My Local Tennis Pro - Trey Waltke

Summary

Tosh Show Podcast: "My Local Tennis Pro - Trey Waltke"

Host: Daniel Tosh
Guest: Trey Waltke (Former Tennis Pro, GM Malibu Racquet Club)
Release Date: March 3, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode brings tennis front and center with guest Trey Waltke, a former professional player with lifetime matches against the likes of John McEnroe and Jimmy Connors. Trey, now the GM of the Malibu Racquet Club, joins Daniel Tosh for a freewheeling, hilarious and insightful conversation about the old-school pro tennis tour, legendary matches, celebrity encounters, club culture, and the evolution of tennis. With candid stories, plenty of sarcasm, and a lot of love for the sport, this episode is a treat for tennis buffs and comedy fans alike.

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Main Themes and Purposes

• A behind-the-scenes look at a pro tennis career in the 1970s and 80s
• Comparisons between tennis generations and thoughts on the modern game
• Life after pro sports: business ventures and club management
• Insider tales from tennis legends and celebrity circles
• The evolving culture of the tennis club, Malibu life, and the pickleball invasion
• Parenting, tennis development for kids, and Daniel's comedic takes throughout

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Detailed Breakdown & Key Moments

1. Tennis Fandom & The Indian Wells Excitement

Timestamp: 03:54–06:26

• Daniel, self-professed tennis superfan, prefers watching to playing:
  “I'm a huge tennis fan. I don't really care about playing. I just like to watch.” (06:29 – Daniel Tosh)
• Eagerly anticipates the Indian Wells Tournament, discusses player drama, and his hope that Ben Shelton and Coco Gauff will carry the American flag:
  “Ben and Coco. All Americans at the Indian Wells.” (05:31)

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2. Trey's Tennis Origins in St. Louis

Timestamp: 07:17–09:31

• Both Daniel and Trey have St. Louis roots; Trey explains how the city was a tennis hotbed in the 1960s, rivaling LA.
  “Back in the 60s, the two biggest towns that had the best players in them nationally ranked were Los Angeles and St. Louis.” (08:45 – Trey Waltke)
• Trey played against Jimmy Connors’ mother as a junior:
  “I used to play against his mother when I was 11 and 12. And then he'd actually play against my father.” (09:09)

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3. Early Independence & Turning Pro

Timestamp: 09:33–11:17

• Trey left home at 17 for LA to train; describes adulting early:
  “I'd also gone to tournaments by myself since I was 12… balance my checkbook, have travelers checks, go out for dinners.” (10:14 – Trey)
• Attended Cal, turned pro at 19 after freshman year:
  “After my freshman year at Cal, I turned pro. So I was 19… that was 74.” (10:52 – Trey)
• Daniel marvels at 70s “extracurriculars”: “Talk about the cocaine.” “That's what I can't.” (11:17 – Trey, wryly)

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4. Pro Tennis on the 70s Circuit: Realities and Rivalries

Timestamp: 11:36–14:26; 17:30–21:27

• Life on tour: day-to-day travel, booking hotels “day by day”, scraping by, and wild social experiences.
• Small number of competitors:
  “There was probably 250 people trying to earn a living playing tennis.” (11:36 – Trey)
• Parental support rare: “My dad would go to one tournament a year to watch me play when I was a pro. My mom saw me play once.” (13:07 – Trey)
• Coaching taboo then, now open:
  “We never had coaches in our day… Borg did that.” (13:34 – Trey)

Memorable Quote:

“One year at the US Open… as we're switching sides, [McEnroe] gets right in my face like this, and he goes, ‘fuck you.’” (18:09 – Trey Waltke)

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5. The McEnroe Encounters & Trash Talk

Timestamp: 17:30–19:41

• Trey was 2–2 lifetime vs. John McEnroe; describes the match-up:
  “His lefty serve went to my best shot, which was actually a high backhand.” (17:32 – Trey)
• Tells of McEnroe’s in-match verbal abuse and post-point antics.

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6. Old School Party Culture & Tennis Legends

Timestamp: 25:40–27:34

• The 1970s and early 80s as “the party era” in tennis, with superstar Vitus Gerulaitis as king of the scene:
  “He had enough means to purchase some of the things that we partaked in in those days…” (25:55 – Trey)
• Annual pre-Wimbledon party—even got busted by London police.

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7. Tennis, O.J. Simpson, and Celebrity Tales

Timestamp: 26:50–27:33; 51:33–52:53

• O.J. Simpson played tennis in 70s LA and attended many parties with pro athletes.
• Celebrities in the tennis world: Johnny Carson partnered with Trey in doubles; Robert Duvall and Gavin Rossdale flagged as surprisingly talented celebrity players.

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8. Debating Tennis Eras: Then vs. Now

Timestamp: 27:35–28:38; 29:18–32:36

• Daniel and Trey debate the quality gap between generations.
  “Do I think that Sinner's much better than Federer? Nadal? No.” (27:54 – Trey)
• The role of equipment and physicality:
  “The guys now are much taller than my generation was.” (28:07 – Trey)

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9. Current Tennis, Favorites, and Mount Rushmore

Timestamp: 30:26–33:15

• Trey’s favorite modern player: Carlos Alcaraz.
• Federer and Nadal also top his list; honors Pancho Gonzalez and Steffi Graf in his personal tennis “Mount Rushmore”.
• Daniel dislikes watching “the Ovas” (female Eastern European players), roots patriotically for Coco Gauff.

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10. Pro Life Realities: Money, Rankings, and Legacy

Timestamp: 22:09–24:32

• 1980 best year:
  “That year I think I grossed like 98,000… if I was ranked 41 now… maybe a million and a half.” (22:29–22:41 – Trey)
• Not fully content, wishes he’d cracked the Top 20:
  “I was like a dangerous floater on the tour… I'd beat the top guys and lose to you the next round.” (23:19–23:37)

Memorable Quote:

“I wrote an article about that because I used to get asked, 'what's your ranking?' and I go, ‘41’. They go, ‘Oh, it’s too bad.’ …Well, what's your doctor ranked?” (24:09 – Trey)

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11. Tennis Club Life & Malibu Racket Club

Timestamp: 38:28–45:00

• Trey’s journey from pro to GM: serendipitous meeting with Larry Ellison led to the job.
• Refurbished the club to resemble Nobu, now an upscale spot with a long waitlist.
  “Our boss owns [Indian Wells], too. …Been there every year since '74.” (25:24; 35:31)
• Membership details: $12k–$16k initiation, $400–$450/month, 3-year waitlist.
• Prohibits pickleball:
  “It's just frickin tiddlywinks to me. It's just like plink, plink, plink. …I've played it. I get it. …We're tennis only.” (37:35 – Trey)

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12. Parenting, Tennis Lessons, and the Next Generation

Timestamp: 47:05–48:41

• Daniel’s son is learning tennis; Trey’s advice:
  “Perfect age to start. …All you can hope for is that he likes it enough to play it in high school, because I think it keeps him out of a lot of trouble.” (47:13–47:36 – Trey)
• Firm on not overpraising kids:
  “Don't over praise him, though… don't. Sends a bad message.” (48:17–48:22)

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13. Gifts and Comic Banter

Timestamp: 48:46–51:16

• Exchange of club gear, tennis books, and a “money tree” from Tosh’s agent (“a witch”).
• Daniel jokes about tennis celebrities who are “painfully bad” at the game.

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14. Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On the meaning of Top 40 in the world:

  “So I'm saying 41st in the world at something is pretty remarkable.” (24:05 – Daniel Tosh)

• On the notorious tennis party scene:

  “So, you know, let's just do it. So one year we had a phenomenal. And everyone showed up. It was just great. And the cops busted us, too...” (26:36 – Trey)

• On Malibu club moms:

  “These moms are so assertive these days.” (45:36 – Trey, tongue-in-cheek, re: pros dating members' wives)

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15. Sarcasm, Irreverence & Standout Humor

• On Daniel’s club membership angst:

  “I'm going to go out on the court with a can of spray paint and just show them how easy it is to turn one tennis court into four pickleball courts.” (53:04 – Daniel Tosh, trolling)

• Unfiltered riffing about circumcision, hipsters, and “who’s traumatized by seeing a penis” in recurring segment “They love me, they love me not.” (54:25–56:47)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Indian Wells and Djokovic banter: 05:09–06:26
• Trey’s start in St. Louis tennis: 07:17–09:31
• Early days, turning pro: 09:33–11:17
• Life on tour, parents’ support: 11:36–13:07
• McEnroe confrontations: 18:09–19:03
• On the party scene: 25:40–26:49
• Club management, Malibu Racquet Club evolution: 38:28–45:00
• Membership info and club culture: 43:14–44:11
• Parenting, tennis for kids: 47:05–48:41

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Conclusion

In this lively and layered episode, Daniel Tosh explores the glamour, grit, and absurdity of pro tennis and exclusive club life with Trey Waltke. Between gritty 1970s tour stories, sardonic rants about modern tennis stars, and insider comedy about club drama, listeners get a rare crossover between the stand-up stage and the tennis court. Trey’s blend of humility, candor, and old-school cool pairs perfectly with Daniel’s irreverent humor for an episode that’s as informative as it is fun, whether you know your backhands from your backflips—or just enjoy a world-class riff.

