage and Public Response

Tosh expresses his disdain for the way media covers wildfires, arguing that the narrative often overlooks the resilience of affected communities. He contrasts his proactive measures in 2018 with the current situation, emphasizing the community's strength.

Daniel Tosh [24:06]: "I don't care what it was. It happened and now there's destruction."

He also touches upon the inefficiency of evacuation processes and the reliance on both public and private efforts to combat the fires.

7. Reflections on Past Wildfire Experiences in Australia

Drawing parallels with Australia's devastating wildfires in 2019, Tosh reflects on the long-term recovery and rebuilding efforts. He shares his personal involvement in aid and the underreported progress made over the years.

Daniel Tosh [24:20]: "I donated all the money that I made to help, you know, rebuild. And now it's been four or so years and I haven't checked in."

8. Community and Support Systems

Tosh highlights the importance of community support and the role of local heroes in firefighting efforts. He narrates the heroic actions of his neighbor, who single-handedly saved multiple homes by utilizing a pool drainer pump to combat spot fires.

Daniel Tosh [26:15]: "He saw that his neighbor's house was on fire, put his pump in his pool, got their house out..."

9. Personal Life and Family Impact

Addressing the personal toll of the wildfires, Tosh discusses the impact on his family, including his pregnant wife during the 2018 fires and the current challenges of ensuring his family's safety amidst natural disasters.

Daniel Tosh [25:30]: "My wife was seven months pregnant at the time, and it was just the worst thing in the world."

He candidly shares concerns about the future, the safety of his community, and the emotional strain of repeated evacuations.

10. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

In winding down the episode, Tosh combines his signature humor with a heartfelt message urging resilience and community support. He touches upon the economic implications and the potential for policy changes to better handle future crises.

Daniel Tosh [30:09]: "Thank everyone for doing their work. I filmed just around the corner from my house, just the hundreds and hundreds of fire trucks..."

He concludes by reassuring listeners of his and his show's safety while urging the audience to stay strong and support one another.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Daniel Tosh [03:30]: "Oh, you're on the pod. Eddie, we're checking in on you."

• Daniel Tosh [09:34]: "Everybody just likes to shit on California constantly, but now everybody's just heartbroken over what we're going through."

• Daniel Tosh [16:44]: "Everybody that was getting out of their car had two or three pets and a mother in law, and it was just hysterical."

• Daniel Tosh [24:20]: "In four years, things will be good or better, I hope."

• Daniel Tosh [26:05]: "I can't believe the lights in my living room just flickered."

Key Themes and Insights

• Resilience of Southern California: Despite widespread devastation, Tosh emphasizes the strength and resilience of the local community, challenging stereotypical perceptions.

• Celebrity Culture Amidst Crisis: Encounters with celebrities during evacuation highlight the universal nature of disaster and the melding of fame with ordinary struggles.

• Media Representation: Tosh critiques how media coverage can either oversimplify or inadequately represent the multifaceted impacts of natural disasters.

• Personal Responsibility and Community Support: The narrative underscores the importance of individual efforts and community solidarity in overcoming large-scale emergencies.

• Humor as Coping Mechanism: True to his comedic roots, Tosh employs humor to navigate and narrate the harrowing experiences, making the content engaging and relatable.

Conclusion

In "My L.A. Wildfire Evacuation," Daniel Tosh offers a candid and humorous yet poignant look into the chaos and challenges of enduring wildfires in Southern California. Through personal anecdotes, celebrity interactions, and critical reflections on media and community responses, Tosh provides listeners with a multifaceted perspective on resilience, community support, and the human spirit in the face of natural disasters.

Transcript

[Spectrum Business]

Spectrum Business knows that small business owners put in the work. It's unlimited hours, unlimited effort and unlimited passion, all to unlock the unlimited potential of your business. Get fast reliable Internet, advanced WI fi with security shield and an unlimited mobile line, all only $49.99 a month. Learn how Spectrum Business can connect your business to unlimited [e-mail] business it's your business made limitless. That's Life Unlimited. That's Spectrum Business. Restrictions apply Often not available in all areas.

[ABC Network]

ABC Tim Allen and Kat Dennings star in the new family comedy Shifting Gears.

[Daniel Tosh]

Dad, I'm broke and I need a place to stay until I figure out what the rest of my life looks like.

[ABC Network]

So a couple of days when his daughter moves back in.

[Daniel Tosh]

The last time you walked out that door, you looked back at me and.

