My Staff’s Tax Guy - John McLellan

Summary

Tosh Show Episode Summary: "My Staff’s Tax Guy - John McLellan"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Tosh Show
• Host: Daniel Tosh
• Guest: John McLellan, Accountant
• Release Date: February 18, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of the Tosh Show, comedian Daniel Tosh welcomes John McLellan, the show's producer and resident accountant. The conversation delves into John's professional expertise, personal background, and his experiences navigating the complexities of tax season. As the episode unfolds, listeners gain valuable insights into tax preparation, IRS protocols, and the intersection of personal hobbies and professional life.

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Guest Background

John McLellan shares his journey from a motocross racer to a seasoned accountant. Growing up in Torrance, California, John was deeply involved in motorsports from a young age, participating in junior motocross and excelling in the 80cc expert mini categories from ages 7 to 12.

John [12:18]: "I pretty much rode motocross from 7 years old to almost 12 and really excelled in the 80cc expert mini categories."

However, a pivotal shift occurred when his father transitioned from a framing contractor to a craftsman, prompting John to pivot his career focus. Leveraging his aptitude for computers, he seamlessly integrated technology into his accounting practice, emphasizing efficiency and accuracy.

John [19:00]: "I was really good at computers and nobody knew how to use computers that well in accounting. So I became an accountant, and the rest is history."

John's academic path included business degrees from Loyola Marymount and Cal State Long Beach, and an international stint in Indonesia near Bali, where he indulged his passion for surfing.

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Personal Interests: Surfing and Motocross

The dialogue frequently veers into John’s love for surfing and racing. John recounts his early experiences with surfing, detailing his favorite spots like Hagerty’s Point and his unforgettable ride at Punta Roca in La Libertad, El Salvador.

John [16:15]: "Punta Roca at La Libertad in El Salvador. Best wave I've ever caught."

His passion for motorsports continues through his son's involvement in kart racing, highlighting the familial legacy of racing and the blend of adrenaline-fueled hobbies with everyday responsibilities.

John [36:07]: "Last weekend he was in Orlando, Florida at the Orlando Kart Center. He's only 11, and he's already got a room full of trophies."

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Tax Season Insights

As tax season approaches, John provides a wealth of knowledge on navigating IRS audits, understanding tax laws, and optimizing tax returns. He emphasizes the importance of accuracy and compliance to avoid audits and penalties.

John [24:26]: "Disproportionate expenses can trigger IRS scrutiny. If you live in Malibu but report $10,000 income, the IRS will investigate."

He debunks myths about IRS audits being entirely random, explaining that while there is an element of randomness, the IRS also targets discrepancies between reported income and lifestyle.

John [22:32]: "They audit people randomly and they audit poor people... If you show that you can afford luxury living without corresponding income, you're a target."

John addresses common tax misconceptions, such as the pitfalls of using services like TurboTax for complex tax situations.

John [29:16]: "Nobody that has made some money should do their own taxes. It's risky and can lead to errors."

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Common Tax Issues and Red Flags

John discusses specific red flags that can attract IRS attention, including:

• Discrepancies in Income Reporting:

  John [24:26]: "If you live in a high-income area but report low income, the IRS will take notice."

• Excessive Deductible Expenses:

  John [24:26]: "Claiming high travel expenses without sufficient business justification is a red flag."

• Inconsistent Documentation:

  John [34:05]: "Clients sometimes try to claim unsupported deductions, like a dog as a dependent."

He advises maintaining thorough and accurate records, regular shredding of sensitive documents, and ensuring that all deductions are legitimate and well-documented.

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Personal Anecdotes and Professional Experiences

Throughout the episode, John shares personal stories that illustrate his approach to accounting and client relations:

• Encountering Fraudulent Claims:

  John [34:05]: "A client brought in trash bags full of unopened envelopes... It turned out her husband had passed away, and we helped her organize her taxes."

• Dealing with IRS Roadblocks Abroad:

  John [17:12]: "In El Salvador, we faced a makeshift roadblock with men armed with M16s. It turned out they just needed a ride, but it was nerve-wracking."

These experiences highlight John's commitment to ethical practices and his ability to handle unexpected challenges with professionalism.

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Parenting and Hobbies

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around John’s role as a parent and his efforts to balance his son's passion for kart racing with safety and responsibility.

Daniel Tosh [36:00]: "I was infatuated with that world as a child. I didn't get to race... How is he doing?"

John [38:37]: "He's racing against kids older than him now, stepping up to bigger carts, and he has a great instinct for safety."

John also touches on the influence of his own upbringing and his desire to provide his children with opportunities he cherished.

---

Tax Advice and Tips

John offers practical advice for listeners preparing for tax season:

• Hire a Professional Accountant for Complex Finances:

  John [30:09]: "If you have the income level to afford a house, you should get someone to do your taxes."

• Stay Compliant and Avoid Audits:

  John [23:45]: "Ensure your financial activities are transparent and justified to minimize audit risks."

• Leverage Technology for Efficiency:

  John [19:00]: "Using technology in accounting speeds up processes and reduces errors."

He also addresses the evolving nature of tax laws, recommending continuous education and staying informed about changes to remain compliant.

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Conclusion

The episode wraps up with a light-hearted exchange between Daniel Tosh and John McLellan, blending humor with insightful discussions on taxes, personal interests, and the intricacies of balancing professional duties with personal passions. John’s candid sharing offers listeners a relatable perspective on navigating tax season while managing a dynamic personal life.

Notable Quotes:

• Daniel Tosh [22:17]: "But you're, but you are saying..."
• John [24:26]: "Disproportionate expenses can trigger IRS scrutiny."
• Daniel Tosh [28:35]: "I'm terrified of jail, though. The idea of jail."
• John [29:24]: "They're overpaying typically because that's what we do."

This episode serves as a comprehensive guide for anyone looking to demystify the complexities of tax season, offering both professional expertise and personal anecdotes that make the subject approachable and engaging.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Daniel Tosh]

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[Daniel Tosh]

Do you look down on people who use TurboTax?

[John]

No.

[Daniel Tosh]

Posh show, Posh show. Tosh show for show. Welcome to Tosh Show. Dan Tosh in the driver's seat. Got Ed Gosselin over there.

[John]

What's up there?

[Daniel Tosh]

Daniel? Oh man. Just trying to control this sweet rig. Keep it on the road. Daniel. Oh man, I am depleted from Valentine's Day. My goodness, my wife was all over me. Oh man, I got her a box of chocolate and some roses and she just. She couldn't have been more horned up. No, I didn't do that. We went and got massages Did a couple's massage in the morning. Early morning. It was nice. How's it. What'd you guys do? Yeah, same thing. I got some massages. You didn't do that. Did you go out for Valentine's Day? Yeah, we went to a wrestling tournament. All right, so you did nothing for Valentine's Day? Chocolate covered strawberries. Did you get her those for real? Yeah. No, you didn't. I did. Well, they're delicious. They're disgusting. Hand dipped strawberries and chocolate. You went to that fucking stupid store where flowers are fruit. What's that called?

[John]

Edible Arrangements.