Standout Quote:

“I beat the top guys and lose to you the next round. Okay. So I wish I had been a lot more consistent, that's all.” (23:37 – Trey Waltke)

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Listen if you:

• Love tennis nostalgia and inside stories
• Wonder what club life is like in Malibu
• Want to laugh at tennis pros, club rivalries, and Daniel’s parenting anxieties
• Are curious about the transition from sports to business
• Appreciate honest, hilarious looks behind the velvet curtain of elite sports and LA culture.

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Transcript

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[B]

Were you allowed to smoke during crossovers

[A]

back in your day?

[D]

Yes. You are.

[A]

You were.

[D]

Of course you were. Yeah.

[E]

That's great. I love it.

[B]

Did you smoke?

[D]

Never. No.

[A]

Okay. Tosh show. Tosh show. Tosh show. From show. Welcome to Tosh Show. I'm Daniel Tosh. Eddie, are you here?

[E]

I'm here, Eddie.

[A]

How long you been married?

[E]

21 years.

[A]

21 years.

[E]

Yep.

[A]

That's the big one.

[E]

That is the big one. We can drink.

[A]

21.

[E]

21 years.

[A]

You buy her something for your anniversary Every year.

[E]

Usually go to dinner. That's about it.

[A]

That's it? Just dinner?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Dinner is usually my move. But this year, my wife, she wanted something. She's like, why don't we go back to Italy?

[E]

Okay.

[A]

And I just went, oh, it's just. Just the worst. And now we're going to do it.

[D]

Dinner in Italy.

[A]

We're going to have dinner in Italy.

[E]

Holy smokes.

[A]

But we're bringing the whole crew.

[E]

Oh, that's great.

[A]

Everyone. The kids, the in laws.

[E]

Bro, I got to tell you, man, you travel thick. It is like you just.

[A]

It's so bad. It's so. It's going to be so bad if

[B]

you have social anxiety.

[A]

And then it's like, oh, how about this? How about we bring you to a foreign country and you have little kids and you have in laws that don't and just chaos and let's just see how you handle it. The good news is if I keep doing things like this for our anniversary, eventually we'll get divorced and I won't have to worry about it anymore.

[E]

You'll be done.

[A]

I'll be done. Oh, it's not good. We're before that, before the anniversary. Don't ask me when my wedding anniversary is. I never know. I usually get the month wrong.

[D]

I think it's April.

[A]

It is in April, but sometimes I think it's in March. Regardless, we're going to Aspen.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

We are coming up. I think there's tickets available, and we're going. You're going to ski. I'm going to snowboard.

[D]

Right.

[A]

Our wives are going to ride.

[E]

Yep.

[A]

It's terrifying because we had such a scary year this past season in Tahoe. Avalanches, people getting killed at the ski resorts. It turns out it's a dangerous sport.

[E]

It is.

[A]

I don't feel like we do it the dangerous way.

[E]

Oh, I certainly don't.

[A]

I mean, I guess somebody could still come plowing into us at 100 miles an hour.

[D]

Right.

[A]

I worry about my kids.

[E]

Yep.

[A]

You know, they go out of control,

[B]

but I just also assume that they're

[A]

rubber and they'll bounce back, and they usually do. People. You know, everybody was in my. My. My circle was like, oh, man, what happened in Tahoe? And I'm like, oh, I don't know. I know that where they were skiing, there was two ways to come back, and one way is the long way, and then one way is the short way and dangerous way. And they went the short and dangerous way.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And I know that if I was in that group, I would be like, yeah, let's do the short way.

[D]

Right.

[A]

I'm never somebody that votes, well, the long way is safer, but. Yeah, but the short way is shorter. There's a heat game coming on, so I would have. I would have been with them. The backwoods skiing I like to do is, like, when I come out of the woods, I'd like to hit the Ritz Carlton. I tell you what my favorite pastime is, is still. Is watching people play tennis at almost all levels. Like, watching my son play tennis, I just enjoy it. Watching professionals play, I enjoy it. I'm heading up to Palm Springs. You know, they got the Indian Wells Tournament, which isn't called the Indian Wells Tournament, even though it's still in Indian Wells and the area is still called Indian Wells. They haven't changed the name, so I guess it's okay to say that, but it's. I think it was BNP Parvis, but that. That name is stupid.

[D]

Very stupid.

[A]

I think it's. I think it's a French bank. It's like, we're not going to say that. We're going to call it Indian Wells, but now I'm that guy that refused. But it is what the name of the city is. So, you know, it's just more of a Palm Springs getaway. You get sick and tired of the winter season here in Southern California. We're where it's 71, and you want to get back to 82, so you

[E]

got to make the trip.

[A]

So you drive for two hours and you get to 82. Now I can't. I can't wait to get up there and watch. Is Djokovic going to be in the tournament this year? Djokovic is confirmed. Oh, that's good. You know who Djokovic walks like at? Sean Penn character? Just Colonel Lockjaw. Colonel Lockjaw. You know who I want to win at all, right?

[D]

Who?

[A]

Ben Shelton. I want my boy Ben to win it. Ben and Coco. All Americans at the Indian Wells. You know what you got to be careful of when you're over there at the tournament in Indian Wells is some of the players go undercover shooting some, like, comedy bits where they, like, pretend to be, like, just somebody working the gates or something. Next thing you know, you're on a prank show. You prank me, sinner. I won't sign the release today. I'm in my element. I get to talk to a tennis pro. You know, he's gonna be annoyed, but I'm gonna be in heaven. Enjoy. My guest today spends most of his time watching tennis balls go back and forth like a golden retriever. He's a former tennis pro who for the past 20 years, has been the GM of the picturesque Malibu Racket club. Please welcome to the Tosh center court. Trey. Trey.

[D]

Yes, sir. Hello there.

[B]

Thank you for being here.

[D]

Great to be here.

[B]

I'm a huge tennis fan. I don't really care about playing. I just like to watch.

[D]

But you did play as a junior or.

[B]

No, no, I think. I don't know if this is true or not. I don't think I've ever played tennis against someone that I don't know.

[D]

Oh, okay. So no tournaments, obviously, right?

[B]

No, no. I've only played against friends and family that play well, you know, And I'm not good, but I can, you know, I can certain.

[D]

Did you had lessons growing up?

[A]

No. Nah.

[B]

Maybe one class in college, I took a tennis class just because I had to take something.

[D]

Okay, all right.

[A]

That's the extent.

[D]

I just.

[B]

I'm fascinated with tennis. I follow tennis. Whatever. I'd prefer watching tennis than half the

[A]

sports that I enjoy playing.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Do you believe in ghost?

[D]

No. Do not.

[A]

Okay. You got your start at a young age. You grew up in St. Louis.

[D]

Exactly.

[B]

I also grew up in St. Louis.

[D]

Well, that's interesting.

[B]

Well, my parents moved a lot. My father Was born and raised in St. Louis. His father, born and raised in St. Louis. The art of pastry. They had a donut shop.

[D]

Where was it?

[B]

They had two locations, and I don't know that they did very well.

[D]

Well, you know the question everybody asks when you go to St. Louis is what high school did you go to?

[B]

Okay, well, my sister went to Lindbergh High School.

[D]

I went to Lindbergh. Okay.

[A]

Where'd you go?

[D]

I went to what's now called micds, which is. Which is country day school.

[A]

This is private.

[D]

It's a private. Yeah, I know, I know. I'm sorry.

[B]

No, no, don't apologize for doing well.

[D]

My grandfather was doing well.

[A]

Your grandfather was doing well?

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

It doesn't help. Tennis has always been kind of an elitist sport. I mean, honestly, it wasn't till the Williams sisters kind of bucked that trend.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Have you ever been up the Arch?