[ABC Network]

Gave me a double bird.

[Daniel Tosh]

I was 18. The double bird was how I ended all our conversations.

[ABC Network]

The wheels come off.

[Daniel Tosh]

Can we try to talk to each other like rational adults? If you watch the news lately, that's not a thing anymore.

[ABC Network]

New Wednesdays, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu Around Are you still quoting 30 year old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. And every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now it pays to Discover. Learn [e-mail] credit card Based on the February 2024 Nielsen report, Amazon One Medical.

[Spectrum Business]

Presents painful thoughts I could catch anything sitting in this doctor's waiting room. Okay, Just wiped his runny nose on my jacket and the guy next to me sitting in a pool of perspiration insists on sharing my armrest.

[Daniel Tosh]

Next time, make an appointment with an Amazon One Medical provider. There's no waiting and no sweaty guy. Amazon One Medical Healthcare just got less painful. Ha. I just got a text. The Church of Scientology is witnessing for people in the parking lots at the grocery stores. They got. They got these jackets that say Scientology Volunteer ministry and they're just walking around talking to people. That's what people think of California.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Good God. Posh Show. Posh Tosh Show. From show. Welcome to Tosh Show. Daniel Tosh, live and in the flesh. Man, it's good to be back. I'm in a great mood. Eddie, how are you?

[Eddie]

Eddie's not here.

[Daniel Tosh]

Eddie's not here. Now I'm in a better mood and I'm Going to pass those savings on to you, the viewers, the money that I would have spent on Eddie being here today. Now, where is Eddie? That's a great question. You guys know where he is?

[Eddie]

Yeah, he's in the Florida Keys.

[Daniel Tosh]

The Florida Keys? He's in Key west doing shows. No better place to be when hell and fury has struck down here in all of Southern California. Well, I should check in on Eddie. I should at least make sure Eddie's fine. Let me see if Eddie's fine. Let me call Eddie. What do you do when you're in Key West? Have sex with men.

[Jon Stewart]

What's up, big dog?

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, you're on the pod. Eddie, we're checking in on you. Oh, hey.

[Jon Stewart]

How's it going, everybody?

[Daniel Tosh]

How's Key West? Key west is great.

[Jon Stewart]

I just got here and I'm in, like, a little bungalow and faces of the sunset, so. Man, this might be.

[Daniel Tosh]

This place is cool. All right, well, we're glad you're safe. Stay safe, Eddie. All stay safe. Okay, I'll stay safe.

[Jon Stewart]

You too, buddy.

[Daniel Tosh]

Stay safe. Stay safe. Eddie couldn't live further away from the fires. Just so we're clear, he lives in South Bay. Before I get in to the wildfires that have rocked SoCal. Yeah. You ever call it SoCal? I never do.

[Eddie]

Never.

[Daniel Tosh]

I know people that call it. I don't think anyone calls it SoCal. If I'm writing it down. Maybe I would write SoCal just because it's less. Less time. But anyway, before I get in, I got to talk about a few other things. Some of you are probably. Hey, Dan, why do you still have the beard? Have you been out fighting fires? No, no, no. The reason I still have the beard is because I was going to shave it, clean up, and my wife's like, don't shave that. You look way better with it. I was like, whoa. No, I don't think that our relationship has lost some of the spice, but if there's something that's given me an edge, then I'll keep it. You telling me I just gotta grow some ball hair on my face? That's what it feels like, too. It feels like a 14 year old's balls are on my face. Now, before you take that and run with it. Well, how do you know what a 14 year old's balls feel like on your face? No, I don't really have an answer for that. Last week I told a story about how I had a poop in the woods. And unfortunately I mentioned, or fortunately, depending on who you ask, I mentioned the bakery which was a cakery that I went to first. And I just want to reiterate because they immediately texted me like, hey, I hope you weren't implying that our place gave you the shits. And I'm like, no, no. And I'm sorry that it came across. I was saying I'm lactose intolerant and I eat like a child. That was just too much for my stomach. My stomach can't handle, you know, anything. I could eat psyllium husk for breakfast. I'm still going to go diarrhea at some point. Yeah, okay. Well, anyway, I just wanted them to know my friends at Sugar Pine Cakery, that I love them and their food's amazing. And don't let one story of me pooping in the woods make it sound like I'm not a huge fan.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Does not cause diarrhea.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, your food does not cause that. That's. That's just the life I live. That was just a horrible coincidence. Anyway. Well, hello there, fellow entrepreneurs. Daniel Tosh here. It's a new year. What better time than 2025 to turn your ideas into reality and start a new business. Become your own boss. To be clear, I'm not offering to help you, so don't ask, but Shopify can. Shopify makes it simple to create your brand, open your business and get your first sale. They'll help you set up your storefront, connect to your customers through social media, and sell everywhere that scroll. And when your sales take off like a rocket, then what? Well, I'm glad you asked. Shopify makes it easy to manage your growing business. They help with the details like shipping, taxes and payments from one single dashboard, allowing you to focus on important stuff like growing your business or taking your dog for a walk. What happens if you don't act now? Well, you're going to regret it. What if someone beats you to the idea? Oh, don't kick yourself when you hear this again in a year because you didn't do anything. Established in 2025. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.comtosh all lowercase. With Shopify, your first sale is closer than you think. Go to shopify.comtosh to start selling with Shopify today. That's shopify.comtosh.

