Podcast Summary

Podcast: Totally Booked with Zibby
Host: Zibby Owens
Guest: Abigail Pogrebin
Episode: Abigail Pogrebin, IT TAKES TWO TO TORAH
Air Date: December 10, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode features Zibby Owens in conversation with acclaimed author, journalist, and Jewish community leader Abigail Pogrebin, focusing on her collective work around Jewish identity. Key topics include her books My Jewish Year, One and the Same, and her latest, It Takes Two to Torah. The discussion explores modern Jewish identity, the richness (and challenges) of engaging with Jewish holidays, the experience of being an identical twin, and the necessity for preparation, learning, and communal unity—especially in the wake of October 7th and rising antisemitism. The conversation balances humor, personal anecdote, incisive self-reflection, and thoughtful cultural critique.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Abigail Pogrebin’s Jewish Journey & Writing Background

• Upbringing & Family Influence – Grew up in a feminist, somewhat observant Jewish household; her mother, Letty Cottin Pogrebin, was a co-founder of Ms. Magazine and instrumental in “Free to Be… You and Me.” Despite this, Abigail wasn't Bat Mitzvahed and felt a gap in her Jewish education as an adult.

  “My mother... was also a very observant Jew ... but not so much the structure of a Jewish life. I didn't go to Hebrew school. I was not a Bat Mitzvah. And I began to miss that when I became an adult.” (06:27)

• Professional Shift Toward Jewish Exploration – Trained as a journalist and TV news producer, Abigail shifted her focus to Jewish learning and writing after becoming a mother and questioning what she’d pass on.

  “Sometimes you have that inflection point where you're feeling like you're missing something, like there's sort of a gap... I just became so kind of alive with Jewish study.” (07:50)

• Jewish Celebrity Interviews as Entry Point – She interviewed 60+ prominent American Jews as a novel way to explore identity, which led to more formal Jewish study.

My Jewish Year: Rediscovering the Jewish Calendar

• Project Description – Abigail marked and deeply observed all 18 Jewish holidays in a year, writing about her experiences, from the mundane to the profound.

  “I call it Extreme Sport Judaism... I feel like every Jew should be able to explain that. And that's not a judgment. I just feel like sometimes Jewish identity can be more wobbly if it's not grounded in just more understanding.” (09:42)

• Accessible, Relatable Style – Zibby praises the humor and relatability, such as the “cut the shofar” moment with Abigail’s husband.

  Zibby: “…you have these funny scenes, like when you're learning to play the shofar and your husband yells from the next room, 'Cut the shofar.'” (09:34)

• Learning Through Immersion and Interviews – Abigail learned by immersing herself in traditions, talking to diverse rabbis, and translating these experiences for secular or unfamiliar audiences.

  “I decided to basically mark and observe and experience every single holiday in the Jewish calendar in real time. …I interviewed over 60 rabbis...” (09:57)

• Diverse Perspectives on Jewish Practice – The holiday of Sukkot illustrated how four rabbis offered “four different takes,” underscoring the pluralism in Judaism.

• The Power of Appointed Time – Contrasted the asynchrony of modern life with the synchrony of Jewish ritual, drawing a parallel between the communal observance of holidays and events like the Super Bowl.

  “Judaism is not like that... Kol Nidre, the night before Yom Kippur happens, when it happens... there's something powerful about in a way, saying we're all gonna do this now, wherever you are in your life.” (15:14)

• Candid about Level of Observance – “I have not become an observant Jew, but I do think there's something about dipping a toe into the tradition a little more.” (13:21)

Navigating Modern Jewish Identity

• Struggles with Knowledge & Participation – Both Zibby and Abigail acknowledged the challenge of “so many holidays and not even know about them,” speaking to a widespread disconnect even among proud Jews.

• Evolution of Holidays – Not all Jewish holidays are ancient; for instance, Yom HaShoah (Holocaust Remembrance Day) was shaped by modern Israeli history and debated in the Knesset.

  “...there was debate about where to place it in the calendar. Not all these holidays come from Sinai, so to speak. They were created in my parents’ lifetime.” (14:01)

• Tradition as Grounding Force – Reading the Torah and participating in ancient rituals provided Abigail powerful grounding in history and community.

  “I am reading what people have read thousands of years, over and over. And there's something that—how can that not ground you in history and in life?” (14:45, paraphrased)

One and the Same: Reflections on Twinship

• Exploring Twin Identity – Abigail is an identical twin and wrote a book exploring adult twin relationships, their psychological intricacies, and their impact on identity.