[D]

Never.

[B]

Me neither.

[D]

No. No desire?

[B]

My parents wouldn't let me or didn't have the money. I don't know what it was.

[A]

I have no idea.

[D]

I thought it was free.

[B]

I don't think it's free. I think it's like five bucks. No, we were the family that parked by the arch for Cardinals games, and then we would. And looked up and then we climbed to the top of the Busch Stadium, sit in the $5 seats for the games. Anyway, so you grew up in St. Louis. By the age of 17, you were the top tennis player in the city.

[A]

No offense to St. Louis in the early.

[B]

What is being the top tennis player in St. Louis?

[D]

Let me just explain this a little bit. Back in the 60s, the two biggest towns that had the best players in them nationally ranked were Los Angeles and St. Louis. We had probably, I don't know, 20 nationally ranked players growing up at that time.

[A]

Stick that.

[D]

A lot of them went on to have really great, great pro careers. A guy named Chuck McKinley won Wimbledon in 1962. Butch Buchholz was one of the top five pros in the world around those times. Jimmy Connors is from there. I used to play against his mother when I was 11 and 12. And then he'd actually play against my father. Next to us is this indoor facilities. There was actually an indoor armory, which is where all of us played in the 60s. So it had, like, the wooden floor, and that was the only indoor place. So all of us were there and it was just. It was great. Loved it.

[A]

That's pretty amazing, huh?

[B]

Okay, so now, when you were 17 years old, your parents allowed you to move across the country.

[D]

It's whack because. But. But it really is. It is, but I went to senior year of high school here in. Here in la. I drove out here in my. In my Chevrolet Vega. And then I was able to practice. Practice with UCLA team.

[B]

By yourself?

[D]

By myself.

[B]

Were you terrified?

[D]

No, I loved it. I mean, it was so fun. Plus, I knew a lot of people here anyway from, like, the tennis circuit.

[B]

Where did you live?

[D]

I lived in this apartment next to Ships in Westwood, which is, like, right there on Wilshire Boulevard.

[B]

Did you pay your own bills?

[D]

Well, I mean, it was 140 bucks a month.

[B]

I'm not saying that it was expensive, but did you know how to do. I didn't know how to do anything at 17 years old.

[D]

I mean, I'd also gone. Gone to tournaments by myself since I was 12. So I knew how to balance my checkbook and have travelers checks and go out for dinners and. That's crazy stuff like that. Yeah, that's great. Isn't that nuts?

[A]

No, I think it's.

[B]

It's impressive.

[D]

I made it. I made it out.

[B]

Did your parents love you? Were they.

[D]

I'm not sure. Yeah, I think they were.

[B]

Did you have siblings?

[D]

I had two siblings, two sisters who stayed in St. Louis. My mother didn't really want me to go to la. My father said, if you're gonna get any better, you gotta go out there. Cause that's where all the good players are.

[B]

Is that true?

[D]

Well, I mean, a lot of people moved out here because of tennis.

[B]

When did you turn pro as a tennis player?

[D]

After my freshman year at Cal, I turned pro. So I was 19 back in. That was 74.

[B]

Did you love Berkeley?

[D]

No, no, no. Because I was rarely going to school anyway. I was always practicing after school, doing a lot of extracurricular things, as we all did in those days. And I liked the Bay Area. But school, no, I wasn't a Berkeley school guy.

[B]

Talk about the cocaine.

[D]

That's what I can't.

[A]

All right.

[D]

Bingo. Yeah, that was the seventies, you know.

[A]

Sure. No one's judging. You lived your life, man. You lived it. So you became a pro, traveling the world.

[B]

What kind of life was that?

[A]

Like?

[D]

Okay, so we're talking 74. I turned pro. And I was able to get in tournaments fairly quickly then because like. Like the rankings in those days weren't quite as full as they are now. There was probably 250 people trying to earn. Earn a living playing tennis. So because I had a pretty good college career, I was given wild cards to a couple Tournaments I did well and so I started traveling and I just did my own, you know, once plane reservations and all that kind of stuff. And I went over to, over to Europe for the first time.

[B]

When you are in a tournament and a tournament is. Did you have to do the qualifyings or were you just like in the

[D]

main draw at the beginning? Mostly the qualifying. The occasional main draw, yeah.

[B]

Did you book your hotel like oh, for X amount of time or did

[A]

you do it day by day?

[D]

It's a day by day because I mean if I lost, I'm out of there.

[B]

Was it year round? Were there tournaments year round or not really?

[D]

Pretty much year round except for December and that was off. Yeah.

[B]

Did it give you a different perspective on the world? Traveling?

[D]

100%. Yeah. I mean traveling when you're, you know, from ages, actually from ages 12 on. I mean I went to almost every state from ages 12 to 18. So I got to see stuff that I would have never been able to see. And I mean a lot of it was fantastic. A lot of it was reality, you know, eye opening stuff. I mean I stayed in some flea bitten hotels along the way and stay in some great places too. So, you know, I mean I, I'm really glad for it. I really am.

[B]

Did your parents ever come to see you at, at an open?

[D]

Rarely. My dad would go to one tournament a year to watch me play when I was a pro. My mom saw me play once and it was in team tennis and it was the best set I ever played in my life.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, so I mean they, they never were in like your box set at. Did you get a box back then?

[D]

No, we didn't get a box. No. No, we didn't have trainers or coaches or manicurists or you know. No, we just, we just played.

[B]

I love that coaches are allowed to coach during games now.

[D]

I don't mind it. I don't mind it.

[B]

Well, I wouldn't always like regardless.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And we never had coaches in our

[A]

day so you didn't have coaches.

[D]

Borg did that.

[A]

Was it just Bjork.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

What a sexy guy he was too.

[A]

We'll be right back. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar, our exclusive snack, hydration and coffee sponsor. IQ Bar Protein Bars, IQ IQ Mix Hydration mixes and IQ Joe Mushroom Coffees. Low sugar Brain and body fuel you need to win your day. With over 20,000 5 star reviews and counting, more people than ever are fueling their busy lifestyles with IQ Bars, Brain and Body Boosting Bars, Hydration mixes and Mushroom coffees. Their Ultimate Sampler Pack includes all three. Have you guys tried this? What flavor you like? Chocolate.

[D]

Chocolate.

[A]

Chocolate. That's your favorite?

[D]

Yeah. I'm a simple man.

[A]

And right now, IQ Bar is offering our special podcast listeners 20% off all IQ Bar products, including the Ultimate Sampler Pack, plus free shipping. To get your 20% off, text TOSH to 64,000. That's TOSH to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply. See Terms for details. You guys know that shopping for clothes is not my thing. My wife buys the kids clothes, my own clothes. Carrie buys it. But if you don't have a full time personal stylist at your disposal and you still want someone to tell you what to wear, it's time for you to try Stitch Fix. If you're tired of wasting time trying to figure out your style, Stitch Fix has you covered. You just take a quick style quiz, share your size, your vibe and your budget, and you're matched with a real human stylist who handles the rest. Oh, wow. They send you a fix box with your clothes that actually fit. You look great. You don't even have to think about it. It's no risk. All style, try it all in the comfort of your own home. Keep what works and send back the rest with free shipping and returns. I know what you're thinking and no, there's no subscription required. I think every guy in here except for me could really benefit from giving this a try. Get started [e-mail] tosh to get $20 off your first order and they'll waive your styling fee. That's stitch fix.com tosh did you know? Fast Growing Trees is America's largest and most trusted online nursery with thousands of trees and plants and over 2 million happy customers. They have all the plants your yard or home needs, including fruit trees, privacy trees, flowering trees, shrubs and houseplants. All grown with care and guaranteed to arrive healthy. It's like your local nursery, but anywhere. You live with more plants than you'll find anywhere. Whatever you're looking for, Fast Growing Trees helps you find options that actually work for your climate, space and lifestyle. Fast Growing Trees makes it easy to get your dream yard. Just click, order, grow and get healthy, thriving plants delivered to your door. Right now, they have great deals on spring planting essentials, up to half off on selected plants, and listeners to our show get 20% off their first purchase when using the code Tosh at checkout. That's an additional 20% off. Better plants and better growing at fastgrowingtrees.com using code TOSH at checkout fastgrowingtrees.com code TOSH now's the perfect time to plant. Let's grow together. Use Tosh to save today. Offers valid for limited time. Terms and conditions may apply to show you played against some of tennis's biggest names. Yvonne Lendle, Jimmy Connors, McEnroe lifetime. You were two and two against John McEnroe.