[ABC Network]

Looking for excitement? Chumba Casino is here. Play anytime. Play anywhere. Play on the train. Play at the store. Play at home. Play when you're bored. Play today for your chance to. And get daily bonuses when you Log in. So what are you waiting for? Don't delay. Chumba Casino is free to play. Experience social gameplay like never before. Go to Chumba Casino right now to play hundreds of games, including online slots, Bingo, Slingo and more. Live the chumba [e-mail] VGW no purchase necessary, void or prohibited by law. Seek terms and conditions.

[Katherine Legg]

Jon Stewart is back at the Daily show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with the Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondence and contributors, and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you you get your podcasts.

[Paola Pedrosa]

Hey you guys, I'm Katherine Legg. I'm a racing driver who's literally driven everything with four wheels across the planet and I've got a new podcast. It's called Throttle Therapy. This season I'm gearing up to make history, competing in some of the world's most notorious racing events, starting at the Indy 500. Join me as I travel from racetrack to racetrack in my quest to continue a memorable career in racing. I'm also going to bring you inside stories with legends of sports, new faces from the next generation of auto racing, and conversations with the people who've supported me throughout my career. We'll be getting into everything from karting to nascar, even Formula one. Whether you dream about being a pro athlete or an astronaut, we're talking about what it takes to make it. Listen to Throttle Therapy with Katherine Legg, an iHeart women's sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Spectrum Business]

Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports.

[Daniel Tosh]

