Totally Booked with Zibby – Clea Shearer, CANCER IS COMPLICATED: And Other Unexpected Lessons I've Learned

Host: Zibby Owens
Guest: Clea Shearer
Date: September 26, 2025

Overview:

In this episode, Zibby Owens interviews Clea Shearer, co-founder of The Home Edit and author of CANCER IS COMPLICATED: And Other Unexpected Lessons I’ve Learned. Clea shares her journey as a breast cancer survivor, reflecting on her diagnosis, treatment, family support, and the “complicated” nature of living through and beyond cancer. The conversation digs deep into Clea's philosophy on advocacy, honesty in storytelling, and finding meaning in adversity, offering profound insights for anyone affected by illness, whether directly or as a supporter.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Writing with Purpose: Turning Diagnosis into Opportunity

• Why Share the Story?
  • Clea explains her initial reaction post-diagnosis—fear, sadness, and overwhelm—but a few days later, a perspective shift:

    “If I can do this journey so someone else doesn't have to, then I felt like that was a real honor.” (04:42)

  • She decided to document everything publicly, aiming to make her journey purposeful and help others navigate the experience.
• Making Cancer Count:
  • “If I'm going to have cancer, I don't half-ass anything, so I'm going to make sure to make it as impactful as possible and hopefully help people along the way.” (05:22)

2. The Role of Loved Ones: Family Support During Crisis

• Mother-daughter Bond:
  • Clea’s mom was her steadfast caregiver, creating cherished, even joyful moments amid hardship:

    “When I got diagnosed, as close as we've always been, something just completely shifted... I didn't know that we could get closer, but... there's nothing quite like something like this to put everything into perspective.” (07:12)

  • Humorous anecdotes, like rearranging flowers post-surgery under her mother’s watchful eye, reveal the blend of tension and affection.
• Supportive Spouse:
  • Clea’s husband John was omnipresent for every appointment:

    “He never misses an appointment, even just like a follow up, like nothing appointment. He is always, always there.” (08:47)

  • He took on dual parenting and caregiving roles during her treatment.

3. Early Symptoms, Self-Advocacy, and Systemic Barriers

• Discovery Story:
  • In February 2022, at a career high, Clea discovers a lump in her breast after showering, recognizing it as serious. She describes prior dismissals of similar symptoms and sudden clarity:

    “That day in the shower... there is nothing else that this could be.” (10:13)

• Fighting for Medical Attention:
  • After being told mammogram appointments weren’t available for months, Clea’s determination stands out:

    “I just, I had a gut feeling that this was going to be cancer... You need to advocate for yourself.” (12:54)

• Unspoken Burdens on Women:
  • Clea emphasizes that women, in particular, must push for their own care:

    “We're busy, we're working, we're raising families. The last thing that we deal with is ourselves... let me figure it out so you guys are better equipped.” (13:47)

4. Media Portrayal vs. Reality of Cancer

• Over-dramatization in Hollywood:
  • Clea critiques inaccurate, sepia-toned depictions of chemotherapy:

    “I cannot watch a movie at this point. Like, I am somehow drawn to a movie... that inevitably, like 60% of the way through, someone has breast cancer.” (14:57)

  • She insists on showing nuance—the “humanity” and not just tragedy—of cancer experiences.

5. Emotional Rollercoaster: After the End of Treatment

• Depression at the Finish Line:
  • Finishing active treatment brought unexpected emotional difficulty:

    “I pictured myself in the Sound of Music, frolicking on the grass... I really tried to feel that way, but I couldn't access the happiness or the joy...” (19:09-19:47)

  • Clea compares the let-down to postpartum depression: “You know that this should be the happiest moment in your life. Like, you know that. So you’re like, what? What is wrong with me?” (19:57)
  • She highlights the challenge of feeling untethered without fixable milestones and the importance of seeking help (“I really wanted to be honest with that because I would bet it happens to a lot of cancer patients.” (22:50))

6. Surgery Complications and Resilience

• Numerous Surgeries and Setbacks:
  • Clea describes the succession of surgeries, complications (necrosis, reconstruction failures), and daunting recovery ahead:

    “This will be my 11th surgery, so I unfortunately, am a pro. This one, though, is going to be very big... It's called latissimus dorsi flap surgery...” (23:17)

  • Her nervousness, even as a “pro,” reveals the emotional toll of perpetual pivoting and the challenge of losing control.

7. The Art of Pivoting and Letting Go of Control

• No Room for Control Freaks:
  • Clea reflects on her evolution from meticulous planner to accepting uncertainty:

    “If you're a planner, if you're a control freak, cancer is not the disease for you... You can’t plan anything. Everything is a pivot.” (26:12)

8. Faith, Belief, and Purpose

• Spiritual Perspective:
  • Not overtly religious, Clea discusses a sense of purpose and fate:

    “I wasn't trying to pray it away... I felt like this was for me to go through.” (27:21)

9. Celebrity Connections and Community

• Harnessing the Power of Network:
  • From growing up in Los Angeles to celebrity projects and cancer bonds, Clea’s story intersects with stars like Reese Witherspoon, Christina Applegate, and Olivia Munn:

    “Some people were, you know, they came along in my life because of cancer, either mine or theirs.” (29:38-30:45)

10. Advice for Storytellers: Brutal Honesty

• Writing and Sharing Truthfully:
  • Clea’s approach is to be fully transparent:

    “The most important thing is just brutal honesty... if you're honest with yourself and honest with everyone else, I mean, what more could you hope for?” (32:44-34:02)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On finding a sense of purpose in adversity:

  “If I can do this journey so someone else doesn't have to, then I felt like that was a real honor." (04:42)

• On her support system:

  “My mom just showed up and continues to show up every single time” (07:54)
  “He [John] was my moral support, he was my emotional support, he was my actual caregiver.” (08:47)

• On self-advocacy:

  “You need to listen to your body. You need to advocate for yourself... and I don’t think women are taught to do that.” (13:22)

• On media’s depiction of cancer:

  “These scenes are so dark... But I blame Hollywood because it sucks to always feel like... there’s no way we could go through it.” (14:57)

• On post-treatment depression:

  “I really tried to feel that way, but I couldn't access the happiness or joy...” (19:19)

• On the unpredictability of cancer:

  “You can’t plan anything. Everything is a pivot.” (26:19)

• On honesty in storytelling:

  “Brutal honesty is the only way to go...” (32:44)

Important Timestamps

• Clea’s diagnosis and early reaction: 04:42 – 05:50
• The role and impact of Clea’s mother: 06:41 – 08:42
• Self-advocacy and difficulties accessing care: 10:13 – 13:47
• Clea’s critique of cancer in media portrayals: 14:57 – 16:56
• Post-treatment depression and mental health: 19:09 – 22:50
• Surgery complications and resilience: 23:17 – 26:12
• Letting go of control and the need to pivot: 26:12 – 27:16
• Jewish identity and spiritual outlook: 27:16 – 29:09
• Celebrity circle and support network: 29:38 – 32:18
• Advice on storytelling—brutal honesty: 32:40 – 34:02

Final Thoughts

Clea Shearer offers unvarnished, heartfelt, and often humorous insight into living through breast cancer, underscoring the importance of family, self-advocacy, and community. Her blunt honesty and openness provide a roadmap to others facing adversity, whether illness or otherwise: embrace support, push for your needs, find moments of joy, and above all, tell your truth.