[B]

Was there something about your game that made you a tough matchup?

[D]

That's an interesting question. I think there was, and we're still kind of golf buddies, so I may not. I may not tip my hat here, but. But his lefty serve went to my best shot, which was actually a high backhand. And so if I could zing it low to his volley, then maybe he had to hit up on his first volley. A lot of guys didn't have this one like I did, and so I think it helped me break his serve occasionally. I mean, you know, he also beat me like a fricking drum twice as well, but if you could just get into the point with him, then I had a decent chance to win the point.

[B]

Did he ever yell at you the.

[A]

In a match?

[D]

The worst one ever. So one year at the US Open, I was up two sets to one, and as we're switching sides, he gets right in my face like this, and he goes, fuck you.

[E]

Fuck you.

[D]

Fuck you. Like this in my face.

[A]

Good.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

[B]

If someone did that today, I mean, heaven forbid, if Coco Gauff did that today, she would lose sponsorships.

[D]

I don't know what. I don't know what, John.

[B]

We just embrace it.

[A]

Like, oh, what a good feather in your cap to have.

[D]

You know what's actually funny about that match is that. Is that at the same match, I had some fan who I didn't know, like, sitting in the front row. He kept clapping for me all the time. And so McEnroe was irked with the guy. Every time Mac would go by, he would take sawdust out of his pocket and go and go like that in the guy's face. So I found out after the match that the guy sued McEnroe and named me in the suit. It's a whole long thing. Yeah, the whole deal.

[B]

Did he pay some money?

[D]

I have no idea. Whatever happened, I didn't ask him.

[B]

I've sat courtside a few times. I do start talking.

[D]

I can't stop it.

[B]

I start chirping.

[D]

Because you're right there in the reaction.

[B]

You're right next to them. And it's like if Sisypas wants to take a 12 minute bathroom break, I start.

[D]

I hate that. Yeah. Oh, I know.

[B]

Letting him have it.

[D]

I know. Good.

[B]

You know, Djokovic and I just, I'm not a fan. I don't like the Joker. I like to let him know that he's not liked. I don't get why you get this blanket of respect that we can't chatter. Thank goodness for the US Open. And quite honestly, there's no scenario where any tennis player couldn't play through almost all of it.

[D]

They should be able to, I think. I mean, I like Joker, but I mean, I know a lot of people who go. Who go. I don't like Djokovic. You know, I'm just a Federer fan or just like a Nadal fan. So I said, I get that. But I said I do respect him. And also he speaks well after his matches and so I think he could be a statesman after he stops playing. So I like that part about him. Am I excited watching him play? No. He's like a fantastic metronome. I mean, he's great at what he does.

[B]

Well, he looks like there's a stick up his ass when he's returning. Yeah. He's got that stupid posture. Don't do that angle. Like, know what you look like. Know that that irritates people when you're just like, mm. And then the way your head, the hair, everything is.

[D]

He kind of has that little, that little twitch in his head.

[B]

Looks like he looks like a Ken doll that you've squished the side of the face a bit.

[D]

I like that.

[A]

It bothers me.

[D]

Good. I like that.

[B]

I get very opinionated. Was there a pro that you despised

[D]

during your run who didn't I care for? I mean, a lot of people around my ranking, I didn't care for them that much because I actually played them a lot. So I can't think of anyone off the top of my head who you would know. But as far as the top guys, I mean, I played them all and whenever you played against them, it was total war. Nobody liked each other in those days. You know what I mean? I wasn't hugging Connors after the match like they all do now, so I didn't really hate somebody particularly.

[B]

Were the top guys that much better? Did you know that, like, they've got something that I can't get to or is that not the case?

[D]

Well, I think that they just. If my highest ranking was like, was. Was actually 41 and then these guys were always in the top five. The difference between me and those guys was actually consistency and also size. I mean, I'm not, I'm not 6 8, I'm 4 2. So it was harder to hold my serve than like Lindell, you know. And so I think that they had certain advantages physically that at least, at least, you know, for me they did.

[B]

You dressed up to be silly at Wimbledon.

[D]

Yeah, I did something like that, yeah.

[B]

Just to be funny, you wore pants.

[D]

Well, I was a pants historian, Right. So we had every single world tennis magazine from 1948 on. So I used to comb through those and I like the old style a little bit. It was my last few months on the tour. It was Wimbledon. I figured, I'm not gonna win the thing. Let's just dress up as like an old time player. So I did it and I beat Stan Smith in the first round. I lost Elendil in the second. Got a lot of PR for it. I was in Time magazine and I got fan mail from like 80 year old men about it. So, you know, I appreciate it. It worked out okay. Yeah, right.

[B]

What was your deepest run in a major?

[D]

Third round US Open a few times.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Third round Wimbledon a few times.

[A]

Uh huh.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Is that a Saturday or Sunday match?

[D]

I don't remember. I don't know.

[B]

Remember what day you were at playing?

[D]

I don't know the day.

[B]

It was a big deal, bigger crowd on the weekend.

[A]

In 1980, you were 27 and 22. Your best season as a pro.

[B]

What was the money like that year?

[D]

That year I think I grossed like 98,000 if I was ranked 41 now. I'm just going to ballpark it. I mean, I don't know, million and a half.

[B]

And that's pre endorsements.

[D]

Yeah, it's pre endorsements.

[B]

Did you have any sponsors back then?

[D]

I did, I did, yeah. I had, I had multiple. I had multiple. I had a Wilson contract, I had a Sergio Takini contract and a Nike contract.

[B]

How often would you go through a pair of tennis shoes?

[D]

Like once every two weeks.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Did you bring multiple pair?

[D]

Yeah, I'd bring like three or four pair.

[B]

How many rackets did you bring to a tournament as a pro?

[D]

5 or 6.

[B]

Do you ever break a racket on purpose?

[D]

Not that I remember. No, I don't think I did.

[B]

Were you content with your professional career or were you like.

[D]

Oh, no, not at all.

[B]

It's a shame because it's so remarkable.

[D]

I was content with. I mean, I did all I could. I wish I would have gotten to, like, the top 20 or, like, top. You know, it's like, okay, I got to. I got a lot of wins. I was like a dangerous floater on the tour. I'd like. I'd beat the top guys and lose to you the next round. Okay. So I wish I had been a lot more consistent, that's all.

[B]

I don't know if you know a comedian. He is Michael Kosta.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Yes, I do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He has the best bit about it. And he was a pro tennis player, and he got to, like.

[D]

He got to 800 or something.

[B]

I think it was. I think he would be up upset with that remark. There was 800. I think it was closer to, like, in the 130s. Maybe it wasn't.

[D]

No, no, I. I just watched him fine.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Regardless, I just always appreciated him doing that bit like that. He took pride. And I was the 800th best in the world at something.

[D]

Yeah, it's.

[B]

So I'm saying 41st in the world at something is pretty remarkable.

[D]

I wrote an article about that because I used to get asked, well, what's your ranking? And I go, oh, you know, 41. I go, oh, it's too bad. And so I go, well, what's your doctor ranked?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

That you think is like the best doctor in the world? What if I said, well, he's like the 400th best doctor, really? And go, well, I wouldn't go to him. I go, well, so how do you know what. You know? It's like, it's all about the ranking thing. It's weird.

[A]

Could you have beat Billie Jean King in the battle of the sexes?

[D]

Is that a serious question? I don't know. Actually, I played doubles with her quite a bit.

[A]

How was in team tennis?

[D]

It was hell. It was only hell because she actually pulled me across the finish line because she was so tough and she wouldn't let us lose. And so we won the team tennis championships one year. I mean, if I missed an overhead, she'd go, don't miss overheads like this. And she, you know, so I actually hated her for that. But then I loved her because, you know, we actually won the whole thing. So she was tough. I mean, it was like a Michael Jordan thing, you know, he wouldn't let his team lose either.

[B]

Were you allowed to smoke during crossovers

[D]

back in your life?

[A]

Yes. You were.

[B]

You were.

[D]

Of course you were.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

That's great. I love it.

[B]

Did you smoke?

[D]

Never. No.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

You can do whatever you. Actually, a few players smoked during matches.

[B]

During match. During Match while they're playing at point.

[E]

Yeah, I mean.

[B]

I mean, it really is just funny.

[D]

Actually, you know what? Venus Williams played a guy who was ranked like 150 for some exo thing, and he smoked the whole time and he beat her 6:1. He was actually smoking during points. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Talk about the party scene as a professional tennis player in the late 70s and early 80s.

