Totally Booked with Zibby: Angela Buchdahl – Heart of a Stranger: An Unlikely Rabbi's Story of Faith, Identity, and Belonging

Air date: November 5, 2025
Host: Zibby Owens
Guest: Rabbi Angela Buchdahl

Episode Overview

In this episode of "Totally Booked with Zibby," host Zibby Owens sits down with Rabbi Angela Buchdahl to discuss her memoir, Heart of a Stranger: An Unlikely Rabbi's Story of Faith, Identity, and Belonging. The conversation explores themes of personal and spiritual identity, the experience of being an outsider, Jewish teachings, interfaith and intercultural family dynamics, coping with trauma and antisemitism, and the power of community and ritual. Deeply personal anecdotes merge with wider cultural and philosophical questions, all delivered in Rabbi Buchdahl’s reflective, candid voice.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Becoming an Author and Crafting the Memoir

[02:00–05:17]

• Rabbi Buchdahl admits discomfort at being called an "author," feeling more at home with the title rabbi, but is excited about the book’s release.
• Motivation for writing: Began during a sabbatical in the pandemic. Her intent was to make Jewish teachings accessible to more people, noting that books like those of Deepak Chopra and Pema Chödrön popularize Buddhism but there are few accessible Jewish equivalents.
• Agent’s advice: Write a memoir to weave Jewish teachings and her unique background into the narrative.
• Format: 31 short chronological chapters, each paired with a “mini sermon” (devar Torah) based on a Hebrew word or concept, linking life events with Jewish teachings.
• Key insight: "All theology is autobiographical" – one's personal experiences inevitably shape their understanding of God and meaning (attributed to Rabbi David Ellenson).

“I wanted the world to understand something deeper about Judaism and who Jews are, more than I wanted them to know my story.”
—Rabbi Angela Buchdahl [04:44]

2. The Idea of "Chosen People" in Judaism

[05:17–07:09]

• Addressing misconceptions: The belief that Jews are the “chosen people” isn’t about superiority but about being chosen for a mission — living a meaningful Jewish life and contributing to the world.
• Personal story: Visiting Korea as a rabbi to help open an Israel Education Center and delivering a keynote weaving together her Korean and Jewish identities.
• Bridge-building as purpose: The trip gave her a sense of her purpose as a rabbi — building bridges between communities.

“We are chosen for a particular mission… I actually think that every people should feel they're chosen for some purpose in the world. Every one of us has chosen to do something in the world.”
—Rabbi Angela Buchdahl [05:37]

3. Family, Loss, and Spiritual Identity

[07:09–10:41]

• Loss of her cousin Uki: Deeply affected her and her mother, exposing the limits of her mother’s Buddhist upbringing in dealing with tragedy.
• Mother's spiritual journey: Though never formally converted, her mother found solace in Jewish rituals during moments of grief but felt perpetually on the margins of full community belonging due to cultural divides.
• Commitment to inclusion: Rabbi Buchdahl’s own experiences of feeling marginalized inform her commitment to expanding the definition of Jewish peoplehood beyond racial or cultural lines.

“There are so many different ways people feel marginalized or they can't be accepted. And I think that we can do better as a Jewish community of seeing our peoplehood as beyond racial identity.”
—Rabbi Angela Buchdahl [10:18]

4. Faith, Practice, and Doubt: Her Father’s Example

[10:41–12:34]

• Father’s Judaism: Not focused on belief in God, yet demonstrated faith through ritual acts such as regular tzedakah (charity) and weekly synagogue attendance.
• Judaism can be about practice rather than belief.
• Connecting with community: Sometimes the power of ritual is in human connection, not theology.

