Tosh Show – "My Paw-some Service Dog Volunteer – Melissa Rubin"
Podcast: Tosh Show
Host: Daniel Tosh
Guest: Melissa Rubin (Guide Dogs of America volunteer/puppy raiser)
Date: November 4, 2025
Episode Overview
This episode features an engaging conversation between Daniel Tosh and Melissa Rubin, a seasoned volunteer who raises and nurtures puppies for Guide Dogs of America. Daniel explores Melissa's unique role training service dogs that eventually work with visually impaired adults, autistic children, and veterans with PTSD. The pair weave in classic Tosh humor and digress into animals, odd home stories, and the challenges—and joys—of raising puppies for such an important cause.
Key Discussion Points and Insights
Ghost Encounters and Icebreakers
- Daniel’s signature first question: "Do you believe in ghosts?"
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Melissa answers yes, recounting a strange encounter with a “tall, lanky” man who would turn off her shower light and make strange noises in the house, which stopped when she confronted the presence.
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Quote:
“I had a ghost in my house. … He kept on showing up in the shower. I swear to God.” – Melissa (13:06)
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Daniel jokes about the potential for the haunting to be sexual in nature.
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Memorable moment: Daniel’s skepticism and endless curiosity about ghosts, while Eddie jokes about the best ghost story on the show yet.
“You have a ghost in your shower?” – Daniel (13:16)
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Life as a Puppy Raiser
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Home full of dogs: Melissa currently houses three dogs—two breeder girls and a puppy-in-training, Millie.
- Quote:
“I think they all have a puppy they’re raising, maybe a career change dog, and sometimes a breeder. I have two breeder girls and Millie right now.” – Melissa (16:03)
- Quote:
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Breeding program details:
- Dogs are allowed up to four litters, breeding is tightly controlled via algorithms and genetic tracking.
- Some dogs retire early due to C-sections or not enjoying motherhood.
Service Dog Training Process
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Dog selection and success: Only about 60% of puppies make it to service status, with a significant number dropping out for behavioral or medical reasons, highlighting the unpredictability despite breeding.
“What’s the percentage of dogs that… actually then becoming a service dog themselves?”
“It’s about 60%, give or take.” – Melissa (18:25–18:28) -
Puppy raisers train from 8 weeks to roughly 16 months, after which the dogs move to formal training, sometimes within prison programs.
The Prison Program
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Dogs are often trained by inmates:
“Our service dogs are trained in prisons. So she [Colette] went off to prison, and they worked with her for a year, and I actually just got to meet the man that trained her.” – Melissa (25:15)
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Emotional highlight:
- Melissa describes the powerful, bittersweet experience visiting the prison, seeing inmates’ devotion to their dogs (pictures on the wall, detailed letters home documenting progress).
- Only inmates without sexual or child offenses are eligible to participate.
What Service Dogs Actually Do
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For visually impaired: Guide dogs learn “intelligent disobedience”—knowing NOT to follow a command if it’s unsafe (e.g., walking into traffic).
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For autistic children: Dogs provide support via nudges/bumping to disrupt repetitive behaviors and act as a grounding presence (ex: child holds onto a lead attached to the harness in public).
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PTSD/Mobility: Can open cabinets, pick up items, offer companionship.
“One of the things we teach is a nudge or a bump so the dog will nudge them to get them to stop.” – Melissa (20:14)
Dog Behavior, Ownership, and Adoption
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Daniel reflects on being a "good, not great" dog owner, and debates nature vs. nurture in dog behavior.
“Everyone always tries to put your dog’s behavior on the owner, which I kind of find a bit annoying... a lot of their behavior is predispositioned.” – Daniel (21:46)
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Puppy raisers get first right to adopt any dog that doesn’t make it into the program.
The Realities and Rewards of Puppy Raising
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Hard to say goodbye: But seeing dogs graduate into service is deeply rewarding.
“After you see one graduation… You see the impact that it makes on their lives, and you’re like, okay, I did that.” – Melissa (23:52)
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Service dog life: Dogs generally have a well-balanced life, with work and downtime, and checks to prevent overworking.
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Naming: Raisers choose names, following the litter letter convention (“Millie” from the M-litter). Name sticks for the dog’s career.
Public Service Dog Challenges
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Daniel and Melissa commiserate over the frustration of seeing untrained “emotional support” dogs in public places, often with owners abusing the service dog designation.