[D]

Oh, boy. Okay, well, I guess I have to bring up the most famous tennis partier, Vitus Garolaitis, back in the 70s. You know who that is, right?

[B]

Not off the top of my head, no. Do I not know who it is?

[D]

Are you serious?

[B]

Yes, I do. Then I don't know.

[D]

He was like four in the world back in the late 70s. Long hair, new Yorker, charismatic as hell, drove Rolls Royces. Everyone loved Vitus. I mean, he was like the life of the party. And he had enough means to purchase some of the things that we partaked in in those days and always had a party at, like, the hotel and after matches, and it was just amazing character. So a lot of partying with him. One year also, we had like a pre Wimbledon bash because about, like, 10 of us figured we're not gonna win it. So let's just have a party before we leave.

[B]

Cause you're all together.

[D]

Because we're all together.

[B]

Right, that makes sense.

[D]

We're at Wimbledon. This is fantastic. We're staying at great hotels. Let's just, you know, let's just do it. So one year we had a phenomenal. And everyone showed up. It was just great. And the cops busted us, too. It was over in London. It was great. It was a lot of fun.

[A]

That's good.

[B]

O.J. simpson, huh?

[D]

Do you guys ever chase him? I knew him a little bit.

[B]

Did he play tennis?

[D]

He did, yes. At this guy's court in a Brentwood. He also was around in the 70s when I was 2, so.

[B]

Did you ever party with him?

[D]

I did a little bit, yeah.

[E]

Partied with O.J.

[A]

you partied with O.J.

[D]

yeah.

[A]

How was he as a person? He seemed like a nice guy.

[D]

Well, you know. You know what? Not exactly. Were you shocked at his whole thing?

[A]

How it ended up? Yeah.

[D]

Yes, I was shocked.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You didn't see that coming.

[D]

You mean like the jury?

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

I just meant actually killing people.

[D]

No, I didn't. No, I didn't anticipate that one. No.

[A]

That's fair.

[B]

I mean, I've talked to people in different sports, and they always say that the next generation is always light years better than the generation behind.

[A]

Do you agree with that?

[D]

I wouldn't say light years.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

I mean, I think it's improved. I mean, you know, like when I watch Bill Tilden from the 20s play, he looks terrible to me. Right. And he was supposed to be the greatest of all time.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Do I think that Sinner's much better than Federer? Nadal? No. At all. But I think over time, I think the guys learn to become better. The equipment gets better, they get in better shape. You know, these guys now are much taller than my generation was, so it's an easier sport for them. Sinner.

[B]

Alcaraz, where do you go as far

[D]

as who's going to have the most Slams?

[B]

Well, no.

[D]

Or as far as who's better?

[A]

Who do you like better?

[D]

Who's gamer? I love watching watching Alcaraz play. Absolutely love to watch the guy. The guy is that a human highlight film to me.

[B]

And he brings so much joy to it.

[D]

Always smiling. And after a huge point, even if he loses it, he'll smile. He brings everybody in. It's great.

[B]

Did you ever have thighs like him?

[D]

No, no, I had twigs, actually. I didn't. I didn't have the. Have the big leg.

[B]

His thighs.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I can't stop.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

When I'm like, look at this.

[D]

Obviously not.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Tanks. I mean, the guy is unbelievable. Center.

[A]

Nah. Did you think Sinner should have been suspended longer? No, no, no.

[D]

I don't buy it.

[B]

What do you mean you don't buy it?

[D]

I don't buy the blanket suspension rule.

[B]

Yeah, but they've done it for everyone else.

[D]

He's getting a massage and then twice. Was it twice?

[A]

I believe it was.

[D]

Are you sure about that?

[B]

I believe so.

[D]

The masses who's given him a rub down has something in the frickin cream which is like 1. 1. 1 millionth of a like a percent.

[B]

If you believe that.

[A]

If you believe that's where it came from.

[D]

I'm not a conspiracy guy, all right?

[A]

I'm not either. I just know that he had it

[B]

in his system twice and he should

[A]

have been popped longer.

[D]

Okay. All right.

[A]

Should have affected his ranking. How would Ivan Lendl fare against Carlos Alcaraz?

[B]

Prime versus Prime.

[D]

Alcaraz is better.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Lendel's didn't volley that well. His touch around the net wasn't great. Alcaraz is also. Alcaraz is faster.

[B]

Who's the hothead from Australia?

[D]

Oh, Kyrgios.

[A]

Kyrgios.

[D]

That guy's scary. Yeah. That serve of his is the biggest thing I've ever seen in My life.

[B]

But he doesn't care about tennis.

[D]

I know he doesn't.

[B]

It's just a bizarre thing.

[D]

It's weird. Yeah.

[B]

To have that much and be like, eh.

[D]

Well, I mean, he now sort of plays matches like around the edges of tennis. It's weird. He played what's her name, Sabalenka, in that match.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't like him commentating that. I have no interest in, like, oh, I get it, you have a basketball jersey on. But he said something about sinner Alcaraz that I thought was pretty spot on. He said that sinner probably will end up with more because Alcaraz is interested in women.

[D]

He's. Oh, that.

[A]

That's what he said. Oh, he made Alcaraz like really likes, like.

[D]

So he said that'll himself is what he's talking about.

[A]

But it sounded like eventually that was going to bite him maybe.

[B]

Who was your favorite contemporary player?

[D]

Alcaraz.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Prior to these two guys, you were a Federer guy.

[D]

Yeah, huge Federer guy.

[B]

I was a Nadal guy.

[D]

I like him too. It's just that Federer was so. Was unbelievably shot maker. I mean, the guy did shots behind his back and through his legs and. Amazing player.

[B]

I think I ended up liking Nadal's personal. And then the fact that the little routine before every serve where he would dig his butt and then rub his nose was odd.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

It was just a weird.

[D]

I didn't see the, you know, he does he smells finger routine, but he

[B]

did the sequence was so crazy. It was always butt pick and then it like touched his face and I'm

[D]

like, balls and butt in his nose. A question. Who do you like Female wise to watch play.

[B]

I've said this before and I will

[A]

happily say it again.

[B]

I don't like watching any of the girls with KS in their names or OVAs.

[A]

I don't like any of the OVAs.

[B]

It's not my thing.

[D]

Got it.

[B]

I only become patriotic for tennis and the Olympics.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

And outside of that, my patriotism is almost dead in this country.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

But for some reason, when it comes

[B]

to tennis and the Olympics, I care. And I'm like, beat this over. They're like the robots and I don't care.

[A]

But so I love Coco.

[B]

I want her to do well. I cheer for her.

[D]

Yeah, she's great.

[B]

I even like the one that people lost their mind at in Australia. She was saying horrible things like American.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

The crowd was booing her. She said something about like, well, whatever, thanks.

[A]

You guys just paid for My friends

[B]

and I to have another Danielle Collins.

[A]

I like her.

[D]

Oh, my God. Really hard time with her.

[B]

Oh, everyone does.

[D]

Oh, my gosh.

[B]

And rightfully so.

[D]

But I think now she's commentating, by the way. You know that on the Tennis Channel.

[B]

Is she hurt or she not hurt?

[D]

I thought she was going to retire last year, but she didn't.

[B]

Well, I liked her saying horrible things about them. Paying for her friends to have more spa treatments.

[A]

Yeah, she's brutal. Oh, God, it's everything that people think of Americans. Who's on your Mount Rushmore? Of tennis legends.

[D]

That's not bad. Federer.

[B]

Michael Chang.

[D]

No, not Michael Chang.

[B]

How dare you?

[D]

For the people that are shorter than Michael Chang. For two weeks.

[A]

Yeah, for two weeks.

[D]

For two weeks.

[B]

And then he fired you?

[D]

No, he went to the US Open. Okay, okay. So Federer for sure. Nadal for sure. And so then three and four. I would say Boris. No. God, no. For me, I would say Pancho Gonzalez. Okay. Oh, who's my fourth? Agassiz. No, not Agassiz.

[B]

Serena.

[D]

No, Serena, don't. Serena, meet. No, no.

[B]

Jesus.

[D]

I'm gonna say, does it have to be a woman?

[B]

No, it doesn't have to be a woman. It's Mount Rushmore.

[D]

I might put. Because if I am allowed a woman, it's Steffi Graf.

[A]

Ah.

[B]

Rank the four Grand Slams.