[Daniel Tosh]

You went to Edible Arrangements? I didn't go to Edible. Eddie and I used to have this bit where we would go to Edible Arrangements. We would order like a. Like a hundred dollar bouquet. And then when they were boxing up, we're like, no, no, no, we're gonna eat here. And we'd just sit down in the front there. There was not. There's not like a table. But we just start eating the bouquet. And we'd just eat as much as we could. And they would act like, oh, you know, some people do that. Completely normal, baby. Without jobs.

[John]

Where.

[Daniel Tosh]

Pete, did you do anything for Valentine's Day?

[John]

We had fondue at the house.

[Daniel Tosh]

At the house? Guess what, Pete? We did fondue at the house too.

[John]

Oh, my.

[Daniel Tosh]

We did that night with the kids. That was their part. We did fondue with the kids. About you, John, did you do anything with your wife?

[John]

Yeah, we got. We. We got a cake.

[Daniel Tosh]

Kids are into cake right now, so.

[John]

Any cake arrangement that can be made, we. We make sure to do it.

[Daniel Tosh]

Wait, wait. So you just fucking wait? You just. You made a cake or you just bought it? No, no, no. We bought.

[John]

We bought a Valentine's Day cake and we.

[Daniel Tosh]

What's a Val. What kind of cake is Valentine's Day cake? Did you go red velvet?

[John]

Oh, yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Red velvet. Okay.

[John]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

All right. I was sticking my nose up at your tradition. You could have gone cherry chip. I would not call this a tradition. We just. You ever tried cherry chip? I have not tried cherry chip. For the kids. It's a Duncan Hines box. I don't know if they still make it or not. I think it might have been replaced by the sprinkles cake. But they used to do cherry chip. I used to like that one. Dylan, did you do anything for Valentine's Day? Yeah. Watched Pride and Prejudice for the first time. For me.

[John]

For me in love. For me in love.

[Daniel Tosh]

I mean, I just tell you, I couldn't have been happier with Valentine's Day. I got away with not buying anything, though. That was. That was. I wasn't gonna get. I'm like, I'm not gonna buy you flowers right now. That's so dumb. Why am I buying flowers for Valentine's Day when every week at the farmer's market, we buy flowers? Right? Way better flowers. The house has flowers in it. The flowers are expensive, too. I know. Eggs. The price has dropped ever since Trump took over. But flowers, I need him to fix that next, now that he's got eggs. But I'm teasing about the. Are eggs cheap? Are they still expensive? No, really expensive. Oh, they're really expensive. Oh, I can't believe that hasn't been fixed yet. Well, at least he got the wall done. You know what time of the year it is now? Now that Valentine's is done, it's time for tax time. Tax time. Gotta get ready for the taxes. How can you live in California with those taxes? I love going on. This is my new favorite thing to kind of poke. The bear is ranting on how much I love California to the listeners that don't love California. By the way, have you spent real time in California? People that constantly shit on it? Because I've spent real time in your horrible towns. I've toured for 30 years. I was born in a different country. My parents traveled constantly. I moved 15 times before I was in high school. I know the other places. I'm saying you should give my opinion a little bit more weight. I've been poor in California. I've been rich in California, okay? Oh, but the wildfires and the earthquakes, just so expensive. The housing. You can't buy a house. It's just through the roof. That's why everyone's leaving to Florida. Okay, but don't say Florida's better. Florida's awful. I've lived there. And they have to have no income tax to entice people to live there. Imagine if Florida was so expensive, like they had huge taxes. You think people would be going there? No. But California, the most populated state by a mile, and it's expensive. I wonder why. Maybe what my father told me as a child actually is true. You get what you pay for. Oh, there's no income tax in Florida. This is too good to be true. Oh, you're right, it is. Because there's also hurricanes and red tide. Do you ever dealt with red tide? I remember that as a kid, I couldn't go outside for two weeks without just choking on the air. Oh, let's not forget. No, see, ums, that's always fun. How about the fact that the entire state is a swamp and every puddle has an alligator in it, but there's no tax. Did I mention the pollen? Oh, the pollen in Florida. It's lovely. It's on Zyrtec every day of my life. You get what you pay for, okay? California's great. It's expensive. Well, yeah, it's because it's great, right? Florida's garbage. And there's no income tax. Oh. Huh. Kind of makes sense when you lay it out like that.

[John]

It's all adding up.

[Daniel Tosh]

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[Ryan Seacrest]

Are you still quoting 30 year old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide, and every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now it pays to Discover. Learn [e-mail] credit card based on the February 2024 Nielsen report hello, it is Ryan and I was on a flight the other day playing one of my favorite social spin slot games on jumbaccasino.com I looked over the person sitting next, but you know what they were doing. They were also playing Chumba Casino. Everybody's loving having fun with it. Chumba Casino's home to hundreds of casino style games that you can play for free, anytime, anywhere. So sign up [e-mail] to claim your free welcome bonus. That's chumbacasino.com and live the Chumba Life. Sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary.

[John]

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[Daniel Tosh]

Car Show My guest today knows every Excel shortcut there is, so make sure you've got all your 1099s and W2s in order as we kick off tax season. Now if you haven't turned the show off yet out of boredom, then please welcome my producer's accountant, John.

[John]

Hi, how are you doing, Daniel?

[Daniel Tosh]

John I'm doing good and thank you for being here. We'll get into the accounting stuff later because the other stuff is way more interesting to me. Do you believe in ghost?

[John]

Oh yeah, you do. But I would say more spirits. I wouldn't call them ghosts.

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't know if I want my accountant believing in any of this stuff. I want him by the books the whole way. Growing up in Torrance, what was that like?

[John]

It was pretty interesting. Got to see a lot of changes.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you still live in the area?

[John]

Yeah, still live in the area. Not knowing Torrance, but Redondo Beach.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you consider Torrance South Bay?

[John]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh yeah, I don't. I always feel like they've glommed on. They get that tiny little sliver that hits the water and they say that there's South Bay, but I'm like, well.

[John]

There'S the beach cities and then there's South Bay.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay. By the way, growing up in Torrance, middle class, not tons of wealth.

[John]

No, no, no. It's really interesting, I would say at one point upper middle class, because when I was younger I had a chance to race motocross and I think pretty much all my dad's extra money went towards allowing me to go racing. And he was a general contractor, framing contractor. And then he decided he wanted to do that anymore. He just decided he wanted to be a craftsman and just have his own private shop and do small projects. And we pivoted. I remember, listen, we can't go racing anymore. Got me an Apple II computer and a surfboard and said, hey, figure out how to use this thing to play.

[Daniel Tosh]

Video games, by the way, it's very dangerous. Do you ever have any near death experiences on that bike?

[John]

I had a couple experiences, yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Just racing or did you do any of that freestyle stuff in the air?

[John]

No, no freestyle stuff. So I pretty much rode motors across when I was from 7 years old to almost 12 and really excelled at the age 7 to 11 year olds in the 80cc expert mini categories.

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't know anything about that world other than it was probably exciting.

[John]

Just think of it as like junior motocrossers.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you ever be Max?