Here's the problem when you have wildfires in California, California is so big that everybody reaches out to you. Oh my goodness, are you okay? Nobody ever understands how big certain areas are. Los Angeles isn't a town, it's just a throw up of the devil. You know, if you lived in North Carolina and a wildfire broke out in Delaware, you wouldn't call your friends in North Carolina, like, how are you guys doing? Are you okay from the Delaware fire? That's nowhere near us. You know the other thing that I found so terribly annoying during this is all the people's. Again, I'm sure I'm putting this on them. But the sincerity was in question with everyone reaching out. Oh, everyone's so worried. It's weird how everyone's so worried when normally everybody just loves to shit on California constantly, but now everybody's just heartbroken over what we're going through. I'm like, are you? Are you really heartbroken? You know, when the doors closed, no one's around, and you're pounding away on your keyboard about how fuck these liberals, blah, blah, blah. You're really heartbroken. Hate us. Cause you ain't us. Right? That's what Jerry said. You know, people would always say that about the Patriots when they were having their run. That's just how they are about California. You love to shit on us because we're the best, and we're the best by a mile. Now, you could argue and say, oh, it's not true. I wouldn't want those wildfires. Okay, where do you live? Tornado Ville. Hurricaneville. Everyone's got something. Yeah, but you ever have your Apple TV on and not watch something? Just. Just keep it paused for a while, and then it goes to a screensaver, and then all of a sudden, these beautiful images of our planet Earth come up. You want me to tell you something? Out of the 30 stock images that they have slow motion moving around, 50% of them are from the state of California.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah. You know why? Because it's beautiful. Because it's the prettiest place in the world. Rarely are they panning over some random town in Kentucky. There's no shot of the mall just outside of Arkansas. Just go through that screensaver. And if you can't find your hometown in there, know that there's a reason nobody wants to see the Ohio River. Oh, it's so beautiful. Look at the Ohio River. Everyone checked in. I can't believe what you've gone through. I'm like, first of all, you don't know what we've gone through. And second of all, I haven't gone through anything. If I haven't said this already, I'm good. I'm fine. We filmed an episode last week, the day that the fire started, and I remember calling the guys and I said, hey, you probably want to get out here early because the winds are picking up. And when the winds pick up, Edison, the power company, shuts off the electricity to be preventative for wildfires. So I was like, get out here early so that we can film. Now we pushed the issue up. We're shooting literally I'd say 30 minutes after we finished shooting the episode, boom, power went off. And then they drove home. And as they were driving home, I'm like, guys, you see that plume coming from the Palisades? And they're like, yeah, yeah. And they drove right by it. They filmed it. They're like, it's getting worse and worse. And sure as shit, that was it. That was our Tuesday. And I don't, you know, I'm not gonna get into conspiracies on what started the fire. You know, I don't know if it was climate change versus God. I don't know if it was some MAGA arsonist that couldn't figure out that his candidate won the election and was like, well, I still have these plans to destroy California, whoever it is, whether it was a fire that started six days before. Hey, maybe you blame our tone deaf governor who's really. Listen, he's going to fix this come hell or high water, because he's got an Olympics to put on. I don't care what it was. It happened and now there's destruction. And I also want to point out this. In 2018, the Wolseley fires, I was building my current home, near completion. We had investment property next door that housed all of our stuff. And the Wolseley fire came through and it burnt my house down. And it burnt down that neighbor's house that had all the stuff in it. So I've been through it, and my wife was seven months pregnant at the time, and it was just the worst thing in the world. But the point is, I've gone through it. It's horrific. And, you know, I'm not going to live in a state of depression for the next three to five years when I was fortunate for this particular fire. You know, what am I going to do? How is Malibu and Palazzo going to rebuild? Well, they're going to. Maybe you can't see it now, but it's going to happen. And I hear people when they say this, not everybody in Malibu is wealthy. Not everybody in the Pacific Palisades is wealthy. No. Okay, not everybody. Most of them. Not everybody. And a lot of people are hurting and they've lost, you know, everything. That's horribly tragic. I certainly know that if it were in other areas of Los Angeles, the numbers, you know, might be much higher and the coverage would be much less. You don't have as many celebrities living in Altadena as you do the Pacific Palisade. So I feel like they're not getting the equal coverage. But we care about you just as much. Well, maybe not as much as Steve Kerr's family home or J.J. redick's house, but you get it. I mean, okay. So anyway, it wasn't near us. And I'm like, it's the direction of the. Is okay for us. We don't need to leave. And I got a. I've got a generator at my house. You know, it's hooked up to a main gas line. They shut the gas off, and they've never done that before. And then the Internet went out and I'm like, whoa, this is bad. Now I've got to evacuate. I got a one year old. I can't live like that. I can't entertain a one year old. She already knows about technology. You want me to pretend like it's Little House on the Prairie? Mm. Mm. So we had to go. We. We headed out to Montecito. Oh, beautiful. Go to the Rosewood Miramar. Most expensive hotel. It won't even. It'll make you sick. And they were nice enough. And it's funny. Here's what I learned. During an evacuation, no hotel is allowed to turn away animals, dogs.

[Eddie]

That's interesting.

[Daniel Tosh]

Every hotel becomes pet friendly during an evacuation. Anyway, this place is pet friendly regardless. But everybody that was getting out of their car had two or three pets and a mother in law, and it was just hysterical. And nobody was packed properly. You know, they had a hamper filled with random toys, clothes piled up. All of the people. There are people from Calabasas and Malibu and the Palisades, and everybody's just in different states of shock. I immediately ran into Chandler Parsons there. He's got tequila screaming, 50, 50 coach if my house is gone. Made me laugh. I'm like, good. This is who I want to be with right now. I tell you what, though, evacuation life was good for Chandler. He's golfing every day. One day, he was with his daughter, and she was just sobbing, crying. I was with my daughter, happy as can be. And I say to his daughter, oh, would holding a bluey make you happier? My daughter has a stuffed bluey. She was holding it. And then my daughter just, without hesitation, just. Just hands it to his daughter. She immediately stops crying. And then. And then Chandler just leaves and takes it. I mean, I asked for it like the next day. I said, hey, how about that stuffed animal back? And I, you know, he's like, oh, yeah, I'll get that back to you. And that hasn't happened, by the way. One day, Chandler was. This was funny. He's like, hey, I'm going to bet the Chargers to beat the Texans. I go, don't do it. I can show it to you. I had text. I was like, don't. He's like, I'm doing it. And then I keep seeing him. I'm like, don't do it. He's like, no, no. They're going to easily beat them. I'm like, ugh. He's like, I'm putting 30k on it. I go, no, don't. Yeah. How'd that work? He left. He got kicked out of the hotel. He was tired of that place.