“Can you imagine coming up to a harnessed visually impaired person with their seeing eye dog and distracting their dog? It spins the dog out of control.” – Melissa (27:00)
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Notable quote:
“I’m not a fan of it either. I get mad at seeing all these dogs at farmer’s markets.” – Daniel (28:00)
Animal Tangents: Pigs, Cats, German Shepherds, and Squirrels
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Daniel discusses his household pig and its less-than-appealing anatomical features.
“The gross thing is the penis. … It has a corkscrew at the end. And it’s about 13 inches long.” – Daniel (41:44)
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Cat intelligence vs. dogs:
“Nobody’s using a cat to walk a blind person around LAX.” – Daniel (31:19)
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Training "attack dogs" and animal confidence:
- Fun riff about what would happen if squirrels realized how easily they could take over the world.
Volunteer Opportunities and Getting Involved
- Volunteer needs: The main commodity needed by Guide Dogs of America is more puppy raisers.
- How to get involved:
“Our website has a, you know, call them for volunteer.” – Melissa (50:48)
“Guidedogsofamerica.org” – Melissa (50:53)- Opportunities for puppy raisers, puppy sitters, and even “puppy huggers” ("start handling puppies at three days old").
- Puppy raisers can have full-time jobs, and there’s robust volunteer support.
- No cost to be a volunteer; payment is in “love and kisses and tail wags."
“That’s not good. You can’t pay the bills on tail wags.” – Daniel (51:45)
Service Dog Care Details
- Grooming: Clients learn grooming basics, including trimming nails (which both Daniel and Melissa agree is traumatic and best left to professionals).
- Spaying and neutering: Service dogs are fixed around a year old; breeders remain intact.
- Handling dog periods: Melisssa manages heat cycles in her breeder females.
Melissa’s TV Career & Other Fun Digressions
- Stints working for Joan Rivers and Judge Judy, with Daniel joking about therapy dog needs after those gigs.
- Brush with Air Bud franchise and recent DC Comics collaborations.
- Lighthearted gift-giving segment: Daniel hands over random (often used) pet products and household items to Melissa.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
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On Ghosts:
“He [the ghost] kept on showing up in the shower. I swear to God.” – Melissa (13:14)
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On Prison Training:
“It almost makes you forget that they’re murderers.” – Daniel (26:02)
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On Puppy Raising:
“It is hard because you love them… but after you see one graduation… you’re like, okay, I did that.” – Melissa (23:52)
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On Untrained Service Dogs in Public:
“It takes a while for the visually impaired person to get that dog calm back down.” – Melissa (27:00)
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On Cat Intelligence:
“Until a cat can walk a blind person around LAX, I don’t want to hear anyone tell me how much smarter they are than dogs.” – Daniel (31:28)
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On Volunteer “Payment”:
“Yeah. In love and kisses and tail wags.” – Melissa (51:42)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- [12:49] – Introduction of Melissa Rubin and her role
- [13:02] – Melissa’s shower ghost story
- [16:00] – Current dogs at home and breeding program
- [18:25] – Percentage of dogs that complete the program
- [19:43] – Roles of service dogs (autism, blind, PTSD, facility)
- [23:45] – Timeframe for puppy raising (8 weeks to 16 months)
- [25:15] – The prison-inmate training program
- [31:19] – Cats vs. dogs in service animal roles
- [40:43] – PTSD dogs and what tasks they perform
- [50:53] – How to volunteer at Guide Dogs of America
- [52:04] – "Puppy hugger" job explained
- [54:25] – Spaying/neutering policies and heat cycles
- [56:10] – Would Melissa sell Millie for the right price?
Tone and Style
The conversation is sharp, comedic, and down-to-earth, with Daniel’s trademark irreverence and Melissa’s warmth and humility shining throughout. They mix practical advice, genuine curiosity, and quick humor—making serious points about animal welfare, public misconceptions, and the joys of volunteering, all while keeping the energy light and accessible.
For Listeners: Key Takeaways
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Guide Dogs of America is always seeking volunteers—puppy raisers, sitters, and huggers. If you're interested in helping, go to guidedogsofamerica.org.
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Raising a service dog is a big commitment with immense rewards, but not every puppy succeeds, and that’s okay.
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Service dogs perform rigorous, highly specific jobs tailored to the needs of their eventual handlers—changing lives far beyond what most people realize.
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If you see a working dog in public: don’t distract, don’t pet, and respect the important service these animals—and their human partners—are performing.
End of Summary