  “...there were all these books about telling parents how to raise twins... What there wasn’t was a book that interviewed adult twins and said, what was it like?” (22:32)

• Her Experience with Robyn – She and her sister Robyn are deeply close; the bond is described as “carrying someone else through your life.”

  “There is a closeness that can't be described. It's kind of its own intimacy... When she's unhappy, I'm unhappy. When she's joyful, it's my joy too.” (24:30)

• Caveat to Parents of Twins – Advocates for intentional moments of separation to foster individual identities:

  “…even if the twins don't want to be apart...there still has to be moments where you say, you know, let's go get a bagel together… It was just an assumption that we were a set. And I think that had a certain kind of toll in just making sure you kind of know who you are apart.” (25:51)

Moderating, Interviewing, and the Art of Preparedness

• Career Shift: After a career as a TV producer, Abigail found joy and fulfillment as a moderator for Jewish and general audiences, including her show In the Spotlight on JBS.

  “I loved asking questions... I was so proud to be a producer...But as you know, you're behind the scenes...I often wanted to be the one who was saying, oh, this is what I wish I could ask.” (27:50)

• Preparation is Key – Both Abigail and Zibby emphasize the value of research and preparation in conducting meaningful interviews.

  “I am an anal preparer. I want to make sure I've kind of read as much as I can and listened to other interviews. And then you're sitting there and you're just listening and you're hoping that something you hear is going to spark the next question...” (29:20)

The Stakes of Jewish Community in 2024–25

• October 7th Aftermath & Antisemitism – Abigail reflects somberly on the rise of antisemitism and the painful divisions it has revealed, including within feminism.

  “Just the instantaneous antisemitism is still something I can't get over. And particularly the denial, the sexual attacks—and if not denial, the silence from feminist organizations with which and around which I was raised—all of this has been disillusioning.” (32:54)

• Surge in Jewish Learning as Response – Notices (and champions) the increase in people pursuing Jewish study, conversion, and ritual as a positive response.

  “…part of what's the toll that's been taken in our society… is just the absence of learning and preparation and understanding something before you expound on it or rail about something.” (32:48)

• Warning Against Infighting – Both see polarization within the Jewish community as a major challenge, recalling rabbinic wisdom that warns internal divisions are as dangerous as external threats.

  “You see that the rabbis said that the second temple destruction was because of Sinat Chinam, which is baseless hatred of each other.” (35:29)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I call it Extreme Sport Judaism...” (09:42, Abigail)
• “Judaism is not like that... Kol Nidre, the night before Yom Kippur happens, when it happens... there's something powerful about in a way, saying we're all gonna do this now…” (15:14, Abigail)
• “When you really stop to think about twins… there is literally another you, essentially, except for your soul…” (26:19, Zibby)
• “There is a closeness that can't be described. It's kind of its own intimacy that people don't fully understand…” (24:30, Abigail)
• “Preparation generally in life, whether it's a job interview or it's a dinner party… is actually going to just make for a more alive experience for you…” (31:05, Abigail)
• “Just the instantaneous antisemitism is still something I can't get over…” (32:54, Abigail)
• “The second temple destruction was because of Sinat Chinam, which is baseless hatred of each other… this is what takes us down… it was the way we were basically shooting in a circle.” (35:29, Abigail)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 03:07 – Introduction of Abigail’s background and literary highlights
• 06:22 – Abigail’s Jewish upbringing and journey to writing
• 09:42 – The genesis and ethos of My Jewish Year
• 11:10 – Sukkot anecdote: Learning via interviews across denominations
• 14:45 – On ritual, community, and what binds Jews together
• 22:32 – Exploration of identical twinhood and the writing of One and the Same
• 27:29 – Shift from producing to moderating and public interviewing
• 31:30 – On the value of preparation and its broader societal absence
• 32:54 – Abigail’s post-Oct 7 reflections & the dangers of internal community division
• 35:29 – Rabbinic warnings against “Sinat Chinam” (baseless hatred)
• 36:16 – Closing thoughts and mutual appreciation

Episode Tone & Takeaways

The conversation is candid, warm, and intellectually vibrant—balancing humor and depth. It grapples with the lived realities of Jewish practice, the complexities of identity (religious and personal), and the urgency for solidarity and meaningful engagement in a moment of profound upheaval and challenge for the Jewish community. Both Zibby and Abigail model a Jewish curiosity and gravitas, inviting listeners—regardless of background—to reflect, learn, and participate.

Recommended for:

• Listeners seeking insight into modern Jewish life, rituals, and community
• Those interested in memoir, identity, and family relationships
• Anyone grappling with questions of tradition, community, and contemporary challenge

Find Abigail Pogrebin’s books at your local independent bookstore or online retailers. For more author interviews, visit zibbymedia.com.