[Eddie]

He got kicked out.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, he thought his reservation was through, you know, one day, and it wasn't. They're like, you gotta move on. There's. But guess who. I guess who replaced him as basketball royalty entered the hotel. Dwayne Wade.

[Eddie]

Oh, wow.

[Katherine Legg]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

I didn't see his wife, which would have been a better sighting, but I went up to Dwayne again. I was with my daughter, and I said, hey, how are you, Dwayne? Hey, what's going on with this Butler situation? No, he didn't give me any insight on that. I do my normal thing. Hi, I'm comedian Daniel Tosh. I'm a fan of the Miami Heat. I have been since day one, 1988. Or is it 89? I don't fucking remember. You ready for this?

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Day two, after the fire, who do I run into? I'm standing in the lobby with Carl and I'm holding my daughter, waiting for a glass of whole milk, which, oddly, was hard to get from time to time. And who comes in with an assistant or somebody? Oprah Winfrey.

[Eddie]

Ooh.

[Daniel Tosh]

Royalty.

[Eddie]

Wow.

[Daniel Tosh]

The A list. Celebrity sighting of all comes walking. What does she do? Does she look at my beautiful daughter and give her a nod or a smile? Absolutely not. Looks at Carl, immediately gets excited. Just immediately, look at that dog. That's what she. She goes, look at that dog. Wow. I was like, look at that, Carl. Oprah.

[Eddie]

And he was ungroomed, right?

[Daniel Tosh]

He was horribly ungroomed. Oh, wow. If she would have saw him today, oh, man. Man. She would have been taken back. No, he was looking awful. He had a little dreads. Appropriating some culture. Whenever you're at these nice hotels, they love to tell you what celebrities have stayed there. And I'm always, like, not impressed because I'm like, well, of course they've stayed here. It's a nice hotel. Where else would they stay? Now I would be more interested in shitty hotels telling me what celebrities have Stayed there, you know. You're telling me. At this Fairfield Inn. Diplo stayed here. All right, that's interesting.

[Eddie]

That's great.

[Daniel Tosh]

Why do you think Diplo was there, huh, by the way, no thing I didn't do right by people. I've offered up our Tahoe house to anyone that needs to get away that we know. I mean, even people that don't really know, we kind of second hand know them. They need a place. I'm like, here when the time is right and you just want to get away for a week, a couple days, whatever, go on up. I'll have it opened up for you. But then we had a rental house immediately after our hotel stay. And, you know, we invited everyone. Any. Any families that needed to come. We had a big house. We only needed one room. We crammed in. I put. There's two closet areas in my room. So one kid got one of them, one got the other. And then the rest of the bedrooms we just divvied up to other families that needed it. Just really, you know, just generous.

[Eddie]

Mm.

[Daniel Tosh]

Poor Ava. My beautiful old, sweet, confused 15 year old dog. She doesn't do well when you bring her anywhere else. She just doesn't understand where she is. And when we got to the rental house, you know, this lady is showing me around how to use stuff. I'm pretending to listen. Here's how you turn the jacuzzi on. I can never figure it out. Anyway, she leaves. I happen to be walking outside, and I watched Ava quickly just walk right into the pool. And then when she walked into the pool, she didn't even attempt to swim, didn't kick her legs, just started sinking to the bottom. Jesus swear, just started sinking straight to the bottom. I reach my arm and I grab her by an ear and slowly pull her up and get her out, dry her off. And I'm like, hey, honey, let's not kill yourself right now. But I had a. You know, because of all the travel and not being groomed, she got matted. And I've had to shave her down. Oh, my goodness. Still cute. And she's doing good. Everybody says, no, no, no, she's still got. She's still got life in her. She's still enjoying things, you know? Remember when our vet friend was on and he said, you come up with a list of 10 things that they like and when they stop doing five of them, start having the conversation. She has stopped all 10. She eats and poops. That's the only time I can ever tell if she's got any joy left in her. But every now and then, there's just some life. I don't know. I don't know what to do with her, Matt. I love her, though. By the way, my wife's birthday is this coming weekend, and I've already reserved a hotel for us up in Montecito. And we're going to go. I have to act like it's like. No, no, it's not. It's different. It's your birthday. We're going to celebrate.