[John]

Oh yeah. Loved it. Absolutely loved it.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you love the movie Rad?

[John]

Yes. That was good.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's the right answer. When did you start surfing?

[John]

Oh God, about 12 years old.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah. And where was the first place you surfed?

[John]

Avenue Y in Redondo.

[Daniel Tosh]

It was in the 80s, early 80s, cold and wetsuits were horrible. Did you have a wetsuit?

[John]

Yeah. No. See, my dad surfed with my older brother and they were surfing in the late 70s. Jerry Lopez was great and fantastic. I remember my dad tried to get me on a surf over at Doheny beach, trying to get out there and having fun. But I didn't have a wetsuit. It was cold, it was freezing cold. Then I got into, got a wetsuit and got a bogey board and I loved it, Absolutely loved it. I remember my first really good ride.

[Daniel Tosh]

Uh huh.

[John]

Yeah. Halama Beach Park.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[John]

In the summer. It was great.

[Daniel Tosh]

I grew up surfing and I've been, I've surfed throughout the world. Never had a bad experience, you know, that I couldn't handle. The only place in my life that I've ever been taken out of the water physically. And, like, told not was Redondo Breakwater.

[John]

That's funny.

[Daniel Tosh]

Isn't that crazy?

[John]

That is funny. Yeah, it's crazy. That is crazy.

[Daniel Tosh]

Those guys were like. And it was like. It was just two of them out. And I went out, and they were like.

[John]

They said, nope, you're not coming.

[Daniel Tosh]

They started dropping in on me, and then they literally ushered me to my car. Like, you tell you and your homies never to come here. And I'm like, oh, I just moved here from Florida. I don't have any homies.

[John]

Was it a really big day or a medium? Like, small day?

[Daniel Tosh]

Head high.

[John]

Okay. That's probably why. Interesting. Yeah. If it's big, they'll let you go out.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, you know what? I never went back because I was like, you know what? I don't care about your garbage wave.

[John]

It's. It's a great wave. When it's like this last winter in the round of December, it was fantastic. Phenomenal.

[Daniel Tosh]

Is it? Yeah, it seems to pinch, but it's.

[John]

Got to be huge. Like, huge huge. Like, dangerously big.

[Daniel Tosh]

I didn't like it, and I didn't care. And I was like, whatever, you guys. Idiots. Enjoy your shitty wave. People are so mean. That's the problem with surf. I've always thought that about surfing. I love everything about surfing except the surfers. I'm like, why do you guys have to act like this? The vibes are always, always. They always bother me. Anyway, not every place. Did you see the transformation of, like, Laduna Bay turn into what it is, or was it always like that? The Palos Verdes, the locals that, like, wouldn't allow anyone to ever surf their wave.

[John]

It's always been like that.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did you ever surf it?

[John]

I have a special spot, I don't disclose, that's kind of on the south side of Granada Bay. Hagerty's Point's really good.

[Daniel Tosh]

Hagerty's is great. Oh, yeah, I've surfed Haggerty's. Just almost perfect.

[John]

Oh, yeah. And what was the fun part is night surfing. Hags.

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't. I don't. I don't enjoy that. What's your favorite surf spot that you've surfed in the entire planet?

[John]

Punta Roca at La Liberta in El Salvador. Best wave I've ever got.

[Daniel Tosh]

Right or left?

[John]

It's all right.

[Daniel Tosh]

Point break.

[John]

Point break. It's better than Rincon and more consistent.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, sure. Ring is not consistent.

[John]

Yeah, it's. It's one of the warm and. Very warm. Very warm. Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Who doesn't Love a warm, right?

[John]

No. When I was really being into surfing in my 30s, I was going to El Salvador. I think we went, like, eight times.

[Daniel Tosh]

You ever have any scary experiences while traveling abroad for surfing? You're like, oh, put ourselves in a bad situation here.

[John]

Oh, yeah. So I got a good, good story. So we're in El Salvador, and we coming back, and we had a big. We had, like, a Nissan pickup. All of a sudden, we come to our. It was like a makeshift roadblock.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yes, I've been there.

[John]

And this was not an official roadblock. This was just a bunch of guys with M16s that looked like teenagers.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[John]

We got really nervous and started sweating. All of a sudden, they stopped the truck, get out, and start talking to us and all this stuff. And all they wanted was a ride into town to see if they could take a couple extra guys. And then we were just like, oh, my God. Okay, yeah, sure, no problem. Jump in the back of the truck. So then we got a ride into town with three military guys with M16s.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[John]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

I've been in a few places where they've had the makeshift roadblock, where it's just a chain dragged across the road. You have to stop. And then I, in my broken Spanish, just, like, open my wallet and like, say, like, oh, does 20 make that chain go away? And usually it does. And then I'm, like, on my way, and like, hey. And then everybody's good, but you're always like, so I don't mess around with it.

[John]

So was this in Baja California?

[Daniel Tosh]

I've done. I've done a few. Few of those encounters in Mexico. Yeah.

[John]

See, I wouldn't go to Baja California anymore after 40 years. All I said, no way.

[Daniel Tosh]

I brought my family last year, but.

[John]

I can tell you. But the other thing is Mexico. We spend a lot of time in the mainland. Mexico, like Mexico City, all the major cities. Monterey. Beautiful country, beautiful city. I know, like, super nice. The best food in the world.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's really good.

[John]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

I love everything about it. I think, you know, I'm excited for when it becomes part of America.

[John]

Well, they gotta change the golf, right? I don't know how they're gonna. Like, how they're gonna feel about that.

[Daniel Tosh]

They'll be fine. They'll be fine. They'll love it. You still surf or no? You got injured?

[John]

Little bit. Little bit.

[Daniel Tosh]

You old man surf now?

[John]

Old man surf now?

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you do, like old man, like, rich travel, boat trips?

[John]

Oh, I wish I would have, but I had a ankle injury when doing motocross so that's my other passion, Motocross.

[Daniel Tosh]

And motorsports and accounting. The Trinity. How did you get into accounting?

[John]

Oh, God, I was really good at computers and nobody knew how to use computers that well in accounting. And I said, oh my God, this is great. I know how to do this. So it was kind of like early, early 90s and I don't want to be a computer programmer. I thought, oh my God, that's just. Well, you tell I might as well become an accountant and the rest is history. Actually, I went. When I went to business school, I saw a really great opportunity. Kind of the shifting towards using technology to really speed things up and be efficient. And just latched onto that and used the skills that I had in technology and computers and just applied it to accounting and never look back.

[Daniel Tosh]

By the way, you went to Loyola Marymount, you grew up in Torrance and then you transferred to Cal State Long Beach. Have you ever been outside of your 30 mile zone?

[John]

Oh, yeah. So I had the opportunity to go to Indonesia and I was working for a nice guy at a palace Ferraris while I was in college and he sent me. It was a job opportunity. And I learned I was going to be near Bali and I said, I'll go if I can take three weeks off after the project.

[Daniel Tosh]

How long was the project?