[D]

Okay. Wimbledon, French US Open, Australian Open.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Now, as a fan, I've only been to three.

[D]

What, haven't you been to Wimbledon?

[B]

I'm saving it.

[A]

Oh, my wife and I.

[B]

That was my honeymoon. For my wife is I'm gonna take you to all four majors. We both enjoy watching tennis. So we've gone to three. We haven't gone to Wimbledon yet. And my order is the same as yours. French is one, US is second, and Australia is. No offense, it's Australia.

[D]

It's the Ringo Star of Islams.

[B]

They try to make it sound like it's a party down there, but it's not.

[A]

Lacks soul.

[D]

Aussie soul. Yeah, right. Yeah.

[B]

The problem with the US Open is I can't stay awake that late.

[D]

You can't move either there, too. It's just so crowded all the time.

[A]

You know your favorite surface, rascal?

[D]

American clay.

[A]

Hard.

[D]

American clay.

[B]

American clay.

[D]

Yeah. What's the difference? It bounces lower than the red clay of Roland Garros. Yes.

[B]

What's it about?

[D]

Two.

[B]

That goes higher.

[D]

Goes higher.

[B]

Yeah, it does.

[D]

Yeah. You like it?

[B]

By the way, five setters. Are you fine with this?

[D]

I'm only fine with three out of five from the Quarters on.

[B]

Oh, interesting twist.

[A]

I like it. He's got the right fix from the quarters on. Fine.

[D]

At the US Open, for two years, back in 76 and 7, we played two out of three sets, I think, until the round of 16, and then it was three out of five sets. Okay, so it worked out just fine.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And who wants to sit there through, like an 021 first round match? No one does. It's too long.

[B]

I don't want to watch any. I don't want to watch any athlete play for five hours.

[A]

Hawkeye, you a fan?

[D]

Fan.

[B]

Me too, yeah.

[D]

Fan.

[A]

Knock it off. We don't need humans.

[D]

It's truth. Why not?

[B]

Is it truth? Complete truth, or can it be wrong?

[D]

It's more truth than some linesman.

[A]

Okay, Yeah.

[B]

I mean, but can it be wrong?

[D]

You're trying to make me say yes. I don't know.

[B]

I just want to show the ball.

[A]

Mark, that's this long.

[B]

I'm like, how's the tennis ball smushed that hard? I know it was going 150 miles an hour, but. Okay. And you're saying one, you know, millimeter

[A]

of it touched that line?

[D]

I mean, I like it.

[A]

I agree.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Do away with all.

[D]

It takes out all the. All the. All the arguing Indian Wells.

[A]

Do you love it?

[D]

I do love it. You know, our boss owns that, too.

[A]

I know he does.

[D]

Yes. I've been there every year since. Since 74, I think.

[A]

I go every year.

[D]

Yeah. And when do you go? Like, do you go towards the end of this?

[A]

I used to always go the second

[B]

week, try to get quarters on with the in laws. But now I have kids that I have to like attendance. I'm getting truancy letters from school because I pull them too much to experience life.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

So I can't do it. So now I'm going on the first weekend.

[D]

Well, that's super crowded the first weekend. Well, I think it is. I mean, the second weekend is not as crowded because everyone's gone. A lot of the players are gone.

[B]

I've always liked early round tennis.

[A]

I like to just bop in, see

[B]

somebody on a court where I like

[D]

the practice court, too. Yeah, I like that.

[A]

My mother in law, she was ranting

[B]

about what's his name? We were watching him. He was playing juniors.

[A]

There's no way I'm going to pull this.

[B]

Does Lindell's son play juniors?

[D]

No.

[B]

Someone's son's playing. Leighton Hewitt's son, Leighton Hewitt.

[D]

He plays.

[A]

Thank you.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

My mother in law's screaming, I can't Believe he's not here watching his son play. And he's sitting one seat in front of her.

[D]

Oh, you're kidding me. It was the best. Oh, that's fantastic.

[A]

It was the best.

[D]

That is great. I love it.

[A]

She was just whining.

[B]

I can't believe he's not here watching his son. And he's just sitting there. Has to have a shitty grin on his face because I notice it. I just, I go, oh, he's right there.

[A]

He's right there.

[D]

That's so funny.

[B]

It was just outside court in Indian

[A]

Wells and I happen to be watching. All right.

[B]

Would you stand in on 150 mile an hour serve?

[D]

Are you kidding?

[B]

You wouldn't? Just to see.

[D]

Just to see if I could get hit.

[B]

Just to do it.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Stand eight feet behind the baseline and go for it. You're not gonna take a rip? Oh, what's the fastest you could serve in the 70s?

[D]

Oh, God. In the 70s. With a wooden racket?

[B]

Yeah, the wooden racket.

[D]

100 miles an hour.

[B]

You can get a wooden racket do 100 miles an hour.

[D]

Maybe if I was 20, 25 years old, I could do it. Yeah, but barely.

[B]

You play tennis how many times a week now?

[D]

Maybe once. It's mainly golf or something else. Yeah.

[A]

Do you play doubles?

[B]

Do you play singles still?

[D]

I just hit because I've got a fake hip, which hurts me, so. Also, I've gotten so slow over the years. It's like over the last five years, I' I just slowed down, so it's not as much fun to go play tennis for me.

[B]

You're 70?

[D]

Yeah, I'm 70.

[A]

What about pickleball? Okay, where's the rage level?

[D]

I don't have the rage. It's just frickin tiddlywinks to me. It's just like plink, plink, plink. You bend over, hurt your back. I just don't see the payoff in it, that's all. I've played it. I've played. I get it. It's not bad.

[B]

You're not gonna turn half your courts?

[D]

No pickleball? No, none.

[A]

None.

[D]

There's no request for it.

[B]

Is there a request like, we'll leave if you do this?

[D]

No, no, no, no, no. But, you know, we've got a huge wait list for tennis only, so why would I convert tennis courts?

[B]

That gets me to your club. I go there for lunch. That's it. And I just watch.

[D]

Okay, that's close enough.

[B]

Okay, but now it's close to the action. Yeah, it's Also too stressful there for me. I can't imagine playing in front of people that are getting to just walk by and look at you from above.

[D]

Yeah, my boss doesn't care if you care for that either.

[B]

Oh, really?

[D]

No.

[A]

Your club.

[B]

How did you become involved in the Malibu Racquet Club?

[A]

Let's start.

[D]

Interesting story, actually. So a friend of mine from the tennis tour by the name of Sandy Mayer, who won Wimbledon doubles one year with Vita Scarrelitis, he called me and he said, hey, I hit with Larry Ellison up here up in Northern California. He's got a lot of homes in Malibu. Do you want to hit with him one day? I said, sure, I'd love to. Right? So he said, okay, meet him at this, you know? Meet him at this.

[B]

Why would he love to? Is that just you doing business back then? Like.

[D]

It's business? Okay, totally business.

[A]

Got it.

[D]

Exactly. So anyway, so I met him at his. At his Cross Creek house, Clay Court. First time we play, we just hit back and forth, you know, exchanged pleasantries.

[B]

Is any good?

[D]

He's okay. He's steady.

[B]

Uh huh.

[D]

How'd Zach grab you?

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Hope he didn't see this. Anyway, so after we played, I said, hey, I said, have you ever seen this old rundown tennis club over here, Malibu Rack Club? He goes, no. I said, well, as long as you're buying a bala Malibu, I'd love to take you over there to take a look at it. And so he went, okay, fine. So I just threw it out there. And then he said, yes. And so I took him over there. We walked around. It was in bad shape. It was like the courts were in bad shape. The old fences, the old orange shag carpeting, the old saloon bar and whatever, right? And so after he looked around, I said, look, I said, I've run the Los Angeles Tennis Club. I said, if you want to buy this, I'd be happy to run it for you and make it a lot better since you're buying up Malibu. And that night he said, okay, let's do it. How about that? So it just proves. Just say something sometimes, you know? And so within a few months, I was there.

[B]

And you've been there since.

[D]

Since, yeah, since. Since 2007.

[B]

How long?

[A]

From your.

[B]

Like, the writing was on the wall. I'm not gonna make a living as a pro tennis player anymore. To that job, was it?

[D]

Oh, a lot of stuff happened. I mean, I. I stopped playing in 83.

[B]

You stopped playing in 83, and this is what year?

[D]

2007.

[B]

Oh, man.

[D]

Long time Was it all. I had a lot of stuff to do.

[B]

Was everything tennis related in between?