[Eddie]

We didn't just do this.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, I'm just going to pretend that we haven't just been in a hotel and a rental house and then Tahoe. Like, we've been at our house for two days this year. 2025, guys. Man, starting off strong.

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, brother. Speaking of wildfires and how long it takes to rebuild, you remember when Australia had those horrible wildfires?

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

I was working there right after those fires in 2019. It was right before the pandemic. And I remember people going, oh, I can't believe you're going. Like, the wildfires are too out of control. You should cancel. And I didn't. I went. And then I felt guilty because of the wildfires, and I, you know, donated all the money that I made to help, you know, rebuild. And now it's been four or so years and I haven't checked in. But I was watching the Australian Open this week, and I'm like, nobody even mentions it. Things look normal, things look good. I could be completely wrong. But the point is, in four years, things will be good or better, I hope. I can't even imagine how strong the economy is going to be when this new administration fixes everything. You'll be sitting on a fortune.

[Eddie]

Come out ahead.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, you're going to be coming out ahead. Let me tell you something else about Australia. When I was there, you want to know how bad those fires were? It rained while we were in Melbourne, and the fires were so bad that there was, like, dust, dirt, ash in the air that the rain was coming down. I shit you, not like mud. It was red. Ish, reddish. Like, I remember my wife's shoes were immediately ruined from walking outside in the rain. You couldn't wrap your head around that. And I just think, whoa, that's worse. If it was raining blood here in LA right now, I can imagine the news coverage.

[Eddie]

Yeah, this would be a different rain.

[Daniel Tosh]

Here's a little bit of my hostility toward the coverage. I understand some of it's informative, but a lot of it is just the world we live in now where everybody just like, look at the suffering, look what they're going through. And I'm just somebody. When my house burnt down and I came back, I would have appreciated more stories of like, look at this. This place made it. This place made it. When they say that 5,000 structures are damaged, that doesn't necessarily mean 5,000 homes. You know, that doesn't. It's not one for one. And, you know, I don't know how many homes survived in the Pacific Palisades, but I know homes did. The person that built my home twice, he bought me a little Honda pool drainer pump to fight fires. I got 200ft of 2 inch hose. I drop a line into my pool and I can, you know, stop any spot fires that come. And that's another thing that happens when they tell you to evacuate and some people refuse to evacuate, you're like, oh, but then they have to save you. Yes, you should listen to evacuations. But certain people that are capable of helping, you can't convince me that it's not beneficial. For instance, the guy that built my house lives in the Palisades, and sure shit, he had to evacuate. And then he snuck back in on foot around police, got up, back to his house, saw that his neighbor's house was on fire, put his pump in his pool, got their house out, drained his entire pool, went to his neighbor's house, drained their pool, just soaking everything, went to the next house, drained their pool, soaking the next two houses, saved four or five houses right there on a Palisades road, you know, by himself. I'm just letting you know, not everything is gone. People are like, oh, the whole town? No, there's some places that are okay. Not every place is completely deserted. And some of the places that are damaged, not the whole thing is damaged. And let me tell you something. Building in California is a nightmare. And guess what now? Oh, they're going to have to be more lenient and they're going to have to like, expedite all of these permits. And that's a good thing. People will, you know, they won't have to. It's not going to be the process that it is normally. When you try to build and everybody's got answers. I talk to people, I listen. You know, we're getting this entire system put in our home that changes the humidity by over 50% and fires will just go around it, like, all right, I'm going to buy a different house. Or what do you think? These people that hire private firefighters, jealous. If I could Bribe a truck to just park it out in front of my place when a fire was coming? I think it'd be great. Am I going to look into what it costs to get a private firefighter? No. No, I'm not. You know, I kept checking in on my house because if you watch the news, the looters. The looters are everywhere. Okay. You know who buys into that stuff? Remember my AV guy, John, that I interviewed on the show? Sure enough, he was checking in on my house constantly. And he's like, I got a gun on me. I'm like, what? That maniac's walking around with a gun? I'm like, if you shoot Rufina, I wonder what kind of gun he has. Lord knows he shouldn't have a gun. I just know that if there's a criminal with a gun and my AV guy with a gun, I'm putting all my money on the criminal. Although if I came to my house and he was just, like, shot in the leg or something like that, I would probably think that's the greatest thing that's ever happened.