[John]

Oh, the project was like two, three weeks. And I got to spend a month in Indonesia, surfed a place called Grajigen Jiland.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh yeah.

[John]

And lived in Bali for two, three months.

[Daniel Tosh]

I mean, that's amazing.

[John]

Oh, it was amazing.

[Daniel Tosh]

And that's at a better because right now it's like it's too crowded and. But then I'm guessing it was phenomenal.

[John]

What was funny is I had a job offer and the guys wanted me to stay and I said, look, I gotta go back and finish college.

[Daniel Tosh]

You should have stayed. I think everything about you is cool. Accept the job. Is there anything cool about accounting?

[John]

Oh, yeah. So the funny thing is, most of my time isn't doing really accounting. It's talking to people about their lives. It's sitting there just talking to them and asking them, hey, what happened this year? What's going on? What transactions did you have financially that impacted you?

[Daniel Tosh]

Are you trying to beat the system at all times?

[John]

We try to push, we try to make sure that people don't pay any more taxes than they legally have to. But we want to keep him out of jail.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, you said the only person your father respected was his accountant. Now I don't want to play like an armchair Psychiatrist here. But does any part of you think that you got into this pressure to gain your father's respect?

[John]

Oh, after the fact, yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did you do your parents taxes?

[John]

Yeah, after I started going to college and took a couple classes in taxation.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah. And they let you see what they made because my, my dad, if I ever asked my father, even when I was older, how, how much do you make or enough? None of your business. What are you a cop? Those are the answers I got from my father. Yeah, I'm a cop, dad.

[John]

You know, I always say I don't think that I had to worry, really worry about that.

[Daniel Tosh]

They're just so there. My dad was so weird about it. And it's like my dad had like, you know, a very middle class family. I always end up getting like years down the road money back because I've overpaid. And I talk to my accountant like, guys, why are we so conservative all the time? That they're like, hey, you paid too much. And they're like, no, that's what we do. We're cons. I'm terrified of jail, though. The idea of jail.

[John]

Yeah, no, no, I use that expression because I try to terrify clients. Because the main thing is we want to make sure that you don't get audited. You don't want the nasty letters from the irs.

[Daniel Tosh]

I've been audited twice.

[John]

Well, there you go. So you can.

[Daniel Tosh]

But here's what, here's what I've learned. Tell me if it's true or false. They used to say that audits were completely random. Then they realized that the irs, it's wasting too much auditing poor people, so they stopped that. And now they do audit just the wealthy.

[John]

Oh, no, on the contrary, they audit wealthy. They audit people randomly and they audit poor people.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, but you're, but you are saying.

[John]

And I'm not going to say not poor people, what they do is they audit. Let's say you're in the Malibu zip code and then you show that you make $10,000 and you don't pay any taxes. How is it that you can afford to live in Malibu or you know, in the beach communities and not pay any taxes?

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't know. Ask Pierre.

[John]

Well, there you go. So though, what they do is they're looking for those people that, wait a sec, you got two houses, you got these cars, you got those, you got all these assets and you live in a nice neighborhood, but you don't show that you have any income.

[Daniel Tosh]

But then they also. Just randomly.

[John]

And then they randomly Pick people. Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

I was surprised the amount of time it took. A ton of time, and they didn't find anything, but then they started actually going like, oh, you took a jet to your show in Vegas. Was everybody that sat on that jet part of your job? It was just crazy how, like, needling they were trying to get for me.

[John]

Yeah, that's their job.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, it isn't. Bunch of jerks. Do you like to say something just didn't add up, or do you prefer fudge the numbers or cook the books?

[John]

I would say things don't add up. We need to fix this. Something's not right here.

[Daniel Tosh]

How many times have you been like this? Something just isn't adding up.

[John]

It doesn't smell right. It doesn't pass the smell test.

[Daniel Tosh]

How many shredders do you own at your office?

[John]

We don't really shred everything. We just collect it all and then we take it to the shredder every two, three months.

[Daniel Tosh]

I just didn't know if you guys had, like, a system. Like, press a button, guys, they're coming. Get rid of everything. This is what. This is what I want my accountant to be like. I want my accountant to be like, go, go. Is the IRS broken or no?

[John]

It could use some fixing. It could use some fixing.

[Daniel Tosh]

What are some of the red flags the IRS is looking for when looking at someone's returns?

[John]

Disproportionate expenses. Somebody makes a say. They. They put down they made $10,000 a small project, and then they try to write off 50.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, man. I know that I sent. Because I will spend almost every cent I make to travel places that I want to go to, and I'll like, oh, come out even. That's fine.

[John]

But why are you traveling?

[Daniel Tosh]

To go to the place. Like a vacation that's paid for.

[John]

Yeah, but it's got to be business. It's got to be for business.

[Daniel Tosh]

I'm traveling for business. But the only reason I'm. I will do a show some places is because it's a place that my family wants to go. Does that make sense?

[John]

No.

[Daniel Tosh]

Stand up comedy. That's all I do. So if I. I want to. My wife wants to go to Portugal. I'm gonna do a show in Lisbon for the expats.

[John]

Oh, okay. Now, if you're doing the show there.

[Daniel Tosh]

I am.

[John]

Yeah. Then, okay, sure. Travel there.

[Daniel Tosh]

All of the money that that show makes, I spend 150% to do the trip. That's a red flag.

[John]

Well, it depends on your overall income.

[Daniel Tosh]

The income's not there anymore. I'm just living off. I'm living off the savings.

[John]

So the IRS is gonna. If they did come talk to you and they say, daniel, we need to speak to you. They're gonna ask you, so how many days was it for business?

[Daniel Tosh]

What? One night.

[John]

And how many days did you stay?

[Daniel Tosh]

14.

[John]

Okay. Then they're gonna disallow it. You're in trouble.

[Daniel Tosh]

You serious? Ah, this is bad. In 2025 in LA, is it better to rent or buy a home?

[John]

Rent.

[Daniel Tosh]

Why is accounting so complicated and confusing in this country?

[John]

Oh, that's a great question. So it's because politicians write the laws, not accountants.

[Daniel Tosh]

I mean, do you actually enjoy your job?

[John]

Yeah. Yeah, I do enjoy my. The best part of my job, again, is their relationships and talking to clients and finding out what's going on and really kind of becoming part of people's family. Over years and years of doing their.

[Daniel Tosh]

Taxes, how often are they changing the laws, the tax laws?

[John]

About every two years, but at least every new president.

[Daniel Tosh]

Are things going to get great for us now for us wealthy people?

[John]

I would say that because California is.

[Daniel Tosh]

Going to get their taxes no matter what.

[John]

Well, you got two issues. You got California taxes, which is some of the highest taxes in the nation. You know, you get the combination of your state taxes and your federal taxes. It can be a lot.

[Daniel Tosh]

If I have a property in, let's just say, hypothetically, in Nevada, how much do I have to actually live there to stop paying California taxes?

[John]

Over 185 days, and then I can.

[Daniel Tosh]

Then I can pull out of California completely.

