Podcast Summary: Totally Booked with Zibby
Episode Title: Donna Freitas, HER ONE REGRET
Host: Zibby Owens
Guest: Donna Freitas
Date: January 5, 2026
Overview of Episode Theme
In this engaging episode, Zibby Owens interviews acclaimed author Donna Freitas about her latest novel, Her One Regret. The discussion dives into the complex themes of motherhood, regret, societal judgment, female friendship, and the taboo surrounding women who struggle with (or even regret) becoming mothers. Drawing from personal experiences and deep research, Freitas offers candid insights into her motivations, writing process, and the broader implications of her work.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Introducing Donna Freitas and Her One Regret
[03:06 - 05:01]
- Zibby welcomes Donna, outlining her impressive career and background in gender studies, writing, and teaching.
- Donna introduces the premise of Her One Regret: the disappearance of a beautiful young mother, Lucy, whose abandoned baby is found in a parking lot. The town becomes obsessed—did she run or was she taken?
- The novel alternates among three protagonists:
- A retired detective
- Lucy’s best friend
- Julia, a new mother convinced her neighbor is holding Lucy captive
“Really, the book is powered by this question of was she taken or did she run? And so the whole book, you don’t know.”
— Donna Freitas [05:01]
The Theme of Motherhood and Societal Judgment
[06:02 - 10:49]
- The novel is positioned in a small town, spotlighting the scrutiny and judgment that mothers endure.
- Donna discusses the connection between this novel and her previous book, The Nine Lives of Rose Napolitano. She reflects on her own omission of a version in which the protagonist regrets motherhood, a choice influenced by fear over societal backlash.
- After fielding many reader questions about the missing regretful-mother archetype, Donna confronted her own avoidance and decided to tackle it in this book.
“I think for me, I’m always interested in the ways we judge women. We judge women so harshly, no matter what they do...”
— Donna Freitas [07:23]
- Donna shares her own experience with societal pressure to have children and the consistent invalidation of women’s feelings about regret or ambivalence towards motherhood.
Writing Authentic Motherhood Without Becoming a Mother
[09:09 - 10:38]
- Zibby notes the authentic depiction of motherhood in Donna’s work, despite Donna being child-free.
- Donna describes years of internal struggle with the topic and how writing allows her to imaginatively explore the “roads not taken.”
“Part of what’s wonderful about writing books... is you live the lives you didn’t choose.”
— Donna Freitas [09:57]
Exploring Despair in Motherhood: The Character of Julia
[10:49 - 17:18]
- Zibby reads a raw excerpt from Julia’s perspective, exposing deep resentment, exhaustion, and a lack of connection to her child.
- Donna explains that Julia embodies her greatest fear—regretting motherhood after giving in to external pressure.
- She credits her editor, Juliet Grames, for encouraging her to push Julia’s experience to the edge, portraying despair and taboo truthfully.
“There are going to be women out there who have never been allowed to speak of what they’re feeling...you’ve got to be willing to, like, go all the way.”
— Donna Freitas recounting her editor’s advice [13:11]
- Donna underscores the importance of fiction as a vehicle for women to process forbidden feelings without exposing themselves.
“I think part of what’s important about fiction... is I think they let all of us talk about a topic that feels forbidden.”
— Donna Freitas [16:18]
The Role of Loneliness and Friendship
[26:43 - 28:44]
- Zibby and Donna discuss the pervasive loneliness depicted in the book, not just in motherhood but in female friendships as well.
- Donna points out that despite its darkness, the book centers on women supporting each other and the healing power of female friendship.
“If there’s another theme in this book, it’s women who love each other. Women’s friendship.”
— Donna Freitas [27:27]
Personal Reflections: Donna’s Own Mother & Regrets
[18:49 - 26:43]
- Donna describes her loving relationship with her late mother, who was determined to have children and was a major influence.
- She shares that her mother’s early death prevented many important conversations, leading to her only real regrets—missed opportunities for deeper familial connection and to ask her parents about their lives and heritage.
- Donna encourages listeners to appreciate their parents while they are alive.
“You need to know that your parents are not here forever... try to get to a point where you can just accept them for who they are.”
— Donna Freitas [23:13]
The Craft of Writing Page-Turning Fiction
[28:44 - 31:55]
- Zibby praises the novel’s propulsive pacing and suspense.
- Donna’s advice: Write about what is most urgent for you, tackling big questions and writing toward answers—urgency translates to reader engagement.
“If it’s urgent for you, the reader will feel the urgency in your book.”
— Donna Freitas [30:20]
- Zibby notes Donna also uses craft elements—alternating POVs, short chapters, well-placed clues—to build tension.
What’s Next for Donna Freitas?
[31:55 - 34:52]
- Donna reveals she’s working on the next book in what will become a series, focusing on Diana, the retired detective, set during her youth in Rhode Island in the 1970s.
- The upcoming series, potentially titled “Ocean State Thrillers,” will explore more of Diana’s history, with future books set in memorable locations from Donna’s childhood (including a convent inspired by her mother’s nun friends).
“My next book is going to be Diana’s first case, and then they’re going to go forward in time toward the present. And I already know what books three and four are going to be.”
— Donna Freitas [33:43]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
“You coward, Donna Freitas. And I began to think, I need to write that story.”
— Donna Freitas on confronting her fear of writing about maternal regret [07:51] -
“Julia is the heart of this novel. She’s the me I was afraid I would become.”
— Donna Freitas on the character of Julia [12:23] -
“Women seem to be fair game. And I’m really interested in the ways we... gaslight women.”
— Donna Freitas [07:35] -
“I think loneliness is one of the most painful feelings.”
— Zibby Owens [27:16] -
“With a novel, it’s so expansive. You’ve got so many words; some of them cannot be great... but I love playing around with the form.”
— Donna Freitas [31:25]
Timestamps for Key Segments
- [04:42] – Donna introduces Her One Regret and the suspenseful central premise
- [06:28] – The deep taboo of maternal regret and societal judgment
- [09:21] – Writing about motherhood without children; the “roads not taken”
- [11:00] – Excerpt: Julia’s profound struggle
- [13:11] – Editor’s challenge: “Go all the way” with despair
- [16:18] – The power of fiction for taboo subjects
- [18:53] – Donna’s relationship with her mother
- [22:08] – Donna’s personal regrets—missed conversations with parents
- [27:27] – Friendship as a remedy for loneliness
- [31:04] – Novel-writing craft and page-turning techniques
- [32:03] – Teasing the next book in the series
Tone & Atmosphere
The conversation is candid, thoughtful, and supportive, blending earnest reflection with humor and deep empathy. Both host and guest create a welcoming environment for discussing the messiness and complexities of womanhood, friendship, and regret, always encouraging listeners to seek honesty and connection in their own lives.
Summary
This episode offers a rich, nuanced discussion of Her One Regret and the pains and possibilities of being a woman—whether as a mother, daughter, friend, or creative. Donna Freitas’ willingness to confront taboo subjects results in both a gripping novel and an invaluable conversation about shame, the power of fiction, and women’s truths.