[Eddie]

I bet that feel. Juvenating.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, that would be juvenating. That's John Juvenating. Yeah. And then you hear, oh, my goodness, we are using prisoners to fight the fire. And I'm like, they're the ones fighting the fire. Like, we got to use everybody. What are they in jail for? Violent sex crimes? No, apparently none of the crimes are violent. Any crime. It couldn't be a violent crime that they were in for that released them to fight fires. Well, I'll take them at their word. Thank everyone for doing their work. I filmed just around the corner from my house, just the hundreds and hundreds of fire trucks that are set up and where they're sleeping and going to the bathroom every day. And you're like, oh, man, this is. This isn't what I thought they signed up for. You know, when you think of a firefighter when you're a kid, you're like, look at this truck. And they're in there just making chili, hosing in their underwear for sexy calendars.

[Eddie]

Sure.

[Daniel Tosh]

And then you find out, no, no, you gotta. You gotta breathe awful fucking air for days and days and poop in these awful little toilets, guys. Anyway, I'm just so happy to be here and wanted to let you know that I'm doing great. My neighborhood is good. All of us that work on this show are fine and safe and haven't lost anything. So we're very fortunate and we'll help those that we can help. Okay, so stop being little bitches.

[Spectrum Business]

Life comes at you fast, which is why it's important to find some time to relax a little. You time Enter Chumba Casino. With no download required, you can jump on anytime, anywhere for the chance to redeem some serious prizes. So treat yourself with Chumba Casino and play over 100 online casino style games, all for free. Go to Chumbacasino.com to collect your free welcome bonus. Sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary. VGW Group Void where prohibited by law.

[Katherine Legg]

18 turns Jon Stewart is back at the Daily show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with the Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondence and contributors, and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Jon Stewart]

Ever wonder what it's like to be on the phone with an NFL general manager as you finalize the biggest contract in NFL history? I'm A.J. stephens, Vice President of Client Strategy at Athletes first, where we've negotiated $1.4 billion in current NFL quarterback contracts. Introducing the Athletes First Family Podcast, the Quarterback Series, along with my co host Brian Murphy, athlete's first CEO, we're pulling back the curtain on how these historic deals come together. You'll hear directly from the agents who shaped the NFL's financial landscape, the ones who negotiated Justin Herbert's extension and Deshaun Watson's fully guaranteed contract that sent shockwaves through the league. This isn't just about the numbers, though. It's about the untold stories behind these massive negotiations and the relationships to NFL superstars like Dak Prescott, Tua Tungavaliloa and Jordan Love have with their agents at Athletes First. For the first time ever, the agents who orchestrate these deals are sharing the details of the negotiations and everything that led up to their clients signing on the dotted line. Listen to the Athletes First Family podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Questlove]

Welcome. My name is Paola Pedrosa, a medium and the host of the Ghost Therapy Podcast, where it's not just about connecting with deceased loved ones, it's about learning through them and their new perspective. Join me on the Ghost Therapy Podcast Whoa.

[Daniel Tosh]

My lights in my living room just flickered.

[Questlove]

I'm a little Nervous. I'm excited. I'm excited. Nervous. You know, I'm a very spiritual person, so I'm like, I'm ready and open. That was amazing. I feel so grateful right now. I got to speak to my great grandmother, Abuela, and she gave me a lot of really good advice that I'm going to have to really think about.

[Paola Pedrosa]

Wow.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Questlove]

That's crazy. Yes, that is accurate. Listen to the Ghost Therapy podcast as part of the My Cultura Podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Daniel Tosh]

Paw show. Well, Carl, how have you enjoyed evacuation life? Do you like meeting Oprah? Well, he doesn't get impressed by celebrities. I love it. But he. He acts like he. I was like, whatever. Your hair looks great. What else? We plug our stand up. Got a new tour, gonna be through the Midwest. Carl, we're going to the Midwest. We're gonna be in Minneapolis. We're gonna be in Omaha. We're being in Kansas City. None of these interest you? What about Madison, Wisconsin? What about Milwaukee? What about Chi Town? You falling asleep for real? All right. Eddie's gonna be with us. You know what? I think every city, we should audition them to be our new home in case California burns completely. If I had to pick one of those cities to live in, it would be Minneapolis. You know, I love it. I've always loved it. I have good memories there as a young comedian. All right, time for the free plug. Hit the free plug Music. I don't think you should have played music that was gonna put Carl to sleep. Deeper somber. All right, our free plug. It should be. You know, our free plug should be. It should be the Red Cross. If you want to donate to help the wildfire victims of the Pacific Palisades and any other areas that were affected. Southern California. All of Southern California. Let's not just. Just pick the Palisades because they're closer to us. But that's not our free plug. Our real free plug. It's Girl Scout cookie time, guys. Yep, that's right. This week's free plug. Girl Scout cookies. They're not a sponsor, nor should they be. This is about getting guilt tripped into buying four boxes. How many boxes do you guys buy when they. When you. When you're forced to.