[John]

No, you have. That has to be the place where you hang your hat. So you got to live there, hang your hat there, vote there, have a driver's license there, have your cars there, have your kids go to school there. Yeah, that's the tough one. Yeah, that's the real tough one.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, you had me. I could pull off almost all of that until you said school. You can't have your kids go to school in Carson City. No, no.

[John]

You could if you wanted to be gunslinger.

[Daniel Tosh]

So that's actually not a bad idea. How many Social Security numbers do you have the ability to sell on the dark web?

[John]

Oh, zero.

[Daniel Tosh]

Look at that. What's your favorite number?

[John]

Eight.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's the dumbest question, and I'm glad you answered it. If we needed a way to drastically simplify the tax codes across the board, what would your pitch be?

[John]

Get rid of alternate minimum tax.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, I don't even know what that means.

[John]

It's a complicated extra formula that accountants have to Go through and figure out your tax returns and eliminate all your deductions and redo your taxes. And you have to pay a minimum tax.

[Daniel Tosh]

So you want that eliminated?

[John]

Oh, that'd be great. Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you hate Ben Franklin for saying there's nothing certain except for death and taxes?

[John]

No. Okay. No, it's helped my business.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, how do income taxes work in other countries? Do they have a more simple system?

[John]

Actually, they do, but they also pay a lot more taxes. Believe it or not, United States doesn't have that bad of taxes when you compare to Europe.

[Daniel Tosh]

I've always just wrapped my head around I'm gonna lose 50% of every dollar I make. And I'm kind of like, okay with that. That's a lot, I know, but I'm okay with it. I'm like, if I can live off 50% of what, every dollar I make, then I'm gonna be okay. So that. That was. That was kind of the goal.

[John]

Okay. You may want to talk to your accountant.

[Daniel Tosh]

Nah, I don't want to talk to him.

[John]

Or maybe he doesn't talk to you. That's a problem.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's just a long conversation, and then I have to pretend like I understand stuff.

[John]

And I don't take them surfing.

[Daniel Tosh]

They don't surf. They're not those kind of accountants.

[John]

Charlie don't surf.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, Charlie don't surf. Is there any new laws on the books this year that you're excited about?

[John]

There's gonna be a lot of changes coming up.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you have to pass new tests when they change things or just be familiar with the laws?

[John]

Actually, we gotta have 40 hours of continuing education every single year.

[Daniel Tosh]

Every year?

[John]

Every year.

[Daniel Tosh]

Ugh.

[John]

Oh, yeah, school.

[Daniel Tosh]

That alone will make me not wanna be an accountant. Every year having to do 40 hours. How long does that take? Well, sometimes you break it up into, like. Like a month.

[John]

Oh, it takes? Well, you could do it all over the year, but now you get to travel for it, too.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, some nerd convention. Is that what you're talking about? Oh, no. Where is this held?

[John]

Oh, they got them all over the United States. You can go to the. Probably the best. So probably the best one we used to go to was in the South Shore of Hawaii on the Honolulu.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, yeah. You guys are living it up.

[John]

Yeah, we try to.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's pretty good.

[John]

I think I was able to sneak away during break and get a couple waves.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you look down on people who use Turbo Tax?

[John]

No.

[Daniel Tosh]

Should people be.

[John]

No, but I kind of feel bad for them. It's just because they Just don't know. And they don't know what kind of trouble they're getting themselves into.

[Daniel Tosh]

Nobody should do their own taxes.

[John]

God, nobody that has make some money.

[Daniel Tosh]

What's the cutoff where it's like, okay, you need to hire a professional accountant to do your taxes at what, what income level?

[John]

I would say if you have the income level to afford a house, then you should be getting somebody to do your tax.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, that makes sense.

[John]

You got investments, you have stocks, you certain to do rental properties. You know, things are starting to get a little more complicated.

[Daniel Tosh]

Is your job basically to outsmart the IRS every year?

[John]

No, it's basically just helping clients so that they don't get in trouble.

[Daniel Tosh]

How late can you actually file? I feel like I never file. I always get an extension every single year. Is that normal?

[John]

I wouldn't recommend it. I'd recommend filing on time.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's like every year they're like, yeah, no, you get. We get.

[John]

You're excited, you know, but you're lucky this year.

[Daniel Tosh]

Why?

[John]

Things changed. The government's giving relief to anybody in LA County.

[Daniel Tosh]

Because of the fires.

[John]

Because of the fires.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, what are these. These people? I mean, do you. I'm guessing that you've experienced people that have had total losses before. I mean, what do they do?

[John]

There's going to be a lot of questions, a lot of challenges because the IRS does let you write off losses if you're out of pocket. So if you're actually out of pocket money from the loss, you're going to be able to take that as tax write offs. Okay, so there's going to be a lot of people with the Palisades fire and Altadena fire, They're going to need help.

[Daniel Tosh]

Where are you on taxing churches in this country? I'm a huge believer in any church that has over 100 people that go to it should be taxed. These mega churches where the. The snake oil salesman rolls around in a, like a Bentley, I'm like, this is nonsense. You don't want to get yourself in trouble. I understand.

[John]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna stay off that one.

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't. I think the churches should be taxes. The Church of Scientology. That's just complete nonsense. No pastor should drive in anything nicer than a Honda Accord. That's what I say. That's my barometer. If your church is making too much money, what about tax? Tax, Dina? Crypto.

[John]

What about crypto?

[Daniel Tosh]

You. Do you have any clients that are invested into crypto?

[John]

Yeah, I do.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's a challenge I mean, is it, do you real. First, first question. Is it real?

[John]

Is it real? Yeah, it's real.

[Daniel Tosh]

I mean, do you have. Do you understand it completely? Are you invested in crypto?

[John]

Yeah, I have some crypto.

[Daniel Tosh]

Uh huh.

[John]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

All right. Billionaires, are they getting taxed heavily enough or no?

[John]

Yes. Oh, brother. See, people don't realize you're a homeowner and you have probably a rental property. You pay all these property taxes. You don't think billionaires pay taxes. They just pay in other forms. They paid in payroll taxes, they paid in property taxes. They're supporting the community with their infrastructure and giving jobs and doing a lot of different things. But it's interesting that when you talk about taxes, the problem is we got too much taxes at the low level, meaning why are we paying so much in gas? I went to Florida, I think it was like $2.30 a gallon. We make the gas here in California. We got Chevron, Mobil, Arco here and it's like close to $5 a gallon. Why?

[Daniel Tosh]

It's the taxes. Let me tell you something. If you want to spend more time driving around in Florida, all the power to you. As someone who is from there and has all their family there, I think the gas should be cheaper to encourage people to get the fuck out. Most places in the world, you buy a home and it's a good investment and 30 years later it's worth more. That's not true in Florida all the time. Florida, you can buy a home and in 30 years it's worth the exact same or less because they built a brand new subdivision just right next to it and they're like, yeah, hey, now let's just make this, these houses look completely shitty. And there's the new shiny subdivision. So, you know, yeah, they have no income taxes, but there's some other taxes there that they have you on the hook for. Talk about some of the dumb things your clients have tried to write off that you're like, guys, this isn't going to fly.

[John]

Probably their dog.

