Podcast Summary: Totally Booked with Zibby Owens

Episode: Emma Tourtelot, NO ONE YOU KNOW: A Novel
Date: February 9, 2026
Host: Zibby Owens
Guest: Emma Tourtelot

Overview

This episode features Emma Tourtelot discussing her debut novel, "No One You Know," a dual-narrative story exploring the complexities of grief, motherhood, family, and community in a small Hudson Valley town. Zibby Owens delves into Emma's inspiration for the book, the intricacies of her writing process, and the themes that make this novel a poignant and relatable read.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Inspiration Behind "No One You Know"

• Mother–Daughter Grief:

  • The book alternates perspectives between a mother and her teenage daughter, Indy, as they process the tragic loss of Indy’s best friend.
  • Emma’s Personal Connection: Emma was inspired by her own daughter’s struggle after her best friend moved away during middle school.
  • Quote:

    “It was the first time something really big happened to one of my kids that I couldn’t fix… I wanted to write about that feeling. Being a mother, it's the worst.”
    – Emma Tourtelot [06:03]

• Transition from Nonfiction to Fiction:

  • Emma previously wrote about sex and relationships as part of the duo “Em & Lo,” and she describes her writing focus as “always about the heart.”
  • The idea for the novel started with the image of a mother, a daughter, and their chickens—a nod to Emma’s own city-to-country transition.
  • Quote:

    “The very first part of this book I wrote…was about a mother and a daughter with chickens and trying to keep the chickens alive…We were these idiots from the city who came out to the country and didn’t realize how hard it would be.”
    – Emma Tourtelot [07:38]

Themes of Loss, Grief, and Healing

• Indy’s Profound Grief:

  • Zibby reads a moving passage from the daughter’s perspective, capturing how formative the lost friendship was for Indy.
  • Memorable Passage (read by Zibby) [09:24]:

    “I don’t know how to be in this room without Maddie, and I don’t know how to be still without her beside me. I’ve known Maddie for so long that I have no real memories before her…If I ever speak again, it will have to be in a new language.”

• Emma’s Approach to Writing Grief:

  • Emma reflects on her own experiences with loss in her family and friendship, which informed her nuanced portrayal of grief.
  • She emphasizes the importance ​of being present for someone who's grieving—even simple gestures matter.
  • Quote:

    “I realized, oh, you just have to say something. This was kind of me just paying attention to how people grieve and what they need…”
    – Emma Tourtelot [11:10]

Indy’s Journey & Adolescent Search for Meaning

• Indy’s Radical Steps:

  • Indy seeks comfort in unconventional ways, including dramatically discarding her possessions and exploring online communities focused on consciousness and identity.
  • Research & Realism: Emma considered various options for Indy’s journey, ultimately deciding on something less predictable and more personal than religion.
  • Quote:

    “I wanted her to find something that was her own…she does make a lot of mistakes, but I think at the heart of what Indy’s learning, there is some truth…”
    – Emma Tourtelot [15:43]

• Views on Consciousness:

  • The novel uses metaphors to illustrate difficult concepts, such as consciousness being like “the ocean and a single life is a wave.”
  • Quote:

    “That’s the closest I can come to…understanding it.”
    – Emma Tourtelot [16:45]

Intimate Portrait of Marriage & Everyday Love

• Marriage in the Novel:

  • Zibby praises Emma’s detailed, honest depiction of how grief impacts a couple’s relationship and the reality of long-term partnership.
  • Notable passage read by Zibby [18:15]:

    “I thought that marriage was defined by such moments and that a successful marriage meant learning to bide your time between them. Eventually though, I discovered it was the in-between that was truly ours…the ordinariness is the reward you earned when you chose each other.”

• Emma on Writing Marriage:

  • Emma admits her husband notices that her male characters often come off as flawed, but also emphasizes the authenticity she seeks in portraying relationships.
  • Quote:

    “You always make the husband sound like kind of assholes…But yes, it’s a good marriage.”
    – Emma Tourtelot [19:35]

The Role of Community and Friendship

• Small Town Dynamics:
  • The novel explores feeling like an outsider and local-versus-newcomer tensions, inspired by Emma’s own experiences living in a Hudson Valley town for over 20 years.
  • Quote:

    “I’ve lived there 20 years…both my kids were born there…and I still don’t feel like a local. Maybe get buried there, I don’t know.”
    – Emma Tourtelot [23:35]

Writing Process & Practical Advice

• Daily Writing Habits:

  • Emma wrote much of the novel in short bursts, often from her car during her children’s activities.
  • She emphasizes daily engagement with the work, even briefly, to remain immersed in its world.
  • Advice for Aspiring Authors:

    “Just write every day…even if I only have 10 minutes, as long as I’m opening the document once a day, I’m half-living in the dream space of the novel.”
    – Emma Tourtelot [24:44]

• Creative Inspiration:

  • Emma draws from poetry, particularly Mary Oliver, and mentions admiration for authors like Catherine Newman and books such as “The Book of Longings.”

    “My collection of Mary Oliver’s poetry…the way she writes about faith, and love, and life…is everything.”
    – Emma Tourtelot [21:27]

The Message Emma Hopes Readers Take Away

• The Novel as a Story of Hope:
  • Although “No One You Know” deals with grief, Emma sees it ultimately as a book about love and the resilience of family.
  • Quote:

    “I hope that people see the hope in it…To me, it’s a book about love. And it’s a book about a mother and a daughter finding their way back to each other.”
    – Emma Tourtelot [20:11]

Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

• "Being a mother, it’s the worst." – Emma Tourtelot [06:03]
• "I thought that marriage was defined by such moments and that a successful marriage meant learning to bide your time between them. Eventually though, I discovered it was the in-between that was truly ours." – Read by Zibby, from the novel [18:32]
• “Just write every day...even if I only have 10 minutes, as long as I’m opening the document once a day, I’m half-living in the dream space of the novel.” – Emma Tourtelot [24:44]
• “We all become ordinary to each other in the end, but this doesn’t have to destroy a marriage. The ordinariness is the reward…” – Read by Zibby, from the novel [19:10]
• “I hope that people see the hope in it...I didn't think of it as a sad book...to me, it's about love.” – Emma Tourtelot [20:11]

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment | | :--------- | :------------------------------------------------------- | | 03:02 | Zibby introduces Emma Tourtelot and the novel's premise | | 05:35 | Emma on why she wrote the book | | 07:10 | Emma’s writing background and inspiration | | 09:24 | Zibby reads a powerful passage on loss | | 10:14 | Emma on personal experience with grief | | 15:19 | Discussion of Indy’s quest for meaning | | 16:26 | Emma’s take on consciousness | | 18:15 | Passage on marriage and ordinariness | | 20:04 | What Emma hopes readers gain from the novel | | 21:04 | Emma’s literary inspirations | | 22:05 | Emma describes her writing process | | 23:31 | Emma discusses small town friendship and community | | 24:42 | Emma’s advice for aspiring writers |

Final Thoughts

Zibby Owens’ conversation with Emma Tourtelot offers an intimate look at the emotional core of “No One You Know.” Through candid stories, sincere advice, and thoughtful readings from the novel, listeners gain a rich understanding of the book’s meditations on love, loss, and resilience—both universal and deeply personal. Emma’s take on parenting, marriage, and community resonate with authenticity and hope, making this a standout episode for readers and writers alike.