[Eddie]

Always four.

[Daniel Tosh]

Always four.

[Eddie]

Give them 20 bucks.

[Daniel Tosh]

I do two boxes of Thin Mints, and then you have to put them in the freezer. They taste. First of all, these cookies don't taste good. None of them are good. They're all fine. Oh, my favorite is Samoas, okay? Because that's the one that tastes the most like candy. The least like a cookie. Are you even allowed to say Samoas anymore? I don't know. I'm sure under this current administration, you have to say it. I like the trefoils. Is that how you pronounce it? I don't even know. That's just the shortbread ones. Whatever. They're all garbage, but they help. But we should do it. We should buy them. But you know what I don't like, though? They used to go door to door, and now it's like they set up outside of a grocery store, they come to your office, and they just hit everybody. They're barely doing any of the legwork anymore. Remember Bill? Bill used to. At Tosh Point zero, this guy used to come in his daughter, and he would just. She wouldn't even come in. He just would pass the paper around. We'd all have to sign it or we were shamed. And then the cookies would come, and she wouldn't even come. He would just, here's your cookies. Sometimes he wouldn't even bring the cookies. He'd forget. It's like, oh, yeah, I forgot about that. You guys ordered a bunch, didn't you? Ugh. Do you have to pay when you receive the cookies?

[Eddie]

I think that's.

[Daniel Tosh]

I mean, nowadays. Nowadays you just go there at the grocery store and you outside and they've got the boxes. You buy it, you get the cookies. So that's a. You know, back in my day, you know, a little girl knocked on your door. You know, you'd get so excited, like, who's this little smoke show? I was a child, too. I'm talking about when I was, like, 15 years old. And then I'm like, hey, what's up? You know, you tell her how you were kicked out of the Boy Scouts for eating brownies. It was always a fun time anyway. You know, you would just fill out the paperwork, and then, you know, two seasons would go by, and then all of a sudden, one day, cookies would show up. Yeah, they're all shit cookies. Let's be clear. They always. They always try to take cookies off the roster and add new ones, but none of them work. The money raised, though, goes to local councils. Financial aid for those who can't afford it. Troops. What else? I don't understand what that goes to. Basically just goes to Girl Scouts.

[Eddie]

Yeah. And baking and distribution.

[Daniel Tosh]

All right. Caramel chocolate chip. That's a flavor. Flavor. Caramel delights. Those are the Samoas. Peanut butter sandwich. Do Si Dos Girl Scout s'mores. Those are gonna be discontinued after this year. Lemonades. Don't know what that is. Lemon ups. What? Peanut butter patties or Tagalons? Thin Mints. Toastie A. Those are gone after this year, so. And Toffee Tastic. Okay, Girl Scouts, get it together. I don't. Am I gonna let my daughter be a Girl Scout? You better believe it. Okay, she's an American, and that's the American way. We'll see you next week, hopefully.

[Katherine Legg]

Jon Stewart is back at the Daily show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with the Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors, and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Daniel Tosh]

The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers.

[Spectrum Business]

So that's why we created the Big Take from Bloomberg podcast to give you the context you need to make sense of it all.

[Daniel Tosh]

Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters.

[Spectrum Business]

You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine.

[Daniel Tosh]

A lot of this meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow the Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.

[A.J. Stephens]

People, My people, what's up? This is Questlove, man. I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season. Of course. Love supreme, man. We've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to Amari, Johnny Marr, Eve, Jonathan Schecter, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You gotta check them out. Listen to QuestLove supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

[Jon Stewart]

$1.4 billion in NFL quarterback contracts. The untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history. I'm AJ Stephens, Vice president of client strategy at Athletes first, introducing the Athletes first family podcast, the Quarterback series. My co host, Brian Murphy, Athletes first CEO, and I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts for Justin Herbert, Deshaun Watson, Dak Prescott, Tua Tugovailoa and Jordan Love listen to athletes first family podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.