“Maybe you've heard this joke… Goldberg goes to synagogue to talk to God, and Feinberg goes to synagogue to talk to Goldberg. My dad didn’t go to talk to God. He went to schmooze… But that's also a kind of faith.”
—Rabbi Angela Buchdahl [11:32]

5. Trauma and Antisemitism: The Colleyville Incident

[12:34–17:16]

• Retelling the hostage crisis: A British gunman targeted a Texas synagogue, believing Rabbi Buchdahl was the “chief rabbi of America,” demanding she use her supposed influence to free a terrorist.
• Responsibility versus powerlessness: The harrowing experience left her feeling both deeply responsible and utterly powerless.
• Misconceptions about antisemitism: The FBI initially did not label it antisemitic because the gunman believed in Jewish power rather than expressing hatred — but this too is dangerous antisemitism.

“He said, ‘Don’t be ridiculous. All Jews have power. And you're the rabbi of a big synagogue in New York. You just need to make a few phone calls and get her here.’ ... That’s a lesson we’re still grappling with today.”
—Rabbi Angela Buchdahl [13:48]

6. Hope, Community, and the Heart of a Stranger

[21:10–24:49]

• Navigating divisive times: It’s difficult to hold together ideologically diverse communities and still inspire hope.
• Jewish introspection: The Jewish New Year is about self-accounting — recognizing where we prioritize outrage over listening, and how fear divides us.
• Building bridges: Her own feelings of being an outsider — as a biracial, bicultural person and child of a non-Jewish mother — are universal. Most people feel this way at some point for various reasons.
• Empathy as superpower: Identifying with being a “stranger” helps her connect and create belonging for others.

"Knowing what it is to have the heart of a stranger became my superpower. ... When I do that, I feel like I belong a little bit more, too. Could we do that for each other? Is that so hard?"
—Rabbi Angela Buchdahl [23:51]

7. Music and Ritual in Mourning

[24:49–26:59]

• Singing at funerals: Zibby recalls Rabbi Buchdahl’s moving performance of Ed Sheeran’s "Photograph" at a community member’s funeral.
• Music as comfort: The performance is revisited live on the show, demonstrating the Rabbi’s cantor roots and the emotional power of music in holding grief.

8. Closing: What Makes You, You?

[27:52–28:46]

• Rabbi Buchdahl’s self-definition:
  • Belief in people and their capacity to change the world for the better.
  • Hopefulness, even in difficult times, is rooted in a commitment to sharing stories and fostering connection.

“What makes me me is I deeply believe in people... and love. I deeply believe that people will be able to change this world and make it better. ... That's why I'm grateful that we can share stories with each other.”
—Rabbi Angela Buchdahl [28:10]

Notable Quotes

• On writing as a spiritual act:
  “All theology is autobiographical.” [04:08]
• On being chosen:
  “We are chosen for a particular mission… I actually think that every people should feel they're chosen for some purpose in the world.” [05:37]
• On inclusion:
  “We can do better as a Jewish community of seeing our peoplehood as beyond racial identity.” [10:18]
• On antisemitism:
  “Do we not understand that when someone says, Jews have influence and power and can control the world... You don't understand that that's actually also not only antisemitism but extremely dangerous antisemitism?” [15:46]
• On hopefulness:
  “I deeply believe that people will be able to change this world and make it better. And that is why I do the work that I do.” [28:10]

Memorable Moments & Timestamps

• [02:00] Rabbi Buchdahl’s discomfort and excitement at being called an author
• [05:37] Her unique take on the “chosen people” concept and her Korea trip
• [07:43] Reading of the moving story about her cousin Uki’s death
• [12:54] The Colleyville hostage crisis and a window into real-world antisemitic threats
• [21:22] Reflections on divisiveness, bridge-building, and the heart of a stranger
• [25:18] Live singing of “Photograph” reflecting her cantor background
• [28:10] Defining what makes her “her” — belief in people and hope

Conclusion

This episode offers a nuanced portrait of Rabbi Angela Buchdahl — as an individual, spiritual leader, and bridge-builder. Through candid storytelling and honest reflection, she shares how experiences of loss, marginalization, and resilience inform her understanding of faith, community, and belonging. Whether discussing philosophy, trauma, or singing at a funeral, Rabbi Buchdahl exemplifies the heart of a stranger — and the transformative power of empathy.