[D]

Not at all. No. So after I stopped playing, I got a job at the Reebok starting their. Starting their tennis division back in Boston. So I did that for a couple years.

[A]

Reebok.

[B]

Was that. Was that fun or was that grueling?

[D]

It was sort of grueling. East coast corporate Boston, freezing. And then I stopped that, and then I wanted to do something on my own. I used to go to Italy for tennis, and so I loved the whole espresso world over there, which we didn't have in the States. And so I went on this whole quest to try and find where are all the cool espresso bars here in la. And it just led me up to Seattle. And everyone kept saying, this little Starbucks place is gonna open up 10 stores in Los Angeles next year. So light bulb went off, I went down, started my own espresso bars. I had like, 11 of them. And so I did that for, like, five years. Yeah.

[A]

That's good stuff.

[B]

Yeah. You get Larry Ellis to cut the check. You're running this place right away. Did you live in Malibu at the time, or.

[D]

No, I live in Studio City.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I didn't. I've never. I didn't grow up here. There's definitely this weird mix of old Malibu.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And like, me, I've noticed that.

[D]

Yeah. Right, man. Yeah.

[B]

And it's just fun to be a part of the hatred sometimes.

[A]

But.

[B]

But what I will say is, so anytime I find something in Malibu, I'm like, oh, my goodness. Like the tennis club.

[A]

You go down a road, like, towards

[B]

City hall, and you go down in an even shittier road that doesn't even seem like it's a real road.

[A]

There's like.

[B]

You're like, where? And then all of a sudden, there's just these handful. How many courts are there?

[D]

Eight.

[B]

There's eight breathtaking tennis courts and a

[A]

clubhouse and a restaurant.

[B]

And you're like. And it looks like it could be Nobu.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, job well done.

[D]

First of all, copied the look of what Larry likes.

[B]

He likes Nobu.

[D]

He likes that whole Japanese modern look.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah. So we kind of copied that.

[A]

Well, good. Yeah, you did.

[B]

It's beautiful.

[D]

Yeah. Thank you.

[B]

Did you do that right away?

[D]

Right away. I got into it. I just freaking tore it up. Yeah. And luckily, Hollis helped me a lot, obviously. And she's doing it all now herself.

[B]

Hollis is Buzz's wife.

[A]

The car wash. Who has a car

[B]

wash still right in front there? Right when can the general public eat at your club during the week?

[D]

Anytime.

[B]

Monday through Friday.

[D]

Monday through Friday.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

But not on the weekends.

[A]

Not on the weekends.

[B]

That's members only.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you do breakfast?

[D]

We do breakfast on the weekends.

[B]

For members. Yes, members of breakfast.

[D]

You can.

[B]

Listen, I'm not looking for me. I'm not looking for me.

[A]

I am, but.

[D]

Ok. Right.

[B]

You just feel like when somebody's from out of town and I bring them there for lunch, they think, oh wow, this is something different. You know, the ins and outs of

[A]

the city, which is my goal.

[B]

What's it cost to have a membership at your club?

[D]

Single membership initiation I think is 12,000 now and family is like 16. So we're probably one of the cheaper tennis clubs.

[B]

Oh, that's cheaper.

[D]

Oh yeah.

[B]

Oh God.

[D]

I mean the riviera is like 16,000 every year. No, no, one time.

[B]

One time 6,000.

[D]

And then monthly I think single is 400 and families 450. Something like that. Yeah.

[B]

450amonth for your whole family. Can you ever. I get it. How far. How big is my whole family? Are my in laws, do they count as my.

[D]

Nope.

[B]

My father in law doesn't.

[D]

No, no. Like friends and family.

[B]

It's not friends. I fucking married his daughter.

[D]

Okay, well, you know, we'll let him. We'll let him play six times a year.

[B]

I mean that might be all he's doing.

[D]

There is a rule, by the way on that.

[B]

That's fine because he lives here 20% of the year with us.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

I gotta figure this out.

[D]

He's in.

[B]

How long is the wait list to become a member?

[D]

Like three years.

[A]

Okay, well that's eight courts. Do you ever want to expand?

[D]

We're in the process right now of expanding to that property next door to us. So we've been trying to do that for at least 12 years.

[A]

Yeah, the city of Boston.

[D]

But the city is impossible.

[A]

Impossible.

[D]

So we want to build three to four more more courts and let those 200 people in. If we did.

[B]

Why would the city want to make an area that looks currently disgusting beautiful?

[D]

It's just an insane.

[B]

It really is talking to somebody that's built twice.

[D]

But you have.

[B]

I lost in woesley and I rebuild after a build. But after like eight years with coastal.

[A]

Ugh, that's brutal. No, it's just the dumbest thing I

[B]

know, but I find it funny.

[D]

Well, you have to laugh because they just say stupid.

[B]

The same stupid.

[A]

Well, we don't want to turn into Manhattan Beach.

[D]

You're not turning Into Manhattan Beach.

[B]

Jesus.

[E]

What about going vertical?

[D]

Yeah, they love that. They love going up.

[A]

Let's do some courts on top of buildings. Is the goal of the tennis pro that gives lessons at your club to

[B]

not only help a player to improve,

[A]

but also bang wives?

[D]

Who wrote that?

[A]

I will hang up.

[B]

Did you write that? Did you write that? Of course I didn't write that one. It does seem like it's kind of a lifelong tradition of tennis pros.

[D]

Yes, I have heard of that before that has happened. I'm not sure if it's a under

[B]

your watchful eye, if it's a goal

[D]

or not, but you know it's out there.

[A]

Yeah, that's the problem. These tennis pros at clubs are just too hot.

[D]

Well, these moms are so assertive these days.

[A]

Victim blaming. I like that. We'll be right back. You guys know what the most important part of every workout routine is?

[B]

What's that?

[A]

I'm told no matter your fitness level, your routine needs variety to be sustainable. That's where fitbod comes in. It customizes every workout and adapts as you improve to avoid boredom and plateaus on your journey. With fitbod, you can generate workouts based on your goals, what equipment you have, how much time you have to work out, and more. How do they do it? You guessed it. An algorithm. A powerful algorithm that learns your strength training ability and pushes you a bit harder in your next workout. Which you guys is using. Fitbot, huh?

[B]

Yeah, I've been using it for a month already.

[A]

You are? How's that algorithm working?

[D]

Keeps track of everything you do. And after it learns how much you can handle, it pushes you a little harder next time.

[A]

Whether you've been missing gym time or hit a plateau, fitbod has a personalized program for you. Level up your workout. Join Fitbod today to get your personalized workout plan. Get 25 off your subscription or try the app free for seven days at Fitbod. Me tosh that's F I T B O D Me Tosh Paw show.

[B]

I'm forcing my son to play tennis.

[D]

Good.

[B]

He's played for a couple years. He's six.

[D]

That's when I started at six.

[A]

Okay, well, six.

[D]

Perfect age to start.

[B]

I picked a few things that I'm gonna force my kids to do. I was like, okay, you're going to play an instrument, you're going to do one sport. Tennis.

[D]

Fun.

[B]

And it's just one and he likes it. So it's good.

[A]

We're good.

[B]

But I don't know if he's got it. He's six, though.

[D]

Well, all you can hope for is that he likes it enough to play it in high school, because I think it keeps him out of a lot of trouble if they're on a trip.

[B]

And then I watched that one movie recently with Zendaya, and I was like, oh, this is dangerous. This is a dangerous.

[D]

Not for the guys, it wasn't. But, yeah,

[B]

it just.

[A]

It worried me. I was like, oh, this is gonna be awful.

[D]

Bring him by the club sometime, you know, I'll take a little look at the. You know.

[B]

No, no, no. He's off. He's.

[A]

We're just.

[B]

We're just.

[D]

Can he catch the ball? Can he roll it?

[B]

He's on the court sometimes. He knows low to high. He gets his backhand around.

[D]

Ye olde Low to high routine. Okay, that's good. That's fine. That's all right. I've heard it.

[B]

He's swinging. He's swinging.

[A]

Occasionally he gets a good shot, and I. And I'm proud. Oh, I'm such a proud guy.

[D]

Don't over praise him, though.

[B]

What?

[D]

Don't. Don't. Sends a bad message.

[B]

No, it doesn't.

[D]

Yes, it does. He hits one ball over, and then you go, oh, fantastic. No, don't do that. Why? It's nothing.

[E]

But it went over.

[D]

One ball over the net, low, and

[B]

it went over hot. Okay, I tell you what, I'm gonna. I can't stop praising, even if it's good form. Into the net. I praise him.