[Daniel Tosh]

What do you mean?

[John]

They're like, can I claim a dog as a dependent?

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, hey, that sounds like Pete over there.

[John]

And I'm like, I don't think we're the right fit.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you drop clients?

[John]

Yeah. Oh yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

All the time you're like this, this. That won't work.

[John]

Oh, I tried to drop, but every year I just go through the list and said, okay, who's, who needs to go into probation and who should we just drop?

[Daniel Tosh]

What about. Don't. You aren't you so thankful the days of boxes of receipts are over.

[John]

You know, we still get a few collections.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, I can't imagine how stupid that is.

[John]

You know, a story is I had a client come in referral. She brought in two trash bags, two trash bags full of envelopes that never been opened.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, good. I love it.

[John]

So I gave it to my staff, opened all this stuff up. And also my staff's like, john, John, come here. I'm like, what? What's going on? She's like, is this right? I'm like, what? I said, I think this woman has $40 million.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[John]

And I'm like, what? So I called the lady up, mom, do you have $40 million? She's like, I hope so.

[Daniel Tosh]

She was testing you guys.

[John]

No, she. Her husband passed away two, three years prior.

[Daniel Tosh]

I know she killed him and she just needed help.

[John]

And so we got all our stuff, opened all the envelopes, went through all the paperwork, got her all sorted out.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, that's pretty. I guess you kept her as a client then.

[John]

Yeah, she was a pretty good client. It was the best part was just helping somebody out. And you just never know when you start digging through all the paperwork and getting people sorted out what you're going.

[Daniel Tosh]

To find sometimes, but usually now you just have clients that you've had for years and years and years. And so it's not, it's not that you're not digging through garbage bags for the most part.

[John]

No. No. But, you know, we all, we still have what they call the, the shoebox clients that come in and we still have really old school clients and we still have cutting edge technology clients that wanted to put, send us everything PDF and technology and, you know, give it all to us.

[Daniel Tosh]

Your son was born on tax day.

[John]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did you plan that?

[John]

No, he was supposed to come the day after. Actually.

[Daniel Tosh]

I know your son heavily into cart racing.

[John]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Now, I was infatuated with that world as a child. I didn't get to race. I had a go kart. I had go karts, Briggs and Stratton, little, you know, whatever. My dad would get me 5 horsepower. That was like the biggest engine I ever had. But I was, I was good, I could actually, I was good at racing. It just, you know, we'd go to little parks that, that had little racetracks. My brother just horrible at it. Every time he got behind the wheel, almost certain death. It's just unbelievable how, how, how some people can race and some people can't race. Anyway, your kid now, Apple doesn't fall far from the Tree racing. Is it terrifying watching him go, oh, no.

[John]

But I gotta tell you, the. Always nervous on the first turn.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[John]

Last weekend he was in Orlando, Florida at the Orlando Kart center. They had 42 drivers on the track at one time in the grid. When they go, how old is he? First of all, he's only 11.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, and when did he start?

[John]

Started at 7. We got him a go kart on his seventh birthday.

[Daniel Tosh]

When you were buying him these type of toys, there's no way that it was like, no, no, he should be doing this at this age. Like, I always look at things. I have a five year old and it's like, oh, this, this little power wheel says for eight and up. And I'm like, yeah, he's fine. Let him go for it.

[John]

Yeah, that's good.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[John]

I told him when he was really young, maybe probably three or four years old, I said, hey, you learn how to ride a bicycle without training wheels, I'll get you a motorcycle.

[Daniel Tosh]

What in the world? The greatest dad ever. You should be locked up.

[John]

All right, so we're camping in Mammoth and he's got his bicycle training wheels. He says, dad, take the training wheels off. I'm like, what? He takes training wheels off because it was getting stuck in the dirt and he just starts riding his bike. So I said, okay. So about six months later, I got him a PW50 Yamaha little motorcycle. Started riding that.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did you tone it down or just let him have it? Let him have it. Okay, yeah, yeah.

[John]

No PW50. Great starter bike for somebody who wants to get into motorcycling. And he got a bigger bike about a year later, and he had a bit of an accident, so we went to the motocross track. He ended up going off the track, was going to run into a parked car, but slid under the car.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay. I guess that's a good instinct.

[John]

Well, yeah, no, it's. It saved him. It scared the heck out of us. We, you know, after a quick trip to the hospital, I think his mom's like, hey, can we get him something a little closer to the ground? Let's get him four wheels. So his mom's the one that really pushed to go to the go karting.

[Daniel Tosh]

Interesting.

[John]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

And now I'm guessing that is a horrible, costly hobby that she regrets every day of her life now.

[John]

No, on contrast, she's the one that's like, kind of fanatical about it. She wants to go to Europe. She's like, he's going F1.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, she's. It's. It's the pageant mom. But for cart moms.

[John]

Oh yeah. It's like. So the funny thing, you think soccer moms are bad?

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah.

[John]

No, no, no, no. The cart moms are way, way more intense.

[Daniel Tosh]

How do you get the cart there?

[John]

So we have a team, Nash Motorsports, that helps us out. And so they, when they set up, they have their own tent. It's a mobile shop. They all have anywhere from five to 15 drivers a weekend under their tent.

[Daniel Tosh]

Is there pit stops during his races?

[John]

No. So it's an all out sprint race. So what they'll do is they'll go on for final race will be about 20 laps and they'll do about sometimes a little less than a minute or just over a minute a lap. And their average lap time, Average speed's around 48, 52 miles an hour.

[Daniel Tosh]

Is he burning through tires?

[John]

Oh, yeah. Tires are crazy. Race weekend or an event, maybe four sets of tires.

[Daniel Tosh]

Does anyone else ever use his cart or. No, that's his cart.

[John]

Ah, it's his cart. Yeah. Most people have their cart and then it's set up for their body and their size and the seats just for them.

[Daniel Tosh]

What's the minimum investment to get a sticker on his helmet?

[John]

Oh, that's. Well happy to talk to anybody, but.

[Daniel Tosh]

Right now we're okay.

[John]

All right.

[Daniel Tosh]

I like where this is going.

[John]

Basically we're looking for marketing partnerships.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[John]

So instead of sponsorships, we got a couple years. You know, dad's doing okay, we're taking care of him, but he really needs the marketing partnerships to kind of get to the next level.

[Daniel Tosh]

All right, well, that, that I can't.

[John]

Help because he's, he's going to be turning 12. He's racing 16 year old kids. So he just stepped up to the bigger full size carts and any F1 driver. They all started here. This is what they did.

[Daniel Tosh]

And is he good?

[John]

He's actually pretty good, yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

I mean, how can you tell if a kid is good or not when.

[John]

You come out and you're racing against all the kids in North America and you can place and put it up there. It's, it's a challenge.

[Daniel Tosh]

Does he have like trophies and stuff like that?

[John]

Oh, God, he has got room full of trophies.

[Daniel Tosh]

Is his dream to be like a NASCAR racer or formula one?

[John]

Formula one?

[Daniel Tosh]

No. Look at you. You got a classy family.

[John]

Well, I appreciate that.

[Daniel Tosh]

And when do you squash his dream?

[John]

Probably he's about 18 years old because 18, I'm the big believer that he's got. He's got to want it and he's got to put the effort into it.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, I watched that one movie where that guy that played video games became a real F1 racer.

[John]

Oh yeah, it was a great movie. Loved it.

[Daniel Tosh]

Was it?

[John]

Oh, it's, it's his favorite movie by far. I took it to my knees like, oh my God, that's. He loved it. Just.

[Daniel Tosh]

What about the one scene, it was a little tragic, you know, when he almost died.

[John]

Oh yeah, that's part of, part of the sport.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's why I get my kid, I'm getting my kid into tennis, you know, trying to force tennis on him.

[John]

So wait, wait, you're not gonna have your son surf?

[Daniel Tosh]

I want my son to not be afraid of the ocean. And if he loves the ocean, that, that's a bonus and he's gonna be competent. I'm gonna teach him how to surf, I teach him how to snowboard, all that stuff. Here's my problem with surfing that I always have. You know, I've got a son and a daughter. But like surfing is the only sport and I'm sure it's not where a 10 year old kid that can surf good is sitting in the lineup talking to a, you know, 50 year old accountant, talking to a 20 year old drug addict. Like it's, it's a weird world where you're like, you're, you're. And you hear conversations that you normally, if a kid is like into playing baseball, he's just around, you know, his other little 10 year old kids. I just, that, that mix of, of different people, it made me grow up a little too quick.

[John]

I think I never had those conversations when I was 12 years old.

[Daniel Tosh]

Come on, you knew about drugs way before other people because of the surfers that you hung out with.

[John]

No, no, I knew drugs because my own older brother. Come on, like, I'm not going that road.

[Daniel Tosh]

Right, okay, but you understand my concern. It makes some sense. You. I've seen lineups where I'm like, oh, when I see like a young kid in the water and I hear somebody talking, I'm like, hey knucklehead, shut up. There's a child here.

[John]

You know, I think, well, depending how old your kid is, they're going to hear it. You're not going to be able to protect it if he's 12 years old, he's hearing everything at school.

[Daniel Tosh]

Fine, what about when my daughter, let's just say she's 16 years old and she's got a great ass and now she's paddling around and you know what they Paddle around in.

[John]

She's going to wear a full suit.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's the thing.

[John]

All black, full suit.

[Daniel Tosh]

She's gotta get, she's gotta wear a full suit. If you want to surf, fine, but you have to wear a full suit every day because I'm not letting some creep old man paddle up behind you.

[John]

Right.

[Daniel Tosh]

These are my concerns. By the way, everybody's on the show gets a gift. I cannot wait to give you some gifts. Now this is my first gift. This is from Bill Allen, the star of Rad.

[John]

Oh, nice.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's the official double Blu Ray dvd. I don't think you have a DVD player. No one does, but it's just, it's, it's a specialty. He. I'm also giving you from Rad. Autographed by Bill Allen Crew Jones.

[John]

Oh my God. That's pretty cool.

[Daniel Tosh]

Uh huh. That is cool. Now let me tell you something else that I, I was going to give you this today. He gave me the official T shirt.

[John]

Oh, that's pretty cool.

[Daniel Tosh]

But I'm not giving it to you. I couldn't get rid of it.

[John]

You're gonna keep it?

[Daniel Tosh]

I'm gonna keep it.

[John]

All right.

[Daniel Tosh]

But I just, I was like, is.

[John]

That an extra small boys for you?

[Daniel Tosh]

No, no. What are you talking about? I'm huge. He took a shot, he took a shot. John took a shot at me. That's fine. This, this is a toss show hat that, that didn't get approved by our merch department, but yeah, you're going to have it.

[John]

You're going to. So I got the one that. The reject.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, we're not going to use that one. But get that off my desk. You're going to love this. Okay, Just throw all that on the floor.

[John]

I'll be sure to give that somebody.

[Daniel Tosh]

You give it to somebody. That was a nice gift. You ready for this gift?

[John]

Yes.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay. I don't know if your son's gonna want this or if you're gonna need.

[John]

It for tickets to F1.

[Daniel Tosh]

I can't wait to give this. This, this was like $300. Now my wife's cousin bought me this for Christmas this year. And I was so mad at him. I was like, why would I want this? And it's the same guy. Remember that time I had that little thing?

[John]

Is this Fousey?

[Daniel Tosh]

No, it says Cooley.

[John]

Oh, Coolio.

[Daniel Tosh]

Coolio. I don't know. Not the wrapper. Hold on, let me explain this to you. He first invented this chapstick holder cooler and I thought, whatever, I, I use it. I like it, fine. But now he invented this thing. This thing has like a battery charger for your phone speaker place. It has like a built in cooler. I go, you want me to walk around with a refrigerator on my back? I'm like you. It's an appliance. This is an appliance. This backpack is 300 bucks. Never been used. Yeah, there's like, look, feel that. There's like a battery charger.

[John]

If I was a big tailgater.

[Daniel Tosh]

And that's what I'm talking about, the CART racing.

[John]

But, but, but we don't do. No, we can.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, no, you're gonna love it.

[John]

No, because I can't, I can't have any alcohol, so I can't even have alcohol on the grid.

[Daniel Tosh]

John, this doesn't have to have alcohol. You have sparkling water, okay. You're gonna, you're gonna love it. Your son's gonna love this. He's gonna think it's neat.

[John]

Where's your producer? Can I give it to your executive?

[Daniel Tosh]

No, no. This is a tax write off for.

[John]

Me to give away. I gotta regift.

[Daniel Tosh]

You can't re gift this.

[John]

I gotta.

[Daniel Tosh]

By the way, the size of this thing, you would think that the cooler portion is huge, by the way. Oh, it also floats. It also floats. And it's, it's waterproof. So it's like that's, that's the whole thing on the inside, like just holds a six pack. He got me this and he was mad at me immediately because I was like, I hate it. It's a good zipper. Oh, that zipper's so hard.

[John]

I could now I could see a purpose for this.

[Daniel Tosh]

Good. John.

[John]

Not for me.

[Daniel Tosh]

No. John, you gotta give this to your child.

[John]

I could think of. I can.

[Daniel Tosh]

You know, you're gonna find a client that's gonna need this. Look at that thing. Why would he think I want to walk around with a refrigerator on my back?

[John]

I can tell you where this is perfect for you.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, no.

[John]

When you go surfing and you're gonna spend the day.

[Daniel Tosh]

I'm being rude right now. John, I got you this.

[John]

Thank you.

[Daniel Tosh]

You're welcome.

[John]

Thank you. That. It's a really wonderful gift.

[Daniel Tosh]

Hold on.

[John]

That is one of the most interesting gifts I've ever received.

[Daniel Tosh]

And the guy that gave to me, his name is John, who also gave me these. And I don't want these either. You cook?

[John]

No, no.

[Daniel Tosh]

You're gonna love this then.

[John]

I don't cook at all.