[A]

I say, good job.

[D]

Good luck in the future.

[A]

Good job. Oh, I love it. Everybody that's on the show gets a gift.

[B]

It's just stuff that's laying around my

[A]

house I just pass on to people. First thing.

[B]

This was given to me by Buzz. I don't want this.

[D]

Maybe. Well, he didn't either, so I guess

[B]

he gave it to me.

[A]

He gave me a new.

[B]

I'm like, buzz, I don't want this, but maybe you could just wear this as a prank to him one day.

[D]

You know what? He would laugh his ass off.

[B]

And you. You could.

[A]

Go ahead.

[B]

It's never been worn.

[D]

Oh, my God. It's too funny. Well, I guess I should take. Take back my. My presence to you too, then.

[B]

No, no, that I'm not.

[A]

That's. That's ridiculous.

[D]

All right.

[B]

Thank you. Throw that on the floor, please. Please.

[A]

Then I got you. I don't know if you have this book, you give it to somebody.

[D]

Changeover.

[A]

This is.

[B]

I don't even know if this book is out yet. It's about Alcarez and Sinner and their new rivalry.

[D]

Never seen that book.

[A]

The publisher, Max is my publisher. Well, sir.

[D]

Yeah, let me just take a little.

[A]

You take a look at that.

[D]

Peek at that.

[A]

Well, you have a look at that.

[D]

It's a great writer in America.

[A]

Well, you're gonna enjoy it.

[D]

Ben Rothenberg is on here.

[B]

And this.

[A]

I got you this.

[D]

Oh, my wife will like that.

[B]

Okay, this is a money tree. Oh, my agent is a witch, and instead of doing any real work every year, she sends me spells and money trees. Every year. Like, this will help you this year. And my wife's like, I don't want the stupid money trees.

[A]

Anyway, you're gonna go, I like that.

[D]

Yeah, I like it. Thank you. Oh, this is great. Fantastic.

[B]

Well, let's put this on the floor because I can't. The cameras can't see me anymore.

[D]

Whoops. I don't want to grab it there because it's going to fall out of here. I didn't know how big Pete was. These are. These are our new logo caps.

[A]

Let me see this. Malibu Racket Club.

[D]

This was originally for. This is nice for Pete because I've heard he's a large guy.

[A]

Yeah, but I'm a large guy.

[D]

You're a large guy.

[A]

I'm six four.

[D]

I got you this. UOMO sport, Italian. Oh, yeah, that's line.

[A]

I like this better.

[B]

Yeah, I like the white one better. Oh, man.

[A]

You watch me show up, I'm gonna show up to the rack.

[D]

I mean, if you and Pete want to. Want to, you know, switch off, but I.

[A]

No, no, I'm not gonna switch.

[D]

And then this, I think.

[B]

What is this?

[D]

This is. I think because every woman I give this to, they love this to. Because it's like a tennis, golf, yoga everything shirt.

[B]

No one's doing yoga in this. A medium. My wife would be insulted.

[D]

What is she.

[B]

She's a smaller.

[D]

But look how small it is, though.

[B]

No, don't.

[A]

You know what?

[B]

You know, who needs a sample?

[A]

Pete's wife's much bigger.

[D]

Okay, you know what? If she wants to exchange that one for like a small. I think we have.

[A]

Okay, so then now it's going back to my pile.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

He's making piles. I love it. I love it.

[A]

My pile in Pete's pile.

[D]

Friggin Christmas.

[A]

He's 10. Great. Well, it's very nice of you.

[D]

Oh, come on.

[A]

Thank you.

[D]

Trey. Yeah. Thanks for doing this. It's nice to talk about myself again.

[B]

I also don't like it when anybody that's in show business. Lets on that they play tennis, and then it's just painfully bad.

[D]

Oh, I had a lot of those. I've played with a lot of. A lot of celebrities back in the old days. Yeah.

[B]

No names, huh?

[D]

Well, I used to play up at Hefner's once in a while, so.

[B]

Oh, those girls are good.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

It's probably distracting. One time, Johnny Carson and I took on vitus and Bill Cosby, and it was a bizarro world. It really was.

[B]

And you woke up two days later,

[D]

he was eating Thai food bunnies and the. And, yeah, it was that. OJ Was always up there, too, by the way.

[B]

Johnny could. Carson could play, though.

[D]

Yeah, he could play a little.

[A]

A little.

[B]

A little. I'm sure he smoked during it.

[D]

He might have, yeah. He was always smoking. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Who's the best celebrity tennis player that you've ever come across? You're like, oh, wow. They can actually hit.

[D]

Yeah, there's actually quite a few. Robert Duvall's pretty good. You know who that is?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I don't know.

[B]

I know Robert Duvall.

[D]

Younger than I, but who else? Let me see, who else? Gavin Rossdale.

[B]

Oh, I did know that he played, which is funny because it goes against the rock star type of thing. For some reason in my head, he

[D]

plays a lot of tennis, and he used to play every day.

[B]

You just don't think they're outside

[A]

is

[B]

the way I look at it.

[A]

Ray.

[D]

Well, thank you.

[B]

Thank you for being on the show.

[A]

Yeah, appreciate it.

[D]

I loved it. It was great.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Thank you so much.

[A]

I'll see you around the club.

[D]

Please do.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I want to thank Trey for being on the show and offering me and my extended family free memberships to his beautiful racket club. Now, he's not going to do that, but I'll move some funds around. We'll make something happen. Right, Carl? I'm looking forward to joining. And the first thing I'm going to do, Ed, is I'm going to go out on the court with a can of spray paint and just show them how easy it is to turn one tennis court into four pickleball courts.

[E]

What?

[A]

Yeah. I'll do it on a court that's not right in the front, but there you go. Look at that. I just painted you.

[E]

Four courts, quadrupled revenue.

[A]

Boom. Just like that, you get different clientele. Let's do some plugs. Patreon.com tossshow for all that extra content year you've been clamoring for. My first farewell Tour is on sale now. Heading across the country. Get tickets. Come see us tossshowstore.com. get the merch so you look cool. Okay, enough of those plugs. Hit the music. For everyone's favorite segment. They love me. They love me not. This is where Eddie reads a comment from our listeners. One is pro, one is con. Here we go. Ed, what do you got for the first one?

[E]

Here we go. Caveman 4242. Tash really has the most normal talk show for a rich person.

[A]

I love him for a rich person. Rich, spiritually, emotionally, sure. Financially, it's just who you're comparing me to. Yeah, but they love me. That's nice. Well, that's great. I'll see you next week.

[D]

Whoa.

[A]

Oh, man. See what I tried to do?

[E]

Yeah, you tried to get out of there. They love me not.

[A]

All right, let's get to they love me now. What do you got for me from tater salad?

[E]

11:30, idiot.

[A]

Already? Idiot.

[E]

I love these hipsters that don't get their kids circumcised so they can be traumatized. The first time they show their penis to a female, it's for their own good. My dick never chafed from riding a bike. Shaking my head.

[A]

Okay, this idiot. First of all, a hipster. Me?

[E]

Yeah. Not at all.

[A]

I don't fit the definition of a hipster. And your dick never chafed on a seat. That's because it's not long enough to touch the seat is all I'm hearing.

[B]

Burn.

[A]

My six year old boy got a bigger hog than you. That's all that is. And who's traumatized seeing. First of all, no one is seeing a penis for the first time. Flaccid, rock hard, they all look the same. My wife six weeks ago saw my penis flaccid for the first time. You know, you have to sneak up on it to see it flaccid. Because if it knows a lady's in the room, oh, boy. He jumps up, he's excited. He's like, oh, are we playing Put me in, coach.

[E]

Didn't know you're coming over.

[A]

Who's this?

[D]

Oh, we know her.

[A]

Second of all, in this country, forget worldwide. In this country, we're almost at 5050 now of circumcised versus uncircumcised. That's just coin flips every time you yank a pair of pants down, okay? That's just facts. Now, if we go globally, it shifts way to the uncircumcised. Who's traumatized? I even remember when I was a kid, one of my friends had an uncircumcised penis, and I couldn't wait to get a look at it. It? Yeah, I was curious. Let me see it. Then he showed it to me. He's like, oh, my God. He pulled the skin back and then it looked the same. I'm like, there it is. This idiot. Well, this segment is a bad idea. Just makes me mad how I end every episode.

[E]

It is. Maybe we'll flip them.

[A]

See you next week.