[Daniel Tosh]

I hate the smell of vinegar. These are like these. They're all sealed. They're like Flavored vinegar you're supposed to add to your. While you're cooking. This one's red miso, you know, this one looks like it's open. This one's turmeric vinegar. This one's black garlic vinegar.

[John]

What, did you get stuck with a white elephant gift?

[Daniel Tosh]

No, this is. I don't want these, John. But I just thought they would go with the cooler.

[John]

Thank you.

[Daniel Tosh]

Because he bought me both of these things here.

[John]

Let's stick it in the cooler, please.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, they don't need to be cool here. Just.

[John]

Are you sure? Okay. Why don't we just.

[Daniel Tosh]

You know, who's gonna want those?

[John]

I have no idea. What the.

[Daniel Tosh]

What is this, John? It's somebody's business, okay? So don't shit on it.

[John]

It's all right. I'm not gonna say anything. I think it's good.

[Daniel Tosh]

Just take it home.

[John]

Thank you.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you discourage your clients from bad ideas, like investing, or do you just let them do what they want?

[John]

Oh, God, no. I try to discourage them.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[John]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

So many times I come up with ideas, and I'm just like. They're like, well, if you think that's what you should do. And I'm like, guys, I need you to tell me to knock it off.

[John]

No. If it's a bad idea. I tell clients all the time.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, that's good.

[John]

So give me one of your ideas. What was one of your ideas that got kind of bad ideas?

[Daniel Tosh]

I started a clothing line. That was a bad idea. Shouldn't done that.

[John]

No. Did you have a restaurant ever?

[Daniel Tosh]

No.

[John]

That's a tough business.

[Daniel Tosh]

No. I'm always terrified of when I'm going to stop working and, like, lose my business managers because I'm like, I don't know how to do anything. And I think the system is set up for us to not know how to do anything so that we're dependent on outside sources.

[John]

I don't think. I think it's just everybody should specialize on whatever they do, stick on what they do. Like, I don't go work on my cars anymore. I could.

[Daniel Tosh]

You can tinker.

[John]

I could tinker, but, you know, I'm not gonna go work on cars. I do. I'm an accountant.

[Daniel Tosh]

You're an accountant? Do you say that when you're at the track yelling at your kids to cut somebody off?

[John]

No, but I told other dads, like, oh, I'm just accountant. I don't know what the heck's going on.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh. Have you ever gone to the. The F1 race in Vegas now?

[John]

No. No. I haven't done the F1. I haven't actually been. I've been to the Indy car race in Long Beach.

[Daniel Tosh]

Forget Indy. But, but that Vegas track that they set up on the street that goes down the Strip.

[John]

Yeah. Incredible.

[Daniel Tosh]

That was. Well, it was incredible. But the traffic that they created to create that core.

[John]

But it's worth it.

[Daniel Tosh]

For who? Not for me. And then when I'm trying to get to my.

[John]

I'm not a fan of F1.

[Daniel Tosh]

Trying to get to my, my casino gig. Now I got to take a 45 minute ride. That used to be a five minute ride.

[John]

You don't have a helicopter?

[Daniel Tosh]

No, I don't have a helicopter. I need a helicopter.

[John]

Get these guys to get you a helicopter.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, that's what podcasts are for. Helicopter money is rubbing racing. Is that still a term? Do people say it's a little term.

[John]

They sidepod a little bit.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do they? Yeah. Is there drafting in kart racing?

[John]

There is. It's a big thing, actually. If it's on a big long track, you need the draft. If you get a draft behind somebody else, it might be three, four, ten. And you think, what, what's four tenths of a second? Well, you take four tenths and then all of a sudden you're doing ten laps.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, no, here goes your math nerd stuff.

[John]

Yeah, then you're like four. Then at the finish line, you're four seconds ahead of the guy.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's pretty good.

[John]

Well, I'll just say if anybody's interested about his racing or looking into stuff, it's John. John Racer.

[Daniel Tosh]

You named him after Florence?

[John]

No, no, but, but I, I do like, I do like John Florence. He's a super cool guy. Everybody in our family is pretty much named John. I had a cousin and when I was growing up, I called him John John. Super nice guy. I loved him. And my dad's name's John. My name's John.

[Daniel Tosh]

And the same with my father in law. It's so weird. He makes everyone in their family do John. And the guy that gave you that cooler that you're gonna love, his name is John John.

[John]

Oh, his name's John John.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah.

[John]

Okay.

[Daniel Tosh]

Look at that. Or just a bunch of John. It's, it's weird that that's the name that always goes, gets passed on forever. My mom called me John John. She did? Yeah. You're a John John too. All right, good stuff. All right, John, thank you very much for being on the show.

[John]

My pleasure.

[Daniel Tosh]

Thank you.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[John]

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[Cindy Crawford]

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[Daniel Tosh]

Lenovo Lenovo Paw Show I want to thank John for filing all the taxes for the good, honest, definitely not cheating employees of Tosh show how you filing. Carl, you got any dependents no. All right, let's plug away. We got the tossshowstore.com. you got Eddie's tour and my tour. We're adding shows. Hey, Carl, guess what? Going to Portugal. Yes, we are, Lisbon. I couldn't be more excited to see you, so please buy a ticket. So my agent stops calling me every day saying, hey, have you learned Portuguese yet? And I'm like, I'm working on it. I think it's time to do our free plug. Hit the free plug music. Oh, Little Big Band. This week's free plug is for a retirement community called Watermere at Round Rock in Round Rock, Texas. You ever been to Round Rock? I have. Oh, outside of Dallas? North of Austin. North of Austin? Yep. That's Waco. Is it in between Waco and Austin? Yeah. Okay, so you got Waco, then you got Watermere, then you got Austin. So if you're in Austin, you want to, you know, you're a young, cool person. Bring your grandparents here to Watermere. You can get them in for 2,500 bucks a month. That's the starting rate. That's going to be. That's not going to be that special. But, you know, it depends on how old they are. If they're really old, they're not going to know the difference. You don't need to get a suite. The place is 55 and up. So it's crazy to me to think I could move into a retirement community in six years. How old are you, Ed? I'll be 55 in May. In May, you can move into this place. Roll in there. That is. So that's where I live now. Wanna be. The area's newest premier retirement community for active senior adults, featuring customizable lifestyle options. That means if you're someone that's like, listen, I just want to stay in and eat Jell O. We've got a plan for you. But if you're somebody, like, listen, I just wanna go out and bang every widow that's on my floor. Well, they've probably got something. They got social clubs. What do they got? Educational workshops? Check. Social clubs? Check. Even game night. Oh, I love a game night. Carl, come on, man. We're talking about a retirement community. Anyway, I'm excited that Watermere at Round Rock is now accepting old people ages 55 and up. All right, see you next week. The following is a high five moment from high5casino.com.

[John]

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[Daniel Tosh]

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[Ryan Seacrest]

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[John]

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[Daniel Tosh]

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[Ryan Seacrest]

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[John]

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[Daniel Tosh]

With Greenlight, you can send money to.

[John]

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[Daniel Tosh]

And keep an eye on what your kids are spending.

[John]

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[Daniel Tosh]

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